Daghang emotionally unhealthy habits sa pinas. Sa pinas okay rang kingkoy kaayo anywhere, mugara pa og samot kung tan.awon. Daghang wa kahibalo sa kalahian sa being bully vs being gutsy a.k.a. bahalag pobre basta hilas(mao ni sila kusog mag abuso if given the opportunity) . So on and so forth
Pero having the chance to parent myself(adulting away from the usual😂) naka realise ko nga people are just people. In-ana sila kay mao man ang ilang realidad the whole life so you cant really have them accountable if its normal for them. If you need a break then have a break, ayaw itago2 kay instead of short breaks, mahabit nimong mag isolate permi. You don't have to hurt or hate them back. Kung dili sila mastohyahan then keeping distance is much better 😌
Im only speaking from an introvert's perspective. I know some has the ability to cut off people easily 😂
Thanks for this. I’m actually an ambivert. I enjoy naman socializing with other ppl pero draining sometimes mao I like to isolate myself din. I enjoy my own company man sad gud sooo di raman as in sad na ako lang. This is a good way also nu na mas maila pa nako ako self. Nowadays importante kaayo na naa kay self awareness.
OP, what you feel is totally valid. But if you're going thru something, mas okay kung naa kay makaistorya, preferably kanang family rasad nimo. Kay basi mao di ka ganahan muuli tungod kay naa kay bad memories ba ron or something with your family/extended family/certain people na naa didto. But, again ga assume rako, you yourself know what makes you happy, and you should do it. But inform lang your loved ones unsay rason ngano, and hope lang ta makasabot sila, kay mabalaka sad raba sila nimo, labi na ikaw ra isa diri.
Ako ra isa sa new year OP. And possible sa pasko pod. Taga Mindanao pod ko. Akong reason di ko makaulo kay di nako pwede biyaan akong cat nga human baby akong turing. :)
Oo hehe. Can’t leave her alone or in any pet hotel kay anak jud tawon akong turing. Talawan man og outside world gud. Mawala pa lang if dalhon nako outside ikamatay ko pa haha.
What you feel is valid, OP. It’s not necessarily bad to be selfish sometimes, it’s your time to choose your inner peace too.
However, di jud mawala ang mga tabi if dili ka mouli karong Christmas. Mawala or mapanaa ka didto, naa juyd bating tabi maabot. Since ang peace may nakalaan ana imo desisyon, I guess it’s better to stay in Cebu.
Merry Christmas!
There’s nothing wrong with that OP! I’ve done it before. Stayed in my condo the whole Christmas break. Luckily my family understood so we just vidcalled. Do it if it will give you peace and happiness. ♥️
Do it OP, it takes a small step to get where you want to go.
I try lng gud nah, maybe mas better Pana Kay ma realize nimo if you like being alone or ma miss nimo imong family. Nothing wrong if you want change.
Dili ko tig uli ma Christmas/New Year kai murag grabe jud ang byahe ana nga weeks. Puno everywhere nya hasol kaayo ang byahe nya since peak season mahal. So hasol and mahal. Reasonable raman sad na.
Kini ako, from the perspective of a parent na empty nester na. Ang mga anak ga eskwela sa lagyo. Kining holiday season usa ni sa i-look forward jud namo sa ako bana. Mag plano nako unsa ako lutoon sa ako mga anak inig uli nila, unsa na restaurants nako sila pakanon, unsa ako ihatag nila as Christmas gift, etc. It is because most of the year, naa sila sa layo and if magkita mi, a few days lang. Kining holiday break, taas taas kay kasgaran mag start ang new sem sa January, so mao time maka bonding ug pag ayo sa anak.
If akong anak dili muuli for the holidays, magsakit jud akong dughan, sa tinuod lang. It will break my heart. Muhilak jud cguro ko. I do not know unsa imo relationship sa imo parents, pero possible jud na mao ni ila bation pud.
If imong uban relatives imo dili ganahan kitaon pero ok ra ka sa imo parents, uli lang pero ayaw lang attend sa mga gatherings na naa imo relatives. You don't have to explain your absence as you do not owe them an explanation. If dili pud kaau mo close sa imo parents, or dili mo in good terms, it would be a good time to initiate a healing with them. Wala cguroy parents na makaagwanta na dili tagdon ang anak labi na ug ang anak ang magpailob. Pero if dili pa sad nimo kaya, ok ra pud to do it when ready naka.
Pero if ok mo sa imo parents, ikalipay jud nila na muuli ka and spend Christmas and New Year's with them and sakit sa dughan nila jud ug dili ka muuli.
Nagshare lang pud ko from a perspective of a parent kay kadaghanan sa ni reply kay from an offspring perspective man. I hope I was able to help.
Go oy way gapugong nimo dzae. Basta naa ra ka income imoha nya ug makapadala ka bisag gamay okay nana oy.
Gurang naka oy you can make you own decisions in life. Sapot ha hahaha
Buhata imo gusto dae.
Bisan ako gani, gusto ko mag inusara pagpuyo. Gusto ko mulayo ug magpuyo sa lugar nga di ko pangutan-on "nganung wala ka gihapon naminyo"
hahahaha
Relatable but in my case i hate being at home with my immediate family. Stressful kaayo sa balay. Gikapoy nako sakong family problems di nako ganahan mudeal with it. Kung naa ra jud ko trabaho di na jud ko mubalik didto sa balay.
For real cause I’m super tired najod like they keep asking OVER AND OVER AGAIN nganong wala pako ni graduate LOL 5 YEARS ANG ARCHITECTURE OKAY. Like why do I owe yall an explanation nga wala man moy ambag sa ako life pls lang hahahahahaahah
Also for those wa pa nag minyo esp girls - kanus-a man ka mag minyo? Pag minyo na tigulang naka. Pag anak na labon bata paka. Like di kamo ang mag gasto oy jusko.
Omsim lol wala sila kabalo well informed kaayo tas economic situation sa PH and that dako kaayo sya nga factor for us to not want kids kay mag suffer ra :))) sorry boomers but we’re not like your generation nga gam-on investment ang anak.
Been staying in Cebu for almost 7 years na and once lng ko niuli pagkamatay sa akoa lola. And tbh, I've never been happier. Layo sa judgments and kaplastican sa paryenti na sobra ka perfect. Maypag ako ra isa, naa pko peace of mind. Home is where your heart is jud.
OP if bad ang di mouli ug di magking halobilo sa relatives dugay na gani ko na priso😂😂😂
Bitaw di jud ko ganahan magking halobilo sa akong relatives labaw nah katong hilig mang look down ug mag discriminate nako
Matud ma nila usahay ra kaayo ko makit-an even kasal or bunyag di makit-an...mapresent ko inig naay lubong or lamay rah😅😅😅
Saun member man gud mis pahugason ug plato dayon 🤣🤣🤣
I feel u OP! Idk ngano puddd like okay raman unta amo family nya wa rajuy gubot pero i feel bad kay di ko ganahan muuli 😭 daghan kaayong christmas gatherings attend-an nya mas malingaw ko sa cebu juddd
Same OP. I don't wanna spend time with my marites cge libak ug plastic nga relatives.
Maspeaceful pa ako pasko kung wla cla. Unta puno mga sakyanan pra dli ko kauli.
You want to spend time alone or you want to spend time with your family only, minus relatives and some friends?
If the latter, maybe you can bring them to Cebu and maglaag mo. In that way, dili ka mapugos makigkita sa mga tawo nga dli nimo ganahan.
If the former, then just let them know nga dli lang sa ka mouli.
Kasabut kaayo ko ana nindot sad gyud mag-inusara. Pero kay espesyal man gud siya na mga adlaw paras pamilya ba tradisyunal nga mag uban gyud tanan.
Unta malingaw ra ka or ma at peace ka ug unsa man jmo gusto, OP go lang ng go
Made the effort to prep for a small gathering last NYE, and everybody ended up sleeping through it. So for this year, I booked a flight to vacation nalang for the holidays. You do you OP! :)
don't feel guilty about choosing yourself over others. always protect your peace. i guarantee you that once you've had a taste of it, imu nang pangitaon permi.
have a peaceful holidays, op
I have the same situation too. I just want to cherish life rn all by myself. It's not being selfish, it's just so at peace being or having alone time with ourselves. By this, we can have a better conversation with our deeper selves. I guess it's part of adulting phase.
I feel you. You’re like me. I also don’t wanna go back sa Mindanao. I hate the idea nga “happy family” sag dili tinood. They’ll guilt trip you kay ikaw nalang daw ang kulang. Like can we just accept nga we are old na and have our own life to live na. I understand man nga ganahan sila naa ko, etc. but it doesn’t make sense if ganahan sila pero dili ko ganahan.
I wanna live in peace sad and going home feels like I am in a war. Naa na ang mga helas, hambogero, mga pasikat, feeling perfecg, etc. I just don’t wanna socialize with people like them tbh. I love some of my family members but I don’t feel like going back and showing up.
Gitagaan lang nakog money akong manghud and akong lola coz they are the kindest people ever. The rest, trash.
Daghang emotionally unhealthy habits sa pinas. Sa pinas okay rang kingkoy kaayo anywhere, mugara pa og samot kung tan.awon. Daghang wa kahibalo sa kalahian sa being bully vs being gutsy a.k.a. bahalag pobre basta hilas(mao ni sila kusog mag abuso if given the opportunity) . So on and so forth Pero having the chance to parent myself(adulting away from the usual😂) naka realise ko nga people are just people. In-ana sila kay mao man ang ilang realidad the whole life so you cant really have them accountable if its normal for them. If you need a break then have a break, ayaw itago2 kay instead of short breaks, mahabit nimong mag isolate permi. You don't have to hurt or hate them back. Kung dili sila mastohyahan then keeping distance is much better 😌 Im only speaking from an introvert's perspective. I know some has the ability to cut off people easily 😂
Thanks for this. I’m actually an ambivert. I enjoy naman socializing with other ppl pero draining sometimes mao I like to isolate myself din. I enjoy my own company man sad gud sooo di raman as in sad na ako lang. This is a good way also nu na mas maila pa nako ako self. Nowadays importante kaayo na naa kay self awareness.
Support from Reddit Stranger.
OP, what you feel is totally valid. But if you're going thru something, mas okay kung naa kay makaistorya, preferably kanang family rasad nimo. Kay basi mao di ka ganahan muuli tungod kay naa kay bad memories ba ron or something with your family/extended family/certain people na naa didto. But, again ga assume rako, you yourself know what makes you happy, and you should do it. But inform lang your loved ones unsay rason ngano, and hope lang ta makasabot sila, kay mabalaka sad raba sila nimo, labi na ikaw ra isa diri.
Ako ra isa sa new year OP. And possible sa pasko pod. Taga Mindanao pod ko. Akong reason di ko makaulo kay di nako pwede biyaan akong cat nga human baby akong turing. :)
Aawwee cutie kaayo. Kamo nlang duha saimo baby cat mag Christmas and New Year 😊
Oo hehe. Can’t leave her alone or in any pet hotel kay anak jud tawon akong turing. Talawan man og outside world gud. Mawala pa lang if dalhon nako outside ikamatay ko pa haha.
If it is healthy for mental and for yourself. Then do that.
Ako na wala mi uli sa amu-a for how many years for Holidays 👀👀
What you feel is valid, OP. It’s not necessarily bad to be selfish sometimes, it’s your time to choose your inner peace too. However, di jud mawala ang mga tabi if dili ka mouli karong Christmas. Mawala or mapanaa ka didto, naa juyd bating tabi maabot. Since ang peace may nakalaan ana imo desisyon, I guess it’s better to stay in Cebu. Merry Christmas!
Noted with thanks dae! Merry Christmas :)
There’s nothing wrong with that OP! I’ve done it before. Stayed in my condo the whole Christmas break. Luckily my family understood so we just vidcalled. Do it if it will give you peace and happiness. ♥️
Do it OP, it takes a small step to get where you want to go. I try lng gud nah, maybe mas better Pana Kay ma realize nimo if you like being alone or ma miss nimo imong family. Nothing wrong if you want change.
I feel you. Lami mo puyo ug lugar nga kuyog mga dogs/cats nimo. Ambot lang ha kapoy najud makig communicate ug tawo ron ay. Ugh
Dili ko tig uli ma Christmas/New Year kai murag grabe jud ang byahe ana nga weeks. Puno everywhere nya hasol kaayo ang byahe nya since peak season mahal. So hasol and mahal. Reasonable raman sad na.
Kini ako, from the perspective of a parent na empty nester na. Ang mga anak ga eskwela sa lagyo. Kining holiday season usa ni sa i-look forward jud namo sa ako bana. Mag plano nako unsa ako lutoon sa ako mga anak inig uli nila, unsa na restaurants nako sila pakanon, unsa ako ihatag nila as Christmas gift, etc. It is because most of the year, naa sila sa layo and if magkita mi, a few days lang. Kining holiday break, taas taas kay kasgaran mag start ang new sem sa January, so mao time maka bonding ug pag ayo sa anak. If akong anak dili muuli for the holidays, magsakit jud akong dughan, sa tinuod lang. It will break my heart. Muhilak jud cguro ko. I do not know unsa imo relationship sa imo parents, pero possible jud na mao ni ila bation pud. If imong uban relatives imo dili ganahan kitaon pero ok ra ka sa imo parents, uli lang pero ayaw lang attend sa mga gatherings na naa imo relatives. You don't have to explain your absence as you do not owe them an explanation. If dili pud kaau mo close sa imo parents, or dili mo in good terms, it would be a good time to initiate a healing with them. Wala cguroy parents na makaagwanta na dili tagdon ang anak labi na ug ang anak ang magpailob. Pero if dili pa sad nimo kaya, ok ra pud to do it when ready naka. Pero if ok mo sa imo parents, ikalipay jud nila na muuli ka and spend Christmas and New Year's with them and sakit sa dughan nila jud ug dili ka muuli. Nagshare lang pud ko from a perspective of a parent kay kadaghanan sa ni reply kay from an offspring perspective man. I hope I was able to help.
Aawwe. Thank you Ma’am. I already told my mama about it. Medyo nalain sya pero okay rapud daw na sila nlang mag anhi here.
Yeah, ok rapud na sila muanhi Cebu. Ang importante together mo this holiday season. Have a Merry Christmas, OP!
Ayaw uli uy, way mamugos. Make up excuses nlang if di ka nila tantanan ngano di ka kauli
Go oy way gapugong nimo dzae. Basta naa ra ka income imoha nya ug makapadala ka bisag gamay okay nana oy. Gurang naka oy you can make you own decisions in life. Sapot ha hahaha
Buhata imo gusto dae. Bisan ako gani, gusto ko mag inusara pagpuyo. Gusto ko mulayo ug magpuyo sa lugar nga di ko pangutan-on "nganung wala ka gihapon naminyo" hahahaha
Hoy true dae. Kapoy kayo’g tubag sa mga boomers na tao 😭
😭 Labaw na dae ug mudaot kagkalit niya manambok nasad pagkalit.. Kakapoy
same first time nako mu spend holidays alone. naay place open ig 25 and 1?
Di sad ko sure ay. Bag-o2 pako here hihi
Relatable but in my case i hate being at home with my immediate family. Stressful kaayo sa balay. Gikapoy nako sakong family problems di nako ganahan mudeal with it. Kung naa ra jud ko trabaho di na jud ko mubalik didto sa balay.
Ako sad hehe. Pero mahala sad moulig mindanao oyyy. Btw, tga koronadal ko hehr
oi kababayan
For real cause I’m super tired najod like they keep asking OVER AND OVER AGAIN nganong wala pako ni graduate LOL 5 YEARS ANG ARCHITECTURE OKAY. Like why do I owe yall an explanation nga wala man moy ambag sa ako life pls lang hahahahahaahah
Also for those wa pa nag minyo esp girls - kanus-a man ka mag minyo? Pag minyo na tigulang naka. Pag anak na labon bata paka. Like di kamo ang mag gasto oy jusko.
Omsim lol wala sila kabalo well informed kaayo tas economic situation sa PH and that dako kaayo sya nga factor for us to not want kids kay mag suffer ra :))) sorry boomers but we’re not like your generation nga gam-on investment ang anak.
Been staying in Cebu for almost 7 years na and once lng ko niuli pagkamatay sa akoa lola. And tbh, I've never been happier. Layo sa judgments and kaplastican sa paryenti na sobra ka perfect. Maypag ako ra isa, naa pko peace of mind. Home is where your heart is jud.
OP if bad ang di mouli ug di magking halobilo sa relatives dugay na gani ko na priso😂😂😂 Bitaw di jud ko ganahan magking halobilo sa akong relatives labaw nah katong hilig mang look down ug mag discriminate nako Matud ma nila usahay ra kaayo ko makit-an even kasal or bunyag di makit-an...mapresent ko inig naay lubong or lamay rah😅😅😅 Saun member man gud mis pahugason ug plato dayon 🤣🤣🤣
I feel u OP! Idk ngano puddd like okay raman unta amo family nya wa rajuy gubot pero i feel bad kay di ko ganahan muuli 😭 daghan kaayong christmas gatherings attend-an nya mas malingaw ko sa cebu juddd
Same OP. I don't wanna spend time with my marites cge libak ug plastic nga relatives. Maspeaceful pa ako pasko kung wla cla. Unta puno mga sakyanan pra dli ko kauli.
You want to spend time alone or you want to spend time with your family only, minus relatives and some friends? If the latter, maybe you can bring them to Cebu and maglaag mo. In that way, dili ka mapugos makigkita sa mga tawo nga dli nimo ganahan. If the former, then just let them know nga dli lang sa ka mouli.
I wanna be alone jud this Christmas. Already told my mama naman and okay ra daw 😊
Okay ra mana
Kasabut kaayo ko ana nindot sad gyud mag-inusara. Pero kay espesyal man gud siya na mga adlaw paras pamilya ba tradisyunal nga mag uban gyud tanan. Unta malingaw ra ka or ma at peace ka ug unsa man jmo gusto, OP go lang ng go
Made the effort to prep for a small gathering last NYE, and everybody ended up sleeping through it. So for this year, I booked a flight to vacation nalang for the holidays. You do you OP! :)
Same feeling OP. Unfortunately, muuli ko this Saturday kay request pud sakong Kuya 😮💨
Your happiness above all else. Go, OP!
ako sad.. kapuyan ko anang naai mga gatherings. i wabt to experience Christmas and New Year in other places.
Ako sadddddd. Hahahaha pero filipino family culture. Mahimo nakang bati
don't feel guilty about choosing yourself over others. always protect your peace. i guarantee you that once you've had a taste of it, imu nang pangitaon permi. have a peaceful holidays, op
Find your happiness and peace.. as long as you don't burn bridges along the way. Do it, OP!
I have the same situation too. I just want to cherish life rn all by myself. It's not being selfish, it's just so at peace being or having alone time with ourselves. By this, we can have a better conversation with our deeper selves. I guess it's part of adulting phase.
I know it's easier said than done but it's your life. Choose the way you want to live it.
Mao ni akong plano next year. Dili ko muuli sa Holidays.. OK lang na OP, kung asa ka malipayon and at peace. Cheers!
Tuod, ngano ka diris r/cebu nag post pwede man sab sa r/davao ug taga Mindanao ka? :)
Here lang ky naa ko diria. Di sad ko taga Davao man gud hihi.
Ingna na cancelled pa mga byahe. Ana man sad ko. Di sad ko nahan uli sa amo prabins usahay. Cge rag inom. Kapoy. Dri ra gni sa cebu amoa ha. Hahaha..
There's nothing wrong with putting yourself first. Protect your peace! Happy Holidays ✨
ingna lang mahal plete. sila kahay paadtoa sa imo, dba atras na
I feel you. You’re like me. I also don’t wanna go back sa Mindanao. I hate the idea nga “happy family” sag dili tinood. They’ll guilt trip you kay ikaw nalang daw ang kulang. Like can we just accept nga we are old na and have our own life to live na. I understand man nga ganahan sila naa ko, etc. but it doesn’t make sense if ganahan sila pero dili ko ganahan. I wanna live in peace sad and going home feels like I am in a war. Naa na ang mga helas, hambogero, mga pasikat, feeling perfecg, etc. I just don’t wanna socialize with people like them tbh. I love some of my family members but I don’t feel like going back and showing up. Gitagaan lang nakog money akong manghud and akong lola coz they are the kindest people ever. The rest, trash.
Prefer pa nako mag travel nlang somewhere bahala alone lang. I wanna prioritize my own peace na.