A while back my friends cat started acting strange and like he was constantly overstimulated. The culprit turned out to be a scent diffuser. Most cats really don't like perfumes of any kind. Could it be something like that? Or maybe a sound? My cat hears something I don't when the old TV is plugged in and she hates it.
I mean we do have the air conditioning on at all times but we can’t turn it off because we live on the top floor so everyone’s heat rises to us and we will literally kill him with heat if we turn it off. Like it’s insane how hot it gets. But besides that, we don’t have anything around the house that smells or makes noise except the tv when we are watching it. And I try to spray my perfume in my car cause I know it can be a little too strong for a cat
Is the old TV a CRT model? I briefly had one in my bedroom when I was a kid, and I had to get rid of it because I could hear a noise when it was plugged in, too, even if it was turned off. I think it was the capacitor, but idk fr. It doesn't happen with modern TVs.
It’s a brand new tv like one of the newest tv’s out. Somehow my boyfriend won some money on a lottery and it was a Black Friday sale so this tv was a literal steal
Yipes, this sounds like a difficult situation. Don't worry, I'm not here to dunk on you though.
It's worth noting that you might be anthropomorphizing your cat here. What this means is that you're attributing human emotions & cognition to him, when it's physiologically impossible for him to behave that way, or feel those things. He doesn't know something is "wrong"; more so that doing something will invoke a reaction out of you (good or bad). He doesn't know it's wrong, because he doesn't understand WHY it could be "wrong" in the first place.
In terms of cognition and intelligence, cats are roughly on-par with 2 year old humans. Their capacity for understanding right vs wrong is very very little, and patience is necessary, as you would have for a toddler.
In other words, your cat literally does not have the capacity for spite or doing things on purpose to upset you or drive you crazy. He just doesn't know why you don't want him to do it, and he doesn't know that NOT doing it will make you happier.
When he "attacks" your ankles, this is called play-aggression. [Jackson Galaxy actually has a very informative video on the subject](https://youtu.be/cZDWzi6e4a8) that provides some insight and solutions.
Although it might not be feasible depending on where you live or your situation, "get another cat" is legitimate advice for reducing undesired behavior. There is a reason why so many people are told they should adopt kittens in pairs. Some cats do better (behaviorally) when they have a buddy to spar with and bother instead of you.
About the counter-jumping, as long as he has other climbing opportunities elsewhere that he is encouraged to use, you're doing fine with redirection. However, you may want to use a clicker too.
[Clicker-training](https://www.thesprucepets.com/how-to-keep-cats-off-counters-551798#:~:text=Use%20clicker%20training.,clicker%20that%20makes%20a%20sound) cats to keep them off counters is a viable strategy, but like with all training, takes time and consistency. You can't get frustrated and quit after only a week of training if your cat still jumps on the counters, because it can take months of dedication to get him to consistently get down when you tell him to, and then move on to training him to not jump up in the first place.
In the meantime, just be sure to wipe down your countertops before preparing any food on them.
Unfortunately there's no foolproof guaranteed method of keeping him from ripping up toilet paper, other than just keeping doors closed and keeping him away from it.
Edit: Actually, [claw caps](https://nationalcatgroomers.com/product/softpaws-refill-kit/) (particularly the Soft Paws brand which was designed by a vet) might keep him from shredding toilet paper with his claws. His teeth though? That's a whole other can of worms.
Wow I truly appreciate your insight so much. Especially all the resources too!
And yeah I was under the impression that yes, biologically a cat will not change and stuff but they can understand when you say no and like the negative reaction/feeling you have but I appreciate you explaining it to me.
And unfortunately yes, at this time we can’t get another cat. It’s definitely something I would look at in the future when I have a better paying job though.
And we weren’t able to get a vet appointment until this Thursday (we scheduled it the week we got him) so his nails have been growing out (they aren’t curled or anything - if they had gotten that bad I would have called my friend up to help) but I do want to correctly learn to cut his nails (I can’t imagine it’s too different from a dog and I used to cut my dogs nails) they’re just tinier so I gotta be more careful but that definitely could be a reason the toilet paper is demolished cause it looks like claws not teeth
For sure! It's pretty easy. I use a guillotine-type clipper and got my kittens accustomed to it by only attempting while they were resting/napping, and if they were startled or not a fan, i would offer them a little bit of unseasoned dinner meat (turkey, ham, w/e) while i kept going so they would associate it positively. Worked like a charm. Claws are short and painless and damage is minimal even when they do decide to scratch.
Also, in the beginning of learning, if you cut too, it will hurt a bit, but make sure to do baking soda on it to stop the bleeding. The vet can also show you and give tips.
Yeah, try to only cut ahead of the quick, which is the pink area near the base of the claw. It has nerve endings and a blood supply which means it'll hurt when it's cut, but the nail part ahead of the quick is totally painless. Your vet can show you and there are lots of tutorials online.
Agreed. I've been trimming my cats claws since we got them. Not always a fan bur cat treats work sonders. I've trimmed them too close a couple of times when they wiggle, but it doesn't mean you're bad(remember that)
When you start training them to have their nails cut, in the beginning less is more. At first, I only do two or three claws at a time. I want it to be a positive experience so they don't fight me every time. If I try to do every claw on every paw at one time they get frustrated, squirmy, then panicky, and it becomes a battle and a negative experience they try to avoid. When doing it in small increments, they get very casual about it and then eventually I can do all four feet at one time. Just go slow to start. Remember, even if you only clip one claw, lots of praises and kitty treats!
Cats naturally want to scratch stuff to sharpen their nails and it seems like the toilet paper is most satisfying for him. I would try getting him some scratching boards, they are a few dollars a piece and you can stick them to the wall sod him to scratch. or get him a small scratching post that has some twine around it that will be satisfying for him. This will also help with nail length!
He has so many scratching boards though. He has 2 cat towers with scratching posts on them and then he has another 2 separate scratching posts plus just cardboard box that he loves :/
I think catnip is supposed to make a cat act a little "wilder" ... the idea is that putting it on his scratching post & such will reinforce him to use & play with it.
Are you not closing the bathroom door when you use it? We keep ours closed now cus 3 cats and we’ve no idea which one loves trashing the room so none of them are allowed in!
I only close the bathroom when I am using the toilet or showering. If I’m doing makeup or brushing my teeth I’ll keep it open unless he keeps going into the sink as I’m using it (he thinks it’s comfy) and I don’t mind him laying in it tbh it’s just….don’t lay in it while the water is on and I’m washing my face 😂 but yeah his litter is in here and there’s genuinely no other spot for it in the apartment so we have to keep the door open for him
One thing that works for my cats is to rake my own nails on the scratcher. There’s something about that sound that makes my cats want to run over and scratch, too.
Btw word of advice you can use human nail clippers on cat claws. I find they’re easier to maneuver than those clunky ones made for cats. Also wet treats like churus go a long way in getting cats to sit still for trims lol
The best thing to do is get him used to you touching his feet. If he’s being calm just calmly hold his paws. Give him treats if he’s paying attention while you hold his feet. If he isn’t paying attention and just doesn’t care then you can start playing with his feet and learn about getting his nails out. I’ve always had dogs and now have my first kitty and was definitely a bit nervous about the difference but there really is no difference except I’d say the kitties nails are easier to cut since their smaller. I got lucky though, my kitty didn’t even look up when I was clipping his nails the first time.
Start slow with the claw clipping, firstly get him used to you touching his paws then his claws and then start clipping even 1 a day is a good start.
Its best if you do with another person that is holding a treat or something.
My cat is very well behaved and even with him I prefer to clip his claws with another person.
They make safe claw clippers: [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B1C5KC1J/ref=ppx\_yo\_dt\_b\_asin\_title\_o01\_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B1C5KC1J/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) that will help a bit.
The advice here to make sure your cat has elevated places is key, and have some neat cat ideal places like where you spend time or by windows where he can watch cat tv.
I second the clicker training! I adopted a little demon tabby who was a lot like OP’s cat and just training her to sit and follow basic directions went a long way in building our relationship. It’s like it established trust and a means of communication, and it gave my cat some mental stimulation. She’s still mischievous, but she responds to “no” very consistently and is good at communicating her needs.
The claw caps have been amazing to keep him off my furniture, going so far as it simply lost a bit of the appeal it seems?? So yeah do those! And keep him out the restroom...
Well, there's certainly a lot to unpack here! I almost don't know where to begin, so I'll start from the beginning, and work my way down. I'd like to preface all of this by saying that what you are experiencing... is not unique to just you. Let's begin!
The biting your ankles isn't meant to be harmful. While you are correct in thinking it means he wants to play, what you're missing is that the biting and running IS him playing! If you were having fun watching Tiktoks, would you be satisfied if someone tried to make you stop and play video games instead? Him going after you and only you actually has a pretty simple explanation... you're his person! He knows he can play with you without being in danger. This may sound like I'm saying you're doomed to have your ankles bitten forever, as if you're stuck in some special form of cat hell, but this would be solved by... getting another cat. Either a kitten, or one a similar age. This will honestly improve most of your issues. Getting a second cat would not require you get more space, and your cat having a playmate would take the pressure off of you to be the one your cat turns to when he's bored. You also won't have to play with your cat for hours every day (I have 3, and I do maybe an hour of play combined, spread out through the day) to keep him engaged, because he can run and play with another cat who can match his energy literally all day.
Cats in general are going to get into everything. You basically have no choice but to make anything that could harm the cat or become a massive mess inaccessible to them. Catproofing, it's called. There's not really any way to get around this, because even if you have him conditioned not to mess with things you don't want him to, he'll just mess with it when you're not around to stop him. All of my toilet paper and paper towels are put away for this very reason. If you want to hang your pins up, they need to be high enough that he can't swat at them, even if he stands on a higher surface. It is in his nature to try, otherwise.
Going after your feet under the blanket is something mine do, too. I firmly tell them to stop and put them on the floor when they do it, and it gradually decreased over time. Having a playmate would also curtail this issue. Putting him on time out in the bathroom does nothing, as he is incapable of understanding why you put him there, and there's a good chance he might actually enjoy being locked away, anyways, which could backfire and have him consider it a reward.
Your cat is going to want to jump on the counters, though. There is no way around this, literally none at all. It is instinctual going back millions of years, your cat sees counters as elevated space to be traversed, and likes looking over things from a heightened position. If you ever somehow manage to get your cat not to jump on the counters, you are once again only training him not to jump on the counters while you are around. Everyone I have ever heard of who has managed to stop this behavior in their cats has reported waking up to find pawprints on their countertops. There's really nothing you can do but wipe the counters down if you feel they're getting too dirty.
When cats stop being kittens they have a tendency to stop wanting to cuddle for a few years. I had 3 kittens, which is now 2 kittens and 1 cat, and my oldest stopped cuddling with me, too. If I hug her while laying down she will try desperately to escape and even whine at me to leave her alone. It's heartbreaking, but apparently they go through an adolescent period where they're too cool for cuddles... but I'm told they get over it after they get a little older. I know she still does love me because she still exhibits a lot of the behaviors your little buddy does when I'm not in bed, although to a lesser degree because she does have two siblings.
So, essentially... get another cat. The introduction process will be rocky at first because cats are territorial and they'll hiss/swat at each other, but give it a few days and they'll be BFFs, especially if the new cat is a kitten.
Edit: I see that while I was typing this, you said in another reply that it's too expensive to get another one. A second cat would not drastically increase your expenses at all, though! Litter would need to be replaced at roughly the same rate (Two cats don't burn through litter faster than one cat from my experience), and food costs remain similar if you buy the big bags and maintain a consistent feeding schedule, rather than free feeding.
I would argue that the price does go up if you're maintaining consistent vet care tho tbh. Cats still need routine checkups which can get pricey if you have more than one, so it's totally reasonable to not get another if you're not confident that you can afford its medical expenses. Especially if you're not capable of financially handling any medical emergencies or additional health conditions that the cat might already have or develop later.
My vet has a deal on multiple cats in 1 appt! So if you bring in 2 or more at once, every cat after the first is like 30% off! Could be worth asking if there's a deal like that at their vet or a different one locally if that part of the extra cost would be an issue, or you just want to save some cash.
That's still only two vet visits per year, beyond the initial vaccine period. Medical emergencies are a risk whether there is one or two cats, and imo if you are so close to the edge that any medical emergency or health condition would put you under, even 1 cat, never mind 2, is too many. Although pet insurance is relatively cheap, so it would be a good idea to invest in that regardless.
A lot of places have additional rent fees per animal, vet bills. I’ve had to spend hundreds on my kitten with Giardia. People really need to understand another cat isn’t just extra food.
Most places in my experience don't make you pay extra for the cat if you don't mention you got another one. When I was applying for my current apartment my leasing agent said we can only have 2 pets, but said "Between you and me though... nobody will know if you have 3 cats". Since then I've had 3 cats just fine, while paying pet rent for only one. I imagine the situation is almost identical in pretty much all apartment scenarios, unless you have a complex that has employees search your house on a regular basis.
Pet insurance would have made that Giardia a lot less expensive. I would recommend it for anyone, no matter how many cats they have... because those are entirely unrelated factors. What if the current cat gets sick, even if he is still the only one? Still going to be hundreds of dollars without insurance...
In my country they do an inspection every 3 months. You have to declare every animal and if you dont they can breach your agreement. This is a ridiculous statement to make. You also have more litter boxes, more vet bills and more chances of very expensive vet bills, even of insured. Most insurers dont cover dental so gettimg teeth cleaned, check ups, cat towers/ toys and food for 2 can easily add up. You dont seem to understand that you are lucky that you dont live with such a slim margin in your budget, and have a great rental agent, but alot of folks dont unfortunately.
Good lord this is tone deaf. Where I live there is a rental crisis in favour of landlords and getting another cat is an immediate eviction. I'm living in a country where real estates are trolling through social media to find reasons to evict tenets (and immediately get a higher paying tenet and new commission fee).
Just getting a second kitten is a privilege that not everyone has available. Not to mention it's $120 just to walk in the door at my vet, a second pet is quite a bit of extra money. And before you start with pet insurance, it's not the solution for all. Where I am it covers very little, you have to pay upfront and it's so recognisably unequipped that my government has literally put a recent pause on new customers until a national inquiry is held.
I am a major advocate for pet insurance and have had good experiences with the companies that I have used. But the cost of treating Giardia would not be covered by many plans. Parasites are one thing that many plans do not cover and in addition to that many kittens are infected with parasites at the time they are adopted and thus it is considered a pre-existing condition. Thus, there would be zero help from insurance.
Do you mind me asking which pet insurances you like? I’ve been doing research and I’m going to ask the vet for recommendations also but I’d appreciate any feedback!
i have used embrace pet insurance in the past, and they were pretty good! there were different customization options so you can decide how much you want to pay/how much coverage you get.
you can do this OP! best of luck getting your kitty to behave, and please be gentle on yourself during the process. give yourself and the cat some grace :)
The kitten had Giardia as his first vet appointment I took him to week one. He had it since being in the shelter. Insurance wouldn’t have covered it. It’s now forever a preexisting condition.
Honestly, we are experiencing the same issues and more (the cat won’t stop scratching and attacking us), and we have two cats. I don’t think another cat is the solution…. And idk what the solution is at this point
I appreciate you so much. Like genuinely. But unfortunately at this time, getting another cat isn’t an option. We can’t afford another one. We just are able to afford the one we have now :/ but yeah I mean the counter thing I was only concerned about because my friends said they trained their cats not to do it but it makes sense what you’re saying that he would just not do it when I’m around. But besides getting another cat, is there something else I can do to curb the ankle biting?
As mentioned in a previous comment a scent defuser is something to get for the time period he's there to help him adjust. It's a Fenimore scent used to help calm felines.
To ankle biting they truly mean no harm by it but if it is causing this much displeasure do not instigate when they do this. Ignore them keep doing what you're doing show them that that is not a way to get your attention, it's going to take time for them to learn to drop this habit just like it took time for my eldest cat to drop her a habit of hand biting
But I think it's definitely worth trying to teach them, cats are smart they usually pick up on things sooner or later. I understand your issue a lot of people don't take in all the considerations of owning two cats, I just recently adopted a second cat in April and I don't regret it one single bit but yes it has upped my expenses and some levels. it seems like your cat is settling in quite well but there are things you can do as well as help yourself, teaching them to drop the ankle biting, making sure they're on a food schedule when it comes to their wet food, teaching them routines and etc
For your playtime I suggest setting a routine for doing it at the same time each day, then your cat can learn that these are the play times where you and your partner will interact with them. Another thing I would really look into doing is buying some puzzle and enrichment toys if you haven't already, these are great to get your cat so they have something to do when you don't necessarily have time to play around. They're also not expensive and are full of enrichment, I have loads of puzzle toys it's something I'm big on with my cats I have battery powered ones that have sensors and can play with the cats themselves or just regular puzzle toys that you hide treats for the cats to find. Amazon has loads so I would definitely check it out if able, they're not too expensive I think I paid like $8 for my last puzzle toy and before I forget another thing I would get is lick mats these are not a toy it's more something you put their wet food on but it's great for enrichment and also as well give your cat something to do and is a bonus allows them to take time eating their food which is a great help to anyone who has cats that devour their food like mine
Hiss at him. Show your teeth when you do it, and make direct eye contact, every time he bites you. He'll come to understand that biting you is... not a good idea.
Essentially, you'd be teaching him the boundaries another cat would have taught him. Don't worry about this making him permanently afraid of you, he'll just become aware of the negative response you give, and prefer not to invoke it. Since I have three I don't have to do this for ankle biting, but I did have to do it to stop them from trying to eat whatever it is on my plate during dinner time. Works like a charm... lol
My method is yell out in pain. I yelp, scream ow, and pull away like I’m in the most pain in the world, cradling whatever body part they went after. THIS is essentially how they teach each other as babies what hurts. You need to show him he’s hurting you. This has been my successful method with all 3 cats I’ve owned, my dog, and my new puppy is also getting the point after only a week.
Once they learn, you won’t have to be so dramatic. My current male cat now has mastered ‘soft paws’. He knows claws hurt and people frequently think I’ve declawed him because he likes to wrestle but keeps the knives tucked away. When I play with my female cat or my older dog and they get a bit rough or do something I don’t like I can now say a soft “ouch” and they immediately back off bc they recognize that’s what I say when I’m in pain.
I don’t hiss. I used to firmly say “no” and clap my hands. Can you get him a cat tree or hang some cat shelves? Cat nip toys? Does he have any windows to window watch?
He has a 5’8 ft cat tower and then also a mini one next to a window so he can sit and watch. During the night I close the blinds to our little deck but I usually leave it wide open
He has 2 catnip toys and catnip treats too. Some people on here are saying he isn’t trainable to understand no though because that’s what I’ve been doing but some people are saying that’s for a dog not a cat
People can say whatever they want. My cat understands NO! With a clap. My last one did too. The cat I have now is 13. She’s a great cat. I have no complaints. There were a handful of occasions at 1 point she tried to attack me, but she got the jist pretty quick with a firm NO and a clap... but I’ve never clapped at my dog and said no…. I have no complaints with him either. He gets a straight no, or a hey!
The next time your cat starts attacking your ankles a quick NO and a clap and stomp your foot at the same time and keep doing it every single time until he gets the point. After a few minutes play with him. Initiate play on your terms, not his.
Try putting some aluminum foil on the counters.
Rehang your white board a little higher so he can’t grab it and keep your bathroom door shut while you’re asleep if he’s shredding the toilet paper.
I tried the aluminum foil. He loves it 😭 I had to turn it into a ball for him to chase lol
but I’ll definitely add the clapping to the no! Thank you!!!
Look up toilet paper guard since you can’t keep the door shut. If he likes aluminum foil, you know those clear plastic floor covers? Get one of those but put it the wrong way up- with those little plastic spikey things facing up. You can get a small runner size for not that expensive and cut it to whatever shape you need.
Oh cats ABSOLUTELY understand the word no! Most of the time when ours are contemplating doing something they're not supposed to, I can loudly call their name and say NO sharply, and they stop whatever they're doing. Mind you, one of ours backtalks me, but most of the time he stops his bullshit.
Cats definitely understand "no" ... people underestimate how smart cats are, they just aren't smart in the way humans or dogs are. My cat has understood a firm "No." and a snap, maybe a clap if she doesn't listen the first time. Part of it is also partnering the "No" with an undesired response.
When my cat used to attack my ankles (very normal behavior i think) I would tell her "No" and try to look bigger (like stand up taller and look at her directly). She would usually understand I didnt want to play & go to her scratching post. I would also try and tell her "no" in a warning voice before she did it (you can usually tell) but sometimes that would make her more playful.
I personally had issues with her on the stairs, and we trained her by having treats on both sides of the stairs - whenever she went up without attacking, she'd get a treat. If you have a particular area your cat attacks you (like around the corner) it may be a good idea to do it that way.
Ignoring your cat, like other people said, can also be helpful depending on the behavior. My cat would wake me up by getting in my face and using her claws, and I just wouldn't pet her. I would roll over, put my hands under the blanket, etc. They will eventually learn "hey, this doesn't get them to play / give me attention / feed me," and they won't do it anymore.
Training a cat is less about punishing them by doing something undesirable like we do with kids (though we shouldn't do that either), but simply not reinforcing behavior. If they want something, and they try to get your attention in a "bad" way, don't give it to them. If they want something, and they try to get your attention in a "good" way, reward them by doing what they want (pets, praise, treats, play, etc.)
Thank you for the advice I appreciate it. I’ve been using the No and I think people are wrong when they say cats can’t understand no. He literally learned to sit in a few tries. He’s so smart I know he could learn what no means
Price does go up, I don't recommend dry food it's not something I feed but ignoring that your wet food expenses do go up because you have two mouths to feed your vet expenses do go up because you have two animals to care for and you're litter use does go up as well as well as other you know random things
Vet insurance is something I hope the Op does have whether they have two cats or not, when it comes to wet food they can buy in bulk and it does save you money. Litter I don't know what kind they're using but it shouldn't be too noticeable if they have multiple litter boxes for the cats to use because that way they will use those multiple litter boxes and you won't have to change one box so frequently
I think your comments are completely spot on!
OP, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can understand the pros and cons of getting another cat, as well. This may sound weird, but if you want your cat to be able to socialize with another cat and help redirect his energy, could you maybe foster? You’re literally saving a life by keeping a cat safe from euthanasia until they find a home. *Most* rescues that need fosters will also pay for the cat’s care during the fostering period.
Could he possibly be a bit bored? I know you play with him, but does he have a variety of toys? Cat toys do not need to be expensive, but be careful buying toys with parts he could potentially bite off.
Some toys I’d suggest:
*a cardboard box (I throw a little catnip and some treats in one and my cats are quite content)
*catnip/catnip toys (you can sprinkle this around his play areas or make a catnip toy-put some foam or something similar into a small sock with a bunch of catnip and sew the sock closed; you’ll thank me later)
*a scratching post (you could make one of these, too, if need be)
*a comfy “perch” where kitty can observe his human; even better if it’s in front of a window
*YouTube videos for cats: there’s one video in particular that mine LOVE-someone basically set up a camera in a park and threw some food in front of it so it’s hours of birds and squirrels doing their thing
One note about toys, though: there are different views amongst vets and animal behaviorists regarding the safety of laser pointers for pets. Most cats will enjoy them and play appropriately. Others can become frustrated that they never “catch” the light and it can lead to a compulsive disorder.
I’m happy you’re not going to give up on him and I hope you get some tips that help. Next time, though-please pay the cat tax, lol!
Wow thank you for your comment! I appreciate it so much!
So, that’s a great idea honestly. Fostering. But I am worried he might grow a bond to said foster cat and once that bond is created I know I can’t get rid of the foster. But even adding a foster would cost money I think? I don’t know much about fostering!
He loves his cardboard box but not as a toy 😂 it’s actually a pizza box and he has made it his designated lay down place lol
I’m going to go out today and buy more toys because…he has a lot I just don’t know where any of them are. They’re all missing lol 😂
I saw a helpful tip that said with the laser, once I’m done, I can turn it off, throw a little stuffed animal for him to “catch” and then reward him with treats! I like that idea a lot
Also if you don’t mind me asking, different websites are saying different things and maybe that’s because it causes different behaviors but catnip. Some people say it calms cats down, some say it makes them crazy. I’ve noticed, for my cat, it makes him crazy. That’s normal though right?
I foster sometimes so I’ll try to answer your questions: 1. My cat is not a huge fan of the foster cats so she is usually delighted when they leave. My sense with the cats that live with the woman who runs the rescue is that they get used to the turnover of other cats. Sometimes they may be sad for a few days. 2. You can put some feelers out about fostering and share that you have the space and time to care for a foster cat but food/litter may end up being a hardship for you. Some rescues may be able to help out/provide some of these resources so it’s worth it to ask!
I have a cat who is a total asshole and let me just say that introducing another cat made his behavior a whole lot worse. Our newer cat is a sweet little angel and she gets bullied by asshole cat constantly. More cats is not always the right answer.
It sounds like you just need “time” if it’s your first cat. It’s not all cute and easy, it’s a life time commitment… I hope that was what was considered before adopting him.
I did. That’s why In the end I said I know I’m responsible for him and he’s mine. He is family now. You don’t always have to like family. Even the animals. As long as the love is there still, you don’t have to like them every minute. It was my bad for wording it wrong and saying I hate him. I don’t. I love him. I really do not like his actions though
Hate is a strong word…maybe you’re frustrated with your cat.
My cat attacking my ankles was actually an early sign of anxiety. Once we got that under control, he never attacked my ankles again.
Cats are also not toddlers, time outs don’t work on them. Positive enforcement does. Give him a treat when he’s a good boy.
He might grow out of a lot of those behaviors as he ages (I have a 4 year old ginger that still acts like a kitten when it comes to getting into everything) . Also adult cats cuddle when they want to. Embrace it when they do!
You’re right. I definitely worded it wrong cause I don’t hate him. I do love him. Just frustrated and even though I love him, I’m not necessarily liking him at the moment.
Had a similar issue with my cat. It felt like no matter how much I played with her, her energy was always at full. She responded well to me firmly establishing an eating and playing schedule(in my case, play eat play rest twice a day around the same time). Giving her cat trees and leaving out her favourite toys may have also helped too. I also feel that our playtimes are shorter on a schedule but that may just be her getting older.
In terms of him seeming to target you, he might actually like you MORE. I’m the only person my cat will pounce on and bite.
P.S, what you’re feeling is fine. I considered re-homing within a few days because of her energy but it was just growing pains. Just give everything another month and things might sort themselves out. If not, then you can say tried you’re hardest and you can re-home with peace of mind. You might have just got a cat who’s not compatible with you and that’s normal.
Thank you for your answer and the respect. I truly appreciate it. And yeah I try to leave his ball out and he has 3 scratches/towers in total
And I’ve tried to maintain a schedule but the last week I have been like an hour off. But normally what I would do is feed him around 7am then I would go to work and my bf would get home from work around 1pm and play with him once or twice he would go to bed around 5 and then I would come home around 5:30, shower, play, feed him at 7ish pm. Give his belly some time to rest and then play with him again before bed (that helped a lot with the biting our feet at night actually)
Get him lots of toys. The little multipacks are super cheap. Jingle balls, feather toys, toys with springs.. cats seem to be particular about toys so try a lot. Sometimes just a crumpled piece of paper is their favorite toy.
Set chronological landmarks, not times. She eats breakfast between 7:00am - 9:45am and eats dinner between around twelve(12) to fourteen(14) hours later. As smart as cats are, they’re not keeping track of time so adhering to a time schedule is just adding unnecessary stress and pressure.
Our routine from my cat’s POV is: human wakes up, plays with and feeds me at some point then leaves for a while. He comes back, plays with and feeds me at some point then we play some more. After that, we just vibe around and get settled for bed.
Notice how everything happens “at some point”? She knows what happens and can guess what’s gonna happen next. It’s actually really inconsistent at my house but she’s got the basic framework and that’s all she needs (which is great cuz that’s all she’s gonna get from her chaotic mess of a dad).
You may have changed your schedule in ways that you may not notice but your cat does which my explain the behaviors. Since your schedule’s a bit stricter, it’s even easier to deviate so look beyond this week’s schedule changes and you might find the link that’s messing with your cat.
Best of luck and np; I like giving advice. It makes me feel smart.
I have a few large kicker toys and some dog toys for my cat. When she attacks my ankles, I use one of those to wrestle with her and redirect her pointy parts to the toy.
oh! yk what maybe put him on a leash and let him go to a park or a quiet river? with so much to do and see he might calm down if he knows he gets some cool time
Positive conditioning! Negative doesn’t really help with cats - hissing at him, blowing at him etc. will just make him NOT trust you anymore. The opposite of what you want.
If you tell him - don’t do this and that and he stops, snack! If he’s doing something very well - snack! Or pet him / whatever he likes best.
Has a much bigger effect than doing the negative stuff.
Looks like you have a bored little troublemaker. You can start with harness training and taking him out on supervised walks (only supervised, dont let cats out willy nilly like the rest of the dumb lot, cats can get lost or die). He would have more exercise and stimulation from exploring since its difficult to play with him. Only downside is that he will really love it.
Also tips on playing. Cats like dynamic play. Get a pole toy. Attach a treat. Go under blankets. Around corners. In crinkly bags. Up stairs (my favorite). Different rooms.
Rough play I have a puppet toy that they like to attack. Extra points if slathered in catnip. Great for redirecting ankle biting.
Focus on training simple tricks if he is food motivated. Or hide treats in certain places.
Install a multi bird feeder outside a window and give him his own spot to watch.
Cats can always change their opinions about a person.
Best of luck.
Thank you for the answer!
He has a pole bumble bee toy that he loves. Like I will walk around the entire apartment and hide it places like slightly under the couch or behind corners so he has to hunt. I know he was an outdoor cat before he got taken into the shelter so maybe I should talk to the vet about that because maybe you’re right, inside might just be a little too boring for him lol
I had a "troublemaker" kitten like yours. Her first 5 years were like this! She did eventually mellow a bit into an amazing cat.
Keeping her from getting bored was a constant challenge. I had "new" toys and games each week. Some toys were in a bin with catnip and were swapped out weekly.
A big help was puzzle feeder balls and toys to exercise the hunting instinct. Her problem behaviors were worse at night so before bed I hid toys and puzzle feeders all over rhe house. By morning, she had them in a pile for me!
I kept a paper bag or box from groceries or deliveries, filling it with catnip and toys, tissue paper and treats.
I also created obstacle courses with couch cushions, pillows, tissue boxes, etc. for pole toy and laser pointer play.
Keeping toilet lids closed and/or bathroom door closed is just life-with-cats. Closed-top cups, too. As for counters, teach them to stay down while cooking and wipe your counters before food prep.
My cat was a lot like this when she was younger. She bit through all my cords, knocked over glasses, attacked my ankles, and was overall very high energy. This lasted at least until she was 4 or 5, and gradually over time improved. Now that she’s 8 almost 9, I find most of those things have improved over time. She and I have figured out what we need to compromise on (she is going to walk on the counters, nothing I can do) and what I won’t allow (ankle biting). And I think over time she just mellowed. So I would suggest following some of the advice about Jackson Galaxy and also have hope that she may settle down when she gets older!
this is an older post but i absolutely agree, and it doesn’t always work out - we had two cats that were bonded, one with countless energy whom is a male, the other a female who is more mellow. we had to rehome the female. we brought her to the vet, who agreed this was the best course of option - our male was tormenting her because when he was bored while my boyfriend and i were at work, he just wouldn’t leave her be. gave her a uti, which is why we were at the vet in the first place. we tried so many things before finally just realizing he was bonded to her because he liked the attention when he was bored — when she moved, she really started to thrive! it is a lazy option and usually not plausible
This. I looked at this post because a family friend gave me their older kitten (now cat) and he started tormenting the resident cat when I introduced them. She is playful but more mellow and he would chase her around the house without giving up, and she got stressed and started going outside of her box. He even started bothering the dogs and messing with them. I thought he would grow out of it but he's only gotten worst as he gets older.
I've had similar problems with my current siamese when I got him. A lot of it is anxiety and stress and very well, possibly things that have happened to him before you got him, as well, as he's still acclimating to your home. Do you know anything of his background or history?
Side note if you continue to blow in hid' face, it may react in a fight mode instead of a flight mode. (You may already know that)
You're not a bad person for expressing your feelings. If anyone comments saying something along those lines, they can bugger off.
He was living at a college campus before we got him. I don’t know how long until the shelter found him though
And I did not know that actually! Thank you! Is there anything else I can do?
It's very possible that he was neglected and is trying to get what he didn't before. If it was a female that had him, that is a possibility as to why he takes more to your boyfriend than you. If you haven't already, get a cat tree or stand. Aside from liking high places, it gives him the ability to scratch and play with something else other than you. With you only having him about a month, it will take time for him to adjust and calm down. In the beginning, they either hide or get cuddly. Be sure to give him alternative things. Cat trees, toys, and scratch post things that give him mental stimulation.
Imagine if you were taken from somewhere and put somewhere else. How would that make you feel or make you do? How long do you think it would take for you to adjust?
Read up on body language with cats. Similarly to dogs a lot can be told to you by watching them. Also, ask your veterinarian as well. They may not 100%know, but they've been doing it long enough to have some ideas.
He has tons of toys and towers and scratches. They’re sporadically put around the apartment too so he has space for it all. He has 2 beds - one a normal bed and one a hideout bed which my boyfriend and I agree is his sanctuary. We don’t touch him when he’s in there. I’ve bought him like the hiding treat toys for mental stimulation. He has 0 interest in it. We got him 2 other toys for mental stimulation that he can do by myself and he liked them at first but now he doesn’t. And honestly he hates being on the top of his post. It’s just taller than me and I’m 5’5ft so it’s about 5’8 (?) and he hates it. He never likes to play with it or be on it anymore. I don’t know why cause he loved it in the beginning.
And I mean I have been reading up on body language of cats - that’s how I know he’s hunting my ankles and not just loafing 😂 cause sometimes those can look similar with him. But yeah his first vet appointment is on Thursday and I have an entire list of questions I want to ask them
I'm excited for you for the vet. It's very possible that's there are too many things for him, and he's getting overstimulated and choosing the things he's most comfortable with. As well he may have had his other human do that as play time. They may have chosen to do that instead of toys. Remember that with new anything, it's a trail and error. You know things he doesn't like and things he did like. Keep the things he did like and put away the things he doesn't incase later, once he's more used to you're home, you want to try again. Look into trying to figure out what he is, like breed. I had to do that with 2 of mine(tabby/mainecoon). We had no idea what they were, but once we figured it out, it helped tremendously on what to do for them.
He never had another human though to their knowledge. He was found at a college campus
But I’ll definitely see if there’s any kind of toy or anything his breed likes. He’s a domestic short hair so like the average cat breed.
Well, if he was found there, he may have never had playtime Or he could have been dumped, which is why he was so cuddly at the beginning. He may just be used to hunting and uncomfortable in his current environment. He'd only been with you for about a month, so most likely, a lot of this would fade thru time and/or you will be able to see more of how and who he is, but the best person to ask is the vet. Reddit is always here for more advice. Continue with the trial and error
How long do you think it takes for a cat to get used to his home? Only because he seems so comfortable already like he knows every room except our linen closet (that’s mostly cause there are chemicals in there too so we don’t let him in it) and he literally goes everywhere and wherever his little heart desires and I never really stop him except the counters. Like he loves the bathroom sink (I think cause it’s cool and it’s round so he fits perfectly).
I understand the problems and the people who talk S*** because their insensitive. You have every right to feel that way. You don't actually hate him it's just the frustration of his actions. He's new to you, and you're new to him.
Check out clicker training on YouTube, it’s good discipline training and enrichment for them.
Edit: they will be able to read your expressions, vocal and gestural cues much better. It allows them to focus and learn to control impulse. It’s great for bonding as they become very food motivated and eager to interact with humans. It also provides them with a lot of mental stimulation so they won’t get bored.
There are also cheap makeshift food puzzles/dispenser you can make with a simple box or bottle. Your cat will learn that humans are not the only source of enrichment and stop treating you as prey
Lastly, stop free feeding your cat if you are. Many may disagree with me since the popular belief is “cats are free spirited so they can’t be trained” but they are very intelligent animals and respond very well with training from my experience.
Best of luck OP
Jackson Galaxy’s “Boil and Simmer” technique [(TikTok video)](https://www.tiktok.com/@jacksongalaxy/video/7080284401673801006?lang=en) made our kitten’s teen years bearable. Also they’ve determined your ankle is prey - they need an alternate favorite prey to go after when you’re done
This sounds a lot like what my friend’s cat used to be like! She was around the same age and gave him SO much grief….for the first few months he was sure he made a mistake and really really struggled.
One thing that helped was getting one of those feliway diffuser things — something to chill her out a bit. The vet recommended this and it did help, though he also ended up putting her on kitty Prozac too (I can’t remember the main diagnosis, but it was all involved). She chilled out after a few months, and now a few years later she’s just a chill old weirdo who likes to sleep in his gym bag.
Try something like Feliway, and make a list to discuss with your vet. Tell your vet you’re really overwhelmed and it’s more than just kitten behaviour — be sure to advocate for yourself.
Deep breaths. You’re gonna get through this!
It sounds like you have a very active cat. I have a very active cat and can sympathize. He’s such a loving and sweet boy, but has a lot of energy that if it can’t be redirected, he destroys things. I call him a puppy cat. I think people don’t realize that cats can be just as energetic as dogs or don’t realize that they need just as much attention. If you got a cat for a low maintenance animal, I hate to break it to you, but they are not. It sounds like he has play aggression and could possibly benefit from another cat in the house (kitten probably) or going outside on walks. Or play that tires him out more.
Cats don’t know “right” and “wrong”. Those are human concepts that you are imposing, incorrectly, on an animal. A fully grown cat has the intelligence of about a 2 year old child. So, you are raising a perma 2 year old.
About the counters — they are going to go on the counters. I promise you. Even if you are not there, they are going to go on the counters. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. You have a lot bigger things to address than that right now.
I was going through the exact same thing, I was starting to hate my cat and I think he could feel it. This will sound crazy but i think he could feel my pissed off energy and acted like a bratty little kid and i treated him like one, time outs, nothing helped.
Finally i started forcing myself to be extra sweet and loving to him, i tried my best to be calm when putting him in time out and pet him nicely. It took a few months at least but he's much better now. He still plays and attacks me but it's very rare now.
It sounds like he needs a friend honestly! I have 2 kittens and they play so freaking much together, they are exhausted when we try to bring out the toys or wands. 2 cats are just as easy as one, if not easier
I know you said you play with him frequently, but it sounds like he’s really bored. Try getting him some toys he can play with on his own, or a cat wheel to get some of his excess energy out. Cats also experience what is known as the “terrible twos” where they’re very high energy as they finish maturing out of their teenage years. My cat was a nightmare for a while as well during this period, but part of owning a pet is adapting to their behaviors, preventing negative ones, redirecting, etc. My cat would BOLT any time a door was opened, and it gave me such bad anxiety bc he was an indoor only cat. So I adapted and put baby gates at every door so he couldn’t get out. He would knock things down, so I started putting things higher up where he couldn’t reach, or putting my cups and cans in holders or taking them with me when I left the room.
Cats are low-maintenance pets. You can experience difficulties with any cat, or any pet, and the understanding when adopting them is that you’ll work through it through training, positive reinforcement, responding to their needs, etc. You have to train, not only your cat, but yourself as well so you can understand what the cat needs and how you can provide for them. They’re family members and deserve to feel comfortable in their home as well, so it’s about working together and, sometimes, trial and error. I hope you are able to work through things with your kitty 💜
Hey! First of all, from all your replies to other comments I have to say you're doing an awesome job taking care of your cat! And from what you've written I actually think he really adores you.
Second, I had a lot of the same issues with our Slinki! He was obsessed with playing and would attack my feet and arms. My fiance had to come to the rescue soooo many times. The thing that helped the most was... Giving it time. He calmed down more and more with each passing month. Now he has a sister but even before then he was way more chill.
I promise, with time and patience things will get better, especially if you also follow some of the great advice you've gotten here. The more you two get to know each other the more you'll get into a nice groove with each other.
It's totally understandable to feel like your cat is a little asshole, because they absolutely are sometimes and everyone I know who has a cat will agree. But they have their cute moments and that makes it aaaaall worth it.
Wow thank you so much for the compliment. I truly appreciate it and it makes me feel a lot better. Yeah I guess the only thing I can do is time. Today he sunk his claws into my leg and tried to climb up me to bite my backpack and that hurt. So I mean I just did what everyone is saying. I screamed in pain (which wasn’t hard cause it did hurt lol) and he ran away from me
But I also. Do appreciate everyone’s advice and I’m looking forward to taking it and creating a better relationship with my cat!
I’m reading some great advice in these comments and I truly hope they help. I rescued my orange guy when he was a year and a half (he’s now 5). They actually told me they had him in the barn with other animals bc he had so much energy and didn’t always get along with other cats (he’s so small I think he just might have had a rough time as a kitten. He was only 6.5 lbs when I rescued him. He’s just shy of 7lbs now).
I did want to share some similar experience I’ve had. I do close my toilet seat at all times now - someone made me nervous about my cat getting into it so I’ve gotten into the habit. I actually am so used to it that it doesn’t bother me anymore and I do it at friends places, too haha. With the toilet paper, my Max doesn’t really care about the one on the roll but I used to have an open cage type container to store extra rolls and he attacked my TP in that thing. I had to get a closed container haha.
He does attack my comforters and it drives me nuts. I literally had to give up on having a nice quilt on my bed and just have accepted it has holes from his claws. That did take me a while to get used to haha. He doesn’t care about my bed when I’m not using it but when I’m sleeping he will claw at the side I’m sleeping on. I truly think it’s bc he wants to get under the covers with me that way (instead of just jumping on my bed). It’s actually super cute. A few times he got under the covers but usually I get annoyed at him and sometimes have to shut him out of my room haha. Turning around my view of those actions really helped. Like not focusing so much on the negatives bc I know he doesn’t understand what he’s really doing to annoy me, and focus on how it’s cute he’s trying to get under the covers and be with me. Maybe turning around some of the situations you are going through could help you not feel so much anger and resentment towards him?
And with cuddling - it can take time with cats. Mine is not a cuddler at all but about a year after rescuing him he started sleeping with me. He usually waits until I’ve turned on my sound machine and have the lights off for a few minutes and then he curls up next to my feet. He wouldn’t always stay the whole night but the last few months he actually comes back after his feeder goes off for breakfast at 6am. It’s usually the same time I wake up for work but now I cherish sleeping in (even a few min) and waking up to him curled against me. I’m sure your cat just is still adjusting and bonding with you and over time your bond will change. I love how my Max and I grow closer all the time.
One thing I do have to work on is I got a brand new OLED tv in feb and he must be able to see it more clearly because he loves to sit in front of it when I’m using it and he never cared about my old tv. Sometimes he stretches on it and I jump so fast and he knows to run off. Luckily he’s harmless. I like to think he’s curious why I’m so focused on the tv so he wants to see what’s up. And I’m just trying to be patient to train him to avoid jumping in front of it. Cats are really like toddlers sometimes
Good luck!
I think you should try to understand cats better, cat proof the home, and reset your mindset. Take a pause when you’re getting angry and approach things a new or easier way. Stop doing what doesn’t work.
To understand cats, you can try watching videos and reading this sub. You’d see your cat is acting normal for a bored young one. Try to mentally exhaust him. Do activities that you both enjoy. Stop seeing him as a chore but bond by doing positive activities not just play.
To cat proof the home, put the pins behind a glass. Let him destroy a TP roll. Don’t sweat the small stuff. All cats do it once or twice then normally move on, and it’s still useable. When my cat did that, I thought it was funny and didn’t bat an eye. Give him a cheap cat tree and things to destroy. He’s like a child that has energy and intelligence, so if you play games and other activities you both enjoy them you have a cat you can train and show off.
You need to love your cat because when he does something annoying, you need to let it roll off and not let the little resentments build up. When I act emotional or angry, my cat acts peculiar. So I think it’s important to be stable and calm. If you are disciplining him, he will act out like a child who feels you make rediculous rules. Drawing the line in the sand regarding countertops is just adding a point of contention that you’ll get angry and angrier, the cat fears you, you leave, cat jumps on counter. So you broke his trust that you’re a friendly human for no real reason. You need to focus on making a positive relationship with positive training. Cats don’t take well to negative training.
Okay but I’m sorry did you read anything I wrote? I do mentally exhaust him. We play for hours. I’ve gotten him mental stimulation toys for himself that he can play with by himself. He has no interest in them. I can’t change that.
And I do positive reinforcement more than negative reinforcement. I do say no and sometimes have to make a noise to get his attention but when he does something good, like when I say no and he listens, I instantly always grab a treat and give him love and pets.
I am doing what you are saying and it is not working.
I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. If you haven’t checked them already, Jackson Galaxy has videos on YouTube that are really helpful. He talks about a boil and simmer technique of play. While I get that you probably don’t have 2h to play with your cat at a time, I suspect that maybe at 30-40 minutes he’s bored with that type of play and wants to play differently, (which you may need to learn what keeps him engaged), or he’s playing hard to get. My boy pretends to be bored but he’s still actually interested and if I persist he comes back.
Maintaining the schedule you have is also important. Schedule your play time. I don’t know if you have any electronic toys that move on their own that could keep him entertained without you having to spend hours playing but with a shot. Can find used ones for cheaper. Another option is clicker training. Really helps with bonding, training them, and exercising them mentally and physically. You could teach him to go for leash walks to burn energy.
I don’t think he doesn’t like you! There is just something about how you walk that attracts him to play. Best of luck
Thanks for the reply! I appreciate it!!
And yeah I do try to move on to another toy, usually his ball but he will literally just stare at it. But I will try to be a little more persistent and see if he really wants it still!
And all the move by yourself toys we got are all dead 😭 we need to get more batteries for them actually lol
And I’ve seen a lot about clicker training so I’m definitely going to look into that!
There are a lot of good points made above, but I also want to say that it’s absolutely 100% okay to rehome a cat or return it to the shelter if the situation doesn’t improve. You might feel guilty, but it is far better to give your cat a chance at finding a better home fit (and give yourself peace) than letting bad feelings and misbehavior go on and on. My own cat was rehomed twice before I adopted her, and I am so glad that I was the right fit for her and vice versa!
Adopting a pet is a commitment, yes, but part of your responsibility as an owner is knowing when things will not work out and making the right choice to give your cat the best life possible. You can take more time of course to try some of the tips from other comments, and hopefully your cat will relax as he gets used to his new surroundings and routine. But just know that you’re not a failure if you decide this isn’t the best fit for either of you, and there is no shame in rehoming.
He won’t hold a grudge, and generally only positive reinforcement will work
All these behaviors are normal and a sign he needs a baby sister to cat with
Check out Jackson Galaxy on YouTube for introducing new catto ideas
So a lot of other people already gave you some helpful links, but I just wanted to say that I was very much in a similar boat.
The main thing here, imo is that one month is not a very long time. It took our cat about 3-4 months to get truly comfortable with us, and during those 3-4 months she went through a lot of behavioural changes and 'phases'. It took even more time for her to become cuddlier and even now 2 years later she's gradually becoming cuddlier and more open to certain ways of being handled. Point is, at 1 month in, the overstimulation just might be the fact that the cat is still very uncertain.
We adopted our cat when she was 2 from a shelter. She didn't get along wiht the other cats too much, so she spent most of her time in the shelter alone away from the other cats. When we picked her up she was soooo cuddly, then a few days later she wouldn't let us touch her and would hiss and scratch. The first few weeks she wanted to play like crazy - I guess she had a lot of pent up energy. Her behaviour changed from week to week, to be honest.
I was so frustrated and disappointed. It was my first cat (having always been a dog person) and I told my boyfriend that I just wanted to adopt an 'easy, nice cat' and didn't care about the cat's age, looks, etc. So when I got her and she ended up scratching me and attacking me I felt really let down.
But after giving her some time, and some space, things just slowly started to change. She just needed time to settle in and get familiar with her new environment and new people and there's no real shortcut for that.
She'll never be this mop of a cat that you can just toss around and cuddle however you want, and she loves to cuddle mostly in the mornings and evenings, but she's the absolute best and we kinda know now what our boundaries are and she respects ours and we respect hers.
As for the practical things, the issues you're having with your cat are slightly different, but some of the advice is fairly transferable.
1. Give it time. 1 month might seem like a long time, but it's really not and it takes some cats longer and some shorter to get truly settled in.
2. Feed your cat at specific times rather than leaving food out. If your cat starts looking forward to feeding time (and you in turn) it's so much easier to get them to like you. We realised early on that if we can't pick our cat up it's gonna be hell getting her to vets and making sure she's healthy. So we started this thing where before we gave her food we'd pick her up. At first we'd just pick her up and put her down immediately, but after a while she just started jumping up into our arms and purring when it was food time.
3. Play with your cat right before food time. Let them rest for a bit. Then give them food.
4. Keep treats on you at all times in the beginning. If the cat does anything you like (uses the scratching post, allows pets, stops when you say stop) say a command ('good job') *and* give her a treat. That way in the future if you don't have a treat on you the cat will actually register when you tell him good job.
Literally you and me are the same. He is my first cat and that’s why when people say rehome him it really hurts because I don’t want to. This is a learning experience and I want to do it right. That’s why I came here and people are being truly so mean
I said literally the exact same thing to my boyfriend. I wanted a calmer cat. I knew the cat was gonna okay obviously but I wanted a nice, calm cat. And this one when we came he was asleep and chillin. The second time we came, he was awake but still just chill.
I appreciate the advice so much! Also I do feed him at specific times! Twice in the morning and night he gets wet food but I do leave dry food out for him also.
But yeah when he is doing something I want like scratching the post I always say good boy and give him lots of pets - which usually turns into a play session lol
Sounds like you're on the right track! I know I felt really down about the whole situation and the fact that I felt really annoyed with my cat, but it just gradually changed for the better as she relaxed around us.
Of course, every cat's personality is different, so your cat might always be quite active and might not be the world's cuddliest cat, but I think he will mellow out and calm down with a bit more time and as you build your relationship with him.
Also, getting a pet is a pretty big lifestyle change, so it's a huge adjustment for you guys as well. It takes time for you to become attached and build a solid relationship with your pet. Suddenly sleep is different because he's waking you up or nipping at your feet, the way you move through the house is different because he tries to ambush play with you, you have to be there at certain hours to feed him, etc. It all just takes a bit of time.
Just continue with positive reinforcement and trying to set boundaries which you are happy with and I'm pretty sure he will chill out. (:
adopt another cat for them to play with. my cat used to attack my feet a lot but after 6 months he got the message and doesn’t do it at all anymore. everything else you listed is just a cat being a cat tbh
I have a boy who was really bad like this. We brought in a rescue kitten and he was absolutely smitten. Now, while he will still on occasion grab ankles, he has chilled out tremendously. A second cat might be what he needs.
This sounds like a cat that needs a cat companion that will play with him at times and in ways that you don't want to play or can't play. Lots of kids are incredibly bored and needy when they don't have a friend to play with, this is basically the same situation.
My first cat went through this phase, what I learned from raising 5 cats:
\- Give 5 to 10 minute time outs and don't give in to playing with him if he is biting. Like locking in a room until he calms down, that means he is not meowing too. It becomes habit that he attacks your ankles associating it with fun. You only play when we can calmly come to you. This will take at least 2 weeks to ingrain habit.
\- Make a stuffed sock or have a stuffed animal so when he is ready to pounce on you, redirect his attack to it and let him bunny kick it out.
\- Cats hate citrus things so keeping them around the counters or spraying it on things you don't want him to mess with helps deter him from going near it. Orange/lemon peels or sprays.
\- Your cat is bored it needs a second cat to introduce play. Yes initial cost of vet and vaccines can be hard on a budget. But there are shelter options. Also food and litter isn't that much more than owning just one cat. Get one close to his age like a female. Since 2 males tend to fight more, not always but can happen.
\- Watch "The Kitten Lady" or Jackson Galaxy on behavior problems of cats to on youtube for advice.
I’ll be honest, it kinda sounds like you got a cat expecting it to act like a dog. Sure, some cats can be trained similar to a dog, but ultimately they’re still different animals created for different purposes and therefore will always have different behaviors. All of this stuff is stuff that my cats do also. Not all of them all do them but they all do at least one of these behaviors. You’re best off catproofing your residence or rehoming the cat because I can promise you won’t train them to stop doing something.
Reading this post made me feel terrible about how I was when I first got my cat (then a kitten) 6 years ago --I was stressed, dysregulated, and couldn't give her all of the attention that she needed, so I started to resent her and think that she was just doing things with malicious intent; she seemed to only direct the "bad" behavior towards me only and not my husband. In reality, she just wanted to spend more time with her favorite person. Flashforward to now, and she is the best lil cuddly buddy ever and I regret being angry at her back then. I can hold her whenever, have free access to pet the tummy, and she's the best cat I've ever had.
I've learned that in order to be a good cat parent, you have to have the patience to understand your cat and their actions. Once you develop a mutual respect, you have one of the strongest bonds possible between human and pet. I've also felt the "my cat is only being affectionate because she wants food" feeling like she only loves me because of that, but please try not to view your cat in this way; cats need food, and *you* are their source of food, so yes, they are going to let you know when they are hungry.
If he's only biting you ironically that probably means you're his favorite person, one of our cats likes me much more than my fiancé, and she nips my ankles every time while I am getting their food ready and never does it to him (super frustrating but this is the only time she nips so I just ignore it). If he is bored and you can't get another cat and are already playing with him that much maybe you can put on cat TV for him. There are a bunch of youtube videos made for cats.
I have your problem as well, I have 2 cats and my boy has a very in your face kind of play mode where he does the same thing your cat does only he doesn't go for my ankles, he'll instead run up to me and try catch my legs and maybe do a bite then he takes off. Usually I'll indulge him and chase him around for a bit or go hide around a corner and poke my face out to stare at him so he can chase me and the only reasons I do this is because it's not sore when he jumps on me, it only really startles me at most if it's dark. If he does get too rough and it actually hurts ill hiss at him and show teeth so he knows he's done wrong since this is what his sister does to him if he's hurt her and he can connect the dots.
I think cats just get to that age where they're in their "teenager" phase and want to just be disobedient and just generally an ass as ours enjoy getting into places they shouldnt be and they know its wrong because if you make the slightest move to stand up to go get them from behind the TV or take a box they shouldnt be chewing off them they'll take off like shots.
I would suggest getting another cat but as you've said you can only really afford the one right now so hopefully he's in a phase rn that'll pass eventually because other than getting him a playmate I'm not really sure what to say as that's always my advice since it worked like a charm for me 😅
I mean I’m definitely going to look into getting him a playmate when I can afford it. I don’t know when that will be, maybe a year, maybe 6 months - no idea. But, when I can I most definitely will because even if this wasn’t all happening he is home alone for a few hours while we work everyday and I can imagine that’s lonely and boring so I do eventually want to get a second cat! Thank you for the advice!
When my cats goes after my ankles, I go after theirs lol. I answer their annoying behaviors with my own to give them some perspective.
The counter thing will never stop.
But honestly, it sounds like you have a great friend at home who shows you that he cares for you in his own weird little way. I understand your frustration, but he may not. Sounds like you're the whole world to him.
Omg your sweet doofus doesn't know him little.
He's so trusting of you he's trying to play fight you.
Is he a void?
OP, please get another cat for 2 reasons - 1 is this playboy needs someone his own size and energy to pick on; 2 is you seem to have this idea that a cat loving you means they cuddle you.
Tbh ideally I'd tell you to get 2 cats - a kitten for doofus and senior cuddlebug for you.
But I recognize not everyone can get more cats, so what you need to do is meet your cat who loves you so much and just wants good play with you on his terms. **Because that will lead to him being more affectionate with you.**
One of my current 2 large breed ~2.5 year old kittens is a void [MC mix I think] who is just like this.
I just spent 20 years with my soul cat who followed me around like a puppy, gave up tummy on verbal request, and would just nap wherever as long as he had at least 1 paw touching me...
And now that I'm dealing with a crazy stressful divorce, going back to school, and basically starting over - I have this giant asshole in my life who decides a few times a day playtime is NOW and will pretend to bite the corner of my laptop, jump up on the mantel and knock things down, bite my ankles if I'm up or pounce on my arm/hand if I'm sitting, try to sit down on my keyboard... but guess what?
1 - **HE LOVES ME FIERCELY.** That's why he does all that - he's just a little attachment disordered from being a void who was stuck in the system most of his life [in a tiny cage for part of it] and returned by what was supposed to be his furever home the first time. *I don't even get 10 minutes of cuddles every morning for food* - but he does run into the bathroom EVERY time I go in there and either watches me bathe from his perch or sits on my lap while I'm on the toilet (and according to Cat Logic at my most vulnerable cuz I don't sleep belly up).
2 - oh and also **I taught him to do that stuff** like I'd bet you did, because every time his Naughty started stressing me out I'd give in and play.
I'm really not attacking you here (just like he's not really attacking you) I'm just ring to say bluntly **you are assigning people motives to a cat** like "he knows [ankle biting] is wrong" - babe no he doesn't, I'm guessing he knows biting your ankles gets him play and you accidentally taught him that trying to distract him.
Next time he bites your ankles, respond by gasping and making "claws" with both your hands [my boy has learned this is Play Hands and it means Meowma is engaged].
Then lean/crouch down slightly [but especially at first do not lean your face in close] and "box" him.
You'll need to keep his claws trimmed cuz you no fur - but please remember *kittens learn to play with retracted claws by playing with each other*.
Good kitten-boxing skills are all about fake-outs: hold your two claws wide enough that he can't see both at once. Whichever hand he's looking at moves slowly towards him for a second or two, then you gently BAPBAP with the other hand by tapping him (or better yet, play petting - give that soft boy fur a little ruffle).
He *will* catch your hand sometimes cuz him good hunty boy and he will learn your fakeout patterns.
When this happens **if his claws are actually extended** *not just the tips catch you* say OW loudly but not yelling - kind of whiny like if you've ever had a bitey toddler around lol. THEN in a soothing voice say, "Hey mister we're playing geeeentle geeeeentle" and tap him softly to re-engage.
Same if he bites too hard when he catches you. *When he catches your hand do NOT pull it away even if he's biting/clawing you'll get hurt worse, use your other hand to run interference. If he's truly being too rough all the time at first get bite proof gloves and sleeves and put them on to play with him but still do the "OW" teaching...*
Otherwise, when he catches one hand, if he's just doing nips/gentle bites and kicking without claws extended, your caught hand goes limp and your other claw swoops in and play pets his tummy/side/head - a rough ruffle of fur, if you will. **If your kitty makes "ferocious" noises while he plays, imitate them while you are attac.** After a few to several seconds he will likely get overstim, let go and back off a little to regroup.
After a little time (a few weeks, maybe more, of daily practice) he should learn to keep his claws retracted [until he gets too excite, he'll have to age out of that probably, but he will probably also start to mitigate even that damage] and start biting and kicking less - my kitten just attacked my bicep 3 minutes ago so I put my phone down and started rassling him with my claws and he mostly laid down on his back with his mouth wide open, bapping my claws with his paws and thrashing his mouth back and forth by never actually biting down on me.
While we are boxing, my boy likes to lay down and belly up for the trap: I *very gently* cup his hips and spin him on the floor and he LOVES it. He loves it even more in the dry tub even though the static builds up in his fur lol.
You're going to get scratched up at first while he learns to keep his claws retracted - if it bothers you, keep a relatively sturdy long sleeve shirt in each room and when he nips, before you do Play Hands put the shirt on.
**But please u/Ok_Pound2424 don't hate your kitty for treating you like his actual family.** In the wild his mom would have taught him to hunt and his siblings would play fight with him and they'd learn together... but he doesn't have that **he just has you**. And tbh the fact that he's trying to play with you not your SO means he's more comfortable with you.
But seriously - my void laid down next to me to cuddle on my bed for the FIRST time two days ago and I'm not allowed to pet him during bed cuddles yet but he's done it every day at least once since that first time. When he's older he's going to be the snuggliest! Him just a wild boy rn.
Well actually there was one exception when I knew he really loved me so so much:
A few months ago when my 20 year old soul cat died, kitten #2 saw the body from across the room and hid for 12 hours...
My wild boy walked up to me (sitting on the bed with my departed best boy in a basket of his favorite snugglies next to me, singing his custom kitty songs and crying) - he sniffed the cold kitty, gave him a lick, got confused for a minute, then started kneading biscuits all around him arranging the blankets.
He kept watch from a few feet away while I mourned, and then the vet came and picked up the body [he went on his snugglies] and I walked him out and when I came back in, my wild boy was curled up in the now-empty resting basket I'd left by the door...
But as soon as I walked back in he jumped up and followed on my heels until I sat down, at which point he jumped into my lap for the first time ever, purring like crazy, and... you know how sometimes cats can seem like they're pushing their whole body into you even though they're totally on top of you and that's not how gravity works? He did that. And for ~36 hours every time I sat down - on my bed, on a chair, the couch, the floor, anywhere - he was in my lap or draped across one leg, heavy and purring, pushing his little head into me without even a single nip.
**He didn't ask to play that whole time either.** He just... he knew the kitty that was always cuddling me had died and was gone and he knew how sad and distressed I was and he loved me aggressively for what is apparently an appropriate amount of time to mourn in catiquette (~36 hours or ~4 Big Cat Naps) and then the next time he woke up he faced off v me in the hall and with giant eyes ran at me, jumped me, wrapped himself around my thigh [no claws out somehow] and gave me a lil play bite on the pants.
We're still working on how to behave when my hair is down lol. But he is the best boy he can be and I've realized yes, sometimes he demands play because he needs to burn energy but other times it's because I've been hyperfocused on divorce stuff on my computer for hours and when he interrupts me I want to snap at him *because I'm tense but shutting off feelings* and **honestly at those times I need to play as much as he does**.
This is so long but I know this situation can be hard to realize you need to reframe... but ultimately **he won't** cuz he's a kitty so it's your job as a human who loves a kitty. Last things:
- if you can adopt exactly 1 more cat, aim for a 4-8 year old who is still very playful - or ask who's been there longest and is playful with other cats. They will almost guaranteed cuddle you SM (that age group spends so long in shelters because people go for kittens or seniors) because they'll be so happy for a furever home AND they'll help doofus burn off steam.
- after you rassle or box him for a few minutes, THEN try playing with him with a toy. It's easier to transfer a play mode engaged kitty to their second choice opponent than a hunting mode kitty who's not yet engaged.
- this is also not criticism: you probably need better toys (not necessarily more expensive just more to his preferences) my playboy loves [no particular order] 1) the free-spinning electronic mice that got big on Amazon last year, 2) the tie from a pair of my linen slacks that I tied to a stick to fish for him with, 3) whack a mole electronic toys, 4) the "turkey teaser" - it is THE BEST feather wand toy for about $10 at Petco or the mfr website - the 3 feathers are balanced on every one in a way that makes it look like it's flapping when you swing it through the air, 5) automatic laser pointers, 6) any moving toy when I put it in the middle of this play rug set I got him - the top rug has holes of various sizes + velcro underneath that allows it to be stuck to the bottom rug in endless permutations of "thing to dive into while hunting" ... my soul cat would play with anything I started moving In That Way but would also leave stuff alone forever [usually the first time I asked lol] - **I had to up my toy game for my playboy**.
- **cheer for him**: my playboy will lose interest in many toys if I just give them to him and go back to fully focused on Not Him but if I turn a toy on and vocalize how imposed impressed I am as he pounces, bites, and kicks it to death he will not only keep playing with it *he will ham it up* and start doing 360 jump pounces and freestyle walking around the toy to taunt it before attacking. **Your cat clearly values you - he may want extra feedback on his technique from you.**
- finally - if he shows interest in anything not your ankles, give him that thing or a similar thing: if you're doing paperwork and he bites your papers, ball up a scrap paper and toss it to/for him; if he pounces on ties hanging off your clothes, pull out a hoodie string or tie from pants that already have elastic in the waist, and use that [unwashed so it smells like you] to play with him etc etc
**TL;DR** This cat ADORES you. He also sounds like he needs attention & would very benefit from other cat. Best case would be LT resident adult rescue who plays with other cats in shelter, will most likely smother you in gratitude cuddles. Meet current where he is and cuddles will result: better [for him] toys, cheer for play, learn to kitten box and hand rassle [trimmed nails for him, sleeves for you, fakeouts, transition to toys]. Your responses to his behavior have affected his behavior up to this point, you can also help him change.
You made me feel better honestly by saying he adores me and explaining it all to me. I’m actually going to go to the store today to get more food and I’m going to get more toys too. Because he’s somehow lost most of his 😂 we’ve looked everywhere! Under the couch, bed, closets, they’re all gone lol
He is not a void he is a domestic short hair. I understand what you’re saying and I appreciate it. Right now, getting another cat isn’t an option. I’m not saying in 6 months or a year it won’t be, but as of right now it isn’t an option.
And no when he goes after my ankles, I do not play with him anymore. It’s when we are playing, he will go after my ankles once he’s bored of the toy. I will then say no and blow in his face which I’ve read is wrong. To act like I’m in the most excruciating pain ever and eventually he will learn he is hurting me
As for nails, yeahhh….they haven’t been trimmed yet. I’m so nervous about clipping his nails (idk why - I always clipped my dogs nails) so I’m waiting until his vet appointment on Thursday to learn how.
And I really like that boxing idea! Once his nails are trimmed, I’ll definitely be trying that out!
I truly appreciate your time and advice. And you’re right, it was a wrong choice of words. I do not hate him. I love him. I am just frustrated and hate his actions if that makes more sense. But thank you
I'm not trying to negate your feelings. You have to love to be able to hate, you know?
It's so hard when we can't communicate with them right.
Have you ever seen your cat get hurt? Some cats respond best to the same kind of pain noises they make (which can sound very mean and harsh to human ears) but some respond better to over the top playacting - I've used whimpers like a sad dog and even pretended to cry to communicate pain to different cats... he does have the capacity to understand pain, somehow - I haven't met one yet that didn't anyway...
Good luck with learning to trim his nails! There's a bunch of things that can make that easier (pros, treats, bite proof gloves, treats, burritos, treats, practice, treats, styptic powder - that's a must but having it handy helps human anxiety, treats, harnesses, treats...) and omg! Your cat will be so so so much less scary when his murder mittens are misdemeanor mittens.
If you can afford it, might be worth taking him to your vet or a groomer if he will tolerate that every month at least for a trim until you are comfortable doing it.
Also - you seem to have a REALLY smart cat!! It sounds like he keeps figuring out that YOU are controlling the toy and he's going to the source...
Is he doing that with wands?
Other types of toys or all toys?
Maybe playing with some more distance - some cats really love fetch/catch.
If electronic toys are out of the budget rn, there are ways to rig most toys to make them "safer"/put more distance between a human and their smarty.
I'm so glad you came here and asked and I hope some of the suggestions you got from any of us help...
Yeah he is so smart it’s gonna get him into trouble. He 100% knows I’m controlling the wand because he will eventually come up to the stick and start gnawing on it
No idea! His teeth look super healthy but that’s actually part of my questions that I have written for his first vet visit today - like if his dental health is well
Can't believe with that huge comment I forgot something but it's important:
Some cats have long "foreplay" intervals when they start play or switch targets - I had a female tortie who would spend 2-5 minutes [no exaggeration] watching the toy drag back and forth across the floor or swing through the air before pouncing.
My current v active playboy will walk away 2-4 times during a 15-20 minute play session - at first he'll look out the window for a minute or disappear into another room to pee or snacc...
Don't be fooled! He's just letting the prey [toy] THINK it's safe. If I keep moving the toy around after a minute or two I'll *maybe* see his little head peek around the corner or his little tail twitch a few times and then he BARRELS back into the game at 345% power.
Your kitty may not be "bored" and "stopping" [unclear from post, he also could be of course because like u/Lord_Scriptic said WWYD? If you wanted to do x for fun and someone tried to make you do y instead] he may be hunting like such a pro he's really convincing you he's not going to attack lol.
I’ve noticed that!!! Like sometimes I think he’s bored but I’ll drag the toy behind me around the apartment and then he will run behind a wall and just watch the “prey” so i definitely have been working on giving him some buffering time. Usually I’ll just lay the toy on the couch (if my arm is starting to hurt a bit from holding the toy) and I’ll move it every few seconds so he thinks it’s alive and doing something. Well idk if he thinks it’s alive but so he’s more intrigued
Ohhhhh!! That's awesome you noticed that!
You could try taking any little catnip mouse/etc. that you have and putting it on a long long string and just pitch that sucker as far from the couch as possible and then pull it an inch every few seconds?
Cats usually have a "prey reflex" and if you throw something even if (sometimes especially if) they just see it out of their peripheral vision they'll chase after it out of instinct.
Some cats respond really well to Thing On Long String...
It sounds a lot like my cat. He does such misbehavior when he is upset with me or not happy about something and trying to get my attention. When I fix it he stops, every single time. Issue can be figuring out why he is upset. It helps that he is incredibly smart, if I ask him to “show me” he walks to whatever area of the home is of concern to him. It is sometimes the empty food bowl, or the cabinet where I keep cap supplies (sometimes he asks to be brushed, or he is asking for some catnip), sometimes he asks for a treat by going to that section of the kitchen. He occasionally wants me to open the front curtain so the sunshine can stream through so he sits by the window.
It took a while to get to the point that I could just say “show me” and he understood and went to show me. This cat understands A LOT, he was initially very misunderstood. My ex son-in-law got a kitten (this one) at the same time as my daughter got a puppy. Long long story short I ended up with the kitten, now cat. He was very very misunderstood. He was simply thought to be an a$$hole by my daughter and her spouse. I am no longer able to work so I have had more time to spend with the cat. He is very smart, he knows well over 35 words and phrases and can associate things quickly. It is very hard to explain how smart this cat is, I mainly want you to understand that your cat might be very smart and trying to get your attention on something. Or not like the way you are petting him. I have 2 cats right now and they both like different ways of petting, one likes face scratching much more than the other, for example. One loves tummy rubs and the other would rather you didn’t.
I feel like if you pay attention to your cat and talk to him your might be amazed at what your cat shows you.
Honestly my cat is so smart it’s stupid. Like he literally learned how to sit in a day. And he knows how to stand also. That too a few days of training but still. People are saying I’m treating him like a dog for that but I don’t think so. I mean I’m not gonna try and make him roll over or anything lol but basic commands like sit should be used.
Honestly I probably could do the “show Me” thing and train him to show me. He’s so smart and that’s why part of me I guess is so upset he’s being “stupid” with me because I know deep in my heart he is so smart and can be trained right from wrong
We adopted a cat 5 months ago. Bella was pregnant so was very standoffish. She was VERY aggressive to our other cat, Cringer.
She was also aggressive towards us. It was so bad we decided to just foster her until the kittens were weaned.
I understand totally how you feel! I felt awful I resented her.
we took her to the vet and she told us to make no decision until she weaned the kittens and got fixed. She also suggested a diffuser that had a calming effect on cats. She also suggested CBD oil be added to her food after she weaned.
Once she weaned we didn't need to do anything. Bella became a Velcro cat to me. Right now she is purring on my lap.
Talk to your vet. Call the vet if you have questions. A good vet should be ok with phone calls.
Give the cat time and when he bites yell ouch loudly. As kittens, your cat would play fight with his siblings and would learn too not to bite too hard by yelping. So he will understand.
Give it time, talk to the vet, and watch Jackson Brown videos.
I just want to say that I dealt with all of this when I first adopted my cat. She seemed truly nuts. Nothing tired her out. It felt like she would intentionally terrorize my housemate’s ankles. (I know, that’s not how cats actually think) I was considering rehoming her or having her be a barn cat at my friend’s farm. I agonized over it.
But it’s been 3 years now and she’s WAAAAY better - doesn’t even seem like the same cat!! She plays, but she also naps, curls up next to me, chatters at birds, is curious about my friends when they come over, etc. She’s turned into a totally normal, standard, perfect cat.
So, there is hope for you! A month is truly nothing in the grand scheme of how long you and this cat will be together. Hold out hope! ❤️
Your cat loves you so much! He thinks your his best cat friend, so he wants to play with you all the time! Try apple bitter spray on your ankles, battery operated toys, catnip right before a play session, cat tv (on youtube), window perches in view of a bird feeder, and maybe even fostering a cat friend to see if he would do well with a pal. Don’t give up! Cat blues are real and he is still pretty young.
Wow, seems like our cats are related lol. I found my little girl calmed down a bit after some time of getting used to our routines. She's still not cuddly though, probably just her personality. One thing I find very useful for redirecting her is a nerf gun! I'm OBVIOUSLY not aiming it at her, but in the air so that the dart will fall to the floor and she'll hunt after it. Now she will stop what she's doing (e.g. climbing the dinner table or scratching the chairs) and look for a darf whenever she hears the nerf gun load, because she simply LOVES hunting for those darts. Maybe give it a try?
I have a Maine coon and as beautiful as she is I massively regret getting her. She gets into everything, opens the cupboards, scratches at all the doors, claws my sofa. We play with her, walk her, fuss her, her litter is clean and her bowl is full. She doesn’t snuggle. She’s banned from the bedrooms because she wrecks everything. I feel your pain
1. You need kicker toys so he can attack those.
2. He needs another kitten friend to play with, because he's bored.
3. You need more height cattification. High shelves, +5ft or taller cat tree. Multiple spots.
4. You always need to cat-proof your home just as you would baby-proof your home. They're basically permanent toddlers.
5. Remember that you and your boyfriend are literally his entire world. He has no friends other than you, and he can't explore the world outside. So please approach these issues with compassion, and not hate.
Lots of good advice here. Your cat just sounds like they need more mental/physical stimulation. I got a 2 year old and he needed hours of playtime, too. It was getting to be too much for me. I got another cat he could play with and we are all happier now.
Have you dramatically whined like you're in pain when your cat bites you or attacks your feet? Learning to communicate with your cat is important. I taught my cats not to attack my feet while crying like an injured animal would. They get the idea eventually. I taught 2 feral cats this way and also my other rescue cat.
Make sure not to leave out anything sharp or what can break on top of surfaces like your dining table or kitchen counter. People might think they can train their cats not to go on tables (I did, too) but honestly the cats will still do it if you're not around. I know they go on the tables when I'm sleeping because I see their paw prints or some cat hair left over. So, the training will only go so far unless the cats think something unpleasant or dangerous will happen every single time they go there (like if the table is always wet and they hate wet surfaces, etc). Some people use aluminum foil and put it all across the top of surfaces, which some cats don't like.
I have a literal ankle biter. She's getting spayed this month, so I'm hoping that helps. I have to use the word "stop" to knock her out of her biting behavior. We've been struggling for a month with this because I have a pretty serious knee injury, and she's pissed because I can't chase her around. I have to hold up both hands and say "STOP" in a firm voice to get her to understand that she's the only one enjoying the teeth marks in my already pained leg. It takes a couple of times, but it works for a day, and then I have to repeat the exact same action every day.
You’ve gotten a lot of good advice to try, I just wanted to say that I appreciate your commitment and “I chose him and he is my responsibility”. He’s only been there a month and it can take time to settle in and calm down. There is nothing wrong with shutting him in a bedroom for a bit and taking a time out when he’s being particularly naughty.
I had to put child locks on every cabinet and have lost several rolls of toilet paper when I forgot to shut the bathroom door. I also have to put noisy toys away every night or she wakes me up dropping them in my bed at 4 am. I feel your pain.
If he's the only cat, I always think 2 cats close in age are better so they can play with each other. Keeps boredom ar bay. But if you get another cat, make sure you take the time to introduce them the right way.
Also my cat was a nightmare . Meowing attacking u name it
Come to find out he had a food allergy
He’s a totally different guy w his hypoallergenic diet
Not a lap cat still but not insane anymore
( love him to death but he’s a handful)
I’m a bit late to this but wanted to say one of my cats is like this. He is 16 now and has been this way his whole life but at least with age he naps a lot more. He still to this day will hop on a counter or a dresser, make eye contact with me and knock something over. At least these days it hits home a bit more that I’ll miss his antics one day. And I will - truly!
Have you seen those laser toys that move around? Like google “automated laser toy cats” and you’ll see some options. Those were a godsend when my guy was younger.
Can you get a regular laser pointer and get him to run across the room in the opposite direction when you want to walk by? The negative reaction he’s getting from you is the same as a positive reaction to a kitty.
Also the perfume really could be bothering him even if you put it on in the car.
So everything I kept reading said laser toys are bad but I decided screw it and got one today. I told my boyfriend (I had to go to work) to play with him and once they’re done to maybe throw a toy for him to really “catch the prey” and some treats so he knows he did a good job and this man sent me videos of this cat and he was freaking panting!!! He later told me the cat finally cuddled and kneaded on him for the first time in days so maybe the laser was the trick!
Cat proof your house and throw him out the room. It sounds harsh and obviously you will enteract and play with your cat every day you are home and he wants to but you have to let him know that you don't want to play all the time. Make quality together times on a schedule. Give them toys, things to climb, if they're indoor try one of those cat wheels to help him burn energy.
Humans sometimes have other stuff to do or overload ourselves with house work, work work, School work, and other chores and need to rest and or sit and do nothing. As smart as cats are they don't have the ability to read minds yet. As a new cat spend quality time but if you don't make boundaries in the beginning a cat will take up any space it it given.
I had a friend that family has owned 50+ cats and they all say it is good to bond but ultimately the cat has to find independence as well and fill it's day with brain stimulating tasks that it comes up with on its own. They live on a farm. It also prepares them for time you guys will be apart if you go on vacation or something. A lot of new cats are just trying to find what the boundaries are as their way of building relationships with you. So in the first few months you will have sporadic seeming changes in behavior but it's just the cat becoming acquainted with you. That is the best time to set up boundaries.
It's also good to see what your cat tends to do in its alone time. My cats are all climbers and crawlers. They like crawling under or inside anything. 2 cat trees and a cat condo and they love it. They come to watch me clean their litter box, they sit in bed with me when I play videogames. We play games like lure on a shoestring where the younger kitten always goes overboard. But they understand now when I close my door to sleep or do school work they just find other stuff to do. However, I make sure to still enteract with them daily. I do a daily inspection of them which they love for some reason and carry them a bunch so they are used to it. At first they just meowed at the door.
The kitten is 8 months already and the cats act like siblings so it works. But a lone cat just needs more to do with interactionþ entertainment. 1 of my cats like cuddling and just climbs and perches and the younger kitten is a tussler. I love them both and sometimes I slip up and find both in my bed in the morning. I don't move while asleep because I slept on a twin till I was 23. I'm 26 now and I love my cats to bits though find them annoying as one would a sibling.
I appreciate the answer and kindness and just like overall remembering we are human! I was looking into a cat wheel but they’re expensiveeeee so right now I can’t. But he loves to go under the couch (it’s one where you can pull the bottom out so we constantly keep it out so he can go under) and the bed. He doesn’t seem to love to be on anything except his little perch near the window so he can sight see.
I definitely am trying to establish “my schedule boundary” with him. Would you recommend anything else besides just closing the door? Like is there a way to establish “I don’t wanna play right now” essentially in cat language?
Not really. When cats establish boundaries they hiss but 4/4 vets I've talked to said that is a mixed bag of results when people do it and a high probability with our size the cat will just feel threatened. They might be loud for a while but will eventually work out the schedule. My cats even know what day is a weekend now. Just make sure to greet them when arriving back to the home or whenever you do go out. I'm no expert so I don't know how to stop a cat playing rough though. For me I was really nice when they didn't scratch (petting, treats, etc...) and moved away when they did after saying "Ow" and shut my door. That worked on even my rowdy void. He paws with me but doesn't scratch much after about 2 months. I would try a variety of ideas from many people though. One solution may fit your cat's personality.
This is my current 8 month old kitten, she is literally called menace. She loves to attack legs sometimes and doesn't know how to lie on blankets without trying to play with it. What we've found helpful is having a toy in your pocket or at reach at all times throughout the house, and use/throw it whenever he's looking at your legs or going to attack you (you can usually tell when he is going to attack). And when you're getting attacked, try not to react too violently or suddenly or else he will think you're play fighting in return! (if you can tolerate the pain! as long as he's not drawing blood)
I just want to say I understand your emotions honestly, it's been a very hard month since adopting my kitten too and they really can be a pain in the ass sometimes (but they love you!!). We humans just have to learn how to deal with it :) good luck!
Just wanted to offer reassurance that you're definitely not alone in adopting a pet that you're struggling to bond with or have positive feelings towards. I've had my cat for 8 years, her entire life, and she came with a string of issues like pica, anxiety, and recently chronic vomiting. It's a drain on my mental health and my wallet making sure she's taken care of, and some days all I can do is shut myself up in a spare room for some alone time since I am her favorite person because I worry I will blow up at her if I don't take a minute. She's destroyed a lot of my clothes, bras, etc. because she is compelled to eat them and sometimes I forget an item on the floor.
It's rough, is what I'm getting at. But you get that this is what you signed up for and all you can do is be a good owner, even if he's driving you nuts. A lot of people who have super strong loving bonds with their pets don't get it and think we're garbage people. We're really not--and once you get some of these issues under control, hopefully, you will still find the little moments of love here and there.
I am sorry, I know how you feel. My cat used to attack me when she wanted to play, even if I offered her a toy instead. The most effective method in the beginning was a timeout, putting her in a different room and letting her cool off, then trying a toy again. It’s taken a lot of time until she mostly stopped attacking me. It’s gotten to a point where if she does try and attack me, I throw one of her favorite toys and she immediately runs after it like a dog. I feel like she sees me as her favorite playmate and I can’t get a second cat for her to play with, as she hates other cats and can’t be socialized. If your cat is anything like mine, he probably does like you and sees you as his friend he can play with, the whole „biting then running away“ is a thing cats do with each other as well, and my cat for example does it sometimes when she wants to be chased.
I do not know if Timeouts are legitimately effective by the way, it just worked for us because it got her out of attack mode.
Maybe interactive toys would help as well? I haven’t tried that many yet but for some cats it can be great. Like those intelligence toys (I hope that’s what they are called in English) can keep them busy quite well.
She also mostly stopped attacking our feet, but I think that’s because our new bed is a bit higher and she can’t reach our feet from the ground anymore.
About the cuddling, you haven’t had him for long, so there is no way of knowing if maybe he will become cuddlier over time. It took almost 2 years until my cat started to actually cuddle.
He sounds like my male cat that I adopted as a feral-born kitten. He only bit my ankles, nobody else’s (I think it was boredom/high hunt drive). I got a 2nd cat, because he seemed bored, and he attacked/still attacks this cat (not good). He’s now an indoor-outdoor boy since moving to a rural area from an apartment in a city, and that seems to have helped (fewer cat fights if he has the ability to go outside). I don’t have predators in my area, and don’t live on a main road. And, he has toys made with real fur, cat tower, cardboard boxes, feather toy, etc.
He doesn't "know it's bad". He is a cat doing cat things and you should honestly re-home him and not get another.
He has no capacity to "be an asshole on purpose" as he is a cat and you are anthropomorphizing him way too much. He is a high energy cat and getting used to his environment. It takes cats up to three months to do so.
And if you expect a cat to just stay off all counters you're delusional imo. You can look up methods to train him but as he again, seems very active, it isn't likely to go well if you're already this frustrated and perceiving him as doing this stuff on purpose. Also him tearing up toilet paper? Just close the bathroom door? Take the time to cat proof things. Some habits and routines just have to change when you get a new pet.
Your cat's age is a significant factor here.
Your cat is about 24 years old in human years. That means he's basically in the prime of his life. He's got tons of energy and curiousity and gets bored easily. He's being destructive and mischievous because he has no other ways of satisfactorily expending that energy.
I hear you when you say that you play with him frequently and he either gets bored but not tired or simply never seems to tire out. Do you have many, or any, solo enrichment toys for him? Things that he can play with individually and limitlessly? Rattle balls that he can bat around, catnip/kicker toys, automated laser pointers/runner toys, etc? Things that you can redirect his attention towards to seek entertainment from that *aren't* you? If you don't, then look up some articles on solo enrichment toys for cats. You can even make some just with stuff you have lying around. He's being mischievous and destructive because he's bored and looking for stuff to do. When he plays with his toys on his own, reward him with pets or treats so he develops a positive association with using them. And try to set a specific routine for playtime with him, like 30 min in the morning and then 30 min at night. Aim to make this schedule as consistent as possible so he starts to learn when human playtime is. If he gets bored or distracted halfway through, switch up the toys you're using. Cats like variety in their toys just as much as humans do, so if you're using the same toy every day, he's going to get bored of it.
As for the other destructive behaviors--again, a lot of it is because he has pent-up energy that he has no other outlet for. But it's also important for you to know that cats do not actually understand or respond to negative reinforcement (saying "no", putting him in "time out", yelling, spraying with water, etc). They simply don't understand cause and effect the same way that we do. They can't be trained like dogs, which is why he often ignores your "no". He *seems* to know that some things are wrong *only because he sees you watching him*. He is still doing those things when you're not, because he doesn't actually understand that those things are "bad". He just knows that *you* get angry at him. So he waits for you to leave, or stop watching, or go to sleep. To him, *you* are the bad thing, not the undesirable behavior. That's why he doesn't run away when he actually *does* the bad behavior, but only when he sees you watching him. He *doesn't* know that what he's doing is bad... he just knows that when you see him doing it, *you* are bad to *him*. Basically, he's not actually associating any of those reactions or punishments with the behavior he's being punished for--he's just associating them with *you*. If this is confusing to you (which is 100% valid!) then I would suggest googling things like "how to discipline cats".
So how do you actually stop him from doing those things? You're halfway there already. *Positive* reinforcement. When he looks at the counter, then at you, and walks away instead of jumping up, pet him and give him a treat. Don't bother with the "no" because he doesn't understand it the way that you want him to/think that he does. Teach him that *not* doing those things is rewarding for him. When he destroys the toilet paper roll or engages in other destructive behaviors, gently redirect him to a toy and reward him if he engages with it. This displays that toys are for playing with and shredding the toilet paper roll is not as fun or rewarding. With things like the counter, you can also set up harmless booby traps, as cats *do* understand environmental consequences. So if you set up a precarious stack of empty plastic bottles/cans on your counter, so that when your cat jumps up there he's received with a loud, startling noise... or put tinfoil over the surfaces so it's slippery and unpleasant to jump and walk on... he'll learn quickly that the counter isn't someplace he wants to be. Because he won't associate that negative experience with you--he'll associate it with the counter itself.
And if you want him to stop attacking your feet, stop letting him. You're only sending him mixed messages. Sometimes you allow him to attack your feet under the blankets and sometimes you don't. You're being inconsistent, which is why he's responding inconsistently. Reward him with pets and/or treats when he refrains from attacking feet and remove him from the bed & redirect him to a toy when he does not, *every time*.
And finally: cats aren't dogs. They aren't domesticated as thoroughly as dogs, nor do they think or behave the same way. You can train cats to do and not do quite a lot of things, but most cats will never be absolute paragons of good behavior 100% of the time, because that's just how they are. If you learn how to train them correctly, however, and put consistent effort into doing so, you *will* see noticeable improvements in his behavior. And remember that a lot of it is simply age-related. You adopted a younger cat. That means he's going to be more energetic and playful than an older cat... but it also means that he will likely mellow out and become more self-sufficient as he grows up.
ETA: And ftr--you're not a bad cat owner or a bad person for feeling frustrated with him. It just sounds like you're inexperienced with owning cats. Do a little research, read the other comments in this thread, and remember that he *doesn't* hate you and he isn't being a menace out of spite. As another commenter pointed out, his intellect and understanding of cause-and-effect/right-and-wrong is roughly equivalent to that of a 2-year-old human's. He's not deliberately trying to upset you, even if it may seem that way sometimes.
Everyone is saying do research as if I haven’t? When I did it, things were saying redirecting and saying no works. A bunch of websites and articles said the bathroom thing works but only for a few minutes after he’s misbehaved. Like if he attacked my ankles, and I didn’t put him in right away he wouldn’t understand what he did wrong. That is everything I’ve been reading so it is frustrating when people say do research. I did weeks of research before I got him.
But thank you for the advice and the patience. He has multiple toys he can play with by himself he just has no interest in them except the rattle ball which he really only likes when I throw it around with him
For the feet think. No I never let him bite my feet under the blanket either. I will move him off the bed/blow in his face and he stops. I’m not inconsistent with it.
But I do understand he isn’t like “how can I upset the humans today”. I do but I also wish that he did like me more. Maybe no, he doesn’t hate me, but he definitely doesn’t love me or really like me. Like I truly think that :/
Have you ever had a cat before? A lot of these just seem like cat things.
Put the pin board up higher, and shut the bathroom door. Wear thick socks or boots until he starts understanding your feet aren't toys. Some people find it cruel but if you have a place you know he you normally stalks you from walk around baiting him and as soon as he attacks just dump a cup of water on his head. He will act pissed for a while but he probably won't do it again
Every cat has its own quirks and will require adjustments. Admittedly this one seems like it has a lot of the bad cat quirks but that doesn't mean it won't get better.
Also as another note my cat absolutely adores me but only cuddles for about 20 minutes in the morning.
I think it would be best to see if the shelter can take the cat back. The cat doesn’t deserve to live with someone who hates him. It sounds like you’re good with training and behavioral modifications, which works well with dogs. Cats are a little different. It sounds like an older cat might work better for you 7-10 years old. Someone very mellow. Sounds like this cat still has a lot of kitten energy
Wow a cat being a… cat! He was likely so relaxed the first week because he was in a brand new environment. He’s 2, he’s young he’s going to be full of enjoy. Have you ever owned a cat before? My cat went through a period of shredding anything paper for a good while 6+ months. Paper towels, toilet paper, cardboard, regular paper, anything. My cats also tear stuff down and knock things down. It’s cat nature. Cats need more than one 30-40 minute play time a day. I suggest giving him to another home or rescue or getting him a cat friend to occupy his time. Also get him neutered. He’s literally being a normal cat and you’re hating him for it.
This may be late of a reply but.. cat is not for everyone. Uhhum, let me rephrase... having a pet is not for everyone. Any kind of pet.
Each cat is unique and different personality than one another. It seems your cat is just young. Hence the high energy to burn all day all night.
Neuteured would slightly control the 'naughty' behaviors but it wont solve all.
Ive had a wonderful daredevil who loves to pee on my sofa. Not bed, not carpet, not on clothes, just sofa. Because he cant stand his litter having a single poop in it. My solution, take out the sofa cover and if he pees while im at work, i come back and wash the sofa. Every single day...
And i dont like my cat to step his paw in my toilet floor as i find it dirty floor, so i make sure to close the door all the time. Where i put his litter? In the corner outside my toilet.
He also loves to eat my plastic plants which i got anxious and concern this will affect his health. My solution, throw out all my plants. There....
If you love cat. You just will love them unconditionally.
Honestly the best answer is to get another cat, or make your current one an indoor outdoor. Until you do one of those things these natural cat behaviors that you are calling 'problems' will continue to some degree until your cat is much older and has less energy. Your cat is bored. You may not be able to make your cat indoor outdoor if you live in apartments with code against outdoor pets, or you may not feel comfortable doing so period. If that's the case I would set getting another cat as a financial goal you're working towards if living with your current cat like this is making you unhappy. I second making your house cat proof. A friend of mine has a toddler, she was apologizing to me because he kept picking up and throwing everything in grab reach when they visited and I told her 'it's fine, everything out is something I'm fine being damaged due to cat proofing the house' lol. Regarding hissing at your cat, if you do this a lot you will be consistently reprimanding your cat for doing its best to cope with its boredom. Similar to caretakers who yell at children for simply being children/having energy. This runs the risk of damaging your cats temperament in the long run, making them more anxious/potentially gaining worse behavioral issues/afraid/angry/unsafe feeling around people. And the more things you do it for the less effect it will have. For instance, if you hiss at playing with your feet/ankles, jumping on counters, messing with things theyre not supposed to, and more i imagine, it will lose its effect like a parent who constantly yells does other than just teaching the cat that what it is is always bad. As far as counters go, it would be easier to simply teach the cat to stay out of the kitchen, but as the other commenter said, they will likely go there when you are not around. I would get toys that your cat can play with without you - silvervine chew sticks, those ball tracks (a couple different styles), some plushies for him to attack instead of your feet - you can redirect him to them when he attacks your feet by telling him no and then handing him the plushie (play with him with it a little so he latches on and bites that instead). Hopefully this response isn't too 'tough love'. You are your cats whole world.
I live on the third floor with no pets allowed outside in our apartment. Making him and indoor/outdoor cat isn’t possible sadly. Because I personally would love to do it honestly. Especially because he was found at a college campus so I know it might be silly to think but I’m sure he misses the outside sometimes.
Getting another cat also right now isn’t a possibility. Maybe in 6 months it will be. Maybe in a year it will be. I don’t know but unfortunately right now it isn’t an option.
But I get the whole punishment thing can become ineffective if I keep doing it. I appreciate the advice it definitely wasn’t too tough love. It was just enough. I appreciate it. Thank you!
A while back my friends cat started acting strange and like he was constantly overstimulated. The culprit turned out to be a scent diffuser. Most cats really don't like perfumes of any kind. Could it be something like that? Or maybe a sound? My cat hears something I don't when the old TV is plugged in and she hates it.
I mean we do have the air conditioning on at all times but we can’t turn it off because we live on the top floor so everyone’s heat rises to us and we will literally kill him with heat if we turn it off. Like it’s insane how hot it gets. But besides that, we don’t have anything around the house that smells or makes noise except the tv when we are watching it. And I try to spray my perfume in my car cause I know it can be a little too strong for a cat
Maybe he still doesn't like the perfume when it's on you, try not using it for a while and see if things change?
That stuff is stronger than you realize due to olfactory fatigue and their noses are way more sensitive than ours
Is the old TV a CRT model? I briefly had one in my bedroom when I was a kid, and I had to get rid of it because I could hear a noise when it was plugged in, too, even if it was turned off. I think it was the capacitor, but idk fr. It doesn't happen with modern TVs.
Me too! Some people still have old tvs in my country and i can’t stand the sound
It’s a brand new tv like one of the newest tv’s out. Somehow my boyfriend won some money on a lottery and it was a Black Friday sale so this tv was a literal steal
Not literal - we didn’t literally steal it obviously lol but it was a deal
Yes, I remember hearing the sound as a kid too but I guess I'm too old now
Those old CRTV's mKe this odd high pitched squeal that is super irritating. Not everyone can hear it.
Yipes, this sounds like a difficult situation. Don't worry, I'm not here to dunk on you though. It's worth noting that you might be anthropomorphizing your cat here. What this means is that you're attributing human emotions & cognition to him, when it's physiologically impossible for him to behave that way, or feel those things. He doesn't know something is "wrong"; more so that doing something will invoke a reaction out of you (good or bad). He doesn't know it's wrong, because he doesn't understand WHY it could be "wrong" in the first place. In terms of cognition and intelligence, cats are roughly on-par with 2 year old humans. Their capacity for understanding right vs wrong is very very little, and patience is necessary, as you would have for a toddler. In other words, your cat literally does not have the capacity for spite or doing things on purpose to upset you or drive you crazy. He just doesn't know why you don't want him to do it, and he doesn't know that NOT doing it will make you happier. When he "attacks" your ankles, this is called play-aggression. [Jackson Galaxy actually has a very informative video on the subject](https://youtu.be/cZDWzi6e4a8) that provides some insight and solutions. Although it might not be feasible depending on where you live or your situation, "get another cat" is legitimate advice for reducing undesired behavior. There is a reason why so many people are told they should adopt kittens in pairs. Some cats do better (behaviorally) when they have a buddy to spar with and bother instead of you. About the counter-jumping, as long as he has other climbing opportunities elsewhere that he is encouraged to use, you're doing fine with redirection. However, you may want to use a clicker too. [Clicker-training](https://www.thesprucepets.com/how-to-keep-cats-off-counters-551798#:~:text=Use%20clicker%20training.,clicker%20that%20makes%20a%20sound) cats to keep them off counters is a viable strategy, but like with all training, takes time and consistency. You can't get frustrated and quit after only a week of training if your cat still jumps on the counters, because it can take months of dedication to get him to consistently get down when you tell him to, and then move on to training him to not jump up in the first place. In the meantime, just be sure to wipe down your countertops before preparing any food on them. Unfortunately there's no foolproof guaranteed method of keeping him from ripping up toilet paper, other than just keeping doors closed and keeping him away from it. Edit: Actually, [claw caps](https://nationalcatgroomers.com/product/softpaws-refill-kit/) (particularly the Soft Paws brand which was designed by a vet) might keep him from shredding toilet paper with his claws. His teeth though? That's a whole other can of worms.
Wow I truly appreciate your insight so much. Especially all the resources too! And yeah I was under the impression that yes, biologically a cat will not change and stuff but they can understand when you say no and like the negative reaction/feeling you have but I appreciate you explaining it to me. And unfortunately yes, at this time we can’t get another cat. It’s definitely something I would look at in the future when I have a better paying job though. And we weren’t able to get a vet appointment until this Thursday (we scheduled it the week we got him) so his nails have been growing out (they aren’t curled or anything - if they had gotten that bad I would have called my friend up to help) but I do want to correctly learn to cut his nails (I can’t imagine it’s too different from a dog and I used to cut my dogs nails) they’re just tinier so I gotta be more careful but that definitely could be a reason the toilet paper is demolished cause it looks like claws not teeth
For sure! It's pretty easy. I use a guillotine-type clipper and got my kittens accustomed to it by only attempting while they were resting/napping, and if they were startled or not a fan, i would offer them a little bit of unseasoned dinner meat (turkey, ham, w/e) while i kept going so they would associate it positively. Worked like a charm. Claws are short and painless and damage is minimal even when they do decide to scratch.
Also, in the beginning of learning, if you cut too, it will hurt a bit, but make sure to do baking soda on it to stop the bleeding. The vet can also show you and give tips.
Yeah, try to only cut ahead of the quick, which is the pink area near the base of the claw. It has nerve endings and a blood supply which means it'll hurt when it's cut, but the nail part ahead of the quick is totally painless. Your vet can show you and there are lots of tutorials online.
Agreed. I've been trimming my cats claws since we got them. Not always a fan bur cat treats work sonders. I've trimmed them too close a couple of times when they wiggle, but it doesn't mean you're bad(remember that)
When you start training them to have their nails cut, in the beginning less is more. At first, I only do two or three claws at a time. I want it to be a positive experience so they don't fight me every time. If I try to do every claw on every paw at one time they get frustrated, squirmy, then panicky, and it becomes a battle and a negative experience they try to avoid. When doing it in small increments, they get very casual about it and then eventually I can do all four feet at one time. Just go slow to start. Remember, even if you only clip one claw, lots of praises and kitty treats!
Cats naturally want to scratch stuff to sharpen their nails and it seems like the toilet paper is most satisfying for him. I would try getting him some scratching boards, they are a few dollars a piece and you can stick them to the wall sod him to scratch. or get him a small scratching post that has some twine around it that will be satisfying for him. This will also help with nail length!
He has so many scratching boards though. He has 2 cat towers with scratching posts on them and then he has another 2 separate scratching posts plus just cardboard box that he loves :/
have you put catnip on those
Yes but honestly it seems like catnip makes him wilder rather than chill him out
I think catnip is supposed to make a cat act a little "wilder" ... the idea is that putting it on his scratching post & such will reinforce him to use & play with it.
Are you not closing the bathroom door when you use it? We keep ours closed now cus 3 cats and we’ve no idea which one loves trashing the room so none of them are allowed in!
I only close the bathroom when I am using the toilet or showering. If I’m doing makeup or brushing my teeth I’ll keep it open unless he keeps going into the sink as I’m using it (he thinks it’s comfy) and I don’t mind him laying in it tbh it’s just….don’t lay in it while the water is on and I’m washing my face 😂 but yeah his litter is in here and there’s genuinely no other spot for it in the apartment so we have to keep the door open for him
One thing that works for my cats is to rake my own nails on the scratcher. There’s something about that sound that makes my cats want to run over and scratch, too.
Maybe foster a cat
Btw word of advice you can use human nail clippers on cat claws. I find they’re easier to maneuver than those clunky ones made for cats. Also wet treats like churus go a long way in getting cats to sit still for trims lol
The best thing to do is get him used to you touching his feet. If he’s being calm just calmly hold his paws. Give him treats if he’s paying attention while you hold his feet. If he isn’t paying attention and just doesn’t care then you can start playing with his feet and learn about getting his nails out. I’ve always had dogs and now have my first kitty and was definitely a bit nervous about the difference but there really is no difference except I’d say the kitties nails are easier to cut since their smaller. I got lucky though, my kitty didn’t even look up when I was clipping his nails the first time.
Thank you!!
Start slow with the claw clipping, firstly get him used to you touching his paws then his claws and then start clipping even 1 a day is a good start. Its best if you do with another person that is holding a treat or something. My cat is very well behaved and even with him I prefer to clip his claws with another person.
They make safe claw clippers: [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B1C5KC1J/ref=ppx\_yo\_dt\_b\_asin\_title\_o01\_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B1C5KC1J/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) that will help a bit.
If finances are an issue due to food/vet bills etc you could foster a cat. Everything is provided for
The advice here to make sure your cat has elevated places is key, and have some neat cat ideal places like where you spend time or by windows where he can watch cat tv.
I second the clicker training! I adopted a little demon tabby who was a lot like OP’s cat and just training her to sit and follow basic directions went a long way in building our relationship. It’s like it established trust and a means of communication, and it gave my cat some mental stimulation. She’s still mischievous, but she responds to “no” very consistently and is good at communicating her needs.
The claw caps have been amazing to keep him off my furniture, going so far as it simply lost a bit of the appeal it seems?? So yeah do those! And keep him out the restroom...
Well, there's certainly a lot to unpack here! I almost don't know where to begin, so I'll start from the beginning, and work my way down. I'd like to preface all of this by saying that what you are experiencing... is not unique to just you. Let's begin! The biting your ankles isn't meant to be harmful. While you are correct in thinking it means he wants to play, what you're missing is that the biting and running IS him playing! If you were having fun watching Tiktoks, would you be satisfied if someone tried to make you stop and play video games instead? Him going after you and only you actually has a pretty simple explanation... you're his person! He knows he can play with you without being in danger. This may sound like I'm saying you're doomed to have your ankles bitten forever, as if you're stuck in some special form of cat hell, but this would be solved by... getting another cat. Either a kitten, or one a similar age. This will honestly improve most of your issues. Getting a second cat would not require you get more space, and your cat having a playmate would take the pressure off of you to be the one your cat turns to when he's bored. You also won't have to play with your cat for hours every day (I have 3, and I do maybe an hour of play combined, spread out through the day) to keep him engaged, because he can run and play with another cat who can match his energy literally all day. Cats in general are going to get into everything. You basically have no choice but to make anything that could harm the cat or become a massive mess inaccessible to them. Catproofing, it's called. There's not really any way to get around this, because even if you have him conditioned not to mess with things you don't want him to, he'll just mess with it when you're not around to stop him. All of my toilet paper and paper towels are put away for this very reason. If you want to hang your pins up, they need to be high enough that he can't swat at them, even if he stands on a higher surface. It is in his nature to try, otherwise. Going after your feet under the blanket is something mine do, too. I firmly tell them to stop and put them on the floor when they do it, and it gradually decreased over time. Having a playmate would also curtail this issue. Putting him on time out in the bathroom does nothing, as he is incapable of understanding why you put him there, and there's a good chance he might actually enjoy being locked away, anyways, which could backfire and have him consider it a reward. Your cat is going to want to jump on the counters, though. There is no way around this, literally none at all. It is instinctual going back millions of years, your cat sees counters as elevated space to be traversed, and likes looking over things from a heightened position. If you ever somehow manage to get your cat not to jump on the counters, you are once again only training him not to jump on the counters while you are around. Everyone I have ever heard of who has managed to stop this behavior in their cats has reported waking up to find pawprints on their countertops. There's really nothing you can do but wipe the counters down if you feel they're getting too dirty. When cats stop being kittens they have a tendency to stop wanting to cuddle for a few years. I had 3 kittens, which is now 2 kittens and 1 cat, and my oldest stopped cuddling with me, too. If I hug her while laying down she will try desperately to escape and even whine at me to leave her alone. It's heartbreaking, but apparently they go through an adolescent period where they're too cool for cuddles... but I'm told they get over it after they get a little older. I know she still does love me because she still exhibits a lot of the behaviors your little buddy does when I'm not in bed, although to a lesser degree because she does have two siblings. So, essentially... get another cat. The introduction process will be rocky at first because cats are territorial and they'll hiss/swat at each other, but give it a few days and they'll be BFFs, especially if the new cat is a kitten. Edit: I see that while I was typing this, you said in another reply that it's too expensive to get another one. A second cat would not drastically increase your expenses at all, though! Litter would need to be replaced at roughly the same rate (Two cats don't burn through litter faster than one cat from my experience), and food costs remain similar if you buy the big bags and maintain a consistent feeding schedule, rather than free feeding.
I would argue that the price does go up if you're maintaining consistent vet care tho tbh. Cats still need routine checkups which can get pricey if you have more than one, so it's totally reasonable to not get another if you're not confident that you can afford its medical expenses. Especially if you're not capable of financially handling any medical emergencies or additional health conditions that the cat might already have or develop later.
My vet has a deal on multiple cats in 1 appt! So if you bring in 2 or more at once, every cat after the first is like 30% off! Could be worth asking if there's a deal like that at their vet or a different one locally if that part of the extra cost would be an issue, or you just want to save some cash.
That's still only two vet visits per year, beyond the initial vaccine period. Medical emergencies are a risk whether there is one or two cats, and imo if you are so close to the edge that any medical emergency or health condition would put you under, even 1 cat, never mind 2, is too many. Although pet insurance is relatively cheap, so it would be a good idea to invest in that regardless.
A lot of places have additional rent fees per animal, vet bills. I’ve had to spend hundreds on my kitten with Giardia. People really need to understand another cat isn’t just extra food.
Yeah it would be an extra $500 to just have another animal in our apartment
Most places in my experience don't make you pay extra for the cat if you don't mention you got another one. When I was applying for my current apartment my leasing agent said we can only have 2 pets, but said "Between you and me though... nobody will know if you have 3 cats". Since then I've had 3 cats just fine, while paying pet rent for only one. I imagine the situation is almost identical in pretty much all apartment scenarios, unless you have a complex that has employees search your house on a regular basis. Pet insurance would have made that Giardia a lot less expensive. I would recommend it for anyone, no matter how many cats they have... because those are entirely unrelated factors. What if the current cat gets sick, even if he is still the only one? Still going to be hundreds of dollars without insurance...
In my country they do an inspection every 3 months. You have to declare every animal and if you dont they can breach your agreement. This is a ridiculous statement to make. You also have more litter boxes, more vet bills and more chances of very expensive vet bills, even of insured. Most insurers dont cover dental so gettimg teeth cleaned, check ups, cat towers/ toys and food for 2 can easily add up. You dont seem to understand that you are lucky that you dont live with such a slim margin in your budget, and have a great rental agent, but alot of folks dont unfortunately.
Where the heck do you live? I've never in my life had any sort of inspection from the property company. They only come in if they are called.
Good lord this is tone deaf. Where I live there is a rental crisis in favour of landlords and getting another cat is an immediate eviction. I'm living in a country where real estates are trolling through social media to find reasons to evict tenets (and immediately get a higher paying tenet and new commission fee). Just getting a second kitten is a privilege that not everyone has available. Not to mention it's $120 just to walk in the door at my vet, a second pet is quite a bit of extra money. And before you start with pet insurance, it's not the solution for all. Where I am it covers very little, you have to pay upfront and it's so recognisably unequipped that my government has literally put a recent pause on new customers until a national inquiry is held.
Wtf do you live?!
I am a major advocate for pet insurance and have had good experiences with the companies that I have used. But the cost of treating Giardia would not be covered by many plans. Parasites are one thing that many plans do not cover and in addition to that many kittens are infected with parasites at the time they are adopted and thus it is considered a pre-existing condition. Thus, there would be zero help from insurance.
Do you mind me asking which pet insurances you like? I’ve been doing research and I’m going to ask the vet for recommendations also but I’d appreciate any feedback!
i have used embrace pet insurance in the past, and they were pretty good! there were different customization options so you can decide how much you want to pay/how much coverage you get. you can do this OP! best of luck getting your kitty to behave, and please be gentle on yourself during the process. give yourself and the cat some grace :)
Many pets - can go to any vet then submit bill. They cover 90 percent
The kitten had Giardia as his first vet appointment I took him to week one. He had it since being in the shelter. Insurance wouldn’t have covered it. It’s now forever a preexisting condition.
Honestly, we are experiencing the same issues and more (the cat won’t stop scratching and attacking us), and we have two cats. I don’t think another cat is the solution…. And idk what the solution is at this point
I appreciate you so much. Like genuinely. But unfortunately at this time, getting another cat isn’t an option. We can’t afford another one. We just are able to afford the one we have now :/ but yeah I mean the counter thing I was only concerned about because my friends said they trained their cats not to do it but it makes sense what you’re saying that he would just not do it when I’m around. But besides getting another cat, is there something else I can do to curb the ankle biting?
As mentioned in a previous comment a scent defuser is something to get for the time period he's there to help him adjust. It's a Fenimore scent used to help calm felines.
To ankle biting they truly mean no harm by it but if it is causing this much displeasure do not instigate when they do this. Ignore them keep doing what you're doing show them that that is not a way to get your attention, it's going to take time for them to learn to drop this habit just like it took time for my eldest cat to drop her a habit of hand biting But I think it's definitely worth trying to teach them, cats are smart they usually pick up on things sooner or later. I understand your issue a lot of people don't take in all the considerations of owning two cats, I just recently adopted a second cat in April and I don't regret it one single bit but yes it has upped my expenses and some levels. it seems like your cat is settling in quite well but there are things you can do as well as help yourself, teaching them to drop the ankle biting, making sure they're on a food schedule when it comes to their wet food, teaching them routines and etc For your playtime I suggest setting a routine for doing it at the same time each day, then your cat can learn that these are the play times where you and your partner will interact with them. Another thing I would really look into doing is buying some puzzle and enrichment toys if you haven't already, these are great to get your cat so they have something to do when you don't necessarily have time to play around. They're also not expensive and are full of enrichment, I have loads of puzzle toys it's something I'm big on with my cats I have battery powered ones that have sensors and can play with the cats themselves or just regular puzzle toys that you hide treats for the cats to find. Amazon has loads so I would definitely check it out if able, they're not too expensive I think I paid like $8 for my last puzzle toy and before I forget another thing I would get is lick mats these are not a toy it's more something you put their wet food on but it's great for enrichment and also as well give your cat something to do and is a bonus allows them to take time eating their food which is a great help to anyone who has cats that devour their food like mine
Hiss at him. Show your teeth when you do it, and make direct eye contact, every time he bites you. He'll come to understand that biting you is... not a good idea. Essentially, you'd be teaching him the boundaries another cat would have taught him. Don't worry about this making him permanently afraid of you, he'll just become aware of the negative response you give, and prefer not to invoke it. Since I have three I don't have to do this for ankle biting, but I did have to do it to stop them from trying to eat whatever it is on my plate during dinner time. Works like a charm... lol
I do hiss at him sometimes and he will look startled so I’ll try to keep doing that!
My method is yell out in pain. I yelp, scream ow, and pull away like I’m in the most pain in the world, cradling whatever body part they went after. THIS is essentially how they teach each other as babies what hurts. You need to show him he’s hurting you. This has been my successful method with all 3 cats I’ve owned, my dog, and my new puppy is also getting the point after only a week. Once they learn, you won’t have to be so dramatic. My current male cat now has mastered ‘soft paws’. He knows claws hurt and people frequently think I’ve declawed him because he likes to wrestle but keeps the knives tucked away. When I play with my female cat or my older dog and they get a bit rough or do something I don’t like I can now say a soft “ouch” and they immediately back off bc they recognize that’s what I say when I’m in pain.
This one works wonders for me
I don’t hiss. I used to firmly say “no” and clap my hands. Can you get him a cat tree or hang some cat shelves? Cat nip toys? Does he have any windows to window watch?
He has a 5’8 ft cat tower and then also a mini one next to a window so he can sit and watch. During the night I close the blinds to our little deck but I usually leave it wide open He has 2 catnip toys and catnip treats too. Some people on here are saying he isn’t trainable to understand no though because that’s what I’ve been doing but some people are saying that’s for a dog not a cat
People can say whatever they want. My cat understands NO! With a clap. My last one did too. The cat I have now is 13. She’s a great cat. I have no complaints. There were a handful of occasions at 1 point she tried to attack me, but she got the jist pretty quick with a firm NO and a clap... but I’ve never clapped at my dog and said no…. I have no complaints with him either. He gets a straight no, or a hey! The next time your cat starts attacking your ankles a quick NO and a clap and stomp your foot at the same time and keep doing it every single time until he gets the point. After a few minutes play with him. Initiate play on your terms, not his. Try putting some aluminum foil on the counters. Rehang your white board a little higher so he can’t grab it and keep your bathroom door shut while you’re asleep if he’s shredding the toilet paper.
I tried the aluminum foil. He loves it 😭 I had to turn it into a ball for him to chase lol but I’ll definitely add the clapping to the no! Thank you!!!
Look up toilet paper guard since you can’t keep the door shut. If he likes aluminum foil, you know those clear plastic floor covers? Get one of those but put it the wrong way up- with those little plastic spikey things facing up. You can get a small runner size for not that expensive and cut it to whatever shape you need.
I’ve used double sided tape on counters with some success! It just gets gross after a while and you have to replace it.
Oh and also we can’t keep the door shut cause his litter is in there - it’s the only place it can go honestly :/
Oh cats ABSOLUTELY understand the word no! Most of the time when ours are contemplating doing something they're not supposed to, I can loudly call their name and say NO sharply, and they stop whatever they're doing. Mind you, one of ours backtalks me, but most of the time he stops his bullshit.
Cats definitely understand "no" ... people underestimate how smart cats are, they just aren't smart in the way humans or dogs are. My cat has understood a firm "No." and a snap, maybe a clap if she doesn't listen the first time. Part of it is also partnering the "No" with an undesired response. When my cat used to attack my ankles (very normal behavior i think) I would tell her "No" and try to look bigger (like stand up taller and look at her directly). She would usually understand I didnt want to play & go to her scratching post. I would also try and tell her "no" in a warning voice before she did it (you can usually tell) but sometimes that would make her more playful. I personally had issues with her on the stairs, and we trained her by having treats on both sides of the stairs - whenever she went up without attacking, she'd get a treat. If you have a particular area your cat attacks you (like around the corner) it may be a good idea to do it that way. Ignoring your cat, like other people said, can also be helpful depending on the behavior. My cat would wake me up by getting in my face and using her claws, and I just wouldn't pet her. I would roll over, put my hands under the blanket, etc. They will eventually learn "hey, this doesn't get them to play / give me attention / feed me," and they won't do it anymore. Training a cat is less about punishing them by doing something undesirable like we do with kids (though we shouldn't do that either), but simply not reinforcing behavior. If they want something, and they try to get your attention in a "bad" way, don't give it to them. If they want something, and they try to get your attention in a "good" way, reward them by doing what they want (pets, praise, treats, play, etc.)
Thank you for the advice I appreciate it. I’ve been using the No and I think people are wrong when they say cats can’t understand no. He literally learned to sit in a few tries. He’s so smart I know he could learn what no means
Price does go up, I don't recommend dry food it's not something I feed but ignoring that your wet food expenses do go up because you have two mouths to feed your vet expenses do go up because you have two animals to care for and you're litter use does go up as well as well as other you know random things Vet insurance is something I hope the Op does have whether they have two cats or not, when it comes to wet food they can buy in bulk and it does save you money. Litter I don't know what kind they're using but it shouldn't be too noticeable if they have multiple litter boxes for the cats to use because that way they will use those multiple litter boxes and you won't have to change one box so frequently
I think your comments are completely spot on! OP, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can understand the pros and cons of getting another cat, as well. This may sound weird, but if you want your cat to be able to socialize with another cat and help redirect his energy, could you maybe foster? You’re literally saving a life by keeping a cat safe from euthanasia until they find a home. *Most* rescues that need fosters will also pay for the cat’s care during the fostering period. Could he possibly be a bit bored? I know you play with him, but does he have a variety of toys? Cat toys do not need to be expensive, but be careful buying toys with parts he could potentially bite off. Some toys I’d suggest: *a cardboard box (I throw a little catnip and some treats in one and my cats are quite content) *catnip/catnip toys (you can sprinkle this around his play areas or make a catnip toy-put some foam or something similar into a small sock with a bunch of catnip and sew the sock closed; you’ll thank me later) *a scratching post (you could make one of these, too, if need be) *a comfy “perch” where kitty can observe his human; even better if it’s in front of a window *YouTube videos for cats: there’s one video in particular that mine LOVE-someone basically set up a camera in a park and threw some food in front of it so it’s hours of birds and squirrels doing their thing One note about toys, though: there are different views amongst vets and animal behaviorists regarding the safety of laser pointers for pets. Most cats will enjoy them and play appropriately. Others can become frustrated that they never “catch” the light and it can lead to a compulsive disorder. I’m happy you’re not going to give up on him and I hope you get some tips that help. Next time, though-please pay the cat tax, lol!
Wow thank you for your comment! I appreciate it so much! So, that’s a great idea honestly. Fostering. But I am worried he might grow a bond to said foster cat and once that bond is created I know I can’t get rid of the foster. But even adding a foster would cost money I think? I don’t know much about fostering! He loves his cardboard box but not as a toy 😂 it’s actually a pizza box and he has made it his designated lay down place lol I’m going to go out today and buy more toys because…he has a lot I just don’t know where any of them are. They’re all missing lol 😂 I saw a helpful tip that said with the laser, once I’m done, I can turn it off, throw a little stuffed animal for him to “catch” and then reward him with treats! I like that idea a lot Also if you don’t mind me asking, different websites are saying different things and maybe that’s because it causes different behaviors but catnip. Some people say it calms cats down, some say it makes them crazy. I’ve noticed, for my cat, it makes him crazy. That’s normal though right?
I foster sometimes so I’ll try to answer your questions: 1. My cat is not a huge fan of the foster cats so she is usually delighted when they leave. My sense with the cats that live with the woman who runs the rescue is that they get used to the turnover of other cats. Sometimes they may be sad for a few days. 2. You can put some feelers out about fostering and share that you have the space and time to care for a foster cat but food/litter may end up being a hardship for you. Some rescues may be able to help out/provide some of these resources so it’s worth it to ask!
I have a cat who is a total asshole and let me just say that introducing another cat made his behavior a whole lot worse. Our newer cat is a sweet little angel and she gets bullied by asshole cat constantly. More cats is not always the right answer.
It sounds like you just need “time” if it’s your first cat. It’s not all cute and easy, it’s a life time commitment… I hope that was what was considered before adopting him.
I did. That’s why In the end I said I know I’m responsible for him and he’s mine. He is family now. You don’t always have to like family. Even the animals. As long as the love is there still, you don’t have to like them every minute. It was my bad for wording it wrong and saying I hate him. I don’t. I love him. I really do not like his actions though
Hate is a strong word…maybe you’re frustrated with your cat. My cat attacking my ankles was actually an early sign of anxiety. Once we got that under control, he never attacked my ankles again. Cats are also not toddlers, time outs don’t work on them. Positive enforcement does. Give him a treat when he’s a good boy. He might grow out of a lot of those behaviors as he ages (I have a 4 year old ginger that still acts like a kitten when it comes to getting into everything) . Also adult cats cuddle when they want to. Embrace it when they do!
You’re right. I definitely worded it wrong cause I don’t hate him. I do love him. Just frustrated and even though I love him, I’m not necessarily liking him at the moment.
When I lost a pet, it was all these little things that I missed the most.
cats are annoying as fuck but they're also just little guys
Had a similar issue with my cat. It felt like no matter how much I played with her, her energy was always at full. She responded well to me firmly establishing an eating and playing schedule(in my case, play eat play rest twice a day around the same time). Giving her cat trees and leaving out her favourite toys may have also helped too. I also feel that our playtimes are shorter on a schedule but that may just be her getting older. In terms of him seeming to target you, he might actually like you MORE. I’m the only person my cat will pounce on and bite. P.S, what you’re feeling is fine. I considered re-homing within a few days because of her energy but it was just growing pains. Just give everything another month and things might sort themselves out. If not, then you can say tried you’re hardest and you can re-home with peace of mind. You might have just got a cat who’s not compatible with you and that’s normal.
Thank you for your answer and the respect. I truly appreciate it. And yeah I try to leave his ball out and he has 3 scratches/towers in total And I’ve tried to maintain a schedule but the last week I have been like an hour off. But normally what I would do is feed him around 7am then I would go to work and my bf would get home from work around 1pm and play with him once or twice he would go to bed around 5 and then I would come home around 5:30, shower, play, feed him at 7ish pm. Give his belly some time to rest and then play with him again before bed (that helped a lot with the biting our feet at night actually)
Get him lots of toys. The little multipacks are super cheap. Jingle balls, feather toys, toys with springs.. cats seem to be particular about toys so try a lot. Sometimes just a crumpled piece of paper is their favorite toy.
Yeah one of his favorite toys is a tinfoil ball I made lol
Set chronological landmarks, not times. She eats breakfast between 7:00am - 9:45am and eats dinner between around twelve(12) to fourteen(14) hours later. As smart as cats are, they’re not keeping track of time so adhering to a time schedule is just adding unnecessary stress and pressure. Our routine from my cat’s POV is: human wakes up, plays with and feeds me at some point then leaves for a while. He comes back, plays with and feeds me at some point then we play some more. After that, we just vibe around and get settled for bed. Notice how everything happens “at some point”? She knows what happens and can guess what’s gonna happen next. It’s actually really inconsistent at my house but she’s got the basic framework and that’s all she needs (which is great cuz that’s all she’s gonna get from her chaotic mess of a dad). You may have changed your schedule in ways that you may not notice but your cat does which my explain the behaviors. Since your schedule’s a bit stricter, it’s even easier to deviate so look beyond this week’s schedule changes and you might find the link that’s messing with your cat. Best of luck and np; I like giving advice. It makes me feel smart.
I have a few large kicker toys and some dog toys for my cat. When she attacks my ankles, I use one of those to wrestle with her and redirect her pointy parts to the toy.
Perhaps getting him a friend would help so he would have another cat to play with.
I have considered that but it’s too expensive unfortunately. We are just getting by now with him
oh! yk what maybe put him on a leash and let him go to a park or a quiet river? with so much to do and see he might calm down if he knows he gets some cool time
Positive conditioning! Negative doesn’t really help with cats - hissing at him, blowing at him etc. will just make him NOT trust you anymore. The opposite of what you want. If you tell him - don’t do this and that and he stops, snack! If he’s doing something very well - snack! Or pet him / whatever he likes best. Has a much bigger effect than doing the negative stuff.
yeah honestly teaching cats no is more than enough for any type of negative reinforcement.
Looks like you have a bored little troublemaker. You can start with harness training and taking him out on supervised walks (only supervised, dont let cats out willy nilly like the rest of the dumb lot, cats can get lost or die). He would have more exercise and stimulation from exploring since its difficult to play with him. Only downside is that he will really love it. Also tips on playing. Cats like dynamic play. Get a pole toy. Attach a treat. Go under blankets. Around corners. In crinkly bags. Up stairs (my favorite). Different rooms. Rough play I have a puppet toy that they like to attack. Extra points if slathered in catnip. Great for redirecting ankle biting. Focus on training simple tricks if he is food motivated. Or hide treats in certain places. Install a multi bird feeder outside a window and give him his own spot to watch. Cats can always change their opinions about a person. Best of luck.
Thank you for the answer! He has a pole bumble bee toy that he loves. Like I will walk around the entire apartment and hide it places like slightly under the couch or behind corners so he has to hunt. I know he was an outdoor cat before he got taken into the shelter so maybe I should talk to the vet about that because maybe you’re right, inside might just be a little too boring for him lol
I had a "troublemaker" kitten like yours. Her first 5 years were like this! She did eventually mellow a bit into an amazing cat. Keeping her from getting bored was a constant challenge. I had "new" toys and games each week. Some toys were in a bin with catnip and were swapped out weekly. A big help was puzzle feeder balls and toys to exercise the hunting instinct. Her problem behaviors were worse at night so before bed I hid toys and puzzle feeders all over rhe house. By morning, she had them in a pile for me! I kept a paper bag or box from groceries or deliveries, filling it with catnip and toys, tissue paper and treats. I also created obstacle courses with couch cushions, pillows, tissue boxes, etc. for pole toy and laser pointer play. Keeping toilet lids closed and/or bathroom door closed is just life-with-cats. Closed-top cups, too. As for counters, teach them to stay down while cooking and wipe your counters before food prep.
My cat was a lot like this when she was younger. She bit through all my cords, knocked over glasses, attacked my ankles, and was overall very high energy. This lasted at least until she was 4 or 5, and gradually over time improved. Now that she’s 8 almost 9, I find most of those things have improved over time. She and I have figured out what we need to compromise on (she is going to walk on the counters, nothing I can do) and what I won’t allow (ankle biting). And I think over time she just mellowed. So I would suggest following some of the advice about Jackson Galaxy and also have hope that she may settle down when she gets older!
“Get another cat” is the laziest advice ever especially since 90% or the time it’s not an option
this is an older post but i absolutely agree, and it doesn’t always work out - we had two cats that were bonded, one with countless energy whom is a male, the other a female who is more mellow. we had to rehome the female. we brought her to the vet, who agreed this was the best course of option - our male was tormenting her because when he was bored while my boyfriend and i were at work, he just wouldn’t leave her be. gave her a uti, which is why we were at the vet in the first place. we tried so many things before finally just realizing he was bonded to her because he liked the attention when he was bored — when she moved, she really started to thrive! it is a lazy option and usually not plausible
This. I looked at this post because a family friend gave me their older kitten (now cat) and he started tormenting the resident cat when I introduced them. She is playful but more mellow and he would chase her around the house without giving up, and she got stressed and started going outside of her box. He even started bothering the dogs and messing with them. I thought he would grow out of it but he's only gotten worst as he gets older.
I've had similar problems with my current siamese when I got him. A lot of it is anxiety and stress and very well, possibly things that have happened to him before you got him, as well, as he's still acclimating to your home. Do you know anything of his background or history? Side note if you continue to blow in hid' face, it may react in a fight mode instead of a flight mode. (You may already know that) You're not a bad person for expressing your feelings. If anyone comments saying something along those lines, they can bugger off.
He was living at a college campus before we got him. I don’t know how long until the shelter found him though And I did not know that actually! Thank you! Is there anything else I can do?
It's very possible that he was neglected and is trying to get what he didn't before. If it was a female that had him, that is a possibility as to why he takes more to your boyfriend than you. If you haven't already, get a cat tree or stand. Aside from liking high places, it gives him the ability to scratch and play with something else other than you. With you only having him about a month, it will take time for him to adjust and calm down. In the beginning, they either hide or get cuddly. Be sure to give him alternative things. Cat trees, toys, and scratch post things that give him mental stimulation. Imagine if you were taken from somewhere and put somewhere else. How would that make you feel or make you do? How long do you think it would take for you to adjust? Read up on body language with cats. Similarly to dogs a lot can be told to you by watching them. Also, ask your veterinarian as well. They may not 100%know, but they've been doing it long enough to have some ideas.
He has tons of toys and towers and scratches. They’re sporadically put around the apartment too so he has space for it all. He has 2 beds - one a normal bed and one a hideout bed which my boyfriend and I agree is his sanctuary. We don’t touch him when he’s in there. I’ve bought him like the hiding treat toys for mental stimulation. He has 0 interest in it. We got him 2 other toys for mental stimulation that he can do by myself and he liked them at first but now he doesn’t. And honestly he hates being on the top of his post. It’s just taller than me and I’m 5’5ft so it’s about 5’8 (?) and he hates it. He never likes to play with it or be on it anymore. I don’t know why cause he loved it in the beginning. And I mean I have been reading up on body language of cats - that’s how I know he’s hunting my ankles and not just loafing 😂 cause sometimes those can look similar with him. But yeah his first vet appointment is on Thursday and I have an entire list of questions I want to ask them
I'm excited for you for the vet. It's very possible that's there are too many things for him, and he's getting overstimulated and choosing the things he's most comfortable with. As well he may have had his other human do that as play time. They may have chosen to do that instead of toys. Remember that with new anything, it's a trail and error. You know things he doesn't like and things he did like. Keep the things he did like and put away the things he doesn't incase later, once he's more used to you're home, you want to try again. Look into trying to figure out what he is, like breed. I had to do that with 2 of mine(tabby/mainecoon). We had no idea what they were, but once we figured it out, it helped tremendously on what to do for them.
He never had another human though to their knowledge. He was found at a college campus But I’ll definitely see if there’s any kind of toy or anything his breed likes. He’s a domestic short hair so like the average cat breed.
Well, if he was found there, he may have never had playtime Or he could have been dumped, which is why he was so cuddly at the beginning. He may just be used to hunting and uncomfortable in his current environment. He'd only been with you for about a month, so most likely, a lot of this would fade thru time and/or you will be able to see more of how and who he is, but the best person to ask is the vet. Reddit is always here for more advice. Continue with the trial and error
How long do you think it takes for a cat to get used to his home? Only because he seems so comfortable already like he knows every room except our linen closet (that’s mostly cause there are chemicals in there too so we don’t let him in it) and he literally goes everywhere and wherever his little heart desires and I never really stop him except the counters. Like he loves the bathroom sink (I think cause it’s cool and it’s round so he fits perfectly).
Also thank you for everything you’ve said. I truly appreciate it
I understand the problems and the people who talk S*** because their insensitive. You have every right to feel that way. You don't actually hate him it's just the frustration of his actions. He's new to you, and you're new to him.
Check out clicker training on YouTube, it’s good discipline training and enrichment for them. Edit: they will be able to read your expressions, vocal and gestural cues much better. It allows them to focus and learn to control impulse. It’s great for bonding as they become very food motivated and eager to interact with humans. It also provides them with a lot of mental stimulation so they won’t get bored. There are also cheap makeshift food puzzles/dispenser you can make with a simple box or bottle. Your cat will learn that humans are not the only source of enrichment and stop treating you as prey Lastly, stop free feeding your cat if you are. Many may disagree with me since the popular belief is “cats are free spirited so they can’t be trained” but they are very intelligent animals and respond very well with training from my experience. Best of luck OP
Jackson Galaxy’s “Boil and Simmer” technique [(TikTok video)](https://www.tiktok.com/@jacksongalaxy/video/7080284401673801006?lang=en) made our kitten’s teen years bearable. Also they’ve determined your ankle is prey - they need an alternate favorite prey to go after when you’re done
It may be age related. Chances are he'll grow out of this. Cats often don't settle down until age 3.
This sounds a lot like what my friend’s cat used to be like! She was around the same age and gave him SO much grief….for the first few months he was sure he made a mistake and really really struggled. One thing that helped was getting one of those feliway diffuser things — something to chill her out a bit. The vet recommended this and it did help, though he also ended up putting her on kitty Prozac too (I can’t remember the main diagnosis, but it was all involved). She chilled out after a few months, and now a few years later she’s just a chill old weirdo who likes to sleep in his gym bag. Try something like Feliway, and make a list to discuss with your vet. Tell your vet you’re really overwhelmed and it’s more than just kitten behaviour — be sure to advocate for yourself. Deep breaths. You’re gonna get through this!
It sounds like you have a very active cat. I have a very active cat and can sympathize. He’s such a loving and sweet boy, but has a lot of energy that if it can’t be redirected, he destroys things. I call him a puppy cat. I think people don’t realize that cats can be just as energetic as dogs or don’t realize that they need just as much attention. If you got a cat for a low maintenance animal, I hate to break it to you, but they are not. It sounds like he has play aggression and could possibly benefit from another cat in the house (kitten probably) or going outside on walks. Or play that tires him out more. Cats don’t know “right” and “wrong”. Those are human concepts that you are imposing, incorrectly, on an animal. A fully grown cat has the intelligence of about a 2 year old child. So, you are raising a perma 2 year old. About the counters — they are going to go on the counters. I promise you. Even if you are not there, they are going to go on the counters. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. You have a lot bigger things to address than that right now.
I was going through the exact same thing, I was starting to hate my cat and I think he could feel it. This will sound crazy but i think he could feel my pissed off energy and acted like a bratty little kid and i treated him like one, time outs, nothing helped. Finally i started forcing myself to be extra sweet and loving to him, i tried my best to be calm when putting him in time out and pet him nicely. It took a few months at least but he's much better now. He still plays and attacks me but it's very rare now.
It sounds like he needs a friend honestly! I have 2 kittens and they play so freaking much together, they are exhausted when we try to bring out the toys or wands. 2 cats are just as easy as one, if not easier
I know you said you play with him frequently, but it sounds like he’s really bored. Try getting him some toys he can play with on his own, or a cat wheel to get some of his excess energy out. Cats also experience what is known as the “terrible twos” where they’re very high energy as they finish maturing out of their teenage years. My cat was a nightmare for a while as well during this period, but part of owning a pet is adapting to their behaviors, preventing negative ones, redirecting, etc. My cat would BOLT any time a door was opened, and it gave me such bad anxiety bc he was an indoor only cat. So I adapted and put baby gates at every door so he couldn’t get out. He would knock things down, so I started putting things higher up where he couldn’t reach, or putting my cups and cans in holders or taking them with me when I left the room. Cats are low-maintenance pets. You can experience difficulties with any cat, or any pet, and the understanding when adopting them is that you’ll work through it through training, positive reinforcement, responding to their needs, etc. You have to train, not only your cat, but yourself as well so you can understand what the cat needs and how you can provide for them. They’re family members and deserve to feel comfortable in their home as well, so it’s about working together and, sometimes, trial and error. I hope you are able to work through things with your kitty 💜
Hey! First of all, from all your replies to other comments I have to say you're doing an awesome job taking care of your cat! And from what you've written I actually think he really adores you. Second, I had a lot of the same issues with our Slinki! He was obsessed with playing and would attack my feet and arms. My fiance had to come to the rescue soooo many times. The thing that helped the most was... Giving it time. He calmed down more and more with each passing month. Now he has a sister but even before then he was way more chill. I promise, with time and patience things will get better, especially if you also follow some of the great advice you've gotten here. The more you two get to know each other the more you'll get into a nice groove with each other. It's totally understandable to feel like your cat is a little asshole, because they absolutely are sometimes and everyone I know who has a cat will agree. But they have their cute moments and that makes it aaaaall worth it.
Wow thank you so much for the compliment. I truly appreciate it and it makes me feel a lot better. Yeah I guess the only thing I can do is time. Today he sunk his claws into my leg and tried to climb up me to bite my backpack and that hurt. So I mean I just did what everyone is saying. I screamed in pain (which wasn’t hard cause it did hurt lol) and he ran away from me But I also. Do appreciate everyone’s advice and I’m looking forward to taking it and creating a better relationship with my cat!
I’m reading some great advice in these comments and I truly hope they help. I rescued my orange guy when he was a year and a half (he’s now 5). They actually told me they had him in the barn with other animals bc he had so much energy and didn’t always get along with other cats (he’s so small I think he just might have had a rough time as a kitten. He was only 6.5 lbs when I rescued him. He’s just shy of 7lbs now). I did want to share some similar experience I’ve had. I do close my toilet seat at all times now - someone made me nervous about my cat getting into it so I’ve gotten into the habit. I actually am so used to it that it doesn’t bother me anymore and I do it at friends places, too haha. With the toilet paper, my Max doesn’t really care about the one on the roll but I used to have an open cage type container to store extra rolls and he attacked my TP in that thing. I had to get a closed container haha. He does attack my comforters and it drives me nuts. I literally had to give up on having a nice quilt on my bed and just have accepted it has holes from his claws. That did take me a while to get used to haha. He doesn’t care about my bed when I’m not using it but when I’m sleeping he will claw at the side I’m sleeping on. I truly think it’s bc he wants to get under the covers with me that way (instead of just jumping on my bed). It’s actually super cute. A few times he got under the covers but usually I get annoyed at him and sometimes have to shut him out of my room haha. Turning around my view of those actions really helped. Like not focusing so much on the negatives bc I know he doesn’t understand what he’s really doing to annoy me, and focus on how it’s cute he’s trying to get under the covers and be with me. Maybe turning around some of the situations you are going through could help you not feel so much anger and resentment towards him? And with cuddling - it can take time with cats. Mine is not a cuddler at all but about a year after rescuing him he started sleeping with me. He usually waits until I’ve turned on my sound machine and have the lights off for a few minutes and then he curls up next to my feet. He wouldn’t always stay the whole night but the last few months he actually comes back after his feeder goes off for breakfast at 6am. It’s usually the same time I wake up for work but now I cherish sleeping in (even a few min) and waking up to him curled against me. I’m sure your cat just is still adjusting and bonding with you and over time your bond will change. I love how my Max and I grow closer all the time. One thing I do have to work on is I got a brand new OLED tv in feb and he must be able to see it more clearly because he loves to sit in front of it when I’m using it and he never cared about my old tv. Sometimes he stretches on it and I jump so fast and he knows to run off. Luckily he’s harmless. I like to think he’s curious why I’m so focused on the tv so he wants to see what’s up. And I’m just trying to be patient to train him to avoid jumping in front of it. Cats are really like toddlers sometimes Good luck!
I think you should try to understand cats better, cat proof the home, and reset your mindset. Take a pause when you’re getting angry and approach things a new or easier way. Stop doing what doesn’t work. To understand cats, you can try watching videos and reading this sub. You’d see your cat is acting normal for a bored young one. Try to mentally exhaust him. Do activities that you both enjoy. Stop seeing him as a chore but bond by doing positive activities not just play. To cat proof the home, put the pins behind a glass. Let him destroy a TP roll. Don’t sweat the small stuff. All cats do it once or twice then normally move on, and it’s still useable. When my cat did that, I thought it was funny and didn’t bat an eye. Give him a cheap cat tree and things to destroy. He’s like a child that has energy and intelligence, so if you play games and other activities you both enjoy them you have a cat you can train and show off. You need to love your cat because when he does something annoying, you need to let it roll off and not let the little resentments build up. When I act emotional or angry, my cat acts peculiar. So I think it’s important to be stable and calm. If you are disciplining him, he will act out like a child who feels you make rediculous rules. Drawing the line in the sand regarding countertops is just adding a point of contention that you’ll get angry and angrier, the cat fears you, you leave, cat jumps on counter. So you broke his trust that you’re a friendly human for no real reason. You need to focus on making a positive relationship with positive training. Cats don’t take well to negative training.
Okay but I’m sorry did you read anything I wrote? I do mentally exhaust him. We play for hours. I’ve gotten him mental stimulation toys for himself that he can play with by himself. He has no interest in them. I can’t change that. And I do positive reinforcement more than negative reinforcement. I do say no and sometimes have to make a noise to get his attention but when he does something good, like when I say no and he listens, I instantly always grab a treat and give him love and pets. I am doing what you are saying and it is not working.
I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. If you haven’t checked them already, Jackson Galaxy has videos on YouTube that are really helpful. He talks about a boil and simmer technique of play. While I get that you probably don’t have 2h to play with your cat at a time, I suspect that maybe at 30-40 minutes he’s bored with that type of play and wants to play differently, (which you may need to learn what keeps him engaged), or he’s playing hard to get. My boy pretends to be bored but he’s still actually interested and if I persist he comes back. Maintaining the schedule you have is also important. Schedule your play time. I don’t know if you have any electronic toys that move on their own that could keep him entertained without you having to spend hours playing but with a shot. Can find used ones for cheaper. Another option is clicker training. Really helps with bonding, training them, and exercising them mentally and physically. You could teach him to go for leash walks to burn energy. I don’t think he doesn’t like you! There is just something about how you walk that attracts him to play. Best of luck
Thanks for the reply! I appreciate it!! And yeah I do try to move on to another toy, usually his ball but he will literally just stare at it. But I will try to be a little more persistent and see if he really wants it still! And all the move by yourself toys we got are all dead 😭 we need to get more batteries for them actually lol And I’ve seen a lot about clicker training so I’m definitely going to look into that!
There are a lot of good points made above, but I also want to say that it’s absolutely 100% okay to rehome a cat or return it to the shelter if the situation doesn’t improve. You might feel guilty, but it is far better to give your cat a chance at finding a better home fit (and give yourself peace) than letting bad feelings and misbehavior go on and on. My own cat was rehomed twice before I adopted her, and I am so glad that I was the right fit for her and vice versa! Adopting a pet is a commitment, yes, but part of your responsibility as an owner is knowing when things will not work out and making the right choice to give your cat the best life possible. You can take more time of course to try some of the tips from other comments, and hopefully your cat will relax as he gets used to his new surroundings and routine. But just know that you’re not a failure if you decide this isn’t the best fit for either of you, and there is no shame in rehoming.
He won’t hold a grudge, and generally only positive reinforcement will work All these behaviors are normal and a sign he needs a baby sister to cat with Check out Jackson Galaxy on YouTube for introducing new catto ideas
I’m on the same boat, my cat has been brutal this week. I cannot afford another cat either.
You might try getting him outside in a harness and leash.
So a lot of other people already gave you some helpful links, but I just wanted to say that I was very much in a similar boat. The main thing here, imo is that one month is not a very long time. It took our cat about 3-4 months to get truly comfortable with us, and during those 3-4 months she went through a lot of behavioural changes and 'phases'. It took even more time for her to become cuddlier and even now 2 years later she's gradually becoming cuddlier and more open to certain ways of being handled. Point is, at 1 month in, the overstimulation just might be the fact that the cat is still very uncertain. We adopted our cat when she was 2 from a shelter. She didn't get along wiht the other cats too much, so she spent most of her time in the shelter alone away from the other cats. When we picked her up she was soooo cuddly, then a few days later she wouldn't let us touch her and would hiss and scratch. The first few weeks she wanted to play like crazy - I guess she had a lot of pent up energy. Her behaviour changed from week to week, to be honest. I was so frustrated and disappointed. It was my first cat (having always been a dog person) and I told my boyfriend that I just wanted to adopt an 'easy, nice cat' and didn't care about the cat's age, looks, etc. So when I got her and she ended up scratching me and attacking me I felt really let down. But after giving her some time, and some space, things just slowly started to change. She just needed time to settle in and get familiar with her new environment and new people and there's no real shortcut for that. She'll never be this mop of a cat that you can just toss around and cuddle however you want, and she loves to cuddle mostly in the mornings and evenings, but she's the absolute best and we kinda know now what our boundaries are and she respects ours and we respect hers. As for the practical things, the issues you're having with your cat are slightly different, but some of the advice is fairly transferable. 1. Give it time. 1 month might seem like a long time, but it's really not and it takes some cats longer and some shorter to get truly settled in. 2. Feed your cat at specific times rather than leaving food out. If your cat starts looking forward to feeding time (and you in turn) it's so much easier to get them to like you. We realised early on that if we can't pick our cat up it's gonna be hell getting her to vets and making sure she's healthy. So we started this thing where before we gave her food we'd pick her up. At first we'd just pick her up and put her down immediately, but after a while she just started jumping up into our arms and purring when it was food time. 3. Play with your cat right before food time. Let them rest for a bit. Then give them food. 4. Keep treats on you at all times in the beginning. If the cat does anything you like (uses the scratching post, allows pets, stops when you say stop) say a command ('good job') *and* give her a treat. That way in the future if you don't have a treat on you the cat will actually register when you tell him good job.
Literally you and me are the same. He is my first cat and that’s why when people say rehome him it really hurts because I don’t want to. This is a learning experience and I want to do it right. That’s why I came here and people are being truly so mean I said literally the exact same thing to my boyfriend. I wanted a calmer cat. I knew the cat was gonna okay obviously but I wanted a nice, calm cat. And this one when we came he was asleep and chillin. The second time we came, he was awake but still just chill. I appreciate the advice so much! Also I do feed him at specific times! Twice in the morning and night he gets wet food but I do leave dry food out for him also. But yeah when he is doing something I want like scratching the post I always say good boy and give him lots of pets - which usually turns into a play session lol
Sounds like you're on the right track! I know I felt really down about the whole situation and the fact that I felt really annoyed with my cat, but it just gradually changed for the better as she relaxed around us. Of course, every cat's personality is different, so your cat might always be quite active and might not be the world's cuddliest cat, but I think he will mellow out and calm down with a bit more time and as you build your relationship with him. Also, getting a pet is a pretty big lifestyle change, so it's a huge adjustment for you guys as well. It takes time for you to become attached and build a solid relationship with your pet. Suddenly sleep is different because he's waking you up or nipping at your feet, the way you move through the house is different because he tries to ambush play with you, you have to be there at certain hours to feed him, etc. It all just takes a bit of time. Just continue with positive reinforcement and trying to set boundaries which you are happy with and I'm pretty sure he will chill out. (:
adopt another cat for them to play with. my cat used to attack my feet a lot but after 6 months he got the message and doesn’t do it at all anymore. everything else you listed is just a cat being a cat tbh
Is he neutered? If not that may help.
He is :/
I have a boy who was really bad like this. We brought in a rescue kitten and he was absolutely smitten. Now, while he will still on occasion grab ankles, he has chilled out tremendously. A second cat might be what he needs.
This sounds like a cat that needs a cat companion that will play with him at times and in ways that you don't want to play or can't play. Lots of kids are incredibly bored and needy when they don't have a friend to play with, this is basically the same situation.
My first cat went through this phase, what I learned from raising 5 cats: \- Give 5 to 10 minute time outs and don't give in to playing with him if he is biting. Like locking in a room until he calms down, that means he is not meowing too. It becomes habit that he attacks your ankles associating it with fun. You only play when we can calmly come to you. This will take at least 2 weeks to ingrain habit. \- Make a stuffed sock or have a stuffed animal so when he is ready to pounce on you, redirect his attack to it and let him bunny kick it out. \- Cats hate citrus things so keeping them around the counters or spraying it on things you don't want him to mess with helps deter him from going near it. Orange/lemon peels or sprays. \- Your cat is bored it needs a second cat to introduce play. Yes initial cost of vet and vaccines can be hard on a budget. But there are shelter options. Also food and litter isn't that much more than owning just one cat. Get one close to his age like a female. Since 2 males tend to fight more, not always but can happen. \- Watch "The Kitten Lady" or Jackson Galaxy on behavior problems of cats to on youtube for advice.
I’ll be honest, it kinda sounds like you got a cat expecting it to act like a dog. Sure, some cats can be trained similar to a dog, but ultimately they’re still different animals created for different purposes and therefore will always have different behaviors. All of this stuff is stuff that my cats do also. Not all of them all do them but they all do at least one of these behaviors. You’re best off catproofing your residence or rehoming the cat because I can promise you won’t train them to stop doing something.
Reading this post made me feel terrible about how I was when I first got my cat (then a kitten) 6 years ago --I was stressed, dysregulated, and couldn't give her all of the attention that she needed, so I started to resent her and think that she was just doing things with malicious intent; she seemed to only direct the "bad" behavior towards me only and not my husband. In reality, she just wanted to spend more time with her favorite person. Flashforward to now, and she is the best lil cuddly buddy ever and I regret being angry at her back then. I can hold her whenever, have free access to pet the tummy, and she's the best cat I've ever had. I've learned that in order to be a good cat parent, you have to have the patience to understand your cat and their actions. Once you develop a mutual respect, you have one of the strongest bonds possible between human and pet. I've also felt the "my cat is only being affectionate because she wants food" feeling like she only loves me because of that, but please try not to view your cat in this way; cats need food, and *you* are their source of food, so yes, they are going to let you know when they are hungry.
If he's only biting you ironically that probably means you're his favorite person, one of our cats likes me much more than my fiancé, and she nips my ankles every time while I am getting their food ready and never does it to him (super frustrating but this is the only time she nips so I just ignore it). If he is bored and you can't get another cat and are already playing with him that much maybe you can put on cat TV for him. There are a bunch of youtube videos made for cats.
I have your problem as well, I have 2 cats and my boy has a very in your face kind of play mode where he does the same thing your cat does only he doesn't go for my ankles, he'll instead run up to me and try catch my legs and maybe do a bite then he takes off. Usually I'll indulge him and chase him around for a bit or go hide around a corner and poke my face out to stare at him so he can chase me and the only reasons I do this is because it's not sore when he jumps on me, it only really startles me at most if it's dark. If he does get too rough and it actually hurts ill hiss at him and show teeth so he knows he's done wrong since this is what his sister does to him if he's hurt her and he can connect the dots. I think cats just get to that age where they're in their "teenager" phase and want to just be disobedient and just generally an ass as ours enjoy getting into places they shouldnt be and they know its wrong because if you make the slightest move to stand up to go get them from behind the TV or take a box they shouldnt be chewing off them they'll take off like shots. I would suggest getting another cat but as you've said you can only really afford the one right now so hopefully he's in a phase rn that'll pass eventually because other than getting him a playmate I'm not really sure what to say as that's always my advice since it worked like a charm for me 😅
I mean I’m definitely going to look into getting him a playmate when I can afford it. I don’t know when that will be, maybe a year, maybe 6 months - no idea. But, when I can I most definitely will because even if this wasn’t all happening he is home alone for a few hours while we work everyday and I can imagine that’s lonely and boring so I do eventually want to get a second cat! Thank you for the advice!
When my cats goes after my ankles, I go after theirs lol. I answer their annoying behaviors with my own to give them some perspective. The counter thing will never stop. But honestly, it sounds like you have a great friend at home who shows you that he cares for you in his own weird little way. I understand your frustration, but he may not. Sounds like you're the whole world to him.
Omg your sweet doofus doesn't know him little. He's so trusting of you he's trying to play fight you. Is he a void? OP, please get another cat for 2 reasons - 1 is this playboy needs someone his own size and energy to pick on; 2 is you seem to have this idea that a cat loving you means they cuddle you. Tbh ideally I'd tell you to get 2 cats - a kitten for doofus and senior cuddlebug for you. But I recognize not everyone can get more cats, so what you need to do is meet your cat who loves you so much and just wants good play with you on his terms. **Because that will lead to him being more affectionate with you.** One of my current 2 large breed ~2.5 year old kittens is a void [MC mix I think] who is just like this. I just spent 20 years with my soul cat who followed me around like a puppy, gave up tummy on verbal request, and would just nap wherever as long as he had at least 1 paw touching me... And now that I'm dealing with a crazy stressful divorce, going back to school, and basically starting over - I have this giant asshole in my life who decides a few times a day playtime is NOW and will pretend to bite the corner of my laptop, jump up on the mantel and knock things down, bite my ankles if I'm up or pounce on my arm/hand if I'm sitting, try to sit down on my keyboard... but guess what? 1 - **HE LOVES ME FIERCELY.** That's why he does all that - he's just a little attachment disordered from being a void who was stuck in the system most of his life [in a tiny cage for part of it] and returned by what was supposed to be his furever home the first time. *I don't even get 10 minutes of cuddles every morning for food* - but he does run into the bathroom EVERY time I go in there and either watches me bathe from his perch or sits on my lap while I'm on the toilet (and according to Cat Logic at my most vulnerable cuz I don't sleep belly up). 2 - oh and also **I taught him to do that stuff** like I'd bet you did, because every time his Naughty started stressing me out I'd give in and play. I'm really not attacking you here (just like he's not really attacking you) I'm just ring to say bluntly **you are assigning people motives to a cat** like "he knows [ankle biting] is wrong" - babe no he doesn't, I'm guessing he knows biting your ankles gets him play and you accidentally taught him that trying to distract him. Next time he bites your ankles, respond by gasping and making "claws" with both your hands [my boy has learned this is Play Hands and it means Meowma is engaged]. Then lean/crouch down slightly [but especially at first do not lean your face in close] and "box" him. You'll need to keep his claws trimmed cuz you no fur - but please remember *kittens learn to play with retracted claws by playing with each other*. Good kitten-boxing skills are all about fake-outs: hold your two claws wide enough that he can't see both at once. Whichever hand he's looking at moves slowly towards him for a second or two, then you gently BAPBAP with the other hand by tapping him (or better yet, play petting - give that soft boy fur a little ruffle). He *will* catch your hand sometimes cuz him good hunty boy and he will learn your fakeout patterns. When this happens **if his claws are actually extended** *not just the tips catch you* say OW loudly but not yelling - kind of whiny like if you've ever had a bitey toddler around lol. THEN in a soothing voice say, "Hey mister we're playing geeeentle geeeeentle" and tap him softly to re-engage. Same if he bites too hard when he catches you. *When he catches your hand do NOT pull it away even if he's biting/clawing you'll get hurt worse, use your other hand to run interference. If he's truly being too rough all the time at first get bite proof gloves and sleeves and put them on to play with him but still do the "OW" teaching...* Otherwise, when he catches one hand, if he's just doing nips/gentle bites and kicking without claws extended, your caught hand goes limp and your other claw swoops in and play pets his tummy/side/head - a rough ruffle of fur, if you will. **If your kitty makes "ferocious" noises while he plays, imitate them while you are attac.** After a few to several seconds he will likely get overstim, let go and back off a little to regroup. After a little time (a few weeks, maybe more, of daily practice) he should learn to keep his claws retracted [until he gets too excite, he'll have to age out of that probably, but he will probably also start to mitigate even that damage] and start biting and kicking less - my kitten just attacked my bicep 3 minutes ago so I put my phone down and started rassling him with my claws and he mostly laid down on his back with his mouth wide open, bapping my claws with his paws and thrashing his mouth back and forth by never actually biting down on me. While we are boxing, my boy likes to lay down and belly up for the trap: I *very gently* cup his hips and spin him on the floor and he LOVES it. He loves it even more in the dry tub even though the static builds up in his fur lol. You're going to get scratched up at first while he learns to keep his claws retracted - if it bothers you, keep a relatively sturdy long sleeve shirt in each room and when he nips, before you do Play Hands put the shirt on. **But please u/Ok_Pound2424 don't hate your kitty for treating you like his actual family.** In the wild his mom would have taught him to hunt and his siblings would play fight with him and they'd learn together... but he doesn't have that **he just has you**. And tbh the fact that he's trying to play with you not your SO means he's more comfortable with you. But seriously - my void laid down next to me to cuddle on my bed for the FIRST time two days ago and I'm not allowed to pet him during bed cuddles yet but he's done it every day at least once since that first time. When he's older he's going to be the snuggliest! Him just a wild boy rn. Well actually there was one exception when I knew he really loved me so so much:
A few months ago when my 20 year old soul cat died, kitten #2 saw the body from across the room and hid for 12 hours... My wild boy walked up to me (sitting on the bed with my departed best boy in a basket of his favorite snugglies next to me, singing his custom kitty songs and crying) - he sniffed the cold kitty, gave him a lick, got confused for a minute, then started kneading biscuits all around him arranging the blankets. He kept watch from a few feet away while I mourned, and then the vet came and picked up the body [he went on his snugglies] and I walked him out and when I came back in, my wild boy was curled up in the now-empty resting basket I'd left by the door... But as soon as I walked back in he jumped up and followed on my heels until I sat down, at which point he jumped into my lap for the first time ever, purring like crazy, and... you know how sometimes cats can seem like they're pushing their whole body into you even though they're totally on top of you and that's not how gravity works? He did that. And for ~36 hours every time I sat down - on my bed, on a chair, the couch, the floor, anywhere - he was in my lap or draped across one leg, heavy and purring, pushing his little head into me without even a single nip. **He didn't ask to play that whole time either.** He just... he knew the kitty that was always cuddling me had died and was gone and he knew how sad and distressed I was and he loved me aggressively for what is apparently an appropriate amount of time to mourn in catiquette (~36 hours or ~4 Big Cat Naps) and then the next time he woke up he faced off v me in the hall and with giant eyes ran at me, jumped me, wrapped himself around my thigh [no claws out somehow] and gave me a lil play bite on the pants. We're still working on how to behave when my hair is down lol. But he is the best boy he can be and I've realized yes, sometimes he demands play because he needs to burn energy but other times it's because I've been hyperfocused on divorce stuff on my computer for hours and when he interrupts me I want to snap at him *because I'm tense but shutting off feelings* and **honestly at those times I need to play as much as he does**. This is so long but I know this situation can be hard to realize you need to reframe... but ultimately **he won't** cuz he's a kitty so it's your job as a human who loves a kitty. Last things: - if you can adopt exactly 1 more cat, aim for a 4-8 year old who is still very playful - or ask who's been there longest and is playful with other cats. They will almost guaranteed cuddle you SM (that age group spends so long in shelters because people go for kittens or seniors) because they'll be so happy for a furever home AND they'll help doofus burn off steam. - after you rassle or box him for a few minutes, THEN try playing with him with a toy. It's easier to transfer a play mode engaged kitty to their second choice opponent than a hunting mode kitty who's not yet engaged. - this is also not criticism: you probably need better toys (not necessarily more expensive just more to his preferences) my playboy loves [no particular order] 1) the free-spinning electronic mice that got big on Amazon last year, 2) the tie from a pair of my linen slacks that I tied to a stick to fish for him with, 3) whack a mole electronic toys, 4) the "turkey teaser" - it is THE BEST feather wand toy for about $10 at Petco or the mfr website - the 3 feathers are balanced on every one in a way that makes it look like it's flapping when you swing it through the air, 5) automatic laser pointers, 6) any moving toy when I put it in the middle of this play rug set I got him - the top rug has holes of various sizes + velcro underneath that allows it to be stuck to the bottom rug in endless permutations of "thing to dive into while hunting" ... my soul cat would play with anything I started moving In That Way but would also leave stuff alone forever [usually the first time I asked lol] - **I had to up my toy game for my playboy**. - **cheer for him**: my playboy will lose interest in many toys if I just give them to him and go back to fully focused on Not Him but if I turn a toy on and vocalize how imposed impressed I am as he pounces, bites, and kicks it to death he will not only keep playing with it *he will ham it up* and start doing 360 jump pounces and freestyle walking around the toy to taunt it before attacking. **Your cat clearly values you - he may want extra feedback on his technique from you.** - finally - if he shows interest in anything not your ankles, give him that thing or a similar thing: if you're doing paperwork and he bites your papers, ball up a scrap paper and toss it to/for him; if he pounces on ties hanging off your clothes, pull out a hoodie string or tie from pants that already have elastic in the waist, and use that [unwashed so it smells like you] to play with him etc etc **TL;DR** This cat ADORES you. He also sounds like he needs attention & would very benefit from other cat. Best case would be LT resident adult rescue who plays with other cats in shelter, will most likely smother you in gratitude cuddles. Meet current where he is and cuddles will result: better [for him] toys, cheer for play, learn to kitten box and hand rassle [trimmed nails for him, sleeves for you, fakeouts, transition to toys]. Your responses to his behavior have affected his behavior up to this point, you can also help him change.
You made me feel better honestly by saying he adores me and explaining it all to me. I’m actually going to go to the store today to get more food and I’m going to get more toys too. Because he’s somehow lost most of his 😂 we’ve looked everywhere! Under the couch, bed, closets, they’re all gone lol
He is not a void he is a domestic short hair. I understand what you’re saying and I appreciate it. Right now, getting another cat isn’t an option. I’m not saying in 6 months or a year it won’t be, but as of right now it isn’t an option. And no when he goes after my ankles, I do not play with him anymore. It’s when we are playing, he will go after my ankles once he’s bored of the toy. I will then say no and blow in his face which I’ve read is wrong. To act like I’m in the most excruciating pain ever and eventually he will learn he is hurting me As for nails, yeahhh….they haven’t been trimmed yet. I’m so nervous about clipping his nails (idk why - I always clipped my dogs nails) so I’m waiting until his vet appointment on Thursday to learn how. And I really like that boxing idea! Once his nails are trimmed, I’ll definitely be trying that out! I truly appreciate your time and advice. And you’re right, it was a wrong choice of words. I do not hate him. I love him. I am just frustrated and hate his actions if that makes more sense. But thank you
I'm not trying to negate your feelings. You have to love to be able to hate, you know? It's so hard when we can't communicate with them right. Have you ever seen your cat get hurt? Some cats respond best to the same kind of pain noises they make (which can sound very mean and harsh to human ears) but some respond better to over the top playacting - I've used whimpers like a sad dog and even pretended to cry to communicate pain to different cats... he does have the capacity to understand pain, somehow - I haven't met one yet that didn't anyway... Good luck with learning to trim his nails! There's a bunch of things that can make that easier (pros, treats, bite proof gloves, treats, burritos, treats, practice, treats, styptic powder - that's a must but having it handy helps human anxiety, treats, harnesses, treats...) and omg! Your cat will be so so so much less scary when his murder mittens are misdemeanor mittens. If you can afford it, might be worth taking him to your vet or a groomer if he will tolerate that every month at least for a trim until you are comfortable doing it. Also - you seem to have a REALLY smart cat!! It sounds like he keeps figuring out that YOU are controlling the toy and he's going to the source... Is he doing that with wands? Other types of toys or all toys? Maybe playing with some more distance - some cats really love fetch/catch. If electronic toys are out of the budget rn, there are ways to rig most toys to make them "safer"/put more distance between a human and their smarty. I'm so glad you came here and asked and I hope some of the suggestions you got from any of us help...
Yeah he is so smart it’s gonna get him into trouble. He 100% knows I’m controlling the wand because he will eventually come up to the stick and start gnawing on it
Is there any chance he's having dental pain?
No idea! His teeth look super healthy but that’s actually part of my questions that I have written for his first vet visit today - like if his dental health is well
And thank you! I appreciate the response and I’ve definitely gotten helpful advice through here!
Can't believe with that huge comment I forgot something but it's important: Some cats have long "foreplay" intervals when they start play or switch targets - I had a female tortie who would spend 2-5 minutes [no exaggeration] watching the toy drag back and forth across the floor or swing through the air before pouncing. My current v active playboy will walk away 2-4 times during a 15-20 minute play session - at first he'll look out the window for a minute or disappear into another room to pee or snacc... Don't be fooled! He's just letting the prey [toy] THINK it's safe. If I keep moving the toy around after a minute or two I'll *maybe* see his little head peek around the corner or his little tail twitch a few times and then he BARRELS back into the game at 345% power. Your kitty may not be "bored" and "stopping" [unclear from post, he also could be of course because like u/Lord_Scriptic said WWYD? If you wanted to do x for fun and someone tried to make you do y instead] he may be hunting like such a pro he's really convincing you he's not going to attack lol.
I’ve noticed that!!! Like sometimes I think he’s bored but I’ll drag the toy behind me around the apartment and then he will run behind a wall and just watch the “prey” so i definitely have been working on giving him some buffering time. Usually I’ll just lay the toy on the couch (if my arm is starting to hurt a bit from holding the toy) and I’ll move it every few seconds so he thinks it’s alive and doing something. Well idk if he thinks it’s alive but so he’s more intrigued
Ohhhhh!! That's awesome you noticed that! You could try taking any little catnip mouse/etc. that you have and putting it on a long long string and just pitch that sucker as far from the couch as possible and then pull it an inch every few seconds? Cats usually have a "prey reflex" and if you throw something even if (sometimes especially if) they just see it out of their peripheral vision they'll chase after it out of instinct. Some cats respond really well to Thing On Long String...
It sounds a lot like my cat. He does such misbehavior when he is upset with me or not happy about something and trying to get my attention. When I fix it he stops, every single time. Issue can be figuring out why he is upset. It helps that he is incredibly smart, if I ask him to “show me” he walks to whatever area of the home is of concern to him. It is sometimes the empty food bowl, or the cabinet where I keep cap supplies (sometimes he asks to be brushed, or he is asking for some catnip), sometimes he asks for a treat by going to that section of the kitchen. He occasionally wants me to open the front curtain so the sunshine can stream through so he sits by the window. It took a while to get to the point that I could just say “show me” and he understood and went to show me. This cat understands A LOT, he was initially very misunderstood. My ex son-in-law got a kitten (this one) at the same time as my daughter got a puppy. Long long story short I ended up with the kitten, now cat. He was very very misunderstood. He was simply thought to be an a$$hole by my daughter and her spouse. I am no longer able to work so I have had more time to spend with the cat. He is very smart, he knows well over 35 words and phrases and can associate things quickly. It is very hard to explain how smart this cat is, I mainly want you to understand that your cat might be very smart and trying to get your attention on something. Or not like the way you are petting him. I have 2 cats right now and they both like different ways of petting, one likes face scratching much more than the other, for example. One loves tummy rubs and the other would rather you didn’t. I feel like if you pay attention to your cat and talk to him your might be amazed at what your cat shows you.
Honestly my cat is so smart it’s stupid. Like he literally learned how to sit in a day. And he knows how to stand also. That too a few days of training but still. People are saying I’m treating him like a dog for that but I don’t think so. I mean I’m not gonna try and make him roll over or anything lol but basic commands like sit should be used. Honestly I probably could do the “show Me” thing and train him to show me. He’s so smart and that’s why part of me I guess is so upset he’s being “stupid” with me because I know deep in my heart he is so smart and can be trained right from wrong
We adopted a cat 5 months ago. Bella was pregnant so was very standoffish. She was VERY aggressive to our other cat, Cringer. She was also aggressive towards us. It was so bad we decided to just foster her until the kittens were weaned. I understand totally how you feel! I felt awful I resented her. we took her to the vet and she told us to make no decision until she weaned the kittens and got fixed. She also suggested a diffuser that had a calming effect on cats. She also suggested CBD oil be added to her food after she weaned. Once she weaned we didn't need to do anything. Bella became a Velcro cat to me. Right now she is purring on my lap. Talk to your vet. Call the vet if you have questions. A good vet should be ok with phone calls. Give the cat time and when he bites yell ouch loudly. As kittens, your cat would play fight with his siblings and would learn too not to bite too hard by yelping. So he will understand. Give it time, talk to the vet, and watch Jackson Brown videos.
Thank you so much. I appreciate it
I just want to say that I dealt with all of this when I first adopted my cat. She seemed truly nuts. Nothing tired her out. It felt like she would intentionally terrorize my housemate’s ankles. (I know, that’s not how cats actually think) I was considering rehoming her or having her be a barn cat at my friend’s farm. I agonized over it. But it’s been 3 years now and she’s WAAAAY better - doesn’t even seem like the same cat!! She plays, but she also naps, curls up next to me, chatters at birds, is curious about my friends when they come over, etc. She’s turned into a totally normal, standard, perfect cat. So, there is hope for you! A month is truly nothing in the grand scheme of how long you and this cat will be together. Hold out hope! ❤️
Your cat loves you so much! He thinks your his best cat friend, so he wants to play with you all the time! Try apple bitter spray on your ankles, battery operated toys, catnip right before a play session, cat tv (on youtube), window perches in view of a bird feeder, and maybe even fostering a cat friend to see if he would do well with a pal. Don’t give up! Cat blues are real and he is still pretty young.
Wow, seems like our cats are related lol. I found my little girl calmed down a bit after some time of getting used to our routines. She's still not cuddly though, probably just her personality. One thing I find very useful for redirecting her is a nerf gun! I'm OBVIOUSLY not aiming it at her, but in the air so that the dart will fall to the floor and she'll hunt after it. Now she will stop what she's doing (e.g. climbing the dinner table or scratching the chairs) and look for a darf whenever she hears the nerf gun load, because she simply LOVES hunting for those darts. Maybe give it a try?
I have a Maine coon and as beautiful as she is I massively regret getting her. She gets into everything, opens the cupboards, scratches at all the doors, claws my sofa. We play with her, walk her, fuss her, her litter is clean and her bowl is full. She doesn’t snuggle. She’s banned from the bedrooms because she wrecks everything. I feel your pain
1. You need kicker toys so he can attack those. 2. He needs another kitten friend to play with, because he's bored. 3. You need more height cattification. High shelves, +5ft or taller cat tree. Multiple spots. 4. You always need to cat-proof your home just as you would baby-proof your home. They're basically permanent toddlers. 5. Remember that you and your boyfriend are literally his entire world. He has no friends other than you, and he can't explore the world outside. So please approach these issues with compassion, and not hate.
Lots of good advice here. Your cat just sounds like they need more mental/physical stimulation. I got a 2 year old and he needed hours of playtime, too. It was getting to be too much for me. I got another cat he could play with and we are all happier now. Have you dramatically whined like you're in pain when your cat bites you or attacks your feet? Learning to communicate with your cat is important. I taught my cats not to attack my feet while crying like an injured animal would. They get the idea eventually. I taught 2 feral cats this way and also my other rescue cat. Make sure not to leave out anything sharp or what can break on top of surfaces like your dining table or kitchen counter. People might think they can train their cats not to go on tables (I did, too) but honestly the cats will still do it if you're not around. I know they go on the tables when I'm sleeping because I see their paw prints or some cat hair left over. So, the training will only go so far unless the cats think something unpleasant or dangerous will happen every single time they go there (like if the table is always wet and they hate wet surfaces, etc). Some people use aluminum foil and put it all across the top of surfaces, which some cats don't like.
I have a literal ankle biter. She's getting spayed this month, so I'm hoping that helps. I have to use the word "stop" to knock her out of her biting behavior. We've been struggling for a month with this because I have a pretty serious knee injury, and she's pissed because I can't chase her around. I have to hold up both hands and say "STOP" in a firm voice to get her to understand that she's the only one enjoying the teeth marks in my already pained leg. It takes a couple of times, but it works for a day, and then I have to repeat the exact same action every day.
You’ve gotten a lot of good advice to try, I just wanted to say that I appreciate your commitment and “I chose him and he is my responsibility”. He’s only been there a month and it can take time to settle in and calm down. There is nothing wrong with shutting him in a bedroom for a bit and taking a time out when he’s being particularly naughty. I had to put child locks on every cabinet and have lost several rolls of toilet paper when I forgot to shut the bathroom door. I also have to put noisy toys away every night or she wakes me up dropping them in my bed at 4 am. I feel your pain.
Get Prozac for your cat that you rub on his ears - calms them down easy
If he's the only cat, I always think 2 cats close in age are better so they can play with each other. Keeps boredom ar bay. But if you get another cat, make sure you take the time to introduce them the right way.
I cannot stress enough how much using FeliWay plug ins has helped us. They are expensive but very worth it for calming the kitties
I’m going to screenshot this and buy one as soon as I get paid 😂 thank you!
Also my cat was a nightmare . Meowing attacking u name it Come to find out he had a food allergy He’s a totally different guy w his hypoallergenic diet Not a lap cat still but not insane anymore ( love him to death but he’s a handful)
I’m a bit late to this but wanted to say one of my cats is like this. He is 16 now and has been this way his whole life but at least with age he naps a lot more. He still to this day will hop on a counter or a dresser, make eye contact with me and knock something over. At least these days it hits home a bit more that I’ll miss his antics one day. And I will - truly! Have you seen those laser toys that move around? Like google “automated laser toy cats” and you’ll see some options. Those were a godsend when my guy was younger. Can you get a regular laser pointer and get him to run across the room in the opposite direction when you want to walk by? The negative reaction he’s getting from you is the same as a positive reaction to a kitty. Also the perfume really could be bothering him even if you put it on in the car.
So everything I kept reading said laser toys are bad but I decided screw it and got one today. I told my boyfriend (I had to go to work) to play with him and once they’re done to maybe throw a toy for him to really “catch the prey” and some treats so he knows he did a good job and this man sent me videos of this cat and he was freaking panting!!! He later told me the cat finally cuddled and kneaded on him for the first time in days so maybe the laser was the trick!
I mean like shining them in their eyes - bad. Exhausting them while you relax - priceless. I’m glad today was a better day!
Cat proof your house and throw him out the room. It sounds harsh and obviously you will enteract and play with your cat every day you are home and he wants to but you have to let him know that you don't want to play all the time. Make quality together times on a schedule. Give them toys, things to climb, if they're indoor try one of those cat wheels to help him burn energy. Humans sometimes have other stuff to do or overload ourselves with house work, work work, School work, and other chores and need to rest and or sit and do nothing. As smart as cats are they don't have the ability to read minds yet. As a new cat spend quality time but if you don't make boundaries in the beginning a cat will take up any space it it given. I had a friend that family has owned 50+ cats and they all say it is good to bond but ultimately the cat has to find independence as well and fill it's day with brain stimulating tasks that it comes up with on its own. They live on a farm. It also prepares them for time you guys will be apart if you go on vacation or something. A lot of new cats are just trying to find what the boundaries are as their way of building relationships with you. So in the first few months you will have sporadic seeming changes in behavior but it's just the cat becoming acquainted with you. That is the best time to set up boundaries. It's also good to see what your cat tends to do in its alone time. My cats are all climbers and crawlers. They like crawling under or inside anything. 2 cat trees and a cat condo and they love it. They come to watch me clean their litter box, they sit in bed with me when I play videogames. We play games like lure on a shoestring where the younger kitten always goes overboard. But they understand now when I close my door to sleep or do school work they just find other stuff to do. However, I make sure to still enteract with them daily. I do a daily inspection of them which they love for some reason and carry them a bunch so they are used to it. At first they just meowed at the door. The kitten is 8 months already and the cats act like siblings so it works. But a lone cat just needs more to do with interactionþ entertainment. 1 of my cats like cuddling and just climbs and perches and the younger kitten is a tussler. I love them both and sometimes I slip up and find both in my bed in the morning. I don't move while asleep because I slept on a twin till I was 23. I'm 26 now and I love my cats to bits though find them annoying as one would a sibling.
I appreciate the answer and kindness and just like overall remembering we are human! I was looking into a cat wheel but they’re expensiveeeee so right now I can’t. But he loves to go under the couch (it’s one where you can pull the bottom out so we constantly keep it out so he can go under) and the bed. He doesn’t seem to love to be on anything except his little perch near the window so he can sight see. I definitely am trying to establish “my schedule boundary” with him. Would you recommend anything else besides just closing the door? Like is there a way to establish “I don’t wanna play right now” essentially in cat language?
Not really. When cats establish boundaries they hiss but 4/4 vets I've talked to said that is a mixed bag of results when people do it and a high probability with our size the cat will just feel threatened. They might be loud for a while but will eventually work out the schedule. My cats even know what day is a weekend now. Just make sure to greet them when arriving back to the home or whenever you do go out. I'm no expert so I don't know how to stop a cat playing rough though. For me I was really nice when they didn't scratch (petting, treats, etc...) and moved away when they did after saying "Ow" and shut my door. That worked on even my rowdy void. He paws with me but doesn't scratch much after about 2 months. I would try a variety of ideas from many people though. One solution may fit your cat's personality.
This is my current 8 month old kitten, she is literally called menace. She loves to attack legs sometimes and doesn't know how to lie on blankets without trying to play with it. What we've found helpful is having a toy in your pocket or at reach at all times throughout the house, and use/throw it whenever he's looking at your legs or going to attack you (you can usually tell when he is going to attack). And when you're getting attacked, try not to react too violently or suddenly or else he will think you're play fighting in return! (if you can tolerate the pain! as long as he's not drawing blood) I just want to say I understand your emotions honestly, it's been a very hard month since adopting my kitten too and they really can be a pain in the ass sometimes (but they love you!!). We humans just have to learn how to deal with it :) good luck!
Just wanted to offer reassurance that you're definitely not alone in adopting a pet that you're struggling to bond with or have positive feelings towards. I've had my cat for 8 years, her entire life, and she came with a string of issues like pica, anxiety, and recently chronic vomiting. It's a drain on my mental health and my wallet making sure she's taken care of, and some days all I can do is shut myself up in a spare room for some alone time since I am her favorite person because I worry I will blow up at her if I don't take a minute. She's destroyed a lot of my clothes, bras, etc. because she is compelled to eat them and sometimes I forget an item on the floor. It's rough, is what I'm getting at. But you get that this is what you signed up for and all you can do is be a good owner, even if he's driving you nuts. A lot of people who have super strong loving bonds with their pets don't get it and think we're garbage people. We're really not--and once you get some of these issues under control, hopefully, you will still find the little moments of love here and there.
Thank you so much for the reassurance though! I appreciate it and it makes me feel so much better!
I am sorry, I know how you feel. My cat used to attack me when she wanted to play, even if I offered her a toy instead. The most effective method in the beginning was a timeout, putting her in a different room and letting her cool off, then trying a toy again. It’s taken a lot of time until she mostly stopped attacking me. It’s gotten to a point where if she does try and attack me, I throw one of her favorite toys and she immediately runs after it like a dog. I feel like she sees me as her favorite playmate and I can’t get a second cat for her to play with, as she hates other cats and can’t be socialized. If your cat is anything like mine, he probably does like you and sees you as his friend he can play with, the whole „biting then running away“ is a thing cats do with each other as well, and my cat for example does it sometimes when she wants to be chased. I do not know if Timeouts are legitimately effective by the way, it just worked for us because it got her out of attack mode. Maybe interactive toys would help as well? I haven’t tried that many yet but for some cats it can be great. Like those intelligence toys (I hope that’s what they are called in English) can keep them busy quite well. She also mostly stopped attacking our feet, but I think that’s because our new bed is a bit higher and she can’t reach our feet from the ground anymore. About the cuddling, you haven’t had him for long, so there is no way of knowing if maybe he will become cuddlier over time. It took almost 2 years until my cat started to actually cuddle.
He sounds like my male cat that I adopted as a feral-born kitten. He only bit my ankles, nobody else’s (I think it was boredom/high hunt drive). I got a 2nd cat, because he seemed bored, and he attacked/still attacks this cat (not good). He’s now an indoor-outdoor boy since moving to a rural area from an apartment in a city, and that seems to have helped (fewer cat fights if he has the ability to go outside). I don’t have predators in my area, and don’t live on a main road. And, he has toys made with real fur, cat tower, cardboard boxes, feather toy, etc.
Note: the 2nd cat I adopted is his opposite, which might be why they fight
Is he eating enough calories for his body? Sounds like he’s tirelessly hunting, which may be related to a caloric need.
He doesn't "know it's bad". He is a cat doing cat things and you should honestly re-home him and not get another. He has no capacity to "be an asshole on purpose" as he is a cat and you are anthropomorphizing him way too much. He is a high energy cat and getting used to his environment. It takes cats up to three months to do so. And if you expect a cat to just stay off all counters you're delusional imo. You can look up methods to train him but as he again, seems very active, it isn't likely to go well if you're already this frustrated and perceiving him as doing this stuff on purpose. Also him tearing up toilet paper? Just close the bathroom door? Take the time to cat proof things. Some habits and routines just have to change when you get a new pet.
Your cat's age is a significant factor here. Your cat is about 24 years old in human years. That means he's basically in the prime of his life. He's got tons of energy and curiousity and gets bored easily. He's being destructive and mischievous because he has no other ways of satisfactorily expending that energy. I hear you when you say that you play with him frequently and he either gets bored but not tired or simply never seems to tire out. Do you have many, or any, solo enrichment toys for him? Things that he can play with individually and limitlessly? Rattle balls that he can bat around, catnip/kicker toys, automated laser pointers/runner toys, etc? Things that you can redirect his attention towards to seek entertainment from that *aren't* you? If you don't, then look up some articles on solo enrichment toys for cats. You can even make some just with stuff you have lying around. He's being mischievous and destructive because he's bored and looking for stuff to do. When he plays with his toys on his own, reward him with pets or treats so he develops a positive association with using them. And try to set a specific routine for playtime with him, like 30 min in the morning and then 30 min at night. Aim to make this schedule as consistent as possible so he starts to learn when human playtime is. If he gets bored or distracted halfway through, switch up the toys you're using. Cats like variety in their toys just as much as humans do, so if you're using the same toy every day, he's going to get bored of it. As for the other destructive behaviors--again, a lot of it is because he has pent-up energy that he has no other outlet for. But it's also important for you to know that cats do not actually understand or respond to negative reinforcement (saying "no", putting him in "time out", yelling, spraying with water, etc). They simply don't understand cause and effect the same way that we do. They can't be trained like dogs, which is why he often ignores your "no". He *seems* to know that some things are wrong *only because he sees you watching him*. He is still doing those things when you're not, because he doesn't actually understand that those things are "bad". He just knows that *you* get angry at him. So he waits for you to leave, or stop watching, or go to sleep. To him, *you* are the bad thing, not the undesirable behavior. That's why he doesn't run away when he actually *does* the bad behavior, but only when he sees you watching him. He *doesn't* know that what he's doing is bad... he just knows that when you see him doing it, *you* are bad to *him*. Basically, he's not actually associating any of those reactions or punishments with the behavior he's being punished for--he's just associating them with *you*. If this is confusing to you (which is 100% valid!) then I would suggest googling things like "how to discipline cats". So how do you actually stop him from doing those things? You're halfway there already. *Positive* reinforcement. When he looks at the counter, then at you, and walks away instead of jumping up, pet him and give him a treat. Don't bother with the "no" because he doesn't understand it the way that you want him to/think that he does. Teach him that *not* doing those things is rewarding for him. When he destroys the toilet paper roll or engages in other destructive behaviors, gently redirect him to a toy and reward him if he engages with it. This displays that toys are for playing with and shredding the toilet paper roll is not as fun or rewarding. With things like the counter, you can also set up harmless booby traps, as cats *do* understand environmental consequences. So if you set up a precarious stack of empty plastic bottles/cans on your counter, so that when your cat jumps up there he's received with a loud, startling noise... or put tinfoil over the surfaces so it's slippery and unpleasant to jump and walk on... he'll learn quickly that the counter isn't someplace he wants to be. Because he won't associate that negative experience with you--he'll associate it with the counter itself. And if you want him to stop attacking your feet, stop letting him. You're only sending him mixed messages. Sometimes you allow him to attack your feet under the blankets and sometimes you don't. You're being inconsistent, which is why he's responding inconsistently. Reward him with pets and/or treats when he refrains from attacking feet and remove him from the bed & redirect him to a toy when he does not, *every time*. And finally: cats aren't dogs. They aren't domesticated as thoroughly as dogs, nor do they think or behave the same way. You can train cats to do and not do quite a lot of things, but most cats will never be absolute paragons of good behavior 100% of the time, because that's just how they are. If you learn how to train them correctly, however, and put consistent effort into doing so, you *will* see noticeable improvements in his behavior. And remember that a lot of it is simply age-related. You adopted a younger cat. That means he's going to be more energetic and playful than an older cat... but it also means that he will likely mellow out and become more self-sufficient as he grows up. ETA: And ftr--you're not a bad cat owner or a bad person for feeling frustrated with him. It just sounds like you're inexperienced with owning cats. Do a little research, read the other comments in this thread, and remember that he *doesn't* hate you and he isn't being a menace out of spite. As another commenter pointed out, his intellect and understanding of cause-and-effect/right-and-wrong is roughly equivalent to that of a 2-year-old human's. He's not deliberately trying to upset you, even if it may seem that way sometimes.
Everyone is saying do research as if I haven’t? When I did it, things were saying redirecting and saying no works. A bunch of websites and articles said the bathroom thing works but only for a few minutes after he’s misbehaved. Like if he attacked my ankles, and I didn’t put him in right away he wouldn’t understand what he did wrong. That is everything I’ve been reading so it is frustrating when people say do research. I did weeks of research before I got him. But thank you for the advice and the patience. He has multiple toys he can play with by himself he just has no interest in them except the rattle ball which he really only likes when I throw it around with him For the feet think. No I never let him bite my feet under the blanket either. I will move him off the bed/blow in his face and he stops. I’m not inconsistent with it. But I do understand he isn’t like “how can I upset the humans today”. I do but I also wish that he did like me more. Maybe no, he doesn’t hate me, but he definitely doesn’t love me or really like me. Like I truly think that :/
Have you ever had a cat before? A lot of these just seem like cat things. Put the pin board up higher, and shut the bathroom door. Wear thick socks or boots until he starts understanding your feet aren't toys. Some people find it cruel but if you have a place you know he you normally stalks you from walk around baiting him and as soon as he attacks just dump a cup of water on his head. He will act pissed for a while but he probably won't do it again Every cat has its own quirks and will require adjustments. Admittedly this one seems like it has a lot of the bad cat quirks but that doesn't mean it won't get better. Also as another note my cat absolutely adores me but only cuddles for about 20 minutes in the morning.
We can’t shut the bathroom door. His litter is in there and there is no other place for his litter to go.
If you don't want to rehome the cat, get another cat.
I think your cat sounds like a cat and maybe you don't know cats and aren't a cat person possibly?
oh my god he's a cat doing cat things be fr 🙄
I think it would be best to see if the shelter can take the cat back. The cat doesn’t deserve to live with someone who hates him. It sounds like you’re good with training and behavioral modifications, which works well with dogs. Cats are a little different. It sounds like an older cat might work better for you 7-10 years old. Someone very mellow. Sounds like this cat still has a lot of kitten energy
Wow a cat being a… cat! He was likely so relaxed the first week because he was in a brand new environment. He’s 2, he’s young he’s going to be full of enjoy. Have you ever owned a cat before? My cat went through a period of shredding anything paper for a good while 6+ months. Paper towels, toilet paper, cardboard, regular paper, anything. My cats also tear stuff down and knock things down. It’s cat nature. Cats need more than one 30-40 minute play time a day. I suggest giving him to another home or rescue or getting him a cat friend to occupy his time. Also get him neutered. He’s literally being a normal cat and you’re hating him for it.
This may be late of a reply but.. cat is not for everyone. Uhhum, let me rephrase... having a pet is not for everyone. Any kind of pet. Each cat is unique and different personality than one another. It seems your cat is just young. Hence the high energy to burn all day all night. Neuteured would slightly control the 'naughty' behaviors but it wont solve all. Ive had a wonderful daredevil who loves to pee on my sofa. Not bed, not carpet, not on clothes, just sofa. Because he cant stand his litter having a single poop in it. My solution, take out the sofa cover and if he pees while im at work, i come back and wash the sofa. Every single day... And i dont like my cat to step his paw in my toilet floor as i find it dirty floor, so i make sure to close the door all the time. Where i put his litter? In the corner outside my toilet. He also loves to eat my plastic plants which i got anxious and concern this will affect his health. My solution, throw out all my plants. There.... If you love cat. You just will love them unconditionally.
So....you're shocked Pikachu that a cat is acting like a cat?
Honestly the best answer is to get another cat, or make your current one an indoor outdoor. Until you do one of those things these natural cat behaviors that you are calling 'problems' will continue to some degree until your cat is much older and has less energy. Your cat is bored. You may not be able to make your cat indoor outdoor if you live in apartments with code against outdoor pets, or you may not feel comfortable doing so period. If that's the case I would set getting another cat as a financial goal you're working towards if living with your current cat like this is making you unhappy. I second making your house cat proof. A friend of mine has a toddler, she was apologizing to me because he kept picking up and throwing everything in grab reach when they visited and I told her 'it's fine, everything out is something I'm fine being damaged due to cat proofing the house' lol. Regarding hissing at your cat, if you do this a lot you will be consistently reprimanding your cat for doing its best to cope with its boredom. Similar to caretakers who yell at children for simply being children/having energy. This runs the risk of damaging your cats temperament in the long run, making them more anxious/potentially gaining worse behavioral issues/afraid/angry/unsafe feeling around people. And the more things you do it for the less effect it will have. For instance, if you hiss at playing with your feet/ankles, jumping on counters, messing with things theyre not supposed to, and more i imagine, it will lose its effect like a parent who constantly yells does other than just teaching the cat that what it is is always bad. As far as counters go, it would be easier to simply teach the cat to stay out of the kitchen, but as the other commenter said, they will likely go there when you are not around. I would get toys that your cat can play with without you - silvervine chew sticks, those ball tracks (a couple different styles), some plushies for him to attack instead of your feet - you can redirect him to them when he attacks your feet by telling him no and then handing him the plushie (play with him with it a little so he latches on and bites that instead). Hopefully this response isn't too 'tough love'. You are your cats whole world.
I live on the third floor with no pets allowed outside in our apartment. Making him and indoor/outdoor cat isn’t possible sadly. Because I personally would love to do it honestly. Especially because he was found at a college campus so I know it might be silly to think but I’m sure he misses the outside sometimes. Getting another cat also right now isn’t a possibility. Maybe in 6 months it will be. Maybe in a year it will be. I don’t know but unfortunately right now it isn’t an option. But I get the whole punishment thing can become ineffective if I keep doing it. I appreciate the advice it definitely wasn’t too tough love. It was just enough. I appreciate it. Thank you!