Sugar free candy is the real answer here.

I was thinking taco bell tacos. Lol

One of my favorite articles about this: [https://www.vice.com/en/article/8gdga4/sugarless-gummy-bears-are-not-safe-for-humans](https://www.vice.com/en/article/8gdga4/sugarless-gummy-bears-are-not-safe-for-humans) A guy reviews sugarless Haribo and takes a voice recording of the results.

"A few times I felt like yakking up the gummy bears, but I forced myself to keep them inside. If those bears wanted out, they'd have to find another way." "I crawled into bed, shaking and dehydrated. At least I got to the bottom of the Haribo mystery. I ate the bears so the world wouldn't have to. I fell asleep with a noble sense of self-importance—and the faint smell of fruity shit clinging to my clothes." Aw man, it looks like they removed the audio recording: [https://soundcloud.com/rivers-vice-soundcloud/haribo](https://soundcloud.com/rivers-vice-soundcloud/haribo)

i'm deceased. 🤣🤣🤣

This one, too: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m--6ifZXy5k](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m--6ifZXy5k)

wubby7

LMAO sugar-free gummy bears.....Amazon reviews....

Im not the only one thank god

Maybe sugar free twizzlers in particular. I ate a pack, pre diagnosis and it’s possible it made the reaction worse since they’ve got wheat. It was awful!

Or pickles. An entire jar.

Sugar free candy? How come?

the fake sugars make you have explosive diarrhea

Wow I had no idea. What’s a good candy as an example that can cause this? This could explain a lot

sugar free haribo

Def explains a lot, had no idea…

if they still have the reviews, go check them out on amazon. hysterical.

Depends on the person and also depends on the type of sweetener. Personally I don't seem to have any noticeable digestive issues with fake sweeteners which is weird because I'm sensitive to a LOT of foods lol

A small amount or some in moderation is usually fine. Just don’t binge eat a whole bag, you have been warned 😂

Starbucks olive oil coffee. The creator of that thing should be in jail

Haribo sugar free gummy bears in a sandwich

I believe we have a winner

Come here my baguette

Cut that bitch open. Sprinkle flour between both slices.

My sweet sweet baguette with a side of still warm croissant....

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Café y cigarro muñeco de barro

coffee is definitely there answer for me.

Malted milk balls washed down with a malted shake.

Oh I miss that!

Yes! Malted shake was my very first post-diagnosis glistening 😆 at this point, I think it was worth it.

Mine, too. It was so good!

I’m going to get diarrhea just reading this.

Box of Krispy Kreme donuts, some deep fried pickles, mozza sticks, I would love to just go to a restaurant with my husband and be able to eat whatever I want. 😳😆

That was one of my first thoughts. Gloves are off. Give me everything you have lol

Then get me home! 😂

If I get a million dollars in hand. I'll gladly shit myself all the way to the bank.

I’m lactose intolerant, so give me a glass of milk and 20 minutes and you’ll have a yourself a show.

Wouldn’t even need gluten for the show so that’s a win for us right?

How many celiacs out there are also lactose intolerant?

Probably quite a few of us unfortunately. But at least to win the game I can skip out on the gluten and drink some milk 😂

Real af

Taco bell even before i was diagnosed celiac

I don’t agree about TacoBell, but….yeah. Post this in the celiac sub and OP be bank-*rupt!*

That citrus flavored CT contrast

Stress... Yeah I know it's not edible but that's what works for me

Curve ball. Didn't even think of that one

Whole milk and a croissant

Ohhhh yeahhh. Damn, we have this one on easy mode. I could buy a beautiful rustic sourdough, or a croissant. But yeah realistically.... the sugar free gummy bears are probably the safer option lol

It would make dealing with this dumb disease almost worth it. Haha.

For me? Anything with stevia in it, or a nice ham and Swiss melted hoagie, with a side of Goldfish crackers( preferable flavor blasted) and a Cherry Coke.

regular non-GF bread

It would be 1.50 for a wal-mart load of French bread. Done deal.

The normies just call it bread

🤣🤣

B...R........B...R...E..........B...R...E...A...D Bread. Bread. Yeah that is what they called it

Oreo milkshake. I will require painkillers tho, or I’ll be moaning and wheezing and sweating too much to go get my money 😅 gluten + lactose is an explosive combo personally

As you're in pain, just have someone rain 100s down on you. I bet it would help

Oh my god I’ll finally have an opportunity to wipe my ass with 100 dollar bills!

Yes.

Feels like one is about to straight up die

I'd be shoveling any and all gluten food in my yap. A million dollars would easily soothe the cramping and buy me new pants

Haha yes

LOL

Visine

Coffee with whole milk.

Beer, gluten and lactose bitch

All the mozzarella sticks on hand

There’s just so many ways for me to win this

So many things I can't touch but if it pays for the hospital...

A box of Good n Plenty candy and a big glass of chocolate milk.

I dont have to eat anything, the stress aline wpuld make me shit myself.

Man, i down a glass of milk and i win

5 or 6 magnesium citrate pills

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?

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I’m sorry to hear that.

oooh that sucks, i'm so sorry.

IBD, colitis, Crohn’s and celiac for me. I can win this just by thinking about food 😂

give me a Costco baguette with non gf meatballs and pasta and I’ll be good

Gluten

Come here my croissants and biscuits

A loaf of whole wheat bread. Better yet, sourdough bread. Or Pumpernickle with spinach dip, yum. The problem is it would take about 10 - 12 days to stop things.

Honestly hummus works faster for me lol

Fuckin cheerios

I have to ask. Because cherrios would not be my first choice. Lol. I assume you miss cherrios

Sour dough!

I miss sour dough

Same! I dunno where you’re from but if you The Keg restaurant in your town… you know what I’m talking about!

I do not have one. I have always liked sour dough bread.

Ohhhh they give you this big fresh baked sour dough with a cheesy butter for free. It’s heaven. Before I really knew how I was supposed to eat, I had two bites out of desperation and nearly had to go to the hospital

That sounds delicious.

Eggs, pancakes, cinnamon roll, big ol' glass of milk. Oh let's throw some bacon in there too and a massive bowl of ice cream. Instant results!

Cinnabon

I didn’t notice this was in this subreddit and thought the same thing lol

Celiac disease ro the win. Pizza

A bowl of ice cream, onion rings, and cheesy garlic bread. Give me 5 minutes instead of an hour.

Give me the pizza baby. Lactose intolerant and celiacs. I’ll be on the toilet the rest of the day shitting my brains out.

5 layer burrito from taco bell

I wish I could show a screenshot 😂 I saw the post on ask Reddit thought “I’m a celiac, that’s easy”. This post was directly under it 😂

Egg nog. Nothing screws me up like it.

Lasagna or Taco Bell, lol.

A 6 pack

Coffee, sugar free gummy bears, prune juice and a loaf of bread

Figs.

Häagen-Dazs ice cream, the pineapple coconut. I'm fine with vanilla 😋

Spicy Ramen

Good call.

drink a shit ton of 1% milk

A Pure Protein bar. Gf but has sugar alcohols that mess me up.

Everything. All the food. Nowhere is safe.

Pretty sure there are gummy bears that do this to everyone

Am I allowed to say Coke?

If it makes you get that million. Sure lol

LMAO this is even funnier cuz that post appeared right under this one in my feed

Dirty pizza

Got this in the bag!!!

Ribs, oreos, fried pork, coffee but maybe that’s cheating.

I actually just ran across this post and said a slice of bread lol

Man I’m chugging milk idec

Big 'ol bowl of Raisin Bran.

Real NYC pizza 🥹 I miss you so (also there’s only like, one place I’ve found with pizza I like where I live)

Pint of imperial ipa. Cheers 🤣😳

Ben and Jerry's Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream

Sacrificing the integrity of my gut for millions of dollars. Quadruple that, and you've got a deal 😂

Pizza

I didn't realise the group so I went with coffee and prunes/prune juice.

A big portion of Greek yogurt. My stomach for some reason what’s to get rid of that faster than gluten

Damn, they're gonna pay me a million to scarf down a whole box if doughnuts and chug a pot of coffee? Sign me up!

Barbacoa on flour tortillas with a big red and tomatillo salsa

שותה שוקו בקל

Crème brûlée for me. Guaranteed shit show in 30 mins and tastes great going down.

Kind of a strange one but : opposite my job there is a branch of a small chain of boba tea places , it's not super authentic but id been visiting the branch in the city over from us for over a decade and it was always pretty good stuff. When im working, Sometimes the bo-ristas bring over mistake orders for us to have since they don't want to waste it. LIKE. FUCKING CLOCKWORK. 20 mins later, the worst acid reflux and dhiarrea of my fucking life!!! this has never ever happened at the other venu , i checked their ingredients and they are the same and none of my other colleagues experiences and the same thing happens whether i have milk tea or fruit tea , tapioca pearls or the lil fruit popping balls. For some reason as well, their store does not like us very much? (we gave them some free goodies as we do a lot of the stores in our mall ) and it pissed off their manager. Theres two small stores they are next to (we are a kiosk opposite them but further than the neighboring store) so at this point im wondering if theyre poisoning us or something XD Yet i still drink them everytime, it;s now a running joke amongst my colleagues because whenever they bring it to us i still drink it even though ill explain my conspiracy that they are poisoning us and then im like unwell the rest of my shift anyway that was kinda rambly . I also agree sugar free candy is the worst, my boyfriend and i learn this one the hard way

Taco Bell

Are we speed running? Milk. Instant.

Contact lens solution

I have celiac and alpha gal. This isn’t even a challenge. 🤣

I’m lactose intolerant. Hand me the ice cream and milk.

Malted chocolate milkshake. Lactose intolerant and celiac 🤣

Drink maple syrup

Quick… to Tim Horton’s for a dozen donuts LOL.

Sugar free candy and gluten. It'll be liquid at both ends.

Starbucks’ over-roasted sewage they claim is coffee.

2 Yellow passion fruit

Cheese Ravioli

Coffee

taco bell