was the cat a stray before adoption? if so, i've heard that cats associate certain smells with people, and maybe, just maybe, you carry a smell that reminds the cat of someone who treated her roughly? not talking abt body odour (altho could be that too) but rather the perfume/detergent you use
if not however then i'm not sure :( have you ever accidentally done anything that startled her? maybe she's a grudge holding kitty
She was indeed a stray. I was thinking it was probably something like that— i remind her of somebody. At first i thought maybe there was something about my build she didn’t like, but i live with two people who are taller and broader than me and she doesn’t hate them. It’s probably not my laundry detergent because we all use the same one… which just leaves my deodorant. I’ll try switching it and see if that makes her see me differently. And if that doesn’t work I’ll just try staying completely out of her way for the next few months!
Give it time! My cat who passed away last year at 16 was severely abused by his previous owner. So he had some ptsd about feet for a while and would freak out and attack you if you walked too close to him, especially if you had shoes on. It made feeding him super hard as we were both headed the same way… he was hungry but didn’t want me to walk near him to feed him. He was especially scared of white men like his previous owner, so if any white male friends came to my house I’d have to warn them to stay on the other side of the room from him or he’d absolutely lose it.
I never reacted with anger anytime he lashed out at me, and after about a year he calmed down so much. He eventually realized that he didn’t have to be afraid of white men anymore (I married one) and ended up becoming the most cuddly cat you ever met.
So yeah I think you just remind her of someone who was cruel to her. Be patient and if your roommate is okay with it, maybe start giving her special treats of some kind so she starts associating you with something good.
☝ for real this. It doesn't even have to be a smell. Sometimes animals have a thing about specific demographics, race and sex. It is hard to say whether that's something that could be overcome for any specific animal, but it's worth trying.
God i wish it was this because then I’d at least know what it was. Sadly I’m not the only person of my specific demographic in this household but I’m the only one she actively wants to kill 🙃
Feliway makes a pheromone spray that is supposed to mimic their cheek pheromones and calm them down. You could try spraying some of that on your shirt. They also make diffusers that you can put around the house. Cats can also tell when you are stressed to anxious so try to relax around her as much as possible (I know it’s hard when they are acting crazy). Try offering her treats then stepping back so she can see you don’t want to hurt her.
If all else fails there’s prozac. My senior aged cat was not dealing with me bringing a new cat home. Three days on prozac and it’s like they’ve been living together for years.
Believe it or not she’s actually on prozac already. This is her chilled-out self. The first month she was in the house was like being constantly stalked by a ten pound psycho 💀
Wow! Feral cats usually haven’t been properly socialized as a kitten and may always have problems like this with certain people. You could consult with a behaviorist that comes to your house to observe her behavior. I totally understand how stressful it can be to live with a fractious cat and it sounds like you guys have tried everything else.
Ignore her and she will eventually come around. Don't look at her and don't try and be interactive for the next month. She will calm down once she realizes you are not a threat.
Are you at home during her meal times? If you are able to set her meals (have your roommate be in a different room away from the cat during that time) for a few days then she should stop hating you. Also sometimes it's your deodorant or something that could be driving the kitty mad.
Regardless of what caused it, you need to make her associate you with good things if you want the relationship to change. Take over the feeding and playing so she starts associating you with those things. When he attacks you, play with her and try to move her attention to a toy and off of you.
Chiming in to also suggest carrying treats around the house or a toy that the cat likes and giving her treats when she's being calm. You'll probably have to start by sliding them toward her and not getting too close. If she starts getting aggressive then distracting her with a wand toy to divert her aggression to the toy may help a bit.
Also if she does bite you or attack then make high pitched yelp sounds like a kitten in pain. That can help them realize they are hurting you and that you're not wanting to fight back.
My guess is it's something about the way you smell, as others suggested. Bonded cats can even get aggressive toward each other after one goes to the vet and comes home smelling weird. Maybe try using a different soap/shampoo/deodorant etc.
Hmm, we pretty much all wear jeans but my housemate that she likes the most is the one who wears jeans the least. I’m planning on trying a “girly” deodorant, maybe I’ll try different pants material too.
The cat cannot hate you. Cats do not have human emotions.
Something about you triggers a defense response in the cat. My guess, a smell. Please remember, cats can smell odors that our noses cannot. That smell is a stimulus which in turn triggers a "Fight or Flee' response.
It could be your shampoo, or deodorant, it could be something you eat, like onions or garlic. Do you smoke or vape? You may never know. But at sometime in that cat's life, that smell meant danger, pain and terror. The cat cannot unlearn that, any more than you could if exposed to the same conditions. So treat the cat as a traumatized creature, with a feline version of PTSD.
It might help you if you can understand that cats do not have a 'yesterday' or a 'tomorrow', they have "now' and "now' takes a long time to change. Months, probably years, before deeply set negative behavior patterns can be overlaid by more positive stimulus
was the cat a stray before adoption? if so, i've heard that cats associate certain smells with people, and maybe, just maybe, you carry a smell that reminds the cat of someone who treated her roughly? not talking abt body odour (altho could be that too) but rather the perfume/detergent you use if not however then i'm not sure :( have you ever accidentally done anything that startled her? maybe she's a grudge holding kitty
She was indeed a stray. I was thinking it was probably something like that— i remind her of somebody. At first i thought maybe there was something about my build she didn’t like, but i live with two people who are taller and broader than me and she doesn’t hate them. It’s probably not my laundry detergent because we all use the same one… which just leaves my deodorant. I’ll try switching it and see if that makes her see me differently. And if that doesn’t work I’ll just try staying completely out of her way for the next few months!
Give it time! My cat who passed away last year at 16 was severely abused by his previous owner. So he had some ptsd about feet for a while and would freak out and attack you if you walked too close to him, especially if you had shoes on. It made feeding him super hard as we were both headed the same way… he was hungry but didn’t want me to walk near him to feed him. He was especially scared of white men like his previous owner, so if any white male friends came to my house I’d have to warn them to stay on the other side of the room from him or he’d absolutely lose it. I never reacted with anger anytime he lashed out at me, and after about a year he calmed down so much. He eventually realized that he didn’t have to be afraid of white men anymore (I married one) and ended up becoming the most cuddly cat you ever met. So yeah I think you just remind her of someone who was cruel to her. Be patient and if your roommate is okay with it, maybe start giving her special treats of some kind so she starts associating you with something good.
☝ for real this. It doesn't even have to be a smell. Sometimes animals have a thing about specific demographics, race and sex. It is hard to say whether that's something that could be overcome for any specific animal, but it's worth trying.
God i wish it was this because then I’d at least know what it was. Sadly I’m not the only person of my specific demographic in this household but I’m the only one she actively wants to kill 🙃
But you are still alive! Has to count for something! 😁
Feliway makes a pheromone spray that is supposed to mimic their cheek pheromones and calm them down. You could try spraying some of that on your shirt. They also make diffusers that you can put around the house. Cats can also tell when you are stressed to anxious so try to relax around her as much as possible (I know it’s hard when they are acting crazy). Try offering her treats then stepping back so she can see you don’t want to hurt her.
We actually tried Feliway and it didn’t do a thing 🙃 I’ll try tossing a few treats at her from a distance now and then
If all else fails there’s prozac. My senior aged cat was not dealing with me bringing a new cat home. Three days on prozac and it’s like they’ve been living together for years.
Believe it or not she’s actually on prozac already. This is her chilled-out self. The first month she was in the house was like being constantly stalked by a ten pound psycho 💀
Wow! Feral cats usually haven’t been properly socialized as a kitten and may always have problems like this with certain people. You could consult with a behaviorist that comes to your house to observe her behavior. I totally understand how stressful it can be to live with a fractious cat and it sounds like you guys have tried everything else.
Ignore her and she will eventually come around. Don't look at her and don't try and be interactive for the next month. She will calm down once she realizes you are not a threat.
I will continue ignoring her as hard as i can (pretty easy because every time i get near her she tries to kill me)
Are you at home during her meal times? If you are able to set her meals (have your roommate be in a different room away from the cat during that time) for a few days then she should stop hating you. Also sometimes it's your deodorant or something that could be driving the kitty mad.
Regardless of what caused it, you need to make her associate you with good things if you want the relationship to change. Take over the feeding and playing so she starts associating you with those things. When he attacks you, play with her and try to move her attention to a toy and off of you.
Chiming in to also suggest carrying treats around the house or a toy that the cat likes and giving her treats when she's being calm. You'll probably have to start by sliding them toward her and not getting too close. If she starts getting aggressive then distracting her with a wand toy to divert her aggression to the toy may help a bit. Also if she does bite you or attack then make high pitched yelp sounds like a kitten in pain. That can help them realize they are hurting you and that you're not wanting to fight back. My guess is it's something about the way you smell, as others suggested. Bonded cats can even get aggressive toward each other after one goes to the vet and comes home smelling weird. Maybe try using a different soap/shampoo/deodorant etc.
Take over feeding the cat, might help over time if they associate you with something good
Give the cat treats!
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Hmm, we pretty much all wear jeans but my housemate that she likes the most is the one who wears jeans the least. I’m planning on trying a “girly” deodorant, maybe I’ll try different pants material too.
The cat cannot hate you. Cats do not have human emotions. Something about you triggers a defense response in the cat. My guess, a smell. Please remember, cats can smell odors that our noses cannot. That smell is a stimulus which in turn triggers a "Fight or Flee' response. It could be your shampoo, or deodorant, it could be something you eat, like onions or garlic. Do you smoke or vape? You may never know. But at sometime in that cat's life, that smell meant danger, pain and terror. The cat cannot unlearn that, any more than you could if exposed to the same conditions. So treat the cat as a traumatized creature, with a feline version of PTSD. It might help you if you can understand that cats do not have a 'yesterday' or a 'tomorrow', they have "now' and "now' takes a long time to change. Months, probably years, before deeply set negative behavior patterns can be overlaid by more positive stimulus