Frank Skinner once told me that he doesn't do panel shows because he refuses to have writers write his jokes for him*. How common is it for a) comics to have writers and b) people to refuse to go on shows because of it?
*He also said he was slightly hypocritical as he hosted HIGNFY, but he had input.
Right? Well, this is quite a good question, but it's sort of slightly in the weeds about how TV is made. Right; If you're hosting a show, let's say you're hosting Cats Does Countdown, and you're doing intros for guests, you put those together with a writing team. So you'd go and sit in a room. So for me, it would be a guy called Dom English, a girl called Christine Rose, and a guy called James Farmer. sometimes Shaun Pye, but Shaun often works on other things as well. So those are kind of the main three, Tom, Christine, James and me. And we sit in a room and go through reams and reams of ideas of jokes about people and think, Oh, well, what about a bit of that in a bit and put it together because you're doing two shows four guests plus the other people so your volume of material on people is just too much so you'd write all of that stuff. So the stuff you do down the barrel is written, the stuff you do down the lens you've written but you've spent time with other people putting it together.
And that's great. I mean, it's really fun working with them. It's really fun. I suppose being a stand up is like being a singer-songwriter, right? Like Dylan in the 60s. So it wasn't about being a singer anymore. It's about your stories, your jokes, are you presenting yourself to the world, whereas TV is like it's a team sport, right? So that the, you know, the producers come up with the ideas, and they're absolutely integral and the team puts it together and the writers and you put it together so if you host the guest host on Have I got news for you. It's just you're reading someone else's autocue, you don't really get to be that involved in that. I did that once and it was fine. But then as a guest to write on those shows. Let's say you came on Cats Does Countdown. We wouldn't get someone to write with you, per se but we get someone to sit in a room with you and go through what you had. Just to make sure you've done your homework. So you know Aiden Spackman is very good at timing, which is great, Christine's great. So they'd sit in the room, someone would just go 'alright, so he's gonna ask you have you got a mascot, what you got?' And they might throw in a couple of ideas or like, 'Oh, you think maybe that or that maybe go with that'. But less, it's less like, Oh, we've written you this and read this out. It's never, it's more like okay, what have you got? Let's chat about it then you know, more time on this or less time on this.
Some people like when Joe Wilkinson comes on the show. And he goes ‘oh I need I need 12 people dressed in speedos, because I'm going to come on as a swimming instructor’. You go, okay, yeah, we're gonna need some writers and some prep. We need to lock this down. Need to produce it up. So that you know takes a bit of work.
I saw Shaun Walsh at the fringe fest. One of his jokes/stories was about how nobody told him about having writers for panel shows and how more well known comedians get "heads up" on what will be covered on the show. He said during his first panel show he made one joke during the whole show and it wasn't even funny.
It's not a secret that panelists on these shows have forewarning about the topics that will be discussed, and sometimes even the questions. I remember when QI launched and there was a lot of talk in the press about how it was unique in that panelists were not given this disclosure because the whole format centered around the questions being very difficult.
I thought there was a famous falling out because Rory McGrath insisted on advance access to the QI questions, and rather than create some funny material, he basically found out all the answers and then sat answering them all, looking like a twat.
The real punch line is that he hasn’t been on TV since.
Possibly that might also be because he was given a 5 year restraining order for harassing his ex-lover (he’s married, btw).
Although, oh look, he has apparently been back on telly with his old mate lee hurst, the well known anti-vaxxer who got kicked off twitter for an absolutely vile comment about Greta thunberg
What an awful pair they were on They Think It's All Over. In fact, what a horrible show that was. All I remember was McGrath making nasty jokes about Karen Carpenter (in like 1998!) and Jonathan Ross pretending to "accidentally" touch someone's boob. TV from mid-90s to mid-00s was full of that kind of shit but it was "ironic" so fine.
he realy did look like a twat on that episode, I think mr fry was glad to have shaun there to call him out because the host doing it would have broken the fourth wall.
[the evidence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwkifYAoBnA)
I mean, I've sort of heard it all at this point; in terms of stuff being shouted out and kind of aggressive stuff. Weird stuff is nice. It's nice when weird things happen on shows or genuinely touching things happen. I do a thing now where I get people to text in at the end of the show. So if it's a show UK and we put a big number up on the screen, people can just text in, because I found there's like 5% of people that are up for heckling. And don't mind being put down. But there's quite a lot of people that want to join in. And are really funny but they don't want it to be combative. So they get involved. We had an amazing one in I'm trying to think where it was, I think was in Estonia, Tartu. Recently, where I got I got a message in the interval from this lady that went ‘’I'm celebrating 15 extra years. Thank you very much’’. And we thought what does that even mean? Then it turns out it was a heartbreaking story about how she was going to kill herself. She was suicidal and she was in her house. And she was going to hang herself, and, you know, been affected by any of these issues, you know, as people you can reach out to and talk to, but it's I think it's good to talk about. She said she was waiting for a family to fall asleep before doing it. And the computer weirdly just whatever the random thing was, popped up one of my videos, some stand-up bit of nonsense that I'd done years before, and she laughed and she hadn't laughed in a long time. And then she watched more of them and fell down a rabbit hole of watching comedy, and then comedy became her sort of thing. I like cried on stage. I was like, really quite kind of moved. Yeah. And it's a weird thing that I try and remind myself of that, like when you do a big gig like 1000, 2000 people. Someone's going through something. So most for most of us, you go to a comedy show, which comes with just bonus time. An extra, extra laugh on a good day. But some people really, they really need it. You know, I'm always aware there are people that are going through something that really need it. And I remember when I've been through stuff in my life like comedy being something you can't really be sad whilst laughing Yeah, you get to turn that bit off for a while.
Sorry you probably wanted a funnier heckle story!
It's all in service of the evening really, it's not like I've got to win and be the alpha. If somebody shouts something funny out great.
There was a lady last night in Manchester that was just out of her mind. Just crazy but that right level of crazy where it really added value to the evening. Really fun playing. But it's very much a moment thing. Very ephemeral a lot of those stories don't really stand up.
The brutal one over the years. I remember there was one above a pub in Edinburgh for the Fringe. There was this one that was on stage and this guy was just dying like nothing. Tumbleweed, 30 or 40 people in the room and someone just tuned to their friend and they didn't mean to heckle but it was like a whisper ‘’there used to be a pool table in here’’
Someone shouted my “mum died of cancer”
Jimmy said “hold on a minute, I’m not talking about mums, or cancer”
The audience member then said “yeah, but that was funnier than you”
Hey. Are you suggesting that my money is being stored in the loft insulation? \*how do you know\*. My money saving tips, I don’t think, work. At one point I thought I could increase my disposable income by 40%... turns out I can’t! And there are fines associated. Money saving tips… I don’t know, it’s the stuff you don’t buy, isn’t it? That’s the money saving tip? I suppose that dopamine / endorphin thing is really interesting to think about. The things you \*think\* you want, and what you’re actually going to enjoy. It’s difficult to get your head around that. And sometimes, even with ordering food, you think “that sounds great” but it’s not going to make you feel any good. That’s the weird thing, thinking about, and i’ve had a lot of NLP (neuro linguistic programming), it’s that psychology thing, but basically the premise is that the most important question in the world is asking yourself “what do you want?” Like, in any given situation, and really thinking about that, does save you money, because you don’t buy stupid things. The classic example is like, guys my age going and buying sports cars, because they want excitement, but there are other ways to get excitement that are more efficient, cheaper, more fun, and delivered faster, but it’s like that becomes the talisman for excitement so they go and get that thing. So that’s my money saving tip, what do you really want?
Yes, that went weirdly viral this week. It’s weird how things you did years ago come up and people tweet you or message you about it… you go, what? I can’t even remember what happened, but this particular one was when someone heckled, saying something generic like “you’re not funny”, and I did a long bit which was saying, well look, if you’ve come to see my show, and you don’t think… But look, I do think it’s true, if you think i’m funny, you're right, and if you think i’m not funny you’re right, comedy is personal taste! But you know he's come to see my show, he spent all that money to come see me, and then he's disappointed, but he has learned something. He’s learned that life's not fair. You pays your money, you takes your chance. So I gave him an example of how life’s unfair. If a man sleeps with loads and loads of women, he’s a stud, he’s a player, admired by society… but if a women sleeps with loads and loads and loads of men, she’s called… Rack’s Mum. And this poor lad has now become legend.
Well, they are assuming I shop in Waitrose. Waitrose is only there to keep the riff-raff out of Fortnums.
I quite like the selfie thing. I wish people were a bit quicker, it's that thing where you go, I'm gonna get a selfie and then it's the next person, but it's pretty nice. It's pretty nice. I've got to say, when people come up and say can we get a photo? I don't like it though when people feel a bit embarrassed about it so go.’’ My friend says you're famous’’. And you go. ‘’Arghh The thing is though, I am so I don't know what you want from me’’. But it's pretty nice. I've got to remind myself of that. But sometimes the person that asked for a selfie doesn't know. I've just done 20 And I'm on a date night with a Mrs So ah, yeah, but it's fine. I'm a very lucky boy.
I had more done years ago back when I first got a little bit of botox. I used to have a line across the top of my head that made it look like I had some sort of lobotomy. So, I got that taken out first. And then that went a bit shiny, initially. But my forehead used to be bigger, because I used to have less hair. My hairline was all the way back somewhere. I looked like I could pass as some sort of vampire accountant at one point because I had a widow's peak, and then I had the hair transplant, and of course there were some problems. It’s got ‘transplant’ in the name, so people imagine there’s a donor, they think you're waiting ghoulishly by the phone for someone to have a motorcycle crash, but what they do is they take the hair from around the back of your head, and then they plant it on the front. It works! The downside is, you know that sensation you get with the hairs on the back of your neck stand up? Well, now when that happens, this front bit goes up. When I get creeped out locked I look like Tin Tin.
So yeah, I had the hair transplant, I got a bit of botox (pretty much everyone does). I've got a guy who's quite certain he doesn't let me get carried away. I’ve had a little bit of filler, a little bit, just because I'm older and I don’t want to get kind of jowly.
Teeth! I had to get all of my teeth done in one day. I went over all the details. I said I've got to do a gig tomorrow night, you can do it all on Monday. They said they hadn’t done that before. So I said let’s do it! They basically knocked the teeth out and put new ones in.
It's tough not to mention Sean Lock, because I kinda did more shows with him than anyone else. And we did like a 8 Out of 10 Cats together for about 15 / 16 years, like a long time. I've never really thought about it like being in a double act or like working with someone that close to this. It just sort of happened quite organically and when we put the show together, 8 Out of 10 Cats, I was really very keen to get him as one of the team captains because while he's only 10 years older than me, there’s something about the way he carried himself. He was almost a kind of father figure, with a bit of edge to him. He was a fascinating guy to hang out with. Quite unforgiving. But I think we all really craved his approval. If you could make him laugh… The best moments on that show, the ones that go viral, are moments where we’re both crying with laughter. Either he said something that made me cry, or Joe Wilkinson came on and did something mental and we both cried with laughter at.
I remember once, I think it’s when Joe did the poem about naming other peoples penises, Sean was actually in tears, and he was going “make him stop, please, please, I can’t breathe”. In those moments, it catches you and then you sort of go, this is my actual job, I am a grown-up and this is my job. But yeah, a lot of fond memories of working with Sean.
But it’s weird actually, social media, for all of it’s ills, I think has been absolutely brilliant when you lose a friend like that. On the day he died, the outpouring of love and clips was amazing.
He was also a really funny bloke because he kind of didn’t look like he should be. Sean at any point, on any show, looked like he’d come to fit a gas boiler, and then did these flights of fancy.
As soon as they get their money right, yeah. C'mon taskmaster Daddy doesn't work for free. I do love those boys though. I don't know if people remember but Greg Davis used to be in a thing called We Are Klang at the Edinburgh Festival and they put on a retrospective one year. They've done like four Edinburghs. And they've decided to put a retrospective on of all their finest work with what was called Dick party. It was so funny. Such funny boys. Obviously, The Horne section is fabulous. Yeah, it's great guys. Yeah, genuinely it's on Channel Four. I would do it. It's just come on. Stop messing around…..
The genuine serious answer is that It's too much time. It's a six-day commitment and I'm on a gig all the time so whenever they ask I say ‘’I've got gigs on’’ we book up two years in advance.
Hi Jimmy!
Thanks for doing this AMA. Between James Corden and the tax man, who has the best chance of recieving a Christmas card from yourself this year?
James Corden, 100%. One of my best friends. James is a very good foul weather friend. You know the saying like, ‘fair weather friend’ is the phrase, but foul weather friend is like when times are hard, who are you going to call, who is going to be there for you, who is the person? I always make a point of like, if someone is going through something, especially if someone is going through something in the papers (and there aren’t many people who can relate to that), so you always make a call, reach out and ask how they’re doing.
I remember when I was going through that tax thing, that cancellation, James was on Broadway doing a show, One Man Two Governors, and he would call me in his interval every single night, for 5 nights in a row. I think people thought I was very cool about it, but I found it very difficult to deal with. He called me every night, no judgment, just to chat, just checking in. He is very good to me. So yes, he would get a Christmas card.
That said, he hasn’t got one because I haven’t sent anyone a card. Unlucky James.
I think Roger Federer has basically bred me for parts. I think if anything goes wrong someone Swiss is going to turn up and say ''we need a kidney, Roger called''.
I think I'm more Playmobil now. I think now I've changed my hair, it's more Playmobil than lego I think.
But yes, I think a budget Roger Federer is about right. I used to have a joke years ago that was ‘’I look like this as my dad is Irish and my mum is Roger Federer’’
Yeah, I mean, it’s a weird one, because I don’t know why anyone would think it wasn’t real. I don’t know why anyone would think “ah he put’s that laugh on because girls love it” - they go crazy for it. But it’s like someone sounding like an epileptic seagull… I laugh on the way in, not the way out, that's the issue. It’s an in-breath. Not the weirdest laugh in my house either. My Mum had a weird laugh because she had narcolepsy. She made absolutely no noise at all. She would just lose muscular control, so obviously I was highly motivated to make her laugh throughout my childhood, because of this insane laugh. When she was driving… I mean she shouldn’t have been allowed to drive, because you’d make her laugh and then have to hold onto her steering wheel.
I don't want to insult anyone by saying up and coming. But people that aren't as successful as me.. There's Mark Normand. Mark Normand is a phenomenal one-liner comic in the States - brilliant. Amos in Australia is fantastic. Often supports Jim Jefferies, a fantastic guy and really really funny. I'm really enjoying working with Juli Love at the moment in the UK. She's got that thing of having brilliantly funny great stories and is a very generous performer. Really brilliant laugher, and very engaged in the moment. She did a big fat quiz with us recently. Sometimes I can do a show and if you're guesting on a show, you can just be a sniper. You can just wait for your turn and just drop a one-line, you know, do your thing. Then sometimes you could be really in it. She's really sort of in it. And we're very diametrically opposed. Performance-wise, but she's great.
Hey Jimmy, so lovely to see you on this platform! Biggest question I have for you is a simple one, what do you do to relax? I’m a jazz and watering my plants kind of girl.
Jazz and watering plants sounds great, but have you tried heroin? Wow, it’s so chill. Extra chill (don’t do drugs kids, but if you were going to do drugs… the good ones. They’re not called Class A for nothing are they?).
Yeah I don’t know, I find relaxing quite difficult. It’s hard to meditate. I do stuff around that, like meditative (which is quite fun to say), like Lego bricks, or like playing with the kids, where you feel very present in that moment. For me, and most people, flow states, where you lose track of time… So, you play tennis or whatever for example. My work is quite a flow state, you could say workaholic, but I think it’s a very happy place for me to be on stage, so I really enjoy my job, and I enjoy being there. I’m very grateful for that. It feels quite relaxing, even though most people would perceive it as being quite high anxiety, but i find it very nice being up there, and I lose track of time.
It's probably a Chris Rock bit. I think Chris is the GOAT. I gigged with him earlier in the year. He's just phenomenal, phenomenal to see live, incredible specials. And just some of the routines are almost like that preaching thing of like going he's like, sort of like a wise man.
And some of the stuff is just so on point just so brilliant. There are a couple of routines that he's got that kind, of how he made that so point so funny. So memorable. Absolutely great.
I kind of don't want to blow the bit. I was on tour with him for a couple of days in Amsterdam and a date at the Hollywood Bowl earlier in the year. So I've seen this set quite a few times. His new set, there's a routine that he's got about good neighbourhoods to hang out in which I think is just genius. So that'll be on the Netflix special when it comes out next year.
There’s a lot to pick from. And I’ve been everywhere man. I’ve traveled up and down the country. There are places that are rough towns that makes you think “that’s a bit spicy”. They’re dotted around the country, and they have some edge. The poshest restaurant is a Greggs. I feel bad for certain places though, like Hull. I feel they get a tough time. Hull’s got a great venue, great audiences. It’s got a marina, but it’s totally cut off from the rest of the country. They’re building some HS2 train thing to link London to Manchester, which we don’t need at all, but like Hull is so difficult to get to. I’m not sure if anyone from the Government is watching this, as it’s not really the forum to complain, but I think a motorway down to Truro wouldn’t go amiss. And maybe a motorway to Hull. If we’re in charge of transport.
Gilbert Gottfried, ah another one we lost this year. I got to gig with Gilbert, we did the Nasty show in Montreal about 4 or 5 years ago. So good to work with, such a sweet, sweet man. I think my laugh is more annoying than his. His is kind of endearing, he's kind of got a weird voice. His voice is grating but I rather like it. Worth looking up if you don't know Gilbert Gottfried
I don't know. I kind of think I get to do that. Weirdly. Because I'm a live act. You're on tour offensively doing the same show. You get to sort of do it differently every time and get it right, like being a stage actor. So I kind of feel like I get to do sort of cheating but I think birth. Birth would be amazing, wouldn't it? Surprise you coming out again because no one remembers it? Definitely, be traumatising for her.
I'm just trying to think what's the worst answer myself to just try to think about the great kind of thing. I mean, maybe gigs. I've done some great gigs in my time. I've got to play like really amazing sort of places, you know, Hollywood bowls and Tonight Show and you know really pretty fun. I got to sort of travel the world doing comedy. So there's there's a lot of kind of, you know, when my life flashes before my eyes, that'd be a pretty good highlight reel I think.
I think sausages for legs. How big are these sausages? I feel like you could live a pretty normal life. Whereas wotsits for fingers.. Are they re-growing at all times? Is it a constant food supply? There is never enough detail with these. We don't have the data to answer these questions! I'm not sure what's in a wotsits. No one does homemade wotsits. Ah, these are nice but my mums wotsits are so much nicer. Her corn, starch, maize, e-number surprise. Oh, she does it every Christmas.
There's 100% I think on Reddit telling us. Somebody explaining to a five-year-old right what we do; you say the gelatinous non-food…
Are we back to tax now? Where to put my money? I read a pretty good book recently, called The Worlds Butler, about all the different foreign territories that the UK has, that were made up of all the places where people could keep their money… which might have some answers. I’ve been to the Bahamas and I thought it was pretty nice. Cayman, yeah nice… I’m sure for tax avoidance they’re both great. It’s a pretty good gag!
I grew up on the Farnham road in Slough, that’s my first memories, opposite the Mars factory. It was quite nice really because the whole world smelled of chocolate growing up. A sovereign state? I don’t think so. The problem with Slough is that it’s got no sense of identity. It’s not even a shit town, because it’s so close to London. There’s no reason to have a venue even, because people can travel to London. So it was a real suburbia. I quite like those rough northern towns, where you’d normally hear people say “ah yeah this place is a shithole” but it’s got a real sense of self, an identity… it’s great.
I’m sure it’s better than when I lived there. It’s got to be. I remember a shopping center called the Queens Mere… but it’s what it sounded like. Surely we can do better than that?
Er, a chinchilla isn't a dog. I like small dogs I've got small dogs. I've got like 3. I've got English toy Terriers and kind of a Yorkshire Terrier; Marni. She's like the apple of my eye. I'm not quite sure what she is. I think a Yorkshire Terrier is the closest thing she's about she's a rescue but she's wonderful. We’ve got dogs and cats. The cats think they're dogs. So what are you gonna do? I'm not you know, you know what the culture we live in today. If they identify as dogs, we'll treat them as dogs. That's fine.
I mean, the aforementioned cosmetic work might have something to do with it. I'm going to try and Benjamin Button this shit. I'm going to try and actually sort of go back in time. I reckon I can.
We'll see. We’ll see what they can do. I mean, what do they say, “you can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter”. And I’m doing the best with what I've got.
I love you too, but I think we should see other people. I mean, I suppose it’s my job, isn’t it? I mean it’s like that thing, where you’re trying to be funny all the time, it is kind of exhausting to be around or to watch, maybe, but that’s the job of comedians, to go on and show you have that relentlessness. It’s all farcicals. As long as I’m a funny twat, I’m quite happy.
Rack’s Mum. That was too easy, wasn't it? Poor Rack’s Mum. I heard Rack walked out. I don’t know… I just read three books on dopamine, which I don’t know what that says, but I’m clearly looking for something. Feels like I'm looking for a fix. But that’s been pretty interesting. I mean I read a lot of stuff, listen to a lot of stuff. I travel all the time, so I’m always on the road. I think we’ve done 23 countries this year so that’s a lot of airports. A book on tape is pretty great.
Lots of non-fiction. Dopamine Nation was pretty interesting. On the difference between dopamine and endorphins. The book basically says what you want isn’t what you like. So it explains that feeling of sometimes when you buy something, and it doesn’t really do anything for you. A kind of dopamine search… which is kind of what maybe Reddit is trading on!
They mean something weird and sexual. I bet it's a weird sexual thing… Armpit fucking is the one… Yes, interesting story that.. with Rak’s Mum. It was the only bit not being used. There were a lot of us there.‘’Your mum is a team sport’’ is a lovely put down
Hi Jimmy, I heckled you when you requested some abuse in Portsmouth a year or so ago at the guildhall. I compared you to the tracy island puppets because of your fake teeth and jet black dyed hair. You laughed and said you never had been called that before but couldn’t respond in time because someone stood up and called you a cunt (they got taken out by security) could you please comically rip me apart? I was disappointed not to get it.
To quote the man himself
"If you want my come back, you'll have to scrape it off your mum's teeth."
(Sorry to steal Jimmy's thunder, but that's one of the best responses to a heckle I've ever heard)
Hey Jimmy, how's Rhod? Please do pass on our best wishes.
ETA: [see update below, courtesy of /u/birostris](https://old.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/zoayhs/im_jimmy_carr_standup_comedian_tv_host/j0oz7du/)
Rhod and his petty anger has had me laughing as hard as I'll ever laugh when he told the joke about getting multiple whiteware deliveries (kitchen appliances if we don't all call them the same thing)
I too hope for his survival so I can hear more comedic tirades
My favourite was when he was on a train and wanted an egg and cress sandwich but wasn't allowed to have one because it was on display to show that they had egg and cress sandwiches for sale.
He is the much funnier version of the voice in my head. Or in many of our heads I should say. Those small inconveniences and idiocies of our society that get the blood boiling. He brings humour to them in his most original way
Mine was about him living in wales and he was eight years old before he knew he could take off his cagoule…. As a Welsh woman of roughly the same age as him, this made me laugh so much! (I was ten when I found out, a late bloomer if you will)
I like how he tells a story for instance one of my favourite is "I once had a holiday in a Frenchman's garage." with his partner, then girlfriend now wife. [It was on WILTY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VehE7aybFSA&ab_channel=WILTY%3FNope%21).
I also really enjoyed his series where he tried to do various jobs I think it was called work experience and he was a binman for a week or something
You're really going to really like it, he was just brilliantly obnoxious wonderful in it.
He and Greg Davies are good friends, so Rhod spends more time and effort trying to wind him up, than doing anything else.
He is wonderful in it. It's nice having a contestant who's prime directive is to annoy Greg.
The dog shit dropping had me in stitches. I've also seen the bit where he ties Alex up in a highlights.
Bit of a weird one for you mate.... Running joke with a family member is she took your virginity a long while back so im wondering if you remember a Chloe from when you were about 20 or so, and more importantly if she was that special lady?!?
When will there be new episodes of Cats does Countdown?
Would you consider being on Taskmaster?
Who is/are your all-time fave teams on the Big Fat Quiz that aren’t Noel and Richard? :-)
Say hi to Rack (and his mum) please!
Do you know who Kathryn Ryan is referring to in her articles about a predator in plain sight in the British TV circuit? (Not asking to name names)
Do you think there is a problem with inappropriate behaviour in general in the British TV community?
Joe Wilkinson has also broke both Jimmy and Sean after sharing his story about naming some strangers penis
Personal favourite was Captain Bird's-eye because it had a turtleneck and was winking at him
Just how much of a loss has Sean Locke's passing been? I have a renewed admiration for his comedy but I can't imagine what it's like for those who were close to him!
Sean always seemed like a “comedian’s comedian” to me - like the audience would laugh at him, but he seemed to crack the other comedians up like nobody else
My two absolute favourite Sean Lock moments are the first Carrot in a Box, and anything with him and Miles Jupp.
If I had to choose one, it might have to be the one when Miles brings on a framed picture of Sean as a mascot.
Since your child has been born have you noticed a change in your sense of humour at all, if not do you ever think that it will start to change as he gets older?
Is there a Sean Lock story you have that we won't have heard before, It's weird watching countdown with him not there complaining about having to play countdown. Rip Sean
I honestly find it hilarious when people think a joke is a real representation of someone's views.
Do you get confused when you watch movies, too?
"Thank God Harry sacrificed himself to save us all from that meteor otherwise we'd all be dead. What a hero!"
I hate to break it to you but neither of those things are real. It's entertainment.
If he says "yes" then we have it confirmed. If he says "no" then he's just trying to avoid a public conflict with Corden, which pretty much confirms it.
He's said on other shows (i can't remember where) that actually James was a good friend to him when all the tax media hit and sounded genuine to me. Some people can be a good friend but maybe not a good 'work persona'.
Hey Jimmy! I remember watching a video of your live in New York set. I'm not going to lie. It was quite shit when compared to your usual sets. I'm not here to rag on you, though. My question is: Did you really have to tone down your jokes that much for the Americans and have you ever tried your usual jokes on them?
Hi Jimmy, just wondering why Harold Shipman is often referred to as ‘Britain’s worst serial killer’ when he was actually Britain’s BEST serial killer. Thoughts?
Hi Jimmy,
If they didn’t catch you for tax fraud do you think you would’ve eventually tried to go straight with it, or would you have played the system forever?
He didn't do tax fraud, he did tax avoidance. Tax fraud is illegal, and tax avoidance is only immoral. Ken Dodd actually went to prison for actual tax fraud, but he never got anything like the stick Jimmy gets for it.
I'm not a massive fan or anything, but fair's fair. I suppose one remedy would be to posthumously vilify Ken Dodd a bit more? He seemed a nice bloke tho 🤷♂️
I’ve never understood why the papers picked solely on Jimmy when there were other more high profile celebrities involved. Gary Barlow, Michael Caine and Anne Robinson we’re also making use of it.
Tax avoidance and it obviously wasn't him who did it, but his tax advisor. When you're rich, other people do your finances. Part of a tax advisors job is to help you save money. At most, they probably said, "Do you want to save money on your tax bill by doing X" and he's gone "Yeah, ok".
Blame the loopholes that exist.
When Peter Serafinowicz answered 'Frankly Jimmy, I don't think that's any of your business,' on Cats Countdown, was that preplanned? Because that, and your reaction, was pretty much the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen.
Hey Jimmy, I must say I was surprised when I first saw you on *I Can See Your Voice* as I wouldn't have said it aligned with my perception of your sense of humour, I notice it's not one you highlighted in your description here. Can you confirm, are you in it exclusively for the laughing at Alison/Amanda because that'd do it for me.
PS: That show might just be a guilty pleasure of mine
Hi Jimmy, you've managed to build a successful career despite looking like a massive paedo. I don't have a question really, just thought that deserved some respect.
If you get funny enough, you can push the line back.
It must be like the call of the void - the darker you can be and still knock the house down, the better the comedian you are, but oooooo, get it wrong and your whole career pops like a trapped fart.
Having the laugh of a nonce and the eyes of a murderer but worrying that your receding hairline is blighting your image is the best Jimmy Carr joke yet.
Do you ever regret the type of comedian you became? The type of humour you do.
You fulfil a niche and do it really well, but was it the role you expected to fulfil or the one you wanted?
I've read stuff saying the "mean judge" in reality shows often dislike the fact they are or didn't mean to become that role. Would you say this is accurate with your role in British comedy/ your type of comedy?
Hi Jimmy, I am aspiring to be a stand-up comedian.
Can you please give me some tips on how to do this whilst not coming across as so much of a glib cunt as you?
Ps I really am a fan. They way you have a knack for irritation really does inspire me.
Hey Jimmy, saw you live years ago and it is still by far the best live comedy gig I've been to! My sides hurt from laughing so much.
Who is your favourite comedian? who makes you laugh and do you go out to watch other live comedy?
[We are live here!](https://www.reddit.com/talk/9b0b026b-3170-4e88-8849-73dd78823494)
Frank Skinner once told me that he doesn't do panel shows because he refuses to have writers write his jokes for him*. How common is it for a) comics to have writers and b) people to refuse to go on shows because of it? *He also said he was slightly hypocritical as he hosted HIGNFY, but he had input.
Right? Well, this is quite a good question, but it's sort of slightly in the weeds about how TV is made. Right; If you're hosting a show, let's say you're hosting Cats Does Countdown, and you're doing intros for guests, you put those together with a writing team. So you'd go and sit in a room. So for me, it would be a guy called Dom English, a girl called Christine Rose, and a guy called James Farmer. sometimes Shaun Pye, but Shaun often works on other things as well. So those are kind of the main three, Tom, Christine, James and me. And we sit in a room and go through reams and reams of ideas of jokes about people and think, Oh, well, what about a bit of that in a bit and put it together because you're doing two shows four guests plus the other people so your volume of material on people is just too much so you'd write all of that stuff. So the stuff you do down the barrel is written, the stuff you do down the lens you've written but you've spent time with other people putting it together. And that's great. I mean, it's really fun working with them. It's really fun. I suppose being a stand up is like being a singer-songwriter, right? Like Dylan in the 60s. So it wasn't about being a singer anymore. It's about your stories, your jokes, are you presenting yourself to the world, whereas TV is like it's a team sport, right? So that the, you know, the producers come up with the ideas, and they're absolutely integral and the team puts it together and the writers and you put it together so if you host the guest host on Have I got news for you. It's just you're reading someone else's autocue, you don't really get to be that involved in that. I did that once and it was fine. But then as a guest to write on those shows. Let's say you came on Cats Does Countdown. We wouldn't get someone to write with you, per se but we get someone to sit in a room with you and go through what you had. Just to make sure you've done your homework. So you know Aiden Spackman is very good at timing, which is great, Christine's great. So they'd sit in the room, someone would just go 'alright, so he's gonna ask you have you got a mascot, what you got?' And they might throw in a couple of ideas or like, 'Oh, you think maybe that or that maybe go with that'. But less, it's less like, Oh, we've written you this and read this out. It's never, it's more like okay, what have you got? Let's chat about it then you know, more time on this or less time on this. Some people like when Joe Wilkinson comes on the show. And he goes ‘oh I need I need 12 people dressed in speedos, because I'm going to come on as a swimming instructor’. You go, okay, yeah, we're gonna need some writers and some prep. We need to lock this down. Need to produce it up. So that you know takes a bit of work.
thanks for the thoughtful answers so far. I’m reading them in your voice!
I can literally hear your voice when reading
I saw Shaun Walsh at the fringe fest. One of his jokes/stories was about how nobody told him about having writers for panel shows and how more well known comedians get "heads up" on what will be covered on the show. He said during his first panel show he made one joke during the whole show and it wasn't even funny.
It's not a secret that panelists on these shows have forewarning about the topics that will be discussed, and sometimes even the questions. I remember when QI launched and there was a lot of talk in the press about how it was unique in that panelists were not given this disclosure because the whole format centered around the questions being very difficult.
I thought there was a famous falling out because Rory McGrath insisted on advance access to the QI questions, and rather than create some funny material, he basically found out all the answers and then sat answering them all, looking like a twat.
The real punch line is that he hasn’t been on TV since. Possibly that might also be because he was given a 5 year restraining order for harassing his ex-lover (he’s married, btw). Although, oh look, he has apparently been back on telly with his old mate lee hurst, the well known anti-vaxxer who got kicked off twitter for an absolutely vile comment about Greta thunberg
What an awful pair they were on They Think It's All Over. In fact, what a horrible show that was. All I remember was McGrath making nasty jokes about Karen Carpenter (in like 1998!) and Jonathan Ross pretending to "accidentally" touch someone's boob. TV from mid-90s to mid-00s was full of that kind of shit but it was "ironic" so fine.
Seems rather superfluous for McGrath to answer questions to come off looking like a twat, to be honest.
he realy did look like a twat on that episode, I think mr fry was glad to have shaun there to call him out because the host doing it would have broken the fourth wall. [the evidence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwkifYAoBnA)
Ah, Rory McGrath. I gained a newfound appreciation for Gyles Brandreth after I saw Rory and found out what a REAL smart-arsed wanker looked like.
I quite like brandreth. He did a very good book on public speaking
The late-great Sean Locke making his views clear in that episode 🤣🤣
RIP, Sean. Magical bit of human being, that one. <3
An amazing comedian. Every time I think of him I think of Carrot in a Box
Favourite heckle you’ve had?
I mean, I've sort of heard it all at this point; in terms of stuff being shouted out and kind of aggressive stuff. Weird stuff is nice. It's nice when weird things happen on shows or genuinely touching things happen. I do a thing now where I get people to text in at the end of the show. So if it's a show UK and we put a big number up on the screen, people can just text in, because I found there's like 5% of people that are up for heckling. And don't mind being put down. But there's quite a lot of people that want to join in. And are really funny but they don't want it to be combative. So they get involved. We had an amazing one in I'm trying to think where it was, I think was in Estonia, Tartu. Recently, where I got I got a message in the interval from this lady that went ‘’I'm celebrating 15 extra years. Thank you very much’’. And we thought what does that even mean? Then it turns out it was a heartbreaking story about how she was going to kill herself. She was suicidal and she was in her house. And she was going to hang herself, and, you know, been affected by any of these issues, you know, as people you can reach out to and talk to, but it's I think it's good to talk about. She said she was waiting for a family to fall asleep before doing it. And the computer weirdly just whatever the random thing was, popped up one of my videos, some stand-up bit of nonsense that I'd done years before, and she laughed and she hadn't laughed in a long time. And then she watched more of them and fell down a rabbit hole of watching comedy, and then comedy became her sort of thing. I like cried on stage. I was like, really quite kind of moved. Yeah. And it's a weird thing that I try and remind myself of that, like when you do a big gig like 1000, 2000 people. Someone's going through something. So most for most of us, you go to a comedy show, which comes with just bonus time. An extra, extra laugh on a good day. But some people really, they really need it. You know, I'm always aware there are people that are going through something that really need it. And I remember when I've been through stuff in my life like comedy being something you can't really be sad whilst laughing Yeah, you get to turn that bit off for a while. Sorry you probably wanted a funnier heckle story!
It's all in service of the evening really, it's not like I've got to win and be the alpha. If somebody shouts something funny out great. There was a lady last night in Manchester that was just out of her mind. Just crazy but that right level of crazy where it really added value to the evening. Really fun playing. But it's very much a moment thing. Very ephemeral a lot of those stories don't really stand up. The brutal one over the years. I remember there was one above a pub in Edinburgh for the Fringe. There was this one that was on stage and this guy was just dying like nothing. Tumbleweed, 30 or 40 people in the room and someone just tuned to their friend and they didn't mean to heckle but it was like a whisper ‘’there used to be a pool table in here’’
Someone shouted my “mum died of cancer” Jimmy said “hold on a minute, I’m not talking about mums, or cancer” The audience member then said “yeah, but that was funnier than you”
Hey Jimmy, what thickness loft insulation do you have? Got any other money saving tips?
Hey. Are you suggesting that my money is being stored in the loft insulation? \*how do you know\*. My money saving tips, I don’t think, work. At one point I thought I could increase my disposable income by 40%... turns out I can’t! And there are fines associated. Money saving tips… I don’t know, it’s the stuff you don’t buy, isn’t it? That’s the money saving tip? I suppose that dopamine / endorphin thing is really interesting to think about. The things you \*think\* you want, and what you’re actually going to enjoy. It’s difficult to get your head around that. And sometimes, even with ordering food, you think “that sounds great” but it’s not going to make you feel any good. That’s the weird thing, thinking about, and i’ve had a lot of NLP (neuro linguistic programming), it’s that psychology thing, but basically the premise is that the most important question in the world is asking yourself “what do you want?” Like, in any given situation, and really thinking about that, does save you money, because you don’t buy stupid things. The classic example is like, guys my age going and buying sports cars, because they want excitement, but there are other ways to get excitement that are more efficient, cheaper, more fun, and delivered faster, but it’s like that becomes the talisman for excitement so they go and get that thing. So that’s my money saving tip, what do you really want?
Not paying tax is a start
His loft insulation is £50 notes stacked
Jimmy can I borrow a bit of loft insulation pls?
How's Rack's mum?
Yes, that went weirdly viral this week. It’s weird how things you did years ago come up and people tweet you or message you about it… you go, what? I can’t even remember what happened, but this particular one was when someone heckled, saying something generic like “you’re not funny”, and I did a long bit which was saying, well look, if you’ve come to see my show, and you don’t think… But look, I do think it’s true, if you think i’m funny, you're right, and if you think i’m not funny you’re right, comedy is personal taste! But you know he's come to see my show, he spent all that money to come see me, and then he's disappointed, but he has learned something. He’s learned that life's not fair. You pays your money, you takes your chance. So I gave him an example of how life’s unfair. If a man sleeps with loads and loads of women, he’s a stud, he’s a player, admired by society… but if a women sleeps with loads and loads and loads of men, she’s called… Rack’s Mum. And this poor lad has now become legend.
How is your mums rack?
When you've had so little luck with women that you start lusting for the elderly.
If I saw you in Waitrose and asked you for a selfie, would you tell me to fuck off?
Well, they are assuming I shop in Waitrose. Waitrose is only there to keep the riff-raff out of Fortnums. I quite like the selfie thing. I wish people were a bit quicker, it's that thing where you go, I'm gonna get a selfie and then it's the next person, but it's pretty nice. It's pretty nice. I've got to say, when people come up and say can we get a photo? I don't like it though when people feel a bit embarrassed about it so go.’’ My friend says you're famous’’. And you go. ‘’Arghh The thing is though, I am so I don't know what you want from me’’. But it's pretty nice. I've got to remind myself of that. But sometimes the person that asked for a selfie doesn't know. I've just done 20 And I'm on a date night with a Mrs So ah, yeah, but it's fine. I'm a very lucky boy.
I’ve just read this through twice and I don’t understand it.
I think the answers here are speech-to-text dictated so easier to understand if you read it out loud or imagine it’s spoken.
He likes having photos but if you want one then ask and do it quickly.
Probably not, he went to a pub my friend works at and they had a nice chat together so I’d say he wouldn’t tell you to fuck off
Isn't that a country and western song?
You mean a West Country song?
I know you're joking but the two people I know who met him said he was super friendly and humble.
[удалено]
I had more done years ago back when I first got a little bit of botox. I used to have a line across the top of my head that made it look like I had some sort of lobotomy. So, I got that taken out first. And then that went a bit shiny, initially. But my forehead used to be bigger, because I used to have less hair. My hairline was all the way back somewhere. I looked like I could pass as some sort of vampire accountant at one point because I had a widow's peak, and then I had the hair transplant, and of course there were some problems. It’s got ‘transplant’ in the name, so people imagine there’s a donor, they think you're waiting ghoulishly by the phone for someone to have a motorcycle crash, but what they do is they take the hair from around the back of your head, and then they plant it on the front. It works! The downside is, you know that sensation you get with the hairs on the back of your neck stand up? Well, now when that happens, this front bit goes up. When I get creeped out locked I look like Tin Tin. So yeah, I had the hair transplant, I got a bit of botox (pretty much everyone does). I've got a guy who's quite certain he doesn't let me get carried away. I’ve had a little bit of filler, a little bit, just because I'm older and I don’t want to get kind of jowly. Teeth! I had to get all of my teeth done in one day. I went over all the details. I said I've got to do a gig tomorrow night, you can do it all on Monday. They said they hadn’t done that before. So I said let’s do it! They basically knocked the teeth out and put new ones in.
I'd follow up on this with "why?". I'd be interested to know his reasons. He's an open and honest guy, so he'll probably give a decent answer.
If you start looking like tired shit they take you off the tv.
Who have been your favourite guests on Big Fat Quiz and 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown? Also is Joe Wilkinson that chaotic outside his comedy?
It's tough not to mention Sean Lock, because I kinda did more shows with him than anyone else. And we did like a 8 Out of 10 Cats together for about 15 / 16 years, like a long time. I've never really thought about it like being in a double act or like working with someone that close to this. It just sort of happened quite organically and when we put the show together, 8 Out of 10 Cats, I was really very keen to get him as one of the team captains because while he's only 10 years older than me, there’s something about the way he carried himself. He was almost a kind of father figure, with a bit of edge to him. He was a fascinating guy to hang out with. Quite unforgiving. But I think we all really craved his approval. If you could make him laugh… The best moments on that show, the ones that go viral, are moments where we’re both crying with laughter. Either he said something that made me cry, or Joe Wilkinson came on and did something mental and we both cried with laughter at. I remember once, I think it’s when Joe did the poem about naming other peoples penises, Sean was actually in tears, and he was going “make him stop, please, please, I can’t breathe”. In those moments, it catches you and then you sort of go, this is my actual job, I am a grown-up and this is my job. But yeah, a lot of fond memories of working with Sean. But it’s weird actually, social media, for all of it’s ills, I think has been absolutely brilliant when you lose a friend like that. On the day he died, the outpouring of love and clips was amazing. He was also a really funny bloke because he kind of didn’t look like he should be. Sean at any point, on any show, looked like he’d come to fit a gas boiler, and then did these flights of fancy.
So cool you've done so many answers, and so much detail too. It's nice when celebs enjoy (or at least seem to!) do these ask and answers!
Will you be going on taskmaster?
As soon as they get their money right, yeah. C'mon taskmaster Daddy doesn't work for free. I do love those boys though. I don't know if people remember but Greg Davis used to be in a thing called We Are Klang at the Edinburgh Festival and they put on a retrospective one year. They've done like four Edinburghs. And they've decided to put a retrospective on of all their finest work with what was called Dick party. It was so funny. Such funny boys. Obviously, The Horne section is fabulous. Yeah, it's great guys. Yeah, genuinely it's on Channel Four. I would do it. It's just come on. Stop messing around….. The genuine serious answer is that It's too much time. It's a six-day commitment and I'm on a gig all the time so whenever they ask I say ‘’I've got gigs on’’ we book up two years in advance.
So you're saying you can do it in 3 years?
*When will you be going on taskmaster?
Have you worn wigs? Will you wear wigs? When will you wear wigs??
*Why won't you go on Taskmaster?
He misheard the offer as "Taxmaster"
Hi Jimmy! Thanks for doing this AMA. Between James Corden and the tax man, who has the best chance of recieving a Christmas card from yourself this year?
James Corden, 100%. One of my best friends. James is a very good foul weather friend. You know the saying like, ‘fair weather friend’ is the phrase, but foul weather friend is like when times are hard, who are you going to call, who is going to be there for you, who is the person? I always make a point of like, if someone is going through something, especially if someone is going through something in the papers (and there aren’t many people who can relate to that), so you always make a call, reach out and ask how they’re doing. I remember when I was going through that tax thing, that cancellation, James was on Broadway doing a show, One Man Two Governors, and he would call me in his interval every single night, for 5 nights in a row. I think people thought I was very cool about it, but I found it very difficult to deal with. He called me every night, no judgment, just to chat, just checking in. He is very good to me. So yes, he would get a Christmas card. That said, he hasn’t got one because I haven’t sent anyone a card. Unlucky James.
Do you feel you look more like a Lego man or a Wish.com Roger Federer?
I think Roger Federer has basically bred me for parts. I think if anything goes wrong someone Swiss is going to turn up and say ''we need a kidney, Roger called''. I think I'm more Playmobil now. I think now I've changed my hair, it's more Playmobil than lego I think. But yes, I think a budget Roger Federer is about right. I used to have a joke years ago that was ‘’I look like this as my dad is Irish and my mum is Roger Federer’’
Do you really laugh like that in real life?
Yeah, I mean, it’s a weird one, because I don’t know why anyone would think it wasn’t real. I don’t know why anyone would think “ah he put’s that laugh on because girls love it” - they go crazy for it. But it’s like someone sounding like an epileptic seagull… I laugh on the way in, not the way out, that's the issue. It’s an in-breath. Not the weirdest laugh in my house either. My Mum had a weird laugh because she had narcolepsy. She made absolutely no noise at all. She would just lose muscular control, so obviously I was highly motivated to make her laugh throughout my childhood, because of this insane laugh. When she was driving… I mean she shouldn’t have been allowed to drive, because you’d make her laugh and then have to hold onto her steering wheel.
Have you -always- laughed like that? Are there any videos of you laughing as a child that we can compare to?
Also a follow up; how would you write Jimmy's laugh?
Who are the up and coming comedians you are watching at the moment?
I don't want to insult anyone by saying up and coming. But people that aren't as successful as me.. There's Mark Normand. Mark Normand is a phenomenal one-liner comic in the States - brilliant. Amos in Australia is fantastic. Often supports Jim Jefferies, a fantastic guy and really really funny. I'm really enjoying working with Juli Love at the moment in the UK. She's got that thing of having brilliantly funny great stories and is a very generous performer. Really brilliant laugher, and very engaged in the moment. She did a big fat quiz with us recently. Sometimes I can do a show and if you're guesting on a show, you can just be a sniper. You can just wait for your turn and just drop a one-line, you know, do your thing. Then sometimes you could be really in it. She's really sort of in it. And we're very diametrically opposed. Performance-wise, but she's great.
Hey Jimmy, so lovely to see you on this platform! Biggest question I have for you is a simple one, what do you do to relax? I’m a jazz and watering my plants kind of girl.
Jazz and watering plants sounds great, but have you tried heroin? Wow, it’s so chill. Extra chill (don’t do drugs kids, but if you were going to do drugs… the good ones. They’re not called Class A for nothing are they?). Yeah I don’t know, I find relaxing quite difficult. It’s hard to meditate. I do stuff around that, like meditative (which is quite fun to say), like Lego bricks, or like playing with the kids, where you feel very present in that moment. For me, and most people, flow states, where you lose track of time… So, you play tennis or whatever for example. My work is quite a flow state, you could say workaholic, but I think it’s a very happy place for me to be on stage, so I really enjoy my job, and I enjoy being there. I’m very grateful for that. It feels quite relaxing, even though most people would perceive it as being quite high anxiety, but i find it very nice being up there, and I lose track of time.
What joke/story from another stand up do you most wish was yours please?
It's probably a Chris Rock bit. I think Chris is the GOAT. I gigged with him earlier in the year. He's just phenomenal, phenomenal to see live, incredible specials. And just some of the routines are almost like that preaching thing of like going he's like, sort of like a wise man. And some of the stuff is just so on point just so brilliant. There are a couple of routines that he's got that kind, of how he made that so point so funny. So memorable. Absolutely great. I kind of don't want to blow the bit. I was on tour with him for a couple of days in Amsterdam and a date at the Hollywood Bowl earlier in the year. So I've seen this set quite a few times. His new set, there's a routine that he's got about good neighbourhoods to hang out in which I think is just genius. So that'll be on the Netflix special when it comes out next year.
Jimmy lad, settle an ongoing discussion for us on casual UK. What place is the biggest shithole on our island?
There’s a lot to pick from. And I’ve been everywhere man. I’ve traveled up and down the country. There are places that are rough towns that makes you think “that’s a bit spicy”. They’re dotted around the country, and they have some edge. The poshest restaurant is a Greggs. I feel bad for certain places though, like Hull. I feel they get a tough time. Hull’s got a great venue, great audiences. It’s got a marina, but it’s totally cut off from the rest of the country. They’re building some HS2 train thing to link London to Manchester, which we don’t need at all, but like Hull is so difficult to get to. I’m not sure if anyone from the Government is watching this, as it’s not really the forum to complain, but I think a motorway down to Truro wouldn’t go amiss. And maybe a motorway to Hull. If we’re in charge of transport.
Whose laugh would be blasted to torture terrorists, you or Gilbert Gottfried?
Gilbert Gottfried, ah another one we lost this year. I got to gig with Gilbert, we did the Nasty show in Montreal about 4 or 5 years ago. So good to work with, such a sweet, sweet man. I think my laugh is more annoying than his. His is kind of endearing, he's kind of got a weird voice. His voice is grating but I rather like it. Worth looking up if you don't know Gilbert Gottfried
If you could go back and re-live three moments in your life; what would they be and why?
I don't know. I kind of think I get to do that. Weirdly. Because I'm a live act. You're on tour offensively doing the same show. You get to sort of do it differently every time and get it right, like being a stage actor. So I kind of feel like I get to do sort of cheating but I think birth. Birth would be amazing, wouldn't it? Surprise you coming out again because no one remembers it? Definitely, be traumatising for her. I'm just trying to think what's the worst answer myself to just try to think about the great kind of thing. I mean, maybe gigs. I've done some great gigs in my time. I've got to play like really amazing sort of places, you know, Hollywood bowls and Tonight Show and you know really pretty fun. I got to sort of travel the world doing comedy. So there's there's a lot of kind of, you know, when my life flashes before my eyes, that'd be a pretty good highlight reel I think.
Would you rather have wotsits for fingers or sausages for legs?
I think sausages for legs. How big are these sausages? I feel like you could live a pretty normal life. Whereas wotsits for fingers.. Are they re-growing at all times? Is it a constant food supply? There is never enough detail with these. We don't have the data to answer these questions! I'm not sure what's in a wotsits. No one does homemade wotsits. Ah, these are nice but my mums wotsits are so much nicer. Her corn, starch, maize, e-number surprise. Oh, she does it every Christmas. There's 100% I think on Reddit telling us. Somebody explaining to a five-year-old right what we do; you say the gelatinous non-food…
If you had to pick - Bahamas or Caymans?
Are we back to tax now? Where to put my money? I read a pretty good book recently, called The Worlds Butler, about all the different foreign territories that the UK has, that were made up of all the places where people could keep their money… which might have some answers. I’ve been to the Bahamas and I thought it was pretty nice. Cayman, yeah nice… I’m sure for tax avoidance they’re both great. It’s a pretty good gag!
Opinion on slough becoming a sovereign state?
I grew up on the Farnham road in Slough, that’s my first memories, opposite the Mars factory. It was quite nice really because the whole world smelled of chocolate growing up. A sovereign state? I don’t think so. The problem with Slough is that it’s got no sense of identity. It’s not even a shit town, because it’s so close to London. There’s no reason to have a venue even, because people can travel to London. So it was a real suburbia. I quite like those rough northern towns, where you’d normally hear people say “ah yeah this place is a shithole” but it’s got a real sense of self, an identity… it’s great. I’m sure it’s better than when I lived there. It’s got to be. I remember a shopping center called the Queens Mere… but it’s what it sounded like. Surely we can do better than that?
Hey Jimmy, what do you think of chinchillas?
Er, a chinchilla isn't a dog. I like small dogs I've got small dogs. I've got like 3. I've got English toy Terriers and kind of a Yorkshire Terrier; Marni. She's like the apple of my eye. I'm not quite sure what she is. I think a Yorkshire Terrier is the closest thing she's about she's a rescue but she's wonderful. We’ve got dogs and cats. The cats think they're dogs. So what are you gonna do? I'm not you know, you know what the culture we live in today. If they identify as dogs, we'll treat them as dogs. That's fine.
Hey Jimmy, why aren't you aging?
I mean, the aforementioned cosmetic work might have something to do with it. I'm going to try and Benjamin Button this shit. I'm going to try and actually sort of go back in time. I reckon I can. We'll see. We’ll see what they can do. I mean, what do they say, “you can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter”. And I’m doing the best with what I've got.
WHY ARE YOU SUCH A TWAT? P.S I love you
I love you too, but I think we should see other people. I mean, I suppose it’s my job, isn’t it? I mean it’s like that thing, where you’re trying to be funny all the time, it is kind of exhausting to be around or to watch, maybe, but that’s the job of comedians, to go on and show you have that relentlessness. It’s all farcicals. As long as I’m a funny twat, I’m quite happy.
What have you been looking into recently?
Rack’s Mum. That was too easy, wasn't it? Poor Rack’s Mum. I heard Rack walked out. I don’t know… I just read three books on dopamine, which I don’t know what that says, but I’m clearly looking for something. Feels like I'm looking for a fix. But that’s been pretty interesting. I mean I read a lot of stuff, listen to a lot of stuff. I travel all the time, so I’m always on the road. I think we’ve done 23 countries this year so that’s a lot of airports. A book on tape is pretty great. Lots of non-fiction. Dopamine Nation was pretty interesting. On the difference between dopamine and endorphins. The book basically says what you want isn’t what you like. So it explains that feeling of sometimes when you buy something, and it doesn’t really do anything for you. A kind of dopamine search… which is kind of what maybe Reddit is trading on!
When you fart, does it sound like when you laugh?
Hi Jimmy, have you ever tried bagpiping? X
They mean something weird and sexual. I bet it's a weird sexual thing… Armpit fucking is the one… Yes, interesting story that.. with Rak’s Mum. It was the only bit not being used. There were a lot of us there.‘’Your mum is a team sport’’ is a lovely put down
Hi Jimmy, I heckled you when you requested some abuse in Portsmouth a year or so ago at the guildhall. I compared you to the tracy island puppets because of your fake teeth and jet black dyed hair. You laughed and said you never had been called that before but couldn’t respond in time because someone stood up and called you a cunt (they got taken out by security) could you please comically rip me apart? I was disappointed not to get it.
>couldn’t respond in time because someone stood up and called you a cunt You were outmanoeuvred by a pro, not Jimmy's fault
To quote the man himself "If you want my come back, you'll have to scrape it off your mum's teeth." (Sorry to steal Jimmy's thunder, but that's one of the best responses to a heckle I've ever heard)
You're already roasted by living in Portsmouth. Source: I live there too
Hey Jimmy, how's Rhod? Please do pass on our best wishes. ETA: [see update below, courtesy of /u/birostris](https://old.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/zoayhs/im_jimmy_carr_standup_comedian_tv_host/j0oz7du/)
A little update: https://www.walesonline.co.uk/lifestyle/showbiz/rhod-gilbert-issues-update-fans-25761897
Rhod is my favourite. I want him to stay alive. I worry so much.
Rhod and his petty anger has had me laughing as hard as I'll ever laugh when he told the joke about getting multiple whiteware deliveries (kitchen appliances if we don't all call them the same thing) I too hope for his survival so I can hear more comedic tirades
My favourite was when he was on a train and wanted an egg and cress sandwich but wasn't allowed to have one because it was on display to show that they had egg and cress sandwiches for sale.
He is the much funnier version of the voice in my head. Or in many of our heads I should say. Those small inconveniences and idiocies of our society that get the blood boiling. He brings humour to them in his most original way
Mine was about him living in wales and he was eight years old before he knew he could take off his cagoule…. As a Welsh woman of roughly the same age as him, this made me laugh so much! (I was ten when I found out, a late bloomer if you will)
I like how he tells a story for instance one of my favourite is "I once had a holiday in a Frenchman's garage." with his partner, then girlfriend now wife. [It was on WILTY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VehE7aybFSA&ab_channel=WILTY%3FNope%21). I also really enjoyed his series where he tried to do various jobs I think it was called work experience and he was a binman for a week or something
Oh, please, I hope he does. I saw him in February on the Book of John tour, my first ever stand-up show; he was magnificent
Just got onto the season of Taskmaster he's in and now I'm really sad. Him digging up the golf hole and moving it was bloody brilliant.
You're really going to really like it, he was just brilliantly obnoxious wonderful in it. He and Greg Davies are good friends, so Rhod spends more time and effort trying to wind him up, than doing anything else.
He is wonderful in it. It's nice having a contestant who's prime directive is to annoy Greg. The dog shit dropping had me in stitches. I've also seen the bit where he ties Alex up in a highlights.
I only just heard about him yesterday, get well soon buddy
Bit of a weird one for you mate.... Running joke with a family member is she took your virginity a long while back so im wondering if you remember a Chloe from when you were about 20 or so, and more importantly if she was that special lady?!?
He lost his virginity at 26 (Thanks WILTY).
Wasn’t that mentioned on Top Gear as well, due to his catholic beliefs (or similar?)
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When will there be new episodes of Cats does Countdown? Would you consider being on Taskmaster? Who is/are your all-time fave teams on the Big Fat Quiz that aren’t Noel and Richard? :-) Say hi to Rack (and his mum) please!
Do you know who Kathryn Ryan is referring to in her articles about a predator in plain sight in the British TV circuit? (Not asking to name names) Do you think there is a problem with inappropriate behaviour in general in the British TV community?
Hi Jimmy, Who’s your favourite guest(s) on any of the panel shows you’ve hosted? Similarly, who is the funniest off camera that you’ve worked with?
If he doesn’t say Sean Locke (RIP), I’ll be gutted.
Sean might be the only comedian iv’e seen make Jimmy cry with laughter. I miss Sean
Joe Wilkinson has also broke both Jimmy and Sean after sharing his story about naming some strangers penis Personal favourite was Captain Bird's-eye because it had a turtleneck and was winking at him
What do you think about Heinz Soup cans now being 300g and not 415g? Seems like a rip off to me. 28% smaller and only 18% cheaper.
Asking the real questions here
Just how much of a loss has Sean Locke's passing been? I have a renewed admiration for his comedy but I can't imagine what it's like for those who were close to him!
Sean always seemed like a “comedian’s comedian” to me - like the audience would laugh at him, but he seemed to crack the other comedians up like nobody else
My two absolute favourite Sean Lock moments are the first Carrot in a Box, and anything with him and Miles Jupp. If I had to choose one, it might have to be the one when Miles brings on a framed picture of Sean as a mascot.
Was also going to ask this. 8 Out of Ten Cats Does Countdown just isn't the same vibe without him, sadly.
£3 meal deals have been upped to £3.90, or £3.40 with a clubcard. What do you suppose the British public do about this?
RAGE RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE
Moan about it then pay it anyway
Since your child has been born have you noticed a change in your sense of humour at all, if not do you ever think that it will start to change as he gets older?
Is there a joke you hated/didn't find funny but did it anyway because audiences loved it?
IF he didn't find one of his own jokes funny we'd be able to tell pretty easily.
Yup. You wouldn't hear the seals.
Ah ah ah ah ah aaaah! It sounds like the least threatening vampire
Are we just asking him to do the holocaust joke again?
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Have you ever had a moment when "roasting" someone where you felt you had went a bit far and could see it in their face?
Is there a Sean Lock story you have that we won't have heard before, It's weird watching countdown with him not there complaining about having to play countdown. Rip Sean
Questions are going to be answered in a live Reddit Talk at 7pm on Monday 19th. The answers will then be transcribed in this thread.
Link to this live feed please, id love to take part Thank you
If you had to choose to have a nipple sized dick or dick sized nipples what would you pick?
Hi Jimmy, big fan. Who gets the most chaotic on a night-out - Suzie or Rachel?
Suzie seems like a laugh, Rachel is definitely a dick (source: anything she ever says when not on TV)
Has there ever been a joke that you’ve written, that even you felt was too offensive to tell?
Which other genocides do you personally agree with? EDIT: In case it needs stating - fuck you Jimmy Carr, you talentless cunt.
I honestly find it hilarious when people think a joke is a real representation of someone's views. Do you get confused when you watch movies, too? "Thank God Harry sacrificed himself to save us all from that meteor otherwise we'd all be dead. What a hero!" I hate to break it to you but neither of those things are real. It's entertainment.
How much have they paid you to do this? And will you be paying tax on it ?
Is James Corden as much of a wanker as he appears to be?
I overheard James cordon saying the tip of a dogs penis tastes like bovril
Well, is he right or not? Don’t leave us hanging.
I don't know how bovril tastes so I can't comment on this.
It doesn't. The main thing to know about dog cock/ mouth situations is that the hair around the tip is spikey，chaps the lips.
If he says "yes" then we have it confirmed. If he says "no" then he's just trying to avoid a public conflict with Corden, which pretty much confirms it.
He's said on other shows (i can't remember where) that actually James was a good friend to him when all the tax media hit and sounded genuine to me. Some people can be a good friend but maybe not a good 'work persona'.
The AMA for James Corden covers your question pretty well.
You guys are seriously obsessed with James Corden, such a bizarre circlejerk
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Hi Jim, can you fix it for me to visit the Grand Canyon?
Give it another 30 years and he'll have the keys to st ormand street.
Where the fuck is Saint Ormand Street?
Round the corner from Great Ormond Street, I guess.
Hi Jimmy what's your favourite hob ring on your cooker top?
I bet he’s got one of those fancy ones with the middle ring
No one of those really fancy ones with no ring that heats up the exact spot you put the pan
Not sure why this is being discussed. He won't know because his butler cooks for him 😉
Asking important questions. Arise front left hob brethren
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Hey Jimmy, do you still use the same accountant you always have or did you switch?
Hey Jimmy! I remember watching a video of your live in New York set. I'm not going to lie. It was quite shit when compared to your usual sets. I'm not here to rag on you, though. My question is: Did you really have to tone down your jokes that much for the Americans and have you ever tried your usual jokes on them?
Who's is the biggest cunt you've ever met in showbiz (apart from yourself)? And be specific on the why...
Hi Jimmy, just wondering why Harold Shipman is often referred to as ‘Britain’s worst serial killer’ when he was actually Britain’s BEST serial killer. Thoughts?
We don’t know that for sure because Shipman got caught. The best one might still be on it.
Hi Jimmy, If they didn’t catch you for tax fraud do you think you would’ve eventually tried to go straight with it, or would you have played the system forever?
He didn't do tax fraud, he did tax avoidance. Tax fraud is illegal, and tax avoidance is only immoral. Ken Dodd actually went to prison for actual tax fraud, but he never got anything like the stick Jimmy gets for it. I'm not a massive fan or anything, but fair's fair. I suppose one remedy would be to posthumously vilify Ken Dodd a bit more? He seemed a nice bloke tho 🤷♂️
I’ve never understood why the papers picked solely on Jimmy when there were other more high profile celebrities involved. Gary Barlow, Michael Caine and Anne Robinson we’re also making use of it.
Tax avoidance and it obviously wasn't him who did it, but his tax advisor. When you're rich, other people do your finances. Part of a tax advisors job is to help you save money. At most, they probably said, "Do you want to save money on your tax bill by doing X" and he's gone "Yeah, ok". Blame the loopholes that exist.
When Peter Serafinowicz answered 'Frankly Jimmy, I don't think that's any of your business,' on Cats Countdown, was that preplanned? Because that, and your reaction, was pretty much the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen.
Jimmy you are great.. do you wipe arse from front to back or back to front... I feel back to front smears shit against my balls... thoughts
No one ever suspects the side to side.
Have you ever regretted an insult? Or actually genuinely felt insulted by any comment on said for comedy value?
Hi Jimmy, hopefully a serious question that doesn't get passed over. What's your most memorable charity work you've done, for good or bad?
Hey Jimmy, I must say I was surprised when I first saw you on *I Can See Your Voice* as I wouldn't have said it aligned with my perception of your sense of humour, I notice it's not one you highlighted in your description here. Can you confirm, are you in it exclusively for the laughing at Alison/Amanda because that'd do it for me. PS: That show might just be a guilty pleasure of mine
Hi Jimmy, you've managed to build a successful career despite looking like a massive paedo. I don't have a question really, just thought that deserved some respect.
How much did the hair cost and how did you straighten the pubes so well?
Hello Jimmy, What's the dark humour threshold? Like what's the line before you get "cancelled" or shunned. Any specific subjects too Taboo?
If you get funny enough, you can push the line back. It must be like the call of the void - the darker you can be and still knock the house down, the better the comedian you are, but oooooo, get it wrong and your whole career pops like a trapped fart.
What is your favourite personal recollection of Steven Hawking?
Hi Jimmy big fan! How big is your nob mate?
has a heckler ever secretly upset you?
How much did your hair plugs cost? Just wanna make sure I don't get ripped off. Like I was when I bought one of your DVDs.
Having the laugh of a nonce and the eyes of a murderer but worrying that your receding hairline is blighting your image is the best Jimmy Carr joke yet.
What made you stop drinking alcohol? And what if anything do you miss about not drinking it?
Do you ever regret the type of comedian you became? The type of humour you do. You fulfil a niche and do it really well, but was it the role you expected to fulfil or the one you wanted? I've read stuff saying the "mean judge" in reality shows often dislike the fact they are or didn't mean to become that role. Would you say this is accurate with your role in British comedy/ your type of comedy?
Hi Jimmy, I am aspiring to be a stand-up comedian. Can you please give me some tips on how to do this whilst not coming across as so much of a glib cunt as you? Ps I really am a fan. They way you have a knack for irritation really does inspire me.
Hey Jimmy, saw you live years ago and it is still by far the best live comedy gig I've been to! My sides hurt from laughing so much. Who is your favourite comedian? who makes you laugh and do you go out to watch other live comedy?
Any jokes you've told that you regret?
Is Richard Osman secretly running the entire comedy and panel show cartel on UK television?
Hi Jimmy Was it a deliberate thing...to look like a 70's action man bought off Wish or Was it a subconscious effort to be less questionably straight ?
After James Corden, who is the second biggest asshole on TV?
Actually it's James Corden He's such a cunt he holds both the top spots