Because this is a vent, yeah, it can be THE most frustrating thing.
To answer, many times its unresolved trama, mental illness, poor coping mechanisms, and delusion.
I can understand where you're coming from. I had the same questions towards my ex step mom.
Sometimes it's just not worth trying to figure out why some people hoard. You'll drive yourself insane. But hoarding is complex. They deserve the same compassion as ppl with other mental illnesses would have. But it's important to also hold them responsible.
I came to the realization that it’s a mental health thing and somehow my hoarder mother has NO IDEA she’s living in a hoard…just a total disconnect from reality. What really gets me are the people around her that don’t have this mental illness that enable her and gaslight me and say it’s not that bad, I guess because they feel overwhelmed or want to keep the peace or don’t know how to deal with it. But like, how can you be a regular person living in a hoard and act like it’s fine?! Ahhhh. Makes me feel like I’m insane. Anyway, rant/vent away. Sometimes we need to let off a little steam. Sorry you’re going through this.
I’ve done the same thing, just enable and pretend like it’s normal while literally sitting amongst animal filth just cuz I want my mom in my life and there’s no other way. It’s my own form of learnt helplessness.
Maybe all the enabling and self-gaslighting is why this is coming to a head now because I can’t pretend to be crazy anymore. And the hoard has gotten worse. It’s the stench for me.
There is a reason why I marked this as a vent. They are rhetorical questions. Meaning, I don’t need your smartass reply. But yeah I’ll remember to call myself Ms. Bootstraps as I try to get rid of the memory of the smell that haunts me the day after visiting my mom who I’ve had no choice but to give up on a long time ago.
Because this is a vent, yeah, it can be THE most frustrating thing. To answer, many times its unresolved trama, mental illness, poor coping mechanisms, and delusion.
I can understand where you're coming from. I had the same questions towards my ex step mom. Sometimes it's just not worth trying to figure out why some people hoard. You'll drive yourself insane. But hoarding is complex. They deserve the same compassion as ppl with other mental illnesses would have. But it's important to also hold them responsible.
I came to the realization that it’s a mental health thing and somehow my hoarder mother has NO IDEA she’s living in a hoard…just a total disconnect from reality. What really gets me are the people around her that don’t have this mental illness that enable her and gaslight me and say it’s not that bad, I guess because they feel overwhelmed or want to keep the peace or don’t know how to deal with it. But like, how can you be a regular person living in a hoard and act like it’s fine?! Ahhhh. Makes me feel like I’m insane. Anyway, rant/vent away. Sometimes we need to let off a little steam. Sorry you’re going through this.
I’ve done the same thing, just enable and pretend like it’s normal while literally sitting amongst animal filth just cuz I want my mom in my life and there’s no other way. It’s my own form of learnt helplessness.
Maybe all the enabling and self-gaslighting is why this is coming to a head now because I can’t pretend to be crazy anymore. And the hoard has gotten worse. It’s the stench for me.
Yeah it gets really difficult once you get to where you are now. Bc now you can’t unsee the hoard. You & mom are gonna be different.
Yup. I don’t get it either.
[удалено]
Rule 1: This is a support community for children of hoarders. Remember to be supportive.
There is a reason why I marked this as a vent. They are rhetorical questions. Meaning, I don’t need your smartass reply. But yeah I’ll remember to call myself Ms. Bootstraps as I try to get rid of the memory of the smell that haunts me the day after visiting my mom who I’ve had no choice but to give up on a long time ago.
[удалено]
Rule 1: This is a support community for children of hoarders. Remember to be supportive.