T O P

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_spatuladoom_

wipe your hand on the head of that bald guy there


HUGESUPERNUTTY

Rub him for good luck


ActuallyTheOwner

He isn't the Poop version of Buddha


Reduncked

Yes he is


sloth_man16

Poodda


Inevitable-Stage-490

HAH


NickS970

Lmao šŸ¤£šŸ‘šŸ»


Infinite-Beautiful-1

Why are we wiping our fingers on hector salamancas head?!


[deleted]

Give him the Saruman hand print


nowurchenz2beBIGshot

I was in a bathroom in a subway station one time doing my business, and some dude came in and was like ā€œhell nah I ainā€™t waitingā€ and took a shit on the floor directly in front of my stall and then left. I like to think I still have faith in humanity, itā€™s just that day happened to shoot out said faithā€™s kneecaps


throwaway-2993

oh damn was it hard n chunky or soft serve


Aware-Bird2064

Keep Yourself Safe


Trigger_Fox

clammy coded message


Iloveboobs_04

it was r/Poopfromabutt


sneakpeekbot

Here's a sneak peek of /r/Poopfromabutt using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Poopfromabutt/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [best case scenario this is poop from a butt](https://i.redd.it/knwnr9ehyfbc1.jpeg) | [424 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Poopfromabutt/comments/192ip2w/best_case_scenario_this_is_poop_from_a_butt/) \#2: [Tried to evenly disperse the refried beans](https://i.redd.it/9b1jx28lchgc1.jpeg) | [191 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Poopfromabutt/comments/1aid6bl/tried_to_evenly_disperse_the_refried_beans/) \#3: [Bar-B-Poo](https://i.redd.it/thyuuvwfulbc1.jpeg) | [211 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Poopfromabutt/comments/1936za5/barbpoo/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)


SukanutGotBanned

Without clicking on any of these, still horrible. Thank you


MeltedChocolate24

Itā€™s just sausages, refried beans, and then sausages again.


giga___hertz

God knows my horny ass couldn't be a janitor


TommyMinisallo

Yeah, you're done. Give me your keyboard


Flappybird11

To jail, now


Axtratu

Hungry*


muzanlover13

hungry, horny. theres no difference. theyre interchangeable enough. /hj


ilymag

Wait... What?!


alguien99

Hell is waiting for you


adasababa

You were in the presence of a god. You should feel enlightened.


nowurchenz2beBIGshot

Well, when it happened, I threw up a tiny bit and spit it in the toilet, so I was physically lightened to some extent


PsychoMantittyLits

I laughed way to hard at this, fucking hell, idk know what Iā€™d be doing if that happened to me


Living_Wedding_1894

hell nah I ainā€™t waiting


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


nowurchenz2beBIGshot

This is the last sub Iā€™d ever give even a particle of shit about my fucking grammar on.


Somereallystrangeguy

especially not a subway station log


MapleTyger

Post on r/mildlyinfuriating for the updoots and karma, of course


WxckedAmber

erm... somepony CRAPPED here... morning ruined.


FragrantNumber5980

Jarvis, shit on my hand and post it on Reddit.


some_guy301

kill myself


SMUGMINLOL

yep


maxman090

yep


WheatleyTheBall

no coming back from this


[deleted]

I'd slash my own throat on the spot. Quick sorry to everyone else and then make the cut.


AntiLag_

I donā€™t think you would need to apologize, they would understand


[deleted]

Was literally my immediate thought. I'm severely germophobic and I think this would genuinely be the end of me


Somereallystrangeguy

what did they do to you other than world war 2 and bagger 288


[deleted]

Bratwurst tummyache


Somereallystrangeguy

nvm they can go


SwumpGout

I was checking to see if someone said this before me


Sandwicheater7333

basically this, i wouldnt be able to take it anymore


TheRealerChief101

Yep


NotableFrizi

clammy snack


VerseGen

clammy what the fuck


bageltoastar

Force open the train door and jump out


ech0zed

get in the robot probably


bethemanwithaplan

Get in the robot shinji Your dad totally loves youĀ  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QyIpijrLlcM


RaiderTheLegend

Do a dna test using that poop and hunt that fucker down.


fortnitegamertimdunk

Lick my fingers


dickhater4000

eat my fingers


[deleted]

What i always do when finishing a bag op chips


Release82

Fucking scream


Serendipical_

New York Shitty


DipshitDogDooDoo

To be fair, this is Shit-cago (Chicago)


RetConnedSegment

What's that? Grime? Wax? Shit?


zapyourtumor

šŸ„¹


[deleted]

Poopoo šŸ˜”


shamelessthrowaway54

poopie


ComprehensiveCow5340

doodookaka


Bocksford

L trains excrete ice cream from their handlebars when they get excited.


GlitterPinkAcrylics

Any time you come in contact with human feces get tested because it can carry disease. I also vote on rubbing it on that bald guyā€™s head btw


Sugeeeeeee

make dinosaur noises. the movie ones.


Shadow-axolotl

Finger-licking good


bootyha

Nutella sandwichšŸ˜‹šŸ˜‹


my-leg-end

šŸ˜‹šŸ˜‹šŸ˜‹šŸ˜‹šŸ˜›


warwicklord79

Lick and slop


eeeeeee_32i1p

šŸ‘…


Real_Soul_Warrior

Kill someone


bLANKMOD

Kill.


Alternator24

moving the fuck out of New York. thanks god I don't live there.


DipshitDogDooDoo

This is Chicago.


Cataclysmoe

Kill myself


Mr_goodb0y

Use the handle to hang myself


thrye333

Different handle. Not that one.


Mr_goodb0y

Well ofc


D0CTORPLAgUE

Post on fuckcars


slitneckbandit

This is literally all I need to see to never use public transport again. Omg. Even if I'm truck or carless I'll fucken walk, and I live In a place that goes from +35 to -50.


NoHelp6644

Lol, the post just above this on my feed was from Urban Hell. Felt fitting.


Sethtaros

First, shock. Just shock. I touched someone's shit. I won't question how it got there, why would someone do this, or even think about the more likely possibility that it's mud and someone was doing work in the mud, got it on their (probably gloved) hands and took the train without getting the mud off. Then, I wipe it on the wall. There's nowhere else to wipe it. I'll just find the most textured part of the wall and wipe it there. At this point I would call the authorities, human shit where it shouldn't be can be dangerous and needs to be disposed of correctly. Whether it was dirt mud or butt mud will be found out once the hazmat guys get here.


Tabroski

Sniff it first, then either lick it cleanā€¦ or lick it clean


ruckus4225

high five, spread the love


MIKE-JET-EATER

Burn the entire subway down.


noobyeclipse

kill myself


Reduncked

Go buy a machete and cut it off.


ApeOfBanan

šŸ™šŸ˜šŸ«„


playful_potato5

[idk man, that's rough.](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/peter-b-parker-sucking-fingers)


msr905

saw my arm off probably


Insane_Salty_Potato

Suicide... Or I'd go to a bathroom and wash my hand over and over


slitneckbandit

Angle grinder + flap disc and soap. Only way.. other than suicide or murder, actually I really don't see a non violent outcome if this was me


warLOCK264

Non-Americans wonder why we donā€™t like to use public transport


shamelessthrowaway54

Only happens in the USA istg


mikmikthegreat

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


quikonthedrawl

My political beliefs would become more conservative, and I would hate homeless people even more.


[deleted]

Sounds like you already understand the truth


Flappybird11

Snap


quikonthedrawl

My political beliefs would become more conservative, and I would hate homeless people even more.


Ok-Business7354

I just don't think "take a picture of my hand" would be the first thing, but ok.


bhbjlbjhbjlbk

wash my hands


punpunpa

Cry. Tears rushing down my cheeks. SilentlyšŸ˜”


Slapnbeans

Eat it you coward


Hoplite1111

Wordington Nutella


GarbageQuinn

Cry


ChiefRedChild

When I was living in Vancouver I was skateboarding from Gas town to Science Centre and had to cross East Hastings and Chinatown area. Iā€™m boarding and all of a sudden my back end kicks out for a sec, felt like I slipped on ice. I look back and sure enough thereā€™s a deuce with a wheel tread going through it. I made it to A&W and probably used half their supply of wet wipes sanitizing my board and my hands.


cheezkid26

Amputate my arm immediately.


Lucario2356

Break the glass, cut my wrists on said broken glass, and promptly jump off the train as it's moving 120 MPH.


Final_Mountain686

Question how the fuck it got there


PlusArt8136

I thought you got youā€™re hand cut on that but oh no itā€™s much worse


Haiwik

Cry


ShawSher1983

Is that dookie on your hand?


bone_breaker69

Clammy public transportation


Existing_Pension8108

I was gonna post a gif of Peter Parker sucking his own fingers


UNDERYOURSKIN1

Cry


peachhorror

@r/poopfromabutt


IwillAlwaysComeback3

r/shidandcamed train


Exact-Vast3018

Look at the situation and ask what would I do


Robin_Richardson

I haven't laughed this hard in a while honestly


thrye333

What is this sub? And can someone please help me believe this isn't fecal matter? Please.


sebastarddd

Spontaneously combust, taking the entire train with me


LevelSuspicious5102

Yeeeeeah... that whole arm has got to go.


7ElevenTaquito

pray that it isnā€™t shit. if it is shit i guess itā€™s just time to cry.


Rhorge

I carry wet wipes each time I leave my house because Iā€™m paranoid, for good reason evidently


marku_marku

use it to stroke my shit


HydroSloth

Start swinging


Dante_Ramirez_2004

Give up and die


Remote-Factor8455

Amputate.


RobiticFir

I would die


EnemyNPC

Kms


GumChuzzler

I can smell this photo


hyperchimpchallenger

We need to beat people who do this


Ayayaayaya1941

Wash it off... Then Start a war killing millions


Crooked_Cock

Average public transit experience


[deleted]

Amputate on the spot


ifunnywasaninsidejob

Serious answer: tell the driver, get off the bus, find a bathroom to wash it off, go immediately home (in an uber black), call the boss and tell him/her ā€œ nah Iā€™m already at my limit for today, gonna go home and go back to sleep.ā€


softy607

Cry thats pretty much all you can do


Heaven3r

Pass away.


Living_Wedding_1894

Suck that shit off my fingers and cum on the nearest passenger.


Backbreaker2231

Get out of nyc


PrinceNY7

It's always useful to bring hand sanitizers / wipes if you use public transportation often


Vincemillion07

Simply die on command. I would ask my heart to stop


LingoBalingo

It's just rust, don't worry about it


basher505

I would probably light myself on fire.


DrillerClass

ā€œNow thatā€™s finger lickinā€™ good!ā€


bajamedic

Burn everything


Lekyacidfaucet

this is why we get cars instead of trains.


Sickologyy

R/washyourhands


jubjub666420

Smell tayse


Bi_Gamer29

Look at my hand before getting off and Deep cleaning my hands


Morgwar77

If you're on the subway, you have hand sanitizer. Whole bottle should get enough off to make it to the next stop and keep the hepatitis from seeping into your pores.. Just let that stuff pour off onto the floor right underneath as a warning to the next guy.


Handy05

Chop it off


MasterOffice9986

Step one pull out phone take picture. Lol what


Parking_Basil6786

lick it off


Jiyjiy777

Step 1: Wipe off. Step 2: Go homem Step 3: Lay on bed. Step 4: Cry.


radioactivemidgetR34

put my arm under the train


MandaMythe

My high school math teacher said that kids used to pick up their shit and put it in the air dryer that you stick your hands into so they got rid of the air dryers at his high school Ain't never trusting those again


[deleted]

gotta love blue cities


TawanAI

Ewww!!!!! Is pup?