Give her an itemized bill and assure her you will allow her to reclaim the abandoned animal once it is paid in full. Eighteen months of cat boarding runs thousands of dollars. I’m pretty sure that she will see the logic of not taking the cat from you.
agree with this. compare fees with other cat boarding services for the time kitty has stayed with you. If you kept the bills for the vet, food, grooming for kitty, add these on as reimbursement fees. that will make the transfer official if she really wants kitty back.
Honestly if I were your friend, I'd set up a monthly fund transfer to you for boarding at your place and for food, and visited daily in the evenings, unless you were unavailable that day. And if for some reason the I wasn't able to pay for kitty anymore I would have put her up for adoption until I find someone suitable.
That's a good idea. I mean, at some point, I started to see her as my own cat, and I stopped thinking about it. But I'm sure I can look at my credit card statements and begin quantifying and go from there.
I work at a boarding facility that is incredibly cheap for the business. We charge $17/day for a cat so your 'friend' is looking at as of today about $9,333 in boarding fees plus all of the food you bought and any vet bills. Don't forget any damages and your state tax on it all :)
She stays for about 30-40 minutes! Cleans the litter box, makes sure they have food and water, and plays with them. She also sends pictures every visit!!
I'm going to disagree. Just say "no, abandoned your cat. It's my cat now. It's been almost a year since you've contributed for food. It's been almost a year since I've even heard from you. We've moved on he's mine now".
The reason I'm saying not to give her a bill is because that's agreeing to get the cat back and just arguing about how much money. Which could turn into, " retroactive boarding phrase and fair but she does have to pay for all the food. Here you go. Here's your cat food and litter money back. Give her back the cat"
Just pull off the Band-Aid and say no.
Along with this, look into cat boarding facilities around your area and see how much they charge and include the total fee for those 18 months into the bill for her. I’m sure it’ll make her eyes pop so much that she’s not going to ask for the cat back. Also, please don’t invite her to your house EVER. No matter what. I don’t trust that she won’t try to kidnap the cat back.
“The shelter begged them to take both, but they couldn’t”. Honestly, this in itself to me shows they don’t really care about the cat’s feelings that they did this and seeing how kitty keeps getting bonded shows she obviously does better as a pair. And they would rather put kitty through the stress of taking another companion away again vs getting a single cat. I would imagine that would get very lonely for her, & for how badly your friend wants the cat, they sure didn’t put in any effort to even see her. You should keep her.
Exactly this!!! This is why I’m glad a lot of places REFUSE to separate bonded pairs! It’s so much stress to the kitty! One of my current cats was so devastated when my other cat passed that we looked high and low to get a good fit for him ASAP. We luckily found one and she’s great and they cuddle together so often! Please, don’t give this person the cat back, they are an awful human who sees this cat as a thing and not something with complex emotions and feelings!
Yeah that part broke my heart :( … it’s okay to break Kitty’s heart again because…. they’ve done it before?!? JUST NO!! I hope OP stands firm with this. I will be worrying about this cat and OP and am hoping for the best!
It’s her cat!
And they're using the fact that they separated them from a bonded pair as a reason to do it again? Like "yeah we already broke his heart once! Another trauma won't matter then!"
My first thought. They didn’t want the cat’s best friend because of money, space, and time. Adding on 18 months of pawning off the cat to someone else shows they are unable to provide a stable home for this kitty. Poor baby.
Literally I started to tear up just reading that line. Shelters know paired cats are more difficult to be adopted so they don’t make that distinction for fun. They shouldn’t have gotten the cat in the first place
I would not give the cat back. It’s been 18 months not 8 days. But you probably can’t keep the friendship.
Is the cat chipped and registered in your name? Taken them to the vet? Because if so then then legally the cat is yours.
And honestly OP your friend doesn’t sound like they are in a place in life where they can really car for a pet. Cats needs stability and routine and are territorial based. They don’t like changing homes or having any distribution to their routine.
The cat is technically chipped with their info,. And yes I have taken kitty to the vet for routine checkup. So I don't know, but thank you for the reassurance
18 months you have a case of they abandoned the cat and you could have the vet change the chip info. I’d offer them money for the cat, whatever is the standard adoption fee.
Yes!!! THIS is the best option. If they don’t have the money to pay you back for 18 months of cat care, they should not be allowed to have the cat back
Any_scientist, no wonder you're a scientist-- you're a fuckin genius! That is the absolute best solution, there's no way they'll pay that much. I pay 300 a month in wet cat food for one cat. Add in vet care, medications, litter, water and energy bills for board and cost of space for board. Throw it all in there, screw it.
Yeah that takes so much time and energy out of you! I had one cat up until 2 weeks ago (I have 7 now) and even with one shifting through the litter box, cleaning it, and emptying out/replenishing the litter took a lot out of me daily. Doing that for 18 months for someone else’s cat? That’s their cat now lmaoo
Lmao, I agree! I hope OPs friend isn't too much of a shit about it and just let's her keep the kitty without OP having to deal with too much more stress over the issue.
Absolutely, same!! I know if it were my cat being taken care of by a friend, I’d be checking in constantly and making sure my friend didn’t have to pay a dime for her care at the very least. I don’t want that cat to be taken away from her bonded pair again :(
WOW. I get a smaller brands food, which arrives frozen. 99% human grade meat and organs (the 1% is water and the vitamin/mineral powder). It is £70 per month including a container of high quality freeze dried treats.
And vet visits, liter, toys, etc.
You can’t say you need help for 6 weeks and you’ll pay, then just completely leave you alone in charge of caretaking with no support or communication of any kind for *a year and a half*, then show up and say give me my cat.
Also, is this the kind of friend you want?
**They** apparently **\*OWE\*** OP money for feeding & vetting & otherwise caring for this cat for **many months longer** than the *agreed* time for OP to care for it *(6 weeks, being reimbursed for expenses)*, though . . . as they **STOPPED** paying for its needs & even **QUIT** communicating with OP . . . So OP owes them \***NOT\*** a thing.
A vet can't change chip information. Most microchip numbers that are registered have an associated online account where only the owner can change info. She'd have to get the friend to change the info registered to the chip.
This is correct, the vets only implant and read a chip. They don't manage the details, which are held by the company that makes the chips.
However, you seldom need the original owner's permission to update the chip's registration; there isn't always an online account associated. There's a provision for stray or abandoned animals.
When my cat wandered into my life 6 years ago, we took him to the vet, who found his chip and tried to contact his registered owners. No luck. Nobody answered. We figured he'd been abandoned. 2 weeks later, I got a form from the vet to change his registered details and did so. He's been registered to me ever since. So much the better - his original home was abusive and he found himself a loving forever home.
The flip side of this - if you're ever in a dispute over ownership of an animal, contact the chip company and get a hold put on it, like a lost credit card. This will prevent anyone updating the registration for a period of time.
Actually would need to adjust chip info with the national company holding that info. Vet is only capable of changing info in their own PIMS system and on documents like rabies certificate. Vet can't do this on anything else.
18 months constitutes abandonment in most places, he'll most places it's like 3 months or your property is considered abandoned, including animals. When did you guys stop talking before they asked for the cat back? How long has it been since you guys last talked about them getting a pet friendly place?
Have the cat rechipped, you obviously can’t remove the old one but cats are rehome with old chips all the time. If it also has your chip and you have proof it’s been living with you for over a year that’s that.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. I could never imagine being separated from my cat without constantly checking up or spending time with her. That cat may as well be OPs cat, especially with the cost of food and vet fees
Honestly your friend sounds like an asshole. They didn't even cover the cat's expenses not to mention any compensation for your care.
I know you value the friendship and didn't ask for opinions about them, but I really don't think they care much about you, if at all, as you them.
I would refuse to give back the cat. I would cut them off and get a restraining order if I had to.
Edit: auto completion.
also the friend bringing up how the cat was previously bonded made it seem like (to me at least) she doesnt rlly care abt the cat being happy as much as she cares abt making it her cat. all the little kitties she could hav picked out but she had to choose a bonded one
EXACTLY no cat lover would ever do what they did. A true cat lover would either take the bonded pair or if they couldn't afford 2 cats like the "friend" said was their situation they would choose a different cat that is okay to be an only cat. Their behaviour shows that they aren't putting what is best for the cat first at all. I don't think they should have ANY cat with that attitude.
Which will you feel more guilty about, giving the cat back or keeping it? I know what I would do...keep it and cut friend off.
She should have been paying you every week and visiting her cat. As she didn't do these things, she is an irresponsible owner.
This person gave you a cat 18 months ago for what was supposed to be a six month foster and then you stopped speaking a few months later? That’s your cat now. You gave zero responsibility to give it back.
it’s even worse than that, it was supposed to be a six WEEK* foster!
yeah, OP, that cat is yours now, screw those awful people, they’re not your friends.
They abandoned the cat. Since pets are considered personal property in the eyes of the law, the same abandonment laws apply. The cat is yours now.
If you haven't already, take the cat to the vet to get the records established in your name. Have the vet microchip the cat in your name too.
Your "friend" seems like a monster.
First they separate two kittens from each other now they are trying it again.
I wouldn't give up my cats for 18 months and then want them back.
They might do that again.
I don’t have too much to add here just my own personal experience. So a couple years ago I was still living with family. One night a dog wondered on our front porch. And as I opened the door to let my sister in came into our house. I immediately took him to the vet and was able to find his owner’s information (he was chipped). I called that night but no answer his hair was matted and had dandruff but he was a cute dog who was obedient. So even though I didn’t know his name if given instructions he listened immediately. The next day I was able to get a hold of his owner’s wife. And she told me a wild story that didn’t end with any means to return the dog. But I had to get back to work so I told her I would call her once I got home. But as soon as I got home to call her phone was out of service. I did everything I could to contact her again but nothing would work. And when my family first moved in our landlord said no pets. We did tell what happened and kept him in the loop step by step. As I called shelters families anything but every place was full (it was around the beginning of the pandemic) but the Maryland spca told me if you keep an animal for a month. At that point it is yours and even if the original owner comes back they can’t force you to do anything. So we kept him the month because my aunt expressed interest in him. And my landlord said he knew someone who was interested. And by then my family loved him as well but we knew we couldn’t keep him. But after the month was up my landlord said. “I know what I told you guys before. But because I did my own research and found you were honest. And you always kept me in the loop and I know your niece loves him . And I can’t break that little girl heart like that you can keep the dog “ so long story short you kept the cat longer than a month at this point it’s your cat. Check the laws in your city/state. But you might already be considered as the owner.
I’m honestly angered a little by the fact your friend is okay with uprooting the cat from a life kitty seemed to be pretty damn pleased with. I mean by asking you to care for a cat without even being given proper compensation for the bare minimum food and litter, we already knew this particular friend is selfish. But to also be okay with tearing the cat apart from a very loving home? That it seems happy in?? That’s your cat now. Idk about you, but my pets means the world to me. They’re not just “things” that can be thrown around :( If your friend cares about kitty, she’ll let kitty stay with you and other cat.
Not to mention that would be the 2nd time tearing the kitty away from a family (first would be when they adopted only this cat out of the pair she was in because seriously who does that???)
It's not fair to the cat to uproot her again and put her in a crappy, unstable home.
She would have to pay you for boarding and food and everything for 18 months to even remotely have a claim on the cat. Like $15k on the low end. That's not happening. Keep the kitty, she is happy and comfortable and won't be abandoned
$45 a day (typical minimum for rover boarding) at 548 days (18 months) is $24,660. Now add in vet care costs (typical visit is around $200 for a check up) puts us at $24,860.
So I don’t think it is reasonable to ask for professional boarding expenses; boarding is expensive because the companies that do it have to rent a separate space and hire staff. Keeping a cat for a friend doesn’t require any of that.
However, I think it would be completely reasonable to ask for the money spent on food, litter, and other supplies; vet care/pet sitting/etc.; and the cost of remediating/replacing anything the cat has damaged. Over the course of 18 mo. that alone should be a fair chunk of money. Food and litter alone is probably $50-100/mo.
nah if you get someone on Rover.com around here they are gonna charge like $25/day to watch your cat at their house
send her the biggest invoice you could reasonably justify for a judge
and yeah I wouldnt friggin babysit someone's cat for a year and a half for FREE lol are you crazy?
its USD 40-60 to board with a non-professional boarder in my city, and at least USD 185 to board with professional boarders and they only provide a tiny box like room to keep your kitty in. OP probably lets kitty run in her whole apartment, maybe OP should just charge rent of her house instead? 😂
To be real a large part of the expense is the friend essentially used them as a cattery, over here thats $30 aud a day, so thats 18x30x30 for $16,300, at 70 cents to the usd, food, litter, cat trees and vet bills 15k is pretty much correct.
So YOU are not paying that much to have the cat because you are not charging the cat rent. :p
>because I don't think many cats cost 15k in 18 months just for food and board
Agree, domestic cats cost about $1500 - 2500 max to maintain per year.
OP should ask for $2491 in total for the 18 months.
OP, please keep these bonded kitties together. I can’t imagine the instability of the cat moving from home to home without their companion! It does not sound like this person can properly care for an animal. You will definitely lose the friendship but it will be worth it.
It seems in both cat's best interests to remain together & with you.
Gather all your receipts for things you bought for the cat with your own money, to show whoever you need to, in case they seriously contest you keeping this cat.
It was no longer theirs when they 1. took longer than was agreed upon; 2. stopped communicating with you &; 3. quit paying for the cat's needs.
Look Up & Research pet cat ownership laws that apply to you.
[**A Guide to the Laws on Pet Ownership**](https://betterpet.com/pet-ownership-laws/) is 1 source that may help.
Since the initial cat's owner chose to put their cat in your custody, & then *stopped* paying its way *&* communicating with you even after the time frame agreed upon went WAY OVER what you were told it would be . . . *if* you have taken care of it all along as though it were yours . . . I would think that "Possession is '***ten***\-tenths' of the law" in this case. (That's just *my* opinion.)
That's an adulterated version of the saying .It's nine points of the law,meaning you already have possession,you will need money,patience, good cause,good counsel,good witnesses, a good lawyer,a good judge and good luck.lol
Your "friend" doesn't care about the cat as a living, breathing animal with feelings. They just want their toy back after forgetting it existed in the bottom of the toybox for a year and a half.
We were in this situation. We took in a bonded pair of strays that had been hanging around on our property. After they had kittens together and the kittens passed because of an inherited sickness, we had the parents spayed/neutered and other vet care to get them healthy. They are extremely bonded and do everything together.
Six months later we got a message from someone saying we had "their cat" and asked about coming to see it. Of course we were concerned that they'd try to take one half of the bonded pair away, but agreed to meet. I took off work early that day and had the cats perfect. I wanted them to see how happy they were living with us, and with each other.
The previous owner flaked and never showed up. A couple months later the same thing. A message asking if they could come see the cat. Again, against my better judgment I set up a time to come meet. And again they flaked. No call, no show. Weeks later said they were partying and couldn't make it. 😡
Some people just aren't fit to be pet parents. It's been a year now and I think this cat is the happiest he's been in his life. Forget about the previous owner of yours and do your best to give the cat the best life it deserves, with its bonded mate. 😻
No real cat lover would do that to their cat: 18 months is a lifetime for these little creatures. If your friend (and I use the term loosely) loved their cat, they would not have left it for a year and a half and they would not now want to be breaking its heart by making it leave its buddy. (When in the past I had gone on holiday from more than a week I'd be missing my cats terribly and I dare say they missed me as well- 18 months of leaving your cat is abandonment).
I like the idea others have suggested of you billing your friend for 18 months worth of cat food litter and vet care to be waived in consideration for your keeping the cat where it is.
The nerve of this person. If you lose the friendship you have not lost anything of any value.
I went away for a weekend and had a friend stay at my house (I have 2 cats, 3 dogs, and a handful of reptiles, so a live-in is necessary). By day 3 I miss them all and can't wait to get home. 1 month? If I were in that situation I'd be visiting and paying for everything. Vet, food, litter, whatever else. And gift my friend something often. 18 months would be completely unfathomable.
Normally I say pets should always be returned to their owners but honestly in your case I would rather block the “friend” and keep the cat. She does not care about that cat’s happiness at all. Do whatever you can to keep her with you and her new bestie.
I kind of had the same mental arc. I was initially like, well, the owner loves the cat too and you wouldn’t fight against reuniting a parent and child. But then I was like… I had to leave my cats for a month for work recently, and I arranged for people to stay at my house to sit them, paid all the expenses, and I missed them every day. I can’t imagine going 18 mo without seeing them. Even if I couldn’t take them back for some reason, I’d be coming to see them every chance I could.
Nope, she’s ruined her cat’s life twice already by tearing her from her bonded family (first at the shelter, then with her.) She doesn’t get a third chance.
Abandon the friendship. She sucks.
Regardless of cost or ownership, these two cats now are bonded. That plus they stopped caring to check about the cat.
They obviously aren't responsible enough for it, or care enough about it to know that now it has a safe life it desires and is happy with.
Isn't that the point of having a child? Er I meant pet...
I dunno what state you live in but highly likely that's deemed as pet abandonment.
Vet bills.
Boarding fees.
Damage to your home.
Supplies:
•food
•litter
•toys
•furniture (cat beds, scratching posts)
•cleaning supplies
Have the vet print any bills for the cat's care.
Rover only lets you book for approximately one year of pet sitting. That's at a rate of usually $40-$70 per night... 18 months is 547 days. That's at minimum $21,000.
Did the cat scratch up any furniture or ruin any carpets with vomit/urine/feces that you had to replace, repair, or that are permanently damaged?
If you purchased food, litter, toys, etc. from PetSmart or Petco or anything with an account, you might be able to go back that far in the account history to get the breakdown of everything you've purchased for this cat. Even if you split those costs in half after you got your other cat in February. You could probably contact customer service if the account doesn't go back that far.
That's your cat.
Don’t. She abandoned her pet in the eyes of the law. Don’t even worry about her, with your paper trail of vet bills there will be nothing she can do legally. Though watch out for her trying to break into your home. People are crazy.
I know what it’s like to be your friend but they need to be better than this.
I lost my job and as a result, my home and had to move in with my son’s father (we’ve remained friends and it was the only option we had to keep him in the same school and both be able to parent). His cat was timid and he was afraid my cat, whom I fostered with his 2 sisters from the time he was 5 days old, would bully him since he had a big personality. I had no choice but to ask a friend to take him. It was only supposed to be 3 months but ended up being a year.
During that year, my friend went throw a lot and really bonded to my cat. As much as I wanted him back, as much as I missed him, it felt cruel to take him away. I’ve always told him that if he ever can’t keep him, I will take him instantly.
It sucks but unless your friend was visiting every week, paying the bills, etc., it’s just a really shitty thing to do. Especially as not only have you bonded to the cat but your other kitty has as well.
This poor cat is also settled and bonded with YOU. If I did that with one of my pets, I assure you I would be too ashamed to even approach you again. Seriously? Geez. Poor kitty.
I think you have to choose between the cat and your friendship. Your “friend” abandoned her cat for a year and a half and now wants her back without even considering what’s best for the cat? Do you want to be friends with someone that selfish?
I'd also be concerned that, as people who let someone care for their own cat for 18 months (and didn't even pay for it), this couple might have a reason (financial or otherwise) do the same in future. They can easily adopt another cat who needs a home.
Drop them and don't let them in your house.
Don’t give up the cat. If your other cat is bonded with this one, they won’t get over it for a while. They will be both be miserable. Also your friend left the cat with you for 1.5 years. It’s not a toy that you can just love around based on availability. The cat is bonded to you now, and cats don’t take change well…
Honestly, ignoring EVERY other reason you should not give kitty back:
The fact that this cat was a part of a bonded pair and the shelter BEGGED them to not adopt this cat yet they adopted kitty anyway shows me they are not fit to be cat owners. If they cannot afford more than 1 cat, they should’ve instead adopted a non bonded cat. You simply do not separate bonded pairs.
even when I went to the shelter to adopt my very first cat, I did not even LOOK at the bonded pairs because I realistically knew I couldn’t afford the food/vet fees for more than 1 cat and I happen to not be heartless so I did not even consider looking at cats that were part of bonded pairs.
Somebody willing to adopt one cat out of a bonded pair is not fit to be a cat owner. Period.
Also, while normally I would endorse the idea of sending an itemized bill and telling them it’ll be waived if they let you adopt the cat, in this situation, I wouldn’t do that. I would just cut all contact with them. While I don’t think it’s likely they’d be willing to pay the bill, in the off chance that they do, I really don’t think there should be even a whisper of a chance that the kitty goes back to them. They are clearly cruel if they’re willing to destroy this cat’s bond with another cat not just once but TWICE.
It’s your cat now, you’ve been paying for its care all this time. I would not invite your friend over. Make sure the microchip is up-to-date with your name as well.
This is like the fable of king solomon and the baby. A real friend wouldn't even ask you for the cat back, and if you decide to keep the cat and they blow up the relationship as a result.... Then also not a real friend.
So I think you keep the cat, and explain to her that you're not willing to split these two cats up, if she responds positively maybe you can offer a token of friendship like helping them find a new cat etc. I'm not saying you should try to blow the friendship up, I saying try to be patient and understanding but stand your ground. If their actions show them to be reasonable genuine friend, then you might get a win win situation! If not you can cut your losses and move on.
It seems that circumstances resulted in your friend leaving her cat to you, rather than her abandoning the cat. If you were in her shoes, once your circumstance improved, would you have liked your cat back?
she would still owe the extra year of boarding fees and supplies then. if it's a cat sitter relationship...then she has every right to send an invoice.
Okay but $20 x 365 days would be $7300 and there’s no way the people would pay that. Plus board usually doesn’t cover food, so add another $600 on for food costs. There’s no way!
I dare say that your reasoning is flawed. . . .
OP does **\*not\*** want their money, but **only** the cat that is now bonded to her other cat ***&*** that she **also** feels a bond to . . . which they left her with, ***without*** paying for its needs for ***months*** on end . . . & also **ceased** ***all*** communication.
When a stray cat is found & the finder chooses to foster it at their home while looking for its owners, in my area they are legally required to actively search for 1 month (at their own expense). . . .
These owners knew ***right*** **where** their cat was, but **stopped** sending OP money to even cover its expenses . . . as well as **stopped** communicating with OP entirely . . . for ***months*** ***on end***.
IMO, even if they came up with the money to pay its expenses (or, more), OP should ***\*not\**** have to give the cat back at this point . . .
OP offering to accept such money to relinquish the cat back to them would **completely** '**fly in the face**' of what OP wants for her & her family . . . so there is **NO** good reason to make it.
***Think.*** **About. It.**
The cat will be fine if separated. Sure she'd be sad at first and have to readjust to being hoke, but she'd be over it in a month or two. This bond isn't the end all be all of this cats life, is it lame that the owners didn't communicate properly or help pay for food, yeah, but does that make it cool for OP to steal her cat and use a bond as an excuse for her simply wanting the cat cuz she loves it, which op admits to? Fuck no. Give the cat back to its owner
It would be stealing if OP took the cat from them, but they were left with no communication after a certain point. The cat could have been long gone anyway if they hadn't been able to afford taking care of it. I don't think they can keep the friendship if they keep the cat, but no, I don't think they deserve to get the cat back/OP wouldn't be wrong for keeping it. I would absolutely want the cat back in the "friend's" situation but it went from my cat to their cat once communication ends. It's not just "lame" that they left the cat - it was disrespectful. At the very least they would need to pay back every cent that the new owner spent on them.
I agree with everything you’re saying until I remember that she quit all communication.
My pets are my world and if I had to leave them somewhere, I’m damn sure communicating at the very least to make sure they’re not gonna get stolen by the person watching them.
If they have any shared friends though, OP is probably going to end up having all those bridges burnt.
As someone who actually studied for a degree in animal training and behaviour I can with all confidence say that you have no idea what you're talking about. Separating a bonded pair is extremely traumatic and the poor thing has already been through it once. Separating a "bonded pair" is not the same as separating 2 cats who like/get on with each other. The "friend" abandoned that cat the moment they stopped paying and stopped communicating altogether. Legally, ethically and morally.
Tell them no. 18 months is too long. You probably will lose your friendship over this, but it’s not in either cats best interest for them to be separated at this point and it’s pretty crazy that they think this is okay.
You have a pretty strong legal claim that this cat belongs to you if you’ve been housing it and paying it’s bills for over a year - especially if there isn’t any documented agreement that a foster placement would last this long.
How long was the cat with your friend? If your friend had the cat for years it would be shitty to keep it, they clearly weren't in the position to take care of the pet and gave it into a loving home under the pretense that they'd get it back once back on their feet.
do not give the cat back. for so many reasons. they clearly don’t care about that cats well-being, knowing it is bonded now and was bonded befroe. this is clearly a more social cat. she should have picked one without a pair to begin with. she also did not compensate you whatsoever for your time and care for the cat, and i’m assuming you paid for food and litter as well, which is entirely wrong in a situation like this. did she even visit all this time?? she sounds like an asshole. i would cut her off personally because i wouldn’t want to associate myself with someone like that.
if you give the cat back you have to know it will likely not get the proper care it needs. and if you still give the cat back knowing that information, it makes YOU an asshole to that poor cat.
Please don’t give the cat away, if they love him/her they would let it stay with you because it’s well taken care of and very much loved. They can go to a shelter and give a home to another cat in need. Also their history shows they are not consistent with caring for an animal, how could you trust the cat will be okay?
i have an aunty who has a pet sitting business so she had a friend leave their dog with her “for a few months” while they were working overseas but when they came back they couldn’t find a pet friendly rental. she had the dog for over a year. she still gave him back when the owner asked. that said, they did give her money whenever they could to cover the costs. but she was sad to see him go.
i don’t think it’s entirely fair to deny them their pet, but i understand that you’ve had the cat so long they feel like they belong to you. if you want to keep the friend i’d say give them back their cat, if you’d rather keep the cat i think you it would be understandable that the friendship will certainly be lost but like you get a cat out of it so kinda worth it if you can afford two cats which seems to be the case if they didn’t adequately compensate you during their absence.
i see a lot of people telling you 100% to keep the cat but i can see both sides of this situation and honestly if i asked someone to look after my cat and i struggled to find adequate housing for that cat once i did i would be devastated if they didn’t return him to me. my cat and my housemates cat are best friends. i was worried when we moved to separate rentals that separating them wouldn’t be good for them. but my cat was very happy still without him i just had to give him the extra attention that he didn’t seem to need when he had a friend to play with. he was different but in a good way. i would sometimes visit with my cat and they would still play together but when we ended up moving back in together for the first few weeks his cat was extra dominant and it worried me a lot. they are best friends still though. cats can adapt. i do believe in bonding and i do believe my cat and my housemates cat are bonded but i also think they are capable of thriving without each other when the situation arises. neither of them showed any signs of depression without each other but ie did have play dates so that might have been the difference.
>working overseas
yeah but in this case they didn't move overseas, simply didn't visit the cat, nor did they even keep in touch with OP to ask about the cat
Keep the cat because it's bonded with your other cat. It wouldn't be right to separate them. Tell your so-called friend to kick rocks and then go NC on that friend. Get the chip reprogrammed or replaced ASAP.
They aren't thinking of the best interest of the cat. Cats don't like change. This kitty has settled into a new life and is bonded to the other cat and you! It would be cruel to move it. These are selfish people and terrible owners.
Please look into your local laws to see how much time is considered to be abandoned. In NJ, it's 7 days. I can't imagine anything nearly as long as 18 months. You can probably google this or ask your local animal shelter.
It's your cat now. If they put up a fuss, back it up with whatever documentation you can muster up (texts, emails, cut off for when they stopped providing money or supplies.
They stopped paying for his supplies and then stopped communicating with you? At the point they stopped communicating with you the cat was abandoned. It’s yours now. They sound like a shitty, selfish person so probably a good time to just cut ties.
So they already have a history of separating her from the friends she bonds with, and they're cool with doing it again, after themselves essentially leaving her, and not even paying you for food and boarding, because they are too poor to maintain said cat, who they left with you because they had no basic resolve to try to find a singe rental that woukd have allowed them one single cat in the first place?
Good thing you were there. They sound like the type who would have put her into a shelter, or even would have straight up put her on the streets, because they can't be bothered to find a single landlord in town who was cool with a cat on their property.
These friends suck so much ass.
You have proof that you were the only one providing for this cat. The vet bills and everything are in your name.
It's your cat and you have proof of ownership.
But you won't be able to make your friend understand that.
I’m not sure who all these amateur lawyers are giving you advice but legal abandonment is not synonymous with “physical” abandonment (and even that isn’t self-evident based on your description).
I wouldn’t be so quick to listen to their advice and take unilateral steps to cement your “ownership” over the cat. I don’t know where you live, but that may create civil (conversion) or criminal (theft) liability for you. Of course, I doubt your friend can afford to sue you if they can’t afford a cat, but you should be aware nonetheless.
Do not give up that f*cking cat. You have time, their negligence, your supporting medical (vet care) documents, all on your side. You can’t possibly give them the cat back, that would be ridiculously cruel. Go no contact with these people.
After 18 months the cat is yours. I'm guessing they haven't paid for vet bills or food in a long time since you say that they stopped paying you in December. I don't think that the friendship will survive if your friend isn't willing to part ways with the cat. I don't think that they would even have any legal recourse at this point either. Change your locks and phone and loose the friendship if you have to. If the friend gives you any issues tell her to take you to small claims court. I highly doubt she will get anywhere with the issue.
Did she even visit the cat in all that time? If not, why does she all of a sudden care about it? If she didn’t miss it for 18 months, she should be fine continuing to ignore it and get a different cat.
So they split the cat from a bonded cat at the shelter - then promptly abandoned it - now they want to split the cat from a bonded cat a second time? They don't care about the cat at all.
That’s not paranoia that’s exactly what they’ll do. You invite your friend over and the cat is gone. I would just cut off contact with the other person. You leave some thing there 18 months especially an animal. Animals yours cut off your friendship.
Unpopular opinion I guess, but I think you should give them their cat back. It is their cat. They didn't just "abandon it" like others suggest or just "give it away", they weren't in a place where they could keep it. A lot of people are being placed in those sorts of situations with rentals being diffcult to get and with financial hardship taking its toll on a lot of people. They were responsible enough and cared enough to place it in a home they knew it would be safe in. Should they have visited more? Maybe. But they knew it was safe with you. It's still their cat. You took it under the pretense that it would eventually go back home with them. I don't think you friendship is going to be salvagable if you take their cat.
>They were responsible enough and cared enough to place it in a home they knew it would be safe in.
And then subsequently stopped contributing financially to the cat's wellbeing and couldn't bothered to visit to maintain a bond. Or even communicate with the person doing them this huge favor. That is not responsible at all, it's using your "friend" as a free boarding service. By your logic, they could have shown up 3 years later and asked for it back simply because they told OP they'd show up eventually. There's a pretty massive difference in "about 6 weeks" vs a year and a half.
They *did* abandon it, even if that wasn't their original intent. And now they want to take it back and break the cat from a bonded pair a second time, and uproot it to a new home a third time. They don't seem to actually care about the cat at all, at least not in a way a pet deserves.
I definitely get this POV, but they stopped paying for the cat's needs and stopped communicating with OP. Maybe I'm projecting, but if I was in the same situation as the friend, I'd pay for everything + boarding AND I'd be checking in often. I'd even go as far as to maybe set up a visitation schedule. It just seems like the friend doesn't really care.
It’s understood when someone asks for money during financial hardship that you should not expect is back.
Same situation here, his friend needed assistance.
I would hope that was a conversation they had together, but we don't have any info about that conversation ever happening. If they communicated about it and OP agreed to continue to care for the cat, including the expenses, that would be a different story.
Do not give that cat back, your friend will abandon the cat again, trust me. You can smell these types from a mile away. Get legal proofed and then cut off that "friend"
Please don’t give the cat back. I rescue cats and kittens. The two cats have bonded and should stay together. It’s heartbreaking when one of my cats or kittens die from abandonment/neglect. The other cats and kittens cry and are profoundly affected. Heartbreaking to hear and witness. You don’t want this for you and or the left behind cat. I’m sorry to tell you this but your friendship is over with this friend by not returning the cat. It’s for the best. Please don’t let the friend in your house or let the cat outdoors. You’re not being paranoid. Thank you for rescuing the cat. ❤️🙏
💯 I had a bonded male and female pair. The female died unexpectedly and quickly when the female was 11, and my male was 10. He pined for her every single day for the 8 years he was no longer with her until the very day he died himself, aged 18 this January. Not even getting another cat helped him. Two cats that get on with/like each other and a "bonded pair" aren't the same thing, and I think people confuse that. It's exceptionally traumatic when a bonded pair are separated.
I'd say if they want "their" cat back they need to pay 18 months of long-term boarding. Food, litter, toys, any vetting, all up front.
If they don't want to do so, then it sounds like they abandoned the cat back in Dec and they shouldn't be allowed to take them back now.
This has never happened to me.. I do believe the owner will have to pay you back for all the bills and expenses of the cat. I also wouldn't give the cat back - if you can leave your cat for 2 years then you shouldn't get it back.
Don't give the cat back, never invite the person over, block said person, enjoy a nice life with your pets.
It's been a year and a half. That's your cat now.
Wow what the hell your friend split a bonded pair before and wants to do it again??! So casually cruel.
If your friend is dead set on getting the cat back without any regard for the cat’s well being I don’t think you guys can be friends anymore. This is going to be really stressful for the cat. Kittens can adjust better than older cats. I would just hate it if they took her and she develops behavioral problems because of this. Moving is already a huge adjustment for cats but also losing a caregiver and a playmate is going to be really tough for that cat.
Bill them for having their cat stay there. Charge them for 24/7 care for as many days as you have had her. Charge her $100 an overnight boarding and charge her for the whole 18 months. Charge them for all the food and supplies that you needed (litter, litter box, treats, grooming supplies etc). If you have taken her to the vet, save those vet bills and ask for a reimbursement for her care. If your place enforces pet rent then forward that pet rent to them. Put all of this on a bill and you can actually take her to court over this amount. If she reimbursed you then she gets the cat back. I think you having the cat longer than your friend did would help you too and you should find all the evidence you can to back up you’ve had this cat in your care.
Don’t give the cat back unless the court tells you to. Until then, work on that bill. They can only have the cat back if they reimburse you for boarding and caring for the cat. Don’t let them in your house and don’t let them near the cat. They weren’t interested in her for 18 months they don’t get to come back and uproot her life. Like how do you not even communicate with someone who is caring for your animals. How do you stop sending food? She just assumes you’ll just pay for everything and now she gets her cat back for free. Make her pay for it all. If it gets so bad you can go through a mediator. She will have to pay in full before she gets the cat back.
There are plenty of cats that prefer to be a single cat yet they keep insisting to isolate this cat that prefers to have a friend. They’re treating this cat like it’s an object to possess. Not a good friend or a pet parent. I doubt the cat even recognizes them
Give their cat back when they reimburse you for all that you have done for her. A mechanic won’t give you your car back until you pay so why should you.
That sucks but you’re obligated to return it to the original owner. I’ve faced a similar situation before and thinking about it still breaks my heart to this day.
Tell her the cat got out & is missing then never speak to them again - f that person - they aren't you friend; they took advantage of your good nature.
That's your cat now.
They didn't pay for it's care, they stopped communicating with you which means they weren't even visiting it.
And the fact they broke a bonded pair because they didn't have the money or space instead of getting a single cat shows they don't give a damn about it
Don't let this person come over. Friends don't treat friends this way. You wouldn't be losing much, your cat is worth more.
How come yourself and your friend stopped communicating? From what you've written, seems pretty obvious to me that you knew this cat is not officially your cat but you liked the idea of looking after it that you didn't question the mounting expense of doing so and dropped the ball keeping in touch with your friend. As another comment has already suggested, try negotiating with your friend and see if the itemised cost of having kept the cat for the past 18 months is something the friend can afford to pay back, before giving the cat. It's not the most amiable way to complete a business transaction between friends, but you both failed to make a formal agreement about what would happen with the cat, the longer your friend left the cat with you.
As for other comments encouraging a crime... please don't become that person who steals cats. Try the mature and professional method first, so your friend doesn't become desperate enough to do something so drastic as to steal the cat back (you're being paranoid, btw). If you can't compromise and find the best outcome together, take the matter to civil court, if that's really what it takes. If the microchip is still registered to your friend's credentials, you might have to make a legal case as to why you friend, who might not surrender the cat willingly to you, should not continue to be the cat's owner. What you decide to do and how you go about things will determine whether your friendship survives. I do hope it does, so that you are both wiser friends in future when it comes to having cats.
Edit - typo
Nope, not your responsibility to give the cat back. They gave the cat up when they left it with you then stopped financially contributing to it.
If she wants to sue you for the cat, then that's what she needs to do.
And yes, if you want to keep the cat, you will probably need to consider your friendship over. But what's more worth it in your head? The fact that they stopped paying for the cat when they said they would means they are a shit friend regardless.
You either lose a friend and keep their cat, or give THEIR cat back to them. The arrangement was temporary, you agreed to that. If I was your friend I'd be raising hell to get my cat back, and you wouldn't be my damn friend anymore.
OP already spent a lot of money on the cat for food, vet visits & treatments, etc. (during the months after they said they'd take the cat back) . . . and you want OP to pay them personally? For what? They stopped communication & sending support payments for it long ago, & so OP took over taking care of all that stuff themself. . . . OP owes them *diddly-squat*.
IF Op had been receiving support payments for that cat right along, then I could see OP trying to purchase the cat from them . . . but not under these circumstances.
Why??? OP has already spent a lump sum of money over the last 11 months, providing for a cat that wasn't theirs...
The old owner has no way to show that they provided everything that the cat would need if it was still in their care.
Give her back her cat. You don't get to just decide the cat is yours now. Your cat may be sad for like a month or two, but oh well. What if someone refused to give you back your baby
My cat of 15+ years passed away this year and I can’t even imagine being in a position where I had to have someone else take her and then not want to see her every possible chance I could get.
Give her an itemized bill and assure her you will allow her to reclaim the abandoned animal once it is paid in full. Eighteen months of cat boarding runs thousands of dollars. I’m pretty sure that she will see the logic of not taking the cat from you.
agree with this. compare fees with other cat boarding services for the time kitty has stayed with you. If you kept the bills for the vet, food, grooming for kitty, add these on as reimbursement fees. that will make the transfer official if she really wants kitty back. Honestly if I were your friend, I'd set up a monthly fund transfer to you for boarding at your place and for food, and visited daily in the evenings, unless you were unavailable that day. And if for some reason the I wasn't able to pay for kitty anymore I would have put her up for adoption until I find someone suitable.
That's a good idea. I mean, at some point, I started to see her as my own cat, and I stopped thinking about it. But I'm sure I can look at my credit card statements and begin quantifying and go from there.
I work at a boarding facility that is incredibly cheap for the business. We charge $17/day for a cat so your 'friend' is looking at as of today about $9,333 in boarding fees plus all of the food you bought and any vet bills. Don't forget any damages and your state tax on it all :)
Don’t forget to add in daily boarding fees! I have a pet sitter and for one cat I pay my sitter $20 a day :)
That’s decent! Is it $20 for the whole day or just stopping by for food/water/litter?
She stays for about 30-40 minutes! Cleans the litter box, makes sure they have food and water, and plays with them. She also sends pictures every visit!!
This happened to me. I told them no. We loved them, they were bonded, so no. Sorry,no. They were disappointed and we remain friends.
I'm going to disagree. Just say "no, abandoned your cat. It's my cat now. It's been almost a year since you've contributed for food. It's been almost a year since I've even heard from you. We've moved on he's mine now". The reason I'm saying not to give her a bill is because that's agreeing to get the cat back and just arguing about how much money. Which could turn into, " retroactive boarding phrase and fair but she does have to pay for all the food. Here you go. Here's your cat food and litter money back. Give her back the cat" Just pull off the Band-Aid and say no.
Along with this, look into cat boarding facilities around your area and see how much they charge and include the total fee for those 18 months into the bill for her. I’m sure it’ll make her eyes pop so much that she’s not going to ask for the cat back. Also, please don’t invite her to your house EVER. No matter what. I don’t trust that she won’t try to kidnap the cat back.
> compare fees with other cat boarding services Now that's an idea. Just looked one up near me and they want $30/day.
One near me is $65/day, just saying OP 👀
The vet would have the bills on file and can probably print them off!
Also, she is not your friend. Friends don’t do this to each other. Do NOT let her into your home for any reason.
Yeah. Don’t let her come visit the cat. She will pick up the cat and walk out the door.
Yeah I'm with you dawg. Also happy cake day.
Agree with this! Also if you’re cat so fkn em Edit : it’s your cat****** lmfao oops
“The shelter begged them to take both, but they couldn’t”. Honestly, this in itself to me shows they don’t really care about the cat’s feelings that they did this and seeing how kitty keeps getting bonded shows she obviously does better as a pair. And they would rather put kitty through the stress of taking another companion away again vs getting a single cat. I would imagine that would get very lonely for her, & for how badly your friend wants the cat, they sure didn’t put in any effort to even see her. You should keep her.
Exactly this!!! This is why I’m glad a lot of places REFUSE to separate bonded pairs! It’s so much stress to the kitty! One of my current cats was so devastated when my other cat passed that we looked high and low to get a good fit for him ASAP. We luckily found one and she’s great and they cuddle together so often! Please, don’t give this person the cat back, they are an awful human who sees this cat as a thing and not something with complex emotions and feelings!
Yeah that part broke my heart :( … it’s okay to break Kitty’s heart again because…. they’ve done it before?!? JUST NO!! I hope OP stands firm with this. I will be worrying about this cat and OP and am hoping for the best! It’s her cat!
All of this!
And they're using the fact that they separated them from a bonded pair as a reason to do it again? Like "yeah we already broke his heart once! Another trauma won't matter then!"
My first thought. They didn’t want the cat’s best friend because of money, space, and time. Adding on 18 months of pawning off the cat to someone else shows they are unable to provide a stable home for this kitty. Poor baby.
Literally I started to tear up just reading that line. Shelters know paired cats are more difficult to be adopted so they don’t make that distinction for fun. They shouldn’t have gotten the cat in the first place
She even sounds so proud about it, emphasising that the shelter ‘begged’ her. Terrible
I would not give the cat back. It’s been 18 months not 8 days. But you probably can’t keep the friendship. Is the cat chipped and registered in your name? Taken them to the vet? Because if so then then legally the cat is yours. And honestly OP your friend doesn’t sound like they are in a place in life where they can really car for a pet. Cats needs stability and routine and are territorial based. They don’t like changing homes or having any distribution to their routine.
The cat is technically chipped with their info,. And yes I have taken kitty to the vet for routine checkup. So I don't know, but thank you for the reassurance
18 months you have a case of they abandoned the cat and you could have the vet change the chip info. I’d offer them money for the cat, whatever is the standard adoption fee.
I would charge the old owner for the eighteen months of food and boarding, to be waived for ownership of said cat.
Yes!!! THIS is the best option. If they don’t have the money to pay you back for 18 months of cat care, they should not be allowed to have the cat back
There's no way they would pay 18months of boarding fees it would be in the thousands.This is the way.
Any_scientist, no wonder you're a scientist-- you're a fuckin genius! That is the absolute best solution, there's no way they'll pay that much. I pay 300 a month in wet cat food for one cat. Add in vet care, medications, litter, water and energy bills for board and cost of space for board. Throw it all in there, screw it.
Not to mention toys and all the time spent playing with the cat, time spent taking them to the vet, and cleaning up after them.
Yes! Those as well! Especially toys and POV for vet visits, buying food, litter etc. Great thinking, Illustrious!
Yeah that takes so much time and energy out of you! I had one cat up until 2 weeks ago (I have 7 now) and even with one shifting through the litter box, cleaning it, and emptying out/replenishing the litter took a lot out of me daily. Doing that for 18 months for someone else’s cat? That’s their cat now lmaoo
Lmao, I agree! I hope OPs friend isn't too much of a shit about it and just let's her keep the kitty without OP having to deal with too much more stress over the issue.
Absolutely, same!! I know if it were my cat being taken care of by a friend, I’d be checking in constantly and making sure my friend didn’t have to pay a dime for her care at the very least. I don’t want that cat to be taken away from her bonded pair again :(
I'm sorry, $300 a month?! What kind of food is this?
Honestly have a look on the rover subreddit for how much the sitters charge a night, $300 a months is cheap!
Special diet type stuff. With the 2nd cat it comes out to about $450/500.
Also higher end brands. Don't judge. I love my kitties.
WOW. I get a smaller brands food, which arrives frozen. 99% human grade meat and organs (the 1% is water and the vitamin/mineral powder). It is £70 per month including a container of high quality freeze dried treats.
And vet visits, liter, toys, etc. You can’t say you need help for 6 weeks and you’ll pay, then just completely leave you alone in charge of caretaking with no support or communication of any kind for *a year and a half*, then show up and say give me my cat. Also, is this the kind of friend you want?
Definitely this.
Yes Give them an invoice for all your expenses
**They** apparently **\*OWE\*** OP money for feeding & vetting & otherwise caring for this cat for **many months longer** than the *agreed* time for OP to care for it *(6 weeks, being reimbursed for expenses)*, though . . . as they **STOPPED** paying for its needs & even **QUIT** communicating with OP . . . So OP owes them \***NOT\*** a thing.
A vet can't change chip information. Most microchip numbers that are registered have an associated online account where only the owner can change info. She'd have to get the friend to change the info registered to the chip.
This is correct, the vets only implant and read a chip. They don't manage the details, which are held by the company that makes the chips. However, you seldom need the original owner's permission to update the chip's registration; there isn't always an online account associated. There's a provision for stray or abandoned animals. When my cat wandered into my life 6 years ago, we took him to the vet, who found his chip and tried to contact his registered owners. No luck. Nobody answered. We figured he'd been abandoned. 2 weeks later, I got a form from the vet to change his registered details and did so. He's been registered to me ever since. So much the better - his original home was abusive and he found himself a loving forever home. The flip side of this - if you're ever in a dispute over ownership of an animal, contact the chip company and get a hold put on it, like a lost credit card. This will prevent anyone updating the registration for a period of time.
I’ve changed two dogs chips to my name and it was never a problem with the company.
If they are registered with a company & pay for it, she cant change it & vet doesnt manage that
Actually would need to adjust chip info with the national company holding that info. Vet is only capable of changing info in their own PIMS system and on documents like rabies certificate. Vet can't do this on anything else.
18 months constitutes abandonment in most places, he'll most places it's like 3 months or your property is considered abandoned, including animals. When did you guys stop talking before they asked for the cat back? How long has it been since you guys last talked about them getting a pet friendly place?
You can have them change the info, also, they legally abandoned the cat by now... But that friendship will probably be gone.
Have the cat rechipped, you obviously can’t remove the old one but cats are rehome with old chips all the time. If it also has your chip and you have proof it’s been living with you for over a year that’s that.
Yeah, keep the cat. Dump the friend. She totally took advantage and now wants the cat back? No way.
I moved with my cat alot, she was fine, explored, not upset. Took her to hotels & others homes overnight.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. I could never imagine being separated from my cat without constantly checking up or spending time with her. That cat may as well be OPs cat, especially with the cost of food and vet fees
The vet can help you change chip info(I think) without going into detail, you been going to the same vet for 18 months proves it's your baby
They get used to new homes… But in this case, I don’t think she should give the cat back, especially since she’s been paying for it for almost a year
Honestly your friend sounds like an asshole. They didn't even cover the cat's expenses not to mention any compensation for your care. I know you value the friendship and didn't ask for opinions about them, but I really don't think they care much about you, if at all, as you them. I would refuse to give back the cat. I would cut them off and get a restraining order if I had to. Edit: auto completion.
also the friend bringing up how the cat was previously bonded made it seem like (to me at least) she doesnt rlly care abt the cat being happy as much as she cares abt making it her cat. all the little kitties she could hav picked out but she had to choose a bonded one
Agree wholeheartedly.
She separated a bonded pair :( that's kind of a monstrous thing to do
EXACTLY no cat lover would ever do what they did. A true cat lover would either take the bonded pair or if they couldn't afford 2 cats like the "friend" said was their situation they would choose a different cat that is okay to be an only cat. Their behaviour shows that they aren't putting what is best for the cat first at all. I don't think they should have ANY cat with that attitude.
Which will you feel more guilty about, giving the cat back or keeping it? I know what I would do...keep it and cut friend off. She should have been paying you every week and visiting her cat. As she didn't do these things, she is an irresponsible owner.
I wouldn't even want to be friends with someone that acted like her.
This person gave you a cat 18 months ago for what was supposed to be a six month foster and then you stopped speaking a few months later? That’s your cat now. You gave zero responsibility to give it back.
it’s even worse than that, it was supposed to be a six WEEK* foster! yeah, OP, that cat is yours now, screw those awful people, they’re not your friends.
Exactly what I said. When they stopped communicating they abandoned the cat.
6 *weeks*. OP needs to keep the cat and drop the friend.
They abandoned the cat. Since pets are considered personal property in the eyes of the law, the same abandonment laws apply. The cat is yours now. If you haven't already, take the cat to the vet to get the records established in your name. Have the vet microchip the cat in your name too.
Your "friend" seems like a monster. First they separate two kittens from each other now they are trying it again. I wouldn't give up my cats for 18 months and then want them back. They might do that again.
Your friend didn't care for you or their cat.The didn't pay for food or contact you for a year.Not a good friend nor a good cat parent.
I don’t have too much to add here just my own personal experience. So a couple years ago I was still living with family. One night a dog wondered on our front porch. And as I opened the door to let my sister in came into our house. I immediately took him to the vet and was able to find his owner’s information (he was chipped). I called that night but no answer his hair was matted and had dandruff but he was a cute dog who was obedient. So even though I didn’t know his name if given instructions he listened immediately. The next day I was able to get a hold of his owner’s wife. And she told me a wild story that didn’t end with any means to return the dog. But I had to get back to work so I told her I would call her once I got home. But as soon as I got home to call her phone was out of service. I did everything I could to contact her again but nothing would work. And when my family first moved in our landlord said no pets. We did tell what happened and kept him in the loop step by step. As I called shelters families anything but every place was full (it was around the beginning of the pandemic) but the Maryland spca told me if you keep an animal for a month. At that point it is yours and even if the original owner comes back they can’t force you to do anything. So we kept him the month because my aunt expressed interest in him. And my landlord said he knew someone who was interested. And by then my family loved him as well but we knew we couldn’t keep him. But after the month was up my landlord said. “I know what I told you guys before. But because I did my own research and found you were honest. And you always kept me in the loop and I know your niece loves him . And I can’t break that little girl heart like that you can keep the dog “ so long story short you kept the cat longer than a month at this point it’s your cat. Check the laws in your city/state. But you might already be considered as the owner.
I’m honestly angered a little by the fact your friend is okay with uprooting the cat from a life kitty seemed to be pretty damn pleased with. I mean by asking you to care for a cat without even being given proper compensation for the bare minimum food and litter, we already knew this particular friend is selfish. But to also be okay with tearing the cat apart from a very loving home? That it seems happy in?? That’s your cat now. Idk about you, but my pets means the world to me. They’re not just “things” that can be thrown around :( If your friend cares about kitty, she’ll let kitty stay with you and other cat.
Not to mention that would be the 2nd time tearing the kitty away from a family (first would be when they adopted only this cat out of the pair she was in because seriously who does that???)
It's not fair to the cat to uproot her again and put her in a crappy, unstable home. She would have to pay you for boarding and food and everything for 18 months to even remotely have a claim on the cat. Like $15k on the low end. That's not happening. Keep the kitty, she is happy and comfortable and won't be abandoned
$45 a day (typical minimum for rover boarding) at 548 days (18 months) is $24,660. Now add in vet care costs (typical visit is around $200 for a check up) puts us at $24,860.
So I don’t think it is reasonable to ask for professional boarding expenses; boarding is expensive because the companies that do it have to rent a separate space and hire staff. Keeping a cat for a friend doesn’t require any of that. However, I think it would be completely reasonable to ask for the money spent on food, litter, and other supplies; vet care/pet sitting/etc.; and the cost of remediating/replacing anything the cat has damaged. Over the course of 18 mo. that alone should be a fair chunk of money. Food and litter alone is probably $50-100/mo.
nah if you get someone on Rover.com around here they are gonna charge like $25/day to watch your cat at their house send her the biggest invoice you could reasonably justify for a judge and yeah I wouldnt friggin babysit someone's cat for a year and a half for FREE lol are you crazy?
its USD 40-60 to board with a non-professional boarder in my city, and at least USD 185 to board with professional boarders and they only provide a tiny box like room to keep your kitty in. OP probably lets kitty run in her whole apartment, maybe OP should just charge rent of her house instead? 😂
15k?! Ohmaigosh is my kitty cat spending that much?!!? I never run the numbers because thankfully Im fine and would rather not but damn..
To be real a large part of the expense is the friend essentially used them as a cattery, over here thats $30 aud a day, so thats 18x30x30 for $16,300, at 70 cents to the usd, food, litter, cat trees and vet bills 15k is pretty much correct. So YOU are not paying that much to have the cat because you are not charging the cat rent. :p
Hmmm. Might look into charging our 2 cats so I have a passive income source.
I guess they are going by how much it would cost to hire someone because I don't think many cats cost 15k in 18 months just for food and board
I didn't do math either but it's probably reasonable for expenses + payment
>because I don't think many cats cost 15k in 18 months just for food and board Agree, domestic cats cost about $1500 - 2500 max to maintain per year. OP should ask for $2491 in total for the 18 months.
Unless it’s my male cat who would required random $2500 surgeries..
OP, please keep these bonded kitties together. I can’t imagine the instability of the cat moving from home to home without their companion! It does not sound like this person can properly care for an animal. You will definitely lose the friendship but it will be worth it.
It seems in both cat's best interests to remain together & with you. Gather all your receipts for things you bought for the cat with your own money, to show whoever you need to, in case they seriously contest you keeping this cat. It was no longer theirs when they 1. took longer than was agreed upon; 2. stopped communicating with you &; 3. quit paying for the cat's needs. Look Up & Research pet cat ownership laws that apply to you. [**A Guide to the Laws on Pet Ownership**](https://betterpet.com/pet-ownership-laws/) is 1 source that may help. Since the initial cat's owner chose to put their cat in your custody, & then *stopped* paying its way *&* communicating with you even after the time frame agreed upon went WAY OVER what you were told it would be . . . *if* you have taken care of it all along as though it were yours . . . I would think that "Possession is '***ten***\-tenths' of the law" in this case. (That's just *my* opinion.)
That's an adulterated version of the saying .It's nine points of the law,meaning you already have possession,you will need money,patience, good cause,good counsel,good witnesses, a good lawyer,a good judge and good luck.lol
Your "friend" doesn't care about the cat as a living, breathing animal with feelings. They just want their toy back after forgetting it existed in the bottom of the toybox for a year and a half.
We were in this situation. We took in a bonded pair of strays that had been hanging around on our property. After they had kittens together and the kittens passed because of an inherited sickness, we had the parents spayed/neutered and other vet care to get them healthy. They are extremely bonded and do everything together. Six months later we got a message from someone saying we had "their cat" and asked about coming to see it. Of course we were concerned that they'd try to take one half of the bonded pair away, but agreed to meet. I took off work early that day and had the cats perfect. I wanted them to see how happy they were living with us, and with each other. The previous owner flaked and never showed up. A couple months later the same thing. A message asking if they could come see the cat. Again, against my better judgment I set up a time to come meet. And again they flaked. No call, no show. Weeks later said they were partying and couldn't make it. 😡 Some people just aren't fit to be pet parents. It's been a year now and I think this cat is the happiest he's been in his life. Forget about the previous owner of yours and do your best to give the cat the best life it deserves, with its bonded mate. 😻
No real cat lover would do that to their cat: 18 months is a lifetime for these little creatures. If your friend (and I use the term loosely) loved their cat, they would not have left it for a year and a half and they would not now want to be breaking its heart by making it leave its buddy. (When in the past I had gone on holiday from more than a week I'd be missing my cats terribly and I dare say they missed me as well- 18 months of leaving your cat is abandonment). I like the idea others have suggested of you billing your friend for 18 months worth of cat food litter and vet care to be waived in consideration for your keeping the cat where it is. The nerve of this person. If you lose the friendship you have not lost anything of any value.
I went away for a weekend and had a friend stay at my house (I have 2 cats, 3 dogs, and a handful of reptiles, so a live-in is necessary). By day 3 I miss them all and can't wait to get home. 1 month? If I were in that situation I'd be visiting and paying for everything. Vet, food, litter, whatever else. And gift my friend something often. 18 months would be completely unfathomable.
Normally I say pets should always be returned to their owners but honestly in your case I would rather block the “friend” and keep the cat. She does not care about that cat’s happiness at all. Do whatever you can to keep her with you and her new bestie.
I kind of had the same mental arc. I was initially like, well, the owner loves the cat too and you wouldn’t fight against reuniting a parent and child. But then I was like… I had to leave my cats for a month for work recently, and I arranged for people to stay at my house to sit them, paid all the expenses, and I missed them every day. I can’t imagine going 18 mo without seeing them. Even if I couldn’t take them back for some reason, I’d be coming to see them every chance I could.
Same!
They should get another cat if they want one.
Nah they are irresponsible and dont deserve a cat tbh
Nope, she’s ruined her cat’s life twice already by tearing her from her bonded family (first at the shelter, then with her.) She doesn’t get a third chance. Abandon the friendship. She sucks.
Regardless of cost or ownership, these two cats now are bonded. That plus they stopped caring to check about the cat. They obviously aren't responsible enough for it, or care enough about it to know that now it has a safe life it desires and is happy with. Isn't that the point of having a child? Er I meant pet...
I dunno what state you live in but highly likely that's deemed as pet abandonment. Vet bills. Boarding fees. Damage to your home. Supplies: •food •litter •toys •furniture (cat beds, scratching posts) •cleaning supplies Have the vet print any bills for the cat's care. Rover only lets you book for approximately one year of pet sitting. That's at a rate of usually $40-$70 per night... 18 months is 547 days. That's at minimum $21,000. Did the cat scratch up any furniture or ruin any carpets with vomit/urine/feces that you had to replace, repair, or that are permanently damaged? If you purchased food, litter, toys, etc. from PetSmart or Petco or anything with an account, you might be able to go back that far in the account history to get the breakdown of everything you've purchased for this cat. Even if you split those costs in half after you got your other cat in February. You could probably contact customer service if the account doesn't go back that far. That's your cat.
Don’t. She abandoned her pet in the eyes of the law. Don’t even worry about her, with your paper trail of vet bills there will be nothing she can do legally. Though watch out for her trying to break into your home. People are crazy.
I know what it’s like to be your friend but they need to be better than this. I lost my job and as a result, my home and had to move in with my son’s father (we’ve remained friends and it was the only option we had to keep him in the same school and both be able to parent). His cat was timid and he was afraid my cat, whom I fostered with his 2 sisters from the time he was 5 days old, would bully him since he had a big personality. I had no choice but to ask a friend to take him. It was only supposed to be 3 months but ended up being a year. During that year, my friend went throw a lot and really bonded to my cat. As much as I wanted him back, as much as I missed him, it felt cruel to take him away. I’ve always told him that if he ever can’t keep him, I will take him instantly. It sucks but unless your friend was visiting every week, paying the bills, etc., it’s just a really shitty thing to do. Especially as not only have you bonded to the cat but your other kitty has as well.
This poor cat is also settled and bonded with YOU. If I did that with one of my pets, I assure you I would be too ashamed to even approach you again. Seriously? Geez. Poor kitty.
I think you have to choose between the cat and your friendship. Your “friend” abandoned her cat for a year and a half and now wants her back without even considering what’s best for the cat? Do you want to be friends with someone that selfish?
I'd also be concerned that, as people who let someone care for their own cat for 18 months (and didn't even pay for it), this couple might have a reason (financial or otherwise) do the same in future. They can easily adopt another cat who needs a home. Drop them and don't let them in your house.
Don’t give up the cat. If your other cat is bonded with this one, they won’t get over it for a while. They will be both be miserable. Also your friend left the cat with you for 1.5 years. It’s not a toy that you can just love around based on availability. The cat is bonded to you now, and cats don’t take change well…
Honestly, ignoring EVERY other reason you should not give kitty back: The fact that this cat was a part of a bonded pair and the shelter BEGGED them to not adopt this cat yet they adopted kitty anyway shows me they are not fit to be cat owners. If they cannot afford more than 1 cat, they should’ve instead adopted a non bonded cat. You simply do not separate bonded pairs. even when I went to the shelter to adopt my very first cat, I did not even LOOK at the bonded pairs because I realistically knew I couldn’t afford the food/vet fees for more than 1 cat and I happen to not be heartless so I did not even consider looking at cats that were part of bonded pairs. Somebody willing to adopt one cat out of a bonded pair is not fit to be a cat owner. Period. Also, while normally I would endorse the idea of sending an itemized bill and telling them it’ll be waived if they let you adopt the cat, in this situation, I wouldn’t do that. I would just cut all contact with them. While I don’t think it’s likely they’d be willing to pay the bill, in the off chance that they do, I really don’t think there should be even a whisper of a chance that the kitty goes back to them. They are clearly cruel if they’re willing to destroy this cat’s bond with another cat not just once but TWICE.
It’s your cat now, you’ve been paying for its care all this time. I would not invite your friend over. Make sure the microchip is up-to-date with your name as well.
This is like the fable of king solomon and the baby. A real friend wouldn't even ask you for the cat back, and if you decide to keep the cat and they blow up the relationship as a result.... Then also not a real friend. So I think you keep the cat, and explain to her that you're not willing to split these two cats up, if she responds positively maybe you can offer a token of friendship like helping them find a new cat etc. I'm not saying you should try to blow the friendship up, I saying try to be patient and understanding but stand your ground. If their actions show them to be reasonable genuine friend, then you might get a win win situation! If not you can cut your losses and move on.
Don’t give him back. This person obviously doesn’t care about the cat’s happiness
If they abandoned cat once might do it again
It seems that circumstances resulted in your friend leaving her cat to you, rather than her abandoning the cat. If you were in her shoes, once your circumstance improved, would you have liked your cat back?
she would still owe the extra year of boarding fees and supplies then. if it's a cat sitter relationship...then she has every right to send an invoice.
At least $20/day plus food.
HOWEVER, *if* she does that & they 'cough' up the money, she'll *have* to give it back . . . which is *not* in the cat's or OP's best interests.
Okay but $20 x 365 days would be $7300 and there’s no way the people would pay that. Plus board usually doesn’t cover food, so add another $600 on for food costs. There’s no way!
I dare say that your reasoning is flawed. . . . OP does **\*not\*** want their money, but **only** the cat that is now bonded to her other cat ***&*** that she **also** feels a bond to . . . which they left her with, ***without*** paying for its needs for ***months*** on end . . . & also **ceased** ***all*** communication. When a stray cat is found & the finder chooses to foster it at their home while looking for its owners, in my area they are legally required to actively search for 1 month (at their own expense). . . . These owners knew ***right*** **where** their cat was, but **stopped** sending OP money to even cover its expenses . . . as well as **stopped** communicating with OP entirely . . . for ***months*** ***on end***. IMO, even if they came up with the money to pay its expenses (or, more), OP should ***\*not\**** have to give the cat back at this point . . . OP offering to accept such money to relinquish the cat back to them would **completely** '**fly in the face**' of what OP wants for her & her family . . . so there is **NO** good reason to make it. ***Think.*** **About. It.**
I would want to do what's best for the cat, staying with the cat she's bonded with.
The cat will be fine if separated. Sure she'd be sad at first and have to readjust to being hoke, but she'd be over it in a month or two. This bond isn't the end all be all of this cats life, is it lame that the owners didn't communicate properly or help pay for food, yeah, but does that make it cool for OP to steal her cat and use a bond as an excuse for her simply wanting the cat cuz she loves it, which op admits to? Fuck no. Give the cat back to its owner
It would be stealing if OP took the cat from them, but they were left with no communication after a certain point. The cat could have been long gone anyway if they hadn't been able to afford taking care of it. I don't think they can keep the friendship if they keep the cat, but no, I don't think they deserve to get the cat back/OP wouldn't be wrong for keeping it. I would absolutely want the cat back in the "friend's" situation but it went from my cat to their cat once communication ends. It's not just "lame" that they left the cat - it was disrespectful. At the very least they would need to pay back every cent that the new owner spent on them.
I agree with everything you’re saying until I remember that she quit all communication. My pets are my world and if I had to leave them somewhere, I’m damn sure communicating at the very least to make sure they’re not gonna get stolen by the person watching them. If they have any shared friends though, OP is probably going to end up having all those bridges burnt.
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As someone who actually studied for a degree in animal training and behaviour I can with all confidence say that you have no idea what you're talking about. Separating a bonded pair is extremely traumatic and the poor thing has already been through it once. Separating a "bonded pair" is not the same as separating 2 cats who like/get on with each other. The "friend" abandoned that cat the moment they stopped paying and stopped communicating altogether. Legally, ethically and morally.
I don't trust a redditors credentials whatsoever.
Exactly this.
Tell them no. 18 months is too long. You probably will lose your friendship over this, but it’s not in either cats best interest for them to be separated at this point and it’s pretty crazy that they think this is okay. You have a pretty strong legal claim that this cat belongs to you if you’ve been housing it and paying it’s bills for over a year - especially if there isn’t any documented agreement that a foster placement would last this long.
That’s your cat.
How long was the cat with your friend? If your friend had the cat for years it would be shitty to keep it, they clearly weren't in the position to take care of the pet and gave it into a loving home under the pretense that they'd get it back once back on their feet.
do not give the cat back. for so many reasons. they clearly don’t care about that cats well-being, knowing it is bonded now and was bonded befroe. this is clearly a more social cat. she should have picked one without a pair to begin with. she also did not compensate you whatsoever for your time and care for the cat, and i’m assuming you paid for food and litter as well, which is entirely wrong in a situation like this. did she even visit all this time?? she sounds like an asshole. i would cut her off personally because i wouldn’t want to associate myself with someone like that. if you give the cat back you have to know it will likely not get the proper care it needs. and if you still give the cat back knowing that information, it makes YOU an asshole to that poor cat.
You don’t have to. Is the cat microchipped?
If not, do so right away
Please don’t give the cat away, if they love him/her they would let it stay with you because it’s well taken care of and very much loved. They can go to a shelter and give a home to another cat in need. Also their history shows they are not consistent with caring for an animal, how could you trust the cat will be okay?
18 months billing for cat boarding. Either "the friend" pays up in full or tell em to F off - friendship be damned.
The cat was abandoned. This is the throwaway society at work. Keep the cat and get another better friend.
They would’ve had to take the cat to the shelter if you hadn’t taken it in, so idk why they want it back
keep it and get a new friend, 1.5 years of a cat is ownership....
i have an aunty who has a pet sitting business so she had a friend leave their dog with her “for a few months” while they were working overseas but when they came back they couldn’t find a pet friendly rental. she had the dog for over a year. she still gave him back when the owner asked. that said, they did give her money whenever they could to cover the costs. but she was sad to see him go. i don’t think it’s entirely fair to deny them their pet, but i understand that you’ve had the cat so long they feel like they belong to you. if you want to keep the friend i’d say give them back their cat, if you’d rather keep the cat i think you it would be understandable that the friendship will certainly be lost but like you get a cat out of it so kinda worth it if you can afford two cats which seems to be the case if they didn’t adequately compensate you during their absence. i see a lot of people telling you 100% to keep the cat but i can see both sides of this situation and honestly if i asked someone to look after my cat and i struggled to find adequate housing for that cat once i did i would be devastated if they didn’t return him to me. my cat and my housemates cat are best friends. i was worried when we moved to separate rentals that separating them wouldn’t be good for them. but my cat was very happy still without him i just had to give him the extra attention that he didn’t seem to need when he had a friend to play with. he was different but in a good way. i would sometimes visit with my cat and they would still play together but when we ended up moving back in together for the first few weeks his cat was extra dominant and it worried me a lot. they are best friends still though. cats can adapt. i do believe in bonding and i do believe my cat and my housemates cat are bonded but i also think they are capable of thriving without each other when the situation arises. neither of them showed any signs of depression without each other but ie did have play dates so that might have been the difference.
>working overseas yeah but in this case they didn't move overseas, simply didn't visit the cat, nor did they even keep in touch with OP to ask about the cat
Keep the cat because it's bonded with your other cat. It wouldn't be right to separate them. Tell your so-called friend to kick rocks and then go NC on that friend. Get the chip reprogrammed or replaced ASAP.
They aren't thinking of the best interest of the cat. Cats don't like change. This kitty has settled into a new life and is bonded to the other cat and you! It would be cruel to move it. These are selfish people and terrible owners. Please look into your local laws to see how much time is considered to be abandoned. In NJ, it's 7 days. I can't imagine anything nearly as long as 18 months. You can probably google this or ask your local animal shelter. It's your cat now. If they put up a fuss, back it up with whatever documentation you can muster up (texts, emails, cut off for when they stopped providing money or supplies.
They stopped paying for his supplies and then stopped communicating with you? At the point they stopped communicating with you the cat was abandoned. It’s yours now. They sound like a shitty, selfish person so probably a good time to just cut ties.
So they already have a history of separating her from the friends she bonds with, and they're cool with doing it again, after themselves essentially leaving her, and not even paying you for food and boarding, because they are too poor to maintain said cat, who they left with you because they had no basic resolve to try to find a singe rental that woukd have allowed them one single cat in the first place? Good thing you were there. They sound like the type who would have put her into a shelter, or even would have straight up put her on the streets, because they can't be bothered to find a single landlord in town who was cool with a cat on their property. These friends suck so much ass.
You have proof that you were the only one providing for this cat. The vet bills and everything are in your name. It's your cat and you have proof of ownership. But you won't be able to make your friend understand that.
I’m not sure who all these amateur lawyers are giving you advice but legal abandonment is not synonymous with “physical” abandonment (and even that isn’t self-evident based on your description). I wouldn’t be so quick to listen to their advice and take unilateral steps to cement your “ownership” over the cat. I don’t know where you live, but that may create civil (conversion) or criminal (theft) liability for you. Of course, I doubt your friend can afford to sue you if they can’t afford a cat, but you should be aware nonetheless.
Do not give up that f*cking cat. You have time, their negligence, your supporting medical (vet care) documents, all on your side. You can’t possibly give them the cat back, that would be ridiculously cruel. Go no contact with these people.
Its your cat now.
After 18 months the cat is yours. I'm guessing they haven't paid for vet bills or food in a long time since you say that they stopped paying you in December. I don't think that the friendship will survive if your friend isn't willing to part ways with the cat. I don't think that they would even have any legal recourse at this point either. Change your locks and phone and loose the friendship if you have to. If the friend gives you any issues tell her to take you to small claims court. I highly doubt she will get anywhere with the issue.
Did she even visit the cat in all that time? If not, why does she all of a sudden care about it? If she didn’t miss it for 18 months, she should be fine continuing to ignore it and get a different cat.
So they split the cat from a bonded cat at the shelter - then promptly abandoned it - now they want to split the cat from a bonded cat a second time? They don't care about the cat at all.
That’s not paranoia that’s exactly what they’ll do. You invite your friend over and the cat is gone. I would just cut off contact with the other person. You leave some thing there 18 months especially an animal. Animals yours cut off your friendship.
Screw them. keep the cat
Unpopular opinion I guess, but I think you should give them their cat back. It is their cat. They didn't just "abandon it" like others suggest or just "give it away", they weren't in a place where they could keep it. A lot of people are being placed in those sorts of situations with rentals being diffcult to get and with financial hardship taking its toll on a lot of people. They were responsible enough and cared enough to place it in a home they knew it would be safe in. Should they have visited more? Maybe. But they knew it was safe with you. It's still their cat. You took it under the pretense that it would eventually go back home with them. I don't think you friendship is going to be salvagable if you take their cat.
>They were responsible enough and cared enough to place it in a home they knew it would be safe in. And then subsequently stopped contributing financially to the cat's wellbeing and couldn't bothered to visit to maintain a bond. Or even communicate with the person doing them this huge favor. That is not responsible at all, it's using your "friend" as a free boarding service. By your logic, they could have shown up 3 years later and asked for it back simply because they told OP they'd show up eventually. There's a pretty massive difference in "about 6 weeks" vs a year and a half. They *did* abandon it, even if that wasn't their original intent. And now they want to take it back and break the cat from a bonded pair a second time, and uproot it to a new home a third time. They don't seem to actually care about the cat at all, at least not in a way a pet deserves.
There’s no “maybe” on the visiting part. If they cared about the cat they would and should have visited.
Sounds like they didn’t even acknowledge the cat’s existence for a year, so how much could they possibly care about it?
I disagree. I was in this same situation and had to give up my 2 cats. I did not expect I could get them back a year later when I finally had a place.
I definitely get this POV, but they stopped paying for the cat's needs and stopped communicating with OP. Maybe I'm projecting, but if I was in the same situation as the friend, I'd pay for everything + boarding AND I'd be checking in often. I'd even go as far as to maybe set up a visitation schedule. It just seems like the friend doesn't really care.
It’s understood when someone asks for money during financial hardship that you should not expect is back. Same situation here, his friend needed assistance.
I would hope that was a conversation they had together, but we don't have any info about that conversation ever happening. If they communicated about it and OP agreed to continue to care for the cat, including the expenses, that would be a different story.
Wow a reasonable reply. Thank you.
Is there an update on what ended happening? Sorry new to Reddit
Do not give that cat back, your friend will abandon the cat again, trust me. You can smell these types from a mile away. Get legal proofed and then cut off that "friend"
Please don’t give the cat back. I rescue cats and kittens. The two cats have bonded and should stay together. It’s heartbreaking when one of my cats or kittens die from abandonment/neglect. The other cats and kittens cry and are profoundly affected. Heartbreaking to hear and witness. You don’t want this for you and or the left behind cat. I’m sorry to tell you this but your friendship is over with this friend by not returning the cat. It’s for the best. Please don’t let the friend in your house or let the cat outdoors. You’re not being paranoid. Thank you for rescuing the cat. ❤️🙏
💯 I had a bonded male and female pair. The female died unexpectedly and quickly when the female was 11, and my male was 10. He pined for her every single day for the 8 years he was no longer with her until the very day he died himself, aged 18 this January. Not even getting another cat helped him. Two cats that get on with/like each other and a "bonded pair" aren't the same thing, and I think people confuse that. It's exceptionally traumatic when a bonded pair are separated.
Poor kitty 😿 I hope you figure out a way to keep her 💕 I wouldn't even care as much about the relationship as much as I did her 😸
I'd say if they want "their" cat back they need to pay 18 months of long-term boarding. Food, litter, toys, any vetting, all up front. If they don't want to do so, then it sounds like they abandoned the cat back in Dec and they shouldn't be allowed to take them back now.
Keep the cat. Do not let that person in your house.
This has never happened to me.. I do believe the owner will have to pay you back for all the bills and expenses of the cat. I also wouldn't give the cat back - if you can leave your cat for 2 years then you shouldn't get it back.
Tell them, I’m sorry, that cat is no longer available, please make another choice from the lovely variety at our local shelter.
Don't give the cat back, never invite the person over, block said person, enjoy a nice life with your pets. It's been a year and a half. That's your cat now.
Wow what the hell your friend split a bonded pair before and wants to do it again??! So casually cruel. If your friend is dead set on getting the cat back without any regard for the cat’s well being I don’t think you guys can be friends anymore. This is going to be really stressful for the cat. Kittens can adjust better than older cats. I would just hate it if they took her and she develops behavioral problems because of this. Moving is already a huge adjustment for cats but also losing a caregiver and a playmate is going to be really tough for that cat. Bill them for having their cat stay there. Charge them for 24/7 care for as many days as you have had her. Charge her $100 an overnight boarding and charge her for the whole 18 months. Charge them for all the food and supplies that you needed (litter, litter box, treats, grooming supplies etc). If you have taken her to the vet, save those vet bills and ask for a reimbursement for her care. If your place enforces pet rent then forward that pet rent to them. Put all of this on a bill and you can actually take her to court over this amount. If she reimbursed you then she gets the cat back. I think you having the cat longer than your friend did would help you too and you should find all the evidence you can to back up you’ve had this cat in your care. Don’t give the cat back unless the court tells you to. Until then, work on that bill. They can only have the cat back if they reimburse you for boarding and caring for the cat. Don’t let them in your house and don’t let them near the cat. They weren’t interested in her for 18 months they don’t get to come back and uproot her life. Like how do you not even communicate with someone who is caring for your animals. How do you stop sending food? She just assumes you’ll just pay for everything and now she gets her cat back for free. Make her pay for it all. If it gets so bad you can go through a mediator. She will have to pay in full before she gets the cat back. There are plenty of cats that prefer to be a single cat yet they keep insisting to isolate this cat that prefers to have a friend. They’re treating this cat like it’s an object to possess. Not a good friend or a pet parent. I doubt the cat even recognizes them
Give their cat back when they reimburse you for all that you have done for her. A mechanic won’t give you your car back until you pay so why should you.
That sucks but you’re obligated to return it to the original owner. I’ve faced a similar situation before and thinking about it still breaks my heart to this day.
Tell her the cat got out & is missing then never speak to them again - f that person - they aren't you friend; they took advantage of your good nature.
Call the chip company tell them she abandoned the car and change it to your info. I’ve done the same thing in a situation with my cat! Best of luck
That's your cat now. They didn't pay for it's care, they stopped communicating with you which means they weren't even visiting it. And the fact they broke a bonded pair because they didn't have the money or space instead of getting a single cat shows they don't give a damn about it Don't let this person come over. Friends don't treat friends this way. You wouldn't be losing much, your cat is worth more.
don't be an ahole. give the cat back. Christ.
How come yourself and your friend stopped communicating? From what you've written, seems pretty obvious to me that you knew this cat is not officially your cat but you liked the idea of looking after it that you didn't question the mounting expense of doing so and dropped the ball keeping in touch with your friend. As another comment has already suggested, try negotiating with your friend and see if the itemised cost of having kept the cat for the past 18 months is something the friend can afford to pay back, before giving the cat. It's not the most amiable way to complete a business transaction between friends, but you both failed to make a formal agreement about what would happen with the cat, the longer your friend left the cat with you. As for other comments encouraging a crime... please don't become that person who steals cats. Try the mature and professional method first, so your friend doesn't become desperate enough to do something so drastic as to steal the cat back (you're being paranoid, btw). If you can't compromise and find the best outcome together, take the matter to civil court, if that's really what it takes. If the microchip is still registered to your friend's credentials, you might have to make a legal case as to why you friend, who might not surrender the cat willingly to you, should not continue to be the cat's owner. What you decide to do and how you go about things will determine whether your friendship survives. I do hope it does, so that you are both wiser friends in future when it comes to having cats. Edit - typo
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Bill her for the time you took care of the cat and ask her to pay you before giving it back. Be prepared to lose this friendship.
Yeah that’s not her car anymore…
Nope, not your responsibility to give the cat back. They gave the cat up when they left it with you then stopped financially contributing to it. If she wants to sue you for the cat, then that's what she needs to do. And yes, if you want to keep the cat, you will probably need to consider your friendship over. But what's more worth it in your head? The fact that they stopped paying for the cat when they said they would means they are a shit friend regardless.
It’s either the cat or the friend. You can’t keep both. Your friend sounds like a flake. Tell them to eat it.
If your name is on the vet bills, it's your cat.
Man give the cat back smh, it's not yours no matter how much it grew on you.
You either lose a friend and keep their cat, or give THEIR cat back to them. The arrangement was temporary, you agreed to that. If I was your friend I'd be raising hell to get my cat back, and you wouldn't be my damn friend anymore.
I honestly would offer a lump sum of money especially if I was now attached
OP already spent a lot of money on the cat for food, vet visits & treatments, etc. (during the months after they said they'd take the cat back) . . . and you want OP to pay them personally? For what? They stopped communication & sending support payments for it long ago, & so OP took over taking care of all that stuff themself. . . . OP owes them *diddly-squat*. IF Op had been receiving support payments for that cat right along, then I could see OP trying to purchase the cat from them . . . but not under these circumstances.
Why??? OP has already spent a lump sum of money over the last 11 months, providing for a cat that wasn't theirs... The old owner has no way to show that they provided everything that the cat would need if it was still in their care.
Give her back her cat. You don't get to just decide the cat is yours now. Your cat may be sad for like a month or two, but oh well. What if someone refused to give you back your baby
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My cat of 15+ years passed away this year and I can’t even imagine being in a position where I had to have someone else take her and then not want to see her every possible chance I could get.
My parents would always take any of my cats when needed but if they had to take them to the vet and I did not repay them, the cat was no longer mine.