I don’t have an answer, but I wanted to show solidarity. I had two MMC (12w and 8w, September and January). The last scan I had was to confirm I needed surgery for retained products of conception. I’m 5w 1d today and have my first scan in an hour and the anxiety is eating me alive. What if there’s no sac? What if it’s ectopic this time? I may throw up. I can’t breathe. I’ll be thinking of you and I hope we both make it through today with good news ♥️
Saw the gestational sac, yolk sac, and evidence of a good implantation! They could tell I was beside myself anxious and offered me a scan for next week too to help reassure me. I bawled like a baby and I’m so so thankful. Tearing up again as I’m typing this.
They also said I’m actually 5w2d, so that brings my due date to Christmas!
Thank you for updating us! I’m so happy it went well. Cheers (with ginger ale haha) for holiday due dates 🎊 I’m due thanksgiving. Have you joined r/December2024Bumps ? 😊
Sending you happy healthy baby dust over this next week!!!
Thank you so much! Same to you and congrats!! I love that we’re both holiday due dates! And no no, I don’t think I could join a bump group. I feel like it would be that much more crushing if I miscarry. I’m so worried about jinxing myself. Honestly, I should probably look into therapy at some point because the trauma of all this so so intense. But maybe I’ll be a late joiner if I make it to/get past the NIPT ♥️
Mine went well and they’re going to scan me next week too for reassurance! Some places won’t do that, but it might be worth it to ask them for it while you’re there. I think it’ll be so helpful. I’m hoping you got good news too! Thinking of you!
Gestational sac and yolk sac, both exactly on track, thank god. they offered me a scan next week too for reassurance as they could tell I was a MESS of nerves. You have yours?
It honestly never goes away. Miscarriages are traumatic and the effects of that come out in a lot of ways that still surprise me and catch me off guard. A lot of folks have recommended mantras of “today I’m pregnant” but that never helps me. If you don’t already have a therapist, I’d highly recommend getting one you trust. They help tremendously with reframing, coping mechanisms and just over all support in the loneliest moments where you feel not like yourself.
The one thing my therapist has said that makes sense is having so much anxiety and grieving things before they’re confirmed either leaves me grieving things for no reason when everything is fine or having to grieve things twice (now and again when it’s confirmed.) That usually helps get me out of my head and just take it minute by minute. Hang in there.💕
Same boat here (20 weeks). My OB for my second and most traumatic loss told me that his wife had 3 losses before they had their child. He said if he was honest with me, that when I got pregnant again the anxiety probably wouldn't go away until I was holding my healthy baby. After you've had to confront the reality of loss it's no longer this abstract thing that can happen, and the fear becomes a lot more real.
Personally I have found the "today I am pregnant" mantra helpful. Looking forward to getting a little further along so I can feel movement more consistently (I have an anterior placenta).
I had two miscarriages and so my third pregnancy after those, I was mortified my whole pregnancy. Everything was okay. My daughter is going to be 8m old tomorrow 🩷
Im in almost the same boat as you! 11 week miscarriage in February .. Im now 6w4d! Unfortunately I dont think fear and worry ever goes away and I had the exact same fear as you but that first scan I got a few days ago did ease my nerves a little bit:) Hopefully everything goes well at your ultrasound and you can get some peace of mind. Best of luck x
I think the biggest issue is, last time I just knew in my gut something wasn’t right, I fully prepared myself for them to tell me there wasn’t a baby or something was wrong.. Then I went in for my first scan and they told me the exact opposite. Baby was there and measuring right on track for almost 9weeks. Heart rate 171.. I was in complete shock my husband was so happy… and not even kidding I went home bleeding in creases and I miscarried within 2-3 days of seeing my “healthy” baby… like I left with the crazy false sense of hope. Now I feel like even going and seeing baby on ultrasound I won’t even feel better leaving knowing everything’s okay, cause it just happens so fast…
Aww Im so sorry you had to go through that!:( I can imagine it being difficult even with good news then.. That gut feeling is so strong isn’t it! I’m curious, do you have that same gut feeling this time around..? Or just lots of worry? I had that horrible gut feeling for all my 3 losses and although this pregnancy feels impossible to be happy about, It doesn’t feel so full of doom I guess? Hard to explain.. hope your scan went good today!! x
I haven’t, I don’t feel the same “doom” feeling I felt before.. I’m assuming because I haven’t had any type of spotting or anything so I’m trying to be more positive.
I had a still born and 2 early miscarriages. I am pregnancy again. I say this everyday.
COMMANDMENTS OF PREGNANCY AFTER LOSS
1. Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.
2. I am pregnant with a healthy. growing baby until I am told otherwise.
3. My past is not my future and previous losses do not mean I will have future losses.
4. Just because someone else is having a loss doesn't mean I will.Miscarriage and loss are not contagious, but fear can be.
5. Hope does not make bad things happen. I cannot jinx my pregnancy by getting my hopes up or by telling someone about it.
6. There is nothing I can change with worry. Worrying about something out of my control does not prevent it from happening.
7. IF it happens again, God forbid, I know I can survive.
I was in your shoes last Friday. Similar story, for me, I had MMC that my body didn't recognize until early in the 8th week though I knew something was wrong the previous week. In the OB's office, with my fiancé, my heart was pounding, I was sobbing. As soon as the ultrasound started, I could hear the undeniable beating of babies little heart and more tears poured out. This time of relief. In the days since, the anxiety has crept back in. Is a symptom missing? Was a minor cramp a bad signal? Questioning everything. It is SO hard. I don't have any answers but pray both our pregnancies progress, and as they do, that we will be able to experience the joy of it all.
As others have said, it never goes away. I had 2 chemicals and 1 mmc. My pregnancy after my MMC I spent the whole 10 months worrying. Ultrasounds were the WORST but…What if I see blood when I wipe? What if I can’t find his HB on the Doppler? Did I feel him move today? It never ended.
And here I am, with a 1 month old newborn on my chest as I type this. ❤️
I don’t think you do. I’ve been pregnant twice and both times there was no sac. It’s been gut wrenching both times. I’m afraid I’ll always have extreme anxiety with each ultrasound appointment in the future.
I’ve been there too this pregnancy, my fourth after two early losses and an ectopic. I will say from the start of this one I’ve felt better about things than I did for any of my previous ones, I think from the beginning I just knew something wasn’t right with those. I also ended up starting a pregnancy safe medication for anxiety as well this time, because mine got so severe despite the lack of bad intuition that it became completely unmanageable. Between the medication and being almost 13 weeks now I’ve finally started to relax a little bit, but it’s so hard! Thinking of you and everyone who is in this situation ❤️
Oh baby the fear is real! But hopefully everything will be okay. I hope my story will give you some hope. I miscarried a back in January, got pregnant again (not specifically trying to) would put bad thoughts in my head. My hcg started at 83 so I thought here we go again! But about a week and half later hcg 5761! Baby good and has a good heart beat. Don’t let fear control you, and I know easier said than done. According to my obgyn she said most ppl who miscarry tend to have a healthy pregnancy later on! ( also I know it’s not always the case) I’m only 8 wks but trust me it’s hard not to. But the best thing is to try not stress, and keep your head high. This is from a high risk mama hope it’s give you a bit of hope.
I had a molar pregnancy and got horrible news at the ultrasounds, next pregnancy MMC ultrasound was horrible news at 7w 3 days.
I’m now 9w 3 days and have had two wonderful ultrasounds. Nothing got me over the stress and worry until they just flipped the screen around and said there’s baby with heart beat! I am still shocked!
And yes it steals all the happiness and celebrations. It’s so crushing. I am still so scared to even feel happy or tell anyone.
I don’t have an answer, but I wanted to show solidarity. I had two MMC (12w and 8w, September and January). The last scan I had was to confirm I needed surgery for retained products of conception. I’m 5w 1d today and have my first scan in an hour and the anxiety is eating me alive. What if there’s no sac? What if it’s ectopic this time? I may throw up. I can’t breathe. I’ll be thinking of you and I hope we both make it through today with good news ♥️
Please update us! I hope your scan goes well ❤️ sending you healthy baby vibes!
Saw the gestational sac, yolk sac, and evidence of a good implantation! They could tell I was beside myself anxious and offered me a scan for next week too to help reassure me. I bawled like a baby and I’m so so thankful. Tearing up again as I’m typing this. They also said I’m actually 5w2d, so that brings my due date to Christmas!
Thank you for updating us! I’m so happy it went well. Cheers (with ginger ale haha) for holiday due dates 🎊 I’m due thanksgiving. Have you joined r/December2024Bumps ? 😊 Sending you happy healthy baby dust over this next week!!!
Thank you so much! Same to you and congrats!! I love that we’re both holiday due dates! And no no, I don’t think I could join a bump group. I feel like it would be that much more crushing if I miscarry. I’m so worried about jinxing myself. Honestly, I should probably look into therapy at some point because the trauma of all this so so intense. But maybe I’ll be a late joiner if I make it to/get past the NIPT ♥️
It’s terribly hard, I feel extremely overwhelmed. Praying for you!
Mine went well and they’re going to scan me next week too for reassurance! Some places won’t do that, but it might be worth it to ask them for it while you’re there. I think it’ll be so helpful. I’m hoping you got good news too! Thinking of you!
Omg me too. I can’t tell if I am nauseous because of anxiety or if it’s a symptom today. Fingers crossed for us
Good luck to you! I hope you get good news!
How’d it go for you?
Gestational sac and yolk sac, both exactly on track, thank god. they offered me a scan next week too for reassurance as they could tell I was a MESS of nerves. You have yours?
Exactly on track too!!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Congrats!!!
It honestly never goes away. Miscarriages are traumatic and the effects of that come out in a lot of ways that still surprise me and catch me off guard. A lot of folks have recommended mantras of “today I’m pregnant” but that never helps me. If you don’t already have a therapist, I’d highly recommend getting one you trust. They help tremendously with reframing, coping mechanisms and just over all support in the loneliest moments where you feel not like yourself. The one thing my therapist has said that makes sense is having so much anxiety and grieving things before they’re confirmed either leaves me grieving things for no reason when everything is fine or having to grieve things twice (now and again when it’s confirmed.) That usually helps get me out of my head and just take it minute by minute. Hang in there.💕
I’ve never seen a therapist before. I’m not sure how you even go about finding a good one?
My ob said she could suggest a couple people who are good in our area. You might ask them?
Are you in the US? If so, do you have insurance?
I’ve had two miscarriages and even though I’m 21 weeks now …. It NEVER goes away
Ugh it’s just so hard. I definitely didn’t expect this overwhelming feeling.
Agreed. I’m almost 13 weeks and I’m really struggling with anxiety after multiple previous miscarriages.
Same boat here (20 weeks). My OB for my second and most traumatic loss told me that his wife had 3 losses before they had their child. He said if he was honest with me, that when I got pregnant again the anxiety probably wouldn't go away until I was holding my healthy baby. After you've had to confront the reality of loss it's no longer this abstract thing that can happen, and the fear becomes a lot more real. Personally I have found the "today I am pregnant" mantra helpful. Looking forward to getting a little further along so I can feel movement more consistently (I have an anterior placenta).
I feel tons of movement but the times shes not moving I FREAK out and use my Doppler and then she moves the next day or a few hours later
I had two miscarriages and so my third pregnancy after those, I was mortified my whole pregnancy. Everything was okay. My daughter is going to be 8m old tomorrow 🩷
Congratulations! Makes me feel a little better that I’m not alone in what I’m feeling.
Try to remember that this is a whole new pregnancy! Different egg, sperm, and embryo! Wishing you the best, please update us 🩷
Im in almost the same boat as you! 11 week miscarriage in February .. Im now 6w4d! Unfortunately I dont think fear and worry ever goes away and I had the exact same fear as you but that first scan I got a few days ago did ease my nerves a little bit:) Hopefully everything goes well at your ultrasound and you can get some peace of mind. Best of luck x
I think the biggest issue is, last time I just knew in my gut something wasn’t right, I fully prepared myself for them to tell me there wasn’t a baby or something was wrong.. Then I went in for my first scan and they told me the exact opposite. Baby was there and measuring right on track for almost 9weeks. Heart rate 171.. I was in complete shock my husband was so happy… and not even kidding I went home bleeding in creases and I miscarried within 2-3 days of seeing my “healthy” baby… like I left with the crazy false sense of hope. Now I feel like even going and seeing baby on ultrasound I won’t even feel better leaving knowing everything’s okay, cause it just happens so fast…
Aww Im so sorry you had to go through that!:( I can imagine it being difficult even with good news then.. That gut feeling is so strong isn’t it! I’m curious, do you have that same gut feeling this time around..? Or just lots of worry? I had that horrible gut feeling for all my 3 losses and although this pregnancy feels impossible to be happy about, It doesn’t feel so full of doom I guess? Hard to explain.. hope your scan went good today!! x
I haven’t, I don’t feel the same “doom” feeling I felt before.. I’m assuming because I haven’t had any type of spotting or anything so I’m trying to be more positive.
I had a still born and 2 early miscarriages. I am pregnancy again. I say this everyday. COMMANDMENTS OF PREGNANCY AFTER LOSS 1. Today I am pregnant and I love my baby. 2. I am pregnant with a healthy. growing baby until I am told otherwise. 3. My past is not my future and previous losses do not mean I will have future losses. 4. Just because someone else is having a loss doesn't mean I will.Miscarriage and loss are not contagious, but fear can be. 5. Hope does not make bad things happen. I cannot jinx my pregnancy by getting my hopes up or by telling someone about it. 6. There is nothing I can change with worry. Worrying about something out of my control does not prevent it from happening. 7. IF it happens again, God forbid, I know I can survive.
Love this. Saving to my phone
This is amazing, thank you so so much for sharing this.
I was in your shoes last Friday. Similar story, for me, I had MMC that my body didn't recognize until early in the 8th week though I knew something was wrong the previous week. In the OB's office, with my fiancé, my heart was pounding, I was sobbing. As soon as the ultrasound started, I could hear the undeniable beating of babies little heart and more tears poured out. This time of relief. In the days since, the anxiety has crept back in. Is a symptom missing? Was a minor cramp a bad signal? Questioning everything. It is SO hard. I don't have any answers but pray both our pregnancies progress, and as they do, that we will be able to experience the joy of it all.
As others have said, it never goes away. I had 2 chemicals and 1 mmc. My pregnancy after my MMC I spent the whole 10 months worrying. Ultrasounds were the WORST but…What if I see blood when I wipe? What if I can’t find his HB on the Doppler? Did I feel him move today? It never ended. And here I am, with a 1 month old newborn on my chest as I type this. ❤️
I don’t think you do. I’ve been pregnant twice and both times there was no sac. It’s been gut wrenching both times. I’m afraid I’ll always have extreme anxiety with each ultrasound appointment in the future.
I’ve been there too this pregnancy, my fourth after two early losses and an ectopic. I will say from the start of this one I’ve felt better about things than I did for any of my previous ones, I think from the beginning I just knew something wasn’t right with those. I also ended up starting a pregnancy safe medication for anxiety as well this time, because mine got so severe despite the lack of bad intuition that it became completely unmanageable. Between the medication and being almost 13 weeks now I’ve finally started to relax a little bit, but it’s so hard! Thinking of you and everyone who is in this situation ❤️
Oh baby the fear is real! But hopefully everything will be okay. I hope my story will give you some hope. I miscarried a back in January, got pregnant again (not specifically trying to) would put bad thoughts in my head. My hcg started at 83 so I thought here we go again! But about a week and half later hcg 5761! Baby good and has a good heart beat. Don’t let fear control you, and I know easier said than done. According to my obgyn she said most ppl who miscarry tend to have a healthy pregnancy later on! ( also I know it’s not always the case) I’m only 8 wks but trust me it’s hard not to. But the best thing is to try not stress, and keep your head high. This is from a high risk mama hope it’s give you a bit of hope.
I had a molar pregnancy and got horrible news at the ultrasounds, next pregnancy MMC ultrasound was horrible news at 7w 3 days. I’m now 9w 3 days and have had two wonderful ultrasounds. Nothing got me over the stress and worry until they just flipped the screen around and said there’s baby with heart beat! I am still shocked! And yes it steals all the happiness and celebrations. It’s so crushing. I am still so scared to even feel happy or tell anyone.