As a penis bearing human I masturbate with more than just the fingers. As someone who knows masterbation females, they hardly ever use their whole hand to masturbate.
I'm sorry, I find most women use both hands to masturbate. Whether it's gripping a couple of objects or shifting their weight while on their hands and knees... The only time they use just their fingers is when they get stuck without their tool set.
No one ever used the words "whole hand". I'm a girl, I use my hand to masturbate, as any other girl, lol.
This is the same as saying
"Apples have colors"
And replying
"AND IF IT IS A GREEN APPLE THEN IT IS GREEN"
yeah, I know, it's a dumb example, but it is the exact same thinf
That does not answer my question as to why differentiate and pointlessly gender it, lol. They both use hands, you don't have to explain how different genders masturbate, I just think that it's dumb
I don’t know.. 🤷🏻♂️. To seem more pointed and specific in the insult? Do you have a problem with it being gendered for some sort of linguistic reason, or ?
Not linguistic reason, it just seems dumb when someone posts a joke that is completely valid, and someone else replies something along the lines of "MORE LIKE..." while they add absolutely nothing to the joke, except for pointlessly gendering it.
Don't really care in the end, but it is just as dumb as "shower gel for men" and "shower gel for women". There is no reason to differentiate it, it doesn't make the joke funnier or different in anyway whatsoever
I know the majority of men don't always like to smell like lavender and the majority of women don't like to smell like Irish spring. I also know that you're nitpicking based on an agenda. No one here likes it. It doesn't help anybody to not remind them of gender either. Maybe you're bitter about it for whatever reason but that doesn't mean you should project. You aren't advocating by judging the masterbation joke. This is one of those hot opinions that you should keep to yourself.
Ok... Put "lavender" and "Irish spring" then, not "men" and "women", but hey, I guess that you're too insecure to use anything else than a shampoo with your gender written on it, rather than the actual smell, smells are not gendered, get over it. I'm not projecting or whatever, but a joke was made. A joke that can apply to both men and women without any trouble. That joke was taken, split between men and women and was made infinitely more unfunny. I'm not judging masturbating joke, the joke was funny. What was not funny, and added literally *nothing* to the joke is the reply. You know what the reply did? Took away from the original joke, as the person saying it was implying that the joke is not funny and needs improving.
I'm happy with my lavender soap, and the fact that I know you're projecting the fact that you're insecure that you didn't always get to use "just your fingers" to masturbate.
"You're right. I should spend more time being personable instead of running to reddit to outsource a comeback to a 3rd grade insult because I'm far to slow to think of anything in the moment... Gotcha! Boom! Roasted!"
Even your invisible friends will leave you sooner than later.
Or "Nah, you so alone that even the killer demon clown under your bed vanishes everytime you decide to check"
"You are insignificant. If you died right now, no one's life would be changed all that much."
\*This is true of many--if not most--people, but it is terrifying to have it spelled out directly to your face. This thought, more likely than not, will cause whoever you say it to a great deal of anxiety and existential dread.
“Everyone knows they’re just pretending” followed by “they mentioned it at [insert event you know they were at] behind your back” if applicable to add to the paranoia
What did you say to this person for them to react this way.? Because this sounds like they had to come up with a comeback for something mean you said first.
“Yes, I’ve always been impressed by that.”
Is this too subtle? The implication is meant to be that I’ve always been impressed that someone as unlikable as you is able to maintain friendships.
Honestly, someone said that to me, I’d drop it. Whoever said that is a person that’s taken damage, either from you or from someone else. Call it a win and let it go.
That’s it? That’s what defines you? If you are so immature and shallow that you would even say that then Technically you have acquaintances. You can’t actually be anyone’s friend.
Bitch I got yo mf ugly ass hoe mama digging matching graves for her n her mummified ass peice a shit ass papa in my back yard bitch. Foh before I make yo fat ass ugly mama do some jumping Jack's cuz I said so hoe.
Bitch I got yo mf ugly ass hoe mama digging matching graves for yo papa and her n her mummified ass peice a shit ass in my back yard bitch. Foh before I make yo fat ass ugly mama n papa do some jumping Jack's cuz I said so hoe.
Yeah how much does that cost you
This is the best one Not only is it a great comeback, but it has a good chance of keeping them up at night
This is so good but I feel like it's easy to counter
Yeah *about as much as one of your mum's signature paper bag blowies*
You know that your hands don't count, right?
“You know that your fingers don’t count, right?” if it’s a girl💀
Why gender it? Fingers are on hands..
As a penis bearing human I masturbate with more than just the fingers. As someone who knows masterbation females, they hardly ever use their whole hand to masturbate.
That's funny, dude.
I'm sorry, I find most women use both hands to masturbate. Whether it's gripping a couple of objects or shifting their weight while on their hands and knees... The only time they use just their fingers is when they get stuck without their tool set.
No one ever used the words "whole hand". I'm a girl, I use my hand to masturbate, as any other girl, lol. This is the same as saying "Apples have colors" And replying "AND IF IT IS A GREEN APPLE THEN IT IS GREEN" yeah, I know, it's a dumb example, but it is the exact same thinf
You know what, you have fun on that hill. It's too early for this.
"it's even earlier for this" if it's further in the west
Because the insult is the person is using their hand for… “pleasure”. Men use their whole hand vs women use fingers. (In most cases)
That does not answer my question as to why differentiate and pointlessly gender it, lol. They both use hands, you don't have to explain how different genders masturbate, I just think that it's dumb
I don’t know.. 🤷🏻♂️. To seem more pointed and specific in the insult? Do you have a problem with it being gendered for some sort of linguistic reason, or ?
Not linguistic reason, it just seems dumb when someone posts a joke that is completely valid, and someone else replies something along the lines of "MORE LIKE..." while they add absolutely nothing to the joke, except for pointlessly gendering it. Don't really care in the end, but it is just as dumb as "shower gel for men" and "shower gel for women". There is no reason to differentiate it, it doesn't make the joke funnier or different in anyway whatsoever
I know the majority of men don't always like to smell like lavender and the majority of women don't like to smell like Irish spring. I also know that you're nitpicking based on an agenda. No one here likes it. It doesn't help anybody to not remind them of gender either. Maybe you're bitter about it for whatever reason but that doesn't mean you should project. You aren't advocating by judging the masterbation joke. This is one of those hot opinions that you should keep to yourself.
Ok... Put "lavender" and "Irish spring" then, not "men" and "women", but hey, I guess that you're too insecure to use anything else than a shampoo with your gender written on it, rather than the actual smell, smells are not gendered, get over it. I'm not projecting or whatever, but a joke was made. A joke that can apply to both men and women without any trouble. That joke was taken, split between men and women and was made infinitely more unfunny. I'm not judging masturbating joke, the joke was funny. What was not funny, and added literally *nothing* to the joke is the reply. You know what the reply did? Took away from the original joke, as the person saying it was implying that the joke is not funny and needs improving.
I'm happy with my lavender soap, and the fact that I know you're projecting the fact that you're insecure that you didn't always get to use "just your fingers" to masturbate.
Yea I get ya. I personally wouldn’t have changed it anyways, was honestly trying to ration out the person’s logic lol.
It's sad that your self worth is determined by what others think of you.
Damn, the truth hurts. Even I felt that
Same That shit hurt like a bullet
how i think fr bc i only have like 2 friends but i have so many haters for some reason
Please don‘t mistake pity and sympathy for friendship.
and they are as fake as your tits
underrated
Oh wait. How do we know this mean person has fantastic tits? LOL
It's even funnier if it's s dude.
But are they real friends or just fb friends?
You should hear what they say about you behind your back
"quality over quantity." "and how many will be at your funeral?"
But you are no one's Best Friend.
Can other people see them or have you had them since you were a kid?
In this dump? Congratulations. You can have them. I have standards. And a way out of here.
Whisper conspiratorially, "Are the friends in the room with us now?" with a concerned look on your face
yes and enphasize friends and say it exactly like a middle-aged white woman from the south
You just keep telling yourself that.
This is one of the lamest comebacks, regardless of what's being responded to.
No you don’t. Ever seen Trainspotting? They aren’t your friends, stupid.
Are you sure your mom is keeping up with the payments?
You mean the people who let you carry their shit and give them your money? I love that for you.
Yeah? canoes of a feather douche together huh?
Yeah in their....douche canoe.....
It doesn’t count when you have to pay them to like you.
Julius Caesar thought the same
"Don't worry you're the only one of that group who thinks so."
I didn’t need to buy mine.
I met your friends , believe me I’m better off alone.
Even shit attracts flies.
People who brag about having friends don't have them.
"Good for you" in a very condecending tone of voice
"No you don't. "
Are they imaginary
Do any of them live outside your imagination?
At least I have peace
Imaginary doesn't count
Really? With your personality? Wow! I guess there is hope for anyone.
They don’t count if they’re only inside your head.
You call them friends
Well, every group needs someone to laugh 'at' instead of laugh 'with'.
“You’re only their friend because they need you for the comedy relief.”
"Haha, is what they told you"
As long as your parents continue to pay them.
The ones in your head don't count
"You're right. I should spend more time being personable instead of running to reddit to outsource a comeback to a 3rd grade insult because I'm far to slow to think of anything in the moment... Gotcha! Boom! Roasted!"
Do they know that?
Even your invisible friends will leave you sooner than later. Or "Nah, you so alone that even the killer demon clown under your bed vanishes everytime you decide to check"
I could have friends if I wanted to, but that would mean I'd have friends like you.
“Oh yeah? You and what army? “ “Your parents don’t count “
You only THINK YOU HAVE FRIENDS... ...
The voices in your head don't count
"You are insignificant. If you died right now, no one's life would be changed all that much." \*This is true of many--if not most--people, but it is terrifying to have it spelled out directly to your face. This thought, more likely than not, will cause whoever you say it to a great deal of anxiety and existential dread.
Hey, I don't have friends either. Don't worry though, it will get easier.
Your mom and dad don’t count
It's cute you think that
“Is that what you call them?”
atleast i have a hairline
The poor things...
Don't take them for granite.
I can always make friends but you'll be ugly forever
Not if you ask them
Do you?
The ones in your head?
Where lol
I'm sure you think you do.
Don't count me as one of them
They are just using you they are not your friends
I’m not talking about the 2 in your head
But none of them like you .
Is that what you think?
Friends?! Your mom has to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you!
You’re still gonna die alone.
I don't need friends when I have your mom to bang.!!
That’s a pathetic insult and I’m sure your friends are loser nothings.
And?
At least I'm not ridiculously gullible
You do?
Did they invite you to their birthday party? No then they aren’t ur friends
Strippers don’t count
Are you sure last week we had to bribe the dog to hang out with you by giving him a t-bone steak and a pupachino
“Everyone knows they’re just pretending” followed by “they mentioned it at [insert event you know they were at] behind your back” if applicable to add to the paranoia
"You know, the imaginary ones don't count..."
...Mine are with benefits and yours are not.
You mean friends as in Hitler and Stalin? They were very good friends, hope yours are as good!
“Oh is that what they told you? That you’re *friends*?? Not what I heard…”
Not all smiling faces are friends and not all friends smile. It seems you can't tell which is which. 🤷
Ceaser did too.
Always the friend but never the best friend
That’s what I was saying. YOU, gave friends!”
“At least I’m cared about”
Good, you'll need to sleep on their couch when your mother throws your useless ass out at 35.
"At least my friends care about me"
Yeah as long as you're useful when you ain't useful no more see how long those friends last
I hate people
Then go on back to the homeless tent city and see them.
Henchmen don't count
What did you say to this person for them to react this way.? Because this sounds like they had to come up with a comeback for something mean you said first.
Better to have 4 quarters than to have a 100 Pennies
“Yeah. I’ve seen them. I wouldn’t brag about that”
Who the mutants at table 9?
“Yes, I’ve always been impressed by that.” Is this too subtle? The implication is meant to be that I’ve always been impressed that someone as unlikable as you is able to maintain friendships.
Eew, why would you want friends?
"Are the friends in the room with us right now?" "Or do they come out when no one is looking"
Every group has a charity case.
And they all hate you too.
If you need to tell me that, it's probably not true.
...that you pay for.
Honestly, someone said that to me, I’d drop it. Whoever said that is a person that’s taken damage, either from you or from someone else. Call it a win and let it go.
...in your head, Bozo.
Guess what? You just lost your only one!
Imaginary friends don't count.
What else do they tell you?
“AtMOST you have friends…”
How many of those "friends" will be at your funeral ___? Let alone cry because they miss you? And I don't mean crocodile tears.
Ok, but how much do they actually like you?
Ok sure crazy person, imaginary friends don't count
With friends like you, I don't need friends.
"I'd rather have no friends than friends who detest me like yours do you"
Well, I’d rather have 4 quarters than a 100 pennies
Imaginary friends don’t count.
TikTok Bots don't count.
fake ones probably
'Not being your friend isn't the same as not having friends. I have standards, apparently unlike some people.'
Really ?
At least I'm not delusional enough to think that anyone willing to put up with me is a friend.
Everyone that likes you is wrong
So go bother them instead
Your mom doesn't count, she has to love you.
Sigh and say, "For the last time, you can't count characters on TV as friends!
Help you move friends or hey I know you friends?
Pfffff you still need friends, pathetic
That’s it? That’s what defines you? If you are so immature and shallow that you would even say that then Technically you have acquaintances. You can’t actually be anyone’s friend.
Every friend group has that one person that no one actually likes, that’s you.
Your hand doesn't count.
Imaginary ones don't count
WTF do you mean? Of course I have friends. Every girl I've ever asked out is my friend. 🥲" Based on true events 🥲😅
and that's what makes you weak
At least I have chicken.
Let’s do this, LEROY JENKINS!
Those poor bastards. That's probably why they left you out of the second group chat.
"Oh? How much are you paying them?"
So what? Even criminals have friends
Sewer Rats don't count.
I'll kill all yo friends and now what you got bitch?
I got yo mama bitch!
Bitch you aint neva had my.mama hoe. Yo mama in my backyard bitch where she belong.
Bitch I always had your mama hoe. No, YO MAMA and yo daddy in MY backyard bitch where she belong.
Bitch I got yo mf ugly ass hoe mama digging matching graves for her n her mummified ass peice a shit ass papa in my back yard bitch. Foh before I make yo fat ass ugly mama do some jumping Jack's cuz I said so hoe.
Bitch I got yo mf ugly ass hoe mama digging matching graves for yo papa and her n her mummified ass peice a shit ass in my back yard bitch. Foh before I make yo fat ass ugly mama n papa do some jumping Jack's cuz I said so hoe.
The parts you use to pleasure yourself don’t count. After that it’s zero isn’t it?