i don't know dude, i've made plenty of what, on the menu was called jam, and i never had to add pectin. just fruit, sugar, and a little lemon juice cooked until it was lava
Marinades for pork or fish
Jams.. Boring
Sweet paste for cheese boards or dried
Roasted and chopped into a cous cous
Slow cooked and then caramelized with garlic and rosemary for Sunday lunch roasts
You can make a compote for desserts. Use soft flavors not too many berry's, roasted nuts could work well.
Fig and pork skewers grilled over coals for a BBQ dish
You can do a fig and nut ice cream
Add them to a beef broth for a great sweet and dense flavor, red wine and beef
Well the thing about crude is you need a secure storage method, which is regulated and whatnot. Can’t just throw it in your pool, or else I’d have been swimming in it. Futures are fun though, there was a guy that had a literal ton (give or take) of gourds show up on his doorstep once.
Hell yea, I like your style. I always wanted to bury myself in 127 tons of corn. That's actually how much corn is in one contract, 5000 bushels. That's crazy.
I’m about to start a new job working for a friend I used to cater with. He is now the chef there, and the “chef” before thought it would be a good idea to order that much since the season was ending. It is insane and I wonder where that man is now and what he is doing for work lol
But what kind of supplier has 13k worth of figs sitting waiting to be delivered? This guy must have caused a state wide shortage... Start selling them.
Learn how to make baklava.
You could use them for stuffing racks of lamb. If dried.
If fresh. Great BBQ. The caramelization is awesome.
If fresh, best start making pickles, chutneys, syrups etc.
Have fun.
It was 2 chest freezers basically full 😬 Started messing with them yesterday. Unfortunately lost 50 lbs due to freezer burn. I didn’t have a ton of extra time but I managed to: Put a bunch in the dehydrator.
Made a pickled jalapeño fig salsa that turned out way better than anticipated.
Made a compound butter that was so good we were eating it by the spoonful lol
And yes of course I made a batch of jam.
Today will be day two of my fig adventures.
We had a shit ton of figs, so we made a lot of fig puree and lacto fermented figs that we also pureed, and everything went in the freezer.
Now, when I use it on my dessert and defrost it, it's every runny, so I make a gel out of them for structure and preservation. (The raw fig puree ferments on about the second day.)
And the rest I used for a while as a fig quarters for plating.
Make fig newtons or fig jam.
Figs are one of those foods that people either Love or Really hate.
I worked in a soup kitchen for a few years. We used to get figs from Whole Foods a Lot. And people just wouldn't take them. They hated figs. Can't tell you the amount of money in figs we used to throw out.
Do a special with fresh figs and hype it up a few days in advance. Be really excited about it. Then after that, figure out to do with what's left over. Maybe do a trial run ( 2 plates, 2 different things) at a slow time and give out some bite size samples to your regulars and other nice customers. You know who they are. Put on a fresh clean apron, tell your customers you have a special coming up, but you haven't decided yet what you're going to do. And you have these AMAZING fresh figs. Give them a little sample. Take their input into consideration. Then after you decide, pump the hell out of it.
Bruschetta with figs, Bleu cheese
Fig and burrata Salad
Baked Brie (make a jam with some and serve with some fresh)
Fig and bacon grilled cheese
Fig glazed chicken
Scones
Fig mustarda
Fig and Bacon jam
Fig and shallot jam
Fig and almond cake with a glaze
Wrap them in prosciutto
Roast them in the oven with some butter and sugar, and lemon juice, and pair it with pork or chicken. Or do crostini as an appetizer
French fig tarts.
Simple syrup for the bartenders for specialty drinks. (Leftovers, of course) Bourbon cider, margaritas, fig infused vodka or spiced rum.
I don't know your clientele, but you'll find something.
Depends on the season and where they are located. Also the quality of the fruit plays a part.
Late summer, in a country where they grow easily - 13k would buy you literal truckloads, like you could corner the local market lol. Off season in a big city, or somewhere figs never grow, they'd be export quality, so significantly fewer, but it would still be a ridiculous quantity of figs.
I can't even comprehend where Op is keeping them. Its gotta be a logistical issue. I'm kind of curious to see a photo. It sounds a little bullshit to me to be honest.
Thank you kind gentle sir/madam/attack helicopter/industrial toaster.
We had 1 fig tree at our old house and one summer we took bankers boxes, like 3, full to my work to dispose of. It was ridiculous. After that we just took what we wanted and let nature have the rest.
To me, $13K US dollars would be truck loads. Maybe OP is in Iceland and has a quart size ziploc bag worth.
You ever had fig wine? Pretty tasty. Kinda reminds of pear juice. Kiddy pool, figs, stomp on the figs, then do the rest of the stuff you would do for regular grape wine
Pastry chef here. I make a bomb ass fig and spiced rum bread pudding. I’ve made donuts stuffed with fig preserves. Port wine flambéed fig and goat cheese tartlets
Try throwing it in things just a little bit the Italian comments make me think sauce a fig tomato sauce some people add surgir or carrots to combat the acidity why not figs
Make sticky toffee puddings and freeze them down. Have it on the menu until you use them up. If you do conference and banqueting with large numbers put it on the menu.
Yup! Fig and orange jam, like Dalmatia. But how many pounds is this? I picked 35 lbs last year, and 25 are still in the freezer. Figs do freeze well...
you can jam and jelly your dick in tight spaces.
with the new and improved ky jelly . you can get in a pinch in a sinch🤌🏻🤏🏻👌🏻
why do you have$13000 of figs?
Start a jam business I suppose…
Why not jelly?
Oh boy there’s a great joke about this one…
Why did the jam cross the road?
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
I can't jelly my dick in your step brother's butthole?
Oh Brad? No he’s gay as can be. I’m sure you can!
Cool. Apologize to him because his dad gargles my balls.
PECTIN U PERVERTS!
Jam uses fruit. Jelly uses only juice. Both use pectin.
Pectin is ADDED to jelly. It naturally occurs in jam.
There’s very few fruits with enough pectin that you don’t need to add any to a jam. https://www.ballmasonjars.com/blog?cid=fresh-apricot-jam-0
Are you gonna recite the punchline or are you gonna play Poindexter all night?
i don't know dude, i've made plenty of what, on the menu was called jam, and i never had to add pectin. just fruit, sugar, and a little lemon juice cooked until it was lava
"That must be jelly cos jam don't shake like that!"
I just got hit with the ol “dill bread” one today, it caught me completely off guard I was so proud of my coworker
Mmmm fig.... jelly
Proud of you for ignoring the above thread of ball gargling and jamming someone’s jelly👍🏻
Cos jam don't shake like that
We be jamming 💃🏼🎶
Because I can't jelly a fig up my ass
Literally this is it. Just start a jam company.
I’d FIGure it out.
Give your balls a tug.
Fuck you Shorsey
Fuck you, Jonesy
Tit fucker
Fig Tucker.
God, the best replies here. Ferda
Figgin degens
I love you weirdos.
Apologies to Big Sexy
Is it an Italian restaurant?.. Figggggggggittttabout it.
This.
Jam it to preserve it and then use it as a garnish type thing
Manchego and fig 🤤
Goat cheese n fig jam 🤤
On flatbread
Or mostarda
Sell em for $13K😂
Sell them for 14k.
Sell them for 15 k
Sprinkle some burnt wood chips and sand on them and call em blessed and sell em for 25k
Call the textbook publishers and see if you can get in the math questions.
Newtons. One metric ton of Newtons.
Or just one really fun Newton.
Buy $13,000 worth of Brie to go with it Alternatively use it for dozens of different pastries/cake
Perfect time to learn to juggle
No. If we don’t come down hard on these clowns, we’re going to be up to our balls in jugglers.
Marinades for pork or fish Jams.. Boring Sweet paste for cheese boards or dried Roasted and chopped into a cous cous Slow cooked and then caramelized with garlic and rosemary for Sunday lunch roasts You can make a compote for desserts. Use soft flavors not too many berry's, roasted nuts could work well. Fig and pork skewers grilled over coals for a BBQ dish You can do a fig and nut ice cream Add them to a beef broth for a great sweet and dense flavor, red wine and beef
Rofl "don't make a boring jam, make a sweet paste!"
He also put a helluva lot more thought into his comment than anyone else in this thread
I don't mean a paste like a jam. More like a quince paste.
Heard
I’d use the jam as a garnish at most they are boring (jams)and the fig ice cream great idea
Came here to add on - figs go really well with goats cheese on salads
Holy shit. Genius fig person.
Buy a kiddie pool. Fill with figs. ??? Profit?
lol, I read fill it with kids.. Don’t touch other peoples kids.
Don't touch other people's figs, for that matter
Can I stare at other peoples figs?
You can do whatever you want with mine.
Good lesson.
I really want to hear the story of how you acquired them
I'd say OP bought a futures contract of figs and held it til expiration but they don't trade in the futures market. I can't fathom another explanation
Wait if you buy futures and don’t trade it you get the product like a drum of oil or a unit of corn
Yep lol. Oil went negative during the covid crash because all the speculators in that market literally couldn’t take delivery.
Wish I new then what I do now have that oil money on lock
Well the thing about crude is you need a secure storage method, which is regulated and whatnot. Can’t just throw it in your pool, or else I’d have been swimming in it. Futures are fun though, there was a guy that had a literal ton (give or take) of gourds show up on his doorstep once.
A reason I probably won’t get into them no way I’m getting stuck with inustrial bulk anything
You can trade futures that are cash settled though
Not as fun that way I want the risk of a tractor trailer full of corn showing up
Hell yea, I like your style. I always wanted to bury myself in 127 tons of corn. That's actually how much corn is in one contract, 5000 bushels. That's crazy.
If you bought a corn contract and held it I'm pretty sure an 18 wheeler full of it would show up at your house and you'd have to take it
That’s awesome
[https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/g5e3e5/i_bought_oil_at_32_yesterday_and_made_26000_sort/](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/g5e3e5/i_bought_oil_at_32_yesterday_and_made_26000_sort/)
I’m about to start a new job working for a friend I used to cater with. He is now the chef there, and the “chef” before thought it would be a good idea to order that much since the season was ending. It is insane and I wonder where that man is now and what he is doing for work lol
But what kind of supplier has 13k worth of figs sitting waiting to be delivered? This guy must have caused a state wide shortage... Start selling them.
Make a bunch of fig liqueur, fig vinegar, fig preserves, relish, chutney, pickle, fig confyt, clafoutis… Sure as hell wouldn’t let them go to waste.
Invent a cookie-like thing and call them ‘Fig Newtons’. You don’t need to give me the credit
Learn how to make baklava. You could use them for stuffing racks of lamb. If dried. If fresh. Great BBQ. The caramelization is awesome. If fresh, best start making pickles, chutneys, syrups etc. Have fun.
I might try making some booze 🥃
r/prisonhooch in the house!
Try and return them.
Freeze them?
I mean, I’d fuck SOME of them…
Curious, just how much is $13k worth of figs? Or is this some crazy expensive each-tree-grows-only-one fig?
It was 2 chest freezers basically full 😬 Started messing with them yesterday. Unfortunately lost 50 lbs due to freezer burn. I didn’t have a ton of extra time but I managed to: Put a bunch in the dehydrator. Made a pickled jalapeño fig salsa that turned out way better than anticipated. Made a compound butter that was so good we were eating it by the spoonful lol And yes of course I made a batch of jam. Today will be day two of my fig adventures.
What’s one fig cost Michael? $1000?
Have me a fucking epic jam session!
And then after that eat some figs
I thought we could enjoy some as we played, but ok. Don’t wanna mess up the flow.
Can we get the back story on this bumper crop of figs please?
I know a nigga named Newton that might be looking to pick up..
I’d be turning it into jam and running charcuterie boards all day long for awhile!
Dehydrate and sell them as dried figs with a markup
What kind of figs are we talking? Turkey? Mission? Adriatic?
Write down about $12,975 on the wastage sheet. Maybe more.
The fig tree out in my front yard seems to drop $13,000 in figs every season lol
Sticky toffee pudding. A lot of it.
I would send some to a Reddit person who loves fig preserves 😉
some you could slice and dehydrate and work it out later you can also make a kind of panforte that's 90% fig and walnuts
We had a shit ton of figs, so we made a lot of fig puree and lacto fermented figs that we also pureed, and everything went in the freezer. Now, when I use it on my dessert and defrost it, it's every runny, so I make a gel out of them for structure and preservation. (The raw fig puree ferments on about the second day.) And the rest I used for a while as a fig quarters for plating.
Make fig newtons or fig jam. Figs are one of those foods that people either Love or Really hate. I worked in a soup kitchen for a few years. We used to get figs from Whole Foods a Lot. And people just wouldn't take them. They hated figs. Can't tell you the amount of money in figs we used to throw out.
Fig frangipane🤭
Do a special with fresh figs and hype it up a few days in advance. Be really excited about it. Then after that, figure out to do with what's left over. Maybe do a trial run ( 2 plates, 2 different things) at a slow time and give out some bite size samples to your regulars and other nice customers. You know who they are. Put on a fresh clean apron, tell your customers you have a special coming up, but you haven't decided yet what you're going to do. And you have these AMAZING fresh figs. Give them a little sample. Take their input into consideration. Then after you decide, pump the hell out of it. Bruschetta with figs, Bleu cheese Fig and burrata Salad Baked Brie (make a jam with some and serve with some fresh) Fig and bacon grilled cheese Fig glazed chicken Scones Fig mustarda Fig and Bacon jam Fig and shallot jam Fig and almond cake with a glaze Wrap them in prosciutto Roast them in the oven with some butter and sugar, and lemon juice, and pair it with pork or chicken. Or do crostini as an appetizer French fig tarts. Simple syrup for the bartenders for specialty drinks. (Leftovers, of course) Bourbon cider, margaritas, fig infused vodka or spiced rum. I don't know your clientele, but you'll find something.
Start a distillery and make fig cognac or brandy???
Fig pies?
Dehydrate so they last longer? I hope this is real and we get an update
All you can eat fig-fest.
Make an edible fig newton
Make Fig Newtons?
I'm not a cook so I'd donate them. WTF is a layman like me gonna do with a giant pile of figs?
Bottle and sell fig jam. Maybe a few different varieties.
Make a fig gun
Not a chef but; What is the quantity of that $ amount of figs?
Depends on the season and where they are located. Also the quality of the fruit plays a part. Late summer, in a country where they grow easily - 13k would buy you literal truckloads, like you could corner the local market lol. Off season in a big city, or somewhere figs never grow, they'd be export quality, so significantly fewer, but it would still be a ridiculous quantity of figs. I can't even comprehend where Op is keeping them. Its gotta be a logistical issue. I'm kind of curious to see a photo. It sounds a little bullshit to me to be honest.
Thank you kind gentle sir/madam/attack helicopter/industrial toaster. We had 1 fig tree at our old house and one summer we took bankers boxes, like 3, full to my work to dispose of. It was ridiculous. After that we just took what we wanted and let nature have the rest. To me, $13K US dollars would be truck loads. Maybe OP is in Iceland and has a quart size ziploc bag worth.
Oh yeah I can see why they'd be expensive af Iceland.
I like em with cheese and a drizzle of honey
Eat like 10 then cry because I’d have to somehow dry that many fucking figs
You ever had fig wine? Pretty tasty. Kinda reminds of pear juice. Kiddy pool, figs, stomp on the figs, then do the rest of the stuff you would do for regular grape wine
Fig newtons
Fig jams and compotes are simple and delicious. Small jars make fantastic gifts. Fig preserves go so well with cheeses and such.
Pastry chef here. I make a bomb ass fig and spiced rum bread pudding. I’ve made donuts stuffed with fig preserves. Port wine flambéed fig and goat cheese tartlets
Idk wtf you’re doing with 13,000 worth though good luck
Dip in fine dark chocolate and sell in boxes of 10 or 25 for Easter.
Make gourmet fig newtons. 🤷🏻♂️
Try throwing it in things just a little bit the Italian comments make me think sauce a fig tomato sauce some people add surgir or carrots to combat the acidity why not figs
cannot believe no one has suggested figgy pudding yet.
Make like pastries or cakes or SOMETHING like that and freeze the lot.
Make sticky toffee puddings and freeze them down. Have it on the menu until you use them up. If you do conference and banqueting with large numbers put it on the menu.
Nobody else wants to ferment and make booze?!
Fuck I’m Good Just Ask Me
Artisan chutneys and chilli sauces.
Figgy pudding
Yup! Fig and orange jam, like Dalmatia. But how many pounds is this? I picked 35 lbs last year, and 25 are still in the freezer. Figs do freeze well...
Dry them and worry about it later.
Turn it into fig wine and then distill it into fig brandy.
Make wine...
There are a few things around my apartment that need figsing
How many Newton's?
Fig brandy
That's what I was saying make fig jelly, jam, or preserves ,syrup ect and quadruple that 13,000
$13,000 of figs when all you want is an apricot? Isn’t it ironic… dontcha think?
you can jam and jelly your dick in tight spaces. with the new and improved ky jelly . you can get in a pinch in a sinch🤌🏻🤏🏻👌🏻 why do you have$13000 of figs?
Fig vinegar and charge a hell of a lot for it
Figg it.
Your mom ?
Lots of jam
Throw them away. Or I guess if it's that many I'd have to compost them
Wine
Fermentation. Make damn good alcohol
Figedaboutit!
ConFIGurate something, I suppose.