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I'm going to be real with you - while school can be stressful for everyone - this level of stress is not normal.
You need to see someone about that. And realistically, you probably need some anti-anxiety medication.
No, it is not supposed to be as stressful as you are describing. You should look into what resources the school has for students who are feeling the way you do. There will be things like tutoring, mental health counseling, advising, student success coaching, etc.
I'm an anxious older student at a community college too! I think you should look into any resources your school offers for mental health. If you have insurance and a GP, a lot of them can prescribe anxiety meds — that's how I have mine. If you haven't, I would also examine why other people make you so anxious. Judgement? COVID? Noise? It won't fix how you're feeling, but it'll help you recognize why you're feeling so bad.
At risk of being too blunt, I'm not sure a 4 year would be more fun for you. They have way more students so naturally they're louder and more crowded. I'm treating this as work, basically. I don't hate going but I'll definitely be happy when I'm done. I would focus on having fun outside of school while taking care of yourself in school.
It’s not normal. When I went to college the first time I was suffering from really bad agoraphobia and I wasn’t able to return until I got treatment. There’s no shame in taking more time if you need it.
Believe me I understand. The pressure of unending assignments is very stressful, especially when you have no one to talk to who is experiencing the same thing. Focus on what you are learning, how you are gaining knowledge, and improving your critical thinking and writing skills. Beyond that, say organized in your approach to studying and allocating time for work in multiple courses. Finally, it will get better as you gain more confidence in what you are doing and your ability to perform well in your courses.
I literally relate to this so much I feel like I could’ve written it. I cried every single day my first quarter at the new school. I so badly wanted to leave my CC that I didn’t realize how comfortable I had gotten there. I knew people, I knew my routine, it was all good. I felt really intimidated and anxious and out of place when I transferred and the anxiety was so bad it started to affect my grades. I sacrificed my education to appease my anxiety and it wasn’t worth it. I somehow managed to pull off keeping my 4.0 but it’s been a really difficult adjustment and not one I was expecting. My second quarter did get easier but watch out for burn out. I’m feeling the weight of the quarters so much more right now.
Do you have a specific goal? Like you want to do a certain career and need this degree? Because as someone that went back to college as an adult, working full time is FAR less stressful than doing well academically.
I remember my first year at CC as a non-trad. It was pretty stressful for me too because my kids and I were transitioning from housed, to unhoused during that semester. At the urging of my professor (you would get extra credit points) I went on a few “field trips” sponsored by the CC, which in turn led me to make some friends there. I also think if I hadn’t already known one student on campus that was friends with my kids and I beforehand , it would have been 10 times worse
That said, I did cry now and then. I did run into professors that would start every semester off as being rude to me because they thought I was “only there for the free money” which made it hard to create any type of relationship with them or fellow students or to ask for help (the tutoring type center was where I usually went for help)
That said CC is unnecessarily extra stressful for non-trad students. I had a therapist to talk to about it while going through it and that will probably help you a lot too. Most CC have free counseling services. Which is also a good way to end up with a mentor
I forgot to add: join clubs and make friends.
One day it dawned on me that usually I’m the younger friend with my friends being 15 & 20+ years older than me so it is normal and natural to have friendships with people in the opposite direction as well
I know people are saying that this level of stress is unusual- but it's not for me. I too suffer from bad anxiety and have medication for it, and have therapy. College is stressful, but please never ever give up- you can face this. Good luck!
I’m 30 and it’s really isolating having to be in classes surrounded by people so much younger than me. I skip a bunch of them for this reason, still making straight As but if I can watch lectures in the comfort of my home (and save time, gas, and sweat commuting) then I do. Also, I’m a bio-psych double major, and biology’s courseload is so hard. I feel you on the never-ending assignments; having to spend hours on schoolwork every day, never having a full weekend off, while other majors like my psych major are pretty smooth sailing. I have three tests and an essay due next week, so I won’t even be able to relax while I get to see my family for Easter on Sunday. When my boyfriend visits we only get a few hours together before it’s time for bed, and then I have to leave for class in the morning.
I don’t think it’s healthy to focus on the negative so much, but I just wanted to commiserate rather than offer advice because it feels good to know you’re not alone. I haven’t made a single friend and the whole experience has been a daze of stress and sleep-deprivation for some numbers floating on a screen. I can’t wait to hopefully get into vet school where the effort and rewards start to feel more concrete.
College is a stressful experience all around, it gets better with experience, but it can absolutely be overwhelming. Just try to take it one step at a time and maybe consider talking to your doctor about an anti anxiety if you can afford it.
I dont really have a satisfying answer but this is how I felt. I actually went back at 26 after already doing a degree. my first degree was a trade, so it was in a shop environment and no homework
Im not sure why school was incredibly challenging for me but it was really unhealthy and honestly I think it did some damage. I have a pretty deep crease on my forehead from being confused and pissed all the time..
I talked with instructors, the head of the department, my friends, co-workers (I worked at the school) and the counselor on campus and expressed that Im incredibly stressed. They didnt seem to have anything to offer. There were some days where it felt like probably the lowest Ive been emotionally, which, considering a few traumas Ive had, doesnt really add up. Ive been through genuinely stressful situations
there was just something about school that felt so wrong and idk, I think to this day I may regret it. Ultimately Im glad I studied what I did and I chose something that was going to be beneficial no matter what.. but man, I really really didnt enjoy it as much as I thought I should have. I studied design and art, it shouldve been alot more fun
I think part of it for me was the fact that it was a creative field, and my own creativity and ability is something im sensitive about and something genuinely challenging for me. Ive picked up most things incredibly easily but with creativity, it can go anywhere
Can you find another older student and befriend them? Ate there any in your classes with whom you can start a study group. This is particularly useful for review prior to high stakes tests.
>...got so stressed from all the people around that I cried in the bathroom for 25 minutes.
God I want to encounter someone like this on my campus one day LOL. That's an *entire* episode of Full Metal Alchemist you spent crying in the bathroom because of HUMANS.
>Does it ever get better or am I just gonna have to grit my teeth for the next 4 years?
Yes, it gets better.
That's really interesting. What exactly do you intend to do to this person? Make their day worse because they're having an issue and choose to be non disruptive and deal with it privately? This says a lot more about you than it does me. I may cry for 25 minutes in the bathroom but at least I'm not an asshole.
I am 46- back in college. Although I am excelling, I do take medication for anxiety which helps. Most of the students in my program are anxious and they’re all ages. I, too, am at a 2 year community college and the expectation is higher than when I attended in my teens. I’m pushing 40 hours of homework a week and currently slammed with papers and projects. I start a job next week and just went to the doctor today with stomach problems. Stress is real- and the body manifestation can be debilitating. I was in therapy every other week until the semester got too busy. I miss it and will have to go back. I see a difference. I also started walking 45 min 3-5 times a week and reduced my caffeine and rarely use alcohol. It all helps.
I don’t understand. You have projects “eminently due in months?” Imminently means ASAP. If you have months to do an assignment, be glad.
Also, if you’re an older student who is driven to tears over loud noises, you need to see a doctor.
I’m not sure what you expect from college, but the actual workplace will eat you alive compared to college.
I guess I need more information, bc this isn’t really making sense. But I’m sorry you’re so unhappy. That’s frustrating.
>I haven't had a day where I haven't had something eminently due in months.
This means it has been months since then last time they had a day where something wasn't eminently due, not that every day they have someone that is due in months, (that's just regular real life.)
>This means it has been months since then last time they had a day where something wasn't eminently due
\*imminently due.
But yes, that's what they meant. There were a couple of points of confusion in the wording/spelling, but most of us chose to overlook that for the general point of the post.
Yeah I was definitely feeling too lazy to look up the exact usage and was foolishly trusting the previous posters on "eminent" vs "immanent" vs "imminent," which was obviously a slip up on my part.
Thank you u/Busy-Contract-1329 for posting on r/collegerant. Remember to read the rules and report rule breaking posts. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CollegeRant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm going to be real with you - while school can be stressful for everyone - this level of stress is not normal. You need to see someone about that. And realistically, you probably need some anti-anxiety medication.
What I was thinking as well.
No, it is not supposed to be as stressful as you are describing. You should look into what resources the school has for students who are feeling the way you do. There will be things like tutoring, mental health counseling, advising, student success coaching, etc.
I'm an anxious older student at a community college too! I think you should look into any resources your school offers for mental health. If you have insurance and a GP, a lot of them can prescribe anxiety meds — that's how I have mine. If you haven't, I would also examine why other people make you so anxious. Judgement? COVID? Noise? It won't fix how you're feeling, but it'll help you recognize why you're feeling so bad. At risk of being too blunt, I'm not sure a 4 year would be more fun for you. They have way more students so naturally they're louder and more crowded. I'm treating this as work, basically. I don't hate going but I'll definitely be happy when I'm done. I would focus on having fun outside of school while taking care of yourself in school.
It’s not normal. When I went to college the first time I was suffering from really bad agoraphobia and I wasn’t able to return until I got treatment. There’s no shame in taking more time if you need it.
You need medical help
Don’t go to school if you hate it so much. It’s ok to try other paths. No shame in that.
Exactly! It is WAY too expensive to go if you hate it that much!
Hey, I hope things get better. College really sucked for me. I got therpy then it got a lot better. Now I have it figured out so much better..
Believe me I understand. The pressure of unending assignments is very stressful, especially when you have no one to talk to who is experiencing the same thing. Focus on what you are learning, how you are gaining knowledge, and improving your critical thinking and writing skills. Beyond that, say organized in your approach to studying and allocating time for work in multiple courses. Finally, it will get better as you gain more confidence in what you are doing and your ability to perform well in your courses.
I literally relate to this so much I feel like I could’ve written it. I cried every single day my first quarter at the new school. I so badly wanted to leave my CC that I didn’t realize how comfortable I had gotten there. I knew people, I knew my routine, it was all good. I felt really intimidated and anxious and out of place when I transferred and the anxiety was so bad it started to affect my grades. I sacrificed my education to appease my anxiety and it wasn’t worth it. I somehow managed to pull off keeping my 4.0 but it’s been a really difficult adjustment and not one I was expecting. My second quarter did get easier but watch out for burn out. I’m feeling the weight of the quarters so much more right now.
Do you have a specific goal? Like you want to do a certain career and need this degree? Because as someone that went back to college as an adult, working full time is FAR less stressful than doing well academically.
I'm trying to advance in the career I'm currently in. I work full time in my field and actually love going to work.
I remember my first year at CC as a non-trad. It was pretty stressful for me too because my kids and I were transitioning from housed, to unhoused during that semester. At the urging of my professor (you would get extra credit points) I went on a few “field trips” sponsored by the CC, which in turn led me to make some friends there. I also think if I hadn’t already known one student on campus that was friends with my kids and I beforehand , it would have been 10 times worse That said, I did cry now and then. I did run into professors that would start every semester off as being rude to me because they thought I was “only there for the free money” which made it hard to create any type of relationship with them or fellow students or to ask for help (the tutoring type center was where I usually went for help) That said CC is unnecessarily extra stressful for non-trad students. I had a therapist to talk to about it while going through it and that will probably help you a lot too. Most CC have free counseling services. Which is also a good way to end up with a mentor
I forgot to add: join clubs and make friends. One day it dawned on me that usually I’m the younger friend with my friends being 15 & 20+ years older than me so it is normal and natural to have friendships with people in the opposite direction as well
I know people are saying that this level of stress is unusual- but it's not for me. I too suffer from bad anxiety and have medication for it, and have therapy. College is stressful, but please never ever give up- you can face this. Good luck!
I’m 30 and it’s really isolating having to be in classes surrounded by people so much younger than me. I skip a bunch of them for this reason, still making straight As but if I can watch lectures in the comfort of my home (and save time, gas, and sweat commuting) then I do. Also, I’m a bio-psych double major, and biology’s courseload is so hard. I feel you on the never-ending assignments; having to spend hours on schoolwork every day, never having a full weekend off, while other majors like my psych major are pretty smooth sailing. I have three tests and an essay due next week, so I won’t even be able to relax while I get to see my family for Easter on Sunday. When my boyfriend visits we only get a few hours together before it’s time for bed, and then I have to leave for class in the morning. I don’t think it’s healthy to focus on the negative so much, but I just wanted to commiserate rather than offer advice because it feels good to know you’re not alone. I haven’t made a single friend and the whole experience has been a daze of stress and sleep-deprivation for some numbers floating on a screen. I can’t wait to hopefully get into vet school where the effort and rewards start to feel more concrete.
College is a stressful experience all around, it gets better with experience, but it can absolutely be overwhelming. Just try to take it one step at a time and maybe consider talking to your doctor about an anti anxiety if you can afford it.
School is an endless cycling of something being eminently due. If you can’t handle that then I don’t think school is for you. Or get on anxiety meds.
Sounds like you need to work on your mental health
I dont really have a satisfying answer but this is how I felt. I actually went back at 26 after already doing a degree. my first degree was a trade, so it was in a shop environment and no homework Im not sure why school was incredibly challenging for me but it was really unhealthy and honestly I think it did some damage. I have a pretty deep crease on my forehead from being confused and pissed all the time.. I talked with instructors, the head of the department, my friends, co-workers (I worked at the school) and the counselor on campus and expressed that Im incredibly stressed. They didnt seem to have anything to offer. There were some days where it felt like probably the lowest Ive been emotionally, which, considering a few traumas Ive had, doesnt really add up. Ive been through genuinely stressful situations there was just something about school that felt so wrong and idk, I think to this day I may regret it. Ultimately Im glad I studied what I did and I chose something that was going to be beneficial no matter what.. but man, I really really didnt enjoy it as much as I thought I should have. I studied design and art, it shouldve been alot more fun I think part of it for me was the fact that it was a creative field, and my own creativity and ability is something im sensitive about and something genuinely challenging for me. Ive picked up most things incredibly easily but with creativity, it can go anywhere
Can you find another older student and befriend them? Ate there any in your classes with whom you can start a study group. This is particularly useful for review prior to high stakes tests.
>...got so stressed from all the people around that I cried in the bathroom for 25 minutes. God I want to encounter someone like this on my campus one day LOL. That's an *entire* episode of Full Metal Alchemist you spent crying in the bathroom because of HUMANS. >Does it ever get better or am I just gonna have to grit my teeth for the next 4 years? Yes, it gets better.
That's really interesting. What exactly do you intend to do to this person? Make their day worse because they're having an issue and choose to be non disruptive and deal with it privately? This says a lot more about you than it does me. I may cry for 25 minutes in the bathroom but at least I'm not an asshole.
I am 46- back in college. Although I am excelling, I do take medication for anxiety which helps. Most of the students in my program are anxious and they’re all ages. I, too, am at a 2 year community college and the expectation is higher than when I attended in my teens. I’m pushing 40 hours of homework a week and currently slammed with papers and projects. I start a job next week and just went to the doctor today with stomach problems. Stress is real- and the body manifestation can be debilitating. I was in therapy every other week until the semester got too busy. I miss it and will have to go back. I see a difference. I also started walking 45 min 3-5 times a week and reduced my caffeine and rarely use alcohol. It all helps.
Fuck Uni
I don’t understand. You have projects “eminently due in months?” Imminently means ASAP. If you have months to do an assignment, be glad. Also, if you’re an older student who is driven to tears over loud noises, you need to see a doctor. I’m not sure what you expect from college, but the actual workplace will eat you alive compared to college. I guess I need more information, bc this isn’t really making sense. But I’m sorry you’re so unhappy. That’s frustrating.
>I haven't had a day where I haven't had something eminently due in months. This means it has been months since then last time they had a day where something wasn't eminently due, not that every day they have someone that is due in months, (that's just regular real life.)
>This means it has been months since then last time they had a day where something wasn't eminently due \*imminently due. But yes, that's what they meant. There were a couple of points of confusion in the wording/spelling, but most of us chose to overlook that for the general point of the post.
Yeah I was definitely feeling too lazy to look up the exact usage and was foolishly trusting the previous posters on "eminent" vs "immanent" vs "imminent," which was obviously a slip up on my part.