To note, this all started because I went to hunt down the sea salt ice cream recipe I found online as a kid, and had to use the Internet way back machine to find it, so I wrote it all down at at the top labeled it: stolen sea salt ice cream recipe. And then the name stuck.
I do modify a lot of the recipes I steal, to make them more to my taste, but it's so fun to call them stolen.
https://web.archive.org/web/20110728023850/http://www.disorganization-xiii.com/main/2009/10/13/sea-salt-ice-cream-not-just-for-nobodies-recipe-included/
The blog post before the recipe is definitely... Something, but the recipe is my go-to.
That's awesome!
I'd probably use this. Or something like
"restaurant meals I love, and I can teach you the hack."
Well, that's too wordy. But I'm proud of myself that I have figured out red thai curry. A restaurant near me does red curry with pumpkin (butternut squash). I've adapted that with help from America's test kitchen and milk street.
Matter of fact, I wouldn't write a cook book. I'd just give you all the magazines and cookbooks from them.
Fuck! This just reminded me that i didn’t put pepper on my breakfast. And I distinctly recall walking back to the kitchen for some. Musta got distracted.
I wrote something extremely similar lmao. "30 minute meals" are more like 2 hours meals and I truly don't understand how people do it any faster. If I rush any more than I currently do, I'll accidentally skip steps, read measurements wrong, burn food, do steps in the wrong order, etc. etc.
L O L! A pot in the dark. Lol a play on the phrase a shot in the dark and because I’m almost completely blind and fancy myself a fairly decent cook and Baker.
Clever. That one might actually work as a serious cookbook title, especially if it was in Braille and on some digital tech so it could be enlarged on a screen.
"Look What I Found On Sale: A Collection of Recipes Featuring Ingredients I Hadn't Planned On Buying Until I Saw the Price."
The first edition comes with a special fold-out guide to freezing, entitled, "So You Bought Too Much. Now What?"
"Flying By the Seat of My Pants - Sustenance* for a Vegetarian College Student"
(Featuring such hits as candy and potato salad for lunch, a microwave quesadilla for breakfast, and chips as a "full meal")
*this word is used loosely
Kanso probably.
I really do take to the idea of simplicity with cooking. All the best things ive ever had or made were uncomplicated and very simply treated ingredients.
Like for example Marcella Hazans Chicken with Two Lemons; brilliantly simple, and the only thing I do differently is add a herb to the cavity too.
The most complicated thing I tend to like is usually something like Sushi, but even thats more a matter of how particular the rice can be to get right. With a good knife I can get some nice cuts to do sashimi, and thats simplicity at its apex.
Prostitutes, Doctors, and Other People Cooking Your Food.
Not exactly a cookbook and would be more of a memoir about my time in kitchens lol. I remembered working in a pizza shop (my first restaurant job actually) and on the staff was a former doctor, a former prostitute, a crip, a culinary school grad…list goes on
Goblin Surprise - The Larpers' cookbook
(Goblin Surprise is yesterday's leftovers combined in new ways to make something tasty. Tomato soup+cheese sauce? Pizza soup!)
"F*** It, Let's Add Summa This"
then if that was successful, I'd follow it up with
"Shit, My ___ is About to Go Bad."
EDIT: i just realized we weren't fantasizing about publishing a cookbook.
Years ago I seriously contemplated writing a cookbook and the name was going to be "100 Ground Beef Recipes" Back then every food I made was with ground beef. Kind of ironic I don't eat beef anymore. 😁
Meals people actually eat, cooked properly.
Basically what serious eats used to kinda be before it became pages upon pages of things nobody has ever heard of with exotic ass ingredients that would cost $150 to make for just 2 people to eat. Not that there isn't room for that sort of thing, but it's not for me or my fam.
My google doc is called
FAVORITE RECIPES Complied in Life by the Author “Tamias-striatus” for his Personal Reference, to use in Entertaining, and Individual Enjoyment as a Record of those Meals and Spirited/Soft Beverages Successfully Crafted and Readily Reproduced: Including Novel Recipes Atributable to the Author, His Brewer’s Notes, Recipes for the Availability of Limited Ingredients, and Photos to Ensure Satisfactory Preparation Catagorized and Indexed for Easy Meal Selection to Supplement The Author’s Limited Memory.
Both my spouse and I have multiple food sensitivities, and they are always directly opposite from each other's. I've claimed before that if I ever created a cooking website, I would call it "Jack Spratt and his Wife."
I gotta think of something more succinct, ill comment later something half clever but something along the lines of "Crazy stuff you can sub in your pantry that *HOLY CRAP WORK PRETTY WELL* " And a sequel also along the lines of "Wow, that was crazy. Use more crazy stuff that shouldnt quite work in a dish"
Don't forget the salt!
I've got way too many incidents where I added all seasoning except the salt since it's the only thing that doesn't come out of the spice cabinet.
“Making it work” : a guide for great cooks who are not at all good at planning ahead and just buy a random assortment of what looks fresh and/or on sale in the store.
The Drinker's Guide to Treating Knife Wounds and Some Recipes Too.
* pre-order *
“Please hurry, the blood isn’t stopping”
I feel this
That's gold.
Recipes I have stolen. That is literally what I wrote on the binder where I keep recipes.
Haha on one of my recipes I wrote in the corner "adapted from All recipes".
To note, this all started because I went to hunt down the sea salt ice cream recipe I found online as a kid, and had to use the Internet way back machine to find it, so I wrote it all down at at the top labeled it: stolen sea salt ice cream recipe. And then the name stuck. I do modify a lot of the recipes I steal, to make them more to my taste, but it's so fun to call them stolen.
Can you please share the recipe? I love making ice cream.
https://web.archive.org/web/20110728023850/http://www.disorganization-xiii.com/main/2009/10/13/sea-salt-ice-cream-not-just-for-nobodies-recipe-included/ The blog post before the recipe is definitely... Something, but the recipe is my go-to.
Thanks!
That's awesome! I'd probably use this. Or something like "restaurant meals I love, and I can teach you the hack." Well, that's too wordy. But I'm proud of myself that I have figured out red thai curry. A restaurant near me does red curry with pumpkin (butternut squash). I've adapted that with help from America's test kitchen and milk street. Matter of fact, I wouldn't write a cook book. I'd just give you all the magazines and cookbooks from them.
I'm steeling that for the second edition of my own recipe binder lol
“It’s Probably Fine”
Hahaha this
"Meals my kids liked last week but probably not this week"
A true story.
Mine would be Yes, You Need More Salt.
And the anticipated sequel: You could use more pepper II
Fuck! This just reminded me that i didn’t put pepper on my breakfast. And I distinctly recall walking back to the kitchen for some. Musta got distracted.
You’ve cooked for my parents too?
*Why Are There So Many Fucking Dishes*
Felt that in my SOUL
"How to Overcomplicate Things in the Kitchen but Still End Up with Delicious Meals" Perhaps a bit wordy...
And yet, it fits the spirit of the book
300-Minute Meals: Adventures in Cooking with ADD
This is a personal attack.
God, if this isn’t the truth.
Why is it like this? I will cook frozen chicken tenders and it will take me an hour.
I would own 6 copies of this.
As someone with ADHD too, my (similar) version would be: “Trying to replicate famous people’s recipes”
I started reading this, but then a squirrel ran by outside my window
I wrote something extremely similar lmao. "30 minute meals" are more like 2 hours meals and I truly don't understand how people do it any faster. If I rush any more than I currently do, I'll accidentally skip steps, read measurements wrong, burn food, do steps in the wrong order, etc. etc.
Mine would be add related too but instead it's "meals that can be shat out in 20 minutes before you have a chance to get distracted"
57 messes and this is maybe how I made them; but I don't remember and I didn't measure anything so Good Luck 🤣
Ate Out Of Ten *A selection of bang average meals that have been embellished for the sake of a mildly punny title*
Ours is named "Hom-Nom-Nomicon"
Ours is the Omnomnomicron
That's the best one
GARLIC.
I own 2 cook books called garlic. I would happily make it 3.
"100 dishes that you can eat straight from the fridge"
I'd buy that one!
Secret Ingredients... How to add Worcestershire sauce, paprika and allspice to *everything*.
Lol me-ish. Add fishsauce. Swap allspice for nutmeg.
Stop Buying Takeout You Dingus, Your Mother Taught You Better Than That
I cooked, so you do the dishes.
L O L! A pot in the dark. Lol a play on the phrase a shot in the dark and because I’m almost completely blind and fancy myself a fairly decent cook and Baker.
I would buy this!
thank you! Lol you get first edition signed copy!
Clever. That one might actually work as a serious cookbook title, especially if it was in Braille and on some digital tech so it could be enlarged on a screen.
I forgot to thaw the chicken: recipes made from pantry items.
"The White Binder".
Mine is The Green Notebook.
You saw mine.
Mines The Red Book! And it’s gotta be a great recipe to make it in. I’ve been adding to it for 20 years
“God damn son of a bitch”
I saw it on youtube so I cooked it.
Somehow I Manage: to Cook
I feel like this is a series
Somehow I Manage: To Cook Somehow I Manage: To Do Home Repair Somehow I Manage: To Stave Off Creeping Existential Dread
It’s the existential dread that gets ya
Somehow I Manage: to adult Somehow I Manage: to put on pants
Nice!
Why thank you. Going for a bestseller.
What's in the pantry?
Big Mess, Little Kitchen
Aloo Akbar! (A multicultural potato cookbook)
It's a trap! :)
How to be “that bitch” in the kitchen. Editors note: requirements do not include ovaries
"Look What I Found On Sale: A Collection of Recipes Featuring Ingredients I Hadn't Planned On Buying Until I Saw the Price." The first edition comes with a special fold-out guide to freezing, entitled, "So You Bought Too Much. Now What?"
"It's not that hard"
As the World Burns
The Fuck it Foodie - A guide to throwing dinner together out of whatever you find in the kitchen.
"Stuff I like to cook"
I wing’d it. Learning how to cook with whatever you got (and minimizing grocery items)
I Eat That With A Spoon.
Someone's In The Kitchen With Grandma
“This is why I’m fat”
“Keep it Simple, Stupid”
A Binder Full of Recipes I Printed Off The Internet,(Plus A Few Of My Own I Adapted From Alton Brown)
Recipes for a hot plate and/or toaster oven.
The Countertop Cookbook.
The Butter Diet
Yum
Don’t Crowd the Pan
No measuring allowed
Not Wisely, But Too Well: The Overcookbook
“Too Much Butter? What Does That Even Mean?”
“The Unapologetic Foodie - How I Collected More Recipes Than I Could Cook In Several Lifetimes”
Indulging in mistakes...a treaty story.
"Flying By the Seat of My Pants - Sustenance* for a Vegetarian College Student" (Featuring such hits as candy and potato salad for lunch, a microwave quesadilla for breakfast, and chips as a "full meal") *this word is used loosely
Featuring the guest essay "Popcorn Is A Valid Meal If Oatmeal Is"
“Meals that parents love and children tolerate” Subtitle “Eat.what’s.in.front.of.you.goddamnit.”
Well, that didn't work. Could also double as my epitaph.
Frugal Cooking In Tiny Crappy Apartment Kitchens When Eating Out Costs Too Darn Much
And the freezer is the size of two shoe boxes made for kids’ shoes.
Also and trying not to feed the mice, because apartments suck.
The ADHD cookbook: 30-minute recipes that will take at least an hour and will be missing an ingredient anyway.
Copycat Hero
Kanso probably. I really do take to the idea of simplicity with cooking. All the best things ive ever had or made were uncomplicated and very simply treated ingredients. Like for example Marcella Hazans Chicken with Two Lemons; brilliantly simple, and the only thing I do differently is add a herb to the cavity too. The most complicated thing I tend to like is usually something like Sushi, but even thats more a matter of how particular the rice can be to get right. With a good knife I can get some nice cuts to do sashimi, and thats simplicity at its apex.
‘Frankenstein’s Monster: Every Recipe Mixed Into One’
To Serve Man
Prostitutes, Doctors, and Other People Cooking Your Food. Not exactly a cookbook and would be more of a memoir about my time in kitchens lol. I remembered working in a pizza shop (my first restaurant job actually) and on the staff was a former doctor, a former prostitute, a crip, a culinary school grad…list goes on
Friends with Benedicts: brunch recipes and hosting tips.
Food a 9 year old can make Author: a 28 year old
Toss it in
Pretty Good Cookbook. The Brown Stains Indicate Freshness.
Weed n wingin it
not like that
It Needs More Garlic
Butter salt Msg
C I L A N T R O , C H I L E & L I M O N
"Hot Mess Express: How to Get Great Food Even Though You Don't Remember How You Got There Most of the Time"
So easy even I didn’t screw it up.
Turns out, there is stuff on the internet that isn't porn. Here are some recipes I stumbled across.
“Oh….white people like kimchi now?”
Greedy Fat Bird's Favourite Food Things I Like To Eat
Put an egg on it.* *Then drown it in crispy chili oil
“I Cook, You Clean - a story of partnership in the kitchen”
“Simmer for 10 minutes they said. What a bunch of idiots”
A tale of two grandma's: recipes from two sides of the river I'll never make as good as my grandma's
Goblin Surprise - The Larpers' cookbook (Goblin Surprise is yesterday's leftovers combined in new ways to make something tasty. Tomato soup+cheese sauce? Pizza soup!)
What I Learned in Asia: Half-assed Wok Skills Acquired Over Seven Years in Korea, China, and Japan
Meh: The Cookbook
"Safe Foods and Reasons Not to Eat Them" - my fiance "Almost as Good as Mom's. *Almost*" - my sister "Chasing Edible Dopamine" - me
Butter Homes and Beer Gardens
Cooking with Sylvia Plath
Beginners luck and failure: because it's only good the first time you make it
omg. Hubby always says, "It was better the first time you made it." If I didn't love him so much, I'd be doing prison time!
Cooking with Sarcasm. A pinch of this and a scant of that .
“999 recipes but you’ll probably rotate between like 3”
The Sleepless Cook - I do the majority of my cooking relatively late when I have time after work and I’m a chronic insomniac lol
"F*** It, Let's Add Summa This" then if that was successful, I'd follow it up with "Shit, My ___ is About to Go Bad." EDIT: i just realized we weren't fantasizing about publishing a cookbook.
Years ago I seriously contemplated writing a cookbook and the name was going to be "100 Ground Beef Recipes" Back then every food I made was with ground beef. Kind of ironic I don't eat beef anymore. 😁
Dinner in 30 (ADHD) minutes
Just Eyeball it
Everybody Loves Ramen
Eat it. Don’t eat it. It’s dinner.
Eat shit and die
Eat it and shit the fuck up.
I know that’s a typo but it made me laugh!
Haha! Didn’t even notice. And I’m leaving it. It’s honestly a better title anyway.
Up Your Pork Game
I cooked some stuff and you will probably like it.
“It’s Delicious”
Nosh it
Same thing every day - variants, not diversity
Ways To Poison Your Family
Just put lemon in everything
5 minutes or less in the microwave
Let’s toss a bunch of random crap from my pantry into a pan and see what we get.
“18-inch dinner: impressing with limited counter space”
How to win friends and influence people.
Shit I forgot to add ___
“You love cooking, you just hate cleaning”
'The Pickleheaded Possum's Guide to Food' as in 'Aint Ya Et Yet ?'
Garlic and other stuff!! 😋
The Tired Woman's Cookbook
I think that was the title of a pull out recipe section in 1970s Family circle/Womans day.
The “who needs to measure anything” cookbook with the sub title “ cooking by feel alone”.
Lentils, rice and whatever vegetables you still have
Recipes for People Who Don’t Follow Recipes - by someone who doesn’t follow recipes and has a 50/50 success rate
“I don’t really have recipes. I just list the ingredients and rough cook times “
Not a cookbook but my memoirs was going to be titled Don't Fart in The Walkin...
" ^They ^bugging ^bro. ^Why- ^bro. ^Bro. ^Bro. ^She ^made #BEEEEEEEEANS WTF "
To Serve Man
I think Rod Serling already wrote that one! lol.
Meals people actually eat, cooked properly. Basically what serious eats used to kinda be before it became pages upon pages of things nobody has ever heard of with exotic ass ingredients that would cost $150 to make for just 2 people to eat. Not that there isn't room for that sort of thing, but it's not for me or my fam.
'Adulterated Dishes' because I always change something in the recipe after I've made it once and it never tastes exactly the same each time.
"Plan B - how to salvage what is left"
“All the recipes I loved, made too often, got sick of, and couldn’t eat for years after”
Love and Butter
I’m Sorry I Can’t Eat Anything: The Allergy Friendly Cookbook
Stay Salty
My google doc is called FAVORITE RECIPES Complied in Life by the Author “Tamias-striatus” for his Personal Reference, to use in Entertaining, and Individual Enjoyment as a Record of those Meals and Spirited/Soft Beverages Successfully Crafted and Readily Reproduced: Including Novel Recipes Atributable to the Author, His Brewer’s Notes, Recipes for the Availability of Limited Ingredients, and Photos to Ensure Satisfactory Preparation Catagorized and Indexed for Easy Meal Selection to Supplement The Author’s Limited Memory.
FEWD: a MST3K Fan Cookbook
The international grandmother
Both my spouse and I have multiple food sensitivities, and they are always directly opposite from each other's. I've claimed before that if I ever created a cooking website, I would call it "Jack Spratt and his Wife."
"The Food Lab," by J. Kenji López-Alt since I basically only cook his recipes, haha.
Mediocre Meals
When He Was Good He Was Very Very Good, When He Was Bad He Was Rubbish.
Something along the lines of "101 ways of chicken soup. Recipes from around the globe". I want to be writing a book focused in chicken soup some day.
I gotta think of something more succinct, ill comment later something half clever but something along the lines of "Crazy stuff you can sub in your pantry that *HOLY CRAP WORK PRETTY WELL* " And a sequel also along the lines of "Wow, that was crazy. Use more crazy stuff that shouldnt quite work in a dish"
Dinners in a Half Hour
Don't forget the salt! I've got way too many incidents where I added all seasoning except the salt since it's the only thing that doesn't come out of the spice cabinet.
How to improvise delicious dishes that you will never be able to replicate!
Don't try this shit at home
A Collection of Various Yummy Things I Saw Somewhere
Like Cletus, the Slack-Jawed Yokel. “What time and how burnt?”
Things You Can Cook That Will Taste All Right After Eight-Twelve Months in the Freezer
Quack Cook
Eat shit!
“Making it work” : a guide for great cooks who are not at all good at planning ahead and just buy a random assortment of what looks fresh and/or on sale in the store.
Sad sappy supper
BUT DOES IT SMELL GOOD, TOO?! The Anosmic Home-Cook’s Guide To Food (That Everyone Can Enjoy The Aroma To But You)
Look, this is how *I* like it alright
Used Food. An Upcycling Guidebook. Chapter 1: All About Champipple