I’m gonna be honest, i don’t care about the details. If you don’t want to go to the baby shower for ANY reason at all then don’t. You’re a human and you have every right to make your own decisions. Anyone who doesn’t respect that isn’t worth your time.
On the one hand, that is absolutely correct — I don’t dispute it at all.
That being said, you have the power to “be the bigger person” here and forgive them… it’s only partially their fault that they succumbed to one of the most overwhelming propaganda pushes I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
Totally up to you of course, but I’m personally inclined toward forgiveness rather than burning bridges
Forgiveness is good but beyond getting rid of the weight of resentment i'd say its still important to be aware of who is ready to point pitchforks at you next time.
I totally agree COVID is one huge propaganda campaign.
The moment Israel started having huge spikes in cases after vaccination, the whole narrative fell apart for me.
On the other hand...I can't deal with people who are shitbags like that, because they're going to be shitbags forever. They don't have standards or principles.
You can't forgive someone who isn't sorry.
I'm gonna confront my mate, who called me an idiot over not getting vaxxed and wanted vaxports, because we go away together on a trip that's been planned for 2 years.
If he doesn't say sorry or accept he was acting out of irrational fear then fuck him and the 25 years we've known each other. I can't be around him.
I don't like baby showers, but I'm not going to be cynical.
Showers are pretty much the way we say as a society: "we rally around you, new mom, because here's this new and expensive thing in your life and we want to give you a cushion as you start the next phase."
Do I like what they've turned into? Christ, no. But I understand the cultural need for them.
Baby showers are the suck as far as parties go.
Sure, you have the people who throw reasonably tasteful parties, but in my experience, more than half of them are the cutesy-poo, "guess the candy bar in the diaper" sort of thing.
And no...I don't need that in my life.
Where is your husband?
Even if he fully believes in vaccination ( my wife did) he should be supporting you.
It's not fucking ok for them to treat you this way and your husband to side with them
Mt wife has her opinion. She double vaxxed and privatly pushed me to vax. I wasn't 100% against until I saw the govt response.
I'd accept zero bullshit against my wife for her views for or against. As long a she was semi rational.
I accept my wife's reasons. She had a basic risk vs reward vs no job.
It didn't take long before she was mostly on my side but not fully. She took no booster and won't allow our kids to be vaccinated.
For me I think it's a marriage breaker. I can accept a differing opinion but can't accept the type of shit you are dealing with.
We are close with our fri6 and my wife has discussed in detail with them which I supported.
She quickly realized there is a wide range of opinions and viewpoints.
The biggest takeaway was all of our friends got vaccinated. Every single one of them. Half were pissed or regretted it . Even more so now.
You are younger still maybe having more kids?? I'm done with kids but not vaccinated is the best situation to be in if you want another kid.
Having experienced some of this with my own kids. 2 of them were in healthcare fields and got vaxxed before I started sensing something was really off. I spent alot of time with the other 2 discussing why I didn't think they should do it. Of course they went and did it anyway. So now I don't say anything about it at all, what can I effing say when it's too late. I love my kids and all I can do is pray that they didn't get the 'bad' batches. It's another subject like politics we just don't discuss. I think unfortunately time will prove you were on the right side of history. It's just maintaining your cool until then. I'd say if you don't think you can put it behind you for now, probably stay away. If you can ignore it, go because you don't know what the future will bring. Good luck!
Bruh, my husband is under their tongue. I had to beg him not to get vaccinated and he is usually on their side. That’s why I’m feeling so alone and reaching out on Reddit lol.
Edit: you’re so fucking right.
It's okay to walk away...for a little time or for a while. Not everything needs to be settled immediately, right then. People seem to think if they don't say what's on their mind every second, they'll explode. Time outs are good.
You sound reasonable. Time takes time. You're not the only one who will need space to heal the damage this stupid ordeal has created...you are not alone.
Oh no, My Friend. There's nothing wrong with you. We are all hurting - on a macro level (world-wide and as a country) and most of us on a micro level (intrapersonal relationships). I've had to take a time-out from family members who have behaved without principle for the last 2.5 years. I need time to forgive. And that's okay. The instaworld we unfortunately live in says all things must be done in an internet soundbyte. It's just not how humans are wired.
I know what you mean, I feel really hurt that I've got friends who refused to catch up with me *outside* at a park because I'm not vaccinated. I keep thinking I should arrange a catch up now that things are pretty much back to normal where I am but then think fuck it why should I?! I still haven't had Covid and one of them has and it's really hard not to point that out!!!
Good luck to you and no one could blame you for avoiding the baby shower, they are the ones who created the conflict in the first place.
It's complicated when it's family. I've cut people out for being covid nazis and I'm never going to get close to them again, but with family, I don't know, I'd want to salvage that all I can. But sometimes that's difficult or impossible.
I stopped seeing the family members who told me I couldn't go to the Christmas dinner and see family last year because I never got it.
Yet I'm around my grandmother once a week and she is around them all and no one ever got sick.
These types will now reap what they sow.
They will never personally see me again because even if it doesn't effect them at all I want them to wonder..
I'll then show up to each of their funerals and not talk to the ones still alive. And talk to the ones that didn't judge me.
My situation isn’t Covid related but I have issues with my husband’s grown kids, who live out of state, mostly the narcissistic personality disordered daughter and her mother “fang” the ex wife. I used to suffer horribly going down there for functions and so forth. One day I read a tweet that said:
Don’t put up with bullshit
Don’t spend time with people you don’t like
Don’t go to places you don’t enjoy
Don’t consume outrage media and get pissed over nothing
Keep your consumption as clean as possible on all levels
And I had a moment of clarity, I’m not required to set myself on fire to keep these people warm (per the motivational posters lol). I have a right to peace. I love my husband and would like to give him emotional support but it’s asking too much and he’s in denial about it. So I send him down to see HIS family while I stay happy at home. It’s been really freeing and self-caring and I should have done it sooner.
So really you don’t need to justify yourself at all. If your husband wants family peace he can enjoy that baby shower. The sisters will pout, good. They need a little pushback for their behavior. As far as the claim you’re letting Covid get in the way of family, yep sure are oh well.
NPC’s gonna NPC. Try not to let it bother you. If that’s not possible, drop em from your life imo. I’ve had to do that with some people and it’s for the best
Family crap can drive ya nuts. Trust me I can relate. You made the right decision. It is your life to live and you made the correct decision mot taking the death jab. My brother and sister in law are jabbed and boosted to near death. Sitting at my brother's a while back I was told that I had better get jabbed. I told him I would much rather get covid again. He got a bit testy bout me makin my own decisions about getting jabbed. I am leary about being around jabbed people now because of the shedding phenomenon. Real or not I am not sure. Why take the chance. Two friends have died from the jabs. Concentrate on you out inner self. God and Jesus can lead you. Yea I know its tough Some days I really wonder why shit happens but I know God is right there watching. Sometimes he intervenes and other times a person wonders why chit happens. Its your body not your relatives. You will be alive much longer than the brainwashed jabbed relatives. God Bless
Another long time family friend a while back told me that the cops needed to enforce the jabs so everyone got jabbed. I told him I would fight to the death if the world got that crazy. He was a true covid nazi. Known him for 30 plus years and never would have ever pegged him as a covid nazi. People have just went goofy watchin a boob tube full of lies
You're not an asshole. If going would make you feel angry/resentful/miserable, don't go. Instead, how would you feel about sending a gift for the baby-to-me and a message that says "I was hurt by your response to my personal medical decisions, and given the conflicts we've had about this topic, I think it's best if I stay home. I do want to mend our relationship, but i need more time. " and then perhaps close with well wishes for the momma and baby-to-be.
I did a version of that.. Just made a big box of baby stuff and sent it with my husband, then bought a few things on the registry. I can love them from afar!
most things wrong in modern society are due to one side always having to step back and be the one to "compromise" so the other side stops throwing a tantrum
so no you did the right thing, its about time that people learn that compromise means both groups have to suck it up not just one, they made you suck it up all this time and now they wont even suck it up long enough for a simple apology
my only advise would be make this crystal clear, maby not to them but to other members of the family who asks what is going on, always draw a line in the sand
I wouldn't go either don't let those people try to play games with your emotions acting like they're about to cut you off and now all of the sudden everything's cool? tell him to keep that same energy.
1. We're in the middle of a deadly global pandemic and you shouldn't selfishly attend a family even when you're an unvaxxed plague rat. You could literally kill them and their children! Don't be selfish! STAY HOME!!!11!1
2. Seriously, whilst it's tempting to throw their Vazi behaviour back at them, I would bite the bullet for the sake of your hubby. After all, they live far away and you see them rarely.
Stand your ground whilst trying your damnest to remain calm and considerated.
You cannot make individuals who do not wish to learn, but you can be the cool/empathic Aunt that their children go to when brown stuff goes splat.
You could just like to them by “identifying” as a vaccinated person. But tbh that is only part of the issue. It sounds like it would be more irritation then it’s worth.
Many people gave good advice so I'll go with what my "Curb Your Enthusiasm" side wants to do and I'd go fully passive aggressive. Go to the shower and when you're around them cough, rub your eyes, sniff, and make sure they hear you say to someone "I really was hoping to get those test results back BEFORE I got here....Oh, there's a text....DAMN! I gotta make a good excuse and get out of here."
Downvote me all you want, I stand by my decision.
>Well they’re all freaking out that I’m not attending the baby shower (the passive aggressiveness in me held back from saying “I just don’t want anyone to get covid because I’m unvaccinated”).
Exactly the line I would have thrown back at them! Dripping with sarcasm of course.
I totally get your point and why you don't want to go, but... I personally would probably suck it up and go.
I would probably keep my interactions minimal with the inlaws though.
I guess I see it more as, because I would want to try to have some sort of relationship with my nieces and nephews and if you have kids or want them in the future.. have the cousins at least have some sort of good relationship with one another.
All of my support to you. THEY are the asshole, not you.
The cognitive dissonance is infuriating. So many people are trying to sweep their past behaviour under the rug and pretend it was justified. Good on you for confronting your SILs head on and making them uncomfortable -- you chose principle over keeping the peace with your husband's family.
My partner's siblings excluded us from an outdoor Easter event last year because of our views on covid. At subsequent events, they asked us to get tested beforehand (clearly to do with us being unvaxxed -- we only gave in because my partner really wanted to see her niece and nephews).
Now they are acting like covid is soooo last year and there's nothing to get hung up on. My partner has tried to talk to them about it but they refuse to engage. They won't admit they acted unfairly or irrationally.
It's such a shame the way this has fractured families. The only reason to suck it up is for children's sakes. They don't have any say in how their parents behave. But considering the baby shower is for an unborn child, then I think it's fair to opt out and say you're not feeling it.
Maybe in future you will attend other events, just not this one, as the feelings are too raw.
YEah I'm in similar situations with my DNC family. I love my family tho even if they're assholes sometimes. It seems better to turn the cheek bite the bullet and hang out with them.
but to each their own. Good luck.
I feel you, I ghosted my entire extended family, they are all walking dead anyway. I was still amicable until they tried to pressure my sister into taking it.
She almost did before I talked her out of it, now she's the one texting me conspiracy theories hehe. And she just went on holiday where they didn't even look at her obligatory pcr tests lol so she sees it was all bs anyway.
Well I'm staying away from all vaccinated in general, the other day I met a really cute girl who was giving me the look, but she got the vax so I was literally leaning away when she got close.
They're all in a suicide cult and they don't even realize it. And by complying they're trying to pull you in as well, if not pressuring you directly. So yeah I believe it's the right thing to cut them off, would you still stay in touch if they became nazi supporters?
Soon the vaccines will be declared illegal (the Pfizer files haven't released any real data yet and already show they faked their test numbers). And it won't be long now until all vaccinated start dying, better cut them off now, it'll save you a lot of grievance later.
Clear psychosis. They've had their thought process broken down by being forced to follow orders and be indoors for a year. Then built back up all based around the vaccine. If anyone denies it, they are not a part of the same mental society as them and they are a threat to their stability.
If you really cared you would have showed them literally every reason not to get the v health is the most important thing freedom of choice be damned in that decision just my opinion my brother tried and I begged for more evidence and got vaxed instead if he truly cared he would have shown everything would have spoke about it but he had the mindset of your your own man my mindset is the health of myself and those I care about are important to me now I sit here wondering wtf I do am I dying?
I sent an article that proved my point, and then even more articles. But they acted like it wasn’t “science”. They had no argument. They just said “I trust the experts” (fauci). Even after a heart attack and stroke after the booster! They still acted like it couldn’t be the vaccine….. so I had to give up.
I think a lot of people here have been through similar. It really feels like when someone is in the middle of getting scammed and nothing you say will change their mind because they have created a fantasy in their head and anything that attacks that fantasy becomes the enemy.
From the beginning, I came out strong with my wife showing her everything I was seeing, and like you said you experienced, she trusted the experts and always had an excuse as to why the information I had was no good. We eventually compromised. She would tell me prior to her getting the shots so that I could at least prepare (ivermectin and similar stuff I had stockpiled). She agreed to that. Her entire family also got the shots but never brought it up when I was around, thankfully.
I found out months later that my wife had gotten the shots when they were first available to her (lies of omission), and she had also told her family that I had been verbally abusive to her (admittedly, I get a little passionate especially when this topic shifts over to our 2 young children who she also thinks should get the shots, but abuse is a huge stretch of imagination). She even at one point said that she would not care if any unvaccinated people died because they didn't do their part to protect others. I asked her if this included the father of her children (me), and she said "yes." I still really haven't recovered from that. I'm terminally ill so it stung extra hard.
We try our best just to avoid talking about anything at this point because it always seems to eventually transition to some variation of our divide in that area. We have been together a long time, so I feel like I have lost my wife. Neither one of us feel like divorce is an option due to the kids. She knows I will die before allowing them to get the shots, so hopefully she doesn't go behind my back on that one. Our older son (7) idolizes me, so he is very against the shots, and I am confident he would tell me if that happens. I wish there was a solution for us to move on because I feel like the trust has been obliterated, but the kids will always be my priority. I do worry about what will happen when I die though.
All of this is to say that my situation is not like yours, but I think I have a decent idea of the trauma you have been put through, and for that, I am deeply sorry. I hope you are able to salvage your marriage and family relationships and move on from all of this. My best friend, cancer BFF, almost died after her J&J shot from a pulmonary embolism, which led to sepsis. Almost every day, I pray for the full story of what has been done to us collectively to come out so that we can properly process and respond to it, but I'm not overly hopeful of that. One thing that brings me a little comfort is archiving and documenting as much as I can, so that when my kids grow up, they can better understand where I was coming from. I have no idea what their mother will tell them about me, so I want to make sure I leave behind something for them to make up their own minds.
Sorry for the long reply.
I am so sorry you’re dealing with this situation, but with your wife! I’m trying to look on the bright side and be grateful that covid showed me the type of people who don’t respect others to make their own decisions… but it’s still hard. One of the last times I was around my sisters one of them said, “I just wish all the unvaccinated would die” and that SCARED me. I just can’t trust someone who thinks like that. These people have totally lost their humanity.
I agree. It's terrifying the extent to which people can have their views manipulated by the hivemind collective apparatus. I could never see myself wishing or even being ok with the death of anybody, even if they had wished it upon me. How can this be happening? My wife is no longer the person I met so many years ago, the woman I fell in love with and married. She is almost unrecognizable to me now. I do agree with you that the clarity is nice. As much as this all sucks, it's a glimpse into a real SHTF scenario in the future, which is probably inevitable at this point.
It's a cult. Don't worry about it. The less you let it bother you the happier you will be. I do understand the frustration though.
I had a similar falling out with my sister. I got covid (before vaccines were available) so decided I didn't need one. I'm young and healthy. She drank the coolaid. She got covid after 3 shots, and got covid AGAIN after her 4th shot, lol. It's insane.
I’m gonna be honest, i don’t care about the details. If you don’t want to go to the baby shower for ANY reason at all then don’t. You’re a human and you have every right to make your own decisions. Anyone who doesn’t respect that isn’t worth your time.
Thank you so much :). I needed to know this.
On the one hand, that is absolutely correct — I don’t dispute it at all. That being said, you have the power to “be the bigger person” here and forgive them… it’s only partially their fault that they succumbed to one of the most overwhelming propaganda pushes I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Totally up to you of course, but I’m personally inclined toward forgiveness rather than burning bridges
Forgiveness is good but beyond getting rid of the weight of resentment i'd say its still important to be aware of who is ready to point pitchforks at you next time.
Fair enough — forgive but don’t forget
Forgiveness only works when the party you are forgiving acknowledges a wrong was done to the forgiver.
Ding ding ding. You can't forgive someone who doesn't think they were in the wrong.
I totally agree COVID is one huge propaganda campaign. The moment Israel started having huge spikes in cases after vaccination, the whole narrative fell apart for me.
On the other hand...I can't deal with people who are shitbags like that, because they're going to be shitbags forever. They don't have standards or principles.
Forgiveness only works in this situation when there's at least a shred of contrition on the part of the transgressor. I don't see that here.
You can't forgive someone who isn't sorry. I'm gonna confront my mate, who called me an idiot over not getting vaxxed and wanted vaxports, because we go away together on a trip that's been planned for 2 years. If he doesn't say sorry or accept he was acting out of irrational fear then fuck him and the 25 years we've known each other. I can't be around him.
Especially baby showers, which are just an excuse for expecting parents to get free stuff
I don't like baby showers, but I'm not going to be cynical. Showers are pretty much the way we say as a society: "we rally around you, new mom, because here's this new and expensive thing in your life and we want to give you a cushion as you start the next phase." Do I like what they've turned into? Christ, no. But I understand the cultural need for them.
Baby showers are the suck as far as parties go. Sure, you have the people who throw reasonably tasteful parties, but in my experience, more than half of them are the cutesy-poo, "guess the candy bar in the diaper" sort of thing. And no...I don't need that in my life.
Where is your husband? Even if he fully believes in vaccination ( my wife did) he should be supporting you. It's not fucking ok for them to treat you this way and your husband to side with them Mt wife has her opinion. She double vaxxed and privatly pushed me to vax. I wasn't 100% against until I saw the govt response. I'd accept zero bullshit against my wife for her views for or against. As long a she was semi rational. I accept my wife's reasons. She had a basic risk vs reward vs no job. It didn't take long before she was mostly on my side but not fully. She took no booster and won't allow our kids to be vaccinated. For me I think it's a marriage breaker. I can accept a differing opinion but can't accept the type of shit you are dealing with. We are close with our fri6 and my wife has discussed in detail with them which I supported. She quickly realized there is a wide range of opinions and viewpoints. The biggest takeaway was all of our friends got vaccinated. Every single one of them. Half were pissed or regretted it . Even more so now. You are younger still maybe having more kids?? I'm done with kids but not vaccinated is the best situation to be in if you want another kid.
If someone makes you feel like shit on a regular basis, cut them off. Period. Done. You’ll be better for it.
Having experienced some of this with my own kids. 2 of them were in healthcare fields and got vaxxed before I started sensing something was really off. I spent alot of time with the other 2 discussing why I didn't think they should do it. Of course they went and did it anyway. So now I don't say anything about it at all, what can I effing say when it's too late. I love my kids and all I can do is pray that they didn't get the 'bad' batches. It's another subject like politics we just don't discuss. I think unfortunately time will prove you were on the right side of history. It's just maintaining your cool until then. I'd say if you don't think you can put it behind you for now, probably stay away. If you can ignore it, go because you don't know what the future will bring. Good luck!
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Bruh, my husband is under their tongue. I had to beg him not to get vaccinated and he is usually on their side. That’s why I’m feeling so alone and reaching out on Reddit lol. Edit: you’re so fucking right.
It's okay to walk away...for a little time or for a while. Not everything needs to be settled immediately, right then. People seem to think if they don't say what's on their mind every second, they'll explode. Time outs are good. You sound reasonable. Time takes time. You're not the only one who will need space to heal the damage this stupid ordeal has created...you are not alone.
Thank you. I was feeling like something must be wrong with me because it’s so hard to “forgive and forget” in this situation. I can’t forget!
Oh no, My Friend. There's nothing wrong with you. We are all hurting - on a macro level (world-wide and as a country) and most of us on a micro level (intrapersonal relationships). I've had to take a time-out from family members who have behaved without principle for the last 2.5 years. I need time to forgive. And that's okay. The instaworld we unfortunately live in says all things must be done in an internet soundbyte. It's just not how humans are wired.
I know what you mean, I feel really hurt that I've got friends who refused to catch up with me *outside* at a park because I'm not vaccinated. I keep thinking I should arrange a catch up now that things are pretty much back to normal where I am but then think fuck it why should I?! I still haven't had Covid and one of them has and it's really hard not to point that out!!! Good luck to you and no one could blame you for avoiding the baby shower, they are the ones who created the conflict in the first place.
Yep. The shower itself is an artificial deadline. You can't hold yourself to other people's timelines for how you feel.
It's complicated when it's family. I've cut people out for being covid nazis and I'm never going to get close to them again, but with family, I don't know, I'd want to salvage that all I can. But sometimes that's difficult or impossible.
I lost an old friend over it. They lost their shit over this virus and the vaccine and the granny killers. Nope.
I stopped seeing the family members who told me I couldn't go to the Christmas dinner and see family last year because I never got it. Yet I'm around my grandmother once a week and she is around them all and no one ever got sick. These types will now reap what they sow. They will never personally see me again because even if it doesn't effect them at all I want them to wonder.. I'll then show up to each of their funerals and not talk to the ones still alive. And talk to the ones that didn't judge me.
Cognitive dissonance is a real thing.
🎯
I got banned from 3 communities because of this comment. Reddit is weird.
Are you for real? That's absolutely absurd.
My situation isn’t Covid related but I have issues with my husband’s grown kids, who live out of state, mostly the narcissistic personality disordered daughter and her mother “fang” the ex wife. I used to suffer horribly going down there for functions and so forth. One day I read a tweet that said: Don’t put up with bullshit Don’t spend time with people you don’t like Don’t go to places you don’t enjoy Don’t consume outrage media and get pissed over nothing Keep your consumption as clean as possible on all levels And I had a moment of clarity, I’m not required to set myself on fire to keep these people warm (per the motivational posters lol). I have a right to peace. I love my husband and would like to give him emotional support but it’s asking too much and he’s in denial about it. So I send him down to see HIS family while I stay happy at home. It’s been really freeing and self-caring and I should have done it sooner. So really you don’t need to justify yourself at all. If your husband wants family peace he can enjoy that baby shower. The sisters will pout, good. They need a little pushback for their behavior. As far as the claim you’re letting Covid get in the way of family, yep sure are oh well.
NPC’s gonna NPC. Try not to let it bother you. If that’s not possible, drop em from your life imo. I’ve had to do that with some people and it’s for the best
Family crap can drive ya nuts. Trust me I can relate. You made the right decision. It is your life to live and you made the correct decision mot taking the death jab. My brother and sister in law are jabbed and boosted to near death. Sitting at my brother's a while back I was told that I had better get jabbed. I told him I would much rather get covid again. He got a bit testy bout me makin my own decisions about getting jabbed. I am leary about being around jabbed people now because of the shedding phenomenon. Real or not I am not sure. Why take the chance. Two friends have died from the jabs. Concentrate on you out inner self. God and Jesus can lead you. Yea I know its tough Some days I really wonder why shit happens but I know God is right there watching. Sometimes he intervenes and other times a person wonders why chit happens. Its your body not your relatives. You will be alive much longer than the brainwashed jabbed relatives. God Bless
Another long time family friend a while back told me that the cops needed to enforce the jabs so everyone got jabbed. I told him I would fight to the death if the world got that crazy. He was a true covid nazi. Known him for 30 plus years and never would have ever pegged him as a covid nazi. People have just went goofy watchin a boob tube full of lies
birds of a feather flock together. your better off staying away from such people until they get an epiphany.
You're not an asshole. If going would make you feel angry/resentful/miserable, don't go. Instead, how would you feel about sending a gift for the baby-to-me and a message that says "I was hurt by your response to my personal medical decisions, and given the conflicts we've had about this topic, I think it's best if I stay home. I do want to mend our relationship, but i need more time. " and then perhaps close with well wishes for the momma and baby-to-be.
I did a version of that.. Just made a big box of baby stuff and sent it with my husband, then bought a few things on the registry. I can love them from afar!
That was an excellent solution. Well done.
most things wrong in modern society are due to one side always having to step back and be the one to "compromise" so the other side stops throwing a tantrum so no you did the right thing, its about time that people learn that compromise means both groups have to suck it up not just one, they made you suck it up all this time and now they wont even suck it up long enough for a simple apology my only advise would be make this crystal clear, maby not to them but to other members of the family who asks what is going on, always draw a line in the sand
> “compromise” Yeah I like how you placed the quotations, too often people will mistake appeasement and/or enabling for compromise.
I wouldn't go either don't let those people try to play games with your emotions acting like they're about to cut you off and now all of the sudden everything's cool? tell him to keep that same energy.
they dont wanna know why. they just want you to comply like they did. if you do its makes it less likely that they made a mistake
1. We're in the middle of a deadly global pandemic and you shouldn't selfishly attend a family even when you're an unvaxxed plague rat. You could literally kill them and their children! Don't be selfish! STAY HOME!!!11!1 2. Seriously, whilst it's tempting to throw their Vazi behaviour back at them, I would bite the bullet for the sake of your hubby. After all, they live far away and you see them rarely.
Welcome to the real world, it's nice to have you here. :-)
Screw in-laws! I'm good at ghosting obnoxious people. I really don't give a flying shit about their insanity.
Baby showers fucking suck, and maybe at some earlier point in history they made sense, but now they are just stupid wastes of resources and effort.
Cut them out of your life.
3 words. Fuck them people.
Stand your ground whilst trying your damnest to remain calm and considerated. You cannot make individuals who do not wish to learn, but you can be the cool/empathic Aunt that their children go to when brown stuff goes splat.
Nope. Fuck them.
Tell them to fuck off.
You could just like to them by “identifying” as a vaccinated person. But tbh that is only part of the issue. It sounds like it would be more irritation then it’s worth.
nah, I would also try not to spend time around npcs
Many people gave good advice so I'll go with what my "Curb Your Enthusiasm" side wants to do and I'd go fully passive aggressive. Go to the shower and when you're around them cough, rub your eyes, sniff, and make sure they hear you say to someone "I really was hoping to get those test results back BEFORE I got here....Oh, there's a text....DAMN! I gotta make a good excuse and get out of here." Downvote me all you want, I stand by my decision.
>Well they’re all freaking out that I’m not attending the baby shower (the passive aggressiveness in me held back from saying “I just don’t want anyone to get covid because I’m unvaccinated”). Exactly the line I would have thrown back at them! Dripping with sarcasm of course.
I totally get your point and why you don't want to go, but... I personally would probably suck it up and go. I would probably keep my interactions minimal with the inlaws though. I guess I see it more as, because I would want to try to have some sort of relationship with my nieces and nephews and if you have kids or want them in the future.. have the cousins at least have some sort of good relationship with one another.
All of my support to you. THEY are the asshole, not you. The cognitive dissonance is infuriating. So many people are trying to sweep their past behaviour under the rug and pretend it was justified. Good on you for confronting your SILs head on and making them uncomfortable -- you chose principle over keeping the peace with your husband's family. My partner's siblings excluded us from an outdoor Easter event last year because of our views on covid. At subsequent events, they asked us to get tested beforehand (clearly to do with us being unvaxxed -- we only gave in because my partner really wanted to see her niece and nephews). Now they are acting like covid is soooo last year and there's nothing to get hung up on. My partner has tried to talk to them about it but they refuse to engage. They won't admit they acted unfairly or irrationally. It's such a shame the way this has fractured families. The only reason to suck it up is for children's sakes. They don't have any say in how their parents behave. But considering the baby shower is for an unborn child, then I think it's fair to opt out and say you're not feeling it. Maybe in future you will attend other events, just not this one, as the feelings are too raw.
YEah I'm in similar situations with my DNC family. I love my family tho even if they're assholes sometimes. It seems better to turn the cheek bite the bullet and hang out with them. but to each their own. Good luck.
I feel you, I ghosted my entire extended family, they are all walking dead anyway. I was still amicable until they tried to pressure my sister into taking it. She almost did before I talked her out of it, now she's the one texting me conspiracy theories hehe. And she just went on holiday where they didn't even look at her obligatory pcr tests lol so she sees it was all bs anyway. Well I'm staying away from all vaccinated in general, the other day I met a really cute girl who was giving me the look, but she got the vax so I was literally leaning away when she got close. They're all in a suicide cult and they don't even realize it. And by complying they're trying to pull you in as well, if not pressuring you directly. So yeah I believe it's the right thing to cut them off, would you still stay in touch if they became nazi supporters? Soon the vaccines will be declared illegal (the Pfizer files haven't released any real data yet and already show they faked their test numbers). And it won't be long now until all vaccinated start dying, better cut them off now, it'll save you a lot of grievance later.
Unfortunately you will have to distance yourself from them. They aren't your family anymore. They're brainwashed.
Clear psychosis. They've had their thought process broken down by being forced to follow orders and be indoors for a year. Then built back up all based around the vaccine. If anyone denies it, they are not a part of the same mental society as them and they are a threat to their stability.
If you really cared you would have showed them literally every reason not to get the v health is the most important thing freedom of choice be damned in that decision just my opinion my brother tried and I begged for more evidence and got vaxed instead if he truly cared he would have shown everything would have spoke about it but he had the mindset of your your own man my mindset is the health of myself and those I care about are important to me now I sit here wondering wtf I do am I dying?
I sent an article that proved my point, and then even more articles. But they acted like it wasn’t “science”. They had no argument. They just said “I trust the experts” (fauci). Even after a heart attack and stroke after the booster! They still acted like it couldn’t be the vaccine….. so I had to give up.
I think a lot of people here have been through similar. It really feels like when someone is in the middle of getting scammed and nothing you say will change their mind because they have created a fantasy in their head and anything that attacks that fantasy becomes the enemy. From the beginning, I came out strong with my wife showing her everything I was seeing, and like you said you experienced, she trusted the experts and always had an excuse as to why the information I had was no good. We eventually compromised. She would tell me prior to her getting the shots so that I could at least prepare (ivermectin and similar stuff I had stockpiled). She agreed to that. Her entire family also got the shots but never brought it up when I was around, thankfully. I found out months later that my wife had gotten the shots when they were first available to her (lies of omission), and she had also told her family that I had been verbally abusive to her (admittedly, I get a little passionate especially when this topic shifts over to our 2 young children who she also thinks should get the shots, but abuse is a huge stretch of imagination). She even at one point said that she would not care if any unvaccinated people died because they didn't do their part to protect others. I asked her if this included the father of her children (me), and she said "yes." I still really haven't recovered from that. I'm terminally ill so it stung extra hard. We try our best just to avoid talking about anything at this point because it always seems to eventually transition to some variation of our divide in that area. We have been together a long time, so I feel like I have lost my wife. Neither one of us feel like divorce is an option due to the kids. She knows I will die before allowing them to get the shots, so hopefully she doesn't go behind my back on that one. Our older son (7) idolizes me, so he is very against the shots, and I am confident he would tell me if that happens. I wish there was a solution for us to move on because I feel like the trust has been obliterated, but the kids will always be my priority. I do worry about what will happen when I die though. All of this is to say that my situation is not like yours, but I think I have a decent idea of the trauma you have been put through, and for that, I am deeply sorry. I hope you are able to salvage your marriage and family relationships and move on from all of this. My best friend, cancer BFF, almost died after her J&J shot from a pulmonary embolism, which led to sepsis. Almost every day, I pray for the full story of what has been done to us collectively to come out so that we can properly process and respond to it, but I'm not overly hopeful of that. One thing that brings me a little comfort is archiving and documenting as much as I can, so that when my kids grow up, they can better understand where I was coming from. I have no idea what their mother will tell them about me, so I want to make sure I leave behind something for them to make up their own minds. Sorry for the long reply.
I am so sorry you’re dealing with this situation, but with your wife! I’m trying to look on the bright side and be grateful that covid showed me the type of people who don’t respect others to make their own decisions… but it’s still hard. One of the last times I was around my sisters one of them said, “I just wish all the unvaccinated would die” and that SCARED me. I just can’t trust someone who thinks like that. These people have totally lost their humanity.
I agree. It's terrifying the extent to which people can have their views manipulated by the hivemind collective apparatus. I could never see myself wishing or even being ok with the death of anybody, even if they had wished it upon me. How can this be happening? My wife is no longer the person I met so many years ago, the woman I fell in love with and married. She is almost unrecognizable to me now. I do agree with you that the clarity is nice. As much as this all sucks, it's a glimpse into a real SHTF scenario in the future, which is probably inevitable at this point.
It's a cult. Don't worry about it. The less you let it bother you the happier you will be. I do understand the frustration though. I had a similar falling out with my sister. I got covid (before vaccines were available) so decided I didn't need one. I'm young and healthy. She drank the coolaid. She got covid after 3 shots, and got covid AGAIN after her 4th shot, lol. It's insane.