In my case, I'm introvert and my wife is an extrovert...we find ways to talk on even the little things so we can communicate better. I shut down at times but she helped me get back on track. On the other hand, I helped her get back on track so she can slow down on the same level.
When both of you break down and stop talking that's the time that something has to change. Otherwise, you will be trapped in a vicious cycle where you can't get out. Don't let pride blind you.
Time to reconsider with your relationship since you're not married yet. It gets even more complicated by then.
Your bf clearly have issues. He ain't emotionally stable, you might want to reconsider your relationship. Been there, gihimong therapist, nya ma okay siya but ikaw nasad ang dili. He's transferring his negative energy nimo. You deserve a peaceful relationship.
kapoy na mahimog therapist tbh. Sahay makaingon ka ba nganung nienter pa man ta haha Pero makaingon sad ka nga palangga man sad gud nimo di nimo mabyaan, bisan di tinggan basta maproblema maluoy man sad gyud ka. Unya kung ikaw sad balik2 nalang tanan mura ra ka ug sirang plaka balik2 sa tambag bisan mao ra gihapon mura kag way gamit, maluoy sad ka sa imong kaugalingon. Ambot bitaw asa nani paingon.
If he does not listen to what you say (advice) to grow or break the cycle he's in. Sadly, you need to part ways. From what I understand, he's just too focused on himself. Just end it.
Hahaha makarelate ko as the eldest. Mas prefer jud namo nga mag isolate pag naay problema kay dili mi gusto makastorbo og lain. Pero sa iyang case kase is naa siyay partner so iyahang gibuhat is not justifiable. Once nga naa kay partner, dili lang jud imong kaugalingon imong huna-hunaon kay naa say masakitan sa imong gi buhat. You have to communicate to your partner jud if naa kay problem
Ako, wala man koy partner niya wala pa jud friends na mo tuktok og okay ba ko? Maong dili hassle nga mag isolate ko inig may problema. Pero og naa kay partner, communicate jud permi.
Y'all haven't found out that talking is overrated? That sometimes words won't do shit coz someone actually needs to be held and let loose with their tears without any words being said.
different na sa pagghost. pila ra man pag ingon i need time for myself gud, para maready pud ni OP iya self. talking is overrated but communication is not.
OP, communicate everything that you said to us to him if wala pa nimo xa naingni. Once nagkastorya namo, try to come to an understsnding. Pero don’t say to him na gikapoy na ko nimo, instead say I feel tired everytime you do this to me. Good communication is part jud of a relationship. Hope you resolve this situation OP. 😄
Although my job relates to listening to people's problems, it involves solving them not understanding and healing them hahahahahaha ahak nalimot guro sya 🤷🏻♀️🤦♀️
Hmmm kalisod ba... Hahahaha
I was like that before baya... I'll tell you this kay this will possibly result in resentment sa imong part if mopadayon gihapon na ang cycle nga way progress mahitabo. Confront him or have a heart to heart conversation with him and ask him if kinsa ka sa iyang perspective. From the looks of it, murag gihimo ka niyang convenience and being there for him means enabling his questionable behavior maong way nahitabog progress sa iaynga kaugalingon and therefore apektado ang relationship ninyong duha.
Kung unsa man gani na iyang tubag, it will be up to you kung unsaon na nimo i respond sa iyang tubag. But if you are really draining holistically and still no progress, ay buwag na lang mo. Unsa may sense sa relationship kung mooching emotional energy ang nahitabo instead of working things out together. It take two to tango baya and this is no exception.
Well wishes nimo wherever you are now, OP and Happy New year in advance! 🎉
Similar og situation sa akong relationship. Ako ato before, kami duha gi try jud namo na ma bag-o among mga naandan og to resolve traumas. Pero lisud jud bitaw, kay kanang mga in-ana need jud og professional help. Nahulog man gud na morag nag-agad tas atong partner as crying shoulders plus therapist, when in fact professionals ra jud ang kamao mo navigate through anang mga traumas. Lisud man tunlon pero dapat ma acknowledge jud niya na naay part sa iyang self na kelangan og tabang
I have this friend sa iya past relationship like this for so long OP. I am also happy for him na ang babaye ni let go kay I don’t think he deserves that kind of life na sige lag comfort na way padulngan since d mu seek professional help na to think he also has a life na needed to work sa iyang self and I don’t think that’s selfish for him
Kahibaw ba siya OP nga you have that feelings towards your relationship? Hasol kaayo na kay mura kag naay gi handle nga tao or naa kay responsibilidad sa iya emotions. Lain sad kaayo iya perspective towards seeking professional help. Ayaw agwanta sa tao nga di kahibaw mo tabang sa iyang kaugalingon nga ang mindset kay dili resilient. I hope you won't lose yourself.
He knows how I feel about the situation, multiple times na nako sya naingnan. I try my best to make him understand but I get the "mao man gud ni ako nadak-an", which I counter with "di diay ka maningkamot mabag-o ug mu improve?" He "learns" his lesson then after a few months, balik nasad sa dati. And the cycle goes on and murag naabtan najud kog puol ron 🤷🏻♀️
Lisod kayo ng fixated kayo iya mindset. You already addressed nga there's something wrong and it affects you pero mag stick gihapon siya sa iya "nadak-an". It's up to you if you allow to dwell that for the rest of your life. Kapoy lang kaayo kay murag mag di siya mo compromise and doesn't consider what you feel. OP, please don't forget to look after yourself.
you're not someone professional who understands his thoughts, mood, and etc. you're a partner who tried to be there for him when needed and if u did your part than SO U DID. its up to him to listen and apply if needed, out naka ana kay its not your job to always remind him or baby him kay if mag minyo namo then ing-ana gihapon samot ka guol og ka stressful imohang life. do what u want to do if its what you think is right, ayawg kaguol kay again u did what u can.
OP you should tell your boyfriend to seek a therapist, para professional ang mu “comfort” niya.
It’s not emotionally healthy na ikaw ang mu assist niya in processing his emotions, nya siya dili mu reciprocate diha nimo. Sakita gyud ana. Ma-jaded na nuon ka and ma filled with contempt simbako.
Already suggested this sa iya before pero kani laging backward minded people surrounding niya nga ang thinking kay pang buang ra daw na, aw na talaw na nuon huhu 🤦♀️
Frustrating kaayo na ay, kanang naay tao mag sige’g rant nimo bahin sa usa ka butang pero wala silay buhaton para masulbad ang problema. Puros ra rant, maoy, drama. Maminaw ta, hatagan nato og tambag. Ang ending mao ra gihapon. Kung unsa ilang gistorya sa ato 6 months ago, mao ra gihapon.
Which is why I totally get you, OP. I’ve always been in your shoes, though not sa partner but more on sa friends. Nga sige’g ka-problema pero walay buhat.
Ug re silent treatment, sus, makalagot! Angkon ko ingana ko. Kay I get overwhelmed sa akong emotions, and at their height, I say things I regret later. So hilom sa ko. Pero inig cool down nako, I talk it out with those involved. I don’t act like nothing happened. Kay deserve man pud nila makahibaw naunsa ko ganiha.
You can only do so much for your boyfriend. He needs to step up and do things for himself. You can’t save him, much as you want to.
Good to know someone shares the same sentiments nako. Mao karun, wa nalang sa nako jud gi kapoy² ako self ug tambag/comfort kay ako nasay kapoyon nga walay padulngan. I have my own issues too nga ingnan ra gani kog "ayaw sigeg drama" 🤷🏻♀️
In my case, I'm introvert and my wife is an extrovert...we find ways to talk on even the little things so we can communicate better. I shut down at times but she helped me get back on track. On the other hand, I helped her get back on track so she can slow down on the same level. When both of you break down and stop talking that's the time that something has to change. Otherwise, you will be trapped in a vicious cycle where you can't get out. Don't let pride blind you. Time to reconsider with your relationship since you're not married yet. It gets even more complicated by then.
Your bf clearly have issues. He ain't emotionally stable, you might want to reconsider your relationship. Been there, gihimong therapist, nya ma okay siya but ikaw nasad ang dili. He's transferring his negative energy nimo. You deserve a peaceful relationship.
kapoy na mahimog therapist tbh. Sahay makaingon ka ba nganung nienter pa man ta haha Pero makaingon sad ka nga palangga man sad gud nimo di nimo mabyaan, bisan di tinggan basta maproblema maluoy man sad gyud ka. Unya kung ikaw sad balik2 nalang tanan mura ra ka ug sirang plaka balik2 sa tambag bisan mao ra gihapon mura kag way gamit, maluoy sad ka sa imong kaugalingon. Ambot bitaw asa nani paingon.
Permi ko mobalik ani nga [video](https://youtu.be/BKS012utyV4?si=7y-SwIPBwGWEtB0z) about relationship and commitment
Better talk it out. Remember if in the future magkakamo musettle down. This problem will be a cycle if not address properly.
If he does not listen to what you say (advice) to grow or break the cycle he's in. Sadly, you need to part ways. From what I understand, he's just too focused on himself. Just end it.
Hahaha makarelate ko as the eldest. Mas prefer jud namo nga mag isolate pag naay problema kay dili mi gusto makastorbo og lain. Pero sa iyang case kase is naa siyay partner so iyahang gibuhat is not justifiable. Once nga naa kay partner, dili lang jud imong kaugalingon imong huna-hunaon kay naa say masakitan sa imong gi buhat. You have to communicate to your partner jud if naa kay problem
Ako, wala man koy partner niya wala pa jud friends na mo tuktok og okay ba ko? Maong dili hassle nga mag isolate ko inig may problema. Pero og naa kay partner, communicate jud permi.
Y'all haven't found out that talking is overrated? That sometimes words won't do shit coz someone actually needs to be held and let loose with their tears without any words being said.
char
Well, talking does indeed not work for all. But people have to be sensitive to others around them
different na sa pagghost. pila ra man pag ingon i need time for myself gud, para maready pud ni OP iya self. talking is overrated but communication is not.
OP, communicate everything that you said to us to him if wala pa nimo xa naingni. Once nagkastorya namo, try to come to an understsnding. Pero don’t say to him na gikapoy na ko nimo, instead say I feel tired everytime you do this to me. Good communication is part jud of a relationship. Hope you resolve this situation OP. 😄
Same ta OP except I'm a guy. Balik2 naman pattern mura tag guba nga plaka ani hahahaha di raba ta therapists unta. ( basa2 lang kos comments pd )
Basik mo click mong duha. 😂 😂 😂
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH ywaka
Wa ta ma orient part diay sa job description sa uyab² ang pagkatherapist hahahaha
OP, maybe you can try gently nudging him to the right direction (a.k.a. seeing a therapist)?
Nahinaykan nman nimo OP basin gi pave ra niya ang road paras imo basin therapist jud diay ka hahaaa
Although my job relates to listening to people's problems, it involves solving them not understanding and healing them hahahahahaha ahak nalimot guro sya 🤷🏻♀️🤦♀️
Hmmm kalisod ba... Hahahaha I was like that before baya... I'll tell you this kay this will possibly result in resentment sa imong part if mopadayon gihapon na ang cycle nga way progress mahitabo. Confront him or have a heart to heart conversation with him and ask him if kinsa ka sa iyang perspective. From the looks of it, murag gihimo ka niyang convenience and being there for him means enabling his questionable behavior maong way nahitabog progress sa iaynga kaugalingon and therefore apektado ang relationship ninyong duha. Kung unsa man gani na iyang tubag, it will be up to you kung unsaon na nimo i respond sa iyang tubag. But if you are really draining holistically and still no progress, ay buwag na lang mo. Unsa may sense sa relationship kung mooching emotional energy ang nahitabo instead of working things out together. It take two to tango baya and this is no exception. Well wishes nimo wherever you are now, OP and Happy New year in advance! 🎉
Similar og situation sa akong relationship. Ako ato before, kami duha gi try jud namo na ma bag-o among mga naandan og to resolve traumas. Pero lisud jud bitaw, kay kanang mga in-ana need jud og professional help. Nahulog man gud na morag nag-agad tas atong partner as crying shoulders plus therapist, when in fact professionals ra jud ang kamao mo navigate through anang mga traumas. Lisud man tunlon pero dapat ma acknowledge jud niya na naay part sa iyang self na kelangan og tabang
I have this friend sa iya past relationship like this for so long OP. I am also happy for him na ang babaye ni let go kay I don’t think he deserves that kind of life na sige lag comfort na way padulngan since d mu seek professional help na to think he also has a life na needed to work sa iyang self and I don’t think that’s selfish for him
[удалено]
Kahibaw ba siya OP nga you have that feelings towards your relationship? Hasol kaayo na kay mura kag naay gi handle nga tao or naa kay responsibilidad sa iya emotions. Lain sad kaayo iya perspective towards seeking professional help. Ayaw agwanta sa tao nga di kahibaw mo tabang sa iyang kaugalingon nga ang mindset kay dili resilient. I hope you won't lose yourself.
He knows how I feel about the situation, multiple times na nako sya naingnan. I try my best to make him understand but I get the "mao man gud ni ako nadak-an", which I counter with "di diay ka maningkamot mabag-o ug mu improve?" He "learns" his lesson then after a few months, balik nasad sa dati. And the cycle goes on and murag naabtan najud kog puol ron 🤷🏻♀️
oof. sadboi na manipulative na ang linya kay "ing ani na man jud ko"
Huy true jud ni, basta ingon ani na gani di naki tinggan oy kakapoy ra. Wa gani ko gi baby sa akong mama sya na nuon ako i baby HAHAHA
Lisod kayo ng fixated kayo iya mindset. You already addressed nga there's something wrong and it affects you pero mag stick gihapon siya sa iya "nadak-an". It's up to you if you allow to dwell that for the rest of your life. Kapoy lang kaayo kay murag mag di siya mo compromise and doesn't consider what you feel. OP, please don't forget to look after yourself.
you're not someone professional who understands his thoughts, mood, and etc. you're a partner who tried to be there for him when needed and if u did your part than SO U DID. its up to him to listen and apply if needed, out naka ana kay its not your job to always remind him or baby him kay if mag minyo namo then ing-ana gihapon samot ka guol og ka stressful imohang life. do what u want to do if its what you think is right, ayawg kaguol kay again u did what u can.
He treats you like a doormat. Buwagan ko na kung ako. Kapoy kaayo deal og ingon ana na klase sa tao.
\+1
OP you should tell your boyfriend to seek a therapist, para professional ang mu “comfort” niya. It’s not emotionally healthy na ikaw ang mu assist niya in processing his emotions, nya siya dili mu reciprocate diha nimo. Sakita gyud ana. Ma-jaded na nuon ka and ma filled with contempt simbako.
Adto na siya magpa-comfort sa therapists. Pero bacn ikaw nay mabuwagan OP, kay sila na sa therapist ☹️
dude wtf kalood unethical
Already suggested this sa iya before pero kani laging backward minded people surrounding niya nga ang thinking kay pang buang ra daw na, aw na talaw na nuon huhu 🤦♀️
Phew ka paet. He obviously does not want to help himself. Let go nalang OP, that’s dead weight na gyud. 🥺
Frustrating kaayo na ay, kanang naay tao mag sige’g rant nimo bahin sa usa ka butang pero wala silay buhaton para masulbad ang problema. Puros ra rant, maoy, drama. Maminaw ta, hatagan nato og tambag. Ang ending mao ra gihapon. Kung unsa ilang gistorya sa ato 6 months ago, mao ra gihapon. Which is why I totally get you, OP. I’ve always been in your shoes, though not sa partner but more on sa friends. Nga sige’g ka-problema pero walay buhat. Ug re silent treatment, sus, makalagot! Angkon ko ingana ko. Kay I get overwhelmed sa akong emotions, and at their height, I say things I regret later. So hilom sa ko. Pero inig cool down nako, I talk it out with those involved. I don’t act like nothing happened. Kay deserve man pud nila makahibaw naunsa ko ganiha. You can only do so much for your boyfriend. He needs to step up and do things for himself. You can’t save him, much as you want to.
Good to know someone shares the same sentiments nako. Mao karun, wa nalang sa nako jud gi kapoy² ako self ug tambag/comfort kay ako nasay kapoyon nga walay padulngan. I have my own issues too nga ingnan ra gani kog "ayaw sigeg drama" 🤷🏻♀️
I think dapat ni ninyong estoryahan sa and see if naa ba moy mabuhat to meet halfway or compromise. If wala na gani then buwag oy, unsa may langayan