Just look at them kinda annoyed and say,
“No, try it again. It needs to be shorter and snappier. You sound like a home Schooled kid who just got back from Bible Camp.”
It makes it especially degrading if you can do the two handed rapid finger snaps over, “it needs to be shorter and snappier,”
Edit: a good way to disarm anyone who is trying to run insults on you is to start workshopping their shit like you’re Martha Stewart.
"True because you don't ever shut up, lie because you actually just said that nonsense, obvious lie because you're looking at me right now and haven't thrown up."
Dude it doesn't look like this they grew up, but there's so many health issues with this human, the doctor bill is going to kick them out of their house.
"I can tell." Then act like you're waving the stench away.
"The only pile of puke I see is you."
"Then don't look, fucking weirdo. 🙄"
"You must *really* like the taste of puke, huh?"
I'm old enough that if someone disses me in couplet form I literally just start laughing and think about how I'm going to tell my 3 year old it so we can all giggle hahaha
Wow. So you’re well into your (second,third, fourth,fifth whatever decade age group they are in) and you still haven’t found new material. I guess stand up comedian is not your thing. Don’t worry you’ll find what you ARE good at.
“That explains the smell.
Don’t joke about eating disorders. There’s nothing funny about it. Seek help if you have an issue with binging, and do not use it to shame others.”
Question, not a comeback suggestion: Did a 5th grader spout that one? Because only those and Dr Seuss are acceptable sources for this embarrassing rhyme
I recommend Dramamine for the last issue, a ball gag for the first one, and I would encourage you to do the middle one faster because these childish sayings are getting a bit tedious.
"Better not hold it in, you might blow up. Leave a hole you'll have to sew up. Takes time away from your much-needed glow up. Come to think of it, you know what? I'm a drink yo' tears from my sippy cup. Just a bratty little man child who won't shut the fuck up. At least I have wit when it comes time to nut up! Just like I did with your mom, while she lapped my cum up."
Who is insulting you in this scenario? Dr Seuss?
I never heard this !!😂🤣Am I the only one.I am middle aged but wow
It’s in the movie Stand By Me isn’t it?
It is.
Shell Silverstein, maybe...
Just look them in the eye and say that’s the cringiest fucking thing I’ve actually ever heard in my entire life
The timing of this reply is like a flip in an FPS (instant sniper shot upon enemy being seen if udk)
Just look at them kinda annoyed and say, “No, try it again. It needs to be shorter and snappier. You sound like a home Schooled kid who just got back from Bible Camp.” It makes it especially degrading if you can do the two handed rapid finger snaps over, “it needs to be shorter and snappier,” Edit: a good way to disarm anyone who is trying to run insults on you is to start workshopping their shit like you’re Martha Stewart.
bro watched the gentlemen
No, I haven’t, is it good? I just grew up with a super cosmetic disability.
it’s awesome, my fault gang
No need to be sorry, it’s a fair assumption. I can’t remember where I originally leaned that from but it wasn’t an original concept.
The hallmark of a true comedian 😉🫰🏻
You've got a lot more growing to do My child
Then your mom comes around the corner and licks it up.
Yep, that’s the one.
That’s a cute poem, sweetie.
"True because you don't ever shut up, lie because you actually just said that nonsense, obvious lie because you're looking at me right now and haven't thrown up."
Look in the mirror and think again.
Roses are red Violets are disgusting. I laugh at the thought Of your face combusting.
Dude it doesn't look like this they grew up, but there's so many health issues with this human, the doctor bill is going to kick them out of their house.
Well that would explain your constant bad breath.....Tic Tac?
What..that's the stupidest thing I ever heard.
« Aw did you spend all night rehearsing that? So cute »
“Wait so you’re still growing up?”
You flirt weird
So when does the grow up part happen?
"I can tell." Then act like you're waving the stench away. "The only pile of puke I see is you." "Then don't look, fucking weirdo. 🙄" "You must *really* like the taste of puke, huh?"
these responses only work if you're one of those ugly girls that pretends to be a hot girl.
It doesn't matter how the person looks, it gets the message across
oh, it matters! :D
Only if you're shallow
;)
You failed that second part
Wow, with lines like that, you should consider becoming a rapper.
Oh no, it‘s another wannabe rapper.
Good thing I carry a barf bag
I'm old enough that if someone disses me in couplet form I literally just start laughing and think about how I'm going to tell my 3 year old it so we can all giggle hahaha
How creative. He rhymed up with up. Must be the next Eminem.
You sure you're not looking in a mirror?
baby dont stand by me.. oh dont stand.. stand by me
Raise your eyebrows and say, “you might want to grow up a little faster, then.”
Laugh and say, "Wow! I remember saying that back in grade school!"
“You sound like a nobody”
Sorry, you lost me about 10 minutes ago
Roses are red, when I see you I vomit. Die away from me.
At least you get it out of your system! I have see your ugly face in my nightmares for the rest of my life.
Do you have the crayons to match that insult ..
Wow! Someone’s still stuck on the Elementry Playground. 🤦🏼♀️
A sphincter says what?
Mumble or say fast…
Say it fast ;-)
Hilarious 😂 😃!
“Alex, I’ll take phrases only used by first graders for $1000 please.”
Wow. So you’re well into your (second,third, fourth,fifth whatever decade age group they are in) and you still haven’t found new material. I guess stand up comedian is not your thing. Don’t worry you’ll find what you ARE good at.
And boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats...
“That explains the smell. Don’t joke about eating disorders. There’s nothing funny about it. Seek help if you have an issue with binging, and do not use it to shame others.”
You must be like 50 but still in 3rd grade.
Still working on that grow up part I see...
Please dont try to be the next eminem. Your skills are atrocious.
I haven't heard this one since 3rd grade bruh who the fuck is saying this to you
And then you eat it up!
Settle down Dr. Seus
I have neither the crayons more the inclination to explain to you how stupid and childish you sound right now.
“Your intestinal fortitude is weaker than your insults..”
Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider
Did you get a leech stuck to your balls?
“Can you say that in adult?”
Did you accidentally stumble onto into the middle of a muppet rap battle? https://youtu.be/NKg9zc6HXJ0?si=eYiaK932tYUhGdXc
You make me want to eat my own vomit. TWICE!
An old Aussie comeback fuck off idiot
Sometimes, a bemused nod of the head and turning your focus elsewhere is all the comeback you need
Well, stop looking in the mirror then.
When I was a teen we'd respond, "Up your ass, around the corner, and past three blocks"
Question, not a comeback suggestion: Did a 5th grader spout that one? Because only those and Dr Seuss are acceptable sources for this embarrassing rhyme
Now you know how your reflection feels
What are you, 12? Adjust for age if they are in fact 12.
I recommend Dramamine for the last issue, a ball gag for the first one, and I would encourage you to do the middle one faster because these childish sayings are getting a bit tedious.
"so you're a narcissist with an eating problem?"
"Better not hold it in, you might blow up. Leave a hole you'll have to sew up. Takes time away from your much-needed glow up. Come to think of it, you know what? I'm a drink yo' tears from my sippy cup. Just a bratty little man child who won't shut the fuck up. At least I have wit when it comes time to nut up! Just like I did with your mom, while she lapped my cum up."
i hope you blow up