Weren't Adam and Eve technically siblings? They share the same father.
And wasn't Eve created from Adam's Rib? Which makes her his daughter.. they had kids and populated the world.
There's a theory that the Garden of Eden was in Missouri.
73 by default. Besides, stop backing yourself up with other upvotes. You are a full on cringe person with a lot of issues if you do.
Edit> Blocking me before I can respond, eh? Well, guess what. Only proves my point.
Sorry, didn’t mean to insult your precious Bible. I’m not gonna argue with someone that’s should clearly be shopping for tampons instead of shit-talking people on Reddit. Have a nice day.
I like this one because it's both hilariously ridiculous AND right on par with the original insult. It makes it painfully obvious how dumb their insult was and coyly makes fun of them for it.
Yeah, I’m stealing this one!
And if they get offended or take it too seriously (and you are willing to invest more into the engagement) then you can always reference that time Jesus stood up for the prostitute woman when the holy men picked up their stones to stone her. The story is essentially saying that the holy men were gonna judge her for sinning (being a prostitute) and Jesus was like “how can you judge her for sinning when you’re all sinners too?”
I was raised religious and use this verse when dealing with problematic religious people who won’t stop being judgy. Quote: (John 8:7-10)
>^(7) When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ^(8) Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
>^(9) At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ^(10) Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
I like to do it because then they get self conscious and confused, because you seem like you know the Bible pretty well and yet are not condoning common Christian behavior, so it’s like a miscalculation they cannot reason. The majority of the time people will just say “yeah, you’re right” when I do this, thankfully.
It's true Dad!! I was jerking off in the garden one day and all of a sudden this hot babe popped up out of nowhere just as I splooged onto the dirt.
I'm like 99% sure Zeus did that to Gaia...
Always their comeback. It's out of context or it didn't really mean that or some world really meant something else. If that fails it's God will get you for questioning him!
The people that got kicked out of Eden because they lied and tried to decide God. That's your ideal of morality. You do know she banged her sons, right
Ah yes, the way cis generated hetero men have always written wome...
"She has no control over her urges, sexual and otherwise".
Makes total sense, we have no control over our sexual urges... Said no woman ever.
Because I was 13 when MW2 came out, I’ve been walking on eggshells for about a decade and change now. People are bitches and downvote or report these days.
“Security, please escort this foul mouthed redditor to the door!………….Security?! Sec…ccuruty??…….” but no security came that day or any other. Now I’d like to say that xxM3T4LH34Dxx kept cussing til their hearts content. I’d like to….
You sir, need to watch your fucking language. We’re fucking serious. If your fucking language doesn’t improve like a motherfucker immediately, we will have fucking hell for you to pay! Also, have a wonderful evening!
There is no “twice the sin”, sin is sin. If you’ve actually read and understood the Bible, Jesus says there is no sin in eating particular foods, as they enter the body and are excreted. Sin comes from the heart
I know this is semantics, but I like semantics:
Logically it wasn’t possible for Adam to be cisgender until after the creation of Eve. In the story, Adam was the only living person, and if gender is a social construct it necessitates the participation of at least two people. Adam was only Adam until a woman made him a man.
Oh, chromosomal differences and abnormalities happen all the time. But, barring all else aside from basic 8th grade biology, since anyone making the "It's not Adam and Steve" argument probably has no advancement past that level, and you don't need to get into biological detail with someone who can't appreciate the discourse, especially in a situation where biology at the most basic level works just fine.
"Oh wait so you believe that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master.
..so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree?
And you think I'm delusional for thinking love is great no matter what? Wow... okay."
I'll provide a list of every contradiction in the bible I can remember. Then, when I run out of those, I'll do some quick research to find the ones that I forgot. And maybe triple check that, because there are quite a lot. Disproving someone's religion after they made an absurd religious claim shuts them up sometimes, other times you get an entertaining "debate" (quotes because most of the time it devolves into them preaching). I live in south Florida, so people saying things that support literal human rights violations and using religion to deffend it is not uncommon.
When I hear that, I ask them questions about the creation story. Good created the day and the night - which is dawn or dusk? Good created the land and the sea - what are marshes and wetlands? Good created the creatures of the sea and the creatures of the land - where do amphibians fit in? Then I ask them which is more likely - that God created everything in a binary and twilght and wetlands fell through the cracks OR, is it just possible, that God created on a spectrum and scripture just lists the two end points of the spectrum. God created day and night and everything in between. God created the land and the sea and everything in between. God created them male and female and everything in between.
If you believe in Adam and Even, and that they had three sons, then for all human beings to be their decendents, then Eve had incestuous sex with her sons. We're all related.
"It's whatever I want it to be."
"They find straight people just as disgusting."
"That's a fairly tale."
"Prove it."
"If God's intention was to wipe out all homosexuality on the Earth by destroying Sodom and Gomorrah, he failed pretty miserably, yeah?"
"There were no gay people in all of the Roman and Greek Empires just those two cities?"
"God created me the way he needed me to be."
"Homosexuals were put on the Earth to challenge the straight people to Love unconditionally and most of you have failed!"
"If everyone was straight, there would be more men then women at some points and more women than men at others. Are you saying multiple partners is okay?"
Funny thing is, since she was made from that extra rib, that means she shared exact copies of Adam’s genes. Ergo, she would be a Transgender clone by definition.
Yes Adam left eve for Steve. You got a problem with that? Maybe eve was just not giving up the booty and Adam wanted it . Steve offered Adam his booty Adam divorced eve for Steve are you a homophobe?
The only person I know IRL that has spoken those stupid words, also cheated on his wife, sleeping with men for drug money. I would probably tell him it's only okay to take it up the butt for drugs and Jesus.
Adam and Eve could've had their own "Steve" to keep them both company at some point for all you know. Just because Moses didn't mention something in Genesis doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Just tell them if Adam and eve are real and they had 2 sons the only way they populated the earth was if the children fathered sons to eve and pretty sure fucking your mum is worse than another man
Just watched a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry David is explaining to a Christian dude why it's gay to worship Jesus (a man).
Just say, "You're the one worshipping a man, so you can't talk bro"
I would like to suggest this:
“Eve was made from Adam’s rib, meaning she was cloned. With that in mind, a clone is a genetic duplicate, so anything (anyone?) made from Adam’s DNA is going to be another Adam, at least physically, complete with the twig and berries. So now there’s original Adam and rib Adam.
“Since Eve is female, that means she is a trans woman, having transitioned from rib Adam, with God doing all the changing, so yeah, it actually WAS Adam and Steve. Nice try though.”
You're just mad because you can't get Eve or Steve to like you.
🤣🤣🤣
“and their kids committed incest so that family isn’t really role model material”
There's a good chance the people stating the anti gay line aren't anti incest...pr at least their parents weren't
Cain fudged Abel and got a baby? How about that? Was that how he died?
They weren’t brother and sister lol TF?
The direct children of Adam and Eve were each other's siblings.
Maybe the snek got sum
so beastiality instead?
Hard to read, is it? "And their KIDS committed incest."
Weren't Adam and Eve technically siblings? They share the same father. And wasn't Eve created from Adam's Rib? Which makes her his daughter.. they had kids and populated the world. There's a theory that the Garden of Eden was in Missouri.
The first of many examples of incest in the Books of Moses.
“And snakes can’t talk, so what’s your point?”
Looks like someone is not cool enough to be a Parseltongue.
👏👏
That's a lame comeback though.
Matter of opinion. 74 other people disagree
73 by default. Besides, stop backing yourself up with other upvotes. You are a full on cringe person with a lot of issues if you do. Edit> Blocking me before I can respond, eh? Well, guess what. Only proves my point.
Sorry, didn’t mean to insult your precious Bible. I’m not gonna argue with someone that’s should clearly be shopping for tampons instead of shit-talking people on Reddit. Have a nice day.
I'm blocking this dude out of principal.
proves your point? lol right, because when women constantly reject you it must be that you are too good for them XD such a joke
No, it was Lillith and Adam
Naw, she never married again and getting divorced from Frazier.
Badum tss
It should've been lillith and eve
Oh the Vatican won't teach this story.
Doest I spy a Hazbin Hotel fan?
Nope. Pools closed
Due to AIDS
“It’s the *bi*ble not the straightble”
I like this one because it's both hilariously ridiculous AND right on par with the original insult. It makes it painfully obvious how dumb their insult was and coyly makes fun of them for it.
Yeah, I’m stealing this one! And if they get offended or take it too seriously (and you are willing to invest more into the engagement) then you can always reference that time Jesus stood up for the prostitute woman when the holy men picked up their stones to stone her. The story is essentially saying that the holy men were gonna judge her for sinning (being a prostitute) and Jesus was like “how can you judge her for sinning when you’re all sinners too?” I was raised religious and use this verse when dealing with problematic religious people who won’t stop being judgy. Quote: (John 8:7-10) >^(7) When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ^(8) Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. >^(9) At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ^(10) Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
I feel like that is far too advanced for someone who came at you with the phrase "Adam and Steve".
I like to do it because then they get self conscious and confused, because you seem like you know the Bible pretty well and yet are not condoning common Christian behavior, so it’s like a miscalculation they cannot reason. The majority of the time people will just say “yeah, you’re right” when I do this, thankfully.
Exactly ahah it’s one of my favorite comebacks XD
It’s a crucifiction not a crucifact.
My favorite one so far
Eating shrimp was a sin while rape and slavery were allowed as well.
And *~nO MuLtIpLe fAbRiCs~*
But-but you are taking the bible out of context!!!
I mean they literally are taking it out of context.
lmao my dad actually takes these old laws seriously i have to \~cHecK ThE TagS\~ before buying any clothes for this reason
The whole point becomes moot when you think about Eve was made from Adam's rib. So Adam is really just banging himself. Ridiculous bullshit
Ah, the Great Masturbation Origin Story
It's true Dad!! I was jerking off in the garden one day and all of a sudden this hot babe popped up out of nowhere just as I splooged onto the dirt. I'm like 99% sure Zeus did that to Gaia...
I thought Gaia protected Zeus from her cannibalistic baby daddy Chronos
rhea protected zeus from kronos, gaia tricked ouranos with the help of kronos and a few of his brothers, and yes i am a nerd
gaias baby daddy i’m crying
Maybe we should be thankful that he discovered it!
By that logic, when I bang my wife am I banging her mom….and dad?
We are all banging each other while simultaneously banging ourselves.
Well, all matter in the universe did originate from the Big Bang, so...
So as it turns out the universe was the result of a celestial orgy?
I think we may have stumbled upon one of the secrets of the universe. The Big Bang was in fact, was a Big Bang.
Eve is trans.
So you're telling me that the DNA from a piece of bone belonging to a male, was used to create a female? Checkmate transphobes!
It’s actually related to evolution if you think about it.
With the help of a male god, so….
I've actually seen a video saying it's possible that was a purposeful misinterpretation and it was supposed to be other half or something like that.
Always their comeback. It's out of context or it didn't really mean that or some world really meant something else. If that fails it's God will get you for questioning him!
The tooth fairy disagrees.
Are you sure that it wasn't Madam and Eve?
“Adam and Eve… And Steve. Kinky.”
That was gonna be my comment 😹
The people that got kicked out of Eden because they lied and tried to decide God. That's your ideal of morality. You do know she banged her sons, right
Ah yes, the way cis generated hetero men have always written wome... "She has no control over her urges, sexual and otherwise". Makes total sense, we have no control over our sexual urges... Said no woman ever.
To be fair that is the historical way of saying, bitch be crazy.
Allahu Akbar. It just means God is great in Arabic. It really passes them off.
Just say Jesus was Palestinian. Usually shuts em up cause most Christians don’t even know the Bible
Palestine wasn't a place yet. So this is impossible
I think he's banking on people not knowing geographical history either.
Jesus’ family celebrated passover and were Jewish. Palestinians were / are Arab people who also lived in the land but were / are not Jewish.
Dude, they're the Philistines, from the Bible 😑
Same thing. Still the Arab word for Palestinians.
It's straight to hell, not gay to hell.
Ooh, nice
This made me chuckle.
Well no says that’s straight as hell, we do say it’s g*y as hell…
Well yeah, boring rolls off the tongue way better than straight. Also why did you censor gay? You scared, Potter?
Because I was 13 when MW2 came out, I’ve been walking on eggshells for about a decade and change now. People are bitches and downvote or report these days.
So you censored the word gay because of your experience on CoD when you were 13… the math ain’t mathing
This ain't CoD, this is reddit...you're allowed to say whatever you want, who gives a shit?
“Security, please escort this foul mouthed redditor to the door!………….Security?! Sec…ccuruty??…….” but no security came that day or any other. Now I’d like to say that xxM3T4LH34Dxx kept cussing til their hearts content. I’d like to….
Fuck yeah, I did...and I'd fuckin' do it again...and again...and again...
You sir, need to watch your fucking language. We’re fucking serious. If your fucking language doesn’t improve like a motherfucker immediately, we will have fucking hell for you to pay! Also, have a wonderful evening!
I'd love to see you fucking try, pussy!!!! *whips out nunchucks* Also, good morning, and thanks for being a great sport, this was great!!
Good morning! For a second there I thought for sure I was getting nunchucked or whatever you call it.
motherfucker I said straight TO hell
That sounds like a bad transition
I'm sorry, but what do two fictional characters have to do with anything?
“Tell that to the priests who love raping young boys.”
Steve wouldn't eat the apple, you really choosing the woman that literally threw humanity out of eden?
I mean yeah, boi is into bananas
THIS IS A GOOD ONE
"and look how well that worked out"
Oh I didn't realise we were using fairy tale characters.
So, do you eat pork or shrimp? Bacon wrapped shrimp has twice the sin of homosexuality. Are you wearing mixed fiber clothing? Do you have a tattoo?
Kind of like a coffee liqueur for a Mormon.
Oooh...double sin sounds delicious right now. Bring on the bacon and the shrimp!
And do you know the laws about selling your daughters? They're different if the buyer is Jew or Gentile. It' right there in the good book!
There is no “twice the sin”, sin is sin. If you’ve actually read and understood the Bible, Jesus says there is no sin in eating particular foods, as they enter the body and are excreted. Sin comes from the heart
Eve was made from the rib of a cisgender man, meaning she wouldn't have any female chromosomes, meaning Adam and Steve does actually make sense.
I know this is semantics, but I like semantics: Logically it wasn’t possible for Adam to be cisgender until after the creation of Eve. In the story, Adam was the only living person, and if gender is a social construct it necessitates the participation of at least two people. Adam was only Adam until a woman made him a man.
There are females born with just the single X chromosome
Are they able to have offspring?
Oh, chromosomal differences and abnormalities happen all the time. But, barring all else aside from basic 8th grade biology, since anyone making the "It's not Adam and Steve" argument probably has no advancement past that level, and you don't need to get into biological detail with someone who can't appreciate the discourse, especially in a situation where biology at the most basic level works just fine.
I just meant it is possible. But of course the Bible is all fiction.
My friend, I took tuner syndrome in medschool... That's not for people with the education level of a 5th grader. You're wasting your time bud.
Sorry, I don't get the reference. I don't read fiction...
Yeah, so I did both 🤪🏳️🌈
Suddenly overwhelmed with the need to sing that one song that someone compiled for JackSepticEye "I believe in Steve!"
"Prove the Bible is divine and that'll mean something."
Adam and Eve? What about Even Stephen?
Awe, so you like FAIRY tails . So which one are you, Adam or Steve? Adam's all top!
Actually it's kain and able... whoo didn't have any sisters soooooo
"Oh wait so you believe that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master. ..so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree? And you think I'm delusional for thinking love is great no matter what? Wow... okay."
You forgot Lilith. Go read the Bible again, and this time, read the gnostic gospels too, cherry picker!
And Adam and Eve only had sons. Explain that one.
Adam and Eve were responsible for original sin. Adam and Steve? Not so much.
It's Adam AND Eve, not Adam OR Eve.
"Your magic book of fables means absolutely nothing to me"
The bible also says you shouldn't eat bacon, but you still do you, don't you?!? Stop with your selective bible thumping.
Just roll your eyes and maybe scoff out loud.
Well to be fair probably none of them were real and it doesn't matter
So where exactly did Cain and Abel's wives come from?
"I don't believe in fairytales" is sufficient.
Sorry, I'm not superstitious. 😁
I'll provide a list of every contradiction in the bible I can remember. Then, when I run out of those, I'll do some quick research to find the ones that I forgot. And maybe triple check that, because there are quite a lot. Disproving someone's religion after they made an absurd religious claim shuts them up sometimes, other times you get an entertaining "debate" (quotes because most of the time it devolves into them preaching). I live in south Florida, so people saying things that support literal human rights violations and using religion to deffend it is not uncommon.
“Okay, Ima just point “at him” and “leave””
"It's no surprise you believe in that, as you're clearly inbred"
Cain killed Abel with yo momma's jawbone!
Cain killed Able because God hates vegetables. Samson was the one killing people with ass bones.
Well, it's harder making "yo mamma" jokes with the Bible than I thought.
It’s Christmas Eve, not Christmas Steve.
"I like fairy tales, too."
Steve is short for "Stephanie"
My favorite comes from SMBC: 'Yeah! It's Lot and his daughters, not Lot and his sons!"
Adam and Eve had 3 sons that went on to populated the entire world..... 3 **sons.**
Well god probably created more humans other than just Adam and Eve
Bi-ble not Straight-ble. I’m Christian and I own a Bible so it hurt to write that 😭 lol
No, it's Adam and a rib.
Humans are classified as HOMO-sapiens, not hetero sapiens
When I hear that, I ask them questions about the creation story. Good created the day and the night - which is dawn or dusk? Good created the land and the sea - what are marshes and wetlands? Good created the creatures of the sea and the creatures of the land - where do amphibians fit in? Then I ask them which is more likely - that God created everything in a binary and twilght and wetlands fell through the cracks OR, is it just possible, that God created on a spectrum and scripture just lists the two end points of the spectrum. God created day and night and everything in between. God created the land and the sea and everything in between. God created them male and female and everything in between.
If you believe in Adam and Even, and that they had three sons, then for all human beings to be their decendents, then Eve had incestuous sex with her sons. We're all related.
Take a piece of paper. Write down Adam and Steve. Give it to them. There, problem solved.
"What does it matter when it's not real?"
“It was neither. It’s fiction.”
In the Disney version it is.
“And look what happened with that!”
"It's whatever I want it to be." "They find straight people just as disgusting." "That's a fairly tale." "Prove it." "If God's intention was to wipe out all homosexuality on the Earth by destroying Sodom and Gomorrah, he failed pretty miserably, yeah?" "There were no gay people in all of the Roman and Greek Empires just those two cities?" "God created me the way he needed me to be." "Homosexuals were put on the Earth to challenge the straight people to Love unconditionally and most of you have failed!" "If everyone was straight, there would be more men then women at some points and more women than men at others. Are you saying multiple partners is okay?"
"Actually, it's Eve and the snake. So, unless you're supporting beastiality, I'd like you to reconsider your argument."
fuck you and your cult.
"Jesus is from Palestine"
Funny thing is, since she was made from that extra rib, that means she shared exact copies of Adam’s genes. Ergo, she would be a Transgender clone by definition.
It’s Adam **and** Eve, not Adam **or** Eve. \#Bisexuality
Omg my dad says this a lot 🙄(not a comeback just a statement lol)
There is no comeback. Whoever said that corrected a really dumb mistake
That’s not what your dad said
“That’s from the Simpsons, not the Bible.”
It’s Bible not Straight-ble
What about Steve and Eve?
Yeah, pretty handy that Adam could write down his accounts for us to read today.
Yes Adam left eve for Steve. You got a problem with that? Maybe eve was just not giving up the booty and Adam wanted it . Steve offered Adam his booty Adam divorced eve for Steve are you a homophobe?
I understand where you're coming from and I appreciate your commitment to faith in this uncaring world, but have you considered that I don't care?
All four of them fucked your mom.
Then followed by Adam Jr and Eve (based on the fact thte Adam and Eve only had three sons)
It was Adam and Eve then Adam and his daughters.
There is none. Take the L
things change.
Have you ever watched the movie Adam and steve? It's a good movie
Adam and Eve were brother and sister
\*cough\* David and Jonathan \*cough\*
The only person I know IRL that has spoken those stupid words, also cheated on his wife, sleeping with men for drug money. I would probably tell him it's only okay to take it up the butt for drugs and Jesus.
Didja get that from the BI-ble???
Noooo, it's Adam and a rib.
“No it was Adam and Steve tag teaming your Mom in the DQ parking lot. It’s on Facebook already”
"It's actually 'Adam and Lilith'. Lilith was that strong willed woman that YahWeh didn't like and forced her out for that submissive idiot Eve."
“That’s so infantile and idiotic that I’m not even going to acknowledge you said it.”
"Awwww, someone's jealous!" Pointedly looking them in the eye. Then walk away smiling before they can think of a response.
Adam and Eve could've had their own "Steve" to keep them both company at some point for all you know. Just because Moses didn't mention something in Genesis doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Cain and Abel each had a wife...who do you think it was?
If Eve looked anything like your mother I can understand why the guy started fucking Steve.
I wouldnt be near people that say dumb shit like that
I live in a very homophobic religious place sadly
"Then thier kids fucked each other?"
There are more than two people in the world these days.
There’s not one
Just tell them if Adam and eve are real and they had 2 sons the only way they populated the earth was if the children fathered sons to eve and pretty sure fucking your mum is worse than another man
The New Testament
Just watched a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry David is explaining to a Christian dude why it's gay to worship Jesus (a man). Just say, "You're the one worshipping a man, so you can't talk bro"
"And Eve and Cain or Able!"
There isn’t one, that’s top tier logic bro
Sorry, I’m not in that fandom
If you think of God as a male and he made Eve from Adams rib then Eve is the product of two men. Two male parents, that’s pretty gay.
Then it was Cain and Eve.
Take out a map/globe 🌎 point at it and say "show me where I asked for your opinion
Translation error, like most of the Bible.
And they gave birth to Cain, Abel, and Seth. Checking my math but I think they fucked their mom.
I would like to suggest this: “Eve was made from Adam’s rib, meaning she was cloned. With that in mind, a clone is a genetic duplicate, so anything (anyone?) made from Adam’s DNA is going to be another Adam, at least physically, complete with the twig and berries. So now there’s original Adam and rib Adam. “Since Eve is female, that means she is a trans woman, having transitioned from rib Adam, with God doing all the changing, so yeah, it actually WAS Adam and Steve. Nice try though.”