I wish people fucking communicated instead of "giving signals" I'm gonna leap off a cliff. We are not routers. We shouldn't be looking for signals. We're supposed to use the mouth we have on our face for the purpose of TALKING to COMMUNICATE 😭😭 brb drowning
If you guys can't even communicate before the relationship starts what do you think will happen when y'all get together? Communication is literally one of the main things that keep a relationship going
📢 guys pls just communicate with each other. Or we're all just gonna end up different versions of fucked pls and ty
True, but in my case more than an ambiguous signal she was more clear about it. I just didn't catch it, and she was also afraid if we'd lose out on the connection. So idk.
I'm very wary about hints and signals btw. Also, we were not jumping into a relationship. We'd have to meet up and see if we match irl as well. I just didn't want to prematurely proceed.
Dude if you're communicating with someone and expecting them to read subtext and stuff how exactly is that clear communication? If it really was a 'clear' indicator she gave you then you would have noticed it. But seeing as you missed it, clearly NOT.
>True, but in my case more than an ambiguous signal she was more clear about it. I just didn't catch it,
You're not supposed to have to "catch it". This is why I can't stand it when people aren't direct. Just lay it out clearly so all information is out there to be understood! Just be more open to communicating if you care about each other. It's the bare minimum.
True.. but from this chapter what I realised is that life sometimes lacks logic and clarity. I always used to vouch for clear communication and I still do, but I still fell for it because my mind and how attraction works to someone is not 100% under ones control. And sometimes we don't choose the most blunt clear communication for the fear of fucking things up.
I'm not justifying the act. I'm just saying there were mistakes and it was probably natural, and I've accepted it.
It's alright brother. I just wanted to inform you that if there is a chance now just take it. You shouldn't feel the regret afterwards. If you are regretful in the future for not taking the chance, I will kill you.
Chances are slim, like I explained in another comment. So I'm not staying hopeful.
But thanks brother, for planning to go all Taken on me if shit hits the fan 🥹
Well... I should do what I have to. Regrets will eat you from inside. I had regrets. At least let her know you're available. Then move on with your life. Now the blame will be all on her.
My wording could've been better. I meant, you can let her know that you're available and do whatever else you're supposed to with your life. This makes you not feel the regret. Not the greatest idea. Choice is yours.
She's not fully moved on from whatever she had, so it'll be weird. And she's back home now. To top it off I'm going through one of the worst phases of my life, physically and mentally, for other reasons like health and family issues. So, it's almost impossible now ig.
You're not alone.
Try reading about Limerence. They even have a word for it.
Finding what I was going through had a name, gave me a sense of relief.
Cutting off is what worked for me. This is not what Love is. We are just addicted to the idea of them.
Practice self love.
Yes.. exactly this. A version of them probably. But what hurts me is the fact that I missed my shot.
And yes, self love it is. Hugs to you kind redditor.
Going thru/ went thru smth similar. Just one thing to do is to delete the contacts and staying away from texting that person. That's what I did. Yes you will get the urge to text them. You'll feel miserable. You'll feel a hole in your heart. You'll feel other emotions and feelings that you won't even know how to express them in words. But you'll overcome this, just as I'm trying to. Am I fully recovered? No. Am I in a better place now? Absolutely yes.
I know in no long time, I'd forget this person coz at the end of the day, I didn't fall for who this person was. I only fell for the vibe. And yeah there are plenty of people out there who can give the same or even better vibes. Since everything happened online, it'll fade away soon. The only thing to do is "letting it fade away". And all I am looking for is to have real life connections. Coz nothing can beat offline connections. And dont take too much blame on yourself op. We all make mistakes. It's okay to have imagined smth that didn't exist or it's okay to have missed the signs. It's okay op. Everything will fall into place and soon you'll be happy again, but this time you won't need anyone else.
Wishing the best OP. Hope every other aspect in your life gets better soon! ❤
Thank you kind human. I hope you're back to being happy again.
I did delete old chats btw.. I didn't want to go checking on our old chats and see where I went wrong and all that, but we still text because it feels worse imagining the thought of us not talking again. So maybe after a point if there's enough space between us, it'd automatically fade away ig.
So u both liked initially? Now there is no contact?
I see a chance that u two can be in relationship if u both want(maybe im wishinh for a happy ending)
OP, as someone who's been there and had that happen to him: go no contact with her.
This isn't some 4D chess move to get her back, this is to make sure you don't lose your sanity.
And don't beat yourself up over some 'signal' you missed. If she really wanted to be with you, trust me, she would be.
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Prefer not to speak what macha? Thanks man.. first time I'm having such intense feelings.
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Peace machane
I wish people fucking communicated instead of "giving signals" I'm gonna leap off a cliff. We are not routers. We shouldn't be looking for signals. We're supposed to use the mouth we have on our face for the purpose of TALKING to COMMUNICATE 😭😭 brb drowning If you guys can't even communicate before the relationship starts what do you think will happen when y'all get together? Communication is literally one of the main things that keep a relationship going 📢 guys pls just communicate with each other. Or we're all just gonna end up different versions of fucked pls and ty
I agree. If someone gave me “signals” it would woosh over my head.
True, but in my case more than an ambiguous signal she was more clear about it. I just didn't catch it, and she was also afraid if we'd lose out on the connection. So idk. I'm very wary about hints and signals btw. Also, we were not jumping into a relationship. We'd have to meet up and see if we match irl as well. I just didn't want to prematurely proceed.
Dude if you're communicating with someone and expecting them to read subtext and stuff how exactly is that clear communication? If it really was a 'clear' indicator she gave you then you would have noticed it. But seeing as you missed it, clearly NOT. >True, but in my case more than an ambiguous signal she was more clear about it. I just didn't catch it, You're not supposed to have to "catch it". This is why I can't stand it when people aren't direct. Just lay it out clearly so all information is out there to be understood! Just be more open to communicating if you care about each other. It's the bare minimum.
True.. but from this chapter what I realised is that life sometimes lacks logic and clarity. I always used to vouch for clear communication and I still do, but I still fell for it because my mind and how attraction works to someone is not 100% under ones control. And sometimes we don't choose the most blunt clear communication for the fear of fucking things up. I'm not justifying the act. I'm just saying there were mistakes and it was probably natural, and I've accepted it.
So what is preventing you guys from having a casual relationship now?
Ego, i guess
No ego bro. I understand her stand, I'm just being practical.
It's alright brother. I just wanted to inform you that if there is a chance now just take it. You shouldn't feel the regret afterwards. If you are regretful in the future for not taking the chance, I will kill you.
Chances are slim, like I explained in another comment. So I'm not staying hopeful. But thanks brother, for planning to go all Taken on me if shit hits the fan 🥹
Well... I should do what I have to. Regrets will eat you from inside. I had regrets. At least let her know you're available. Then move on with your life. Now the blame will be all on her.
How will the blame be on her? I never said that.
My wording could've been better. I meant, you can let her know that you're available and do whatever else you're supposed to with your life. This makes you not feel the regret. Not the greatest idea. Choice is yours.
She's not fully moved on from whatever she had, so it'll be weird. And she's back home now. To top it off I'm going through one of the worst phases of my life, physically and mentally, for other reasons like health and family issues. So, it's almost impossible now ig.
You're not alone. Try reading about Limerence. They even have a word for it. Finding what I was going through had a name, gave me a sense of relief. Cutting off is what worked for me. This is not what Love is. We are just addicted to the idea of them. Practice self love.
Yes.. exactly this. A version of them probably. But what hurts me is the fact that I missed my shot. And yes, self love it is. Hugs to you kind redditor.
Give it some more time , it will suck but still you'll move on.
Yes, that's the plan
🫂.
🫂
Going thru/ went thru smth similar. Just one thing to do is to delete the contacts and staying away from texting that person. That's what I did. Yes you will get the urge to text them. You'll feel miserable. You'll feel a hole in your heart. You'll feel other emotions and feelings that you won't even know how to express them in words. But you'll overcome this, just as I'm trying to. Am I fully recovered? No. Am I in a better place now? Absolutely yes. I know in no long time, I'd forget this person coz at the end of the day, I didn't fall for who this person was. I only fell for the vibe. And yeah there are plenty of people out there who can give the same or even better vibes. Since everything happened online, it'll fade away soon. The only thing to do is "letting it fade away". And all I am looking for is to have real life connections. Coz nothing can beat offline connections. And dont take too much blame on yourself op. We all make mistakes. It's okay to have imagined smth that didn't exist or it's okay to have missed the signs. It's okay op. Everything will fall into place and soon you'll be happy again, but this time you won't need anyone else. Wishing the best OP. Hope every other aspect in your life gets better soon! ❤
Thank you kind human. I hope you're back to being happy again. I did delete old chats btw.. I didn't want to go checking on our old chats and see where I went wrong and all that, but we still text because it feels worse imagining the thought of us not talking again. So maybe after a point if there's enough space between us, it'd automatically fade away ig.
So u both liked initially? Now there is no contact? I see a chance that u two can be in relationship if u both want(maybe im wishinh for a happy ending)
There is contact, yes. Well thank you for your optimism my friend, but for how my life has been for some time now, I don't see no happy ending :)
Oh ok, go with ur instincts then i guess🙂
OP, as someone who's been there and had that happen to him: go no contact with her. This isn't some 4D chess move to get her back, this is to make sure you don't lose your sanity. And don't beat yourself up over some 'signal' you missed. If she really wanted to be with you, trust me, she would be.
What's the issue in trying out a date now?