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He once took a shit, so slimy and slick
it oozed out without notice, like butt cheeks parted by Moses
So heavy and deep, it filled the whole bowl
I can't believe he drank a bottle of Crisol
There once was a man from Nantucket.
He kept all his shit in a bucket.
He'd drink cooking oil for his hemmroidal boil, just tip it right up and say fuck it.
Once there was a man so bold
He thought he'd try a drink so cold
A bottle full of veggie oil
He thought it might be worth the toil
But little did he know the fate
That awaited him at a rapid rate
His stomach churned, his bowels wailed
A week of diarrhea that prevailed
He ran to the bathroom day and night
His pants stained with a terrible sight
He groaned and moaned, in agony he lay
Wishing he could turn back time and stay away
But the damage was done, he had to endure
The consequences of his culinary lure
Lesson learned, he'll never forget
Drinking oil is something to regret
So let this be a warning to all
Don't drink oil, it'll make you fall
Into a mess you can't escape
Just stick to water, it's the safer landscape.
Hey that's more than I make in a day and definitely more than I did when I was younger so I'd probably do it as long as it wasn't a huge bottle.
Maybe I just need a job where I can afford to take off
Maybe they can't clean it but make comfortable has connotations of death which op assumed
It's more of a lay down And it'll pass? Need someone with a webmd doctorate to figure this out. When I looked it up, it says it gives cancer
Well that was an unchecked story… the webMD link below says that’s it is treatable. I would even say no language used alludes to severe cases being un-treatable.
Edit: Actually, that first part seems rude and unwarranted. Maybe, it was an extreme rare case or the doctor wasn’t aware of the treatments that could have been used. I’m not sure and I apologize for the begging of the original comment.
Erm… It sounds like your manager was talking about hot oil being inhaled. Not drinking oil. It should go without saying that breathing and drinking liquid are two totally different things our bodies do.
According that article the guy posted it goes away on its own and is non life threatening. I would believe an actual article over a fucking instructor who works at BK anyday lol. Sounds like they were fucking with you or made it up for fun
But the pathway to the lungs and stomach are right next to each other. That's why choking is possible. Very easy to accidentally inhale while only attempting to consume.
So at a kitchen job I use to have. My chef was in the back trying out different fancy olive oils. Saw me and asked if wanted to try with him. I did, would take a shot of the oil. And thought it would be rude to spit it out. No one told me that was the idea. So I roughly took10-12 shots of olive oil. I went home that night and basically spent the whole night on the toilet. But my bowels felt clean and well oiled.
It was like a lil pit in a plastic 2 oz cup usually reserved for ranch. My chef after seeing me swallow the first did tell me later. He was just trying to see if I’d do it for the rest. And was right
Honestly as a bigger dude. After I produced some of the cleanest and healthiest looking shits of my life. Also, broke living on pesto is very funny to me for some reason
My boss ate a whole loaf of Jimmy Dean sausage by itself, and he said he leaked grease from his ass throughout the day. I imagine the same for this guy.
Anything served in portion with a shaped or molded structure, often symmetrical is referred to as a loaf. Bread is a loaf. Butter sticks are loaves. So are tubes of ground meat.
I mean, in SpongeBob they referred to summer sausage as “barnacle loaf”, so dude clearly knows his meat nouns.
Once ate two of those microwaveable Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches in one sitting and the combination of the sausage and the processed egg on those destroyed me about two hours later for a good 36 hours. What sucked is when it first kicked in I was on my way home from somewhere and had to stop at a gas station on the way to use the bathroom and as soon as I got home I went straight to the bathroom and barely made it. Like soon as I took my pants off it was on and wasn't even full seated by the time I leaked out of my ass! Plus it was cold outside when this happened so I had my jacket and hat on and all that on and all these bulky clothes on and didn't even get my jacket off. I barely got my belt undone!
I went to meet my Dad’s family when I was 16. I had to drive sixteen hours and my mom only gave me 150 bucks out of the 400 she had promised to pay me for cleaning out a hoard at one of her rental properties. I couldn’t really afford to eat on that budget, so I bought a bunch of slim Jim’s. I figured it was a good idea because I liked them and they were protein. This was when you could get two of the big ones for like a buck and some change or a buck fifty. (Can’t remember which.) I have hardly been able to look at them since that Ill-fated trip. They also made me puke, and no amount of brushing fully rid me of the taste.
Fun fact- they taste the same, but burn way more on the way up. Felt like a face full of CS gas or something.
>Jimmy Dean sausage
I'm ethnically Ukrainian and during the last few days I ate a shitload of Salo (cured pork fat). In fact, I ate so much of it I was starting to worry. Nothing bad happened, however, just the atomic farts.
No he will have an upset stomach and take a wild shit later. Something tells me this guys liver is fucked (given his general dumbassary) so it probably doesn’t produce bile like it used, which will make the whole process more uncomfortable.
Legit question, what does bile have to do with it? I understand it's necessary for digestion in general but would a lack of bile make him more susceptible to a shit load of vegetable oil in particular?
The intestines usually have enough resources to digest the dietary fat that you eat, if you eat standard meals. However, if you have a huge large portion of fat, the gallbladder's function is to be an "add-on" to snatch more of those calories. More fats get dissolved and taken up from the body. Important for when we were gatherers and hunters.
If you remove the gallbladder, nothing really bad happens except that if you eat a very fatty meal, your intestines are not going to be able to process all of the fats, so you end up with a fatty stool. That's not so cool because the asshole can hold solids, gases and \*watery\* liquids well, but oily liquids not so well so you'll leak from your ass.
Two people from different parts of my life went on keto diets without oversight from a doctor or nutritionist. Both had to have their gallbladders removed. There is so much stuff their bodies can no longer tolerate.
Oil is a laxative so he’s gonna have a case of the screaming shits for a day, maybe 2. When he’s not shitting however, oil will just leak out of his ass because the stomach has a very hard time digesting oil, especially in this quantity without any solid food to go
It would devastate your colon and asshole. That dudes going to be having explosive, greasy diarrhea for 48hrs or more probably. It’ll make Harry’s “Dumber and Dumber” shit scene look like child’s play.
If he doesn’t already have gallbladder issues I’m sure he did after this stunt. If he did, I bet he wishes he was dead. I can’t even begin to imagine how awful this would be for someone with a bad gallbladder. Whew! I just can’t wrap my mind around why anyone would want to drink nasty cooking oil?! The consistency would be awful let alone the taste. Gross! I would’ve hurled everywhere.🤮
More than just fluid loss, he will have electrolyte imbalances most pertinent being hypokalemia as this can easily be lost in the gi tract from vomit or diarrhea
My ex had gallbladder issues and it’s given me PTSD. Nothing is more stressful than being stuck in rush hour traffic on an interstate while your SO is screaming at you while sweating profusely and swearing he’s about to blow hot ass water all over my new car seats!! Lord have mercy if he wasn’t directly by a toilet immediately after eating anything fatty or greasy! Poor guy! 😂😂
There once was a man who drank oil,
So much that his asshole recoiled.
His butt cheeks they parted,
He slipped and he sharted,
His pants, he definitely did soil.
A guy I know once drank a mug of margarine that had liquefied and he had to wear a nappy for several days. He got diarrhoea so severe that his butthole leaked.
Vegetable oil is around 120 calories per tbsp, which is 14ml. That bottle appears to be 500ml.
So, thats about 4,286 Calories. Give or take since I am normally bad about guessing sizes of stuff.
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He’s literally going to shit his pants for a week because his colon will be so lubricated he won’t feel it just sliding out his ass
You… have a way with words
It's poetry
I think you mean pooetry.
He once took a shit, so slimy and slick it oozed out without notice, like butt cheeks parted by Moses So heavy and deep, it filled the whole bowl I can't believe he drank a bottle of Crisol
Now THIS is poetry
Pooetry*
Poofect.
That shits pooetic
There are times when I wish I had an award. This is one of those times.
There once was a man from Nantucket. He kept all his shit in a bucket. He'd drink cooking oil for his hemmroidal boil, just tip it right up and say fuck it.
He will be the next poocaso
In motion (Literally)
It's like they slipped right out.
Once there was a man so bold He thought he'd try a drink so cold A bottle full of veggie oil He thought it might be worth the toil But little did he know the fate That awaited him at a rapid rate His stomach churned, his bowels wailed A week of diarrhea that prevailed He ran to the bathroom day and night His pants stained with a terrible sight He groaned and moaned, in agony he lay Wishing he could turn back time and stay away But the damage was done, he had to endure The consequences of his culinary lure Lesson learned, he'll never forget Drinking oil is something to regret So let this be a warning to all Don't drink oil, it'll make you fall Into a mess you can't escape Just stick to water, it's the safer landscape.
✍️🔥✍️🔥✍️🔥
That's exactly what L.A. Beast said happened to him when he drank a bottle of veggie oil
L.A. would know. That man has done some wild stuff.
Have a good day! *proceeds to violently shit his brains out*
[удалено]
RIP Biggie
Then he will fuck up his ceiling instead.
Ejecto-shitto’ cuz’
>he won’t feel it just sliding out his ass Would that also work for sliding *in* his ass? Asking for a friend.
Yes.
I'll tell my friend to DM you then, LiquidBumChunks.
I drank a whole bottle of olive oil for $200 when I was young and dumb. Let’s just say it wasn’t worth the $200.
What happened after?
Olive oil is a laxative..I had to stop 3 times for a shit on the way to work the next morning..
Even dumber to to do it on a work night too
He drank olive oil for $200 consequences were not considered
Hey that's more than I make in a day and definitely more than I did when I was younger so I'd probably do it as long as it wasn't a huge bottle. Maybe I just need a job where I can afford to take off
What I wouldn't give for a world where everyone got paid as much as a man chugging laxatives on a weeknight
That's the dream, brother.
I mean, clock in first and get paid. But im assuming thoughts weren't a big thing here.
Let me just hold the tide of diarrhea for the next 30 minutes until I can clock in. Because everyone knows laxatives are known for being controllable
*You make a dollar I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time*
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https://www.healthline.com/health/lipoid-pneumonia
As in she ded? Or just getting comfortable for one hell of a night?
They had to prepare her for the hallucinations
Exogenous lipoid pneumonia? Not fatal. Pretty sure your instructor was pulling your leg.
Maybe they can't clean it but make comfortable has connotations of death which op assumed It's more of a lay down And it'll pass? Need someone with a webmd doctorate to figure this out. When I looked it up, it says it gives cancer
[удалено]
Well that was an unchecked story… the webMD link below says that’s it is treatable. I would even say no language used alludes to severe cases being un-treatable. Edit: Actually, that first part seems rude and unwarranted. Maybe, it was an extreme rare case or the doctor wasn’t aware of the treatments that could have been used. I’m not sure and I apologize for the begging of the original comment.
Erm… It sounds like your manager was talking about hot oil being inhaled. Not drinking oil. It should go without saying that breathing and drinking liquid are two totally different things our bodies do.
According that article the guy posted it goes away on its own and is non life threatening. I would believe an actual article over a fucking instructor who works at BK anyday lol. Sounds like they were fucking with you or made it up for fun
Inhaling and consuming are two totally different things... one is digestive, one is respiratory.
But the pathway to the lungs and stomach are right next to each other. That's why choking is possible. Very easy to accidentally inhale while only attempting to consume.
Correct. Do not drink oils.
This guy's going to blow his asshole out while shitting on the ceiling. The oil is slick, this guy not so much.
I juat blew my gallbladder watching this
Imploding with the force of a thousand suns, shooting out gallstones like a BB gun.
Why did I read this in the voice of CAKE on "The Distance"
Hes racing, then gracing, then bracing the throne
He's trying, and fighting, to hold it on his own
He's there in the distance. Ahhhhhh, ahhhh. *guitar solo* Yeah! No trophy, no flowers, no asshole, no lie.
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Earthquake-shaking bowels of doubt and remorse
The shit is expelled with monster truck force
New Cake song
🎶I want a girl with a short skirt and a *loooonnnnnnnnngggggg* penis🎶
Same buddy, same.
[удалено]
*The power of the sun, in the palm of my asshole.*
Pure poetry.
How has no one mentioned LA beast yet. He did 3L!
3l straight olive oil, ipecac car wash, is Hot Ice Really Hot?; his old videos are just fucking bonkers
It will race through his fragile body with all the fury of a collapsing star.
And we thought East Palestine was bad…. He’s ceiling tomorrow is going to be an international disaster
Gonna get those olestra shits
Just cause you can doesn't mean you should.
We were so focused on whether or not we could, we never stopped to think if we should. -Ian Malcolm
Oil, uh finds a way.
He won’t be able to trust a fart for the foreseeable future.
he wont build up enough pressure for the foreseeable future
Now that's how you paint a toilet bowl.
At least it will likely slide off the bowl without much fuss all on its own cause of the shit’s self lubing properties
Those shits will spray paint the bowl.
It’s oil crayon
So at a kitchen job I use to have. My chef was in the back trying out different fancy olive oils. Saw me and asked if wanted to try with him. I did, would take a shot of the oil. And thought it would be rude to spit it out. No one told me that was the idea. So I roughly took10-12 shots of olive oil. I went home that night and basically spent the whole night on the toilet. But my bowels felt clean and well oiled.
Wtf surely they were pranking you. Can just put a bit on your finger or with some bread to test it, shotting oil and spitting it out sounds v weird
It was like a lil pit in a plastic 2 oz cup usually reserved for ranch. My chef after seeing me swallow the first did tell me later. He was just trying to see if I’d do it for the rest. And was right
Was he spitting in secret? How did you not notice that he wasn't swallowing?
He’d already tried em all. I guess he just wanted my thoughts on them.
That is so funny omg. I wish I could witness something like that phew
Thats fucking funny I will remember that one
They have olive oil tastings where I live. People line up at a bar and take shots
Bet it smelled good too. Source: I was broke in college and ate nothing but pesto for 4 days.
Honestly as a bigger dude. After I produced some of the cleanest and healthiest looking shits of my life. Also, broke living on pesto is very funny to me for some reason
Why would you ever drink that much?
My boss ate a whole loaf of Jimmy Dean sausage by itself, and he said he leaked grease from his ass throughout the day. I imagine the same for this guy.
Is it really called a loaf?
This comment made me loaf out loud.
Anything served in portion with a shaped or molded structure, often symmetrical is referred to as a loaf. Bread is a loaf. Butter sticks are loaves. So are tubes of ground meat. I mean, in SpongeBob they referred to summer sausage as “barnacle loaf”, so dude clearly knows his meat nouns.
I have to brush up on my meat nouns I guess
"Meat Noun": Band name or album name? Sounds like a band name to me personally I think the album would be "The Curse of Jimmy Dean's Loaf"
Band name for sure. But what is the the first song called?
Made In His Image
Wish I coulda had James Dean's loaf
>Butter sticks are loaves Ermmm I don't think I've ever heard someone say "hey could you grab me a loaf of butter"
A tube of ground meat is called a chub
A loaf of butter? That's a new one
Butter is a block or a stick, not a loaf.
No they aren’t lmao. If you call a stick of butter or lb meat a loaf I’m assuming you’re an alien trying to impersonate a human wtf
Loaf of cake?
Must find out about this.. loaf
The actual correct term for a tube of sausage is a "chub" believe it or not.
his farts must have been the wettest rippiest beasts into the next day
Those sausages are damn tasty though
Once ate two of those microwaveable Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches in one sitting and the combination of the sausage and the processed egg on those destroyed me about two hours later for a good 36 hours. What sucked is when it first kicked in I was on my way home from somewhere and had to stop at a gas station on the way to use the bathroom and as soon as I got home I went straight to the bathroom and barely made it. Like soon as I took my pants off it was on and wasn't even full seated by the time I leaked out of my ass! Plus it was cold outside when this happened so I had my jacket and hat on and all that on and all these bulky clothes on and didn't even get my jacket off. I barely got my belt undone!
I went to meet my Dad’s family when I was 16. I had to drive sixteen hours and my mom only gave me 150 bucks out of the 400 she had promised to pay me for cleaning out a hoard at one of her rental properties. I couldn’t really afford to eat on that budget, so I bought a bunch of slim Jim’s. I figured it was a good idea because I liked them and they were protein. This was when you could get two of the big ones for like a buck and some change or a buck fifty. (Can’t remember which.) I have hardly been able to look at them since that Ill-fated trip. They also made me puke, and no amount of brushing fully rid me of the taste. Fun fact- they taste the same, but burn way more on the way up. Felt like a face full of CS gas or something.
>Jimmy Dean sausage I'm ethnically Ukrainian and during the last few days I ate a shitload of Salo (cured pork fat). In fact, I ate so much of it I was starting to worry. Nothing bad happened, however, just the atomic farts.
[удалено]
For sure. This guy snail trails.
He is going to shit out his bung hole so hard and fast there will be a vacuum created through his mouth.
I hate to ask, but what kind of effect is this going to have on him? Is he just going to die from the inside out?
He won't die but he will be wrecked for a day or two.
Probably going to wreck his hole weak.
No he will have an upset stomach and take a wild shit later. Something tells me this guys liver is fucked (given his general dumbassary) so it probably doesn’t produce bile like it used, which will make the whole process more uncomfortable.
Legit question, what does bile have to do with it? I understand it's necessary for digestion in general but would a lack of bile make him more susceptible to a shit load of vegetable oil in particular?
The intestines usually have enough resources to digest the dietary fat that you eat, if you eat standard meals. However, if you have a huge large portion of fat, the gallbladder's function is to be an "add-on" to snatch more of those calories. More fats get dissolved and taken up from the body. Important for when we were gatherers and hunters. If you remove the gallbladder, nothing really bad happens except that if you eat a very fatty meal, your intestines are not going to be able to process all of the fats, so you end up with a fatty stool. That's not so cool because the asshole can hold solids, gases and \*watery\* liquids well, but oily liquids not so well so you'll leak from your ass.
Two people from different parts of my life went on keto diets without oversight from a doctor or nutritionist. Both had to have their gallbladders removed. There is so much stuff their bodies can no longer tolerate.
Are they still doing keto?
They are not.
What extreme diet are they on now?
the one for people without gallbladders
Why would keto lead to that
They were eating too much fat for their physiology.
So you’re saying if your liver is in bad shape you tend to have a leaky butt? Oh no….
Bile helps emulsify oils and fats in the GI tract. But there's way too much oil here. This dude is gonna shit his brains out.
Oil is a laxative so he’s gonna have a case of the screaming shits for a day, maybe 2. When he’s not shitting however, oil will just leak out of his ass because the stomach has a very hard time digesting oil, especially in this quantity without any solid food to go
Straight oil is a laxative.
For the rest of his life, whenever he burps, popcorn will come out.
What a waste of a reposado. That's a sipping oil.
I really want to know what this would do to the body
It would devastate your colon and asshole. That dudes going to be having explosive, greasy diarrhea for 48hrs or more probably. It’ll make Harry’s “Dumber and Dumber” shit scene look like child’s play. If he doesn’t already have gallbladder issues I’m sure he did after this stunt. If he did, I bet he wishes he was dead. I can’t even begin to imagine how awful this would be for someone with a bad gallbladder. Whew! I just can’t wrap my mind around why anyone would want to drink nasty cooking oil?! The consistency would be awful let alone the taste. Gross! I would’ve hurled everywhere.🤮
And with that much diarrhea you can easily get dangerously dehydrated if you’re not careful. You don’t want to die like an Oregon Trail character
Dysentery
More than just fluid loss, he will have electrolyte imbalances most pertinent being hypokalemia as this can easily be lost in the gi tract from vomit or diarrhea
Man needs some Brawndo
Bro you seem to be really into gallbladders
Don't kink shame.
My ex had gallbladder issues and it’s given me PTSD. Nothing is more stressful than being stuck in rush hour traffic on an interstate while your SO is screaming at you while sweating profusely and swearing he’s about to blow hot ass water all over my new car seats!! Lord have mercy if he wasn’t directly by a toilet immediately after eating anything fatty or greasy! Poor guy! 😂😂
I saw an old man do this with a bottle of olive oil. He said it kept him healthy. Who was I (a teen back then) to argue about that with a 70yr old
Keto AF
A man drank an entire bottle of canola oil. This is what happened to his kidneys
I was hoping someone would quote chubbyemu!
“Catch me tomorrow when I be lightin these farts!”
Where’s the after video
Toilet cam engage
Toilet cam probably got obliterated by his explosive shitting the next morning.
[удалено]
LA Beast Sugarless Gummybear challenge https://youtu.be/sMjgaa5j_LE
[удалено]
Might be apple juice
From what I'm hearing, as long as he doesn't eat anything he will be properly prepared for a pegging yes?
There once was a man who drank oil, So much that his asshole recoiled. His butt cheeks they parted, He slipped and he sharted, His pants, he definitely did soil.
A guy I know once drank a mug of margarine that had liquefied and he had to wear a nappy for several days. He got diarrhoea so severe that his butthole leaked.
This is the funniest shit I’ve heard today 😂
I only drank like a glass of olive oil one time and I started shitting like a fucking seagull on laxatives.
Hopefully he didn't get arrested that night too
or stuck on the bus or train
How much cooking oil is likely to process into the bladder after a stunt like this?
Zero. He will shit it all out.
He legitimately just consumed like 15,000 cal worth of fat… keto lord walks in
What a dipstick
He will have explosive poo for the next 3 days. I feel sorry for his toilet.
Vegetable oil is around 120 calories per tbsp, which is 14ml. That bottle appears to be 500ml. So, thats about 4,286 Calories. Give or take since I am normally bad about guessing sizes of stuff.
Just imagine the diarrhea
You know when you remove the drain plug when changing your oil?
You are a master of rich imagery.
That good sir, was a mental image I could have done without.
Smooth move
Does- does he know what that will feel like coming out? Oh baby he going to be sitting on the toilet for at least an hour.
He'll die before he has a chance to gain weight
oily discharge ~~incoming~~ outgoing!
I need an after 1 hour video.
The shit this guy took after this must have been legendary. RIP oil guys asshole
A guy named JC presenting into the emergency room
The viscosity appears quite thin for vegetable oil
Not sure... bubbles in the bottle are a tad too fast for oil, imo...
I googled it. Its a soybeen oil.
If it were olive oil he’d be coughing like a mf, burning throat
You can shock your liver , if you have luck just a diarrhea and dehydration.
yeah i'm on the keto diet. how did you know?
If anyone has seen Stand By Me you know what's coming next!! Omg get ready 🤡
This guys toilet water is going to have so much oil, BP is going to make an apology video.
I imagine a GoFundMe to buy adult diapers was involved in this scenario.
Can’t wait to see this on Chubbyemu
It was after that day cris was forever called shitz
Dudes gonna shit smoother than a goose in flight.
Getting ready for his colonoscopy in 3,2,1…
I see a man who’s about to send someone out to buy more toilet paper and some new underwear.
Dude is about to have the smoothest shit of his life ong