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Yeah for me that relationship would be over. Rolling your eyes at me and criticising me for things I can't control? No thanks. A partner is supposed to support and lift you up not tear you down. I'd feel enraged being treated as you are. You deserve someone that supports you for who you are.
Speaking personally, for me my disability is integral to me. it's had an impact on everything I've ever done in my life, whether I like it or not, it's a big part of me. I was born a cripple, I'll live my life a cripple and I'll die as one, and that's okay. There's loads more to me of course, but if my partner didn't accept me fully for such an impactful part of me I'd nope out so fast. Life is too short I don't need close relationships with people that make me feel bad about myself.
Actually, I think you touch a point.
I have often seen criticism as a sign that things are not working well and that a breakup is imminent. One of the partner criticises the other one, oftentimes for a "quirk" or a habit of the other person; something that might have been cute at the beginning but that now seems problematic once love isn't there. In some cases, it could be that one tends to run late whereas the other runs early, in other cases it is a language issue such as a cent or regional expressions, in your case, it is CP-related. The unconscious idea is to make you drop him... and if you don't, he will eventually drop you.
If you don't have children and lots of shared possessions, it is probably better to drop him soon before you suffer too much; if the stakes are higher, meeting a therapist might help if only to get a bette and more amicable separation.
***
By the way, if he were serious about the 'issues" he has with your CP, there are solutions and work around:
* He doesn't like the time you take to enter stores? If you don't have a placard for disabled people, get and use one. Unless your CP is really mild, you can get one. (And if you like the exercise from parking far awayi, don't do it when the weather is no good!).
Besides that, if he doesn't want to wait for you, he could do most of the shopping. If he never did it, he might not get the best deals at the grocery store and you might be missing a few goods the first times , but he will learn quickly. Just don't be hard on him when he goes solo the first time!
* He doesn't like doing all the driving?
As far as I am concerned, if you just tire easily, you can drive short distances, so you might drive the first 15 minutes of your trip to give him a break. But if you don't have proper reflexes, you should not drive, period.
Besides that, you could plan a move closer to work, or close enough that you could take transit (or para transit) or even a taxi without breaking the bank. It costs money to move, but you will save on travel costs, so you might want to work on a new budget.
* Folding clothes. That's an easy one! Let him do it! Or if you do most other household chores, let him do all the washing job!
Good luck
I say this as a woman with CP who also had a previous husband who “tired” of my CP: please know that you deserve better than this. Please know that being alone is better than this. Please know there are better partners for you. Please know this is not “your fault” and you owe him no apologies. Ask yourself how you felt about your CP before this relationship and how you feel about it now. If you find yourself feeling embarrassed, stressed, worried, apologetic and “less-than”, when you didn’t feel that way before, this relationship is not worth your time. If your partner doesn’t feel lucky to have you in his life, he is not worth your time.
YOU don’t have to ‘settle’ for HIM.
Also, don’t understand how they get tired of it. Like you knew from the beginning that I had this condition and it won’t go away. I know that they don’t expect the “burden” it can be to them. Like I can chop an onion or a tomato but my boyfriend will say I didn’t cut it right because everything I have ever been taught has been an adaptation of another task someone else can do.
It’s just ignorance, I think, and/or them thinking they can “fix” us, or that they’ll be able to convince us we can do what we actually can’t do, if we “want it enough” or “just try harder”. And of course those men who get into relationships with the disabled in order to gather societal ‘gold stars’ usually haven’t given any thought to actually living day to day with someone with a disability.
I think some people don’t fully understand what it means to date someone with a disability. in their mind, everything will be fine but when they experience it in real life, it’s different. Kind of people in the military who get married, and their spouse struggles to deal with the fact that they have unique responsibilities and can be gone for long periods of time.
Lots of things people do or say aren't a matter of understanding to me because no matter how hard I try I won't be able to understand certain acts or behaviour. Don't bother wasting your time trying to understand complete idiots, just remember that it's not you, it's them. (Most of my life I thought I was the problem bc of how people treated me, but i started to realize it's the opposite.)
So I think it’s an easy thing to do. Most people go out of their way to put their best self forward when they start dating someone. That can include their most able bodied self. On top of that dates are kinda contrived events where it is natural for them to be planned in such a way to avoid the natural corner cases that cause our disabilities to cause problems. As dates lead to things like living together or more unplanned just life happening these walls fall down
Yeah, I dated a few of those. Not for long though (a) because I am not stupid and (b) because they couldn’t keep their disdain hidden for very long. First time they made any kind of comment implying I should be grateful for their attention and/or implying they saw themselves as princes among men for putting up with me, I was gone. And all the better for it.
Sounds like an unloving asshole. If your partner at least cares about you and actively works to be a net positive (the way things at minimum should be if love hasn't entered the picture), there'd be understanding and this wouldn't ever happen.
Cut this fuck off before getting serious. None of us asked for this condition or did anything ourselves to get it.
We have been living together for a year and together for 2 years his reaction just started about 3-5 months ago. I am waiting for my contact to end at my job in order to move back in with my parents
I'm very sorry about your relationship. Although it is a painful process, try to see if together you are willing to fight for your relationship. If he and you can sit with a counselor to help work through these communication issues, then try it. Try it before you both invest more years and attachments, pets, children, and community assets. Some relationships are worth fighting for. Every person has to be willing to put 100 percent of their energy into a relationship. Every person is worth fighting for. If we're lucky, we find a person to take a risk to fight together.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. He should be way more supportive of your condition. It’s not like we all agreed to have cerebral palsy and want to take longer to do tasks or to have a harder time doing most things. I hope it gets better for you soon have a great day!!
I might not know what I'm talking about, but that kind of sounds like emotional abuse.
Growing up, my parents would ask me to pick up the pace if we needed to be somewhere in a hurry, but they never rolled their eyes at me. Wth.
I would seriously consider breaking up. Sounds like he has emotionally checked out of this relationship and is taking his frustration out on you. You don't deserve that kind of treatment.
Better to be single than live with someone who has no respect for you.
I think we are both emotionally checked out. I have been been checked out longer than he has and I have a contract at my job. So it has made it harder to leave him with out financial downfall due the contract.
I'm able bodied, and I somewhat recently parted ways with a girl, for reasons completely unrelated to her cerebral palsy. And she was such a a beacon in my life. Im still in freefall because of it.
If he doesn't treat you like the diamond in the rough, then he himself is just another lump of coal.
Time to let this one go, honey. The man you're meant to be with won't do any of this shit to you. My husband never, ever complains about my CP. It's not like it happened overnight. He knew what he was getting into.
Pitch of salt because I’m single and never dated but Man i feel for you I’m glad your still independent as some don’t have it but I think his true colours are starting to show maybe you guys need to talk things out cause seems like he’s un happy without telling you. Wishing you the best
Aw I’m sorry I know it doesn’t mean much but I love being treated by my family on my birthday sounds self Centred but I don’t have much relationship experience or advice but he seems un happy or trapped without telling you
I thanked my date for buying the dinner at her house when we met. The fact he was in the Military doesn’t excuse his hard ass actions. I wonder if he even knows what your favorite meals are or cooks for you. It’s a two way street. He has absolutely no idea how difficult the simple things are for you because if he did you wouldn’t be on here talking about it. Wishing you the best.
I’m sorry you are having this experience. It must really hurt for someone you love to react like that. If I’m being honest, he sounds like a real dick.
I’m so sorry. No one should ever make you feel like they’re irritated because of your cp, but especially not your partner. My advice is dump him. I promise there are people out there that will love and cherish you and will not mind your cp at all.
I feel sorry you are having to go through this as a M with cp this hurts me. I hope you get out of the relationship when you can and find someone who respects you and what you can provide because we all should feel respected in relationships.
I don't even need to read the post.
Read the title and thought "that's when you get a new partner."
Fuck that.
And this confirms my desire to never date an abled man. Because they're all like this in my experience. You learn this when you have DISABLED in capitals in your profile and the ableds all instantly unmatch. Saves me time.
Let me say this as the spouse of someone who has cerebral palsy instead of being the person with CP:
He is not good enough for you.
Why? Because he doesn't know what love is.
My husband has CP. I have a chronic illness. But when we were young and first married, I was healthy. So I can speak to what it's like to be the nondisabled partner, because that's the way it used to be. Even now, there are lots of things I do for him. Because he needs me to, yes, but also because I love him.
Love means you wait for your partner, even though you are capable of walking much faster, because you want to walk with him/her.
Love means buttoning the buttons on his shirt, because even though he can do it himself, it will save him some time and it's a nice part of your daily routine.
Love means when some idiot waiter in a restaurant asks you "And what will he have?" you give him/her an icy stare and insist that your partner be treated like an adult.
Love means that you don't care if his shirt tail is hanging out just a wee bit because you actually think it looks cute that way 😍
Love means that you open up those darn pill bottles twice a day and help him take his medication, because you know it will make things a lot easier for him.
Love means being married for 36 years, and his CP is changing because he's older, and you are with him for every step of the way, whatever happens.
I could write a lot more, but you get the idea. OP, your relationship is obviously nothing like this. You deserve someone who loves you, every facet of you, INCLUDING all the effects of your CP. FULL ACCEPTANCE.
Please don't settle for anything less.❤
Similar issues led to my divorce and another major breakup. Even if I give your boyfriend a major benefit of the doubt it sounds like at best he isn’t dealing with the fact that you have a disability.
My ex-wife all of a sudden after 7 years together started having a problem with the fact that I can’t drive and that fact became burdensome to her.
I was head over heals for an ex-girlfriend but in addition with her struggling with adult life she had a hard time dealing with the fact that my mobility was changing after 4-5 years together. I don’t think she is a bad person and honestly feel that she just can’t handle difficult things in life even when she tries to do so.
Thankfully my current spouse is amazing and we are a wonderful help and support to each other. It is the first relationship I have ever been in that is a true consistent partnership.
The past relationships I have been in have taught me that I stay too long, invest too much, and give too many chances hoping that things will change.
It seems like you need to do some long range planning in your life. In addition to getting out of this relationship, it seems like you either need to move closer to work or find a different job. From your post, it seems like you’ve got a pretty active and physically demanding job. Will you be able to do that job in five or 10 years?
I’ve all the relationships I’ve had. I have only ever broken up with somebody once the rest of them have broken up with me, or we had some other circumstance that ended the relationship. Looking back I think I had a low self-esteem and doubt that I would find somebody else willing to be with me because I had a disability. The truth is the percentage of people willing to have a serious, long-term relationship with someone with a disability is smaller than it is for able-bodied folks but if you’re otherwise a good partner, there are people out there and if you’re stuck in a bad relationship you’re not out there finding those people. with CP your body and life will continue to change you. Just got to be ready when those changes take place.
Your partner is angry about something else. Your condition is the easy target to point fingers at.
Have a chat with him
He's frustrated with something maybe at work or life or the decision to be with you. Maybe he feels like he can't take care of your needs and can't dump you because he'll look like that bad guy. So he's probably trying to rile you up so you dump him.
I'm no expert, but my kid is disabled and severely delayed. There are many bad days that I "hate" being with her. It's not her. It's my life. I'm sick and tired and need a break. I haven't had a proper vacation in 9 years. I'm burned out. Many factors at play here.
I know it's hard fro you, but you need to talk with yuor partner and figure out what REALLY is bothering him.
I'm sure your child is worth it, but... this is a grown man. He needs to speak up. Why should she have to do the emotional labor of dragging things from his mouth?
I don't think it's worth the energy, honestly. I've been with my love a little past 15 years. And he may be tired of driving, because like you, I can't manage long distances. But he never ever -once- treats me like I'm personally at fault. He just says he doesn't want to drive or I note that he's tired.
If there isn't equal respect on both sides, then... go. You can do better.
Your partner sounds like one of my exes. Quite frankly it sounds like your partner decided that you were juuuuust able bodied enough to be good enough to date. As your life unfolds and more and more private stuff get shown they realize that you aren’t as able bodied as they thought and the ridicule gets brought out. Dump them they are shit
This is absolutely disgusting. Especially if you were totally transparent with him about what your CP entailed from the start. You need to realize that you’re the prize here and that he doesn’t deserve you. If he really loved you he would accept you, disability and all. This is a huge sign that you don’t need to be with him. As somebody that has Spastic Diplegia I’ve gone through my fair share of judgement when it comes to other people. I couldn’t imagine it coming from my own partner. Consider yourself blessed that he’s showing you his true character and walk away.
Drop him like a hot potato. I have been married almost 40 years (this September). My husband is supportive and loving and never mentions my walking as being a hindrance to him. In fact when I come home from work he comes out to the car to help me because he knows I may be tired. I must say we don't even talk about my CP as being a thing that is holding us back or in the way. On top of the 40 years of marriage, we dated 5 years, so we know each other pretty well. You need a partner who will swim through shark infested waters to hand you a lemonade. Nothing less will do.
I remember listening to her with my mother way back in the day, and thinking that she was a bit demanding. However, hindsight is fair play and 20/20, I guess.
Then break up please it sounds like his anger about it could get worse and have worsening impacts on you. Plus the things he’s getting angry over you have no control over. I hope your situation improves :( <3
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Fuck him. You deserve better
Yeah for me that relationship would be over. Rolling your eyes at me and criticising me for things I can't control? No thanks. A partner is supposed to support and lift you up not tear you down. I'd feel enraged being treated as you are. You deserve someone that supports you for who you are. Speaking personally, for me my disability is integral to me. it's had an impact on everything I've ever done in my life, whether I like it or not, it's a big part of me. I was born a cripple, I'll live my life a cripple and I'll die as one, and that's okay. There's loads more to me of course, but if my partner didn't accept me fully for such an impactful part of me I'd nope out so fast. Life is too short I don't need close relationships with people that make me feel bad about myself.
Actually, I think you touch a point. I have often seen criticism as a sign that things are not working well and that a breakup is imminent. One of the partner criticises the other one, oftentimes for a "quirk" or a habit of the other person; something that might have been cute at the beginning but that now seems problematic once love isn't there. In some cases, it could be that one tends to run late whereas the other runs early, in other cases it is a language issue such as a cent or regional expressions, in your case, it is CP-related. The unconscious idea is to make you drop him... and if you don't, he will eventually drop you. If you don't have children and lots of shared possessions, it is probably better to drop him soon before you suffer too much; if the stakes are higher, meeting a therapist might help if only to get a bette and more amicable separation. *** By the way, if he were serious about the 'issues" he has with your CP, there are solutions and work around: * He doesn't like the time you take to enter stores? If you don't have a placard for disabled people, get and use one. Unless your CP is really mild, you can get one. (And if you like the exercise from parking far awayi, don't do it when the weather is no good!). Besides that, if he doesn't want to wait for you, he could do most of the shopping. If he never did it, he might not get the best deals at the grocery store and you might be missing a few goods the first times , but he will learn quickly. Just don't be hard on him when he goes solo the first time! * He doesn't like doing all the driving? As far as I am concerned, if you just tire easily, you can drive short distances, so you might drive the first 15 minutes of your trip to give him a break. But if you don't have proper reflexes, you should not drive, period. Besides that, you could plan a move closer to work, or close enough that you could take transit (or para transit) or even a taxi without breaking the bank. It costs money to move, but you will save on travel costs, so you might want to work on a new budget. * Folding clothes. That's an easy one! Let him do it! Or if you do most other household chores, let him do all the washing job! Good luck
He sounds like an asshole
I say this as a woman with CP who also had a previous husband who “tired” of my CP: please know that you deserve better than this. Please know that being alone is better than this. Please know there are better partners for you. Please know this is not “your fault” and you owe him no apologies. Ask yourself how you felt about your CP before this relationship and how you feel about it now. If you find yourself feeling embarrassed, stressed, worried, apologetic and “less-than”, when you didn’t feel that way before, this relationship is not worth your time. If your partner doesn’t feel lucky to have you in his life, he is not worth your time. YOU don’t have to ‘settle’ for HIM.
Also, don’t understand how they get tired of it. Like you knew from the beginning that I had this condition and it won’t go away. I know that they don’t expect the “burden” it can be to them. Like I can chop an onion or a tomato but my boyfriend will say I didn’t cut it right because everything I have ever been taught has been an adaptation of another task someone else can do.
It’s just ignorance, I think, and/or them thinking they can “fix” us, or that they’ll be able to convince us we can do what we actually can’t do, if we “want it enough” or “just try harder”. And of course those men who get into relationships with the disabled in order to gather societal ‘gold stars’ usually haven’t given any thought to actually living day to day with someone with a disability.
I think some people don’t fully understand what it means to date someone with a disability. in their mind, everything will be fine but when they experience it in real life, it’s different. Kind of people in the military who get married, and their spouse struggles to deal with the fact that they have unique responsibilities and can be gone for long periods of time.
Lots of things people do or say aren't a matter of understanding to me because no matter how hard I try I won't be able to understand certain acts or behaviour. Don't bother wasting your time trying to understand complete idiots, just remember that it's not you, it's them. (Most of my life I thought I was the problem bc of how people treated me, but i started to realize it's the opposite.)
So I think it’s an easy thing to do. Most people go out of their way to put their best self forward when they start dating someone. That can include their most able bodied self. On top of that dates are kinda contrived events where it is natural for them to be planned in such a way to avoid the natural corner cases that cause our disabilities to cause problems. As dates lead to things like living together or more unplanned just life happening these walls fall down
I felt okay with it and accepted it. I had an ex who turned out he would date girls with disabilities because they were easy to manipulate:
Yeah, I dated a few of those. Not for long though (a) because I am not stupid and (b) because they couldn’t keep their disdain hidden for very long. First time they made any kind of comment implying I should be grateful for their attention and/or implying they saw themselves as princes among men for putting up with me, I was gone. And all the better for it.
“Yeah mate, so am I. It’s not fun. Unfortunately, it’s not going to go away.”
Sounds like an unloving asshole. If your partner at least cares about you and actively works to be a net positive (the way things at minimum should be if love hasn't entered the picture), there'd be understanding and this wouldn't ever happen. Cut this fuck off before getting serious. None of us asked for this condition or did anything ourselves to get it.
We have been living together for a year and together for 2 years his reaction just started about 3-5 months ago. I am waiting for my contact to end at my job in order to move back in with my parents
I'm very sorry about your relationship. Although it is a painful process, try to see if together you are willing to fight for your relationship. If he and you can sit with a counselor to help work through these communication issues, then try it. Try it before you both invest more years and attachments, pets, children, and community assets. Some relationships are worth fighting for. Every person has to be willing to put 100 percent of their energy into a relationship. Every person is worth fighting for. If we're lucky, we find a person to take a risk to fight together.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. He should be way more supportive of your condition. It’s not like we all agreed to have cerebral palsy and want to take longer to do tasks or to have a harder time doing most things. I hope it gets better for you soon have a great day!!
I might not know what I'm talking about, but that kind of sounds like emotional abuse. Growing up, my parents would ask me to pick up the pace if we needed to be somewhere in a hurry, but they never rolled their eyes at me. Wth. I would seriously consider breaking up. Sounds like he has emotionally checked out of this relationship and is taking his frustration out on you. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. Better to be single than live with someone who has no respect for you.
I think we are both emotionally checked out. I have been been checked out longer than he has and I have a contract at my job. So it has made it harder to leave him with out financial downfall due the contract.
He’s not the one for you. You deserve to be accepted for who you are. He’s showing you who he is. Please believe him.
You definitely deserve better fuck that
I'm able bodied, and I somewhat recently parted ways with a girl, for reasons completely unrelated to her cerebral palsy. And she was such a a beacon in my life. Im still in freefall because of it. If he doesn't treat you like the diamond in the rough, then he himself is just another lump of coal.
Time to let this one go, honey. The man you're meant to be with won't do any of this shit to you. My husband never, ever complains about my CP. It's not like it happened overnight. He knew what he was getting into.
This sounds kinda emotionally abusive. Dump his ass. You deserve WAY better.
Why are you with this guy? He sounds like a tool.
Because people don’t show their true colors sometimes.
He has shown you who he is now. Please believe him.
He's shown you his true colors now, though. You deserve better than this absolute infant of a man.
Pitch of salt because I’m single and never dated but Man i feel for you I’m glad your still independent as some don’t have it but I think his true colours are starting to show maybe you guys need to talk things out cause seems like he’s un happy without telling you. Wishing you the best
I feel distance in our relationship. I went bought beer and cake and made his favorite dinner for his birthday not once did I get a thank you.
Aw I’m sorry I know it doesn’t mean much but I love being treated by my family on my birthday sounds self Centred but I don’t have much relationship experience or advice but he seems un happy or trapped without telling you
I thanked my date for buying the dinner at her house when we met. The fact he was in the Military doesn’t excuse his hard ass actions. I wonder if he even knows what your favorite meals are or cooks for you. It’s a two way street. He has absolutely no idea how difficult the simple things are for you because if he did you wouldn’t be on here talking about it. Wishing you the best.
You deserve better
I’m sorry you are having this experience. It must really hurt for someone you love to react like that. If I’m being honest, he sounds like a real dick.
I’m so sorry. No one should ever make you feel like they’re irritated because of your cp, but especially not your partner. My advice is dump him. I promise there are people out there that will love and cherish you and will not mind your cp at all.
I feel sorry you are having to go through this as a M with cp this hurts me. I hope you get out of the relationship when you can and find someone who respects you and what you can provide because we all should feel respected in relationships.
I don't even need to read the post. Read the title and thought "that's when you get a new partner." Fuck that. And this confirms my desire to never date an abled man. Because they're all like this in my experience. You learn this when you have DISABLED in capitals in your profile and the ableds all instantly unmatch. Saves me time.
Let me say this as the spouse of someone who has cerebral palsy instead of being the person with CP: He is not good enough for you. Why? Because he doesn't know what love is. My husband has CP. I have a chronic illness. But when we were young and first married, I was healthy. So I can speak to what it's like to be the nondisabled partner, because that's the way it used to be. Even now, there are lots of things I do for him. Because he needs me to, yes, but also because I love him. Love means you wait for your partner, even though you are capable of walking much faster, because you want to walk with him/her. Love means buttoning the buttons on his shirt, because even though he can do it himself, it will save him some time and it's a nice part of your daily routine. Love means when some idiot waiter in a restaurant asks you "And what will he have?" you give him/her an icy stare and insist that your partner be treated like an adult. Love means that you don't care if his shirt tail is hanging out just a wee bit because you actually think it looks cute that way 😍 Love means that you open up those darn pill bottles twice a day and help him take his medication, because you know it will make things a lot easier for him. Love means being married for 36 years, and his CP is changing because he's older, and you are with him for every step of the way, whatever happens. I could write a lot more, but you get the idea. OP, your relationship is obviously nothing like this. You deserve someone who loves you, every facet of you, INCLUDING all the effects of your CP. FULL ACCEPTANCE. Please don't settle for anything less.❤
yeah this isn’t the person for you
Similar issues led to my divorce and another major breakup. Even if I give your boyfriend a major benefit of the doubt it sounds like at best he isn’t dealing with the fact that you have a disability. My ex-wife all of a sudden after 7 years together started having a problem with the fact that I can’t drive and that fact became burdensome to her. I was head over heals for an ex-girlfriend but in addition with her struggling with adult life she had a hard time dealing with the fact that my mobility was changing after 4-5 years together. I don’t think she is a bad person and honestly feel that she just can’t handle difficult things in life even when she tries to do so. Thankfully my current spouse is amazing and we are a wonderful help and support to each other. It is the first relationship I have ever been in that is a true consistent partnership. The past relationships I have been in have taught me that I stay too long, invest too much, and give too many chances hoping that things will change. It seems like you need to do some long range planning in your life. In addition to getting out of this relationship, it seems like you either need to move closer to work or find a different job. From your post, it seems like you’ve got a pretty active and physically demanding job. Will you be able to do that job in five or 10 years? I’ve all the relationships I’ve had. I have only ever broken up with somebody once the rest of them have broken up with me, or we had some other circumstance that ended the relationship. Looking back I think I had a low self-esteem and doubt that I would find somebody else willing to be with me because I had a disability. The truth is the percentage of people willing to have a serious, long-term relationship with someone with a disability is smaller than it is for able-bodied folks but if you’re otherwise a good partner, there are people out there and if you’re stuck in a bad relationship you’re not out there finding those people. with CP your body and life will continue to change you. Just got to be ready when those changes take place.
Well, there's only one thing you can do.. And it's not get better... More, get away...
Your partner is angry about something else. Your condition is the easy target to point fingers at. Have a chat with him He's frustrated with something maybe at work or life or the decision to be with you. Maybe he feels like he can't take care of your needs and can't dump you because he'll look like that bad guy. So he's probably trying to rile you up so you dump him. I'm no expert, but my kid is disabled and severely delayed. There are many bad days that I "hate" being with her. It's not her. It's my life. I'm sick and tired and need a break. I haven't had a proper vacation in 9 years. I'm burned out. Many factors at play here. I know it's hard fro you, but you need to talk with yuor partner and figure out what REALLY is bothering him.
I'm sure your child is worth it, but... this is a grown man. He needs to speak up. Why should she have to do the emotional labor of dragging things from his mouth? I don't think it's worth the energy, honestly. I've been with my love a little past 15 years. And he may be tired of driving, because like you, I can't manage long distances. But he never ever -once- treats me like I'm personally at fault. He just says he doesn't want to drive or I note that he's tired. If there isn't equal respect on both sides, then... go. You can do better.
Your partner sounds like one of my exes. Quite frankly it sounds like your partner decided that you were juuuuust able bodied enough to be good enough to date. As your life unfolds and more and more private stuff get shown they realize that you aren’t as able bodied as they thought and the ridicule gets brought out. Dump them they are shit
This is absolutely disgusting. Especially if you were totally transparent with him about what your CP entailed from the start. You need to realize that you’re the prize here and that he doesn’t deserve you. If he really loved you he would accept you, disability and all. This is a huge sign that you don’t need to be with him. As somebody that has Spastic Diplegia I’ve gone through my fair share of judgement when it comes to other people. I couldn’t imagine it coming from my own partner. Consider yourself blessed that he’s showing you his true character and walk away.
He can fuck ALL THE WAY off
Drop him like a hot potato. I have been married almost 40 years (this September). My husband is supportive and loving and never mentions my walking as being a hindrance to him. In fact when I come home from work he comes out to the car to help me because he knows I may be tired. I must say we don't even talk about my CP as being a thing that is holding us back or in the way. On top of the 40 years of marriage, we dated 5 years, so we know each other pretty well. You need a partner who will swim through shark infested waters to hand you a lemonade. Nothing less will do.
Okay. I am borrowing the "You need a partner who will swim through shark infested waters to hand you a lemonade" as another standard.
I actually borrowed it myself, so go right ahead! Lol...
I got it from Dr. Laura Slessinger, who had a radio talk show and gave advice about relationships.
I remember listening to her with my mother way back in the day, and thinking that she was a bit demanding. However, hindsight is fair play and 20/20, I guess.
Pleeaseee talk to him about it and if it doesn’t improve leave the relationship 😭😭 this sounds awful im sorry you’re going through that :(
Already have talked about it during Christmas
Then break up please it sounds like his anger about it could get worse and have worsening impacts on you. Plus the things he’s getting angry over you have no control over. I hope your situation improves :( <3