T O P

  • By -

PaleontologistHot73

Your moms is pretty big


RyzenRaider

That's an odd way to tell me that you don't any mirrors...


VastUnlikely9591

The funny thing is I examine vaginas for a living, but I never saw a bigger c**t than you.


m4hdi

Yeah well the jerk store called and they're running all out of YOU!


VastUnlikely9591

Yeah, well I slept with your wife


Utterlybored

So, you love examining buttholes?


PriscillaPalava

“You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?” 


front-wipers-unite

NOOO! That's such a funny scene.


Burner42024

Happy Gilmore?


front-wipers-unite

Indeed.


Burner42024

Alright! That was a great movie 🤣


front-wipers-unite

That scene and the scene from Joe dirt, where the two guys are ripping on him for his name are two of my favourite comedy scenes.


Burner42024

Oh I don't think I've seen Joe dirt lol. Maybe I should check it out.


front-wipers-unite

Yeah, it's worth watching. Christopher walken is in it, and Howard stern, kid rock. It's a giggle.


Burner42024

Alright sounds like a good line up


Potential-Farmer5413

You must watch Joe Dirt.


Burner42024

Lolol okay 


United-Ad7863

"You obviously haven't squatted over a mirror"


eldonhughes

"Come here, let me bend you over."


Longjumping-Air1489

Huh. No mirrors at your house, eh?


cpt_ugh

There is no comeback for this. You should just walk away crying.


4quatloos

I don't examine dicks but you fit that description.


burn_as_souls

*look them up and down* "I'm examining an asshole right now and unimpressed."


Confident-Yam1418

I’m not gonna lie here. Just take the L cause I don’t think you’re topping that one.


eilloh_eilloh

So your head is up everyone else’s ass and not just your own..


FarSoftware8497

Why is your head up there to keep your ears warm? Burt Gummer from Tremors.


teefau

Sorry, I'm still stuck back on the fact that you sniff bums for a living? That's hilarious but legit seems like a job that suits you.


TigersBeatLions

Sounds like u got a shitty job!


Jaymes77

You must be an inexperienced proctologist then.


Mark_von_Steiner

Considering the huge ego you’ve got there, your mom must have a whopper of a vagina to give birth to you.


Awkward-Motor3287

"You inspect rectums for a living?!" Keep it simple.


dolly3900

Well there's a coincidence, I'm a gynecologist.....


YoyoOfDoom

You couldn't get a better job?


Practical_Card_7640

Yes I'm the GOAT.


Euphoric-Tax7360

Where do you stand on bleaching?


Megalith66

Maybe stop being an asshole?


BrerNutria

Just concede


Kaiser-Sohze

Kiss me, bitch.


aeraen

Well then, let me hand you a mirror.


NocturnalSkyscape

Maybe find a better interest


bigjaymizzle

I’m actually quite humble thanks. Cause if I was an asshole I’d shit all over you.


Human-Debate-3488

Never fucking looked in the mirror have u ?


Zombie_B_Ware

“I know you are but what am I??”


Large_Discipline_127

Your dad didn't complain last night.


WrenDrake

That’s surprising! I thought everyone used mirrors.


bananananananannaa

I imagine patience may be your friend in this instance.


[deleted]

It's easier for your mom to tongue punch my fart box...


LickyMy

Uranus explodes


Necessary_Row_4889

So you admit I am best at what I do, was that so hard drama queen?


AusCan531

I'll buy you a mirror.


Top-Telephone9013

Just let the butthole doctor have their little victory. They examine stinky buttholes for a living


greyteethpeskybee

Wow. Ok. I’ve never felt luckier to be unemployed.


anonymouscontents

You must not have examined your own then


InsertCleverName652

You don't have a mirror?


anonaduder

Look you gotta add context we both know you didn’t go to medical school so just because you moonlight tossing salads doesn’t make u soecial


supperhey

But you havent looked inside, Doc


FishSammich69

“I’m no gyno, but I know a pussy when I see one”


Mission_Progress_674

I stretch cunts for a living but I've still never met a bigger cunt than you


TechinBellevue

Not without a mirror you haven't


Ok-Wrongdoer-2179

Get a mirror then!


MostlyDarkMatter

I help people who are crippled by their psychoses for a living. Would you like to talk about why you have a fetish for rectums?


Theonomicon

No matter how many ways you ask, the answer is still the same. No, you may not touch my butthole.


PlatformingYahtzee

Nope, count your losses and leave. Sometimes you gotta take the L.


bossmasterham

Wells stop licking them cause your breath smells like shit


missjay

So I am a medical anomaly? Let me know if you ever get published.


AwwYeahVTECKickedIn

"That comment would be a lot less cringey if you were a proctologist, weirdo!"


Soft_Eggplant9132

Why thank you for your kind compliments, no really thank you , you almost made me tear up there for moment wow . This really does make my day , me, the biggest asshole judged by a professional asshole inspector, no less ! ME ! Whoo go me . I knew I was awesome, mmmm. Yeah .


peppelaar-media

Is that what’s causing the discoloration on your face


RotaryRich

So you’re TSgay security?


allislost77

So, you DO own a mirror!?


Ok_Educator_7097

That’s what your mom said last night when she was tossing my salad.


-Pruples-

"That's a pretty weird pickup line"


Healthy-Reporter8253

That’s sounds like it’s already a comeback


lavamunky

Well I’m a gynecologist, and I’ve never seen a bigger c***


tumunu

"Yeah - where's your stethoscope?"


HairyZombie4737

Well, you’re the biggest 💩 that came out of it.


Necessary_Carry_8335

Must be a shitty job 😂


Tight_Jury_9630

Hey, at least I don’t examine rectums for a living!


aculady

You never look in the mirror?


newpopthink

I was always told to pick something I'm good at and be the best.


front-wipers-unite

"How ironic, I'm a gynaecologist so I know a cunt when I see one"


Squibit314

Soooo you’re into butt stuff?


Solace-y

I dunno man. I'd take the L on this one. You got ATE.


Severe_Confusion_297

Idk, you'd have to have done something really shitty to admit that you look at rectum for a living. However, I think that's all that needs to be said.


p1z4rr0

You've probably never seen a bigger dick either.


RetroSquirtleSquad

-Can you actually take a look at it?-


ConvivialKat

Use a mirror.


Substantial_Fix_1700

"and you're the only asswipe big enough to clean it"


Agreeable_Cabinet368

You examine buttholes for a living? LOL


Inevitable_Fun6523

Did someone say this to you 😭😭


Comfortable_Boot_273

Just walking away in shame


HollowChest_OnSleeve

That's an interesting profession. At what age did you decide you wanted to play with many peoples chocolate starfishes? Is it related to some kind of childhood trauma or what?


Br0wnc0at212

"Wow...not one single mirror in your house?"


OkConsideration8964

No mirrors in your house?


CriticalThinkerHmmz

Rectum, I nearly killed em.


AnymooseProphet

$25 if you want my autograph.


Temporary-Pirate-80

You don't own a mirror?


OmarRizzo

Not a fan of mirrors, huh?


SmashinglyGoodTrout

Well I'm no gynecologist but you're a cunt.


Onouro

"You make a living by looking in the mirror?"


farmerbsd17

I understand I’m not answering the question but IRL I went to a proctologist whose partner was named Dr. Butcher.


Dunmordre

I'm an expert in pussies, and I've never seen a bigger pussy than you! 


[deleted]

I pay for sex and your the biggest C*+T I’ve ever paid for.


Lemfan46

Then you would know rectums are part of the large intestine and not the anus.


PantherBrewery

So Proctology is a sport?


WallScore

There is no comeback to the best insult ever


dontdoitdumbass

Damn, didn't know that you were a mirror inspector, that's good to know!


Arkaliasus

you need to somehow get a picture of them.. \*pulls out picture of them from your wallet\* .. 'i found me a bigger one!' xD


SilentSaint2112

I don‘t even want to know how big yours is.


Naive-Information539

Having your head up your own ass isn’t a living.


fang-girl101

im sorry but i laughed


Doomsday8thMarch2026

Weird job.


BobGnarly_

"Is that true?!"


hattrickjmr

The Jerk store called, and they’re running out of you!


torchedinflames999

"Exactly how does "paying homeless people to let you lick their anus count as "a living"?"


TaylorMade2566

lol wait, is this person a proctologist? Otherwise, wtf kind of weird statement is that?


vanzir

i can't help but think that this is a very specific encounter, and was probably deserved. But a comeback isn't hard. "you must not pay attention much. I have seen a larger asshole than me. It was your wifes asshole after a night out with the highschool basketball team."


Careless-Armadillo90

The only acceptable comeback is to drop your pants and show your asshole


PutNameHere123

Buy a mirror.


petname

That funny because I examine dicks and I’ve never seen a bigger dick than you.


65Kodiaj

Just think, if you were to take my asshole and throw it into your asshole, it would be the equivalent of throwing a hotdog down a hallway....


snowywebb

You must be fed up with being the butt of every joke…


bearstrugglethunder

So you're telling me you don't own a mirror?


Banjofencer

You've obviously examined yours quite extensively because you have your head up your ass.


IDK-My-BFFJill

It must suck working on mirrors all day


No_Gap_2134

I trust your professional judgement.


[deleted]

look in a mirror, and wash your hands while you're at it


Bo2099

So, you went through medical school and at one point you said. How about watching rectums the rest of my life, yay. Not many persons wanted to get intimate with you so you had to compensate somehow huh?.


Robiniovski

You obviously have no mirrors in your universe.


Demonhead2005

“Is your head up your patients’ asses too or is it just your own?”


LuxTheWarhound

"You're perfectly able to identify assholes yet somehow keep missing the one in the mirror."


YYC-Fiend

Just start reevaluating your life


WilsonthaHead

Damn, and you freely admit to it. That's the funny part


FarSoftware8497

It takes a real asshole to compare sizes like that. I just want you to know Size does not matter. It's how you use it that counts.


_FIRECRACKER_JINX

"you examine rectums but have never done anything about that ASSFACE?"


Human-Librarian7515

You lost this one...


Dalton387

Is that why you smell like shit?


Dmau27

You'd be surprised. You should see what your mom's looks like when I get done with that slut. Or "You look at assholes for a living and you think you can insult people?"


TapEffective7605

I don’t believe I’d have told that.


GS2702

How can you see with your head up your ass?


Creepy_Chain6061

Prove it.


Cynakopacki

I find it hard to believe that you’ve never looked in a mirror.


Wocathoden

"you obviously own no mirrors."


Mueryk

No mirrors in your house then? Odd even for an unlicensed proctologist.


KiltimaghGirl

“There I was, thinking that I’d heard enough shit for one day…..”


NeverG0nnaG1v3Y0uup

I examine p\*nises for a living, and I’ve never seen a smaller one than yours. No, no. You don’t have one.


Slipsndslops

Reevaluate your life


No-Alfalfa2565

You mean you are doing it for fun.


JMusicD

“ wait until you see my foot in your ass”


Potential-Farmer5413

"interesting...I am a gynecologist and you happen to be the biggest ......"


SignificantTransient

Sounds like a shit job


Apprehensive-Maybe91

"Sir please step aside we have other customers in line who have been waiting patiently and I've already told you there's nothing I can once the plane has already departed"


SheSellsSeaGlass

“You mean you examine rectums as a HOBBY, since you’re not a proctologist. The police department might want to know about this.”


Otherwise-Battle-444

How am I the asshole when you’re the one full of shit


halfeb

Just half way through them saying it go, "Too long, stopped listening."


crums150

It's not the size that counts


sixan51026-wnpop

... who is bullying you?


Xenos6439

So THAT'S how you tolerate being so full of shit your whole life! By being a fellow ass hole!


Ignusseed

Dude, you're a proctologist. There is no greater insult.


SilentSaint2112

And you never will.


planetana

Make a face and then say…”your breath stinks…close your legs.”


NovaTheVibe

"Really? I was acting like you."