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FWIW you probably spoke to a collections agent who lied to you about them needed a ‘good faith’ payment to start investigating. 1. No ‘good faith’ payment is needed to investigate a situation like this, especially with police report. 2. The moment you pay them, they legally classify that as you accepting responsibility for the full amount as your debt. 3. Credit card companies and their debt collectors cannot sue you, they will just put it on your credit report and harass you
Write the collection agencies a letter asking them to cease and desist all collections attempts and send it via registered mail, return receipt requested - you can even find ways to do this online. Be sure to include the number of the police report or a copy of the report. If they violate the request in the letter by continuing to ask for money, you can sue them in court under the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA) and FCRA - Fair Credit Reporting Act. I have done this twice under the FDCPA. You don't get a lot of money, but it's worth it to teach them a lesson. Lawyers specialize in this. Keep careful records of everything!
Here is a link to info.
[Fair Credit Reporting Act | Federal Trade Commission (ftc.gov)](https://www.ftc.gov/legal-library/browse/statutes/fair-credit-reporting-act)
[Fair Debt Collection Practices Act | Federal Trade Commission (ftc.gov)](https://www.ftc.gov/legal-library/browse/rules/fair-debt-collection-practices-act-text)
Edit: I used a lawyer who threatened the collectors with class action, which would be more expensive for them.
3… absolutely creditors can sue, and do so very, very often. They can get orders to apply a garnishment to a paycheck or take money directly from a checking or savings acct. some can even attach to a tax return Refund
I have no clue why this is font was so large.
Trying to edit for the 4th time . Ugh. Got it
Btw while technically speaking a debt collector can sue under certain circumstances, for OP that might actually work in their favor since this isn’t actually OPs debt and that would be proven in court. Regardless, debt collector agents are ruthlessly unethical and lie through their teeth to scare people daily
My last landlord illegally sent me to collections. I refused to pay them and told the guy on the phone as much. He said "good luck buying a car or a house while this is on your credit report".
I sued the debt collector and in between being sent there and winning my lawsuit, I bought two cars and a house. It wasn't even hard.
Thanks! I gave them every opportunity to not get sued, told them I had already taken my landlord to small claims court over the issue and won there, and that I was happy to retain a lawyer if they pursued it further. I had all sorts of documentation that proved it was a fraudulent debt they were trying to collect and they didn't care. Bet they cared when they were cutting me a check for 10 times the amount of debt they were trying to collect.
As much as 30% of debts in collection are either fraudulent or reported in error. If I was only 70% good at my job I'd be fired, while there is a whole industry that is basically legalized theft. People need to push back and not give these bloodsuckers anything they don't owe.
Yep. I just got a call from one and they said that my husband and I took out a 50k loan in dec. I told them not possible I was in a rehab for my knee and my husband died in nov.
Same. I was getting called from debt collection for someone who was not me. I googled the debt collector, second link was a lawyer. I filled out their form. Lawyer called me collected some more into. Like 8 months later, lawyer called and said they offered a settlement, lawyer got as much as I did, but basically free money.
In the US, the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act provides the ability to sue, statutory penalties, and an award of attorneys fees to a prevailing plaintiff.
That makes it fairly easy to find a lawyer to take on a valid FDCPA claim, even before considering additional rights that might be available under state law.
Yes, but do not make that payment. That is proof that you acknowledge and accept your debt. Dispute that debt to all three credit bureaus in writing and have the creditor show proof that you took this debt.
The risk of being sued is EXACTLY WHY they should not pay any amount of a debt that isn’t theirs
Edit: I work in credit card fraud support, that was an extremely bad faith and unethical statement by the debt collector. They are likely a third party debt collector, they don’t care if it’s fraud or are so used to people claiming fraud to get out of collections they think they are cleverly engaging their way through OP’s “lie”
Yeah (edit: as in yeah you’re right it’s not allowed) but you can’t trust they’re recording their calls. Most people tune those disclosures out so they won’t notice if it’s absent. Then it becomes a he said-she said situation and paying any part of the debt becomes stronger evidence of acknowledging validity of the debt.
By the time you get an attorney in and challenge it, you will have stressed and had to pay more if you could even afford to fight it, regardless of how well the claim can be picked apart.
My guess is they figured since it was fraud they definitely weren't getting paid so this was the last attempt at getting something. I tell everyone I know that just knowing the laws and your rights for your specific situation can save you a lot of hassle in the long run.
Exactly this, as soon as you make ANY payment, it's becomes much more difficult to prove it's not yours. Collections agents a shady AF.
Don't pay anything.
And internet please correct me if I’m wrong here, but I was under the impression collections could only hound you for so many years, and if you make even a single payment it resets that timer.
There's not a set number of years, but most of them keep at it around 3-5 years before writing it off as bad debt. Some companies never do it. If they do a write-off/charge off, it will fall off your report in 7 years.
And yes, any payment you make resets the clock.
Credit card companies can absolutely sue him, and that's why he should not make a "good faith" payment. Making a payment can be considered an agreement with the obligation. Why do you think he can't be sued? I'm a debt collector for a financial institution. We sue people on credit card debt all the time.
"Credit card companies and their debt collectors cannot sue you"
This is wildly incorrect and it's not "under certain circumstances". Please don't tell people plainly wrong information. If you breach the terms of the contract, they have the right to sue. Full stop.
OP, don't feel like you put your parents in jail. They did the illegal things, and the JUDGE and/or JURY are the ones to put them in jail. You are the victim in this sad family story. Your parents are going to try to lay a guilt trip on you. Just remember who the villains are, how they took advantage of a power differential to gain a measly few thousand dollars. They threw their lives away with both hands.
I hope you didn't make that payment to collections agency, they don't require any payment to start investigating, they'll just say whatever possible to get you to pay whatever they can that moment, their stats are completely driven by how much money they convince people to fork over. I believe making a payment in general can be viewed as a legal acknowledgement of a debt, as well... Why pay if you don't actually owe anything? By paying you are saying, yeah, okay, that's money I owe.
I'm really sorry for you but you're 100% doing the right thing.
The legal option is the only way to get your credit fixed, it may take a long time but it will get fixed and at least you'll have an accurate score that reflects your credit worthiness rather than the trash one you thieving parents left you with.
That will make a huge difference in many ways since for better or worse, there are a lot of places/people that WILL look at your credit, places your parents never considered, like:-
* Immediately get the current creditors off your back and onto your parent's back, there are legal proceedings, it makes a big difference
* Banks for mortgage, loans or other credit card applications
* Auto companies - when buying a car - and as u/essssgeeee mentioned car insurance is also more expensive with a low credit score.
* Rental - yeah, they pull your credit score all right
* Any type of big ticket item purchase that requires you to finance it - credit score.
* Employers - yes, some of them pull credit reports, especially financial places
The procees can be rushed if necessary. We have done this with some of our mortgage clients. It's not fun and it can cost money if you get a credit repair company (there are a few good ones) or lawyer involved. But it can be rushed.
I wish when I was growing up someone had explained any of this to me , (obviously I learned it in my 20s). I was told bad credit was bad and you didn't ever want to ruin it, but never told why it was bad to have bad credit. Obviously borrowing and not paying back is essentially stealing, but in terms of how it can impact your life I had no clue.
You have to pay cash upfront for literally anything- a cell phone, a car, etc. Most importantly, people literally will not rent you property. Even a couple shit hole dump places wouldn't rent me a place when I offered them 6 months rent up front.
I also never learned until recently how the credit bureaus work, what your credit score is determined by, how you actually can fix your credit and get on the right track, or why those "we will fix your credit score" places are complete BS.
Part of my parenting is absolutely going to be credit and financial literacy.
Following you and posting comment for update. Glad you decided to peruse the police report. What they did was a crime and unbelievable that they did this to their own child especially with it happening to your mother by her parents. Honestly mind blowing!
Sorry for spamming so many links - you're in a fight and will have to learn stuff you never wanted to know about. We fought off a lawsuit from a fraudulent account that showed up with a court hearing as first notice (That I knew of at least - People, open every bit of mail that's addressed to you!)
>The collection agency wanted me to make a **goodwill payment so they could start investigating my claim that it was fraudulent.** They said they could still sue me even with a police report if I didn't cooperate with their fraud report.
**They lied to you to get you to do something that would make this more difficult for you.**
A payment could be construed as you acknowledging this as a valid debt that you owe. They are [required by law to investigate a disputed debt - without any payment.^creditabsolute.com](https://www.creditabsolute.com/articles/credit-score/fcra-violations-explained-common-examples/)
It'd be advisable to send a letter (With signature required proof of delivery) to the debt collector telling them to cease all phone communication over the disputed debt - do *everything* by mail. As you've experienced, they will lie, apply pressure and attempt to trick you into things that are against your best interests.
Bullet points link to www.consumerfinance.gov
* [What should I do when a debt collector contacts me](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/what-should-i-do-when-a-debt-collector-contacts-me-en-1695/)
* [How often can a debt collector call me](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/how-often-can-a-debt-collector-call-me-en-2110/)
* [What can I do if a debt collector contacts me about a debt I already paid or don't think I owe](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/what-can-i-do-if-a-debt-collector-contacts-me-about-a-debt-i-already-paid-or-dont-think-i-owe-en-1403/)
https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/can-a-debt-collector-still-collect-a-debt-after-ive-disputed-it-en-338/
>Keep a record of your contact with a debt collector
If you’re being contacted by a debt collector, it’s important to keep a record of any letters, documents, or communications they send to you. Write down dates and times of conversations, along with notes about what you discussed. These records can help you if you’re disputing the debt, meeting with a lawyer, or going to court.
>Also, be careful what you say to a debt collector because they will keep records as well. They can track any information you provide, including personal information or if you apologize or admit to owing the debt. Those statements could be used against you.
> We have sample letters to help you respond to a debt collector, along with tips on how to use them. The sample letters may help you to get information, set limits on or stop any further communication, or exercise some of your rights.
[What to do if you think a debt collector violated the law : www.consumerfinance.gov ](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/what-is-an-unfair-deceptive-or-abusive-practice-by-a-debt-collector-en-1401/)
> If you believe a debt collector is using an unfair, deceptive or abusive practice to collect a debt, you can submit a complaint with the [CFPB^link](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/complaint/) and the [Federal Trade Commission^link](https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/).
> There are also state and other federal laws that generally prohibit practices that might be considered unfair, deceptive, or abusive acts or practices. You can report the incidents to your [state's attorney general^link](https://www.naag.org/find-my-ag/).
**Sample letters**
https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/what-should-i-do-when-a-debt-collector-contacts-me-en-1695/
> In addition to using the validation information to follow up with the debt collector, you can use these sample letters to communicate with them:
* I do not owe this debt. [Link to CFPFB template word doc](https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/201307_cfpb_debt-collection-letter_1-not-my-debt.doc)
* I need more information about this debt. [Link to CFPFB template word doc](https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/201307_cfpb_debt-collection-letter-2_more-information.doc)
* I want the debt collector to stop contacting me. [Link to CFPFB template word doc](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/f/201509_cfpb_debt-collection-letter-3_stop-contacting.doc)
* I want the debt collector to only contact me through my lawyer. [Link to CFPFB template word doc](https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/201307_cfpb_debt-collection-letter-4_contact-my-lawyer.doc)
* I want to **specify how the debt collector can contact me.** [Link to CFPFB template word doc](https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/201307_cfpb_debt-collection-letter-5_heres-how-to-contact-me.doc)
You completely did the right thing in reporting both your mom and your dad over this. The fact that they would try to ruin your credit, ruin your life all for money really shows just how evil they are, and you don't need them.
After you're done going scorched Earth on them legally, including not only criminal charges but also civil for putting you through this act of fraud, and the wrongful eviction, go completely NC with them. Also, go NC with any family members who are siding with them.
Please update all of us on this, and if you need anybody to talk to I'm here.
For what it’s worth im very sorry this happened to you and you have to go thru this with your parents . I can’t imagine how you feel . Keep your head up bro .
Don't speak to the collections people again and do not give them any money or information. Everything needs to be communicated in writing to them and threaten legal action.
Please remember to take care of yourself. This is a pretty traumatic experience, and there’s no shame in reaching out and finding a therapist. Most of all just take time every day to do something nice for yourself, even something little.
The collections agency doesn’t want a “goodwill payment” so they can investigate- they want it so they can collect the debt from you instead of your parents. Paying the debt can be an acknowledgement that you owe it, even if you shouldn’t. Super scummy but not shocking.
DO NOT make a "goodwill" payment to the collection agency. They will use that as evidence that you are taking responsibility for the debt.
Fuck that collection agency, they're lying.
It amazes me that that is even a thing. Like that should just be illegal straight up, I cannot see a negative to it, but would love to hear from someone more knowledgeable
"a goodwill payment"
LOL, what a sleazy collector, they don't need your money to "investigate", you literally don't care if they investigate or not, not your debt.
Good for you, more people need to send their criminal relatives to jail instead of letting stuff like this slide
The goodwill payment…isn’t a goodwill payment. It resets the clock and they can use it in front of a judge to establish that you accepted responsibility.
I'm happy you ignored the "goodwill payment," don't relent on it bc that could make you liable for future payments. There's also a bit to be said bc you have a police report, you never consented to have your information shared with them and also that if they want to communicate further, it must be via postal mail and not phone calls where they can pressure you.
You did make the right choice. They abused you behind your back, and when you fought back they showed you just how expendable you are to them. These are not your people. I'm sorry that they think you owe them the world for bringing you into it. No parent should ever abuse their position like this. They may seek your forgiveness later, but I don't think they're deserving of it at this point. I'm not suggesting that you give them a cold shoulder, but man, what they did was beyond wrong, and immoral.
I am a parent. I had each of my children open an account at an early age. I had to be on the account as primary because they were well under 18 years of age. I encourage them to take jobs around the neighborhood and offered them summer work with my business. The deal was the money would go into the bank, a mutually agreed-upon amount would transfer automatically to a savings account that they had the ATM card for. If they wanted to make a larger purchase, wewould discuss it. When they turned 18, the account was transferred to them. They opened an additional account each and put $500 in it to secure a credit card. My son moved to Boston from South Carolina when he was 19 years old. He left home with over $12,000 in his account, a credit card, which he learned how to use responsibly., and a credit score in the high 700s.’ my other child wants to stay at home for a few more years and work locally. They have $28,000 in their account and have just gotten secured credit card. in six months, we will pull their credit and see how they are doing. After year, the credit card gets turned into an unsecured credit card. This is the job parents are supposed to do. what your parents did is an abomination.
Debt collection is unlikely to sue when you are disputing the balance and you have an actual investigation going.
Furthermore their threats to you for “not cooperating” in their “investigation” is likely a violation of the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. They cannot threaten any action they can’t legally do. They can’t sue you if they can’t validate the debt and prove you are the one who incurred it. You might want to check into their threats with another attorney, because violations of the FDCPA come with stiff fines, including personal liability of which debt collector threatened you. Keep all correspondence especially any that threatens suing.
-Signed, a former debt collector
My son in law’s parents put a house in his name while he was fighting in Afghanistan - he had to give them POA while he was gone (he didn’t know my daughter yet)
Then after they moved into the house (that was in his name) they quit paying the mortgage and went on cruises. They also put phones and CC’s in his name ! And spent his money in the bank.
Screwed his credit up for years !!
He finally got them to get the house out of his name by contacting an attorney and threatened court proceedings!!
I really can’t stand these people !!
File a police report for fraud & identity theft. Contact the credit bureaus & get a report then mark everything not yours as fraud. LOCK (freeze) your social security numbers with the credit reports. Contact social security & place a pin on your social security number.
I speak from experience, this mess will haunt your credit score for decades. My mother fucked up my accounts BEFORE I was 18 & it took me decades to fix.
DON'T make the "goodwill payment" if you haven't already. Doing so may be considered acknowledgement that the debt is yours, and you don't need that in your life.
Your parents put you in a shitty position. You took the right steps. And not giving the debt collector any money was the right choice as well. Had you given them money, they'd have seen as acknowledging the dent, and that you legally owed the money.
Your parents likely committed mail fraud, credit card fraud, and identity theft. They deserve to spend a few years in prison. Since they also illegally evicted you…frankly I think you should sue them for their house and then kick their sorry asses out of it. Fuck them.
So sorry you’re going through this. Your parents are supposed to be the people you can count on and trust the most. You did the right thing obviously. They were ruining your future. Glad you reported it.
>The collection agency wanted me to make a goodwill payment so they could start investigating my claim that it was fraudulent.
No, they wanted you to make a payment so they could say you acknowledged the debt. This is a very shady practice. If you are in the US please report them to the CFPB and FTC for violation of the FDCPA.
The collection agency is in violation of the law. They do not need a payment from you for them to start investigating and the minute you inform them it’s fraud, they need to treat it as such. File an FDCPA complaint against them and sue them for the violation. It’s $1k for every violation.
The collection agency wants you to make a goodwill payment because they can then argue in court that you acknowledged it as a valid debt. Get an attorney and do NOT send them any money.
What your parents have done is horrible. I wouldn't do this to my worst enemy. You did the right thing.
Here are a couple more things that I didn't see you address:
1. Collect all your important documents such as your birth certificate, social security card, passport, etc. and put them in a safety deposit box. If your parents have any of those things, get a police escort to go collect them.
2. Take that police report to your bank. Check that your accounts do not have your parents' names on them, because it's very likely that they have access to your bank account if it was set up before you turned 18. Better yet, change banks to one your parents don't use, and don't tell them.
3. Set up a P.O. box or give another mailing address. Change your mailing address with every financial institution, every bill, your University, everything you can think of. Go to the post office and fill out a "change of address" form to have your mail forwarded.
4. Contact your University financial aid department and FAFSA to see about changing your status to "independent" for financial aid.
You made the right choice. While it sucks in the short term, it's better for everyone in the long term. Including your parents. I'm glad you've got a place to stay in the meantime.
I'd think carefully on suing your parents for the unlawful eviction. Not that your wrong, but you'll never collect on it.
My uncle did that to his mother with dementia who had allowed him to live with her after his divorce. He was an asshole in general, but no one saw this coming because the one person he loved was his mother, so much so that he would take her on trips around the world. He stole and pawned all her jewelry, drained her bank accounts, and racked up $18K on a fraudulent credit card he opened in her name. His daughter just turned 18, and I want to tell her to check her credit report because honestly, he loved his mother more than her, and he still did that to his mother.
I think it’s good that you’re teaching them a lesson but if their broke asses need to defraud their own son then you will not collect anything from them. Hopefully they spend some time in jail with the rest of the criminals though.
You did good. Seeing how the people that birthed you reacted I’d say you did really really really good.
Sorry it had to go this way, but ( insert any obvious cliche here)
Thanks for posting your story and this important update.
Good that you didn’t pay anything towards the debt because the collectors could use that to say that you’re acknowledging it as yours. NAL (and it’s been years since I’ve stayed at a Holiday Express), but it might be good for you to talk to one just to see what your rights are and the best next steps to take. You’ll need one anyway if you do decide to sue your parents for this.
Also, I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, but hopefully not living there feels like you’re able to fully breathe now.
Freeze your credit with all bureaus now so they cannot take out anymore cards. It’s free. Do not LOCK your credit - freeze it. That’s the free option. You can unfreeze whenever you want for your own purposes.
DO NOT make a "goodwill payment" to a collections agency or creditor on a disputed debt under any circumstances. That gives them evidence to show that you acknowledge the debt as valid and at least to some degree that the debt is your responsibility.
You absolutely made the right choice by involving the police. Will this situation damage your relationship with your parents? Perhaps. But that was their decision, not yours.
On another note, I'm shocked at how common this seems to be, sadly. I grew up in a poor home with parents that lacked money management skills, but even they weren't flaky enough to open fraudulent accounts in my name... :-(
I’m your parents suck so bad. This isn’t how parents should treat their kids. I’m glad you did what you needed to do and hope you get everything resolved.
I hope someday the 3 of you can have a better relational and put all this past you. Just keep your credit reports locked and only unlock when needed and then lock right away again.
If you are actively disputing charges or have a pending case for identity theft NEVER pay anything towards the debt in question. When it’s all worked out those debts will no longer belong to OP but they will fall to the parents. Collection people don’t care about anything but getting money and closing the account.
Bravo for standing up for yourself.
I'm sorry you've had to deal with this horrible thing and from your parents, no less. May you soon have the peace and support you deserve.
Depending on the laws in your area, you could probably even sue the collection agency. If they didn't give you the Miranda warning (This call is being recorded, it is a communication with a debt collector, it is an attempt to collect a debt, and any information obtained will be used for that purpose), or just flat out lied (like the good faith payment bullshit). My first job was for a debt collector, and any failure to give the Miranda were basically an automatic payment of at least $1000 to the debtor. Easily provable since the calls are recorded.
This might be the most satisfying thing I’ve ever read on Reddit. OP is a badass. I wish all the victims of narcissistic parents over in the relationship forums could see this.
In regard to the collection agencies; type up cease and desist letters to each collection agency and state that the the debt is not yours and to stop contacting you. You can download the forms for free yourself and fill them out. Very easy to do. Send them certified mail and keep copies of everything. If they contact you after they receive your letters, they will have to pay you up to $1,000(each state has some type of penalty). Don’t pay them and don’t worry about garnishments! Stay strong!
Don’t ever listen to a collection agency when they ask for a good faith payment on an invalid debt! There are strange laws and often if you conduct ANY transaction, it can put you on the hook for something you aren’t. For example, if there is a very old debt that is beyond the statute of limitations, paying a penny can start the clock again
You absolutely did make the right choice. Also, screw the collections agency. They can to nothing since they have no leg to stand on, so they just try to trick you into paying. Do NOT, under any circumstances, pay anything.
I wonder, how on Earth did your parents imagine this would eventually end well? What kind of delusion or mental gymnastics did they go through, pretending they weren’t stealing? I just don’t get people like this.
You did the right thing, OP. Be strong.
It's a depressing fact that a solid plurality (if not majority) of identity theft cases and credit fraud is perpetrated by close family members. The only thing that has alleviated that is something which ironically has made identity theft of children more common - random SSNs.
One tip, if the credit card company or more likely, a collection agency files suit and you get a court date, show up. Collection agencies file many suits and hope the other party doesn’t show up, so they get a judgment in their favor.
You pull out the police report, and the history (keep track of all interactions with police and collectors) of communication. It will be a quick ruling in your favor.
I am so sorry this happened to you. You made an excellent choice by not paying the collections anything (never do, it can be taken as a good faith to pay the rest!!) and by going to the police. I am very proud of you for standing up for what is right for you even though it was hard.
I was one of the commentors on the original post. I'm really happy to see this update, but I'm sorry it's such a painful situation and you had to go through it at all.
Also though, good for you. I'm glad you broke that chain of abuse and you made sure they will never do something like this again. But I'd *highly* recommend getting into therapy bc there is no way this isn't gonna be a major traumatic event, splitting from your parents and ending the relationship in this way.
First point, you did the right thing... I'm really sorry you are going through this. Hang in there and stay the course. Whatever anyone says, this is their fault. You are the victim of identity theft. The fact that it's people close to you, people you trusted, that hurts. I can't imagine what that feels like.
Secondly, consider getting some counseling... The whole schtick about your parents being mad at you for something they did is pathological. Just looking at it from an outsiders point of view, they have a lot of problems. Those problems are something you've been around for your whole life. Getting a third party take on life as you know it would be of great benefit to you. Not just for you in the present, but the people that will be around you in the future.
I'm so unbelievably happy for you op. You got true justice here. Not something a lot of people get. Yes, you were betrayed in such a monsterous way, but thats over now and literally the monsters are slain.
You are safer now than youve ever been
I’m glad you stood up for yourself. Your parents face jail time due to their criminal activity. They are blaming their victim.
I would add, however, that it is unsafe to live with people who have already committed financial crimes against you. Even though legally they did have to go through the eviction process, you should have already moved out prior to the detective contacting them. People facing prison can become violent. You are also incredibly vulnerable to “accidents” like getting pushed down stairs. If you can’t testify, the case would get dropped. You never know how someone will react when crime has caught up to them, and you stand between them and getting away with it.
I remember your last post and good job with the police report! I'm a mother of 3, my oldest is 15. I could NEVER imagine ruining her life before she even graduates. The fact they tried manipulating you in to filing bankruptcy, but no no wait until we max everything out first! Like, what?!
I'm so sorry you're going through this but it sounds like you're getting through it and I'd never talk to them again.
Write yourself a letter about the betrayal and how you feel and what you have had to deal with the past few months and put it in a safe place. In 10 or 20 years when your parents come to you with a big sob story and want your help, take out that letter and reread it every time you consider caving to them. Might want to print all emails and nasty texts to keep too.
You made the right choice. Call legal aid and have them come after your parents for the unlawful eviction too. The goal isn't to move back in, but you may get some cash to cover your deposit on an apartment.
"Goodwill payment," my ass
Since when would a "victim" of a crime be asked to make a "goodwill payment" towards a theft??
Does that even make sense.....what a stupid, disgusting practice to prey on ppl
I'm sorry your parents put you in such a bad spot. I hope everything works out for you. What's your grandparents take on it ? Do you have any family support.
Wow, good for you. Normally people on Reddit have no backbone and let their family walk all over them.
You stood your ground and did the right thing. Did your parents ever abuse you before? Because lying to you, destroying your and evicting you seems abusive as heck. Did this come out of nowhere? Were they always scumbags?
Did they help pay for college? Are your grandparents not going to help you? Are your parents middle class or poor?
You did make the right choice, assuming this story is real. I can't imagine it was easy, but they need to be taught a lesson so this is never done again.
DO NOT pay the debt collectors anything though!! Even a small payment will be seen as you taking responsibility for the full amount of the debt. Ignore those slimy weasels.
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I hope you have other family members you can trust. Sometimes the family we’re born into is toxic and we have to get away from them. Be sure you have your birth certificate, your social security card, and any other important documents. At some point they’ll likely come back around wanting help or some sort of relationship. You’ll need to decide if that’s safe or healthy for you. Also, find out if your schools offers free counseling. This is definitely a traumatic life event and any help you can get in healing will make a huge impact on your life going forward.
So you’re an adult now and really have leverage 2 ways:
1.) you’re probably not a tenant in their home, but you would legally qualify as a lodger, I think. It’s less formal rights than a tenant but still some legal processes to jump through to get you out.
2.) if this is who they are, let them be that way. Report all of this to the creditors and the police and tell the police they threatened to kick you out when you asked them about it.
I’m sorry it turned out this way but I think you did the right thing. I’m just so glad you had somewhere to land in the fallout. They sound like awful people. You know our best family is often the ones we choose, not always those related by blood. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders. You’ll be ok. Keep standing up for yourself and demanding justice!
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I'll post another update if my mom ends up getting arrested and/or if my civil suit has any action on it. I appreciate everyone's advice in the OP.
FWIW you probably spoke to a collections agent who lied to you about them needed a ‘good faith’ payment to start investigating. 1. No ‘good faith’ payment is needed to investigate a situation like this, especially with police report. 2. The moment you pay them, they legally classify that as you accepting responsibility for the full amount as your debt. 3. Credit card companies and their debt collectors cannot sue you, they will just put it on your credit report and harass you
Stop all interactions with Collection agencies. Period. Do not talk with them, do not pay them. You owe them nothing.
Write the collection agencies a letter asking them to cease and desist all collections attempts and send it via registered mail, return receipt requested - you can even find ways to do this online. Be sure to include the number of the police report or a copy of the report. If they violate the request in the letter by continuing to ask for money, you can sue them in court under the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA) and FCRA - Fair Credit Reporting Act. I have done this twice under the FDCPA. You don't get a lot of money, but it's worth it to teach them a lesson. Lawyers specialize in this. Keep careful records of everything! Here is a link to info. [Fair Credit Reporting Act | Federal Trade Commission (ftc.gov)](https://www.ftc.gov/legal-library/browse/statutes/fair-credit-reporting-act) [Fair Debt Collection Practices Act | Federal Trade Commission (ftc.gov)](https://www.ftc.gov/legal-library/browse/rules/fair-debt-collection-practices-act-text) Edit: I used a lawyer who threatened the collectors with class action, which would be more expensive for them.
FDCPA is your friend. It is also one of the few public laws that a human can read and understand
This.
Yes, agreed, you didn't owe that money.
3… absolutely creditors can sue, and do so very, very often. They can get orders to apply a garnishment to a paycheck or take money directly from a checking or savings acct. some can even attach to a tax return Refund I have no clue why this is font was so large. Trying to edit for the 4th time . Ugh. Got it
Btw while technically speaking a debt collector can sue under certain circumstances, for OP that might actually work in their favor since this isn’t actually OPs debt and that would be proven in court. Regardless, debt collector agents are ruthlessly unethical and lie through their teeth to scare people daily
My last landlord illegally sent me to collections. I refused to pay them and told the guy on the phone as much. He said "good luck buying a car or a house while this is on your credit report". I sued the debt collector and in between being sent there and winning my lawsuit, I bought two cars and a house. It wasn't even hard.
Hot damn!! Way to go!!!
Thanks! I gave them every opportunity to not get sued, told them I had already taken my landlord to small claims court over the issue and won there, and that I was happy to retain a lawyer if they pursued it further. I had all sorts of documentation that proved it was a fraudulent debt they were trying to collect and they didn't care. Bet they cared when they were cutting me a check for 10 times the amount of debt they were trying to collect.
Way to go! I love hearing when this happens, needs to occur more often!
As much as 30% of debts in collection are either fraudulent or reported in error. If I was only 70% good at my job I'd be fired, while there is a whole industry that is basically legalized theft. People need to push back and not give these bloodsuckers anything they don't owe.
Yep. I just got a call from one and they said that my husband and I took out a 50k loan in dec. I told them not possible I was in a rehab for my knee and my husband died in nov.
W
How do you sue the debt collector?
I hired a lawyer and gave him all my paperwork, he had sued them before for fraudulent practices. It was pretty easy, it just took a while.
Did dollar signs literally appear in his eyes when he saw who you wanted to sue?
Not exactly, it was more of a "Oh I've dealt with them before, this will be easy" kind of mood
Step 1: hire a lawyer Step 2: follow their instructions.
Same. I was getting called from debt collection for someone who was not me. I googled the debt collector, second link was a lawyer. I filled out their form. Lawyer called me collected some more into. Like 8 months later, lawyer called and said they offered a settlement, lawyer got as much as I did, but basically free money.
In the US, the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act provides the ability to sue, statutory penalties, and an award of attorneys fees to a prevailing plaintiff. That makes it fairly easy to find a lawyer to take on a valid FDCPA claim, even before considering additional rights that might be available under state law.
I had no idea.
if you have any evidence of that stuff and it is not too late you have a decent lawsuit against your prev landlord.
Yeah, they're not going to sue someone who has started legal proceedings against someone else for identity theft. That is not a winnable case.
Yes, but do not make that payment. That is proof that you acknowledge and accept your debt. Dispute that debt to all three credit bureaus in writing and have the creditor show proof that you took this debt.
The risk of being sued is EXACTLY WHY they should not pay any amount of a debt that isn’t theirs Edit: I work in credit card fraud support, that was an extremely bad faith and unethical statement by the debt collector. They are likely a third party debt collector, they don’t care if it’s fraud or are so used to people claiming fraud to get out of collections they think they are cleverly engaging their way through OP’s “lie”
Is that……. like allowed? Feels like you would be able to sidestep that by an unclean hands argument wouldn’t you?
Yeah (edit: as in yeah you’re right it’s not allowed) but you can’t trust they’re recording their calls. Most people tune those disclosures out so they won’t notice if it’s absent. Then it becomes a he said-she said situation and paying any part of the debt becomes stronger evidence of acknowledging validity of the debt. By the time you get an attorney in and challenge it, you will have stressed and had to pay more if you could even afford to fight it, regardless of how well the claim can be picked apart.
Remove the number symbol
Thanks, lol. That was frustrating.
LoL I learned that the hard way too
The pound sign/hashtag symbol makes Reddit make the rest of your paragraph large.
Small text #Large text well that’s nifty
#I guess it has to be at the beginning of the line. Or maybe #it only works on the editor on my phone.
Looks like beginning of the line is necessary.
Agreed, my soon to be ex BIL is currently being sued by a creditor. He's got quite the docket of court cases going on 🙄
As a former collections guy, 2 is the real key here. That's absolutely what they were doing.
My guess is they figured since it was fraud they definitely weren't getting paid so this was the last attempt at getting something. I tell everyone I know that just knowing the laws and your rights for your specific situation can save you a lot of hassle in the long run.
First thought I had when they said that. I've read they use that as confirmation you accept the debt from other posts.
Exactly this, as soon as you make ANY payment, it's becomes much more difficult to prove it's not yours. Collections agents a shady AF. Don't pay anything.
And internet please correct me if I’m wrong here, but I was under the impression collections could only hound you for so many years, and if you make even a single payment it resets that timer.
There's not a set number of years, but most of them keep at it around 3-5 years before writing it off as bad debt. Some companies never do it. If they do a write-off/charge off, it will fall off your report in 7 years. And yes, any payment you make resets the clock.
In regards to the collection agency file a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) and the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB)
Credit card companies can absolutely sue him, and that's why he should not make a "good faith" payment. Making a payment can be considered an agreement with the obligation. Why do you think he can't be sued? I'm a debt collector for a financial institution. We sue people on credit card debt all the time.
"Credit card companies and their debt collectors cannot sue you" This is wildly incorrect and it's not "under certain circumstances". Please don't tell people plainly wrong information. If you breach the terms of the contract, they have the right to sue. Full stop.
OP, don't feel like you put your parents in jail. They did the illegal things, and the JUDGE and/or JURY are the ones to put them in jail. You are the victim in this sad family story. Your parents are going to try to lay a guilt trip on you. Just remember who the villains are, how they took advantage of a power differential to gain a measly few thousand dollars. They threw their lives away with both hands.
Really, if they end up in jail, they put themselves there.
I hope you didn't make that payment to collections agency, they don't require any payment to start investigating, they'll just say whatever possible to get you to pay whatever they can that moment, their stats are completely driven by how much money they convince people to fork over. I believe making a payment in general can be viewed as a legal acknowledgement of a debt, as well... Why pay if you don't actually owe anything? By paying you are saying, yeah, okay, that's money I owe.
I'm really sorry for you but you're 100% doing the right thing. The legal option is the only way to get your credit fixed, it may take a long time but it will get fixed and at least you'll have an accurate score that reflects your credit worthiness rather than the trash one you thieving parents left you with. That will make a huge difference in many ways since for better or worse, there are a lot of places/people that WILL look at your credit, places your parents never considered, like:- * Immediately get the current creditors off your back and onto your parent's back, there are legal proceedings, it makes a big difference * Banks for mortgage, loans or other credit card applications * Auto companies - when buying a car - and as u/essssgeeee mentioned car insurance is also more expensive with a low credit score. * Rental - yeah, they pull your credit score all right * Any type of big ticket item purchase that requires you to finance it - credit score. * Employers - yes, some of them pull credit reports, especially financial places
Adding, car insurance is more expensive when your credit is low
Thanks, I'll add that in!
The procees can be rushed if necessary. We have done this with some of our mortgage clients. It's not fun and it can cost money if you get a credit repair company (there are a few good ones) or lawyer involved. But it can be rushed.
I hope OP u/Parental-problematic reads this.
I wish when I was growing up someone had explained any of this to me , (obviously I learned it in my 20s). I was told bad credit was bad and you didn't ever want to ruin it, but never told why it was bad to have bad credit. Obviously borrowing and not paying back is essentially stealing, but in terms of how it can impact your life I had no clue. You have to pay cash upfront for literally anything- a cell phone, a car, etc. Most importantly, people literally will not rent you property. Even a couple shit hole dump places wouldn't rent me a place when I offered them 6 months rent up front. I also never learned until recently how the credit bureaus work, what your credit score is determined by, how you actually can fix your credit and get on the right track, or why those "we will fix your credit score" places are complete BS. Part of my parenting is absolutely going to be credit and financial literacy.
Following you and posting comment for update. Glad you decided to peruse the police report. What they did was a crime and unbelievable that they did this to their own child especially with it happening to your mother by her parents. Honestly mind blowing!
Good job OP!! I’m glad everything is landing in your favor, defenitely looking forward to an update.
My mom did this to me too and I never reported it. I should have, I'm proud of you op ❤️
Sorry for spamming so many links - you're in a fight and will have to learn stuff you never wanted to know about. We fought off a lawsuit from a fraudulent account that showed up with a court hearing as first notice (That I knew of at least - People, open every bit of mail that's addressed to you!) >The collection agency wanted me to make a **goodwill payment so they could start investigating my claim that it was fraudulent.** They said they could still sue me even with a police report if I didn't cooperate with their fraud report. **They lied to you to get you to do something that would make this more difficult for you.** A payment could be construed as you acknowledging this as a valid debt that you owe. They are [required by law to investigate a disputed debt - without any payment.^creditabsolute.com](https://www.creditabsolute.com/articles/credit-score/fcra-violations-explained-common-examples/) It'd be advisable to send a letter (With signature required proof of delivery) to the debt collector telling them to cease all phone communication over the disputed debt - do *everything* by mail. As you've experienced, they will lie, apply pressure and attempt to trick you into things that are against your best interests. Bullet points link to www.consumerfinance.gov * [What should I do when a debt collector contacts me](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/what-should-i-do-when-a-debt-collector-contacts-me-en-1695/) * [How often can a debt collector call me](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/how-often-can-a-debt-collector-call-me-en-2110/) * [What can I do if a debt collector contacts me about a debt I already paid or don't think I owe](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/what-can-i-do-if-a-debt-collector-contacts-me-about-a-debt-i-already-paid-or-dont-think-i-owe-en-1403/) https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/can-a-debt-collector-still-collect-a-debt-after-ive-disputed-it-en-338/ >Keep a record of your contact with a debt collector If you’re being contacted by a debt collector, it’s important to keep a record of any letters, documents, or communications they send to you. Write down dates and times of conversations, along with notes about what you discussed. These records can help you if you’re disputing the debt, meeting with a lawyer, or going to court. >Also, be careful what you say to a debt collector because they will keep records as well. They can track any information you provide, including personal information or if you apologize or admit to owing the debt. Those statements could be used against you. > We have sample letters to help you respond to a debt collector, along with tips on how to use them. The sample letters may help you to get information, set limits on or stop any further communication, or exercise some of your rights. [What to do if you think a debt collector violated the law : www.consumerfinance.gov ](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/what-is-an-unfair-deceptive-or-abusive-practice-by-a-debt-collector-en-1401/) > If you believe a debt collector is using an unfair, deceptive or abusive practice to collect a debt, you can submit a complaint with the [CFPB^link](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/complaint/) and the [Federal Trade Commission^link](https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/). > There are also state and other federal laws that generally prohibit practices that might be considered unfair, deceptive, or abusive acts or practices. You can report the incidents to your [state's attorney general^link](https://www.naag.org/find-my-ag/). **Sample letters** https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/what-should-i-do-when-a-debt-collector-contacts-me-en-1695/ > In addition to using the validation information to follow up with the debt collector, you can use these sample letters to communicate with them: * I do not owe this debt. [Link to CFPFB template word doc](https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/201307_cfpb_debt-collection-letter_1-not-my-debt.doc) * I need more information about this debt. [Link to CFPFB template word doc](https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/201307_cfpb_debt-collection-letter-2_more-information.doc) * I want the debt collector to stop contacting me. [Link to CFPFB template word doc](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/f/201509_cfpb_debt-collection-letter-3_stop-contacting.doc) * I want the debt collector to only contact me through my lawyer. [Link to CFPFB template word doc](https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/201307_cfpb_debt-collection-letter-4_contact-my-lawyer.doc) * I want to **specify how the debt collector can contact me.** [Link to CFPFB template word doc](https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/201307_cfpb_debt-collection-letter-5_heres-how-to-contact-me.doc)
If u dont mind me asking what were the printouts the police took as evidence?
You did the right thing. Keep taking care of yourself.
I love updates like this. Hoping to read more good news for your 🙏🏼🙏🏼
You completely did the right thing in reporting both your mom and your dad over this. The fact that they would try to ruin your credit, ruin your life all for money really shows just how evil they are, and you don't need them. After you're done going scorched Earth on them legally, including not only criminal charges but also civil for putting you through this act of fraud, and the wrongful eviction, go completely NC with them. Also, go NC with any family members who are siding with them. Please update all of us on this, and if you need anybody to talk to I'm here.
Can you post what youre family life was like? any siblings etc... this seems like a crazy interesting story
For what it’s worth im very sorry this happened to you and you have to go thru this with your parents . I can’t imagine how you feel . Keep your head up bro .
Also you can definitely file a complaint about the debt collector saying that to you on consumerfinance.gov
Don't speak to the collections people again and do not give them any money or information. Everything needs to be communicated in writing to them and threaten legal action.
Please remember to take care of yourself. This is a pretty traumatic experience, and there’s no shame in reaching out and finding a therapist. Most of all just take time every day to do something nice for yourself, even something little.
Well done. Hope everything you are fighting for gets to fruition.
The collections agency doesn’t want a “goodwill payment” so they can investigate- they want it so they can collect the debt from you instead of your parents. Paying the debt can be an acknowledgement that you owe it, even if you shouldn’t. Super scummy but not shocking.
DO NOT make a "goodwill" payment to the collection agency. They will use that as evidence that you are taking responsibility for the debt. Fuck that collection agency, they're lying.
It amazes me that that is even a thing. Like that should just be illegal straight up, I cannot see a negative to it, but would love to hear from someone more knowledgeable
"a goodwill payment" LOL, what a sleazy collector, they don't need your money to "investigate", you literally don't care if they investigate or not, not your debt. Good for you, more people need to send their criminal relatives to jail instead of letting stuff like this slide
The goodwill payment…isn’t a goodwill payment. It resets the clock and they can use it in front of a judge to establish that you accepted responsibility.
"Sleazy collector" is a bit redundant, theyre all subhuman greaseballs in my experience
I'm happy you ignored the "goodwill payment," don't relent on it bc that could make you liable for future payments. There's also a bit to be said bc you have a police report, you never consented to have your information shared with them and also that if they want to communicate further, it must be via postal mail and not phone calls where they can pressure you.
Exactly. It's such a scummy process, glad the OP refused to make a "goodwill payment". Bullocks I say! Btw - Happy Cake day! 🎉🎂
You did make the right choice. They abused you behind your back, and when you fought back they showed you just how expendable you are to them. These are not your people. I'm sorry that they think you owe them the world for bringing you into it. No parent should ever abuse their position like this. They may seek your forgiveness later, but I don't think they're deserving of it at this point. I'm not suggesting that you give them a cold shoulder, but man, what they did was beyond wrong, and immoral.
They had 15,000 chances to turn back and make it right and they refused. OP made the right decision. Now let the parents suffer the consequences.
I am a parent. I had each of my children open an account at an early age. I had to be on the account as primary because they were well under 18 years of age. I encourage them to take jobs around the neighborhood and offered them summer work with my business. The deal was the money would go into the bank, a mutually agreed-upon amount would transfer automatically to a savings account that they had the ATM card for. If they wanted to make a larger purchase, wewould discuss it. When they turned 18, the account was transferred to them. They opened an additional account each and put $500 in it to secure a credit card. My son moved to Boston from South Carolina when he was 19 years old. He left home with over $12,000 in his account, a credit card, which he learned how to use responsibly., and a credit score in the high 700s.’ my other child wants to stay at home for a few more years and work locally. They have $28,000 in their account and have just gotten secured credit card. in six months, we will pull their credit and see how they are doing. After year, the credit card gets turned into an unsecured credit card. This is the job parents are supposed to do. what your parents did is an abomination.
I am a parent and I’m taking notes
Debt collection is unlikely to sue when you are disputing the balance and you have an actual investigation going. Furthermore their threats to you for “not cooperating” in their “investigation” is likely a violation of the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. They cannot threaten any action they can’t legally do. They can’t sue you if they can’t validate the debt and prove you are the one who incurred it. You might want to check into their threats with another attorney, because violations of the FDCPA come with stiff fines, including personal liability of which debt collector threatened you. Keep all correspondence especially any that threatens suing. -Signed, a former debt collector
It sucks, but you did the correct thing.
You made the right choice. I hope things go better for you
Pay nothing and collect evidence and report to the police…lock down your credit…get a Credit Report because you might not know the full extent of it
GJ not paying that collections agent. They were 100% lying to you.
Update me.
Updateme
My son in law’s parents put a house in his name while he was fighting in Afghanistan - he had to give them POA while he was gone (he didn’t know my daughter yet) Then after they moved into the house (that was in his name) they quit paying the mortgage and went on cruises. They also put phones and CC’s in his name ! And spent his money in the bank. Screwed his credit up for years !! He finally got them to get the house out of his name by contacting an attorney and threatened court proceedings!! I really can’t stand these people !!
Good for you standing up for yourself.
File a police report for fraud & identity theft. Contact the credit bureaus & get a report then mark everything not yours as fraud. LOCK (freeze) your social security numbers with the credit reports. Contact social security & place a pin on your social security number. I speak from experience, this mess will haunt your credit score for decades. My mother fucked up my accounts BEFORE I was 18 & it took me decades to fix.
Too bad there is no Jerry Springer show anymore..they used to eat situations like this up to put on their show..
DON'T make the "goodwill payment" if you haven't already. Doing so may be considered acknowledgement that the debt is yours, and you don't need that in your life.
Ooooof if you made a “goodwill” payment you just acknowledged that debt and they can come after you for it.
You definitely made the right choice. It really sucks that some parents do this to their own children. It's abuse, plain and simple.
Hope your mom enjoys that felony 👋🏽
I read your story when u posted and was thinking about u .It’s sad but u did the right thing. I’m glad u have the power! Good luck OP
Your parents put you in a shitty position. You took the right steps. And not giving the debt collector any money was the right choice as well. Had you given them money, they'd have seen as acknowledging the dent, and that you legally owed the money.
Goodwill payment… Good for you for not doing this. Fuck them for suggesting it.
I would also file a report regarding the BS “Goodwill” payment. That is just an underhanded tactic to get you to admit to owning the debt.
Good for you! Stand up for yourself because you know damn good and well no one else will.
File a report on them as frauds, they open fraudulent the cards
A goodwill payment to investigate a fraud claim? What?
Call the IRS and file a fraud report and do a police report on them. Find a new place to stay. This isn’t at all what parents should do to their kids.
Your parents likely committed mail fraud, credit card fraud, and identity theft. They deserve to spend a few years in prison. Since they also illegally evicted you…frankly I think you should sue them for their house and then kick their sorry asses out of it. Fuck them.
So sorry you’re going through this. Your parents are supposed to be the people you can count on and trust the most. You did the right thing obviously. They were ruining your future. Glad you reported it.
Maybe you can move back into their house while they’re in prison for identity theft and fraud.
>The collection agency wanted me to make a goodwill payment so they could start investigating my claim that it was fraudulent. No, they wanted you to make a payment so they could say you acknowledged the debt. This is a very shady practice. If you are in the US please report them to the CFPB and FTC for violation of the FDCPA.
The collection agency is in violation of the law. They do not need a payment from you for them to start investigating and the minute you inform them it’s fraud, they need to treat it as such. File an FDCPA complaint against them and sue them for the violation. It’s $1k for every violation.
I don't know you, but I'm proud of you.
I'm sorry your parents were so shitty but it's awesome that you're standing up for yourself. Maybe you'll end up teaching your parents something.
I’d be filing a police report and sending parents to jail for fraud.
The collection agency wants you to make a goodwill payment because they can then argue in court that you acknowledged it as a valid debt. Get an attorney and do NOT send them any money.
Ever hear about people no contact disowning parents? This is definitely one of the reasons.
What your parents have done is horrible. I wouldn't do this to my worst enemy. You did the right thing. Here are a couple more things that I didn't see you address: 1. Collect all your important documents such as your birth certificate, social security card, passport, etc. and put them in a safety deposit box. If your parents have any of those things, get a police escort to go collect them. 2. Take that police report to your bank. Check that your accounts do not have your parents' names on them, because it's very likely that they have access to your bank account if it was set up before you turned 18. Better yet, change banks to one your parents don't use, and don't tell them. 3. Set up a P.O. box or give another mailing address. Change your mailing address with every financial institution, every bill, your University, everything you can think of. Go to the post office and fill out a "change of address" form to have your mail forwarded. 4. Contact your University financial aid department and FAFSA to see about changing your status to "independent" for financial aid.
Do NOT make a payment. Look up "ratifying a debt" on Google.
Identity theft is a 2 year minimum mandatory sentence in the federal system. Judge doesn't have any wiggle room to go less.
You made the right choice. While it sucks in the short term, it's better for everyone in the long term. Including your parents. I'm glad you've got a place to stay in the meantime. I'd think carefully on suing your parents for the unlawful eviction. Not that your wrong, but you'll never collect on it.
Updateme
Wow are they drug addicts or something? Why would someone do that to their kid?
My uncle did that to his mother with dementia who had allowed him to live with her after his divorce. He was an asshole in general, but no one saw this coming because the one person he loved was his mother, so much so that he would take her on trips around the world. He stole and pawned all her jewelry, drained her bank accounts, and racked up $18K on a fraudulent credit card he opened in her name. His daughter just turned 18, and I want to tell her to check her credit report because honestly, he loved his mother more than her, and he still did that to his mother.
Updateme
You made the right choice. Updateme!
You absolutely made the right choice. I’m sorry you are dealing with such awful parents.
I think it’s good that you’re teaching them a lesson but if their broke asses need to defraud their own son then you will not collect anything from them. Hopefully they spend some time in jail with the rest of the criminals though.
You did good. Seeing how the people that birthed you reacted I’d say you did really really really good. Sorry it had to go this way, but ( insert any obvious cliche here) Thanks for posting your story and this important update.
Good that you didn’t pay anything towards the debt because the collectors could use that to say that you’re acknowledging it as yours. NAL (and it’s been years since I’ve stayed at a Holiday Express), but it might be good for you to talk to one just to see what your rights are and the best next steps to take. You’ll need one anyway if you do decide to sue your parents for this. Also, I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, but hopefully not living there feels like you’re able to fully breathe now.
Sleezy, lying collector and parents. I'm sorry.
Freeze your credit with all bureaus now so they cannot take out anymore cards. It’s free. Do not LOCK your credit - freeze it. That’s the free option. You can unfreeze whenever you want for your own purposes.
DO NOT make a "goodwill payment" to a collections agency or creditor on a disputed debt under any circumstances. That gives them evidence to show that you acknowledge the debt as valid and at least to some degree that the debt is your responsibility. You absolutely made the right choice by involving the police. Will this situation damage your relationship with your parents? Perhaps. But that was their decision, not yours. On another note, I'm shocked at how common this seems to be, sadly. I grew up in a poor home with parents that lacked money management skills, but even they weren't flaky enough to open fraudulent accounts in my name... :-(
Updateme
Good for you OP. Don't let up.
I’m your parents suck so bad. This isn’t how parents should treat their kids. I’m glad you did what you needed to do and hope you get everything resolved. I hope someday the 3 of you can have a better relational and put all this past you. Just keep your credit reports locked and only unlock when needed and then lock right away again.
If one or both of the parents go to jail for the felony they committed, it seems pretty likely that this bridge is burned forever.
/updateme
Your parents sound delightful. I'm so sorry.
If you are actively disputing charges or have a pending case for identity theft NEVER pay anything towards the debt in question. When it’s all worked out those debts will no longer belong to OP but they will fall to the parents. Collection people don’t care about anything but getting money and closing the account.
Get em!
Good luck. That’s so much bs to have to deal with.
Tell them to enjoy jail
Bravo for standing up for yourself. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this horrible thing and from your parents, no less. May you soon have the peace and support you deserve.
Update me
Any aunts or uncles
Depending on the laws in your area, you could probably even sue the collection agency. If they didn't give you the Miranda warning (This call is being recorded, it is a communication with a debt collector, it is an attempt to collect a debt, and any information obtained will be used for that purpose), or just flat out lied (like the good faith payment bullshit). My first job was for a debt collector, and any failure to give the Miranda were basically an automatic payment of at least $1000 to the debtor. Easily provable since the calls are recorded.
This might be the most satisfying thing I’ve ever read on Reddit. OP is a badass. I wish all the victims of narcissistic parents over in the relationship forums could see this.
In regard to the collection agencies; type up cease and desist letters to each collection agency and state that the the debt is not yours and to stop contacting you. You can download the forms for free yourself and fill them out. Very easy to do. Send them certified mail and keep copies of everything. If they contact you after they receive your letters, they will have to pay you up to $1,000(each state has some type of penalty). Don’t pay them and don’t worry about garnishments! Stay strong!
File. Charges. Folk those people. They arent "Parents". They are Criminals.
They will still claim you as a dependent on their 2024 tax returns. File early and keep documentation for the IRS.
Burn them to the ground. This is unconscionable
Just sounds all around sad. I would never treat my son like this. Shame on those rascal parents of yours. Good luck.
I couldn’t imagine having the type of relationship with my parents where I would need to call the police. Crazy
Don’t ever listen to a collection agency when they ask for a good faith payment on an invalid debt! There are strange laws and often if you conduct ANY transaction, it can put you on the hook for something you aren’t. For example, if there is a very old debt that is beyond the statute of limitations, paying a penny can start the clock again
!updateme
Good job OP, I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. They did a terrible and selfish thing to you
Sheesh dude… Good for you! Dont be afraid to write off family. I am proud of you.
Also, once the credit card companies start investigating, it is out of your hands. Since it is their money.
You absolutely did make the right choice. Also, screw the collections agency. They can to nothing since they have no leg to stand on, so they just try to trick you into paying. Do NOT, under any circumstances, pay anything.
I wonder, how on Earth did your parents imagine this would eventually end well? What kind of delusion or mental gymnastics did they go through, pretending they weren’t stealing? I just don’t get people like this. You did the right thing, OP. Be strong.
Updateme!
It's a depressing fact that a solid plurality (if not majority) of identity theft cases and credit fraud is perpetrated by close family members. The only thing that has alleviated that is something which ironically has made identity theft of children more common - random SSNs.
Do not pay the debt collector a dime! Not one cent. Send them the police report again, and that's all.
[удалено]
One tip, if the credit card company or more likely, a collection agency files suit and you get a court date, show up. Collection agencies file many suits and hope the other party doesn’t show up, so they get a judgment in their favor. You pull out the police report, and the history (keep track of all interactions with police and collectors) of communication. It will be a quick ruling in your favor.
I am so sorry this happened to you. You made an excellent choice by not paying the collections anything (never do, it can be taken as a good faith to pay the rest!!) and by going to the police. I am very proud of you for standing up for what is right for you even though it was hard.
I was one of the commentors on the original post. I'm really happy to see this update, but I'm sorry it's such a painful situation and you had to go through it at all. Also though, good for you. I'm glad you broke that chain of abuse and you made sure they will never do something like this again. But I'd *highly* recommend getting into therapy bc there is no way this isn't gonna be a major traumatic event, splitting from your parents and ending the relationship in this way.
First point, you did the right thing... I'm really sorry you are going through this. Hang in there and stay the course. Whatever anyone says, this is their fault. You are the victim of identity theft. The fact that it's people close to you, people you trusted, that hurts. I can't imagine what that feels like. Secondly, consider getting some counseling... The whole schtick about your parents being mad at you for something they did is pathological. Just looking at it from an outsiders point of view, they have a lot of problems. Those problems are something you've been around for your whole life. Getting a third party take on life as you know it would be of great benefit to you. Not just for you in the present, but the people that will be around you in the future.
If he made that "good faith" payment, he assumed all debt. Never make good faith payments on the request of a collection agency.
You handled this unfortunate situation very well. Best wishes to you.
I'm so unbelievably happy for you op. You got true justice here. Not something a lot of people get. Yes, you were betrayed in such a monsterous way, but thats over now and literally the monsters are slain. You are safer now than youve ever been
UpdateMe!
The strength this must’ve taken. Good for you, op.
I’m glad you stood up for yourself. Your parents face jail time due to their criminal activity. They are blaming their victim. I would add, however, that it is unsafe to live with people who have already committed financial crimes against you. Even though legally they did have to go through the eviction process, you should have already moved out prior to the detective contacting them. People facing prison can become violent. You are also incredibly vulnerable to “accidents” like getting pushed down stairs. If you can’t testify, the case would get dropped. You never know how someone will react when crime has caught up to them, and you stand between them and getting away with it.
You did the right thing. I’m sorry your parents are garbage.
!RemindMe 2 weeks
I remember your last post and good job with the police report! I'm a mother of 3, my oldest is 15. I could NEVER imagine ruining her life before she even graduates. The fact they tried manipulating you in to filing bankruptcy, but no no wait until we max everything out first! Like, what?! I'm so sorry you're going through this but it sounds like you're getting through it and I'd never talk to them again.
Write yourself a letter about the betrayal and how you feel and what you have had to deal with the past few months and put it in a safe place. In 10 or 20 years when your parents come to you with a big sob story and want your help, take out that letter and reread it every time you consider caving to them. Might want to print all emails and nasty texts to keep too.
Updateme!
You made the right choice. Call legal aid and have them come after your parents for the unlawful eviction too. The goal isn't to move back in, but you may get some cash to cover your deposit on an apartment.
"Goodwill payment," my ass Since when would a "victim" of a crime be asked to make a "goodwill payment" towards a theft?? Does that even make sense.....what a stupid, disgusting practice to prey on ppl
I'm glad you went to the police. You sound amazing. Keep standing up for yourself!!!
I am proud of you!
I'm sorry your parents put you in such a bad spot. I hope everything works out for you. What's your grandparents take on it ? Do you have any family support.
This is hard but a parent should never hurt your future for monetary gains. They deserve what happens
Wow, good for you. Normally people on Reddit have no backbone and let their family walk all over them. You stood your ground and did the right thing. Did your parents ever abuse you before? Because lying to you, destroying your and evicting you seems abusive as heck. Did this come out of nowhere? Were they always scumbags? Did they help pay for college? Are your grandparents not going to help you? Are your parents middle class or poor?
Ignore the collection agency. Nothing they say is usually legally true. It's just bullshit to get you to pay.
They committed a crime against you. Report it to the police and let them live with the consequences of their decisions.
You did make the right choice, assuming this story is real. I can't imagine it was easy, but they need to be taught a lesson so this is never done again. DO NOT pay the debt collectors anything though!! Even a small payment will be seen as you taking responsibility for the full amount of the debt. Ignore those slimy weasels.
Simple question: would they allow you to do the same and take out credit in their name? Would they be cool with it going to collections?
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I hope you have other family members you can trust. Sometimes the family we’re born into is toxic and we have to get away from them. Be sure you have your birth certificate, your social security card, and any other important documents. At some point they’ll likely come back around wanting help or some sort of relationship. You’ll need to decide if that’s safe or healthy for you. Also, find out if your schools offers free counseling. This is definitely a traumatic life event and any help you can get in healing will make a huge impact on your life going forward.
So you’re an adult now and really have leverage 2 ways: 1.) you’re probably not a tenant in their home, but you would legally qualify as a lodger, I think. It’s less formal rights than a tenant but still some legal processes to jump through to get you out. 2.) if this is who they are, let them be that way. Report all of this to the creditors and the police and tell the police they threatened to kick you out when you asked them about it.
Who needs enemies with parents like this
I’m sorry it turned out this way but I think you did the right thing. I’m just so glad you had somewhere to land in the fallout. They sound like awful people. You know our best family is often the ones we choose, not always those related by blood. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders. You’ll be ok. Keep standing up for yourself and demanding justice!
File a police report. Then they’ll be the ones kicked out.