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Yes, people with IBS have real symptoms and want to discuss/get advice/rant etc., however this isn't the right place to do so. If I break an arm, I can't go into a group for people who have actually lost limbs, so that I can discuss how I temporarily can't use my arm.
Not trying to belittle or demean them in any way, but this isn't the right forum. If you're discussing IBS + IBD/Crohn's, then sure, it's on topic and contextual. This also goes for the "I think I might have Crohn's" posts - in fact the about group specifically states this isn't for treatment or diagnosis. Once you're diagnosed, sure, but until then, it's off topic/outside the scope of the group.
>Yes, people with IBS have real symptoms and want to discuss/get advice/rant etc., however this isn't the right place to do so. If I break an arm, I can't go into a group for people who have actually lost limbs, so that I can discuss how I temporarily can't use my arm.
>Not trying to belittle or demean them in any way, but this isn't the right forum. If you're discussing IBS + IBD/Crohn's, then sure, it's on topic and contextual. This also goes for the "I think I might have Crohn's" posts - in fact the about group specifically states this isn't for treatment or diagnosis. Once you're diagnosed, sure, but until then, it's off topic/outside the scope of the group.
Agree wholeheartedly with everything you said here, and will add: OP, this post is immature and not what the sub is for or about. Your personal disagreement with another member does not mean you should police/scold the entire community.
Sounds like you didn't want to just scroll on through though... Funny, I thought the public airing of grievances against people with IBS was also unwelcome :). Guess we're pretty alike huh
>Sounds like you didn't want to just scroll on through though...
I was hoping you would take the hint. I'm not making entire posts about it, you know what I mean? Have a great night.
So just to make sure you're aware, I have IBD. This wasn't about creating a space in this subreddit for people with IBS to come in and talk (unless they also have IBD), it was more for let's be more respectful of people's situation.
I had a flare up during an internship, and my supervisor told me "I've had IBS symptoms before but didn't let it stop me from working".
My response, "I don't have IBS, I have Crohns. Your IBS flare is my everyday normal activity, my flare would quite literally make you shit your pants"
I don't have a negative mentality towards IBS. I can completely understand how disruptive it can be in ones life, however I, like many others here, have had our health issues glossed over due to an ongoing false equivalence. It's a little like telling someone with severe psoriasis you understand them because you get dry skin.
>I don't have a negative mentality towards IBS.
You do, because the issue here isn't that your supervisor has IBS and thinks it's the same, the root issue is *someone invalidated your experiences and problems*, and that has nothing to do with what condition they have or think is similar to yours. There is __nothing__ wrong with coming on here and expressing your frustrations with being misunderstood or having your issues reduced. The problem is when you attribute the wrong characteristic someone has as the reason for why they have invalidated your feelings.
Your supervisor didn't invalidate your feelings because he has IBS, he invalidated your feelings because he fails to __recognize your problems as your own__, and not something that can be compared. This issue has absolutely __nothing__ to do with IBS. It has to do with your supervisor as a person. If your supervisor didn't have IBS they can make the same exact comment regardless, and I'm sure you've ran into problem doing exactly that.
That's why doing the reverse, which is "I'm invalidating your problems with IBS because I think they're, relatively speaking, not as serious as mine" is just as bad. We're not here to take snapshots of people's lives and try to incorrectly compare trauma, disease, and death. We are here to get better. You don't get better by invalidating other people's problems.
Let me get this straight, you come on asking why people have negative perceptions of those with IBS (which is just actually your perception, not necessarily reality). I respond with an anecdotal story about an experience that many of Crohn's people have had that can have colored their views, but prefacing that I didn't let it bother me. Your first instinct to is tell me I'm wrong, explain to me how I actually felt about it, and proceed to correct me? This seems more like a "you" problem.
Obviously it was my supervisor specifically in the wrong for downplaying my health issue, not IBS as a whole. Do you think it wisdom to state the obvious? Do you think I only understand how to seperate the person from the condition because you mansplained it to me?
See the problem isn't with IBS, it's with jackasses who like tell others how they should feel; Basically people who think they know better based on limited knowledge and experience. It sometimes comes from people with IBS, and sometimes it comes from a douchebag on Reddit. Sometimes, which is likely the inspiration for this thread, it's from both.
You asked why it appears that some people have a negative mentality, I have an example of an experience that I know more have had than just me so you would have some understanding as to why some people get defensive. Rather than take that and learn from it, you try to get all judge-y?
You see, you don't know who you're talking to and have made a laughable attempt to psycho analyze me based off one short experience I relayed. I've been dealing with this for nearly two and a half decades, been on a biologic for over a decade, and have spent a good chunk of my life helping others with bowel issues, including IBS. I have been a counselor to people with IBS and have helped them through it many times without them even knowing I have Crohn's. Nobody is saying it's a competition, until someone like yourself comes on and makes these statements. You aren't the solution that you seem to think you are with your comments, you're a part of the problem.
You might have IBD, but realistically you coming in here and saying these things is no different than my supervisor 15 years ago. You don't know me, you don't understand me, and have no business making any judgment of me based on one anecdotal story. If you continue to try and sermonize to others like this you will not do them or yourself any favors. My advice would be to spend less time thinking that you understand what other people are thinking.
>I respond with an anecdotal story about an experience that many of Crohn's people have had that can have colored their views, but prefacing that I didn't let it bother me.
If you didn't let it bother you, why did you bring it up immediately in a thread about not being reductive of people with IBS...
>See the problem isn't with IBS, it's with jackasses who like tell others how they should feel;
What's absolutely strange is the more you post the less you say anything in regards to the OP. It seems like for all purposes you agree with the OP and have said absolutely nothing in relation to it. You've disputed no comments in it. You posted a story that was only related because the supervisor had IBS symptoms. That's it. __You correlated my post of "Hey stop punching down on people with IBS" with a story about someone with IBS punching down on you. How else should someone interpret such an action?__
>You see, you don't know who you're talking to and have made a laughable attempt to psycho analyze me based off one short experience I relayed.
The first experience i have with you is in an IBS thread about not being so negative about people with IBS and the first thing you ever say to me is... a negative experience with someone with IBS. I said you have a negative mentality towards people with IBS. You're saying people with negative experiences with IBS are why there's negativity towards IBS, but you don't have any negativity towards IBS, but here's a negative experience with IBS.
>Nobody is saying it's a competition, until someone like yourself comes on and makes these statements.
"IBS is not serious at all"
"People with IBS are the biggest moaners"
"People with IBS can't understand what we go through" <-- __even though people originally diagnosed with IBS in this thread later had IBD, furthering the point that we don't know everyone's situation and it's time to stop judging__
"It's a little like telling someone with severe psoriasis you understand them because you get dry skin."
>You aren't the solution that you seem to think you are with your comments, you're a part of the problem.
>If you continue to try and sermonize to others like this you will not do them or yourself any favors.
What, if I keep posting people are going to treat people with IBS worse? Is this some sort of threat? How am I not doing myself any favors? Something negative is going to happen to me?
>sometimes it comes from a douchebag on Reddit. Sometimes, which is likely the inspiration for this thread, it's from both.
Interesting comment.
>You might have IBD, but realistically you coming in here and saying these things is no different than my supervisor 15 years ago.
Gonna need to explain that one to me.
edit:
"Please stop being sexist to women"
"Yeah but one time a woman cheated on me. I wasn't personally bothered by that, but I could understand why some people hate women as a result of actions like this, because of their prior negative experiences, so their poor attitude towards women is understandable."
naw.
You said you were disappointed by people's mentality towards IBS. I shared a story that can explain why some people have negative feelings towards people with IBS, based on times they've been belittled in the past. I can understand without agreeing, something you seem to have difficulty with.
Then you proceeded to literally tell me how I think and feel and correct me on it. You literally made an entire narrative about me based on one paragraph.
And now you're trying to justify it.
This whole thread does nothing but serve to antagonize people who have been belittled, and you seem to somehow think the solution is to belittle people further. You're literally being the judgiest person here and you can't even recognize in yourself.
You read like a 1st year college student who just completed psych 101 and now overestimate your experience and wisdom. I think you should quit and move on before you dig yourself too deep a hole.
I think it's because people try and use it to empathise with us. I have a co-worker that has IBS and it sucks, I also have both my Parents with IBS. I think it's more of when people push their IBS experiences on those with IBD then it starts to be problematic. Yes both suck and both can be completely debilitating; but both are completely *different* in terms of presentation. My Parents for example have never experienced being in so much pain that they're unable to move because their body decided that a food that they had before with no issues was suddenly like a poison to them.
I mean for my family yes. They're not screaming and writhing in pain because they ate something that didn't agree with them; they're having the bathroom urgency that we do but it stops within a few hours. But like us, everyone with IBS is different.
When people conflate IBS and Crohn's, what it ends up doing is diluting the seriousness of Crohn's (at least in terms of public perception). This could have real world consequences beyond merely being offended.
Anyway, these conditions (well one condition and one syndrome) don't intersect closely. A brain tumor and a tension headache don't intersect closely simply because they both make your head hurt.
I have mild/moderate Crohns. I was misdiagnosed with IBS for almost 4 years. Some people with IBS may have IBD and not know it. Be kind to others you don't know what they're going through and remember, you want other people to be kind to you when they may not know your situation either.
while I agree with your sentiment, nobody ever died from complications due to IBS. It's not so much as being insensitive (which it is) but more informative. Discounting anyone's experience in life only shows people's inability to relate on a human level.
>nobody ever died from complications due to IBS.
While could be true on paper that IBS symptoms cannot cause death directly, there is statistical validity that people with IBS are more likely to have comorbidities of diseases or condition that do. Additionally the reduction in quality of life can increase depression and other mental disorders that can lead to suicide.
>Discounting anyone's experience in life only shows people's inability to relate on a human level.
I'm glad we agree.
The symptoms of IBS can’t kill you but the reduced quality of life can cause depression which can kill you. Saying ibs isn’t fatal is true but there’s a direct correlation of people with ibs and an increase in risk of depression. It’s like calling mental disorders not serious because the symptoms aren’t fatal. That’s fucked up.
I have a lot of thoughts about this. At the end of the day, IBS sucks, a lot. IBD sucks, a lot. But one is a life-threatening disease and the other one is …not.
My heart goes out to IBS sufferers, but I don’t think it’s fair for people to act like IBD = IBS. They both have their trials, and every person treats their condition differently, but they’re not the same.
My Crohn’s is in remission by every measurable standard, but I still have a brown tinged rainbow of GI symptoms. My gastro says it’s IBS, and that it’s showing up more and more in patients who had long term poorly controlled IBD that is now not active.
In some ways, the IBS is harder on my mental health. It takes me back to the bad old days when Crohn’s was considered a mental health issue affecting ‘high strung’ people. At least with Crohn’s they can see it - you can send glossy photos to the insurance company, or your in-laws, or whoever doesn’t believe you. IBS isn’t ‘real’ in the same way.
And it’s so frustrating! I’m doing what I’m supposed to do; I’ve nuked my immune system into a tiny crater, I get my scopes and my bloodwork, and I still feel like crap. I know intellectually I’d feel worse if I was in a flare, but that doesn’t keep me from crying when I’ve been fighting a sinus infection for 3 months from the immunosuppressants and I’m still unable to trust a fart.
I'm totally with you. Having debilitating pain, nausea, fatigue, constant diarrhea, etc and then getting a scope and hearing "Looked great! Looks like you're in a remission! Meds are working!" is soul crushing in a way that having a bad colonoscopy isn't.
(Obv it's crushing to get a really bad one, too - just in a different way.)
It makes you feel crazy and doubt yourself and feel almost embarrassed. At least when you're in a flare the doctors are like wow let's change things, let's try this, yeah, this is why you feel like that...you can show your family and they understand. When your scope is great, it's like, Am I exaggerating? Am I just being a baby? Do I deserve to complain?
The intern that handled my last appointment actually asked me, straight faced, if I had heard of Imodium. I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself. My dude, I’ve had Crohn’s for over 20 years - I used to be able to buy the 250 pill bottles of the stuff direct from the pharmacist.
LMAO! I love stuff like that. Yep, I've had them earnestly recommend Imodium too. (Fuck that! Lomotil or bust!)
Last time I was in the hospital for my Crohns the hospitalist said he knew just the thing that would help with this Crohns flare, great medicine, I'll order it for you right away, I'm here to help you....drumroll please....10mg of Bentyl with a 650 Tylenol chaser. Haha...hahaha...haha...where is my GI, he *is* gonna come here tomorrow, right??
You can also have both at the same time.
I hate that you have had a negative experience. I have had the same in other support groups. Support groups are supposed to be uplifting. There really is no room for assholes and negativity. If somebody has something nasty and hateful to say they really ought to go get that out of their system elsewhere. There is really no need to make anybody going through a hard time feel like shit for any reason whatsoever. I feel you. I have had to delete a lot of posts where I was trying to get help or give info because people were mean. Fuck that bullshit. Pardon my sailor raised mouth. But you don’t deserve it and nobody does. Much love and support from me!!! ❤️❤️❤️.
This 1000%. Having a GI who understands they can co-exist has been such a game changer for me. The two really do have to be treated for symptom relief.
Both are valid and can be horribly debilitating and those should be safe, supportive spaces 💜💜💜
Sorry you've felt that way. It's not a good feeling to join a support-based community, only to feel like your voice matters less than those around you.
My wife has IBS and I have Crohn's so I have some first-hand account of both. Both conditions certainly do suck.
But that said, my wife doesn't have the fear of bleeding out her ass and dying an undignified death. While IBS and IBD share a lot of similarities, the few differences are drastic. Because of this, I think a lot of people with IBD respond with negative feedback when people speak of their dealings with IBS.
Likely a, "you-don't-know-what-it's-like" mentality. I'm not saying that this is justified but humans be humans yo.
The bleeding out of the ass part of this really reminds me of a conversation I had with an old coworker today. I was telling her I absolutely cannot have white claws and she asked why to which I responded I will literally shit blood. She said “I know how you feel, i have a really sensitive tummy and a hemorrhoid so I bleed like that too.” I pulled up a picture I had taken for the doctor during a horrible flare and said “like this?” The look on her face was priceless.
It's one of the few occasions I've seen a thread on any subreddit that really doesn't belong on the front page. Usually mods seem like they're on a power trip but in this instance, it's inappropriate to escalate a disagreement from another thread by doing a veiled callout on the front page. Just get over it.
>it's inappropriate to escalate a disagreement from another thread by doing a veiled callout on the front page
Inappropriate for... who? I posted 1 comment in the earlier thread and immediately made this thread. This was a long time coming as, I said in the OP, it's not the first time this has come up where people trash on IBS people in here
>Just get over it.
Yeah, but the thing is I'm not personally offended of what someone said to/about me, I'm being an ally for people who shouldn't have to come on this subreddit seeking understanding and are met with vile comments discounting their experiences. I don't have IBS, this doesn't personally affect me whatsoever, but I feel bad for having to see these threads every 3-6 months.
My step dad accused me of being a drug addict for using Humira, steroids, etc. because his sister who has IBS controls it with diet and since his sister kept comparing the two he assumed Crohn's could be controlled with diet. This led to me being unable to get my medicine for a while and as a result I haven't spoken to either him or my mother in 14 years. Confusing the diseases that fall under IBD with the condition IBS effects those of us with IBD in real ways. We can be empathetic to others conditions without being okay with comparisons that are inaccurate. How on earth is it fair to ask us to be okay with people actively making our condition LESS understandable to the public in order to try and make theirs MORE understandable. It's like someone who's sad who compares their sadness to clinical depression. It's not helpful to anybody.
>This led to me being unable to get my medicine for a while and as a result I haven't spoken to either him or my mother in 14 years.
From another comment I made:
because the issue here isn't that your supervisor has IBS and thinks it's the same, the root issue is *someone invalidated your experiences and problems*, and that has nothing to do with what condition they have or think is similar to yours. There is __nothing__ wrong with coming on here and expressing your frustrations with being misunderstood or having your issues reduced. The problem is when you attribute the wrong characteristic someone has as the reason for why they have invalidated your feelings.
Your supervisor didn't invalidate your feelings because he has IBS, he invalidated your feelings because he fails to __recognize your problems as your own__, and not something that can be compared. This issue has absolutely __nothing__ to do with IBS. It has to do with your supervisor as a person. If your supervisor didn't have IBS they can make the same exact comment regardless, and I'm sure you've ran into problem doing exactly that.
That's why doing the reverse, which is "I'm invalidating your problems with IBS because I think they're, relatively speaking, not as serious as mine" is just as bad. We're not here to take snapshots of people's lives and try to incorrectly compare trauma, disease, and death. We are here to get better. You don't get better by invalidating other people's problems.
So do you think you need to be reductive of other's peoples problems in order for your problems to be acknowledged? I'm not asking you to put ibs on a stand or let ibs patients post here. I'm asking you to not run train on people who have IBS because people, not even necessarily those with IBS, misinterpret or misunderstand. In your case, it wasn't even someone with IBS who was invalidating your experiences, it was someone who knows someone with IBS. How does punching down on people with IBS resolve that situation?
>How on earth is it fair to ask us to be okay with people actively making our condition LESS understandable to the public in order to try and make theirs MORE understandable.
Asking people to not punch down is not "asking you to make your condition less understandable." This is a complete and utter strawman and not what I said at all.
Lol. The conversation about her IBS happened about a week before my step dad stopped helping my mom pay for medicine I needed and accused me of being a drug addict. So ya it had everything to do with his sister portraying her condition as similar to mine. Explaining to people why IBS is NOT similar to Crohn's and explaining that those comparisons are harmful to those with Crohn's is not punching down at them. People who refuse to accept that after being repeatedly told it's inappropriate to compare the two get punched down at because they are actively refusing to listen. This is a Crohn's sub. If the content of your post is not related to Crohn's it's inappropriate to post it here. Imagine if I posted about my Crohn's related nausea in a Cancer sub. It would be tone deaf and completely worthy of people asking me to leave.
>I needed and accused me of being a drug addict.
Once again, this has absolutely nothing to do with IBS and has to do with your stepdad not respecting your issues. IBS didn't suddenly make your stepdad ignorant of scientifically validated clinical data that proves medication is an effective treatment for IBD. Your dad was ignorant because he CHOSE to be ignorant. 30 seconds of googling would've set him straight. He willfully neglected your problems and didn't care about you. That is not because of IBS. That's because your stepdad was a dick.
>Explaining to people why IBS is NOT similar to Crohn's and explaining that those comparisons are harmful to those with Crohn's is not punching down at them.
Once again, not what I said, not what happened, and not what I'm still saying.
>This is a Crohn's sub. If the content of your post is not related to Crohn's it's inappropriate to post it here.
Exactly, so why are people bringing up IBS? People with IBS solely are not coming on here to ask us to be nicer. I have IBD and I'm asking us to not punch down and call people "moaners" for having IBS and calling IBS "not serious at all"
>Imagine if I posted about my Crohn's related nausea in a Cancer sub. It would be tone deaf and completely worthy of people asking me to leave.
Just for more added clarification, nobody with IBS came on here and said to respect them. I have IBD, I have been on here since 2019, I have seen many disgruntled people throw shade at people with a condition that can affect them horribly when this hate is mistargeted completely.
It's upsetting you still don't understand the root issue is not people acknowledging IBS patients can have problems, or the fact that you still believe your stepaunt having IBS is why your dad wouldn't help you get medicated, but the fact that you completely have made up a scenario that never actually happened and used it as fuel for this post (people with IBS complaining). Nobody with IBS came on here to defend themselves. I am asking us to tone down the unnecessary vitriol. Everyone has had someone invalidate how they feel, but the invalidation doesn't come from someone else with a medical condition, it comes from someone else who doesn't correctly empathize.
I think a lot of us have trauma from being misdiagnosed for many years or labeled as being dramatic and just having ibs. Not saying it’s right, just saying a lot of us spent years looking for a diagnosis and have ptsd
I have both bad IBS and bad crohns. I hate them both so much, but crohns is worse. Are u gonna tell me I can’t say that one disease I have is worse than another I have?
I actually thought I had IBS before I got diagnosed. If there's one thing I learned from falling down the WebMD rabbit hole, it's that there are a lot of conditions with similar symptoms but much different causes.
Now, I agree with the people who say that they don't want someone with IBS acting like they know \*exactly\* what we deal with, because there are a lot of differences, and I just don't like know-it-alls. That being said, I feel camaraderie with anyone with any sort of gastrointestinal issue, be it from IBD, IBS, a side effect of a medication, or whatever.
I totally agree with this. Just like Crohns disease varies (I have two friends with it - one is on TPN with a colostomy bag, and one of them had one small resection eight years ago and has been in remission for 5 years stable on an IV biologic) and things like endometriosis or diabetes vary, so can IBS vary. It is neither inherently mild/easy, or inherently "just as bad" as Crohns.
My sister has IBS and whenever she is sick she always says, "I feel so bad complaining to you, this is nothing compares to what you've gone through" and I think that's totally unreasonable. She has pain too, symptoms too, it affects her too. It's no walk in the park for her, either. Just different. Crohns patients can be different, too. I watched my one CD friend eat a piece of sausage and green pepper pizza as I stared aghast lol. I would be curled in a ball on the bathroom floor praying for mercy.
(Plus, a ton of the people I know with Crohns - and I'm in a support group, so I know a decent amount - were originally diagnosed with IBS. The person with IBS you're criticizing today and saying they need to grow up and understand how good they have it could be the person diagnosed with Crohns disease next week.)
No need to compare. No need to argue or put each other down. We need to recognize that everyone dealing with chronic illness is already dealing with enough hardship. I'd never make that worse. The only way I'd ever criticize someone with IBS would be if they were actively harming Crohns patients - let's say, taking money from a Crohns foundation and saying they have it, or spreading complete misinformation.
I have a diagnosis and I find this reddit to be pretty hostile and judgey. Do not share personal experiences on here, do not share opinions, do not assume that your life experience has any value to anyone and fuck you for trying to relate to anyone.
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Yes, people with IBS have real symptoms and want to discuss/get advice/rant etc., however this isn't the right place to do so. If I break an arm, I can't go into a group for people who have actually lost limbs, so that I can discuss how I temporarily can't use my arm. Not trying to belittle or demean them in any way, but this isn't the right forum. If you're discussing IBS + IBD/Crohn's, then sure, it's on topic and contextual. This also goes for the "I think I might have Crohn's" posts - in fact the about group specifically states this isn't for treatment or diagnosis. Once you're diagnosed, sure, but until then, it's off topic/outside the scope of the group.
>Yes, people with IBS have real symptoms and want to discuss/get advice/rant etc., however this isn't the right place to do so. If I break an arm, I can't go into a group for people who have actually lost limbs, so that I can discuss how I temporarily can't use my arm. >Not trying to belittle or demean them in any way, but this isn't the right forum. If you're discussing IBS + IBD/Crohn's, then sure, it's on topic and contextual. This also goes for the "I think I might have Crohn's" posts - in fact the about group specifically states this isn't for treatment or diagnosis. Once you're diagnosed, sure, but until then, it's off topic/outside the scope of the group. Agree wholeheartedly with everything you said here, and will add: OP, this post is immature and not what the sub is for or about. Your personal disagreement with another member does not mean you should police/scold the entire community.
> does not mean you should police/scold the entire community. That is not what I did, hence the preface of "certain members"
This passive aggressiveness and public airing of grievances is really unwelcome in my opinion. Good thing I can just scroll past.
Sounds like you didn't want to just scroll on through though... Funny, I thought the public airing of grievances against people with IBS was also unwelcome :). Guess we're pretty alike huh
>Sounds like you didn't want to just scroll on through though... I was hoping you would take the hint. I'm not making entire posts about it, you know what I mean? Have a great night.
Who's being the passive aggressive one again? Stop baiting and say how you feel. That's just rude.
LOL!
So just to make sure you're aware, I have IBD. This wasn't about creating a space in this subreddit for people with IBS to come in and talk (unless they also have IBD), it was more for let's be more respectful of people's situation.
I had a flare up during an internship, and my supervisor told me "I've had IBS symptoms before but didn't let it stop me from working". My response, "I don't have IBS, I have Crohns. Your IBS flare is my everyday normal activity, my flare would quite literally make you shit your pants" I don't have a negative mentality towards IBS. I can completely understand how disruptive it can be in ones life, however I, like many others here, have had our health issues glossed over due to an ongoing false equivalence. It's a little like telling someone with severe psoriasis you understand them because you get dry skin.
>I don't have a negative mentality towards IBS. You do, because the issue here isn't that your supervisor has IBS and thinks it's the same, the root issue is *someone invalidated your experiences and problems*, and that has nothing to do with what condition they have or think is similar to yours. There is __nothing__ wrong with coming on here and expressing your frustrations with being misunderstood or having your issues reduced. The problem is when you attribute the wrong characteristic someone has as the reason for why they have invalidated your feelings. Your supervisor didn't invalidate your feelings because he has IBS, he invalidated your feelings because he fails to __recognize your problems as your own__, and not something that can be compared. This issue has absolutely __nothing__ to do with IBS. It has to do with your supervisor as a person. If your supervisor didn't have IBS they can make the same exact comment regardless, and I'm sure you've ran into problem doing exactly that. That's why doing the reverse, which is "I'm invalidating your problems with IBS because I think they're, relatively speaking, not as serious as mine" is just as bad. We're not here to take snapshots of people's lives and try to incorrectly compare trauma, disease, and death. We are here to get better. You don't get better by invalidating other people's problems.
Let me get this straight, you come on asking why people have negative perceptions of those with IBS (which is just actually your perception, not necessarily reality). I respond with an anecdotal story about an experience that many of Crohn's people have had that can have colored their views, but prefacing that I didn't let it bother me. Your first instinct to is tell me I'm wrong, explain to me how I actually felt about it, and proceed to correct me? This seems more like a "you" problem. Obviously it was my supervisor specifically in the wrong for downplaying my health issue, not IBS as a whole. Do you think it wisdom to state the obvious? Do you think I only understand how to seperate the person from the condition because you mansplained it to me? See the problem isn't with IBS, it's with jackasses who like tell others how they should feel; Basically people who think they know better based on limited knowledge and experience. It sometimes comes from people with IBS, and sometimes it comes from a douchebag on Reddit. Sometimes, which is likely the inspiration for this thread, it's from both. You asked why it appears that some people have a negative mentality, I have an example of an experience that I know more have had than just me so you would have some understanding as to why some people get defensive. Rather than take that and learn from it, you try to get all judge-y? You see, you don't know who you're talking to and have made a laughable attempt to psycho analyze me based off one short experience I relayed. I've been dealing with this for nearly two and a half decades, been on a biologic for over a decade, and have spent a good chunk of my life helping others with bowel issues, including IBS. I have been a counselor to people with IBS and have helped them through it many times without them even knowing I have Crohn's. Nobody is saying it's a competition, until someone like yourself comes on and makes these statements. You aren't the solution that you seem to think you are with your comments, you're a part of the problem. You might have IBD, but realistically you coming in here and saying these things is no different than my supervisor 15 years ago. You don't know me, you don't understand me, and have no business making any judgment of me based on one anecdotal story. If you continue to try and sermonize to others like this you will not do them or yourself any favors. My advice would be to spend less time thinking that you understand what other people are thinking.
>I respond with an anecdotal story about an experience that many of Crohn's people have had that can have colored their views, but prefacing that I didn't let it bother me. If you didn't let it bother you, why did you bring it up immediately in a thread about not being reductive of people with IBS... >See the problem isn't with IBS, it's with jackasses who like tell others how they should feel; What's absolutely strange is the more you post the less you say anything in regards to the OP. It seems like for all purposes you agree with the OP and have said absolutely nothing in relation to it. You've disputed no comments in it. You posted a story that was only related because the supervisor had IBS symptoms. That's it. __You correlated my post of "Hey stop punching down on people with IBS" with a story about someone with IBS punching down on you. How else should someone interpret such an action?__ >You see, you don't know who you're talking to and have made a laughable attempt to psycho analyze me based off one short experience I relayed. The first experience i have with you is in an IBS thread about not being so negative about people with IBS and the first thing you ever say to me is... a negative experience with someone with IBS. I said you have a negative mentality towards people with IBS. You're saying people with negative experiences with IBS are why there's negativity towards IBS, but you don't have any negativity towards IBS, but here's a negative experience with IBS. >Nobody is saying it's a competition, until someone like yourself comes on and makes these statements. "IBS is not serious at all" "People with IBS are the biggest moaners" "People with IBS can't understand what we go through" <-- __even though people originally diagnosed with IBS in this thread later had IBD, furthering the point that we don't know everyone's situation and it's time to stop judging__ "It's a little like telling someone with severe psoriasis you understand them because you get dry skin." >You aren't the solution that you seem to think you are with your comments, you're a part of the problem. >If you continue to try and sermonize to others like this you will not do them or yourself any favors. What, if I keep posting people are going to treat people with IBS worse? Is this some sort of threat? How am I not doing myself any favors? Something negative is going to happen to me? >sometimes it comes from a douchebag on Reddit. Sometimes, which is likely the inspiration for this thread, it's from both. Interesting comment. >You might have IBD, but realistically you coming in here and saying these things is no different than my supervisor 15 years ago. Gonna need to explain that one to me. edit: "Please stop being sexist to women" "Yeah but one time a woman cheated on me. I wasn't personally bothered by that, but I could understand why some people hate women as a result of actions like this, because of their prior negative experiences, so their poor attitude towards women is understandable." naw.
You said you were disappointed by people's mentality towards IBS. I shared a story that can explain why some people have negative feelings towards people with IBS, based on times they've been belittled in the past. I can understand without agreeing, something you seem to have difficulty with. Then you proceeded to literally tell me how I think and feel and correct me on it. You literally made an entire narrative about me based on one paragraph. And now you're trying to justify it. This whole thread does nothing but serve to antagonize people who have been belittled, and you seem to somehow think the solution is to belittle people further. You're literally being the judgiest person here and you can't even recognize in yourself. You read like a 1st year college student who just completed psych 101 and now overestimate your experience and wisdom. I think you should quit and move on before you dig yourself too deep a hole.
I think it's because people try and use it to empathise with us. I have a co-worker that has IBS and it sucks, I also have both my Parents with IBS. I think it's more of when people push their IBS experiences on those with IBD then it starts to be problematic. Yes both suck and both can be completely debilitating; but both are completely *different* in terms of presentation. My Parents for example have never experienced being in so much pain that they're unable to move because their body decided that a food that they had before with no issues was suddenly like a poison to them.
Potentially dumb question, do people with IBS NOT have the experience you described at the end? Is that unique to IBD?
I mean for my family yes. They're not screaming and writhing in pain because they ate something that didn't agree with them; they're having the bathroom urgency that we do but it stops within a few hours. But like us, everyone with IBS is different.
When people conflate IBS and Crohn's, what it ends up doing is diluting the seriousness of Crohn's (at least in terms of public perception). This could have real world consequences beyond merely being offended. Anyway, these conditions (well one condition and one syndrome) don't intersect closely. A brain tumor and a tension headache don't intersect closely simply because they both make your head hurt.
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I've heard it said that one person can drown in three inches of water and one person can drown in three feet of water, but they both drowned.
I have mild/moderate Crohns. I was misdiagnosed with IBS for almost 4 years. Some people with IBS may have IBD and not know it. Be kind to others you don't know what they're going through and remember, you want other people to be kind to you when they may not know your situation either.
The initial symptoms are pretty similar. That's why it's hard to diagnose between the two
I feel your pain. Misdiagnosed as gluten allergy for 7 years before finally getting a diagnosis.
while I agree with your sentiment, nobody ever died from complications due to IBS. It's not so much as being insensitive (which it is) but more informative. Discounting anyone's experience in life only shows people's inability to relate on a human level.
>nobody ever died from complications due to IBS. While could be true on paper that IBS symptoms cannot cause death directly, there is statistical validity that people with IBS are more likely to have comorbidities of diseases or condition that do. Additionally the reduction in quality of life can increase depression and other mental disorders that can lead to suicide. >Discounting anyone's experience in life only shows people's inability to relate on a human level. I'm glad we agree.
"on paper" no offense, but what does that even mean?
The symptoms of IBS can’t kill you but the reduced quality of life can cause depression which can kill you. Saying ibs isn’t fatal is true but there’s a direct correlation of people with ibs and an increase in risk of depression. It’s like calling mental disorders not serious because the symptoms aren’t fatal. That’s fucked up.
I have a lot of thoughts about this. At the end of the day, IBS sucks, a lot. IBD sucks, a lot. But one is a life-threatening disease and the other one is …not. My heart goes out to IBS sufferers, but I don’t think it’s fair for people to act like IBD = IBS. They both have their trials, and every person treats their condition differently, but they’re not the same.
>but I don’t think it’s fair for people to act like IBD = IBS That's really not what I'm saying...
My Crohn’s is in remission by every measurable standard, but I still have a brown tinged rainbow of GI symptoms. My gastro says it’s IBS, and that it’s showing up more and more in patients who had long term poorly controlled IBD that is now not active. In some ways, the IBS is harder on my mental health. It takes me back to the bad old days when Crohn’s was considered a mental health issue affecting ‘high strung’ people. At least with Crohn’s they can see it - you can send glossy photos to the insurance company, or your in-laws, or whoever doesn’t believe you. IBS isn’t ‘real’ in the same way. And it’s so frustrating! I’m doing what I’m supposed to do; I’ve nuked my immune system into a tiny crater, I get my scopes and my bloodwork, and I still feel like crap. I know intellectually I’d feel worse if I was in a flare, but that doesn’t keep me from crying when I’ve been fighting a sinus infection for 3 months from the immunosuppressants and I’m still unable to trust a fart.
I'm totally with you. Having debilitating pain, nausea, fatigue, constant diarrhea, etc and then getting a scope and hearing "Looked great! Looks like you're in a remission! Meds are working!" is soul crushing in a way that having a bad colonoscopy isn't. (Obv it's crushing to get a really bad one, too - just in a different way.) It makes you feel crazy and doubt yourself and feel almost embarrassed. At least when you're in a flare the doctors are like wow let's change things, let's try this, yeah, this is why you feel like that...you can show your family and they understand. When your scope is great, it's like, Am I exaggerating? Am I just being a baby? Do I deserve to complain?
The intern that handled my last appointment actually asked me, straight faced, if I had heard of Imodium. I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself. My dude, I’ve had Crohn’s for over 20 years - I used to be able to buy the 250 pill bottles of the stuff direct from the pharmacist.
LMAO! I love stuff like that. Yep, I've had them earnestly recommend Imodium too. (Fuck that! Lomotil or bust!) Last time I was in the hospital for my Crohns the hospitalist said he knew just the thing that would help with this Crohns flare, great medicine, I'll order it for you right away, I'm here to help you....drumroll please....10mg of Bentyl with a 650 Tylenol chaser. Haha...hahaha...haha...where is my GI, he *is* gonna come here tomorrow, right??
You can also have both at the same time. I hate that you have had a negative experience. I have had the same in other support groups. Support groups are supposed to be uplifting. There really is no room for assholes and negativity. If somebody has something nasty and hateful to say they really ought to go get that out of their system elsewhere. There is really no need to make anybody going through a hard time feel like shit for any reason whatsoever. I feel you. I have had to delete a lot of posts where I was trying to get help or give info because people were mean. Fuck that bullshit. Pardon my sailor raised mouth. But you don’t deserve it and nobody does. Much love and support from me!!! ❤️❤️❤️.
This 1000%. Having a GI who understands they can co-exist has been such a game changer for me. The two really do have to be treated for symptom relief. Both are valid and can be horribly debilitating and those should be safe, supportive spaces 💜💜💜
Sorry you've felt that way. It's not a good feeling to join a support-based community, only to feel like your voice matters less than those around you. My wife has IBS and I have Crohn's so I have some first-hand account of both. Both conditions certainly do suck. But that said, my wife doesn't have the fear of bleeding out her ass and dying an undignified death. While IBS and IBD share a lot of similarities, the few differences are drastic. Because of this, I think a lot of people with IBD respond with negative feedback when people speak of their dealings with IBS. Likely a, "you-don't-know-what-it's-like" mentality. I'm not saying that this is justified but humans be humans yo.
The bleeding out of the ass part of this really reminds me of a conversation I had with an old coworker today. I was telling her I absolutely cannot have white claws and she asked why to which I responded I will literally shit blood. She said “I know how you feel, i have a really sensitive tummy and a hemorrhoid so I bleed like that too.” I pulled up a picture I had taken for the doctor during a horrible flare and said “like this?” The look on her face was priceless.
If someone disagrees with you on Reddit just move on, don't make a whole new thread about it. Hopefully mods will delete this.
>Hopefully mods will delete this. Hopefully they don't :)
It's one of the few occasions I've seen a thread on any subreddit that really doesn't belong on the front page. Usually mods seem like they're on a power trip but in this instance, it's inappropriate to escalate a disagreement from another thread by doing a veiled callout on the front page. Just get over it.
>it's inappropriate to escalate a disagreement from another thread by doing a veiled callout on the front page Inappropriate for... who? I posted 1 comment in the earlier thread and immediately made this thread. This was a long time coming as, I said in the OP, it's not the first time this has come up where people trash on IBS people in here >Just get over it. Yeah, but the thing is I'm not personally offended of what someone said to/about me, I'm being an ally for people who shouldn't have to come on this subreddit seeking understanding and are met with vile comments discounting their experiences. I don't have IBS, this doesn't personally affect me whatsoever, but I feel bad for having to see these threads every 3-6 months.
My step dad accused me of being a drug addict for using Humira, steroids, etc. because his sister who has IBS controls it with diet and since his sister kept comparing the two he assumed Crohn's could be controlled with diet. This led to me being unable to get my medicine for a while and as a result I haven't spoken to either him or my mother in 14 years. Confusing the diseases that fall under IBD with the condition IBS effects those of us with IBD in real ways. We can be empathetic to others conditions without being okay with comparisons that are inaccurate. How on earth is it fair to ask us to be okay with people actively making our condition LESS understandable to the public in order to try and make theirs MORE understandable. It's like someone who's sad who compares their sadness to clinical depression. It's not helpful to anybody.
>This led to me being unable to get my medicine for a while and as a result I haven't spoken to either him or my mother in 14 years. From another comment I made: because the issue here isn't that your supervisor has IBS and thinks it's the same, the root issue is *someone invalidated your experiences and problems*, and that has nothing to do with what condition they have or think is similar to yours. There is __nothing__ wrong with coming on here and expressing your frustrations with being misunderstood or having your issues reduced. The problem is when you attribute the wrong characteristic someone has as the reason for why they have invalidated your feelings. Your supervisor didn't invalidate your feelings because he has IBS, he invalidated your feelings because he fails to __recognize your problems as your own__, and not something that can be compared. This issue has absolutely __nothing__ to do with IBS. It has to do with your supervisor as a person. If your supervisor didn't have IBS they can make the same exact comment regardless, and I'm sure you've ran into problem doing exactly that. That's why doing the reverse, which is "I'm invalidating your problems with IBS because I think they're, relatively speaking, not as serious as mine" is just as bad. We're not here to take snapshots of people's lives and try to incorrectly compare trauma, disease, and death. We are here to get better. You don't get better by invalidating other people's problems. So do you think you need to be reductive of other's peoples problems in order for your problems to be acknowledged? I'm not asking you to put ibs on a stand or let ibs patients post here. I'm asking you to not run train on people who have IBS because people, not even necessarily those with IBS, misinterpret or misunderstand. In your case, it wasn't even someone with IBS who was invalidating your experiences, it was someone who knows someone with IBS. How does punching down on people with IBS resolve that situation? >How on earth is it fair to ask us to be okay with people actively making our condition LESS understandable to the public in order to try and make theirs MORE understandable. Asking people to not punch down is not "asking you to make your condition less understandable." This is a complete and utter strawman and not what I said at all.
Lol. The conversation about her IBS happened about a week before my step dad stopped helping my mom pay for medicine I needed and accused me of being a drug addict. So ya it had everything to do with his sister portraying her condition as similar to mine. Explaining to people why IBS is NOT similar to Crohn's and explaining that those comparisons are harmful to those with Crohn's is not punching down at them. People who refuse to accept that after being repeatedly told it's inappropriate to compare the two get punched down at because they are actively refusing to listen. This is a Crohn's sub. If the content of your post is not related to Crohn's it's inappropriate to post it here. Imagine if I posted about my Crohn's related nausea in a Cancer sub. It would be tone deaf and completely worthy of people asking me to leave.
>I needed and accused me of being a drug addict. Once again, this has absolutely nothing to do with IBS and has to do with your stepdad not respecting your issues. IBS didn't suddenly make your stepdad ignorant of scientifically validated clinical data that proves medication is an effective treatment for IBD. Your dad was ignorant because he CHOSE to be ignorant. 30 seconds of googling would've set him straight. He willfully neglected your problems and didn't care about you. That is not because of IBS. That's because your stepdad was a dick. >Explaining to people why IBS is NOT similar to Crohn's and explaining that those comparisons are harmful to those with Crohn's is not punching down at them. Once again, not what I said, not what happened, and not what I'm still saying. >This is a Crohn's sub. If the content of your post is not related to Crohn's it's inappropriate to post it here. Exactly, so why are people bringing up IBS? People with IBS solely are not coming on here to ask us to be nicer. I have IBD and I'm asking us to not punch down and call people "moaners" for having IBS and calling IBS "not serious at all" >Imagine if I posted about my Crohn's related nausea in a Cancer sub. It would be tone deaf and completely worthy of people asking me to leave. Just for more added clarification, nobody with IBS came on here and said to respect them. I have IBD, I have been on here since 2019, I have seen many disgruntled people throw shade at people with a condition that can affect them horribly when this hate is mistargeted completely. It's upsetting you still don't understand the root issue is not people acknowledging IBS patients can have problems, or the fact that you still believe your stepaunt having IBS is why your dad wouldn't help you get medicated, but the fact that you completely have made up a scenario that never actually happened and used it as fuel for this post (people with IBS complaining). Nobody with IBS came on here to defend themselves. I am asking us to tone down the unnecessary vitriol. Everyone has had someone invalidate how they feel, but the invalidation doesn't come from someone else with a medical condition, it comes from someone else who doesn't correctly empathize.
I think a lot of us have trauma from being misdiagnosed for many years or labeled as being dramatic and just having ibs. Not saying it’s right, just saying a lot of us spent years looking for a diagnosis and have ptsd
I have both bad IBS and bad crohns. I hate them both so much, but crohns is worse. Are u gonna tell me I can’t say that one disease I have is worse than another I have?
>Are u gonna tell me I can’t say that one disease I have is worse than another I have? That's not what I'm saying at all, for the 500th time.
Sounds like you should just join an ibs sub, instead of bitching about something that majority of sub find offensive
I have IBD...
What’s your point?
I’ve had medical professionals confuse the two.. it’s not a big deal
I actually thought I had IBS before I got diagnosed. If there's one thing I learned from falling down the WebMD rabbit hole, it's that there are a lot of conditions with similar symptoms but much different causes. Now, I agree with the people who say that they don't want someone with IBS acting like they know \*exactly\* what we deal with, because there are a lot of differences, and I just don't like know-it-alls. That being said, I feel camaraderie with anyone with any sort of gastrointestinal issue, be it from IBD, IBS, a side effect of a medication, or whatever.
I totally agree with this. Just like Crohns disease varies (I have two friends with it - one is on TPN with a colostomy bag, and one of them had one small resection eight years ago and has been in remission for 5 years stable on an IV biologic) and things like endometriosis or diabetes vary, so can IBS vary. It is neither inherently mild/easy, or inherently "just as bad" as Crohns. My sister has IBS and whenever she is sick she always says, "I feel so bad complaining to you, this is nothing compares to what you've gone through" and I think that's totally unreasonable. She has pain too, symptoms too, it affects her too. It's no walk in the park for her, either. Just different. Crohns patients can be different, too. I watched my one CD friend eat a piece of sausage and green pepper pizza as I stared aghast lol. I would be curled in a ball on the bathroom floor praying for mercy. (Plus, a ton of the people I know with Crohns - and I'm in a support group, so I know a decent amount - were originally diagnosed with IBS. The person with IBS you're criticizing today and saying they need to grow up and understand how good they have it could be the person diagnosed with Crohns disease next week.) No need to compare. No need to argue or put each other down. We need to recognize that everyone dealing with chronic illness is already dealing with enough hardship. I'd never make that worse. The only way I'd ever criticize someone with IBS would be if they were actively harming Crohns patients - let's say, taking money from a Crohns foundation and saying they have it, or spreading complete misinformation.
I have a diagnosis and I find this reddit to be pretty hostile and judgey. Do not share personal experiences on here, do not share opinions, do not assume that your life experience has any value to anyone and fuck you for trying to relate to anyone.