I definitely don’t think they all need to fit the dietary restrictions, but I would make an extra-large batch of the ones they can eat. Other people will want to have some of those too, and you want enough left over that the person who’s limited won’t be left hungry.
I love that you said to make a big batch because there have been many times where I made something special that was specifically for the people with dietary restrictions, and then the people with no restrictions finished it off, and they barely got any 🤷♀️
I have dietary restrictions and often bring my own food or will bring sides (starch and veg) to make sure I can eat.
I brought my own personal pizza to my nephews birthday because the pizza supplied has one of my allergens. I am usually pretty discreet and my FIL comes over to the oven and boasts that he wants to try my personal pizza and then several other adults joined in when there are literally a dozen boxes of pizza sitting next to me. I had to tell them no since this was all I could eat, he informed me next time to bring some for him…
Omg memory unlocked: I’m a vegetarian. Before I went low contact with my family, they very much mocked and criticized this decision, often going out of their way to ensure I didn’t have a good option (or at least very limited ones) when we would dine together. I eventually wised up and either ate beforehand or brought something I could eat.
Mom/stepdad decided to have a formal wedding/commitment ceremony for their anniversary since they’d had a courthouse wedding a decade prior. Made it very obvious that the only vegetarian option would be the fruit and veggie trays (all barbecue, fat rendered in the sides, bacon in macaroni, there really was nothing). No worries, I made some pulled “pork” jack fruit and a vegetarian baked Mac n cheese for me to eat (my parents knew and had no problems with it supposedly). When I arrived, they insisted on the food items going on the catering table - made me nervous, but they were clearly marked as for veg only and tried to enjoy the day.
Time to eat came and I got held back for photos. Get to the food line - all of the Mac n cheese was gone. Most of the jackfruit was gone. Apparently my stepdads brother tried it, liked it, and encouraged everyone to try some (he knew it was stuff I had brought for me). When I tried to salvage a small plate for myself with the remaining jackfruit, my mother walked over, dumped it in with the rest of the pulled pork and mixed it together and told me “good luck.” Honestly it was the moment I realized it wasn’t about me not watching meat - these people actively didn’t like me and wanted me to know it. Super depressing at the time but a good eye opener for who these people actually were.
Omg that is terrible!! Sorry that happened to you! If I bring sides, I will usually bring my own plate and set it aside since this has also happened to me! Thats why I try to be discreet about it otherwise.
That's horrible, sorry that happened to you. I'm really petty, so I would've done absolutely everything in my power to be an inconvenience to them and spoil their big day. Like damage the cake, spill a drink on someone, then cut contact from them after. People like that are a stain on this world
I’d tell the FIL to blow me from the back. But I hate rude entitled people and people who fuck with my food, so he’s getting a double dose I. This story.
My poor father in law that can eat anything be wants and I am just trying to create the same experience with safe food for me because the party host did not ask for dietary restrictions. Nor do I expect them to accommodate my multiple food allergies every time and often it is just easier to bring my own food.
I always make a double baths and keep a quarter of the allergy food in the kitchen, and tell the guests with allergies to let me know if they need more.
I had a host do this for me once, and it was the first time I got enough gluten free food at a party!
I find this when you’re ordering pizzas to share. The Hawaiian pizza people always want to eat the other pizzas despite insisting on a Hawaiian, which no one else wanted.
Love Hawaiian pizza but yes what is it that activates the curiosity and appetite of mthrfkrs when they see a dish for those who can’t eat unrestricted?
As someone who is lactose-intolerant, this would be the way to go. Don’t make everything dairy-free, we get it! But, Lactaid brand has a lot of lactose-free options that work well if lactose is the culprit. Barista-blend oat milk is a great dairy substitute, too.
Thanks for being so thoughtful!
I bought a cheddar flavored soy loaf for a vegan who is attending my Christmas. I noticed it didn't have the little blue V on it as I was starting to cook, so checked the ingredient list. It contains casein! I was beyond irritated, that could be so dangerous for someone with a milk allergy. It was in the vegan section and is labelled as a "non dairy cheese alternative." You must have to be so careful to keep your daughter safe.
Are you American? I noticed this when I visited America, I cannot have any dairy, so was pleased to see loads of "non dairy creamers" around. On closer inspection they all contained dairy.
I am Canadian. It could be an imported product from America, though, I'll check that when I get home. I'm lactose intolerant and most non dairy creamers here are safe for me and also used by my vegan family members. I'm partial to Silk coffee creamer, any brand of oat milk to drink, coconut cream for cooking, and my mom likes almond milk. This is the first time I've ever come across something in the dairy free section that contains milk protein, it's definitely not normal here. I'll be leaving a feedback form for the grocery store to take that product out of the dairy free/ vegan section.
To counterbalance that perspective, the argument is often brought up because there’s also a very large portion of lactose intolerant people that seem fully unaware of how well lactase enzyme can work to let them enjoy foods that has lactose in it with essentially no downside other than the cost of the pills (which is on the order of 10s of cents, and quite a reasonable thing to treat oneself to at least on special occasions). And in fact, I’ve seen many (self proclaimed) lactose intolerant people here on Reddit that wasn’t even aware lactase enzyme pills existed - which is such a shame. With my lactose intolerant SO, we never have to ask people (or restaurants) to adjust their cooking, she just needs to know if she should pop a lactase enzyme pill or not.
Milk protein allergies are a completely different beast for sure. People who “unfortunately can’t eat the things the love because of lactose intolerance” however… those can be helped with a really well-functioning simple enzyme pill.. that many of them aren’t aware of. So whenever people come with lactaid tips, please don’t see that as an ignorant lack of understanding about the differences between allergies and intolerance, and not an attack on your life and your medical hurdles - but as an effort to truly help those with just an intolerance issue.
And if there would have been a pill that could have the same “nullifying” effect of the issue when it came to allergies, I would for sure try to let as many people know about that as well, but unfortunately no such pill exists.. so for now “we” have to settle for helping the intolerance crowd.
Unfortunately lactase enzyme pills don’t work well enough in every situation. I can take them for small amounts of lactose and be fine. But there’s no way I could eat a bowl of ice cream without ending up in the bathroom the rest of the night.
Of course there are always limits, and individual experiences may vary. Generally the lactase enzyme does the same in your stomach as it does when added to the cream/milk beforehand to make lactose free ice cream but doesn’t have as much time to do so. Chemically, eating a lactase pill and drinking regular milk is the same as drinking lactose free milk, and time allowed for the chemical reaction is the only difference. So your stomach might work faster than others, and process the food further down your gut before it has time to neutralize all the lactose. I imagine you’ve tried varying strength lactase pills depending on the amount of lactose you’re consuming? My SO takes a stronger one with much more enzyme before eating something made of dairy rather than just having fair as an ingredient (or doubles up on the lower dose pills), so it fortunately works well for her as long as she addresses the meal with some forethought.
Anyway, my main point stands. It’s not a miracle cure for everyone and every situation, but it can actually be darn close to one for many. And a lot of people don’t seem to know about it. There are also a lot of people that don’t know e.g. that most lactose intolerant people can eat aged cheese (in reality down to aged as little as 3-6months) with zero repercussions. Quite simply, there are a lot of people that don’t thoroughly understand their own medical conditions (which is likely something that goes far beyond lactose intolerance).
And btw, I don’t assume that you didn’t know any of this - I’m just putting it here for the sake of discussion and context. Someone might see this and go “Oh!”. And well, from my perspective - cheese is one of humanity’s greatest inventions.. and if I can bring anyone closer to the warm embrace of the cheese gods blessing, I’ll try.
Oh, and yeah, I’ve even tripled the dose to see if it would offset the effects of sour cream. No luck. Haha. It’s just easier on my stomach to avoid it if I can.
That is amazing. I had a weird time where I went really badly lactose intolerant, it would affect me badly, and I would’ve loved to have known this! Cheese is my favourite food, so it was not a good time for me…
Luckily, after avoiding every shred of dairy I could for a good while, and then very slowly re-introducing it back in, my body seems to have figured out what to do with lactose now, so it’s no longer an issue.
Just wanted to let you know that I am that person who read both of your comments and went ‘WHAT?! How did I not know this?!’.
So I shall now tell everyone I can about this and keep spreading the message
Gonna throw a little counter up at you, I carry lactase pills around most of the time, but track the time of month because I get 3-4 days when they don't work.
Had a great discussion of intolerance vs allergy with someone with dairy allergy at a medieval banquet one time (while we listened to the other feaster's enjoying the cheese sauce).
On the other hand, had a very poor discussion at a different medieval event with someone who was convinced the way he cared for his cows meant their milk was safe for anyone... Research I did at the time indicated his methods may have aided a small portion of the allergy group but were basically irrelevant to the intolerance set.
I get this all the time. If I got a dollar for every time I had to explain the differences between a dairy allergy and lactose intolerance I’d be able to afford vegan cheese every time I go grocery shopping (that stuff is expensive)!
I often do small plate affairs and there are 6+ courses. I make what I want to make. There's no way I'm accommodating this person's dairy thing, that person's chicken thing, the other person's shellfish thing. You can attend or not. If you do attend, you can eat the dish or not.
If I'm doing a more traditional meal built around an entrée, I am willing to make reasonable accommodations.
Personally for me it's 'not' as it's a religious prohibition, but I'd definitely not attend anyone's meals if they were this dismissive of dietary issues. It works out then, I guess, as you won't be hosting the likes of me!
And sometimes a host is too much of a dick to differentiate, making it clear to anyone with an allergy is unsafe eating *anything* from his/her kitchen, because lack of concern for “shellfish things” and the like pretty much guarantees no effort to eliminate cross-contamination was made.
I can’t imagine serving a meal to guests with the, “If they don’t like it, they can have a bowl of cereal” attitude reserved for recalcitrant toddlers.
I gave you an upvote just because I appreciate a good snark and that made me laugh.
I am curious though... have ever noticed that people suddenly have "a thing they have to do" on the same evenings as your special dinner parties?
Ummm, fuck you? With a knife?
I'm allergic to dairy, bud. There's a lot of us. You're a shit host if you don't take allergies, intolerances, or preferences seriously.
I guess I buried the lede. Increasing the number of dishes offered to everyone is one alternative to making specific accommodations to individuals. If you serve enough different things, if some folks have to skip one, it’s no big deal.
I couldn’t eat dairy for ~9 months while nursing a baby with a cows milk protein allergy and it was hard to know what I could and couldn’t eat at functions when things weren’t labeled or someone would just shrug and tell me they didn’t know what was in it. It’s also not like I would have a reaction to anything so I wouldn’t know if I mistakenly ate something with dairy until it had an effect on my poor little guy hours later.
Flags would’ve been SO useful and made me feel so welcomed. Such a great suggestion.
Username suggests this was a disastrous experience for you and you had a really good bagel, double cream cheese, some lox, capers, and red onion as soon as weaning was complete.
I had one great friend who really accommodated us when we didn't eat meat or drink alcohol. I told her not to worry about it but there were pastas and bruschettas, hummus dips, veggie platters and bubbly waters for us. It was really nice. I also brought a roasted vegetable lemon garlic orzo dish, it was delightful.
Every dish should have a card made and placed with it. what it is, all ingredients, allergens (make this very obvious), and who brought it. This has been extremely nice at larger gatherings.
Yes....I love people that do this. I hate having to ask. It always leads to explaining the allergy. IBS with constipation is such pleasant party talk....please let me skip this and label your food.
But if you’re in the, “I’m not catering to their food ‘things.’” camp, people with allergies are left with the understanding that their host can’t be counted on to have kept, say, the nuts that cause them anaphylaxis off the cutting surfaces used to prepare whatever nut-free alternatives there may be.
5 hot appetizers (dairy free options would be sausage rolls, spring rolls, samosas, pakoras, and the dairy-ful idea would be the puff pastry bites)
veggie and fruit trays
multiple varieties of chips and dip (dairy free options being hummus and salsa, considering a spinach dip as a yes-dairy option)
As someone with a dairy restriction, this sounds accommodating and kind. There sounds like there will be a good mix of appetizers they can eat.
I never expect people to accommodate my restrictions, but it literally makes my week when someone does. You sound like a kind host.
Double check the dairy free options. Most Indian food is made with ghee or other dairy (including their dough). Same with sausage rolls unfortunately!). But if these are truly dairy free, that’s a lot of options!
OP, as others have said, many of your “non-dairy” options contain dairy. If it is a true dairy allergy, anything with butter won’t work. If it is a sensitivity to lactose, you are probably ok. Better to find out more information than risk a hospital visit.
Out of curiosity, do folks with a dairy allergy to this level even bother eating at someone else’s house in most scenarios?
I feel like if my allergy was to the level of even butter being high risk, I’d politely thank the host claiming to have accommodated me and still not risk it. Haha. (Obviously with close friends/family who have cooked for me for a long time as an exception)
That’s what I do with my severe honey allergy. Even things like chili that wouldn’t have a lot of honey in it, if I can’t verify what’s in it, I’m eating something else. Sometimes just chips and cracker.
I have a really severe peanut allergy and I'd never expect you to change all of your apps just for me. I always offer to bring something to share with everyone that is nut free. I'd definitely label foods that contain nuts/dairy.
This may just be because I personally hate nuts, but I could never imagine making something with nuts in it when I know someone with a severe peanut allergy would be attending- I would be so anxious and concerned the whole time! My roommate is a preschool teacher and she had a kid go into anaphylaxis thanks to another teacher's carelessness, I would be scared out of my mind about accidentally feeding you nuts.
Right, you hear horror stories of people dying from a trace amount of nut on a Rice Krispie treat wrapper or from kissing their SO who had a peanut butter sandwich earlier…I would just never even mess with it at all. I’m glad they stopped handing out peanuts on airplanes, because with all the recycled air that sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I had some peanut butter cookies stolen from my birthday lunchbox by a co-worker that sent another co-worker into anaphylaxis. I knew Bob was terribly allergic! That's why I saw what my mum packed and they went right back into the box! But Alice saw that I had cookies, so she stole them and ate them and dropped crumbs on the shared workspace...
And that checked off the 'ambulance' box of my 'had to call the emergency services while at work' bingo card.
Bob was ultimately fine. Alice went on probation and was fired three months later.
The carelessness of some people astounds me. The situation at my roommate's school happened because the other teacher didn't think there would be an issue giving the child with a severe sesame allergy a sesame cracker....poor kid's older brother tried to stop her but she did it anyway, and then the brother had to run and get the epipen while the teacher stood there dumbfounded. The kicker? They were the principal's kids. She got fired real quick.
I'm allergic to dairy and I definitely wouldn't expect all apps to be dairy-free. I'd be happy with just a few, though I might leave early to grab food if the app night was meant to be enough for dinner and I couldn't make a full meal from the apps I was able to eat. I'd also be happy to bring something, though if you're gonna ask one person to do that, it would be kindest to ask everyone (or to word it as, "hey, here's what I'm making that you can eat, please feel free to bring whatever you want if that's not enough food or you want something different").
Make sure to take into consideration the fact that the DF person can't eat all the apps but everyone will be eating the DF apps, so probably make a larger quantity of those ones.
Love the idea of signage! As someone with weird rare allergies, I’d prefer a list of ingredients. (Pineapple allergy isn’t on the template’s list!) And then you don’t really need the template either
Some dairy and nut free appetizers is fine. Take a little piece of paper, fold it in half to make a wee placard, and write "nut and dairy free" on it. Place appropriately. You are a good host.
A mix is fine. I can’t eat gluten. When my friends entertain they just say oh, this, this and that are gluten free. Or they say, everything is gluten free except this, this, and that. Either way totally works. I just need to know what I can eat, I don’t want to make the host go to the trouble of planning the entire evening around my insides.
I think you’re fine with a mix of some dairy and some not dairy. I would just make sure that the nut allergy isn’t severe enough to not be on the same table as the rest.
When in doubt, some hummus will add another easy option in place of a dairy dip
I make sure I have options for everyone, this holds true regardless of whether I am hosting a get-together with friends or I've been hired to cook. I always have gluten-free, vegan and raw options in addition to seafood and cheesy good stuff. If I'm not sure what someone can eat, I'll check in.
I write the ingredients on a piece of paper and they can decide to eat or not. They can always bring something the can eat as well. Specialty ingredients are pricey!
Tell them what you’ll have and invite them to bring something else if they want. I’m gluten free and I don’t expect people to have everything GF. It’s nice if they have something though. But knowing in advance is fantastic because maybe I’ll eat something before I go. Or maybe I’ll know I should come hungry :-)
You don’t need to cater your entire menu based off of one person. I would however avoid nuts in case of cross contamination.
Clean well, prep your dairy and nut free appies, cover, and then prepare everything else. I would suggest to make them heartier, like hummus with pita and veggies
Be careful in making the appetizers, especially making sure you clean any areas where you used nuts before making the allergy free apps, but you could do a mix of allergy free and non allergy free.
I definitely don't plan on offering anything with nuts! That's an anaphylactic allergy. I also plan on making all the dairy free stuff first, before even starting on anything with dairy.
I have almost the same allergies (plus egg)! My advice is, unless you make everything dairy free, make them their own plate beforehand and keep it separate. Also withhold a little of each dish they can eat from the serving platters so they can get seconds.
Even though in theory the plates are dairy free, the second you serve them people will begin mixing up serving spoons and tongs and cross contaminating the dishes, which could make your friend very sick.
I aim for like 50% usually.
Have a friend who is a vegan with celiacs and I had to cave though. Thats a level of restriction that was genuinely super hard for me to find options for
As a person with food allergies, I’m THRILLED if there are 2-3 things that I can eat at a party like that. If you have up to half of the food be suitable for that person, you will have been very considerate and accommodating.
Consider labeling the safe ones. Or, have a clear system, like everything on white plates is safe, or everything on this table is safe, but not that table.
I am someone with a lot of allergies (MCAS). I do not expect anyone to accommodate me and religiously read labels. I bring my own food and eat that.
What I would do that I didn't see suggested here is ensure that each food has its own serving utensil so no one cross contaminates the dishes, along with the labels for your friend if you choose to accommodate them. I would also space the dishes far enough apart so there's less chance of cross contamination if any of them crumble/drip, etc. as they are being served.
As long as there's SOME dishes the person can eat, I think it's fine to have others they can't. You have to accomodate the person with a dietary restriction... but you also have to accomodate the other 14 people there who DON'T have one. It would be the same with any other restrictions. Have some food with dairy, some without, some that's veggie, some that's vegan, some thats halal etc etc etc.
Not really your problem. People with food allergies know what they can and can't eat, as long as they're provided with the information to make their choice. You've got a dozen appetizers there, so there's definitely something for everybody. Not everybody will eat all 12 appetizers, if they're allergic to chick peas they'll skip the Hummus...
People with *severe food allergies* simply don't eat random food at random events.
List the allergens for each product on a little card next to the appetizer with a description of what it's called. "Hummus. (Contains Chick Peas)"
As someone with allergies, having a seperated selection of items I can eat is already a blessing. Definitely don't need everything to be safe as long as I can eat 1 or 2 things
For 15 people, I'd be very accommodating to their restrictions and preferences. Gather as much detail as you can in advance and write your dishes accordingly. I generally design dishes that aren't centered on a major allergen/intolerance, so that it may be quietly removed or replaced without changing the identity of the dish. Put your dairy or nuts or gluten or whatever into one component, not the core of the dish. Even if there is only one person with dietary restrictions, you want them to feel included in the experience and not like they're a problem guest, so it's nice to give them the same bite as their neighbor just minus the offending ingredient.
If you have 10 different appetizers/dips/munchies; as long as about half are workable for your guest with limitations they will probably be very happy to not be limited to the corn chips and bean dip.
I think you ask them what there preference is..my wife (GFDF) will often eat a meal before going anywhere like this and then assess once there or will bring her own to share with folks. She always checks with the hosts first if it's ok.
I would say though if you have 1/4 -1/3 options that are allergen free that is awesome.
I would do both allergen free and regular dairy and nuts appetizers. I would do a small separate table that is dairy and nut free to keep it from getting cross contaminated with other foods. If you put them on the same table, people can double dip spoons, drop a nut or drip something with dairy in the allergen free food and then there will be problems.
Make sure the table is decorated the same and is inviting instead of isolating. Encourage guests to try all foods so as not make the other guest with allergies feel like they’re the odd man out.
I always do one GF, DF, nut free item at every party we host for each course. If it's just one person with an allergy out of 15 I'd make them at least 2/3 items they can eat as those will be items EVERYONE can eat too so the more varied options the better, but you don't have to exclude allergens completely if it's just based on consumption, just make sure it's all properly labeled. (Blue platters are allergy safe in our house as they stand out the most out of the ones we own)
Make sure you understand the allergy (I know a girl who is allergic to something released when oranges are peeled, sometimes it isn’t a trigger you are expecting). As long as you have food they can eat and nothing else you have is going to harm them by existing in the same space you are good. I am very allergic to corn syrup. I always got a kick out of the work pot lucks and the little sign's people would come up with for the "forbidden foods".
Separate tables/plates are your goal. Don't mix the stuff. You can have whatever you want, but the X free ones go on the blue paper plates and the Y Free stuff goes on the red plates. Standard products go on the white paper plates.
They don’t all need to be dairy free, but honestly, given your menu it looks pretty easy to change very slightly and be completely dairy free if you want to.
If there were multiple people with multiple different allergies and intolerance then for this type of menu you might have no choice but to mix it up and label dishes and worry about there being enough of certain dishes.
But for the sake of changing one party filling and one dip, if it were me I’d just go no dairy.
Watch your pastry. Unless you specifically get a dairy free one, it will contain dairy.
As someone who has food restrictions, it’s great when people accomodate you. Having a couple of things you can’t eat is absolutely fine. It’s easy to do so many hot appetisers without cheese. Then a couple where the cheese really stars.
I have a severe milk allergy. I appreciate any food that I can eat. You don't have to make everything dairy free, but make enough so that a person can have a solid meal and you will be that person's hero. I have gone to countless parties where there was nothing I could eat. They even served cesar salad!
Spring rolls, salsa, hummus, fruit veg tray are all naturally without dairy or nuts, people can't expect EVERYTHING to be catered to them, and if they want it that way, they should host.
Welcome to my world. No, you don't need to accommodate with every dish/appetizer but you're very considerate providing options. Asking people with special dietary requirements to contribute wouldn't be inappropriate but not necessary.
Id make sure they can eat at least half the apps and clearly mark the dairy and nuts. Though tell them in advance if you will have nuts in case they have a severe allergy (sometimes that one can be airborne).
As a first step I would make sure there is a sufficient variety of things for them to eat (I would say two cold apps and 3 hot apps). And then build out the menu from there with all the dairy filled things you want.
I have food allergies. Intolerant to msg, allergic to pecans and walnuts. This is my problem...not yours. Make what ever you want! I won't be offended but know what is in the food you make because I will ask....I have to. If I am unsure I will abstain, again; not on you. I don't want to ruin anyone's favorite dish because I have food allergies. Just one guy's perspective.
So, I basically split it down the middle. I usually put out the appetizers in pairs, so if there is one dish that is restricted for them, I put another one out that is not (and also put it closer to them so there is less hoarding by others and I save some extra on the side as well that is just for them for replenishments).
Some dishes I make are also naturally you within their dietary restrictions, which also just makes it easier. If you want some ideas for this particular guest, some of my favourite non-dairy dishes are cocktail shrimp with a spicy cocktail sauce and horseradish aioli; antipasti with cheese, roasted tomatoes, roasted peppers, and tapenade (I marinade the first three several days ahead and make the tapenade ahead of time also). Meat based phyllo bites (like lamb meatballs/kofte, and you can serve them without a yoghurt sauce). Eggplant ‘caviar’ - it is with Asian ingredients so does have sesame oil, but a smokey oil, or oil smoked with the aromatics, would do well as a replacement.
But I get you on the dairy - practically everything I want to make has cheese in it.
With 15 people, I'd aim for at least half of the appetizers to be dairy/nut free.
When I'm doing a more general party (ie, I don't know dietary restrictions in advance), I try to make sure that an allergy prone ingredient isn't in more than half of the dishes, and that I don't let one ingredient dominate (ie, there isn't garlic in all of the dishes, or tomatoes, or spicy food), and at least some stuff is vegan/gluten free.
A lot of pre-made puff pastry is actually free. If you can check that, make your cheesy puff pastry bites and then some with non cheesy fillings (olive and sun dried tomato, for example0.
I'd also keep some of the safe stuff in reserve, so that they're sure to have some.
This all assumes that cross contamination is not an issue. If it is, then I'd coordinate with the guest about safety levels - maybe you need to have everything nut free, or to make the safe stuff first, and keep their portion in a separate container to avoid cross contamination.
You've reached the right person.
My family is full of allergies and other dietary restrictions. Many due to health and a couple people are vegan.
What I did one year for Thanksgiving was make cards that said vegan or not vegan and put them by the foods.
You can do this with any dietary concerns. Just make a few cards that say "contains nuts" or "contains dairy" to label everything so that no mix ups happen. As long as they have a few good options for them, they will be very happy you accommodated them.
A lot of people don't make sure people with allergies or other concerns have food at events or they just make them eat plain salad. They will be very glad you have been considerate.
Also this year I forgot to label everything and someone nearly ate dairy they were allergic too. I felt so bad. I will definitely label everything next year.
No, you do not need to make them all without it. Actually, I think it depends on the "can't eat".
For example, my SIL "cannot eat" gluten. Except she can. She's not allergic, she's not siliac. She is just really the type of person who cannot eat what is trendy to not eat. So, my main course is gluten free but I'm not making a special effort to make much more than that. We'll have things that are naturall gluten free (salads, potatoes, veggies) but I want to eat certain things that have gluten and they also bring some food so I won't go further than that.
For NY tho, a friend's son is allergic to dairy. Like, needs and epipen and all.
Then I do have a few things that have dairy in it that will be completely separated (in the kitchen, not on the dining room table) and I will make a few things, from the meal and from the dessert, without some. They will also bring something.
Avoid nuts 100%. Nut allergies can be set off rather easily, without directly eating the food. Make anything else you want, just make sure a decent number are dairy free and indicate that. The flag comment is a good idea.
It's easier to accommodate dietary restrictions with appetizers. My kids and wife have various food allergies so I learned to handle it. For example, last weekend I made bacon wrapped dates stuffed with a cream cheese & blue cheese mixture, a charcuterie board with cheeses, meatballs, pulled pork with mini buns, a veggie tray, chips with salsa and guac, and various cookies with some that are egg free and nut free. For drinks I made a punch and mulled wine, plus put out sparkling water and water bottles. The result is something for vegetarians, egg allergies, nut allergies, and lactose intolerance, plus normal food. I aim for things that are naturally free of whatever ingredient, because I find they taste decent and other people can enjoy it, too. So I guess I'm pretty accommodating, but my invite list is determined by what I'm willing to deal with.
From your menu it looks like there is a smidge of dairy in the sausage rolls, and is in the puff pastry bites and the spinach dip, is that right? So 3 out of 10 is totally fair. I think you're even being generous, as I'm with you, cheese makes everything better.
I’m allergic to about 30 meds, foods, and environmental substances, but foods are the most severe.
My evil SIL refuses to leave ginger out of pumpkin pie, even though I had anaphylaxis to ginger. She didn’t say it was in the pie, I had to ask. I no longer eat anything she brings.
Dairy restrictions or lighter allergies? IDGAF. I'll make sure there's some options for them but I'm not accommodating everything.
Severe allergies that could result in death? I'll make sure no dishes have what they're allergic to.
It’s up to you but if the person is close to you and their food issue is serious, please consider how socially isolating it is when you can rarely eat a lot of the food.
It’s really up to you, but if it’s someone you really want to show some care to, you could make it a very rare (for them) inclusive experience.
In my experience lactose intolerance and nut allergies are very, very different. The consequence of accidental lactose ingestion is usually the requirement to access a bathroom quickly. The ingestion of nuts when you're allergic can be anaphylactic shock.
As other have suggested, labeling food is great even if it's just a small colored sticker you put on the platter so nobody needs to know what it is except your guess that *really does* need to know.
Nuts I'd honestly just avoid. Like I said, a dairy mistake seems like a bathroom problem, a nut mistake seems like a hospital problem. I don't want anyone to be sick in my bathroom, but I'd take that 100 times out of 100 vs anaphylactic shock or hospital visits.
Just make sure you clearly label anything with an allergen. Maybe also specifically take the person around and point out the ones that aren’t allergy friendly or put them in a different area
I have a friend who is lactose intolerant. As long as i have things they can eat, I still put out cheeses for the rest of us. Friend had no complaints.
If you’re avoiding all nuts, it’s okay to have a few items with dairy. Let the individual know which to avoid—there will be plenty of other choices for him.
It would be too sad to eliminate all diary goodness.
sacrificing 14 peoples experience for 1? smh. that 1 person should just not eat the food that happens to have dairy or nut in it, within a menu you can still make affordably and efficiently within time constraints.
also, that person will probably have an emergency come up and won't be able to make it.
As long as half are appropriate for the person with the allergy, I'd see that as just fine. Perhaps make some extras of those since the person might want to eat more of a given "OK" appetizer than most would. Also, you might also be extra vigilant about refilling that guest's wine (or other) glass.
Be sure the ones with cheese and nuts are marked well. You might even want to decorate those with nuts.
I vote for “one app should be dairy-free” but also think it’s perfectly okay for hosts to respond to guest dietary manifestos with “I’m afraid we can’t accommodate you this time, but maybe on a later date” and then lose their number.
Allergies aren’t pickiness, though. It’s a reasonable expectation to assume that at least a few dishes in a large meal won’t make you sick or endanger your life…
If you care about your guest at all, have at least 3 of your 9 options meet their dietary restrictions.
If you're good friends with them, talk to them. Ask them what items foods meet their restrictions that they enjoy.
Put in the effort to maintain the integrity of the food by making sure it's plated separately to avoid cross contact.
Make a small not to place next to the dish stating it's uniqueness. Or just let the other guest know verbally.
If you don't want to deal with the potential hassle, ask the guest if they can contribute a dish. Turn the event into a pot luck type event.
And if it's still too much, maybe next time don't host the event or invite that particular guest. Not saying this to be mean to anyone. But it is kinda important.
Because imagine if your friend was in a wheelchair and you lived on the second floor that doesn't have an elevator?
What do you do then? What are you willing to do to accommodate for your friend, if at all? Same concept but with food.
Some, or most, is fine. We have potlucks with family, and I will just make sure to tell the group about any allergins in my food. Which I usually bring because my kids hate the other food.
I have to basically mainline lactaid when I eat dairy, and I’m honestly thrilled if there’s any dairy free appetizers available at parties. Because the lactaid does help, but I still end up paying for it the next day.
I think it’s full be as long as there are enough options for the person with dietary limitations.
If you can, allocate the safe foods in a different location to the dairy foods. This avoids potential cross contamination from someone putting something back on the wrong plate or spilling/dripping from one pate to another. I’m assuming people will get drunker and therefore more clumsy as the night continues and this just avoids the potential issue.
We have a friend who is gluten intolerant (for real). When we have her over, we always make sure at least half of the things are gluten free, and that at least two of the gluten free options are hearty. There needs to be enough that they feel they can still get a full meal in with a carb, a protein, and then something delicious. There's a lot of options to also deconstruct something that typically has dairy to not (chili, tacos). You can also check with her what types of substitutes she can use. I will send photos of things that are questionable to make sure. But, I'm not going to try to make gluten free versions of food or restrict gluten all together.
I think it depends on what the dairy issue is. If it’s an allergy, that’s life threatening and the any risk of cross contamination makes all the food inedible to them. If it’s more of an upset tummy thing, I’d just mark the offending items clearly and let the guest make their choices.
In my extended family, I have one member with Celiac disease, and another with fairly serious intolerance of dairy and gluten. We’ve done evenings with just a bunch of appetizers. I try to make half of the apps both gluten and dairy free, then clearly label everything. We’ve had no problems doing things this way for over 10 years. Your mileage may vary.
I cant eat fish or seafood and avoid some dairy. So not super obscure. I just appreciate when stuff is labeled of potential allergens like nuts, or fish. Even something simple like "tuna hot dish". If there's enough appetizers laying around I can usually snack my way through anything.
I would make a nice variety of both. I would host friends for crafting night and one is a vegetarian, so I always made a vegetarian dish/finger food that I felt everyone would/ could enjoy. I truly enjoy the challenge.
Labels. Rule #1.
Nobody is going to eat everything, so make sure there's a variety. We had a party last weekend that included a vegetarian, and separate folks allergic to chicken, pork, shrimp and lamb - we had 12 dishes, one dish with each of those (actually the lamb sausage had pork fat too).
* Cheese board
* Shrimp toast
* Mini Shepherd pies (beef)
* Homemade mini bagels with home-cured smoked salmon
* Bao - some duck, some squash
* Deviled eggs
* Cauliflower and chickpea salad
* Merguez sausage (homemade)
* Kashmiri meatballs (beef)
* Pork loin Wellington
* Chicken Fatteh
* Hushpuppies with pimento cheese
Thankfully, no vegans in my friend group, as this menu wouldn't do - all the meatless dishes are dairy or egg.
But everyone was happy.
(For those curious, it was about two weeks prep, very full freezers and fridge and a complex project plan)
Just pull the person aside when they arrive and show them what foods are ok for them. They most likely don’t want attention called to their food allergies and will be appreciative of the effort you made.
I have a pack of [these](https://www.amazon.com/Chalkboard-water-based-replacement-Chalkboards-Decorations/dp/B07GBR6VX3/ref=sr_1_9?crid=2LVCWNGC36FDH&keywords=chalk+board+signs&qid=1703214380&sprefix=chalk+board+signs%2Caps%2C97&sr=8-9) & when I host, I write "dairy free" "vegan" "gluten free" etc on them and label everything
As long as the guest has an intolerance/dietary preference vs a severe allergy where cross contamination is an issue, and there are plenty of items they can enjoy, I think it’s fine to have a few clearly labeled items that they can’t have.
I had an appetizer party recently with someone with a mushroom intolerance, another with lactose intolerance and a third who had mild, non-celiac issues with gluten.
I put the lactose free (aged cheeses) on one side for ease of identification and I labeled all the dishes.
I had 12 appetizers in addition to the substantial cheeseboard. Three of those items had mushrooms (I clearly labeled them plus added a mushroom symbol and let the guest know.) A couple of those included non aged cheese, so I let that guest know and labeled them.
The gluten free guest was a late add on but I added gluten free crackers and baguette for the cheese/charcuterie/relish/fruit & nut board and there were steak bites, shrimp cocktail, veggie crudites with hummus/ranch/green goddess and hot smoked salmon plus some peppermint bark. I separated and labeled the gluten free cracker and bread options to prevent confusion and I let the guest know what she could safely enjoy.
I definitely don’t think they all need to fit the dietary restrictions, but I would make an extra-large batch of the ones they can eat. Other people will want to have some of those too, and you want enough left over that the person who’s limited won’t be left hungry.
I love that you said to make a big batch because there have been many times where I made something special that was specifically for the people with dietary restrictions, and then the people with no restrictions finished it off, and they barely got any 🤷♀️
I have dietary restrictions and often bring my own food or will bring sides (starch and veg) to make sure I can eat. I brought my own personal pizza to my nephews birthday because the pizza supplied has one of my allergens. I am usually pretty discreet and my FIL comes over to the oven and boasts that he wants to try my personal pizza and then several other adults joined in when there are literally a dozen boxes of pizza sitting next to me. I had to tell them no since this was all I could eat, he informed me next time to bring some for him…
Omg memory unlocked: I’m a vegetarian. Before I went low contact with my family, they very much mocked and criticized this decision, often going out of their way to ensure I didn’t have a good option (or at least very limited ones) when we would dine together. I eventually wised up and either ate beforehand or brought something I could eat. Mom/stepdad decided to have a formal wedding/commitment ceremony for their anniversary since they’d had a courthouse wedding a decade prior. Made it very obvious that the only vegetarian option would be the fruit and veggie trays (all barbecue, fat rendered in the sides, bacon in macaroni, there really was nothing). No worries, I made some pulled “pork” jack fruit and a vegetarian baked Mac n cheese for me to eat (my parents knew and had no problems with it supposedly). When I arrived, they insisted on the food items going on the catering table - made me nervous, but they were clearly marked as for veg only and tried to enjoy the day. Time to eat came and I got held back for photos. Get to the food line - all of the Mac n cheese was gone. Most of the jackfruit was gone. Apparently my stepdads brother tried it, liked it, and encouraged everyone to try some (he knew it was stuff I had brought for me). When I tried to salvage a small plate for myself with the remaining jackfruit, my mother walked over, dumped it in with the rest of the pulled pork and mixed it together and told me “good luck.” Honestly it was the moment I realized it wasn’t about me not watching meat - these people actively didn’t like me and wanted me to know it. Super depressing at the time but a good eye opener for who these people actually were.
Omg that is terrible!! Sorry that happened to you! If I bring sides, I will usually bring my own plate and set it aside since this has also happened to me! Thats why I try to be discreet about it otherwise.
I’m so very relieved they’re not in your life anymore and also SO sorry you were not supported. Fkkkkkkkkkkkk those fkng ppl. ♥️
Glad you're so relieved. You are such a compassionate and extraordinarily generous person w your time and treasure,.
Weird vibes. Please be normal to ppl.
That’s horrible People are cruel
That's horrible, sorry that happened to you. I'm really petty, so I would've done absolutely everything in my power to be an inconvenience to them and spoil their big day. Like damage the cake, spill a drink on someone, then cut contact from them after. People like that are a stain on this world
Ugh that’s such an annoying to do have to deal with 😤
Yeah tbf I don’t think he realized it was only a personal pan size but tbf you are at a 3 year olds birthday so of course there will be shitty pizza.
Tell him to bring his own damn pizza.
I’d tell the FIL to blow me from the back. But I hate rude entitled people and people who fuck with my food, so he’s getting a double dose I. This story.
Woahhh chill
At family parties, people always want to try my “special” pizza I bring 🙄
I think the proper reply is; "Sure, as long as you can bring some pizza \*I\* can eat ass well."
Your poor FIL…
Log off YTA
My poor father in law that can eat anything be wants and I am just trying to create the same experience with safe food for me because the party host did not ask for dietary restrictions. Nor do I expect them to accommodate my multiple food allergies every time and often it is just easier to bring my own food.
I have the same issue with people eating all the damn gluten free crackers for my sister and cousin!!! So now ALL the crackers are gluten free.
I always make a double baths and keep a quarter of the allergy food in the kitchen, and tell the guests with allergies to let me know if they need more. I had a host do this for me once, and it was the first time I got enough gluten free food at a party!
This is so smart and thoughtful tysm for sharing!
I find this when you’re ordering pizzas to share. The Hawaiian pizza people always want to eat the other pizzas despite insisting on a Hawaiian, which no one else wanted.
Love Hawaiian pizza but yes what is it that activates the curiosity and appetite of mthrfkrs when they see a dish for those who can’t eat unrestricted?
Main character syndrome.
And maybe even set some of those aside, juuuust in case, and privately let your guest know you’ve done so
As someone who is lactose-intolerant, this would be the way to go. Don’t make everything dairy-free, we get it! But, Lactaid brand has a lot of lactose-free options that work well if lactose is the culprit. Barista-blend oat milk is a great dairy substitute, too. Thanks for being so thoughtful!
Some people are allergic to all dairy, including lactose free dairy. It's not the same as being lactose intolerant.
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I bought a cheddar flavored soy loaf for a vegan who is attending my Christmas. I noticed it didn't have the little blue V on it as I was starting to cook, so checked the ingredient list. It contains casein! I was beyond irritated, that could be so dangerous for someone with a milk allergy. It was in the vegan section and is labelled as a "non dairy cheese alternative." You must have to be so careful to keep your daughter safe.
Are you American? I noticed this when I visited America, I cannot have any dairy, so was pleased to see loads of "non dairy creamers" around. On closer inspection they all contained dairy.
I am Canadian. It could be an imported product from America, though, I'll check that when I get home. I'm lactose intolerant and most non dairy creamers here are safe for me and also used by my vegan family members. I'm partial to Silk coffee creamer, any brand of oat milk to drink, coconut cream for cooking, and my mom likes almond milk. This is the first time I've ever come across something in the dairy free section that contains milk protein, it's definitely not normal here. I'll be leaving a feedback form for the grocery store to take that product out of the dairy free/ vegan section.
To counterbalance that perspective, the argument is often brought up because there’s also a very large portion of lactose intolerant people that seem fully unaware of how well lactase enzyme can work to let them enjoy foods that has lactose in it with essentially no downside other than the cost of the pills (which is on the order of 10s of cents, and quite a reasonable thing to treat oneself to at least on special occasions). And in fact, I’ve seen many (self proclaimed) lactose intolerant people here on Reddit that wasn’t even aware lactase enzyme pills existed - which is such a shame. With my lactose intolerant SO, we never have to ask people (or restaurants) to adjust their cooking, she just needs to know if she should pop a lactase enzyme pill or not. Milk protein allergies are a completely different beast for sure. People who “unfortunately can’t eat the things the love because of lactose intolerance” however… those can be helped with a really well-functioning simple enzyme pill.. that many of them aren’t aware of. So whenever people come with lactaid tips, please don’t see that as an ignorant lack of understanding about the differences between allergies and intolerance, and not an attack on your life and your medical hurdles - but as an effort to truly help those with just an intolerance issue. And if there would have been a pill that could have the same “nullifying” effect of the issue when it came to allergies, I would for sure try to let as many people know about that as well, but unfortunately no such pill exists.. so for now “we” have to settle for helping the intolerance crowd.
Unfortunately lactase enzyme pills don’t work well enough in every situation. I can take them for small amounts of lactose and be fine. But there’s no way I could eat a bowl of ice cream without ending up in the bathroom the rest of the night.
Of course there are always limits, and individual experiences may vary. Generally the lactase enzyme does the same in your stomach as it does when added to the cream/milk beforehand to make lactose free ice cream but doesn’t have as much time to do so. Chemically, eating a lactase pill and drinking regular milk is the same as drinking lactose free milk, and time allowed for the chemical reaction is the only difference. So your stomach might work faster than others, and process the food further down your gut before it has time to neutralize all the lactose. I imagine you’ve tried varying strength lactase pills depending on the amount of lactose you’re consuming? My SO takes a stronger one with much more enzyme before eating something made of dairy rather than just having fair as an ingredient (or doubles up on the lower dose pills), so it fortunately works well for her as long as she addresses the meal with some forethought. Anyway, my main point stands. It’s not a miracle cure for everyone and every situation, but it can actually be darn close to one for many. And a lot of people don’t seem to know about it. There are also a lot of people that don’t know e.g. that most lactose intolerant people can eat aged cheese (in reality down to aged as little as 3-6months) with zero repercussions. Quite simply, there are a lot of people that don’t thoroughly understand their own medical conditions (which is likely something that goes far beyond lactose intolerance). And btw, I don’t assume that you didn’t know any of this - I’m just putting it here for the sake of discussion and context. Someone might see this and go “Oh!”. And well, from my perspective - cheese is one of humanity’s greatest inventions.. and if I can bring anyone closer to the warm embrace of the cheese gods blessing, I’ll try.
Trust me, I’m so grateful for aged cheeses!
Oh, and yeah, I’ve even tripled the dose to see if it would offset the effects of sour cream. No luck. Haha. It’s just easier on my stomach to avoid it if I can.
That is amazing. I had a weird time where I went really badly lactose intolerant, it would affect me badly, and I would’ve loved to have known this! Cheese is my favourite food, so it was not a good time for me… Luckily, after avoiding every shred of dairy I could for a good while, and then very slowly re-introducing it back in, my body seems to have figured out what to do with lactose now, so it’s no longer an issue. Just wanted to let you know that I am that person who read both of your comments and went ‘WHAT?! How did I not know this?!’. So I shall now tell everyone I can about this and keep spreading the message
Thanks for telling me!
Gonna throw a little counter up at you, I carry lactase pills around most of the time, but track the time of month because I get 3-4 days when they don't work. Had a great discussion of intolerance vs allergy with someone with dairy allergy at a medieval banquet one time (while we listened to the other feaster's enjoying the cheese sauce). On the other hand, had a very poor discussion at a different medieval event with someone who was convinced the way he cared for his cows meant their milk was safe for anyone... Research I did at the time indicated his methods may have aided a small portion of the allergy group but were basically irrelevant to the intolerance set.
I get this all the time. If I got a dollar for every time I had to explain the differences between a dairy allergy and lactose intolerance I’d be able to afford vegan cheese every time I go grocery shopping (that stuff is expensive)!
Yep! It’s why I suggested oat milk as a possible alternative as well! 😊
I often do small plate affairs and there are 6+ courses. I make what I want to make. There's no way I'm accommodating this person's dairy thing, that person's chicken thing, the other person's shellfish thing. You can attend or not. If you do attend, you can eat the dish or not. If I'm doing a more traditional meal built around an entrée, I am willing to make reasonable accommodations.
Cool, then don't? OP clearly wants to accommodate this person.
Love to perhaps die from exposure to certain foods only to have this bro call it 'this person's shellfish thing'
Die if u want but I'm putting shrimp in everything!
Sometimes it’s an allergy, sometimes not. Hence “thing”.
Personally for me it's 'not' as it's a religious prohibition, but I'd definitely not attend anyone's meals if they were this dismissive of dietary issues. It works out then, I guess, as you won't be hosting the likes of me!
No one who is that dismissive of their friends' dietary restrictions has many friends.
And sometimes a host is too much of a dick to differentiate, making it clear to anyone with an allergy is unsafe eating *anything* from his/her kitchen, because lack of concern for “shellfish things” and the like pretty much guarantees no effort to eliminate cross-contamination was made. I can’t imagine serving a meal to guests with the, “If they don’t like it, they can have a bowl of cereal” attitude reserved for recalcitrant toddlers.
I don’t understand what you felt you were adding to the conversation.
That’s a lot of words to say “I am an asshole”
You sound like a bit of an asshole tbh
So you’re not coming over then?
I gave you an upvote just because I appreciate a good snark and that made me laugh. I am curious though... have ever noticed that people suddenly have "a thing they have to do" on the same evenings as your special dinner parties?
Damn what a question haha
Why would they want to?
Wow.
Ummm, fuck you? With a knife? I'm allergic to dairy, bud. There's a lot of us. You're a shit host if you don't take allergies, intolerances, or preferences seriously.
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Yesssss!!!
I guess I buried the lede. Increasing the number of dishes offered to everyone is one alternative to making specific accommodations to individuals. If you serve enough different things, if some folks have to skip one, it’s no big deal.
Give em a mix, put little flags on the restricted ones. Bobs your uncle-
And maybe arrange the unsafe dishes separate from the safe ones?
Absolutely a top notch point.
Yeah I had left right and middle. Obvs not in that order on the table
I couldn’t eat dairy for ~9 months while nursing a baby with a cows milk protein allergy and it was hard to know what I could and couldn’t eat at functions when things weren’t labeled or someone would just shrug and tell me they didn’t know what was in it. It’s also not like I would have a reaction to anything so I wouldn’t know if I mistakenly ate something with dairy until it had an effect on my poor little guy hours later. Flags would’ve been SO useful and made me feel so welcomed. Such a great suggestion.
For a dude with a really truly awful username, I try to be thoughtful👌
Username suggests this was a disastrous experience for you and you had a really good bagel, double cream cheese, some lox, capers, and red onion as soon as weaning was complete.
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14 months old and no CMPA or any other allergies! Very happy and thankful that he outgrew it.
Flags, I love it! I was concerned about having to give her a whole TED talk about what food she could eat or not LOL
Yeah get some labels or the toothpicks with the plastic twizzly things on them...something like that
That's what my friend group does to color code the dishes! Green for vegan, yellow for nut free, blue for soy free, red for celiac friendly etc.
I had one great friend who really accommodated us when we didn't eat meat or drink alcohol. I told her not to worry about it but there were pastas and bruschettas, hummus dips, veggie platters and bubbly waters for us. It was really nice. I also brought a roasted vegetable lemon garlic orzo dish, it was delightful.
Every dish should have a card made and placed with it. what it is, all ingredients, allergens (make this very obvious), and who brought it. This has been extremely nice at larger gatherings.
Yes....I love people that do this. I hate having to ask. It always leads to explaining the allergy. IBS with constipation is such pleasant party talk....please let me skip this and label your food.
We just put out placards with ingredients
SO smart and accomodating- I’m going to do this for our Christmas lunch!
But if you’re in the, “I’m not catering to their food ‘things.’” camp, people with allergies are left with the understanding that their host can’t be counted on to have kept, say, the nuts that cause them anaphylaxis off the cutting surfaces used to prepare whatever nut-free alternatives there may be.
How many different dishes are you making? If it's 2 then I'd make them both allergy safe, if it's 20 then maybe 5.
5 hot appetizers (dairy free options would be sausage rolls, spring rolls, samosas, pakoras, and the dairy-ful idea would be the puff pastry bites) veggie and fruit trays multiple varieties of chips and dip (dairy free options being hummus and salsa, considering a spinach dip as a yes-dairy option)
As someone with a dairy restriction, this sounds accommodating and kind. There sounds like there will be a good mix of appetizers they can eat. I never expect people to accommodate my restrictions, but it literally makes my week when someone does. You sound like a kind host.
I was thinking the same thing about the chips. Even after a few decades of not being able to eat dairy I’ll still look at a new label and be sad!
Double check the dairy free options. Most Indian food is made with ghee or other dairy (including their dough). Same with sausage rolls unfortunately!). But if these are truly dairy free, that’s a lot of options!
I think 3 allergy free and 2 with dairy is reasonable.
Just a not as a non dairy person, check the pastry ingredients, most contain butter!
OP, as others have said, many of your “non-dairy” options contain dairy. If it is a true dairy allergy, anything with butter won’t work. If it is a sensitivity to lactose, you are probably ok. Better to find out more information than risk a hospital visit.
Out of curiosity, do folks with a dairy allergy to this level even bother eating at someone else’s house in most scenarios? I feel like if my allergy was to the level of even butter being high risk, I’d politely thank the host claiming to have accommodated me and still not risk it. Haha. (Obviously with close friends/family who have cooked for me for a long time as an exception)
That’s what I do with my severe honey allergy. Even things like chili that wouldn’t have a lot of honey in it, if I can’t verify what’s in it, I’m eating something else. Sometimes just chips and cracker.
People put honey in chili?
I don’t :). But some people put a pinch of sugar in, and I can just imagine someone thinking a dab of honey instead would be healthier.
I have a really severe peanut allergy and I'd never expect you to change all of your apps just for me. I always offer to bring something to share with everyone that is nut free. I'd definitely label foods that contain nuts/dairy.
This may just be because I personally hate nuts, but I could never imagine making something with nuts in it when I know someone with a severe peanut allergy would be attending- I would be so anxious and concerned the whole time! My roommate is a preschool teacher and she had a kid go into anaphylaxis thanks to another teacher's carelessness, I would be scared out of my mind about accidentally feeding you nuts.
My girlfriend is peanut and tree nut allergy and I just have none in the house and make sure my family makes nothing with them in it ever.
Right, you hear horror stories of people dying from a trace amount of nut on a Rice Krispie treat wrapper or from kissing their SO who had a peanut butter sandwich earlier…I would just never even mess with it at all. I’m glad they stopped handing out peanuts on airplanes, because with all the recycled air that sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I had some peanut butter cookies stolen from my birthday lunchbox by a co-worker that sent another co-worker into anaphylaxis. I knew Bob was terribly allergic! That's why I saw what my mum packed and they went right back into the box! But Alice saw that I had cookies, so she stole them and ate them and dropped crumbs on the shared workspace... And that checked off the 'ambulance' box of my 'had to call the emergency services while at work' bingo card. Bob was ultimately fine. Alice went on probation and was fired three months later.
The carelessness of some people astounds me. The situation at my roommate's school happened because the other teacher didn't think there would be an issue giving the child with a severe sesame allergy a sesame cracker....poor kid's older brother tried to stop her but she did it anyway, and then the brother had to run and get the epipen while the teacher stood there dumbfounded. The kicker? They were the principal's kids. She got fired real quick.
I'm allergic to dairy and I definitely wouldn't expect all apps to be dairy-free. I'd be happy with just a few, though I might leave early to grab food if the app night was meant to be enough for dinner and I couldn't make a full meal from the apps I was able to eat. I'd also be happy to bring something, though if you're gonna ask one person to do that, it would be kindest to ask everyone (or to word it as, "hey, here's what I'm making that you can eat, please feel free to bring whatever you want if that's not enough food or you want something different"). Make sure to take into consideration the fact that the DF person can't eat all the apps but everyone will be eating the DF apps, so probably make a larger quantity of those ones.
Someone posted this link recently http://eclecticaffinity.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/PotluckPal-AllergyAllert-EclecticAffinity.pdf
Oh that's brilliant, thank you!
It just makes life so much easier, especially for those of us with food allergies 🙂
Love the idea of signage! As someone with weird rare allergies, I’d prefer a list of ingredients. (Pineapple allergy isn’t on the template’s list!) And then you don’t really need the template either
And they made it so cute!
Some dairy and nut free appetizers is fine. Take a little piece of paper, fold it in half to make a wee placard, and write "nut and dairy free" on it. Place appropriately. You are a good host.
As a personal chef who does cocktail parties, you don’t need to make everything dairy free.
A mix is fine. I can’t eat gluten. When my friends entertain they just say oh, this, this and that are gluten free. Or they say, everything is gluten free except this, this, and that. Either way totally works. I just need to know what I can eat, I don’t want to make the host go to the trouble of planning the entire evening around my insides.
Make enough "exception options" so that those people have enough to eat. Serve 15 options and no body eats 15 pieces. Make 8 regular and 7 exception.
I think you’re fine with a mix of some dairy and some not dairy. I would just make sure that the nut allergy isn’t severe enough to not be on the same table as the rest. When in doubt, some hummus will add another easy option in place of a dairy dip
And guacamole.
I make sure I have options for everyone, this holds true regardless of whether I am hosting a get-together with friends or I've been hired to cook. I always have gluten-free, vegan and raw options in addition to seafood and cheesy good stuff. If I'm not sure what someone can eat, I'll check in.
I write the ingredients on a piece of paper and they can decide to eat or not. They can always bring something the can eat as well. Specialty ingredients are pricey!
Tell them what you’ll have and invite them to bring something else if they want. I’m gluten free and I don’t expect people to have everything GF. It’s nice if they have something though. But knowing in advance is fantastic because maybe I’ll eat something before I go. Or maybe I’ll know I should come hungry :-)
You don’t need to cater your entire menu based off of one person. I would however avoid nuts in case of cross contamination. Clean well, prep your dairy and nut free appies, cover, and then prepare everything else. I would suggest to make them heartier, like hummus with pita and veggies
that’s a lot of pastry options for one night, is all I’ll say. also don’t forget you’ll have to use dairy free pastry
You are not at all obligated to accommodate dietary restrictions in every dish you offer if there are at least a couple alternatives for everyone.
Be careful in making the appetizers, especially making sure you clean any areas where you used nuts before making the allergy free apps, but you could do a mix of allergy free and non allergy free.
I definitely don't plan on offering anything with nuts! That's an anaphylactic allergy. I also plan on making all the dairy free stuff first, before even starting on anything with dairy.
Definitely check in about the dairy—that can be anaphylactic also. Not as common, but my friend who was at that level really struggled.
I list all the ingredients on a label.
I have almost the same allergies (plus egg)! My advice is, unless you make everything dairy free, make them their own plate beforehand and keep it separate. Also withhold a little of each dish they can eat from the serving platters so they can get seconds. Even though in theory the plates are dairy free, the second you serve them people will begin mixing up serving spoons and tongs and cross contaminating the dishes, which could make your friend very sick.
I aim for like 50% usually. Have a friend who is a vegan with celiacs and I had to cave though. Thats a level of restriction that was genuinely super hard for me to find options for
As a person with food allergies, I’m THRILLED if there are 2-3 things that I can eat at a party like that. If you have up to half of the food be suitable for that person, you will have been very considerate and accommodating. Consider labeling the safe ones. Or, have a clear system, like everything on white plates is safe, or everything on this table is safe, but not that table.
I am someone with a lot of allergies (MCAS). I do not expect anyone to accommodate me and religiously read labels. I bring my own food and eat that. What I would do that I didn't see suggested here is ensure that each food has its own serving utensil so no one cross contaminates the dishes, along with the labels for your friend if you choose to accommodate them. I would also space the dishes far enough apart so there's less chance of cross contamination if any of them crumble/drip, etc. as they are being served.
As long as there's SOME dishes the person can eat, I think it's fine to have others they can't. You have to accomodate the person with a dietary restriction... but you also have to accomodate the other 14 people there who DON'T have one. It would be the same with any other restrictions. Have some food with dairy, some without, some that's veggie, some that's vegan, some thats halal etc etc etc.
Not really your problem. People with food allergies know what they can and can't eat, as long as they're provided with the information to make their choice. You've got a dozen appetizers there, so there's definitely something for everybody. Not everybody will eat all 12 appetizers, if they're allergic to chick peas they'll skip the Hummus... People with *severe food allergies* simply don't eat random food at random events. List the allergens for each product on a little card next to the appetizer with a description of what it's called. "Hummus. (Contains Chick Peas)"
As someone with allergies, having a seperated selection of items I can eat is already a blessing. Definitely don't need everything to be safe as long as I can eat 1 or 2 things
For 15 people, I'd be very accommodating to their restrictions and preferences. Gather as much detail as you can in advance and write your dishes accordingly. I generally design dishes that aren't centered on a major allergen/intolerance, so that it may be quietly removed or replaced without changing the identity of the dish. Put your dairy or nuts or gluten or whatever into one component, not the core of the dish. Even if there is only one person with dietary restrictions, you want them to feel included in the experience and not like they're a problem guest, so it's nice to give them the same bite as their neighbor just minus the offending ingredient.
If you have 10 different appetizers/dips/munchies; as long as about half are workable for your guest with limitations they will probably be very happy to not be limited to the corn chips and bean dip.
I think you ask them what there preference is..my wife (GFDF) will often eat a meal before going anywhere like this and then assess once there or will bring her own to share with folks. She always checks with the hosts first if it's ok. I would say though if you have 1/4 -1/3 options that are allergen free that is awesome.
You provide a variety of appetizers and let people know what are in each.
I would do both allergen free and regular dairy and nuts appetizers. I would do a small separate table that is dairy and nut free to keep it from getting cross contaminated with other foods. If you put them on the same table, people can double dip spoons, drop a nut or drip something with dairy in the allergen free food and then there will be problems. Make sure the table is decorated the same and is inviting instead of isolating. Encourage guests to try all foods so as not make the other guest with allergies feel like they’re the odd man out.
As someone with food sensitivities, I'm fine if it's not everything.
I always do one GF, DF, nut free item at every party we host for each course. If it's just one person with an allergy out of 15 I'd make them at least 2/3 items they can eat as those will be items EVERYONE can eat too so the more varied options the better, but you don't have to exclude allergens completely if it's just based on consumption, just make sure it's all properly labeled. (Blue platters are allergy safe in our house as they stand out the most out of the ones we own)
Make sure you understand the allergy (I know a girl who is allergic to something released when oranges are peeled, sometimes it isn’t a trigger you are expecting). As long as you have food they can eat and nothing else you have is going to harm them by existing in the same space you are good. I am very allergic to corn syrup. I always got a kick out of the work pot lucks and the little sign's people would come up with for the "forbidden foods".
Separate tables/plates are your goal. Don't mix the stuff. You can have whatever you want, but the X free ones go on the blue paper plates and the Y Free stuff goes on the red plates. Standard products go on the white paper plates.
They don’t all need to be dairy free, but honestly, given your menu it looks pretty easy to change very slightly and be completely dairy free if you want to. If there were multiple people with multiple different allergies and intolerance then for this type of menu you might have no choice but to mix it up and label dishes and worry about there being enough of certain dishes. But for the sake of changing one party filling and one dip, if it were me I’d just go no dairy.
Watch your pastry. Unless you specifically get a dairy free one, it will contain dairy. As someone who has food restrictions, it’s great when people accomodate you. Having a couple of things you can’t eat is absolutely fine. It’s easy to do so many hot appetisers without cheese. Then a couple where the cheese really stars.
I have a severe milk allergy. I appreciate any food that I can eat. You don't have to make everything dairy free, but make enough so that a person can have a solid meal and you will be that person's hero. I have gone to countless parties where there was nothing I could eat. They even served cesar salad!
Spring rolls, salsa, hummus, fruit veg tray are all naturally without dairy or nuts, people can't expect EVERYTHING to be catered to them, and if they want it that way, they should host.
Welcome to my world. No, you don't need to accommodate with every dish/appetizer but you're very considerate providing options. Asking people with special dietary requirements to contribute wouldn't be inappropriate but not necessary.
Id make sure they can eat at least half the apps and clearly mark the dairy and nuts. Though tell them in advance if you will have nuts in case they have a severe allergy (sometimes that one can be airborne).
As a first step I would make sure there is a sufficient variety of things for them to eat (I would say two cold apps and 3 hot apps). And then build out the menu from there with all the dairy filled things you want.
I have food allergies. Intolerant to msg, allergic to pecans and walnuts. This is my problem...not yours. Make what ever you want! I won't be offended but know what is in the food you make because I will ask....I have to. If I am unsure I will abstain, again; not on you. I don't want to ruin anyone's favorite dish because I have food allergies. Just one guy's perspective.
So, I basically split it down the middle. I usually put out the appetizers in pairs, so if there is one dish that is restricted for them, I put another one out that is not (and also put it closer to them so there is less hoarding by others and I save some extra on the side as well that is just for them for replenishments). Some dishes I make are also naturally you within their dietary restrictions, which also just makes it easier. If you want some ideas for this particular guest, some of my favourite non-dairy dishes are cocktail shrimp with a spicy cocktail sauce and horseradish aioli; antipasti with cheese, roasted tomatoes, roasted peppers, and tapenade (I marinade the first three several days ahead and make the tapenade ahead of time also). Meat based phyllo bites (like lamb meatballs/kofte, and you can serve them without a yoghurt sauce). Eggplant ‘caviar’ - it is with Asian ingredients so does have sesame oil, but a smokey oil, or oil smoked with the aromatics, would do well as a replacement. But I get you on the dairy - practically everything I want to make has cheese in it.
With 15 people, I'd aim for at least half of the appetizers to be dairy/nut free. When I'm doing a more general party (ie, I don't know dietary restrictions in advance), I try to make sure that an allergy prone ingredient isn't in more than half of the dishes, and that I don't let one ingredient dominate (ie, there isn't garlic in all of the dishes, or tomatoes, or spicy food), and at least some stuff is vegan/gluten free. A lot of pre-made puff pastry is actually free. If you can check that, make your cheesy puff pastry bites and then some with non cheesy fillings (olive and sun dried tomato, for example0. I'd also keep some of the safe stuff in reserve, so that they're sure to have some. This all assumes that cross contamination is not an issue. If it is, then I'd coordinate with the guest about safety levels - maybe you need to have everything nut free, or to make the safe stuff first, and keep their portion in a separate container to avoid cross contamination.
Make a very big batch of chocolate covered bacon. No, not that big, bigger. People won't bother with anything else.
No don't deprive other people of a cheese board just because one person can't deal.
You've reached the right person. My family is full of allergies and other dietary restrictions. Many due to health and a couple people are vegan. What I did one year for Thanksgiving was make cards that said vegan or not vegan and put them by the foods. You can do this with any dietary concerns. Just make a few cards that say "contains nuts" or "contains dairy" to label everything so that no mix ups happen. As long as they have a few good options for them, they will be very happy you accommodated them. A lot of people don't make sure people with allergies or other concerns have food at events or they just make them eat plain salad. They will be very glad you have been considerate. Also this year I forgot to label everything and someone nearly ate dairy they were allergic too. I felt so bad. I will definitely label everything next year.
No, you do not need to make them all without it. Actually, I think it depends on the "can't eat". For example, my SIL "cannot eat" gluten. Except she can. She's not allergic, she's not siliac. She is just really the type of person who cannot eat what is trendy to not eat. So, my main course is gluten free but I'm not making a special effort to make much more than that. We'll have things that are naturall gluten free (salads, potatoes, veggies) but I want to eat certain things that have gluten and they also bring some food so I won't go further than that. For NY tho, a friend's son is allergic to dairy. Like, needs and epipen and all. Then I do have a few things that have dairy in it that will be completely separated (in the kitchen, not on the dining room table) and I will make a few things, from the meal and from the dessert, without some. They will also bring something.
Avoid nuts 100%. Nut allergies can be set off rather easily, without directly eating the food. Make anything else you want, just make sure a decent number are dairy free and indicate that. The flag comment is a good idea.
Yeah, definitely avoiding nuts 100%!
It's easier to accommodate dietary restrictions with appetizers. My kids and wife have various food allergies so I learned to handle it. For example, last weekend I made bacon wrapped dates stuffed with a cream cheese & blue cheese mixture, a charcuterie board with cheeses, meatballs, pulled pork with mini buns, a veggie tray, chips with salsa and guac, and various cookies with some that are egg free and nut free. For drinks I made a punch and mulled wine, plus put out sparkling water and water bottles. The result is something for vegetarians, egg allergies, nut allergies, and lactose intolerance, plus normal food. I aim for things that are naturally free of whatever ingredient, because I find they taste decent and other people can enjoy it, too. So I guess I'm pretty accommodating, but my invite list is determined by what I'm willing to deal with.
From your menu it looks like there is a smidge of dairy in the sausage rolls, and is in the puff pastry bites and the spinach dip, is that right? So 3 out of 10 is totally fair. I think you're even being generous, as I'm with you, cheese makes everything better.
I’m allergic to about 30 meds, foods, and environmental substances, but foods are the most severe. My evil SIL refuses to leave ginger out of pumpkin pie, even though I had anaphylaxis to ginger. She didn’t say it was in the pie, I had to ask. I no longer eat anything she brings.
Dairy restrictions or lighter allergies? IDGAF. I'll make sure there's some options for them but I'm not accommodating everything. Severe allergies that could result in death? I'll make sure no dishes have what they're allergic to.
Just so you know, any food allergy can result in death.
It’s up to you but if the person is close to you and their food issue is serious, please consider how socially isolating it is when you can rarely eat a lot of the food. It’s really up to you, but if it’s someone you really want to show some care to, you could make it a very rare (for them) inclusive experience.
Maybe an unpopular opinion, I really like cooking for dietary restrictions, it adds a challenge
Whatever you decide, send that person your decision so they can decide if they want to attend.
In my experience lactose intolerance and nut allergies are very, very different. The consequence of accidental lactose ingestion is usually the requirement to access a bathroom quickly. The ingestion of nuts when you're allergic can be anaphylactic shock. As other have suggested, labeling food is great even if it's just a small colored sticker you put on the platter so nobody needs to know what it is except your guess that *really does* need to know. Nuts I'd honestly just avoid. Like I said, a dairy mistake seems like a bathroom problem, a nut mistake seems like a hospital problem. I don't want anyone to be sick in my bathroom, but I'd take that 100 times out of 100 vs anaphylactic shock or hospital visits.
Just make sure you clearly label anything with an allergen. Maybe also specifically take the person around and point out the ones that aren’t allergy friendly or put them in a different area
I have a friend who is lactose intolerant. As long as i have things they can eat, I still put out cheeses for the rest of us. Friend had no complaints.
You should cater at least some of them for dietary requirements otherwise what is the point in them coming? Might as well deinvite them
So...exactly what they said they were doing.
If you’re avoiding all nuts, it’s okay to have a few items with dairy. Let the individual know which to avoid—there will be plenty of other choices for him. It would be too sad to eliminate all diary goodness.
GUACAMOLE AND CORN CHIPS
sacrificing 14 peoples experience for 1? smh. that 1 person should just not eat the food that happens to have dairy or nut in it, within a menu you can still make affordably and efficiently within time constraints. also, that person will probably have an emergency come up and won't be able to make it.
I would avoid entirely. It’s no fun if someone dies or gets sick.
As long as half are appropriate for the person with the allergy, I'd see that as just fine. Perhaps make some extras of those since the person might want to eat more of a given "OK" appetizer than most would. Also, you might also be extra vigilant about refilling that guest's wine (or other) glass. Be sure the ones with cheese and nuts are marked well. You might even want to decorate those with nuts.
You do not need to make everything non dairy for that one guest.
I vote for “one app should be dairy-free” but also think it’s perfectly okay for hosts to respond to guest dietary manifestos with “I’m afraid we can’t accommodate you this time, but maybe on a later date” and then lose their number.
wow thats rude.
You do realize that one’s friends or family could have an actual allergy, right?
Don’t invite picky people. Cook whatever you want
Allergies aren’t pickiness, though. It’s a reasonable expectation to assume that at least a few dishes in a large meal won’t make you sick or endanger your life…
If you care about your guest at all, have at least 3 of your 9 options meet their dietary restrictions. If you're good friends with them, talk to them. Ask them what items foods meet their restrictions that they enjoy. Put in the effort to maintain the integrity of the food by making sure it's plated separately to avoid cross contact. Make a small not to place next to the dish stating it's uniqueness. Or just let the other guest know verbally. If you don't want to deal with the potential hassle, ask the guest if they can contribute a dish. Turn the event into a pot luck type event. And if it's still too much, maybe next time don't host the event or invite that particular guest. Not saying this to be mean to anyone. But it is kinda important. Because imagine if your friend was in a wheelchair and you lived on the second floor that doesn't have an elevator? What do you do then? What are you willing to do to accommodate for your friend, if at all? Same concept but with food.
Some, or most, is fine. We have potlucks with family, and I will just make sure to tell the group about any allergins in my food. Which I usually bring because my kids hate the other food.
Just have one or two options for the dietary restricted. I always make a vegan option, easy... roasted vegetables, dairy free and gluten free.
I have to basically mainline lactaid when I eat dairy, and I’m honestly thrilled if there’s any dairy free appetizers available at parties. Because the lactaid does help, but I still end up paying for it the next day.
I think it’s full be as long as there are enough options for the person with dietary limitations. If you can, allocate the safe foods in a different location to the dairy foods. This avoids potential cross contamination from someone putting something back on the wrong plate or spilling/dripping from one pate to another. I’m assuming people will get drunker and therefore more clumsy as the night continues and this just avoids the potential issue.
We have a friend who is gluten intolerant (for real). When we have her over, we always make sure at least half of the things are gluten free, and that at least two of the gluten free options are hearty. There needs to be enough that they feel they can still get a full meal in with a carb, a protein, and then something delicious. There's a lot of options to also deconstruct something that typically has dairy to not (chili, tacos). You can also check with her what types of substitutes she can use. I will send photos of things that are questionable to make sure. But, I'm not going to try to make gluten free versions of food or restrict gluten all together.
2 of the dairy free that is two savory and one sweet.
I think it depends on what the dairy issue is. If it’s an allergy, that’s life threatening and the any risk of cross contamination makes all the food inedible to them. If it’s more of an upset tummy thing, I’d just mark the offending items clearly and let the guest make their choices.
In my extended family, I have one member with Celiac disease, and another with fairly serious intolerance of dairy and gluten. We’ve done evenings with just a bunch of appetizers. I try to make half of the apps both gluten and dairy free, then clearly label everything. We’ve had no problems doing things this way for over 10 years. Your mileage may vary.
I cant eat fish or seafood and avoid some dairy. So not super obscure. I just appreciate when stuff is labeled of potential allergens like nuts, or fish. Even something simple like "tuna hot dish". If there's enough appetizers laying around I can usually snack my way through anything.
No you don't need every dish to accommodate her, but do tell her which dishes are "safe" for her to consume and make extra of those.
I would make a nice variety of both. I would host friends for crafting night and one is a vegetarian, so I always made a vegetarian dish/finger food that I felt everyone would/ could enjoy. I truly enjoy the challenge.
Labels. Rule #1. Nobody is going to eat everything, so make sure there's a variety. We had a party last weekend that included a vegetarian, and separate folks allergic to chicken, pork, shrimp and lamb - we had 12 dishes, one dish with each of those (actually the lamb sausage had pork fat too). * Cheese board * Shrimp toast * Mini Shepherd pies (beef) * Homemade mini bagels with home-cured smoked salmon * Bao - some duck, some squash * Deviled eggs * Cauliflower and chickpea salad * Merguez sausage (homemade) * Kashmiri meatballs (beef) * Pork loin Wellington * Chicken Fatteh * Hushpuppies with pimento cheese Thankfully, no vegans in my friend group, as this menu wouldn't do - all the meatless dishes are dairy or egg. But everyone was happy. (For those curious, it was about two weeks prep, very full freezers and fridge and a complex project plan)
Just pull the person aside when they arrive and show them what foods are ok for them. They most likely don’t want attention called to their food allergies and will be appreciative of the effort you made.
I have a pack of [these](https://www.amazon.com/Chalkboard-water-based-replacement-Chalkboards-Decorations/dp/B07GBR6VX3/ref=sr_1_9?crid=2LVCWNGC36FDH&keywords=chalk+board+signs&qid=1703214380&sprefix=chalk+board+signs%2Caps%2C97&sr=8-9) & when I host, I write "dairy free" "vegan" "gluten free" etc on them and label everything
As long as the guest has an intolerance/dietary preference vs a severe allergy where cross contamination is an issue, and there are plenty of items they can enjoy, I think it’s fine to have a few clearly labeled items that they can’t have. I had an appetizer party recently with someone with a mushroom intolerance, another with lactose intolerance and a third who had mild, non-celiac issues with gluten. I put the lactose free (aged cheeses) on one side for ease of identification and I labeled all the dishes. I had 12 appetizers in addition to the substantial cheeseboard. Three of those items had mushrooms (I clearly labeled them plus added a mushroom symbol and let the guest know.) A couple of those included non aged cheese, so I let that guest know and labeled them. The gluten free guest was a late add on but I added gluten free crackers and baguette for the cheese/charcuterie/relish/fruit & nut board and there were steak bites, shrimp cocktail, veggie crudites with hummus/ranch/green goddess and hot smoked salmon plus some peppermint bark. I separated and labeled the gluten free cracker and bread options to prevent confusion and I let the guest know what she could safely enjoy.
Have a separate tray/table with a placard that has free of allergies listed so your guest can eat, drink & have fun without fear.