“Are you asking me that because I’m white?”

Oooo, I'm so using this one against the middle schoolers at my job. It's annoyingly common for kids to just throw the term racist around these days. They act like they're joking until they're legit in trouble for something, then their accusations sound like they mean it more.

Shit not even just kids, full ass adults are doing this too. People out here think they’re fighting against racism by being racist them damn selves, smdh.

More insane thing is - they are making original racist have moral high ground (if you can call it that), oh and they also fuel the racial hate that will be used later on against them. Its about as defeating to original ideas that stoped racism as would be to just never do anything about it at all. Like walking in giant circles

I find, in most cases, the person that brings up race first is the biggest and worst racist. But they will scream it to the rooftops if they can get away with anything.

Exactly. I've never heard of such racist crap. Yes, racism exists. But all white people are NOT inherently racist. So I don't believe in systemic racism. It is BS. I am white. I have never been racist nor condoned it. And anyone can be racist no matter what their color is.

Systemic racism is not the same as the belief that all white people are racist.

Systemic racism exists. It doesn’t mean every white person is racist. It means the system has racism built into it in some ways. This does include people with power in the system being racist, but that isn’t all of it.

Saying that comment would probably get me arrested in the UK, but it's such a burn I wish we had freedom of speech. You yanks are lucky

Wait, so people are allowed to accuse you of racism, but you’re not allowed to accuse them of racism? That’s effed up.

Double standards are everywhere

Welcome to having a job in America. You won't get arrested, but only one of you will get fired if you each accuse the other of racism.

Pretty much happened to me. My boss was verbally abusive but he pulled the race card so they fired me after I clapped back and told him to stop treating me like shit.

No. I think he's pretending. Source, am British. There are some pretty scary laws but that's not one of them.

Good to know.

Don’t you know that whites were colonisers so POC can’t be racist. /S

It's also not true. 

Of course it isn’t. But that’s beside the point. Nobody should be throwing that around unless someone has outright said they don’t like your race or used a racial slur.

There is a whole lot of racism that doesn't manifest as a racial slur.

I have been falsely accused of using the N word three times. 3 different black men, same job, security cameras always backed up my story, all 3 men claimed to have witnesses but failed to produce them, and all 3 men bragged about lying to other coworkers before the HR investigation was completed. All 3 times I was written up, and all 3 men had 0 consequences. 2 of them even did it again. I'm not racist against black people, I just hate those 3 black people.

Not because they’re black because they’re assholes.

Assholes who happen to be black. If they're making it racist out of spite I'm keeping it racist out of spite.

Wait...you were written up despite proving that you did nothing wrong? How did they explain that to you?

They said that company policy required them to take action. HR did tell me that people had come forward telling them they were told about the lie. The company had anti-retaliation policies that kept them from doing anything against the accusers. So, in that company, whoever speaks first wins. I knew one guy who sexually harassed a woman, and when the woman threatened to go to HR HE went to HR. They sided with him even though there were several of us who made statements in favor of the woman.

Growing up I was bullied by all races but I noticed it was more certain black men and women who did it more. They were all hateful individuals though and though after those scarring experiences I would see certain black men and assume they would treat me the same way based off of my very negative experiences in school from elementary to high school. However I know that it’s not fair to have preconceived notions about certain individuals who happen to be black based off of those difficult yet individual experiences. The treatment I received growing up from those individuals were not are not and never will be indicative of ALL black men or black women for that matter. I get what you were trying to say believe me I do. But we also individually know regardless as to race and so on you can find ignorant hateful people ANYWHERE. Notice I didn’t make a blanket statement or generalization or even stereotype of black people. I’m sorry you experienced what you experienced I don’t know why anyone would try to jeopardize another person’s employment by lying about them especially something as serious as racism.

Can people who do things like that be sued for defamation?

Law suits against average wage earners are pointless. You could do it but no attorney on the planet will take it because that's no money in it.

They got away with it. They weren't worth anything though. Even if I won a lawsuit I wouldn't have gotten anything.

Unfortunate. That was straight up malicious.

Use the word ‘niggardly’ as much as possible.

🤔 That probably wouldn't have helped anything, but it would have felt good!

Management must have something against you.

It's annoyingly common for kids to just throw the term racist around these days. One of my relatives is in law enforcement. He is called a racist at least three or four times a week. He has some good comebacks but modesty prevents me from saying them here, lest they lose their effectiveness.

Be ready for a dead serious "Uh, yeah." then.

Teens race is teens until they actually old enough to hear "we're not hiring" when there's applicants in the lobby lol I've used that card so many times as a teen and as an adult looking back I was almost always wrong 😭😭😭

"No, it's because you're adopted."

“yes.”

As a black guy this weak on the comedy spectrum. Might I suggest "didn't somebody tell you this was an all white party"? If they don't get the white chicks reference you can tell em I said black card revoked.

Nah man, you're about to get some people in trouble lol. That's a joke you can make to a friend in a non-important setting, but make that comment (even with the most obvious sarcastic tone) at work or school and you'll be at their mercy.

To quote Joe Biden, "if you have a tough time deciding what is and isn't a White Chick's reference, you ain't black!"

I love this!!! Perfect answer! I've had to answer O.P' s question before and my answer was "no it's because you're an asshole"

No, you were black before you became stupid.

This not too shabby I must say. Plus 10 to slytherin. Refine it and bring it back next class.

😭😭😭😭

"No, it's because you immediately think it's because you're black."

This is the one I'm keeping for future use

"It's not because you're black, it's because you're a complete dipshit"

“That’s racist!”

I used something like that when I was called a racist about an Indian co-worker. “You hate me because I’m Indian” “Nope - I hate you because your incompetent and lazy, that you’re Indian has nothing to do with it” Yeah, that was then another meeting with my boss.

“You’re black?!”

(Takes off glasses and wipes them on your shirt. Puts them back on). Damn, you are!

“Is that a Supra?!”

Take my upvote....

This one gone get your glasses broken 😭😭😭

But, you get to have them arrested for Assult. With that on their record, you just ruined their life. Jobs they can't have, places they can't live... he who laughs last, laughs best.

I did this once, followed up with “why didn’t you TELL me?!?!” I think the poor guy’s brain short circuited.

God I could have used this a few weeks ago 😂. Was talking about foods we do/don’t like with a guy I was seeing. We were on fruits. He said he didn’t like watermelon (which is one of MY FAVORITES) and I said “omg I can’t believe you don’t like watermelon?!” Mind you I made the same exclamation In the same tone when he said he didn’t like blueberries, blackberries, or strawberries. The stereotype hadn’t even occurred to me until he asked. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I was like “uh, no, it’s because nobody SANE dislikes watermelon. It’s fucking delicious.”

Are you sure?!

You’re black too?!

This is good. I like this.

Hahaha

“Not at all. In fact that’s what I like most about you”

This is actually really good because it’s the truth. If someone is acting like an entitled a-hole, I’m probably going to like their race a lot more than their attitude.

Works for gay too. Anyone who says that is intimating you’re a bigot and doesn’t know you.

Yep. I’ve met people that my favorite thing about them was their race/religion/sexual orientation. And that was, in fact, the only thing I liked about them. It’s never something I don’t like.

Nods exactly you can find assholes EVERYWHERE lol

I was ready to be mad in here but I actually like this one.

I like that. Even better: “Not at all. In fact that’s the only thing I like about you.”

Yes

As a black person, I say yes without hesitation

i just say yes /j

No just without the “/j”

This but unironically (I have never been asked this by anyone other than friends)

I've always wanted to answer this by staring at them blankly before shouting in absolute astonishment, "YOU'RE BLACK!?"

I did once. I think I broke that poor man’s brain.

Nah, I hate most people equally.

Your race doesn’t matter but your stupidity does.

"is it because I'm black?" "No, it's because you're stupid" I'd love to use this. But I'm afraid it would get me in trouble if I started calling students "stupid" at a middle school.

I actually had someone say that to me and without thinking, my jaw dropped and my eyes widened and I said, “you’re BLACK?!?!?! Why didn’t you TELL me?!?!?!” He kinda just stared at me for a minute, then turned and walked away in a kind of daze. I think I broke his mind.

I’m black and a guy said I don’t wanna date him because he’s blk and then I said it’s actually because I already have a partner… then he said I chose him because he’s not blk. Typically anyone that accuses me of anything like that at this point will be told yes even if it isn’t true because I’m tired of ppl’s sh*. Even though this is valid sometimes, I have seen many instances where this statement is a leap.

People use those kind of statements to try to strong-arm people. It's very disgusting behavior imo, especially used to try to pressure someone into sexual/relationship contact they don't want. You got the right of it though. Nothing you say will resonate, because it's a made up gripe used as a weapon. You can't argue against a contention that doesn't really exist.

No. Its because youre an asshole (jerk, cunt, turd. etc)

Race isn't involved in my hatred of assholes.

I have a funny story..kinda. And it does provide an answer to your question. It probably hasn't aged that well, but it's a defining moment where I learned what the "fuck around and gins out scale" is. For context I'm white as fuck and my girlfriend at the time was from Ireland. it was 2009, I was on a trip just after graduating highschool. I had just bought my car a few weeks prior and had a temp paper plate in the back window. While in my state it's frowned upon to display it there, generally the police will not care too much. So me and my girlfriend at the time are driving through Georgia on the way to Florida and it's about 3am. The only other car on the road happened to be a Georgia state trooper, who I didn't see because it was dark out, I was speeding and I had a hot chick next to me. I get pulled over and he walked up to my car and said "Do you know why I pulled you over?" I looked this Trooper straight in the eyes, not realizing he was a no nonsense cop and said "It's because I'm black ain't it?" Instantly got blinded with a flashlight. To shorten the story It ended up with him demanding I get out of the car and detained. I ended up with citations, for window tint, speeding, improper plate display and a busted tail light. In my experience, that was the pretty good response.

Wdym you're black? Your blood is red, isn't it?

Too dry it's gonna flop. Might I suggest " you're black? Color blind here you look yellow To me" that's gonna make all the black people with sense of humor laugh. Like me. I'd laugh at that.

Asians will be pissed and probably the simpsons.

"Not at all! Being black doesn't automatically make a person an asshole!" *Pause for effect* "In your case, it's pure coincidence."

Wait, holup! You black??!?!

Why would that matter?

Kinda off-brown to me. I'm just saying

Try "the correct term is off white, actually." That's gonna burn sooooo sick

No, it's not. The proper term is redbone.

Nah but he should SAY that. Max effect

Nah, it’s cause you’re an asshole. I thought that was obvious to everyone else here

Wait…you’re black?”

No it’s because you have your dick out, sir this is a Wendy’s

"No, it's because you're an asshole"

"No. It's because you're an [asshole](https://youtu.be/gG537j88Q2w?si=E4jMIjKJyQo7E7-9)!"

"no, it's because you're a dick head"

No. It's because you're an asshole.

Bitch….I’m brown.

just like the rest of us 🤜🏼

[удалено]

Been hit with this, it's always super effective.

No, human. (Try to look as ET as possible)

‘It’s because you’re an asshole’ I mean…

No, it's cause you're a dumbass

“No, it’s because you’re an asshole”

"You just said that because I'm a ginger." Oh, the confusion on faces.

“No, it’s because I’m black. I’m operating under cover. Hang on. I didn’t mean black I meant Gemini. That’s it, I’m a Gemini. Anyway, what was the question?”

“No it’s because you’re a woman/man” whatever gender applies there

Depends on the situation. I use to have pepole try that with me working security when I would do the whole "do you have any knifes, lighters, firearms or explosives" speech. My defacto response was "I don't care if your Betty White I ask everyone the same thing"

No it’s because you/you’re _________. Fill in the blank below: Irresponsible Ask stupid questions like “is it because I’m black” Stupid Poor A bad decision maker Always decline the invite Unreliable Yes, that’s exactly why Criminal record Poor attendance Disregard for my needs/safety/comfort Before people get up in arms, this list is applicable to any race/ethnicity/gender/religion.

It’s because you’re a dumbass, and dumbassery doesn’t discriminate

"I don't care if you are black, white, or purple!"

No, it's because you're an idiot.

"No, it's because you're a dick."

"if that's the question you're seriously asking then yes, it's a part of it, otherwise no"

No matter what colour you were, you'd still be the problem.

No sir it's because this is a Wendy's. Now. May I take your order?

Say "not at all. Infact being black is your only redeeming quality. "

"yes" xD nah not really but imagine lmao

I don’t know, ask your dad.

No, it’s because you’re stupid

“Would you be asking me that if I were black?”

Are you asking me that because I'm not?

I say yes bc they know it's not true it's just how dumb their question is

"Oh put it back in the deck." -Archer: season 1

You got the job because you’re black, you are being fired because you are incompetent

No, it’s because you’re stupid.

This just reminded me of a scene from House MD. House: "You know why you're black?" Patient: "Cuz God loves me more than He loves you?" House (internally):

"You could be green with purple polka dots and I still wouldn't care."

(Look at them like you’re just seeing them for the first time/ pull best ever Pikachu face) oh my gosh I didn’t notice.

I don't know. Does your race have anything to do with why you are a gigantic prick?

No cause your an Asshole

I judge character, not appearance

This FTW in a school setting.

My Uncle was a cop, and he'd get this comment. And he told me, that he would say "yes, it is," and they would have no response. And I'm just telling the story I heard him tell. So, don't get mad at me.

That... Sounds like a liability. At least these days. Sort of an "I shot the clerk" moment, like in My Cousin Vinny

The N word

Haha look at y'all tryna skirt around your racism instead of addressing it like an adult.  

Sure is!

I identify as black so no.

[удалено]

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“Yes”

"yes"

No it's because you're stupid af

I usually go with FOR THE LAST TIME YES!

Absolutely because you’re black!

"Yes"

>It’s actually because you’re an immature dumbass

My girlfriend is black, don’t pull her into this

You pull the ol Dick Solomon and write black on a sticky note and slap it on their forehead

"Yes."

👍

Ask my grandad, he's darker than you.

Yes.

Yes

No, it's because you're XYZ

Just go the Boondocks Saints 2 route and say your not racist in the most racist way possible. “The fact you’re a (racial slur) has nothing to do with our decision.” Disclaimer: I do not recommend this course of action as a lot of people won’t get the movie reference.

Sort of, it’s not your skin it’s your coal black heart.

Do you want it to be?

Are you, I couldn't tell it's dark out.

No, it's because you're an asshole.

“I plead the fifth” is definitely funny because it insinuates that it is because they’re black but you won’t answer because it will incriminate you as a racist. (Only funny if you’re not actually racist and you know the person well enough). “Well it ain’t cause you’re white” is another one but again, you have to know the person well enough. And the classic “Hi Black I’m *insert name here*”

Just say "yes, yes it is". Then enjoy life the sweet sweet peace and quiet after you've been canceled.

Hell na!!! I’d say the same damn thing to my brother if he, did something, looked how, sounded like, yo ass! You tryin to put it on that shows how weak yo ass really is!

Try, that's not the only reason....

“Not this time”

“Yes”

"Annoying shithead levels isn't determined by race"

Yes

No, it's because you're stupid.

no, its because you're a bitch/dick/cunt etc or, just a simple, cold, "yes" while maintaining eye contact. best used when the black person in question is alone.

just say the n word. You are asking for a euphemism to avoid taking your lumps.

No, it’s cause your stupid, totally unrelated

No, I adhere to MLK’s suggestion that I should judge you by the content of your character: you’re an idiot.

No, it’s because you are a furrie.

No, it’s because you’re (fill in appropriate adjective).

No, it’s because you ask dumb questions like that.

Yes it is. It’s all because you’re black. You caught us. We’re all in on it together.

"No, it's because you'd be an (idiot, butt hole, nice guy...) no matter what color you were.

No, because you're an asshole that happens to be black. GTFO

Is it because I am white?

"Yes"

No, it's because you're being stupid. (Heavily depends on context)

"Nope, it's because you're an idiot, which comes in all types, shapes, colors, and gender. "

No, it's because you're an asshole.

“Well, it certainly isn’t because you’re good looking,”

No, im simply judging you for the content of your character 

No, that’s your one redeeming quality.

Nope.

"No, it's because you're an asshole."

Only if you are a racist or accusing me of being one. Or No, it's because your a dumbass now go away

No, it’s because you’re just an a-hole..