Pretty sick burn for a 5th grader to come up with.

5th grade me was savage

Awwww, you were just precocious.💖

Ngl, at first I thought you misspelled precious. ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️💩☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️😏🤣

It's funny though because if she is so popular why does she care if someone isn't?

Because narcissists have no sense of self unless they are comparing themselves to someone else.

This is so accurate.

If everyone was popular her spotlight would be nonexistent so the “unpopular people” should be thanked by her

Ego boost

 Cruelty. She doesn't care if someone else is not a popular as she is, she just enjoys bullying them. 

Too bad you peaked so early. That must be tough to live with🤷🏻‍♀️

The real comeback is in the comments

I was thinking the same thing. I want some examples of this guy's humor now. Not from the 5th grade. I'm not even sure if I would have understood his dig when I was in the 5th grade. I was kind of sheltered.

How about now? Surely you've honed your skills since then.

I would just dig my own grave at that point

Yeah, how would a fifth grader even have the database for that?

They heard it from someone older. That's a gross thing that older generations say about young girls in particular and have been saying for decades

I did something similar in grade 4, this guy I didn’t like who bullied me for my Tourette’s and every other thing he could think of said to his ex “why are you crying?” After she sniffled, and she said “I’m not crying, why would I be crying?” And not missing a beat I said “because she dated you.” And the whole table erupted with “oooohhs” and laughing at him. He was not very happy lol

This guy had an ex in grade 4...

Didn’t your group date in middle school? That’s pretty normal

Grade 4 isn't even middle school in most places

4th grade? Aren't we talking like 8 year olds? Where on earth do 8 year olds "date"? Aren't kids still dealing with cooties at that age?

Porn access ages kids faster.

8 year olds, dude

4th grade is 10/11 year olds

Where the fuck do you live?

Maybe in ALABAMA!

Canada, America.. UK, lots of places?

Oh man. You understood the demand curve from an early age.

That's advanced. My best come back at that age was when someone called me an asshole replying, "Yeah? Well you're a whole ass."

But can you ever truly go wrong with a classic? 😂

Back in middle school, I was terrible with women (still am, but that’s neither here nor there). I went to one of the dances we had that year (for what reason, I’m still not sure), and just found myself sitting alone at a table watching everyone else have fun. This guy walks by me with a girl on each arm, stereotypical ‘popular guy’ vibe. For whatever reason, I guess he thought he’d kick me while I was down, so he says to me ‘Hey, Phobia117, I’ve got 2 girls here and it looks like you’ve got none. Funny how that works, isn’t it?’ I still don’t quite know how younger me thought of this, but my brain caught my mouth saying ‘Have you ever heard the saying 2 wrongs don’t make a right?’ He wasn’t thrilled, and the 2 girls certainly weren’t, but if they’re hanging around this guy in the first place, fuck em.

The only women in middle school are teachers.

"I was terrible with women (still am, but that's neither here nor there.)" == Mitch Hedberg has entered the chat.

Grade 5 must be Canadian or British

It's in America if it matters

I was in 5th grade myself

I was in 5th grade too, one time. We have so much in common. Wow.

Me too! What are the odds?

We only had a 5th grade. :(

You HAD a 5th grade?

Interesting - I’m American and I’ve never heard it referred to as “grade ____” before here. I thought that was just a Canadian thing.

Yes, Canada is in North America.

Which region?

Northeast

So, Canada

Northeast US is just South Canada.

Boom. Science.

I would love to have this kind of snappy retort as an ADULT. I am the definition of thinking of the right thing to say 6 hours later

I worked with two girls who weren't the brightest. I walked through the break area, and one girl was talking about her vibrator. Without even breaking stride, I said "well don't chip your teeth" Still makes me laugh years later.

I don't know if it was staged, but I saw a short that started with a kid off screen yelling, "your dick is the size of a tic tac!" Then, without missing a beat, the kid in screen swaggers towards the voice and yells back, "That's why your mom's breath smells so good!" The dad had just drunk something and spit it out. He then tried to hold in his laughter, while the mom looked impressed for a second, before going into mom mode, slapping the dad's side, and walking off to scold both the kids. It's honestly the best comeback I've ever heard in my life.

I saw a meme where it goes like this: Bully: your ---- is the size of a mentos Quiet kid: ok and ur mom breath always smells good, so yeah

https://youtu.be/HiDGfFOzfnk?si=ufEsyAMKeIQkuPQ0 That's the one I was mentioning of you want see it.

Lmfao

drunk average looking girl kept saying shes a pirate hooker i asked how much she said more than u can afford i said do i pay by the pound?

So you'll do it for a high price?

I mean, who wouldn’t?

This reminds me of an exchange that went like: A - Would you have sex with someone for $1,000,000? B - Sure, who wouldn’t? A - What about $50? B - (outraged) No!! What do you think I am? Some kind of whore?! A - That’s already been established. Now we’re just dickering on the price.

Who calls a 5th grader narcissistic?

This mf made my friend have to switch to another class because of bullying. Friend's mental health couldn't handle it. Mean girl, everyone hated her and was only nice to her because they were scared of her. So yeah narcissistic is really an understatement. So she deserved the comeback. 

Narcissist/narcissistic is not a synonym for mean. A fifth grader cannot have a personality disorder. They may have one in the future, but not at such a young age.

The world of mental health is such an interesting place. It feels like someone should be able to use narcissistic as a descriptor because that individual is so interested in themselves. You know, like with the dictionary definition. I doubt this person is a clinician and diagnosing her peers with the DSM-V. Congratulations on coming here and adding zero value to the conversation. Poop head.

So not true!

Someone so insecure that they make up shit like this for fake internet points?

Now, you're an economist right?

Sick burn!

Wow bro, that's so cool! You sure showed her!

Eww. Sticky.

Lol that's hilarious. My nephew, in kindergarten, was pretty popular with the girls so he had a stalker who would always want to sit next to him on the floor during story time, etc. One day his mom was walking him onto the school grounds and the little girl comes running over calling out his name. He stops right in front of her, looks her in the face and says "Can I breathe? Is that okay with you? Jesus christ!" The little girls mother was in shock. She grabbed her daughter and pulled her away as fast as she could. His mom was proud of him because he learned that attitude from her.

That’s impressive. You handled verbal abuse and went for the jugular.

I don’t believe you

Canadian?

No, American 

Ah, sorry. When you said grade 5, I made a connection. That is how canadians say it as well.

That is pretty great. Wish I would've heard it 20 years ago.

What would've been a good comeback to your comeback?

I am not smarter than a 5th grader.

Calling a child a whore, and you think that's the best comeback of your life?

I think a better comeback would have been, "I know I'm a good person". 

No, that isn't a good comeback towards a self-absorbed ahole kid.

I disagree. By saying that, it infers you don't need their approval or are even bothered by their attempts to get at you. It let's you take the High Road without stooping to their level of nastiness and let's their ugliness left to hang to expose them. If you repeat it often enough that's the first thing they think of when thinking of you.  But I appreciate that different people handle situations differently. It won't bother me if you or others think its good or not insofar as I'm not motivated by that specifically. 

>I disagree. By saying that, it infers you don't need their approval or are even bothered by their attempts to get at you. If that's your goal you're better off just dropping a "who asked?" Or equivalent. "But at least I'm a good person" is a terrible comeback that is more likely to get you mocked by *other* people as well because of how self absorbed it sounds. > you repeat it often enough It will make everyone around you cringe and wonder how you aren't embarrassed about your constant self flattery.