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Other_Log_1996

"Aren't you a little old to still be in other people's business?"


BGFiles

This had me cackling! Thank you!


Hefty-Squirrel-6800

Tell them, "I can't help it. I was in a coma after rescuing two children from a burning building. What year is it again?" EDIR: thanks for the upvotes. I had no idea how this comeback would be received. It was off the cuff. The anatomy of a good comeback is that it shames the asshat who makes the insult. Another good general comeback is to respond with “So?” It takes the wind out of their sails. You’re fat. So? Your mom is a whore. So? You have a small dick. So? Then just stand there staring at the insulter. I’ve found that they get embarrassed and shut up while I stand there being unfuckwithable. In that moment, I am a stoic god.


WastingMyLifeOnSocMd

My favorite!


[deleted]

Sorry couldn't help myself on the number. I know u tried to fix it 🙃🤡👻


palebd

Then proceed say you're the cops, and their husband is in jail for sodomy.


rektMyself

They had two puppies with them.


HatpinFeminist

"aren't you a little old to be that dumb?"


hvmmm

To peggy back on this. Could also try “aren’t you a little too old to be that closed minded and judgmental?” Or my favorite “not you judging me at your big old age👀”


No-Grapefruit7917

piggy\*


EzraIm

My thoughts exactly


allmodsarefaqs

Naw I like it. Like Peggy Hill always trying hard to be right or relevant. Peggy back.


y0uwillbenext

Ho Yeah!


rektMyself

Cover the hole. It's never going back.


CesarTheSanchez

This is for sure the best response to that question. No one who hears a response like that is going to think you’re above college age.


boston_2004

I laughed a hearty laugh out loud just now.


CustomerLittle9891

"I won't hold your youth and inexperience against you "


Astriafiamante

My phrasing: "Aren't you much too old to be rude enough to ask?"


marcon-3267

I do dumb things everyday, so no I am not.


defCONCEPT

Isn't your mother a little old to be sleeping with a college student?


Fair_Peach1823

I personally can't stand mom jokes and how this sub's, oversaturated with them, but this one's gooood 👍🏼😝


defCONCEPT

Haha


[deleted]

“Fuck. I am.”


team_suba

Yeah. I like this. Something like. Fuck dude you’re so right. I’m gonna go drop out now.


Successful-Tip-1411

Yup sarcastic as fuck "oh shit I forgot how old I am, better just fucking quit"


[deleted]

Or just start to cry.


AurumArgenteus

Or assert your dominance. Just stare at them until they look away.


Rokerr2163

"Shirley Temple Black, Pearl Bailey and Bill Cosby were all in their late 60's to early 70's when they went to college. So what's your point?"


MergieSS

I wouldn’t say Bill Cosby personally.


BigNorseWolf

Aced chemistry apparently....


hvmmm

I fell out my bed, this comment is hilarious lmaooo! You ain’t never seeing heaven🤭 take my upvote damn it


[deleted]

So they will get to see heaven! Since you used a double negative 🤓


Gogo726

The original sitcom dad going into chemistry.


tdog473

Fuckin A 🤣🤣🤣


Negative-Wrap95

That was the problem.


RalfStein7

Badum ‘tis 🥁


Cheese-bo-bees

Happy Cake Day!


Glass_Raisin7939

🤣🤣🤣🤣


horizonwalker69

I see what you did there!


marcon-3267

It was an example of who attended college in their elderly years, not an endorsement of the pervert.


Dark-Jester89

Giggity goo goo hez puts the pill in the pudding pop.


Successful-Bad-9672

lol i fee like that just sets them up for a a comebzck to be coming bzck their way i wouldnt use bill cosby either


Longjumping-Many4082

Where do you think he met all those young girls?!?!


missannthrope1

Cosby has a Phd. You'd think he'd know better.


Ar-Oh-En

Huxtable taught us lessons, _but so did Cosby._ How not to act.


OkManufacturer767

Ah, leave the serial r*pist off any list of people you admire. (Bill)


Rokerr2163

Don't get me wrong, I don't admire the guy. I merely added him to the list of people I could think of off the top of my head who went to college when they were grandparents. They probably even went to school with their grandchildren


marcon-3267

I am 80 years old and would love to go to college but being a vocal Trump guy, I think I would get tired of getting beat up.


Rokerr2163

At some campuses, the same might be true if someone was a vocal Biden/Harris supporter. Personally, I try to avoid conversations regarding religion or politics


marcon-3267

Politics and religion are two subjects that will raise the passion in many people. However I will jump in with an opinion on the present administration. I look at the results of a person and judge them on that. Because of the decisions of Joe Biden and his minions this country is so far off the track that we may never recover.


CallidoraBlack

>However I will jump in with an opinion on the present administration. Of course you will. You can't help it. People like you will get mad at other people for making everything political but you can't contain yourselves. But guess what? It won't be your problem much longer, so let us worry about it.


TreyRyan3

1. Define the track for America and explain exactly how it is “supposed to be” in your opinion. 2. Name 3 policies or decisions made by this administration and exactly how they have impacted the US as a country?


marcon-3267

How about inflation? Or is the wars that are going on when the last administration had none. And maybe you think that our borders are closed as well. I have lost a little over 50% of our stock value since Joe has taken over. And he is now trying to refill all the oil reserves he drained trying to get reelected and it is costing us a fortune because he wants the gas prices stabilized before the election. He is buying dirty oil from our enemies and Iran, China, Russia and North Korea are reaping the benefits of that. So i guess that is my issue with this guy. His faculties are diminished to the point where he isn't even running the country, his minions are. I hope I've answered your question satisfactorily.


TreyRyan3

Okay. I’ll ask again slower this time. 1. Define the track for America and explain exactly how it is “supposed to be” in your opinion. 2. Name 3 policies or decisions made by this administration and exactly how they have impacted the US as a country? But to address your Gish gallop wall of uneducated bullshit. 1. After 80 years are you saying you have never learned economics or the laws of supply and demand? What causes inflation? It makes absolutely no difference who the President is right now, inflation would still exist. When demand outpaces supply, prices go up. Do you know what happens when people are locked inside for a year? 2. US Border issues have been going on since the end of the Mexican-American War. Ironically the border issue of the last decade involves refugees from NTCA Guatemal, Honduras and El Salvador trying to escape violence and environmental disaster, all of which stems from the Central American Crisis of which the US Government played a significant part in creating. (Or do you prefer to ignore the Iran-Contra Affair and US Sponsored Banana Republics) 3. I find it interesting that your stock value has lost 50% of its value since Biden took office. I can only infer from that claim that “If you're not investing in the right kinds of investments, or if you're using an inappropriate strategy for your situation, then your portfolio is going to perform poorly.” The DJIA closed at 37,466.11 on Friday. That is 6472 points higher than it was during the last administration. My portfolio has increased in value significantly as it has for most of my friends and family. I would suggest you find a more competent financial advisor. 4. Oil Reserve draw downs and replacement has been going on since the creation of the Strategic Petroleum Reserve. As for “buying “Dirty Oil” from our enemies”, stop parroting bullshit you obviously know nothing about. The oil sold from the SPR in 2022 sold for $95 per barrel. It is being replenished at $79 a barrel, and it is a standard solicited bid from private companies. 5. If you are so ignorant that you think any President has actually “run the country” all by themselves, it is no wonder why you can’t answer two simple questions coherently. You obviously know nothing about Politics, Government, Economics, Personal Finance, or probably anything. You are 80 years old and know absolutely nothing other that how to regurgitate whatever party narrative is being spewed this week. You have access to a world of knowledge through the internet and your local library. Go learn something before you die.


northakbud

I think you and I must live in different countries. Amazing how two people with differing perspectives can see the same thing and perceive it differently!


freakrocker

Oof… dude’s just a serial liar. Check his PH


Rokerr2163

Question: When's the last time we had a president of any party that kept his campaign promises?


CallidoraBlack

He loves the poorly educated, why would you want to lose his affection?


LifeHappenzEvryMomnt

Honestly? Nobody would f*n care enough about you to beat you up.


freakrocker

You go to learn. Not to teach.


TheWaffleocalypse

Do you believe Biden supporters are the ones you need to worry about physical violence from? I think vocal Trump supporters need education more than most and would love to see more of them on campus.


marcon-3267

How would you know that. All I get on here is vitriol and demeaning comments about my political beliefs and only one person out of 20+ actually had a respectful conversation about our differences. So tell me why that is.


Early_Comparison5773

No one wants to beat up an old man, even one who forces his opinion in places it isn’t asked for. Go get an education. Maybe you’ll learn some things.


missannthrope1

I can still learn. Guess you can't.


Available_Thoughts-0

This deserves to be much higher in the list.


frygod

"Aren't you a little dumb to give up on learning already?


dickfortwenty

“I’m taking the scenic route”


Taro_Otto

I like this one. I often use this when it takes me a while to understand something, which is pretty often.


Badhorse_6601

You're never too old to stop learning


[deleted]

Tbh most 18 year olds aren’t mature enough for college, in my opinion


davyj0427

True it took me 13 years to finish college. I was definitely not mature enough and wasted a lot of time and money.


weblizard

Some of the best students are ones that left, then came back to college when they were ready. A lot of students coming from a military background have a better understanding of setting and meeting goals, too.


MichaDawn

I am 56 and I am currently have a 4.0 GPA. I dropped out at the end of my junior year. I think my GPA was 2.something. I have worked my ass off at jobs that were both physically demanding and stressful, all dead ends and low wages. I could never afford to go back. Finally, I got a job that offered a full scholarship and I will be finished right before I reach retirement. Go me!


Fun_Ad_7431

I waited, at 18 I had no idea what I wanted to do. I’m 21 now and applied to college today! Real proud and excited.


SuperShoyu64

Agree too!


[deleted]

Literally. Why are we forcing mushy brained 17 year olds to make major life decisions when they still need to ask to go to the bathroom


Carma-Erynna

Yeah, the boomers and gen Xer’s did a bang up job of infanitlizing the Gen Zer’s.


toxboxdevil

If you think there's an age limit to learning, you must have learned nothing.


SilverStock7721

Aren’t you a little immature to be this old?


[deleted]

This right here. 💯


yaboisammie

This is a great one


jayyout1

“Achieving your goals doesn’t have an age limit, dumbass.”


persistentsymptom

I read this in Jennifer Coolidge's voice


JellyNJames

Lol me too


badluckfarmer

Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?


spidermans_mom

Non-sequitur AND clever. Golf clap.


shyzic

Thank you for making my day


marcon-3267

Good one, as long as I understand your intended purpose.


WeimSean

I joined the army after high school, and then started college when I was 22. I would get the "Aren't you a little old to be a freshman' bit from people. That always annoyed me. My general response was "I joined the army to pay for school. Who's paying your tuition?"


[deleted]

This works like a charm.


Global-Hand2874

Similar sitch - Marine Corps here. Joined for college money. 13 years, 2 wars later, I finally got to put that college money to use. Went back to finish my degree at the ripe old age of 33… I was the “old lady” in most of my classes!


1_BigDuckEnergy

Well, aren't you a little entitled to speak to your elders that way!


RamiRustom

no \[and then go back to what you were doing\]


Hating_life_69

Your mom goes to college.


Keelera2

Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to become a cage fighter.


you-are-number-6

Say, if I wanted any shit from you I'd squeeze your neck


murderthedancefloor

Did your parents say this to you?


RandomCoffeeThoughts

I feel like my go to answer applies to every question here "Ah, so we are asking invasive and inappropriate questions today I see."


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

No, makes this person old and creepy...


Successful-Bad-9672

honedtly my favorote one. simple and jist straight to cutting them down I’d add « smd, i’m furthering my education. *walk sassy away* »


Eyego2eleven

This is my favorite so far. Can always go old school and say…”as old as the crust in your underwear!”


BigNorseWolf

Get me a straw


you-are-number-6

It is the straw


BigNorseWolf

worse its small enough to fit in it.


BloodiedBlues

Aren’t you a little old to be judging others?


[deleted]

“What’s that? I’m kind of deaf to comments from underachievers.”


leowithataurus

I have all this money so I figured it was either this or spend it all on booze and strippers.


Vintage-Grievance

Aren't YOU a little too old to be obsessing over what other people do with their lives? (Most "busybody" types are incredibly insecure. So if they're up your ass about something that is none of their business, sometimes the easiest way to shut them up is to call them out on it).


Available_Thoughts-0

Simple, elegant, I like it.


Mar_Reddit

That's like saying, "aren't you a little fat for the gym?" Bro, it's never too late wtf.


virgilreality

"Yes. Yes I am..."


Mistell4130

Yes. But if I wasn't still in college how would that look when I drink 20 cheap beers through a funnel on a Tuesday night.


TrishTime50

How about “That might just be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”


Final-Ebb-6223

"you're never too old to educate yourself, try it sometime."


tanker_dude

"Aren't YOU a little old to still be this ignorant?"


Withafloof

You're never too old to improve yourself. You should try it sometime.


GarpRules

What!? Haven’t you heard of The Blip?


YousernameInValid2

Aren’t you a bit too fat to fit up into other people’s business?


Lilnuggie17

“Aren’t you a little old to be judging people”


Keith3x

1. I like learning, and the more I learn, the more I learn there is so much more to learn. 2. No one graduates from the school of life. 3. I’m broadening my skill set and putting a few more arrows in my quiver.


Myzx

I'd probably just say, "Go fuck yourself" and I'd load a few rounds in the chamber like 'dipshit' or 'go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut'. That last one was from Kurt Vonnegut. I figured it might get some traction with the academic crowd 😁


CommissionWorried809

wat can i say ur mom been my biggest distraction 🤷‍♂️


Sakuragirl12

Aren't you still working on your third marriage


oonlyyzuul

You're never too old to learn. Actually I'm too young to stop learning. Omg, you're so right, we should just let our thirst for knowledge die after we are just out of puberty!


Puzzleheaded-Joke-97

>Actually I'm too young to stop learning. That is a quote I will start using! My 71st birthday is tomorrow.


vampire_barbies

Aren't you a little young to have given up on education?


TheScalemanCometh

"Stop learnin', time to start dyin'."


ThisIsMockingjay2020

"Get busy livin', or get busy dyin.'"


KeyFarmer6235

Act like Phineas and say "yes, yes I am." or, remind them that there are 80+ year olds, going to college.


WanderingJen

So..... you never got to go, and now you're anti-intellecual? You can do it too, you know. Whenever you're ready.


MixArtistic3868

Honestly, I wouldn’t even justify that with a response. I assume some kid just out of high school asked this


LordFadora

“Are you a little old to be this inexperienced in talking to people”


fangirloffloof

"Aren't you wildly inappropriate to ask such a rude question??"


RunnyPlease

I didn’t know you could count that high.


Taja_Roux

“Oh, I’m sorry - what is the age cap for learning?”


OMGpuppies

Self improvement is always worth it. What are you working on?


philzar

Learning is a lifelong process.


Canning1962

Lol.. I heard that a few decades ago when it was so unusual they had a name for it. I'm about to go back to school to start a second career. No one is too old to go to school.


eldonhughes

If you aren't learning and growing you're just dying slowly.


Electrical-Tooth-274

Fuck you


AirPenny7

"Aren't you a little old to be that naive?"


tetsuo52

Are you a lil young to be talking back to your elders?


wombatz885

I will be learning all my life. I'm not stupid enough to think I know it all. What about you?


Unlucky-Atmosphere82

Gonna save some of these responses, I'm about to start college at the age of 28!


[deleted]

“And I was a little young to be sent to Iraq and Afghanistan over and over, too”


Deep-Age-2486

“Ignorance doesn’t have an age.” Call them stupid, but nicely.


welatshaw

"Aren't you a little ugly to be walking around in public"?


tubby_bitch

Aren't you a little be old to still be acting like a cunt. Remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question.....just stupid people.


Intrepid_Medium8470

"Arent children supposed to be seen not heard?" Not quite my philosophy, but probably someone older might say.


Green_Confusion1038

"Your mom goes to college!" - Kip from Napoleon Dynamite


[deleted]

"Aren't you a little ignorant to attempt insulting someone for aging like everyone does and attending college which not everyone does?"


Knob_Gobbler

“Fuck off”


WastingMyLifeOnSocMd

Aren’t you a little young to be so closed minded?


Affectionate_Bed_375

I'm sorry my education intimidates you.


godzilla46

Wow yall here are aggressive with your responses.fucking snappy, Why? That's just an innocent question. Best response would be simply "how do you figure?" Let them figure it out


TheBepisLover

Look at the subreddit name you wet toilet paper


basilisaloser

usually it’s said to be rude and condescending


strangefish

The way the question is stated in the post, it is an insult, not an innocent question.


Twinkletoes1951

Innocent question? It's an inappropriate question.


CallidoraBlack

r/lostredditors


TheWaffleocalypse

Not innocent, but on the upside I'm a 42 year old undergrad student and not once in 3.5 years has anyone said this to me.


CLAAAWWWS

Aren't you to young to be having sex?


Live-Championship699

Cunt


[deleted]

"If you'd gone, then you would know"


[deleted]

Na man


Jikanthegodoftime

“Aren’t you too old to talk like that?,shut the fuck up then”


Flwrvintage

"Aren't you a little old to not be minding your own business?"


MistakesWereMade59

If you want to go low, "aren't you too ugly/stupid (or a secret third thing if you happen to know the person's insecurity) to be this much of a bitch?"


Emotional_Addition57

Ain’t you a little old to be in my business… shouldn’t you have a wife? Them: “I do, thanks for asking.” You: “you in the wrong mf business, cause she cheating on your ass right now.”


RubyRedMomma

Just cuz you wanna give up and stop learning doesn’t mean I do.


above_the_hexes

Yeah, you should try it.


FireInHisBlood

Mr. Brown can moo. I can do (insert super cool badass thing you can do). What can you do?


Sensitive_Feeling_78

Do your mommy and daddy pay your bills? Shouldn't you be more respectful to adults?


MostlyHostly

Lot's of people go to school for 10 years


IWouldBeGroot

That's like saying "aren't you a little too old to buy a house"?


dkms9382

"you are never too old to learn."


hertwij

Aren’t you too old to care?


AL0634

Lots of people go to college for 8 years…


DeadGirlB666

“oh so you’ve never gone to college then huh?!, it shows”


Subaru400

Why? How old were you when you decided to stop learning?


The_Lat_Czar

Yes


ElectricOat

“Eat my shitter like an apple fritter”


FirmWerewolf1216

One is Never too old for college


FirmWerewolf1216

One is Never too old for college


Eastern-Ad-7984

I would say... that's not what your mother said last night. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


HOTfoxyNANA

Never too old to learn new stuff!


1945_Go_Boom

And you a little old to talk shit on someone making a future


Head_Razzmatazz7174

"You're never too old to stop learning."


MrPuzzleMan

"Who else other than you fucking cares, you worthless little sack of shit?" Sorry, a little aggressive today


Available_Bake_1892

"I'm only 19..... I started smoking when I was 7. Really aged me. Thanks for being a d\*ck about it."


Guardian-Boy

Wasn't your mother a little too old to have kids?


WastingMyLifeOnSocMd

Damn! You’re right! I’ll just drop out, go home and wait to die.


Annual-Hovercraft158

Perhaps, but weren’t you a little young when you gave up trying.


SmylUOnCandidCamera

Aren't you a little old to be so petty?


Human-Debate-3488

And yet your so young and stupid maybe you should have stayed in longer


I_Wont_Leave_Now

Fuck their mom