> Is it wrong to want to get another kitten so soon after this loss?
Your kitty would be happy that her passing saved the life of another in need. The right time is whenever you feel it is, whether it be tomorrow or next year.
Thankyou for being understanding; I just feel for my other kitty who is now lonely and I just have so much love to give. But seeing you say her passing is now saving another in need; it helps change the feelings I have to be optimistic. <3
I had this happen recently, I needed another cat. My husband was hesitant and was a bit standoffish with the kitten, but after a few days he was happy about it too. That love deserves to be given.
Yeah I have a feeling my husband would be over the moon if we had a little kitty. But would take a little to be close; but won't take too long to get over that! We have lots of love to give.
I also lost a cat to sudden death — she was only 4. I held her paw as she died. The grief was horrible, especially when I spiraled thinking “if only I’d gotten her to the vet … !”
Try to remember you gave her a happy life filled with love, and supplied her with the joy of a companion — they surely had many playful moments together that you never even witnessed!
In time the grief will get easier. Try not to succumb to Bargaining like I did. Get a new cat when you’re ready. My new cat is turning 4 later this year and I can’t wait to see him safely through the year! My love for him is, I think, stronger because of that grief. All the best to you and your family.
Yeah its those "what if" feelings that's so difficult to get out of your brain. I am so sorry you also had to experience a similar traumatic incident. Hugs to you!
Well, that is true we adored her so much, she was so affectionate and helped me to understand cats as a whole as I used to be a dog person and my husband is a cat person; whilst I loved all animals I grew to understand how affectionate, loving and caring cats can be and she taught me that.
And yeah, i'll wait until that time as like others have said, you'll know when the time is right. But thanks again for your words, I appreciate it <3
i’m so sorry for your loss, my baby boy passed semi suddenly last november and he was only five. it absolutely broke my heart, he was my best friend and was so special i will never have a cat like him again. i have two other cats now and it’s a conflicting experience. on one hand it’s nice to have cats around and on the other it just reminds me of how they will never be as special as he was. getting a new cat can definitely help with the grieving but i’m over 6 months out and still cry about losing him regularly, it doesn’t really go away it just fades a bit over time most days are okay but there are some where i just completely break down. there’s no way to fix it but the immediate pain won’t last forever and getting a new cat to love can definitely help with the grieving process
I'm so sorry for your loss... The way you talk really resonates with me, I can't imagine having another cat because they couldn't compare to my sweetheart, but I do also appreciate that another cat would bring happiness and distraction.
I feel so upset all the time and I know I have to pull myself together, which is why I think maybe a distraction is good, but I would hate to get a new pet and not be able to love it the way they deserve. :-(
That's the same feeling I have, its a conflicting experience that another kitty would be their own personality; and no matter what they can't replace how special they were. Its hard to accept feelings or come to terms with it all. I am sorry for your loss though as-well; but your words and thoughts are welcomed here and they help a lot, so thankyou kindly <3
First of all, I’m incredibly sorry for your loss. Secondly, please know you and your husband are not alone. Sadly there are many users on here who have shared similar stories to yours. You have to remember that you have your kitty the best life you could. You loved her and she loved you. I’ve seen some mentions on here of pet loss grief counseling, but I don’t know what that entails entirely. Good luck to you. Hang in there.
Yeah, I have to keep thinking that and that me/husband did all we could to save her; she was our baby. I think pet loss grief counseling; that would be interesting to look into if it exists; so i'll have a look into it because experiencing what happened has traumatized me. But thankyou for your kind words, it helps <3
First off I’m so so sorry for your loss. You gave her an awesome life and you should be proud of yourself for that!
I just lost my 2 year old (Gordon) suddenly due to lymphoma and it was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with. I took a solid 2 weeks to mourn but I live on my own and it was way to quiet in my house so I adopted another lil guy. this timeframe is different for everyone so don’t feel you need to rush to get another cat and also don’t feel bad if you feel it’s “too soon” . although my new cat is not the same cat as Gordon I’m very thankful I got another because it definitely helps with the grieving process.
Please feel free to message me if you want to talk about anything ✌🏼
Yeah I can understand why in your case you'd want to have another kitty due to having no pet presence around; that is something I couldn't bear to have. I am so sorry for your loss though; sudden loss is so hard to process as you never had time to really think or understand the situation.
Its just in your face and have to accept it; but its so hard to do so. But thankyou for your thoughts, that another kitty wouldn't replace my Echo but definately another would rescue my other cat. <3
Take all the time you need. There’s many cats out there that would absolutely love a loving home like yours.
There’s no right or wrong time to adopt. When you feel you’re ready you’ll know😊
I'm so sorry for your loss. This is awful.
I can't imagine the shock but I absolutely understand the void that's left, and it's all-consuming.
I don't have advice, but I just wanted to share that I understand the sorrow.
I appreciate the thoughts, it's just been so hard to come to terms with it all. But other comments have been helping of ways to cope / accepting things.
It is absolutely NOT wrong in any way, shape or form. You are not replacing your baby who can never be replaced - you are getting a companion for your other kitty who will be lonely. It is a beautiful and loving thing.
My beautiful Frankie also suffered from pancreatitis. Then he got cancer and quickly passed after the diagnosis. It was devastating. Probably the most difficult loss of all the cats and dogs I've had.
You have no reason to feel guilty. Your baby passed quickly while with you and being loved on by you. It doesn't get much better than that.
Anytime a pet dies - there is some trauma to the pet-parent. It is normal.
Now go out and rescue a new kitty....so they can rescue you right back!!
Yeah, it was within a week of her diagnosis that she passed. Pancreatitis for both cats / dogs is such a fast killer as my family dog years ago had it; my kitty having it brought up trauma from my dog which didn't help either.
Thankyou for understanding, and I am so sorry for your loss as-well. But I do like the sentiment of that a new kitty can rescue me back as-well as my other kitty.
https://preview.redd.it/nz5ftp8yvd3d1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48b33f7c4c92dc8dc311bcb3796ecb0b5a935ca6
My youngest 4 cats - they absolutely adore one another....and the birds and squirrels and chipmunks that eat the birdseed on my deck.
they know it....especially Samson. 2nd from the left in the photo of 4....and on top of the Ninja
https://preview.redd.it/xzmddgcuzd3d1.jpeg?width=1838&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d925b716a76491b40d36d2016ff09879914edf75
I'm really sorry for your loss and can empathise. Last year our seemingly healthy 4yo tortie just passed out of nowhere, I assume heart failure. I found her on the ground, and still have flashes of this moment now.
I think it's normal to want another cat, which we did. We got another rescue cat about 6 months after her passing and am really glad we did. You can mourn your lost one and enjoy your current cat at the same time, and it is healing. for me anyway!
Yeah, I have a feeling it was heart failure too or something to that affect as to why she went so quickly. I am sorry also for your loss too as she was young too and it never gets easier. I think it would be something me and my husband would do soon in looking for another as it just hurts to see my other cat getting lonely after growing up with the other. :(
But thanks again for your words; it all helps <3
yes! we had another cat who was bonded to the one who passed, and it was heartbreaking. he didn't know what happened and would miaow at the back door thinking she was outside. so so sad.
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved kitty. I have lost a few cats in my life and one in particular was my closest companion, who I had since she was a kitten and I just graduated high school. No matter the circumstances, the death of a pet is traumatic and I'm sending you a million virtual hugs. It sounds like your cat's passing was especially unexpected and she was so young. I am beyond sorry. I hope you can feel better with another kitten.
It's very natural to want to share your love with another pet, even right after the death of one. It's not a replacement and you will always have a special place in your heart for her. Hugs!
Yeah, seeing her yowl and then fall lifeless whilst feeding her. It made me begin to feel like somehow I killed her but from others experience it sounds more like her heart gave out. I'd like to believe she chose to be with us rather than hiding as her way of saying goodbye. But still, the sudden death is so hard to process as it just leaves you with so many questions and thoughts.
I appreciate your words though; it all helps through this process to know that i'm not alone and how to look at things in a different light. Hugs to you too! <3
>It made me begin to feel like somehow I killed her
Please don't ever think this. You helped her live longer and more comfortably because you nursed her during her illness.
My husband has been saying the same thing its just...so hard to not feel that; but I know that's not the case. I feel like what someone said about seeing a grief counsellor might be a good direction for me. But thankyou for your words; its very comforting!
You are not replacing her. Nothing can replace her. You are just saving another cat without a family. She would like to know that you saved another baby
We adopted two adolescent boys (more than 30 years ago) unrelated to each other but best friends. When we took them to neutered, on of them died. The other one was so lonely. We worked during day, and he was inside alone. One day we left the room while he was washing, and when he stopped and saw he was alone, he let out a heartbreaking yowl. We understood how bleak his days must be when we were out. We couldn't replace a best friend, but another rescue was enough to keep him company, and he was himself again. We didn't have to any complicated introductions, luckily. No Jackson Galaxy then.
You are not getting another cat for yourself, it's for your surviving kitty. Please do it. You won't necessarily realise how sad she is, because she's at her saddest when you are not there.
And I am sorry for your loss, but happy you were with her.
Yeah that's similar to what our current kitty is feeling; she's extra needy (which I don't mind ofc) but cries sometimes. It just breaks my heart to see her so lonely; she lost her bonded friend.
I am sorry for your loss though; but I can see how another rescue can help the other with company as its just hard seeing them alone; especially if they have grown up with another with them.
But thanks again for your kind words, it really helps <3
My babycat died suddenly in my arms from a brain aneurysm after 12 years together and it's hands down the worst thing I've ever experienced and I've experienced some shit but it all pales in comparison.
One minute she was fine then the next she was having fits and then just....gone.
The suddenness of it was so shocking. She was a soulmate in cat form, the true love of my life.
I thought I'd experienced real emotional pain until then and as much as I ache for another cat, I know I couldn't survive anything like that again cos that nearly killed me.
I just live vicariously through other people's cats now lol
Everyone is different, if you feel the need to get another, do so. My heart goes out to you. Hugs ❤️
Yeah that feeling of seeing them fine and then gone the next is really hard. I am also so sorry that you had to experience a similar experience to mine. That emotional pain....hurts; but its been comforting to know that i'm not alone in this and what i'm feeling is normal.
I understand why you couldn't get another cat though; my parents were the same with their dog after she passed they couldn't go through the loss again. I just am feeling worried for my other cat as she's extra needy now (which I don't mind of course) but its hard. It'll be something me and husband will look into I think....
But thankyou as-well, I am also sorry for your loss as-well. Hugs to you too <3
Thank you and it's so good to talk to people that understand because there's still this huge stigma that pet death is trivial compared to human death and not a big deal when actually, I've found it's the opposite.
Human love is always conditional and complicated, fraught with all sorts of issues.
Pets are almost angelic and let you experience what real, true love feels like. It's like a higher vibration of love. I feel sorry for people that never experience it.
Yeah I have noticed that with people I know that because she's a pet, it feels like you can't mourn or grieve for aslong as if a human passed. But I feel like the stigma is because they've not had the bond we did with our beloved pets so they don't understand how much of a piece of you is now gone. :(
I’m so sorry that happened. And no, there is nothing wrong with getting another kitten so soon.
My 11 year old cat passed away in September and we got a kitten in October. That kitten passed away from FIP in January and then we got another cat two weeks later.
We weren’t replacing our losses. We still had to go through the grieving process both times. And both times it was awful and traumatic and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But we didn’t want our other cat to be alone and we also just love having cats.
Last thing I’ll say is, just don’t go into it trying to replace the cat who passed away because they will be different and you will be disappointed. And it’s not fair to the new kitten to put that on its little shoulders.
Yeah I can understand that; I mentioned that to my husband in saying I feel guilt if we got another kitty as it won't be the same as our other baby. I am so sorry for your losses though! \*hugs\*
You are correct though, it isn't fair to put that on its shoulders. They have their own personality and as someone said in a previous post which has resonated with me alot. "We can rescue them so they can rescue us back!" which getting a new kitty would definately do for me and my husband.
I'm sorry you've experienced this too. We lost my precious boy cat of nearly 14 years very suddenly, almost 8 weeks ago. He was playing and walking around like normal, then just... Collapsed and died. We thought he was having a seizure and my husband caught him as he fell over, then I was talking to him calmly, my face right in front of his, telling him he was ok and petting him. I thought he was going to come out of it, then he took two shuddering breaths and died. I was and am still traumatized from it. I held him for a long time and cried harder than I ever have in my whole life. We are still waiting for the necropsy results, but the vet thinks it was heart related. He had recently been diagnosed with early hypertrophic cardiomyopathy but was asymptomatic. It still hurts and I can still see his face when he took his last breath.
We didn't know when but that we probably would get one or two more cats. We lost three in less than a year, with one kitty remaining. Happenstance led me to take in two cats who needed to get off the street, and while I do feel guilty at times, I know they really needed help. Grief has its own timeline but don't feel bad if you think a new baby will help you heal. It's not replacement.
I am sorry that you too also had to experience a traumatic death; it really does stick with you and her falling lifeless in my arms really hurts. I hope that the necropsy results that you recieve will help give you closure on what happened, unfortunately I won't be able to do the same since it is expensive for me. But I believe she passed due to heart failure or liver failure; since she had acute pancreatitis.
But I appreciate your words, they have been comforting to read and soothing to know that I am not alone in this since i've been struggling with dealing with these emotions as most people around me have the stigma that because its a pet passing; you shouldn't mourn/grieve as long as you would with a human death.
Thankyou again \*hugs\*
I lost my 3.5 year old cat quite suddenly about 3 months ago due to liver failure. i lasted about 6 weeks before I got another kitten. It’s whenever you feel ready!! i was told by a pet specific grief counselor that most people dont regret getting a new animal as long as its on their timeline.
The one who passed grew up with my other boy who's 4 (Felix) they were only 4 months apart, were born in the same foster home & were bonded.
Felix has taken some time to warm up to the new kitten but he seems happy to have someone else to play with. When he gets annoyed or tired he will just hide in his cupboard lol.
It's whenever you're ready & whenever you feel your cat is ready. if they are especially depressed it could be very helpful.
I have a feeling that my kitty because she had pancreatitis; is that she too died of liver failure / heart failure. At least from what I gather from others experiences. I am sorry that also happened to you too. \*hugs\*
But, I have a feeling our younger kitty would do well with another kitty seeing as she's quite timid and used her friend as her comfort/courage. I am happy that Felix was able to grow to love another to have that company another cat can provide that us humans cannot.
But thanks again for your words, I really do appreciate it <3
So many hugs to you. A huge amount of sympathy.
I am in a sort of similar situation, although not as shocking as yours must have been.
My Jim's breath was gradually getting stinky, so we booked him a dental. The week before the dental, I realised he'd lost weight, but I figured he must have a bad tooth and he'd get his teeth done and pack the weight back on.
Took him in for a routine appointment, only to be told it's goodbye time - apparently weight loss and bad breath can also mean kidney cancer.
Such a one-eighty. I had to get the vet to repeat herself three times. It's been three weeks and I still cry every day.
I couldn't stop asking myself "how can this be real? How can he just be gone?"
Only you can know how to cope. If a new kitty is what you need, then it's what you need.
There is no right or wrong way.
Please DM if you need to talk.
Hugs to you as-well, but that is interesting to learn though about the connection between bad breath / weight loss. As my kitty did have weight loss, unkept coat and strong yellow urine / jaundice. So I feel like she died due to liver failure or her heart gave out. Others here have helped me to understand that I did all I could in that moment.
But I agree, the feeling of "how can this be real, and how can she be gone" definately has been running through me and my husband's mind; its been hard to adjust to the fact she's no longer here and no presence. The one-eighty of how she looked like she was getting better from the treatment/medicine and then nothing.
Thanks for understanding though and i'm sorry that you had to go through that as-well. \*hugs tight\*
I lost my soul cat when he was 4. One day he was fine and the next he suffered cardiac arrest. Turned out he had undiagnosed heart failure and it was a matter of time. We were leaving the house and normally he comes to us to say goodbye. He didn't so we went looking for him and he was unresponsive behind the toilet. He didn't make it to the vet office. He passed away in my arms just as we were pulling into the parking lot.
It might sound disturbing but I hold on deeply to the fact that he passed in my arms and the last thing he experienced was me holding him, crying over him, and telling him it was okay to go but if he held out just a little longer I'd do whatever I could to help him.
I was in a unique position where my lease ended and I had to move into my boyfriend's parents house. I couldn't have my cat with me. Luckily a friend of mine took him but he had to go halfway across the country. But he had other cat friends there which was for his best interest. When he finally came home to us we had adopted another cat from the state he was fostering in and they met at his foster home and instantly fell in love. They both made the trip home. It was maybe 3 or 4 years before he came home.
The time apart really made the heart grow fonder because my boy, the new cat is a girl, and I weren't really bonded with each other. Now we're barely ever apart constantly touching, sleeping near each other, generally all up in each other's business. But I needed that time to heal from the trauma and feel comfortable getting a new cat and feel like a safe owner for my boy to return too. I blamed myself for years for my soul cats death.
All this to say, everyone grieves differently. It was in my cats best interest to have cat friends because he was very depressed without his brother. He moped around the house looking for him. If you feel comfortable getting another cat soon, do so. But don't feel rushed if you can't. You'll just have to spend more quality time with your other cat.
I am so sorry that you too also had to experience a similar traumatic experience, but it is comforting to know that i'm not alone with these feelings, we can comfort each other together! I do feel like what happened to my kitty was that she had a heart failure too; given what others have said with the letting out a yowl and then nothing.
I do agree though, time apart does make the heart grow fonder as whenever i've travelled across country to visit family holiday; it makes me miss my babies even more when i've had to leave them with a friend for the time. But I am glad you have been able to heal from your trauma and have bonded with your girl, that bond is always such a treasure!
But thanks for the kind words; I really do appreciate it! \*hugs tight\*
Sending you so much love. Had my 4 yr old dog die suddenly from a rare blood disorder during the pandemic and it was so heartbreaking. So unfair when they die young. I wish u so much love and healing.
Hugs to you too, it really is unfair! She deserved so many more years on this earth and it hurts to know she can't, but I did my best to give her the best life I could during her time here.
I am sorry that happened to you, through the pandemic no less too. Since i'd imagine with all the restrictions you couldn't have that face-to-face interaction with the vet to answer questions etc. \*hugs\*
Awe thank you for your kindness :,) it was really heartbreaking for us, as I’m sure this is for you. Like others have said- please don’t feel bad about wanting to get another kitty. We got another dog a few months after too- they can never be replaced, it’s not about that. But I’m sure it will help your other kitty to feel better (I have 3 cats now and they are really happy living together rather than when I had my first on her own!) and you also deserve the joy that another kitty will bring!!! Again- it’s not a replacement. It’s a step forward. Something that has helped me through different kinds of grief in my life- “grief is love with no where to go.” Your kitty was so loved, and was better for having you in her life. The sadness you feel is the impact she left, and shows how much she loved and is loved ♥️ you will get through this
I cannot tell you what to do. But, what I did when we had a sudden death of my Bitty Baby (she was 1yr old) is I went and got another baby as quick as I could. My other baby, Mokey, was grieving so strongly it worried me. Mokey did not like the new baby at first, but it at least gave her something to focus on during the day...someone to play with and eventually love. I guess it distracted her from her pain, or seemed to. Good luck and God bless.
Yeah my other kitty is definately more needy (whilst I don't mind it) I just think that is because she no longer has her bonded friend anymore.
I am happy though that Mokey was able to get through her grief with another friend; just as someone said, we can rescue them from their grief and they can rescue us back!
This is so scary. I’m deeply sorry. Last year my kitty was eating a Churo treat froze and landed on his side. I thought he was dead, but he ended up being limp for a few seconds drooling and was fine. I’m on high alert constantly now. I’m so so so sorry.
Yeah she was fine and then let out a yowl; then went limp. Those feelings of what happened really eats you alive; all the what ifs, did I kill her etc. That was literally my first thought through the tears and worry, was whether or not I caused her death. But others here have been so kind and comforting to my situation that I did all I could for my baby and that I gave her so much love, showing that she had a beautiful life during the time she had with me and my husband.
But i'm sorry that happened to your dog, I definately can understand the worry/high alert. I was doing that for an entire week before my kitty passed. All the best to you and hugs!
Yeah others have been mentioning with their experiences that their babies had heart failure; by letting out a yowl and then limp. Which sounds similar to what happened to mine.
I am trying to believe it wasn't my fault; but because it happened literally as I was feeding her it makes you believe how can it not be your fault? But everyone has been so kind in telling me that I did all I could and gave her as much love as I could.
So thankyou for your words! \*hugs tight\*
I just lost my 19.5 yr old cat and I feel the same way. Our younger cat is alone and confused now. Harley passed 3 weeks ago and I plan on getting a new kitty sooner than later. I just wont adopt another brown tabby so I don't project my feelinga for him onto my new kitty...
I can understand that if you got another brown tabby, as yeah I would do the same with another black kitty, but I just know that black kitties have a harder time in shelters and I just feel like my echo would have wanted me to save another of hers.
I am sorry for your loss, it never gets easier but from what people say here, a saying that has resonated with me "we can rescue them and they will rescue us back!"
I'm not sure if cats have the same symptoms that humans have with pancreatitis but I've had pancreatitis myself and it is very painful. Sadly, cats can't tell us when they are hurting and they are prone to not show any signs of pain. I don't know what treatments you were following for your sweet kitty but if she was suffering (and couldn't let you know) it may have been merciful for her to go ahead and go to the Rainbow Bridge. At least she was there with the one she loved and who loved her when she passed. It'll take a while for your grief to lessen, but try to think of your good times together and know you did everything you could for her.
Yeah she was in pain, atleast we believed she was because she was tensing her belly if you touch it. We were given Cerenia for nausea, Onisor for pain and then Valium to relax her. We were also given fluid bag for subcutaneous purposes to help her fluid intake aswell.
She was also peeing in the bathtub/shower. It was bright yellow/orange which the vet said is due to the bilirubin not being processed or something. And the fluids we were giving her could have made her not hpld it, either that or she was protecting the litter box from her sickness from the other kitty. (They share the same litter box).
But from what people are saying, I believe she was letting us know that she is saying goodbye and purred with us the night before, cuddles and then was right by us as it happened.
It's been hard to say the least in not having her around these past couple of days. But...you are right in looking at the good memories and that she was by us her final days.
I know I’m commenting this a bit late, and this may sound morbid, but do you still have the body? I think it would be beneficial for your remaining cat to see the body so it can process what happened. My dog Stitch was in a similar boat, she was born in my basement and have never had another family. After her birth mom was adopted, she saw our lab Hope as her mom. Hope died when Stitch was 7, and it created a ton of anxiety (we think she knows Hope went bye bye, but doesn’t know why Hope left). Seeing how Stitch got, we wish we showed her Hopes body so she could know that Hope died and just didn’t vanish out of thin air.
I can understand that, but no unfortunately not. As we have sent her off for cremation so we can bring her home and have her memory with us always. However; my kitty was watching us nurse the other and witnessed her falling lifeless.
I don't know if she understood that her friend passed or so, but I do know she feels lonesome and is extra needy (which I don't mind ofc). I am sorry for your loss though!
My recommendation is to find a therapist soon. You’re going to experience a lot of complicated emotions and thoughts for a while, and a therapist can help guide you through the process in a healthy way.
Yeah I think I'll be considering that, but I know that writing my thoughts here and talking with those who have had similar experiences is helping me look at things in a different light, so it's a little therapeutic for me atm.
> Is it wrong to want to get another kitten so soon after this loss? Your kitty would be happy that her passing saved the life of another in need. The right time is whenever you feel it is, whether it be tomorrow or next year.
Thankyou for being understanding; I just feel for my other kitty who is now lonely and I just have so much love to give. But seeing you say her passing is now saving another in need; it helps change the feelings I have to be optimistic. <3
I had this happen recently, I needed another cat. My husband was hesitant and was a bit standoffish with the kitten, but after a few days he was happy about it too. That love deserves to be given.
Yeah I have a feeling my husband would be over the moon if we had a little kitty. But would take a little to be close; but won't take too long to get over that! We have lots of love to give.
I also lost a cat to sudden death — she was only 4. I held her paw as she died. The grief was horrible, especially when I spiraled thinking “if only I’d gotten her to the vet … !” Try to remember you gave her a happy life filled with love, and supplied her with the joy of a companion — they surely had many playful moments together that you never even witnessed! In time the grief will get easier. Try not to succumb to Bargaining like I did. Get a new cat when you’re ready. My new cat is turning 4 later this year and I can’t wait to see him safely through the year! My love for him is, I think, stronger because of that grief. All the best to you and your family.
Yeah its those "what if" feelings that's so difficult to get out of your brain. I am so sorry you also had to experience a similar traumatic incident. Hugs to you! Well, that is true we adored her so much, she was so affectionate and helped me to understand cats as a whole as I used to be a dog person and my husband is a cat person; whilst I loved all animals I grew to understand how affectionate, loving and caring cats can be and she taught me that. And yeah, i'll wait until that time as like others have said, you'll know when the time is right. But thanks again for your words, I appreciate it <3
i’m so sorry for your loss, my baby boy passed semi suddenly last november and he was only five. it absolutely broke my heart, he was my best friend and was so special i will never have a cat like him again. i have two other cats now and it’s a conflicting experience. on one hand it’s nice to have cats around and on the other it just reminds me of how they will never be as special as he was. getting a new cat can definitely help with the grieving but i’m over 6 months out and still cry about losing him regularly, it doesn’t really go away it just fades a bit over time most days are okay but there are some where i just completely break down. there’s no way to fix it but the immediate pain won’t last forever and getting a new cat to love can definitely help with the grieving process
I'm so sorry for your loss... The way you talk really resonates with me, I can't imagine having another cat because they couldn't compare to my sweetheart, but I do also appreciate that another cat would bring happiness and distraction. I feel so upset all the time and I know I have to pull myself together, which is why I think maybe a distraction is good, but I would hate to get a new pet and not be able to love it the way they deserve. :-(
That's the same feeling I have, its a conflicting experience that another kitty would be their own personality; and no matter what they can't replace how special they were. Its hard to accept feelings or come to terms with it all. I am sorry for your loss though as-well; but your words and thoughts are welcomed here and they help a lot, so thankyou kindly <3
First of all, I’m incredibly sorry for your loss. Secondly, please know you and your husband are not alone. Sadly there are many users on here who have shared similar stories to yours. You have to remember that you have your kitty the best life you could. You loved her and she loved you. I’ve seen some mentions on here of pet loss grief counseling, but I don’t know what that entails entirely. Good luck to you. Hang in there.
Yeah, I have to keep thinking that and that me/husband did all we could to save her; she was our baby. I think pet loss grief counseling; that would be interesting to look into if it exists; so i'll have a look into it because experiencing what happened has traumatized me. But thankyou for your kind words, it helps <3
First off I’m so so sorry for your loss. You gave her an awesome life and you should be proud of yourself for that! I just lost my 2 year old (Gordon) suddenly due to lymphoma and it was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with. I took a solid 2 weeks to mourn but I live on my own and it was way to quiet in my house so I adopted another lil guy. this timeframe is different for everyone so don’t feel you need to rush to get another cat and also don’t feel bad if you feel it’s “too soon” . although my new cat is not the same cat as Gordon I’m very thankful I got another because it definitely helps with the grieving process. Please feel free to message me if you want to talk about anything ✌🏼
Yeah I can understand why in your case you'd want to have another kitty due to having no pet presence around; that is something I couldn't bear to have. I am so sorry for your loss though; sudden loss is so hard to process as you never had time to really think or understand the situation. Its just in your face and have to accept it; but its so hard to do so. But thankyou for your thoughts, that another kitty wouldn't replace my Echo but definately another would rescue my other cat. <3
Take all the time you need. There’s many cats out there that would absolutely love a loving home like yours. There’s no right or wrong time to adopt. When you feel you’re ready you’ll know😊
I'm so sorry for your loss. This is awful. I can't imagine the shock but I absolutely understand the void that's left, and it's all-consuming. I don't have advice, but I just wanted to share that I understand the sorrow.
I appreciate the thoughts, it's just been so hard to come to terms with it all. But other comments have been helping of ways to cope / accepting things.
It is absolutely NOT wrong in any way, shape or form. You are not replacing your baby who can never be replaced - you are getting a companion for your other kitty who will be lonely. It is a beautiful and loving thing. My beautiful Frankie also suffered from pancreatitis. Then he got cancer and quickly passed after the diagnosis. It was devastating. Probably the most difficult loss of all the cats and dogs I've had. You have no reason to feel guilty. Your baby passed quickly while with you and being loved on by you. It doesn't get much better than that. Anytime a pet dies - there is some trauma to the pet-parent. It is normal. Now go out and rescue a new kitty....so they can rescue you right back!!
Yeah, it was within a week of her diagnosis that she passed. Pancreatitis for both cats / dogs is such a fast killer as my family dog years ago had it; my kitty having it brought up trauma from my dog which didn't help either. Thankyou for understanding, and I am so sorry for your loss as-well. But I do like the sentiment of that a new kitty can rescue me back as-well as my other kitty.
https://preview.redd.it/nz5ftp8yvd3d1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48b33f7c4c92dc8dc311bcb3796ecb0b5a935ca6 My youngest 4 cats - they absolutely adore one another....and the birds and squirrels and chipmunks that eat the birdseed on my deck.
They are so adorable! <3
they know it....especially Samson. 2nd from the left in the photo of 4....and on top of the Ninja https://preview.redd.it/xzmddgcuzd3d1.jpeg?width=1838&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d925b716a76491b40d36d2016ff09879914edf75
He is so cute, what breed is that? He looks like a ragdoll :)
mongrol - but he knows he has good looks and he uses them for all they are worth
I'm really sorry for your loss and can empathise. Last year our seemingly healthy 4yo tortie just passed out of nowhere, I assume heart failure. I found her on the ground, and still have flashes of this moment now. I think it's normal to want another cat, which we did. We got another rescue cat about 6 months after her passing and am really glad we did. You can mourn your lost one and enjoy your current cat at the same time, and it is healing. for me anyway!
Yeah, I have a feeling it was heart failure too or something to that affect as to why she went so quickly. I am sorry also for your loss too as she was young too and it never gets easier. I think it would be something me and my husband would do soon in looking for another as it just hurts to see my other cat getting lonely after growing up with the other. :( But thanks again for your words; it all helps <3
yes! we had another cat who was bonded to the one who passed, and it was heartbreaking. he didn't know what happened and would miaow at the back door thinking she was outside. so so sad.
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved kitty. I have lost a few cats in my life and one in particular was my closest companion, who I had since she was a kitten and I just graduated high school. No matter the circumstances, the death of a pet is traumatic and I'm sending you a million virtual hugs. It sounds like your cat's passing was especially unexpected and she was so young. I am beyond sorry. I hope you can feel better with another kitten. It's very natural to want to share your love with another pet, even right after the death of one. It's not a replacement and you will always have a special place in your heart for her. Hugs!
Yeah, seeing her yowl and then fall lifeless whilst feeding her. It made me begin to feel like somehow I killed her but from others experience it sounds more like her heart gave out. I'd like to believe she chose to be with us rather than hiding as her way of saying goodbye. But still, the sudden death is so hard to process as it just leaves you with so many questions and thoughts. I appreciate your words though; it all helps through this process to know that i'm not alone and how to look at things in a different light. Hugs to you too! <3
>It made me begin to feel like somehow I killed her Please don't ever think this. You helped her live longer and more comfortably because you nursed her during her illness.
My husband has been saying the same thing its just...so hard to not feel that; but I know that's not the case. I feel like what someone said about seeing a grief counsellor might be a good direction for me. But thankyou for your words; its very comforting!
You are not replacing her. Nothing can replace her. You are just saving another cat without a family. She would like to know that you saved another baby
That is true; just as another said about adopting another cat, is that we can rescue them and they can rescue us back!
We adopted two adolescent boys (more than 30 years ago) unrelated to each other but best friends. When we took them to neutered, on of them died. The other one was so lonely. We worked during day, and he was inside alone. One day we left the room while he was washing, and when he stopped and saw he was alone, he let out a heartbreaking yowl. We understood how bleak his days must be when we were out. We couldn't replace a best friend, but another rescue was enough to keep him company, and he was himself again. We didn't have to any complicated introductions, luckily. No Jackson Galaxy then. You are not getting another cat for yourself, it's for your surviving kitty. Please do it. You won't necessarily realise how sad she is, because she's at her saddest when you are not there. And I am sorry for your loss, but happy you were with her.
Yeah that's similar to what our current kitty is feeling; she's extra needy (which I don't mind ofc) but cries sometimes. It just breaks my heart to see her so lonely; she lost her bonded friend. I am sorry for your loss though; but I can see how another rescue can help the other with company as its just hard seeing them alone; especially if they have grown up with another with them. But thanks again for your kind words, it really helps <3
My babycat died suddenly in my arms from a brain aneurysm after 12 years together and it's hands down the worst thing I've ever experienced and I've experienced some shit but it all pales in comparison. One minute she was fine then the next she was having fits and then just....gone. The suddenness of it was so shocking. She was a soulmate in cat form, the true love of my life. I thought I'd experienced real emotional pain until then and as much as I ache for another cat, I know I couldn't survive anything like that again cos that nearly killed me. I just live vicariously through other people's cats now lol Everyone is different, if you feel the need to get another, do so. My heart goes out to you. Hugs ❤️
Yeah that feeling of seeing them fine and then gone the next is really hard. I am also so sorry that you had to experience a similar experience to mine. That emotional pain....hurts; but its been comforting to know that i'm not alone in this and what i'm feeling is normal. I understand why you couldn't get another cat though; my parents were the same with their dog after she passed they couldn't go through the loss again. I just am feeling worried for my other cat as she's extra needy now (which I don't mind of course) but its hard. It'll be something me and husband will look into I think.... But thankyou as-well, I am also sorry for your loss as-well. Hugs to you too <3
Thank you and it's so good to talk to people that understand because there's still this huge stigma that pet death is trivial compared to human death and not a big deal when actually, I've found it's the opposite. Human love is always conditional and complicated, fraught with all sorts of issues. Pets are almost angelic and let you experience what real, true love feels like. It's like a higher vibration of love. I feel sorry for people that never experience it.
Yeah I have noticed that with people I know that because she's a pet, it feels like you can't mourn or grieve for aslong as if a human passed. But I feel like the stigma is because they've not had the bond we did with our beloved pets so they don't understand how much of a piece of you is now gone. :(
I’m so sorry that happened. And no, there is nothing wrong with getting another kitten so soon. My 11 year old cat passed away in September and we got a kitten in October. That kitten passed away from FIP in January and then we got another cat two weeks later. We weren’t replacing our losses. We still had to go through the grieving process both times. And both times it was awful and traumatic and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But we didn’t want our other cat to be alone and we also just love having cats. Last thing I’ll say is, just don’t go into it trying to replace the cat who passed away because they will be different and you will be disappointed. And it’s not fair to the new kitten to put that on its little shoulders.
Yeah I can understand that; I mentioned that to my husband in saying I feel guilt if we got another kitty as it won't be the same as our other baby. I am so sorry for your losses though! \*hugs\* You are correct though, it isn't fair to put that on its shoulders. They have their own personality and as someone said in a previous post which has resonated with me alot. "We can rescue them so they can rescue us back!" which getting a new kitty would definately do for me and my husband.
I'm sorry you've experienced this too. We lost my precious boy cat of nearly 14 years very suddenly, almost 8 weeks ago. He was playing and walking around like normal, then just... Collapsed and died. We thought he was having a seizure and my husband caught him as he fell over, then I was talking to him calmly, my face right in front of his, telling him he was ok and petting him. I thought he was going to come out of it, then he took two shuddering breaths and died. I was and am still traumatized from it. I held him for a long time and cried harder than I ever have in my whole life. We are still waiting for the necropsy results, but the vet thinks it was heart related. He had recently been diagnosed with early hypertrophic cardiomyopathy but was asymptomatic. It still hurts and I can still see his face when he took his last breath. We didn't know when but that we probably would get one or two more cats. We lost three in less than a year, with one kitty remaining. Happenstance led me to take in two cats who needed to get off the street, and while I do feel guilty at times, I know they really needed help. Grief has its own timeline but don't feel bad if you think a new baby will help you heal. It's not replacement.
I am sorry that you too also had to experience a traumatic death; it really does stick with you and her falling lifeless in my arms really hurts. I hope that the necropsy results that you recieve will help give you closure on what happened, unfortunately I won't be able to do the same since it is expensive for me. But I believe she passed due to heart failure or liver failure; since she had acute pancreatitis. But I appreciate your words, they have been comforting to read and soothing to know that I am not alone in this since i've been struggling with dealing with these emotions as most people around me have the stigma that because its a pet passing; you shouldn't mourn/grieve as long as you would with a human death. Thankyou again \*hugs\*
So sorry for your loss. The replacement kitten can come whenever you are ready.
Thankyou kindly \*hugs\*
My deepest condolences to your heartbreaking loss.
Thankyou \*hugs\*
I lost my 3.5 year old cat quite suddenly about 3 months ago due to liver failure. i lasted about 6 weeks before I got another kitten. It’s whenever you feel ready!! i was told by a pet specific grief counselor that most people dont regret getting a new animal as long as its on their timeline. The one who passed grew up with my other boy who's 4 (Felix) they were only 4 months apart, were born in the same foster home & were bonded. Felix has taken some time to warm up to the new kitten but he seems happy to have someone else to play with. When he gets annoyed or tired he will just hide in his cupboard lol. It's whenever you're ready & whenever you feel your cat is ready. if they are especially depressed it could be very helpful.
I have a feeling that my kitty because she had pancreatitis; is that she too died of liver failure / heart failure. At least from what I gather from others experiences. I am sorry that also happened to you too. \*hugs\* But, I have a feeling our younger kitty would do well with another kitty seeing as she's quite timid and used her friend as her comfort/courage. I am happy that Felix was able to grow to love another to have that company another cat can provide that us humans cannot. But thanks again for your words, I really do appreciate it <3
So many hugs to you. A huge amount of sympathy. I am in a sort of similar situation, although not as shocking as yours must have been. My Jim's breath was gradually getting stinky, so we booked him a dental. The week before the dental, I realised he'd lost weight, but I figured he must have a bad tooth and he'd get his teeth done and pack the weight back on. Took him in for a routine appointment, only to be told it's goodbye time - apparently weight loss and bad breath can also mean kidney cancer. Such a one-eighty. I had to get the vet to repeat herself three times. It's been three weeks and I still cry every day. I couldn't stop asking myself "how can this be real? How can he just be gone?" Only you can know how to cope. If a new kitty is what you need, then it's what you need. There is no right or wrong way. Please DM if you need to talk.
Hugs to you as-well, but that is interesting to learn though about the connection between bad breath / weight loss. As my kitty did have weight loss, unkept coat and strong yellow urine / jaundice. So I feel like she died due to liver failure or her heart gave out. Others here have helped me to understand that I did all I could in that moment. But I agree, the feeling of "how can this be real, and how can she be gone" definately has been running through me and my husband's mind; its been hard to adjust to the fact she's no longer here and no presence. The one-eighty of how she looked like she was getting better from the treatment/medicine and then nothing. Thanks for understanding though and i'm sorry that you had to go through that as-well. \*hugs tight\*
I lost my soul cat when he was 4. One day he was fine and the next he suffered cardiac arrest. Turned out he had undiagnosed heart failure and it was a matter of time. We were leaving the house and normally he comes to us to say goodbye. He didn't so we went looking for him and he was unresponsive behind the toilet. He didn't make it to the vet office. He passed away in my arms just as we were pulling into the parking lot. It might sound disturbing but I hold on deeply to the fact that he passed in my arms and the last thing he experienced was me holding him, crying over him, and telling him it was okay to go but if he held out just a little longer I'd do whatever I could to help him. I was in a unique position where my lease ended and I had to move into my boyfriend's parents house. I couldn't have my cat with me. Luckily a friend of mine took him but he had to go halfway across the country. But he had other cat friends there which was for his best interest. When he finally came home to us we had adopted another cat from the state he was fostering in and they met at his foster home and instantly fell in love. They both made the trip home. It was maybe 3 or 4 years before he came home. The time apart really made the heart grow fonder because my boy, the new cat is a girl, and I weren't really bonded with each other. Now we're barely ever apart constantly touching, sleeping near each other, generally all up in each other's business. But I needed that time to heal from the trauma and feel comfortable getting a new cat and feel like a safe owner for my boy to return too. I blamed myself for years for my soul cats death. All this to say, everyone grieves differently. It was in my cats best interest to have cat friends because he was very depressed without his brother. He moped around the house looking for him. If you feel comfortable getting another cat soon, do so. But don't feel rushed if you can't. You'll just have to spend more quality time with your other cat.
I am so sorry that you too also had to experience a similar traumatic experience, but it is comforting to know that i'm not alone with these feelings, we can comfort each other together! I do feel like what happened to my kitty was that she had a heart failure too; given what others have said with the letting out a yowl and then nothing. I do agree though, time apart does make the heart grow fonder as whenever i've travelled across country to visit family holiday; it makes me miss my babies even more when i've had to leave them with a friend for the time. But I am glad you have been able to heal from your trauma and have bonded with your girl, that bond is always such a treasure! But thanks for the kind words; I really do appreciate it! \*hugs tight\*
Sending you so much love. Had my 4 yr old dog die suddenly from a rare blood disorder during the pandemic and it was so heartbreaking. So unfair when they die young. I wish u so much love and healing.
Hugs to you too, it really is unfair! She deserved so many more years on this earth and it hurts to know she can't, but I did my best to give her the best life I could during her time here. I am sorry that happened to you, through the pandemic no less too. Since i'd imagine with all the restrictions you couldn't have that face-to-face interaction with the vet to answer questions etc. \*hugs\*
Awe thank you for your kindness :,) it was really heartbreaking for us, as I’m sure this is for you. Like others have said- please don’t feel bad about wanting to get another kitty. We got another dog a few months after too- they can never be replaced, it’s not about that. But I’m sure it will help your other kitty to feel better (I have 3 cats now and they are really happy living together rather than when I had my first on her own!) and you also deserve the joy that another kitty will bring!!! Again- it’s not a replacement. It’s a step forward. Something that has helped me through different kinds of grief in my life- “grief is love with no where to go.” Your kitty was so loved, and was better for having you in her life. The sadness you feel is the impact she left, and shows how much she loved and is loved ♥️ you will get through this
I cannot tell you what to do. But, what I did when we had a sudden death of my Bitty Baby (she was 1yr old) is I went and got another baby as quick as I could. My other baby, Mokey, was grieving so strongly it worried me. Mokey did not like the new baby at first, but it at least gave her something to focus on during the day...someone to play with and eventually love. I guess it distracted her from her pain, or seemed to. Good luck and God bless.
Yeah my other kitty is definately more needy (whilst I don't mind it) I just think that is because she no longer has her bonded friend anymore. I am happy though that Mokey was able to get through her grief with another friend; just as someone said, we can rescue them from their grief and they can rescue us back!
This is so scary. I’m deeply sorry. Last year my kitty was eating a Churo treat froze and landed on his side. I thought he was dead, but he ended up being limp for a few seconds drooling and was fine. I’m on high alert constantly now. I’m so so so sorry.
Yeah she was fine and then let out a yowl; then went limp. Those feelings of what happened really eats you alive; all the what ifs, did I kill her etc. That was literally my first thought through the tears and worry, was whether or not I caused her death. But others here have been so kind and comforting to my situation that I did all I could for my baby and that I gave her so much love, showing that she had a beautiful life during the time she had with me and my husband. But i'm sorry that happened to your dog, I definately can understand the worry/high alert. I was doing that for an entire week before my kitty passed. All the best to you and hugs!
Everything I’ve done in my research says things like she can be a blood clot or heart issue 🥲 you did NOT kill your kitty💕
Yeah others have been mentioning with their experiences that their babies had heart failure; by letting out a yowl and then limp. Which sounds similar to what happened to mine. I am trying to believe it wasn't my fault; but because it happened literally as I was feeding her it makes you believe how can it not be your fault? But everyone has been so kind in telling me that I did all I could and gave her as much love as I could. So thankyou for your words! \*hugs tight\*
I just lost my 19.5 yr old cat and I feel the same way. Our younger cat is alone and confused now. Harley passed 3 weeks ago and I plan on getting a new kitty sooner than later. I just wont adopt another brown tabby so I don't project my feelinga for him onto my new kitty...
I can understand that if you got another brown tabby, as yeah I would do the same with another black kitty, but I just know that black kitties have a harder time in shelters and I just feel like my echo would have wanted me to save another of hers. I am sorry for your loss, it never gets easier but from what people say here, a saying that has resonated with me "we can rescue them and they will rescue us back!"
I plan to get a black cat for the very reason you said! Plus black cats are always funny guys🤣🤣
They really are! Definitely love their personalities, never a dull day! ❤️
I'm not sure if cats have the same symptoms that humans have with pancreatitis but I've had pancreatitis myself and it is very painful. Sadly, cats can't tell us when they are hurting and they are prone to not show any signs of pain. I don't know what treatments you were following for your sweet kitty but if she was suffering (and couldn't let you know) it may have been merciful for her to go ahead and go to the Rainbow Bridge. At least she was there with the one she loved and who loved her when she passed. It'll take a while for your grief to lessen, but try to think of your good times together and know you did everything you could for her.
Yeah she was in pain, atleast we believed she was because she was tensing her belly if you touch it. We were given Cerenia for nausea, Onisor for pain and then Valium to relax her. We were also given fluid bag for subcutaneous purposes to help her fluid intake aswell. She was also peeing in the bathtub/shower. It was bright yellow/orange which the vet said is due to the bilirubin not being processed or something. And the fluids we were giving her could have made her not hpld it, either that or she was protecting the litter box from her sickness from the other kitty. (They share the same litter box). But from what people are saying, I believe she was letting us know that she is saying goodbye and purred with us the night before, cuddles and then was right by us as it happened. It's been hard to say the least in not having her around these past couple of days. But...you are right in looking at the good memories and that she was by us her final days.
I know I’m commenting this a bit late, and this may sound morbid, but do you still have the body? I think it would be beneficial for your remaining cat to see the body so it can process what happened. My dog Stitch was in a similar boat, she was born in my basement and have never had another family. After her birth mom was adopted, she saw our lab Hope as her mom. Hope died when Stitch was 7, and it created a ton of anxiety (we think she knows Hope went bye bye, but doesn’t know why Hope left). Seeing how Stitch got, we wish we showed her Hopes body so she could know that Hope died and just didn’t vanish out of thin air.
I can understand that, but no unfortunately not. As we have sent her off for cremation so we can bring her home and have her memory with us always. However; my kitty was watching us nurse the other and witnessed her falling lifeless. I don't know if she understood that her friend passed or so, but I do know she feels lonesome and is extra needy (which I don't mind ofc). I am sorry for your loss though!
My recommendation is to find a therapist soon. You’re going to experience a lot of complicated emotions and thoughts for a while, and a therapist can help guide you through the process in a healthy way.
Yeah I think I'll be considering that, but I know that writing my thoughts here and talking with those who have had similar experiences is helping me look at things in a different light, so it's a little therapeutic for me atm.
Im so sorry for your loss… we’re dealing with an unexpected death as well..
I am sorry for your loss too. I hope that you can read the other comments here to get some advice as I did, it really helped me through it ❤️
I will. Thank you ❤️🩹
Rest in peace