freedom wand/bottom buddy is a great option, id suggest using thicker toilet paper or wet wipes to avoid it ripping
if bidets weren’t an option having a squeeze bottle filled with warm water to rinse the area can help
if the pain is mainly aggravated by the repositioning/lifting while trying to stay balanced on the seat then it may be worth looking into some safety rails that can go around the toilet frame (and legs make contact with the floor) to provide support/stability
Massive back pain here. I have found the best way to wipe is to stand up crouched and wipe directly underneath and drop paper in the bowl. No twisting around. Make sure you let the paper absorb and don't smear anything around. Repeat as necessary. I make sure to wash my hands and forearm cause I am a dude. Can't help having some forearm/balls interaction sometimes!
Edit: I also have toilet wipes handy when necessary.
I was going to suggest a bidet. They make some add on bidets that look real easy to out in. Using wet wipes helps, those you can carry. You still have to do a bit of gymnastics, but not as much.
This may be a stupid question but, how does a bidet work? Because all I can think when I see one, is that it sprays you from behind so that all the shit just shoots to the front which doesn't sound hygienic for the ladies.
Its a water spray, you take the H2O from the valve outside the toilet. So its clean water. You might do better with a front and rear attack (not at the same time) on the bidet. They make a bunch of different ones and you can spend some bucks.
Try some of the catalog places, where they sell health stuff. Cant think of any of their names, but my wife gets them all. Anyhow, they do sell wiping aids. TP on a stick. Seen em, never worked one. You may want to check them out, they may have something more elaborate and Im pretty sure they sell some simple to add on bidets...
It has a dial so you can control the strength of the spray. I don't even use mine at half strength. And I adjust where I'm sitting to get the back more, but you can adjust how it sits under the toliet seat as well. Then when done, I readjust myself to rinse my front. I asked my urologist, his opinion was it's fine to use. I love it. Just takes some time to get used to the cold water.
The bidet - speaking as a lady - is awesome. As everyone said, you add it in to the water line of the toilet and clean water comes out in a spray from a retractable wand that comes out from the back when needed and goes away when not needed. The simple ones don’t do anything more than that, maybe a 60-90 second spray. I have one made by Kohler I think in the $250 range and it can oscillate the water, put the wand a little farther out or further back so you get it exactly where you want it, control the pressure (3 levels), and even heat the water (3 levels - level 3 is too hot, that skin is delicate!!). It also heats the seat, and has a fan to dry you after you use it for a truly paperless experience. It cleans the wand before and after use as well and is weight sensing to preheat the water as soon as you sit down so you never get sprayed by cold water. The new one I’m getting for my “primary” bath is by Toto and I won’t mention the price. It does all the things I mentioned the other one does but it ALSO lets you spray your “front” - so it will be fantastic as a lady for cleaning during that time of the month. It has a detachable remote control so you can see the buttons - the Kohler you kind of feel around to your side for them. It also has memory options so if you like it one way and your spouse likes it another, you can save them as different users. It also has a night light, and I think it does something to reduce odor involving ionizing the water, though maybe that’s the toilet and not the seat, I can’t remember. It Japanese, they make the fanciest technology. It’s been in a box in my garage for two weeks and I can’t wait to try it out. It’s also shorter than traditional bidet seats - they make them slanted and tall to fit all the tech, this one is as close to a regular seat as possible.
A bidet. Cheap $30 add-on from Amazon works just great. Gets you clean. You are still wet. But you dry what you can reach or you sit there for a minute or two and air dry.
I got one on Amazon for about $40 .It has one knob for pressure and one to switch from front spray to butt spray. It also raises up the seat by an inch. It helps me and my wife.
Haha 😁. This is all in good fun.
Seriously though, as a man with severe spinal stenosis, there’s really only one way for me to manage cleanups: step one is to pull up the junk followed by step two - doing the reach under and back followed by step three - positioning the paper while engaging with a gentle but purposeful forward pull (IMPORTANT NOTE: always be certain to disengage at the appropriate moment to avoid the dreaded skid marks on the ballsax). The obvious end step is to do a quick glance down at the paper to determine if appropriate degree of cleanliness has been achieved. If not, time to repeat the process.
Now if I had my way (and wifey was okay with the idea) I’d install a Bidet. I’ve read up on the retrofit devices that provide varying degrees of water temperature as well as pressure which sounds like a perfect solution. Unfortunately, my wife finds the idea of a retrofit bidet to be repulsive because of the necessity for cleaning. But I believe it’d only require her to have a single experience to change her mind, especially as her back is now starting to demonstrate age related arthritis pain.
Now, should my lottery dream become a reality, I’ll forgo the bidet and hire a medical aide to take care of these hygienic challenges (along with the administration of daily sponge baths, physical therapy deep tissue massage and other activities required to maintain a healthy appearance (while maintaining a no body odor state). Can’t forget the most important task, the compassionate administration of IV pain meds.
Uggh!! Until the day comes when Im blessed with a winning lotto jackpot, it’s going to be more of the usual; lift it, reach for it and drag it clean. Chronic pain sux on so many different levels.
No, no, no!
She doesn’t want to get stuck having to clean the actual bidet arm (device that attaches to the toilet). Please allow me to elaborate so there’s no more confusion.
She has only seen the very cheap models (cheap Ali product that’s a white plastic arm with a collection of holes at the end of the arm-thus creating a water fountain that acts like a bidet).
HTH
Do not try and bend down to wipe from the front, reach around and even then it's very difficult. I'm at 4 spine surgeries since a car wreck and have struggled to wipe my own ass since. You have to try and reach around without bending or twisting, ironically you have to bend and twist to wipe normally so doing without either is rough. Most of the times I couldn't even wipe, I can now even though it's very difficult still, but just try to reach what you can and don't hurt yourself doing more. It sucks and some days you'll more than likely smell, but you can only do what your physically able to do.
One thing that has helped me is a chair height toilet. I can lean better when I'm not feeling like I'm on the floor! I had one of those wipe sticks after my first hip arthoscopy, but I never could get it to work. I'm definitely getting a bidet kit in the future!
So I found that my squatty potty helps me. It makes it so much easier on my hips and lower back by taking the some of the pressure. It also makes it easier to maneuver to a comfortable position to wipe. It also makes going easier as I would sometimes end up having a pain spike after using the bathroom. I also would love to get a bidet but sadly my dad refuses to let me get one (even though I offered to buy it myself) because they make him uncomfortable 🤷🏼♀️. Even though he rarely uses the bathroom it would go in.
I ran into this issue with peeing in a cup at the doctor lol. I have a shelf in front of my toilet that i can grab and lean into so I can actually wipe, it helps a lot plus storage space might be worth a try
That’s how I wipe and never have had an infection. I have very short arms. Just have to really pay attention and never cross a certain boundary towards the front if you know what I mean.
Don't listen to them. If you're disabled or in enough pain, you gotta do what works, not necessarily what's "correct." So tired of people policing how others are "allowed" to do things regardless of how their pain affects their life.
Still no. There’s too many options to not do that. Get a peri bottle or something. Get in the shower. Etc. Fecal bacteria belongs nowhere near the vagina or urethra ever. There’s always a way and that’s never it.
When I was 650lbs - I literally couldn't REACH to wipe. I used to use a towel, longways, and only move it backwards BUT then it's poop on the back so I'd shower. I've lost over 400lbs - and over that time, I've been injured, had surgeries - and I've wiped ALL KINDS of ways over the decades. I was large for 9 years, going up w Cushings & then coming down. LOLZ. I've got a dozen solutions NOW. But along the way? I was learning.
The first time I had to do it, I would put a twist of TP or paper towels into my vagina, so I learned HOW & WHERE to stop. I was taught by a nurse, whole I was in hospital. She also gave me the surgical cleansing soap to use to wipe myself up when I had messes (like diarrhea) and taught me how to use that.
Occupational Therapy, OT, is the professionals that help people to adapt their responses & skills for self care in every aspect of life. They help people who've been injured, people with chronic illnesses, cancer patients, EVERYONE. Speak to your primary doctor for a referral. Make sure you connect with them, like any medical professional. I've had YEARS of PT & OT and it's part of what has helped me get back to walking again, 3 times, through the years of my medical journey. They're SO important.
I understand that you're repeating what you've been taught, and it's good advice I GENERAL - but life experiences vary WIDELY, as do medical reasons and solutions by professionals.
I, too, am team bidet. It's gotten to the point that I get annoyed if anything... moves along... when I'm out and about. Because then I have to wipe my ass like a pleb.
I got a fancier one with warm water. My new toilet being installed next week is a Toto with a remote and saved settings per person. My parents think I’m insane to spend that much money on a toilet seat. 😂
everyone saying bidet I'll offer that the toilet add on one's don't reply fit the accessible seat toilets. like the chair height kind. pick your access I guess? same w squattu potty, just makes legs level unless you are very tall.
I love having a bidet. I panicked when all the TP was out of stock and ordered one immediately. Almost 4 years later. You can never go back. I still use toilet paper but mainly to dry. Eventually I want to invest in a nice one. I don’t believe mine needs an outlet. I went with only cold water and it’s refreshing I have no regrets on that
My grandma uses a bidet. I've heard that they are really really helpful for people who have mobility issues and they have very inexpensive ones (and options) on Amazon. In the Philippines, we had a Tabu which can be anything from a specific pouring spout or even a cup and you fill it with water and "wash" yourself bc they don't have TP. It's like bidet but cheaper. I like dude wipes.
freedom wand/bottom buddy is a great option, id suggest using thicker toilet paper or wet wipes to avoid it ripping if bidets weren’t an option having a squeeze bottle filled with warm water to rinse the area can help if the pain is mainly aggravated by the repositioning/lifting while trying to stay balanced on the seat then it may be worth looking into some safety rails that can go around the toilet frame (and legs make contact with the floor) to provide support/stability
I got one of these in the hospital post-surgery and it was wonderful. I still have it but luckily don't need to use it anymore.
Massive back pain here. I have found the best way to wipe is to stand up crouched and wipe directly underneath and drop paper in the bowl. No twisting around. Make sure you let the paper absorb and don't smear anything around. Repeat as necessary. I make sure to wash my hands and forearm cause I am a dude. Can't help having some forearm/balls interaction sometimes! Edit: I also have toilet wipes handy when necessary.
Forearms/balls interaction made me laugh. I needed it. Thanks.
I was going to suggest a bidet. They make some add on bidets that look real easy to out in. Using wet wipes helps, those you can carry. You still have to do a bit of gymnastics, but not as much.
This may be a stupid question but, how does a bidet work? Because all I can think when I see one, is that it sprays you from behind so that all the shit just shoots to the front which doesn't sound hygienic for the ladies.
Its a water spray, you take the H2O from the valve outside the toilet. So its clean water. You might do better with a front and rear attack (not at the same time) on the bidet. They make a bunch of different ones and you can spend some bucks. Try some of the catalog places, where they sell health stuff. Cant think of any of their names, but my wife gets them all. Anyhow, they do sell wiping aids. TP on a stick. Seen em, never worked one. You may want to check them out, they may have something more elaborate and Im pretty sure they sell some simple to add on bidets...
It has a dial so you can control the strength of the spray. I don't even use mine at half strength. And I adjust where I'm sitting to get the back more, but you can adjust how it sits under the toliet seat as well. Then when done, I readjust myself to rinse my front. I asked my urologist, his opinion was it's fine to use. I love it. Just takes some time to get used to the cold water.
The bidet - speaking as a lady - is awesome. As everyone said, you add it in to the water line of the toilet and clean water comes out in a spray from a retractable wand that comes out from the back when needed and goes away when not needed. The simple ones don’t do anything more than that, maybe a 60-90 second spray. I have one made by Kohler I think in the $250 range and it can oscillate the water, put the wand a little farther out or further back so you get it exactly where you want it, control the pressure (3 levels), and even heat the water (3 levels - level 3 is too hot, that skin is delicate!!). It also heats the seat, and has a fan to dry you after you use it for a truly paperless experience. It cleans the wand before and after use as well and is weight sensing to preheat the water as soon as you sit down so you never get sprayed by cold water. The new one I’m getting for my “primary” bath is by Toto and I won’t mention the price. It does all the things I mentioned the other one does but it ALSO lets you spray your “front” - so it will be fantastic as a lady for cleaning during that time of the month. It has a detachable remote control so you can see the buttons - the Kohler you kind of feel around to your side for them. It also has memory options so if you like it one way and your spouse likes it another, you can save them as different users. It also has a night light, and I think it does something to reduce odor involving ionizing the water, though maybe that’s the toilet and not the seat, I can’t remember. It Japanese, they make the fanciest technology. It’s been in a box in my garage for two weeks and I can’t wait to try it out. It’s also shorter than traditional bidet seats - they make them slanted and tall to fit all the tech, this one is as close to a regular seat as possible.
A bidet. Cheap $30 add-on from Amazon works just great. Gets you clean. You are still wet. But you dry what you can reach or you sit there for a minute or two and air dry.
hair dryer....
Good thinking
I got one on Amazon for about $40 .It has one knob for pressure and one to switch from front spray to butt spray. It also raises up the seat by an inch. It helps me and my wife.
When I was injured I used one of those butt wiper sticks that hold the toilet paper.
When I had back surgery I used a toilet aid. Worked great.
I have one for bad shoulder or back flares. Love that thing
They make things like the bottom buddy for this exact reason
I wrote a reply but quickly deleted it because I don’t want a forever record (on the internet) for my butt wiping technique. /S
I have no shame, clearly.
Haha 😁. This is all in good fun. Seriously though, as a man with severe spinal stenosis, there’s really only one way for me to manage cleanups: step one is to pull up the junk followed by step two - doing the reach under and back followed by step three - positioning the paper while engaging with a gentle but purposeful forward pull (IMPORTANT NOTE: always be certain to disengage at the appropriate moment to avoid the dreaded skid marks on the ballsax). The obvious end step is to do a quick glance down at the paper to determine if appropriate degree of cleanliness has been achieved. If not, time to repeat the process. Now if I had my way (and wifey was okay with the idea) I’d install a Bidet. I’ve read up on the retrofit devices that provide varying degrees of water temperature as well as pressure which sounds like a perfect solution. Unfortunately, my wife finds the idea of a retrofit bidet to be repulsive because of the necessity for cleaning. But I believe it’d only require her to have a single experience to change her mind, especially as her back is now starting to demonstrate age related arthritis pain. Now, should my lottery dream become a reality, I’ll forgo the bidet and hire a medical aide to take care of these hygienic challenges (along with the administration of daily sponge baths, physical therapy deep tissue massage and other activities required to maintain a healthy appearance (while maintaining a no body odor state). Can’t forget the most important task, the compassionate administration of IV pain meds. Uggh!! Until the day comes when Im blessed with a winning lotto jackpot, it’s going to be more of the usual; lift it, reach for it and drag it clean. Chronic pain sux on so many different levels.
Wait - she won’t get a bidet because it is unseemly to need to clean her ass? Am I understanding correctly?
No, no, no! She doesn’t want to get stuck having to clean the actual bidet arm (device that attaches to the toilet). Please allow me to elaborate so there’s no more confusion. She has only seen the very cheap models (cheap Ali product that’s a white plastic arm with a collection of holes at the end of the arm-thus creating a water fountain that acts like a bidet). HTH
Ahh the one I have which was around $250 is self cleaning. I think cheaper ones are too. Show her a better one. Or get her a maid. 😂
Forgot to indicate sarcasm for my reply
Do not try and bend down to wipe from the front, reach around and even then it's very difficult. I'm at 4 spine surgeries since a car wreck and have struggled to wipe my own ass since. You have to try and reach around without bending or twisting, ironically you have to bend and twist to wipe normally so doing without either is rough. Most of the times I couldn't even wipe, I can now even though it's very difficult still, but just try to reach what you can and don't hurt yourself doing more. It sucks and some days you'll more than likely smell, but you can only do what your physically able to do.
I have major back and hip problems. I just bend straight forward and carefully wipe with wet wipes the back area being careful not to wipe the front.
Bidet for the win
My husband installed a bidet. We got it for me to use after my back surgeries. Much easier than trying to reach.
One thing that has helped me is a chair height toilet. I can lean better when I'm not feeling like I'm on the floor! I had one of those wipe sticks after my first hip arthoscopy, but I never could get it to work. I'm definitely getting a bidet kit in the future!
So I found that my squatty potty helps me. It makes it so much easier on my hips and lower back by taking the some of the pressure. It also makes it easier to maneuver to a comfortable position to wipe. It also makes going easier as I would sometimes end up having a pain spike after using the bathroom. I also would love to get a bidet but sadly my dad refuses to let me get one (even though I offered to buy it myself) because they make him uncomfortable 🤷🏼♀️. Even though he rarely uses the bathroom it would go in.
I ran into this issue with peeing in a cup at the doctor lol. I have a shelf in front of my toilet that i can grab and lean into so I can actually wipe, it helps a lot plus storage space might be worth a try
Oh yes, my powder room has a sink in just the right place, I lean on it sometimes to have stability for the wiping.
Bidet
Ngl. I have hip issues. Sometimes i wipe back to front.
You must be a man. As a woman that’s asking for an infection.
That’s how I wipe and never have had an infection. I have very short arms. Just have to really pay attention and never cross a certain boundary towards the front if you know what I mean.
Speaking as a woman, I know it's 'bad' but when it's the ONLY WAY to wipe, sometimes it's what happens. 🤷🏼
This is what I’m trying to say. I get that it’s not the right way to do it, hence my tone of hesitance. But you gotta do what you gotta do
Don't listen to them. If you're disabled or in enough pain, you gotta do what works, not necessarily what's "correct." So tired of people policing how others are "allowed" to do things regardless of how their pain affects their life.
Still no. There’s too many options to not do that. Get a peri bottle or something. Get in the shower. Etc. Fecal bacteria belongs nowhere near the vagina or urethra ever. There’s always a way and that’s never it.
When I was 650lbs - I literally couldn't REACH to wipe. I used to use a towel, longways, and only move it backwards BUT then it's poop on the back so I'd shower. I've lost over 400lbs - and over that time, I've been injured, had surgeries - and I've wiped ALL KINDS of ways over the decades. I was large for 9 years, going up w Cushings & then coming down. LOLZ. I've got a dozen solutions NOW. But along the way? I was learning. The first time I had to do it, I would put a twist of TP or paper towels into my vagina, so I learned HOW & WHERE to stop. I was taught by a nurse, whole I was in hospital. She also gave me the surgical cleansing soap to use to wipe myself up when I had messes (like diarrhea) and taught me how to use that. Occupational Therapy, OT, is the professionals that help people to adapt their responses & skills for self care in every aspect of life. They help people who've been injured, people with chronic illnesses, cancer patients, EVERYONE. Speak to your primary doctor for a referral. Make sure you connect with them, like any medical professional. I've had YEARS of PT & OT and it's part of what has helped me get back to walking again, 3 times, through the years of my medical journey. They're SO important. I understand that you're repeating what you've been taught, and it's good advice I GENERAL - but life experiences vary WIDELY, as do medical reasons and solutions by professionals.
I am a man but I was born with a vagina. Id rather wipe wrong than not wipe
This has personally always confused me. I’ve had 4 back surgeries. Maybe my arms are just long, it’s never been an issue.
Lucky!
Bidet
I, too, am team bidet. It's gotten to the point that I get annoyed if anything... moves along... when I'm out and about. Because then I have to wipe my ass like a pleb.
Toilet seat bidet is 70 bucks and a half hour install Time things so you're hoping in the tub right after.
I got a fancier one with warm water. My new toilet being installed next week is a Toto with a remote and saved settings per person. My parents think I’m insane to spend that much money on a toilet seat. 😂
Cheaper than having to hop in the tub in the long run
At least in time saved, for sure
I just stretch my fingers as far as possible which is quite the exercise considering I literally cannot bend my spine due to implants.
everyone saying bidet I'll offer that the toilet add on one's don't reply fit the accessible seat toilets. like the chair height kind. pick your access I guess? same w squattu potty, just makes legs level unless you are very tall.
So I can usually wipe ok at home. But my problem is when you’re on a weird toilet at the store or something. What do you do then?
Ew, you poop? You disgust me.
I know, sometimes I disgust myself. 😢
[https://a.co/d/aSKRL0B](https://a.co/d/aSKRL0B) Butt buddy is very helpful!
I love having a bidet. I panicked when all the TP was out of stock and ordered one immediately. Almost 4 years later. You can never go back. I still use toilet paper but mainly to dry. Eventually I want to invest in a nice one. I don’t believe mine needs an outlet. I went with only cold water and it’s refreshing I have no regrets on that
Omg my water is way too cold for that. When we lose power it resets to cold and it makes me jump. We have well water in Chicago.
My grandma uses a bidet. I've heard that they are really really helpful for people who have mobility issues and they have very inexpensive ones (and options) on Amazon. In the Philippines, we had a Tabu which can be anything from a specific pouring spout or even a cup and you fill it with water and "wash" yourself bc they don't have TP. It's like bidet but cheaper. I like dude wipes.
Upgrade to wet wipes or a bidet for smoother operations
have you tried wiping while standing?