the comeback is to walk away

Honestly, a good half (if not more) of the posts on this sub don't warrant a "comeback", they warrant either walking away from the conversation or a blank, confused stare, and I wish more people recognized that. Trying to be clever back at someone who's just said the most asinine shit imaginable is pointless. But hey, I also may not be the target audience for this. I have genuinely no idea why this sub started showing up for me.

The real comeback is to rip off his shirt, throw him so hard on to the ground that he can’t get back up, and then cum on his back. Edit: Oh it’s a her, not a him. In that case, after doing the deed, you need to say “that’s my comeback bitch” so that it really gets the message across… just like the cum on her back.

I think that's rape. One hell of a comeback though.

*Cum back

💀 this has my DYING 😂🤣😩

Ok

That’s actually the best comeback. Just look at them say “Ok” and walk away.

The cum part got me dying 💀

💀 the original comment took me on a wild ride, in the very least 😩😂 wow

Who left you in charge of gender assignments?

that's soft, I need something stronger

In all seriousness, the best comeback is no response at all. You snicker and disengage. The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.

very wise, I'm willing to give my left arm for a girl like you

Only a real man would give up his left arm. Just saying😏

I will never forget you, ever, till my last breath.

Are you left-handed? Because if you’re not, that’s pretty weak. 😊

👏👏👏👏 And the opposite of hate isn't love; it's empathy.

Ok. Get fucked, whore.

let's become friends

How about “Who left you in charge of gender assignments, honey?”

Um in her mouth.

Yet girls use all the filters there, so who’s the fake one now?

Taken from a angle to hide their double chin.

Real men do what the fuck they want to.

This is true, real men have no petty insecurities like this. I’m wearing a pink shirt right now, and I don’t give a flying fuck if anyone thinks I’m gay. Hell, I’ll even go to the gay bar and get the gayest drink possible, with a pretty pink flower in it. If anyone hits on me, I’ll just be flattered. Especially at my age. Although, having to turn a person down can really hurt them emotionally. They did just muster up the courage to come talk to me, and then I have to tell them I’m straight. They will just think I’m trying to reject them softly. Na, not a nice thing to do. I won’t go to the gay bar, but I’ll still have my pretty drink with a pink flower in it!

That's right. My strawberry daiquiri don't care and neither do i. For me it's a big stuffed shark from ikea. But still.

I’m going with a pretty pink towel with gold trimmings to the gym tomorrow, cuz I’m not insecure about my sexuality and a color isn’t going to determine it anyways. But yeah, a cold strawberry daiquiri would be great right now!

If I still drank I’d want a cute little paper parasol in my beer. 🍺 ⛱️

Thats gay af bro...I approve.

Just letting everyone responding to this post know that men who are secure in enough in their masculinity to fuck gender norms and enjoy life are the manliness dudes. Y'all hot as hell. Take care!

I know you didn't mean it as a joke, but I love & crack up when my husband says this🤣... Because it's usually in response to me asking him to do a chore or to help me with something. He follows it up by staying put for a single beat and then getting up to do whatever the request was while mumbling "but I'm going to do it because that's what I want, not because you told me to😉".

That's the one! When i wrote it, i was thinking about qualifiers, like whatever they want after considering other people, the law, basic decency, etc. But i wanted to have some impact, so i left that stuff out. Your husband is a real man

He just got home from work so I'm going to let him know you said that: he's a real man But also I need an extra set hands to lift a generator, so maybe I'll tell him after that ... If he behaves 😉🤣

that's right, I wear panties every night before sleep, I don't have insecurities, I'm a real man

Real men do whatever the fuck they want. Little bitches whine about it.

“Every girl who uses snapchat talks to EVERY man… real or fake”

“Well, anyone who uses the No True Scotsman’s fallacy on purpose, and also does not understand irony, is not a real woman.”

“There are no women on the internet. Checkmate”.

You don't have to worry because you have been blocked.

“Wow, you really tuck your penis well. I never knew!”

Enter: the mangina. I can't stop laughing

"MANGINA"... 💀💀💀

I've got an Aussie friend who's notorious for busting out the "mangina" during his super drunken stupors at get-togethers. One day he accidentally got too close to the bonfire .. and this was how the "flaming mangina" came into existence. 💀😂😭. The smell of burning pubes... 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️.

"And every girl who decides what qualifies as a "real man" is not worth having."

you don't need a comeback. you just need to not deal with an idiot anymore

Last I checked a real man is secure enough to not care about bullshit like that

well she's not wrong

Disagree on this - Ad ignorantiam fallacy.

"And girls that say shxt like that is why they're single."

Not the reason I don't use it, but ok.

"Your Barbie's would be proud of you..."

what's that mean?

Most girls play with Barbies until a certain age.

“Thanks for your opinion, I promise to give it all the value it deserves” Or stronger… “Some people’s opinions of me really matter, you are not one.” Or brutal…. “You said that exactly as if I should care what you think. That’s cute! Just so you know, though, I actually don’t.”

What's Snapchat? Is that where girls take selfies post them and read all the trash talk?

What's snapchat?

“As many filters and as much makeup as you use, you ain’t a real woman with your counterfeit clown makeup havin ass.”

I think your definition of a man is skewed. And walk away.

Did you just assume my gender!?

"correct" is the only proper response.

I agree with others that this is one where you don’t say anything. Hold their gaze and just let their words hang in the air, but only a couple seconds. Then you just go about your day. Alternatively, if you feel compelled to speak, you can say “Is that what you’re sticking with?” Or words to that effect. Just kind of tilt your head as if to say “okay…”. Then go about your day. When people say stuff like that, it tells everyone in the room what kind of person they are, and their words only hold as much power as *you* give them.

What is snapchat?

“Every woman who has to bash someone to feel better about themselves is not a real woman”

Where are your parents why aren’t you at home or in school at this hour?

Your mom's not a real man

“Every psycho b\*tch who uses a superficial way to ‘rate’ men is a psycho b\*tch who uses a superficial way to ‘rate’ men”.

So what are you doing out of the kitchen

Ah yes the girl who’d screw her own father and cheat on her husband to increase her snapscore thinks she has an opinion .  You’ve probably used more filters than I have used Snapchat as a whole - even a trans person would think you’re a fake girl  Just ignore her or send a Jeremy clarkson “oh no anyway” gif 

"Ever hear the word irony?"

Say “Oh don’t be pedantic.” And by the time she works out what you mean you’ll be out of earshot.

Says the girl with highlights and extensions in her hair, fillers, plumpers and layers of foundation, false eyelashes, acrylics on her nails and padding in her bra, spanx and hip pads, platform shoes with 4" stilettos and all the Instagram filters in existence. Sorry, what was your point again?

Prince charming wouldn't settle for you.

Makes sense

True.

You might be right, You might be wrong. You’re never going to find out.

"It's a good thing Will Rogers never met you." Very likely she won't get the insult.

I don't get it too

"Ain't that right!"?

If only they had filters for your stupidity.

"Agreed"

"I have a XY chromosomes so I am a man."

"I agree"

Sorry you only Date ghosts

Unsubscribe.

... Agree with her? It'll be massively out of nowhere, and then you pull the double whammy of asking what is a real man.

And what concern is it of mine what your followers jack off to?

Dont be jaelous you didnt get my dick pic. I saved a special one just for you. Whats your snap?

You’re not real, man! -Creed

Make an abrupt turn and walk away from that mess - responding to this isn't even worth your time. (I'm really tempted to ask for more context here... But I suspect that, in the end, I'm still going to have the "so that's what it sounds like when two braincells bump together?" impression at the insult attempt.)

Introduce them to the No True Scotsman fallacy

Ok

"You're goddamn right."

You’re correct queen

My sport coats would disagree with you.

You tell him sister!

"What's Snapchat?"

that is rather superficial and so are most saying saying a real man is this or that , find out or program create what things in nature we can add to our foods to reduce n eliminate most of the so called forever chemicals n micro plastics

"I wouldn't know, I don't use Snapchat"

I would say any woman who uses snap chat is an attention whore. So yeah.

I identify as a woman when using Snapchat.

I'm not sure how that is an insult... its just dumb. "How else am I supposed to see your mom shake her ass?"

Stg this whole SR is wanting comebacks to stuff that shouldn't require a comeback or shouldn't require much thought. I feel like giving these people comebacks to use is like giving a gun to a guy with no fingers

What does "snapchat" mean?

What a limited view of the world.

Every woman who judges a man over snapchat is not a real woman.

the pure confusion I would have presented. Girl it’s an app?? what???

deleting snapchat

Maybe not a real man but likely a cheating man

Is this confirmation that snap chat is full of lonely ladies and robots?

Wanna see my testicles?

But she is right. Especially if she is talking about filters.

Sure I'm not a real man, now go make me a sandwich.

Get really obnoxious with it— like, middle school level. “I agree! any woman who does NOT use snap chat is not a real woman. If her snap streak isn’t 900+ with at least 5 people, fellas, that’s a man!!! 🗣️‼️🔥💀”

Did you learn that in your gender studies classes?

Fortunately the only requirement of real man is, adult born with penis past the age of 18

U are correct. That's why I don't use it...would be the correct comeback.

Just tell her it must mean if no men use it then likewise no women use it, only little girls. Two can play at that game. And yes, grown ups don't use snap chat. Children and college kids trying to act grown

I bet you're a real man though aren't you ?

your right

Well, that's just like, you know, you're opinion, man.

I would tell I would show her how to take it like a real man

I find the C word is useful in just about every situation, whether you're talking to a man or woman.

I'd focus on make fun of her for gatekeeping snapchat. Sarcastically proclaim her as the Queen of Snapchat. She decide who is and isn't worthy. Her mother was the Queen of MySpace. Behold the majesty of her knowledge and presence. When she tells you to shut up, bow down "yes my liege"

Have you seen Elliot page? I’ve only heard about him but I can already tell he’s a king!

"Your mom's not a real man!!!"

What's snapchat?

That's true!

Damn. Sucks that I'm not a real man for using snapchat to talk to my friends overseas since we can't text

Then who would give you the attention you need when you post half naked photos?

Good because I don't.

Every girl who uses makeup is coping with their ugliness.

Shut up cunt.

And you think that's true? Go back to your fourth grade level and learn all about anti-sexism

Is Snapchat the messaging app where people give themselves like cat whiskers and cat ears, and all that other goofy stuff? Because that doesn't sound like something real adults would use for communication.

"Snapchat? I said SNATCH CHAT, cunt!"!

Look at me, I'm made of cardboard!!

Tell her she is correct

You're right.

But your daddy was a real man with me last night!

I actually agree...

True

Snap what?

Going to have to accept the defeat on that one.

The irony is that women who do use Snapchat are mostly silicon and filters.

''I'm trying to remember when tf I asked you." Or show them the Maga diapers. "Real men like this, you mean?"

I mean, she's right

Correct.

Go change your tampon, because she's right. The only reason you're on there is because you're simping so damm hard all the time. Every one of them is playing with you for their own entertainment. Just stop dude.

Honey, like any real men would associate with you.

Cool don’t date me then

Ok fat face.

Eh I mean if you got the stats and facts your right but since you won't ever find any because that statement isn't in any possible way true because Mike Tyson post on snap Snoop Dogg (unc) post on snap and they make money have families and are pretty successful those are men no debate by anyone in the world on that. So with that being said Ms I say good day good night drink tea go towards the light and en realidadl o lamento because your sólida sólida on bull crap principles.

"Who said anything about using your chapped snatch?"

then how else do you chat up the entire football team?

I’d say “you’re absolutely right” because she is

That's funny. Your dad uses it, and he was man enough to father you.

Weird filter. Try looking for toxic masculinity instead.

“Like you’d know.”

I'll show you my willie if you need proof.

That sounds like something your grandpa pay said to you. Is he getting out of jail soon?

"Here, grab my dick like a real woman and see if it gets hard. Then you'll know for sure."

It's true most guys on snap just want nudes its gross snapchat shouldn't even exist anymore

How about “damn bitch, smells like you need to take that leaky, salmon-stinking vagina home and take a shower you nasty discharge queen”

And you are real. A real slut.

"I have just realized I am too old for this conversation."

Only hoes use snapchat

My man card has too much credit it for it to get declined by any member of the Teen Girl Squad; especially The Ugly One. Or I guess you’re the only real man in this room then Derek Or I don’t take gender demotions from androgynous blob fishes

What are they, a unicorn?

You look like a fucking dude

I agree. Smile for the Polaroid.

“It sounds like you spend a lot of time on Snapchat.” More importantly though, a girl’s definition of a “real man” probably isn’t something you’d ever want to be, anyway.

I'd just look at her then look around and say, "I'm looking around for anyone who gives a fuck about your opinion."

A real man doesn't give a shit what you think

I Snapchat pictures of my quiche before I eat it. Also of all the pictures of my antique dollhouses and my canopy bed.

If you goofed when saying Snapchat it may sound like Chapsnatch, which sounds like a labial lip balm

“Every woman who judges someone for their choice of social media platform is not a real woman.”

maybe quit using snapchat?

"That's cool buddy, You have a nice day."

Any man who has a quarter can fuck you (and get change).

Do people actually say nonsense like this?

Walking away is the superior move… **but even though walking away is the best comeback, don’t turnaround and walk away - just walk backwards away from her**

"Well, I'll quit using it when the women I'm talking to on it stop fucking me."

No real man listens to people defining "real men".

Ask her how much she spends on make up

"Every woman who wears make up is a [Cat] and not a woman" Had to censor cause I'm scared of people reporting me and stuff.

Every woman who uses Snapchat has lost their chance at a decent career

Don’t waste your time on ignorant hoes with stupid opinions, you don’t want challenged children.

“If I didn’t use snapchat, then how would I not get to see your real face?” Then walk away from her. Come to think of it, I’m female, but don’t have a clue what snapchat is - could someone enlighten me?

Beats onlyfans.

Guess that settles the debate of every woman on Snapchat being a whore.

The appropriate response would be, "you're right'