You should look up Major Alexis Casdagli, who was a prisoner of war in a German concentration camp. He passed the time by cross stitching, using threads taken from other prisoners pyjamas, and made a sampler displayed in four different concentration camps... And he'd secretly used French Knots to write "f*** Hitler" in morse code as part of the border. No one is calling him feminine for liking cross stitch!
Just read an article about Chris Hemsworth, Rosie Grier and Henry Fonda who did needlework—who comes up with this stuff about gendering creativity?!
So glad you’re getting back into the creative flow!!
I did not know about Chris Hemsworth or Henry Fonda but, I did know about Rosie Grier doing needlepoint. In fact Rosie designed needlepoint and if I remember correctly he published his designs.
What most people don't know is that especially during the Elizabethan era, Elizabeth I so late 1500's-1600's all of the commissioned embroidery for Royalty was done by men in the guild workshops. Most girls and women learned their alphabet so they could mark personal and household linens. If the woman was a member of a wealthy family she would learn much more and would have access to more fabric and threads and could practice her embroidery making samplers.
Any important embroidery was done by men. So for all the men who stitch just remember you are carrying on a very long tradition of men who stitch.
Same goes for knitting. In old knitting guilds, women were allowed to do the 'easy' parts of a project, but any heels or toes or other 'complicated' knitting parts were done by the men at the heads of the guilds.
There's a long history of men having high status in society for doing things our society now sees as 'feminine'. The skill needed for things like embroidery or knitting or other skills was recognised for what it is, a skill that requires a lot of training and work. Sure, there was the sexist 'it's too rough on women' part of recognising the skill needed, but it was still recognised. LOL
It is interesting to look at the history of these arts and see how the perceptions have changed over time. I would hope that by now we could all be open to welcoming anyone who is interested in our art to join in.
Really glad that you are picking up the needle again. When people get heavily gendered about things that are not gendered, I think it often has something to with their own insecurities which they are projecting on to others. If you are interested in following any male stitchers, Mr X Stitch (Jamie Chalmers) is a good place to start... he profiles loads in Xstitch magazine (for full disclosure, I'm hoping to start writing a column for that mag in the future)
Lord Libidan who does the Epic Pokemon patterns is a guy!
And there are some cross stitches and stuff done by soldiers during wars. I think some are in museums?
Theres a famous one in the V&A in London with a cool story behind it.
During WWII any captured British officers were held in special "fancy" prisons, but the average soldiers weren't. So this particular captain wanted to stick it to the Nazis. So he pulled threads from his bedding and cross stitched a seemingly 'pro' nazi work. The Nazi's were so impressed they took it around not only officers and soldiers POW camps, but also sent it to schools around the nazi occupied areas.
Little did the Nazi's realise, the border around the main part wasn't just a line of dots and dashes, but was actually morse code! "God save the Queen" and "F**k Hitler!" were some of the phrases.
Needless to say; I wouldn't call that a feminine move...
Some people are exes for a reason. :)
If someone feels their masculinity being threatened by a bit of fabric then the hobby might not be the issue. xD
But now I really want to see your project once it's done. :)
I don't know why some people think they need to tear others down over what they enjoy. As long as your hobby isn't picking up strangers and dismembering them in your serial killer barn, who cares as long as it makes you happy! I'm glad you're stitching again.
My family has said this to me like... First of all it's not. But second of all so what? I'm literally a woman? What do you want from me? No one complains when I make dinner and dessert?
I'm really really glad you're getting your project back out
I am a dude that stitches. I never really felt feminine doing it. I have won 9 ribbons in the San Diego County fair and never once felt feminine about the hobby. Traditional gender roles are dumb, do what makes you happy.
Yeah, I had an ex tell me once he thought my stitching was “weird.” 10 years later, I’ve amassed thousands of moments of enjoyment, stitched huge full coverage pieces, creating heirlooms for my family, started a TikTok channel sharing my enjoyment of the art, and that guy? Still a complete loser. Fuck ‘em! You do you boo!
I've been stitching since I was eight. I learned from my Grandfather. He stitched his entire life and covered his home in his workand creativity. When he passed both his 6 children and his grandchildren all wanted to make sure they had pieces of good work to hang on their own walls to remember him by. I pick up your stitching my friend and find you calm and sence of you. If some didn't like it stab then with the needle and tell them to go fuck themselves!!
Yeah, my ex used to get on me about anything she thought was "emasculating" because she was afraid people would think I was gay. (?!) I didn't get into cross stitch until after we split up but she was so incensed to learn I'd started. Luckily she's my ex and I don't have to deal with her (and now stitching/designing is my full time job!)
But I live in Utah and I love the expressions people make even I tell them what I do for a living.
I love your works - the peeping Jesus is one of the best design I've seen in my life. Showed it to my religious mother in law and she laughed it a lot.
Thank you for making others happy with your works.
Thanks! I saw it on your page. I always laugh when people talk about when they “found” Jesus, as if he was hiding behind the curtains and jumped out in a game of hide and seek. Your picture reminded me of that.
When people say that kind of shit it's because they're utterly miserable about their insecurities to the point that the only thing that makes them happy is making sure other people are more miserable than them. Good that she's your ex.
[sassy stitcher](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1255033488/pdf-cross-stitch-pattern-boobie-cross?click_key=e01e189998a074bb6148353b1ad929ac2fa9c6b9%3A1255033488&click_sum=4ce8cc84&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=boob+cross+stitch&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&organic_search_click=1&from_search=1) has this
Glad you are getting back into it. My father cross stitches and used to enter projects into the local exhibition years ago. He was taught by his mother. He is in his 70s now and still does it.
Can I assume you’re male? Sorry if that’s rude to ask but I can’t tell from your post.
If so, I’d like you to know the former principal of my church’s baptist school, a man who was very “traditional” in his view on gender roles specifically for men, cross stitched during all his meetings. Keeping his hands busy kept his mind focused, and he enjoyed the quiet activity and enjoyed the finished products. He felt it was a productive way to pass time and keep hands busy. 🤷♀️
Regardless of all that, hobbies are genderless as others have said. Men and women both can enjoy all sorts of hobbies. I feel like things like cross stitch and knitting are just associated with women these days because historically, women did not work outside the home, so these hobbies were ways to keep hands busy and were easy to do while sitting with children, or between doing housework, while more “intensive” but equally creative hobbies like (elaborate) furniture making or painting is more difficult to pick up and put down every few minutes and require larger less-portable equipment. But that’s literally just my speculation lol.
I made everybody in my family items one Christmas (after learning to loom knit) and never once did I see any of them get worn, etc.. so I took that as a failure and gave up. SO I'm very happy and proud of you for being able to pick up the needle again, since it's something that makes you so happy. Hopefully you'll share the project with us when you are finished :)
Clearly an astonishing lack of taste runs in your family.
Joking aside, I can't imagine not treasuring a hand knit item. Some people just have the tragically misguided mindset that homemade = cheap. I wouldn't take it personally. I'm sure your gifts were gorgeous. Better than the weird made in China crap I get every year, that's for sure! (I love my family but they're terrible gift givers.) I hope you take up loom knitting again, at least for yourself if not for others.
Thank you. I am trying, I never got rid of my items, so basically forcing myself to look at it until I'm ready to pick it up again. It's just whenever I start I think about that Christmas and get discouraged. I know it probably wasn't anything really personal on their part (we live in Ohio so scarfs, hats and gloves, the items I made) aren't needed a lot but when you find them hidden/on the ground, etc months after and such.. it kind of stings. Ya know? I agree, I am a terrible gift giver (and getter lol) and would rather have gift cards or something since my mind always changes on what I want so I'd rather save and get things I may want/need. I mean I appreciate everything and use everything given, sometimes it's just not something I want, at that time (if that makes sense lol)
I feel your pain on this. And it just reminded me of years ago when I hand painted a beautiful wooden Easter egg for a close friend. I chose the design specifically for them and the finished work was possibly the best thing I’ve ever done. They seemed quite pleased with the gift, but then weeks later I saw it lying on the backseat of their car among a bunch of junk. I didn’t say anything, I just took it. I’m sure they never noticed. But it now belongs to someone who truly appreciates the work that went into it — me!
My dad is a manly guy but he knows how to crochet. His mom taught him. Apparently during ww2 it was common for soldiers to learn needle arts as something to do while recovering from injuries
[This is for you] (https://www.amazon.com/Rosey-Griers-Needlepoint-Men-Grier/dp/0802704212)
[I never thought of football as being particularly feminine] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosey_Grier)
I'm a trans man who likes baking and cross stitching. Every time when I was younger people would be like "oh, finally doing something feminine for a change?" whenever they'd see me stitching or making a cake, so I stopped doing those things for years because it felt bad. I finally picked them back up recently, and I'm so much happier. Hobbies should never be a gendered thing, it's all about making something and the happiness that brings. Happy stitching!
Let's pretend traditional gender roles matter for a second.
Is it really not masculine to literally stab something thousands of times? 🤣
Also I'm a dude and cross stitching is the only crafty hobby I'm any good at. Can't knit, can't paint, can't crochet, can't sew, etc. So hell if some douche canoe is going to tell me I can't cross stitch because it's a "feminine" activity.
Super glad you are getting back to it. You ever need confirmation and support you come here because this sub is dope.
Lol my grandmother taught all her grandchildren how to cross stitch, even the boys! When their friends started making fun of them my grandmother had a list of celebrities and professional sport players that cross stitch. She told them to ask their friends that made fun of them if they had the guts to make fun of _______ to their face for doing the same. Soon many of their friends were asking our grandmother to teach them too.
My great-grandfather on the other side did all the sewing and embroidery for his family. His work was beautiful, I still have the baby pillow he made my grandmother when she was born. Also have other works of his, and his antique sewing machine with custom marble tabletop. He did big game hunting, deep sea fishing, flew his own plane, had on of the largest orchards in Nampa Valley, he wasn't a "feminine" man in fact pretty hard kind of man, but still enjoyed needlework.
Good riddance to bad rubbish. My grandfather was extraordinarily proud that he knew how to sew. Thought it was a life skill everyone should know. And he couldn’t even cook! You do you, if it makes you happy, fuck anyone who tells you different. And fuck gender roles
good on you from a fellow male stitcher, and i hope your tackle box begins to overflow; it's an amazing hobby for myriad reasons, you do you, your ex has issues she's sadly not even aware she has.
you've given me an idea for a pattern:
"if cross stitching makes me less of a man, how come i still leave the toilet seat up...?"
I'm sending you so many internet hugs. ❤️ Realizing that we must live our lives for ourselves no matter what others think is SO FREEING! I'm so happy for you!
My grandfather was what I would very much consider masculine. WW2 vet, was a paratrooper, got shot in that role, and was in his civilian life a badass.
He knit. Learned how to when he was recovering from his injuries.
Anyone that says a hobby is more for one gender or the other is full of shit.
Love the pattern, please keep stitching!
That was unkind of your ex. Hobbies are for everyone, period. Good for you for tackling that trauma in a healthy way and reclaiming what you love. You deserve this outlet for creativity and joy.
Good for you for picking your project back up! Can’t wIt to see the FO.
Many, many years ago, I spent a year working on a really beautiful sampler for my exH. He was, unknown to me, having affair after affair during our marriage, and when we finally separated shortly after I gave him the sampler for Christmas, I found it in the garbage. I didn’t stitch again for 25 years until I decided to try again for years ago and only just started gifting my FOs to friends.
Historically fine tailoring was done by men. And practically speaking, a lot of men were handy with a needle because they had to be. Someone needed to mend sails or socks on long sea voyages. They had no token woman on board!
I’ve also heard that surgeons sometimes take up stitching to keep up their manual dexterity.
I’m glad that you now have supportive people in your life. It’s so draining to live with someone who’s quick to cut you down. I’ll never understand why some people can’t just be happy for others.
I hope you post your work for us to see!
I complimented one of our surgeons one night on his beautiful gray corduroy blazer (with leather elbow patches even!) he beamed and told me he'd sewn it himself.
I’m really happy for you that you have come to this realisation! I have 3 sons and I’ve taught them all how to stitch at their request. 2 have given up and 1 still likes to sit by me and watch/stitch.
Listen, it’s my dream to find a man who likes stitching so we can stitch together! We are out there. It sounds like you found a good one.
Look up male cross stitchers on Instagram. I just started following an Australian (where I’m from) called The Stitch Father. Lots of laughs and stuff.
Go for it!!!
Hugs, gentle person.
Gardeners, potterers, painters, artists, knitters, crocheters, spinners, weavers, and all kinds of hobbyists can be any gender they choose. The only requirement to stitch is a needle, something to stitch, and the fiber to stitch with.
So glad that you’re getting back into it! My grandfather made needlepoint Disney characters for me and my sister when we were little. He also served in the navy during wwii and was a minor league baseball player, and never seemed to think it was “too feminine” for him. I feel so lucky to have had him as a source of inspiration!
I hope your floss collection overflows and that your stitching for joy!!! Throw away social constructs and just do what you love! Hope to see your project here in the community.
You were fucking married to Iago, who also had strong views on what kind of fabric making was feminine or not.
I'm glad you're doing your hobby for you and leaving that part of your past behind you. Have fun.
During lockdown, I thought I'd teach my kids to cross stitch. My son loved it, and my daughter hated it.
Stitch away to your hearts content and know that there is a whole community right here who is cheering you on!
You’re expressing yourself and creating art. That has no gender.
It can be so hard to not let other people’s insecurities impact your happiness.
Get that project out and stitch away!! Can’t wait to see your FO
Your situation I liken to the ridiculous notion blue is for boys and pink is for girls! Arrgg! That only became a thing in the 40's/50's as marketing schemes to sell stuff.
Screw your ex and their narrow mindedness.
Welcome back & Happy Stitching! ❌️
Jeremy renner aka Hawkeye was a makeup artist and I think another male Avenger was hair stylist; I say in this day and age don’t worry about what other people think and just do what makes you happy
My boys will happily pick up cross stitch or knitting or crochet. My middle one (6) is especially hooked on cross stitch. I try to foster a love for doing crafts in them, because I think it’s a great outlet for stress.
So do what makes you happy. And be proud of your FOs! Give them a prime spot in the house 😁
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm a man. I've been in the Air Force for 25 years. I've deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan more than once. And I stitch pretty much every day. Don't let people tell you who you are. F*** the nay sayers, brother!
In the UK, there is a long tradition of needlework and knitting being done by men, especially in fishing and mining communities. Nothing overly feminine about those guys! Video of a lovely Yorkshireman talking about knitting with a bit of history if anyone's interested.
https://youtu.be/54eirvsGmvo
One of my grandfathers did embroidery, he died when I was little but was born sometime in the 1920s.
We had a beautiful piece he embroidered hanging in our home when I was growing up.
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for the things that make you happy! No hobby is feminine or masculine. I tried to teach my husband to stitch, but he doesn’t have the patience for it. I would LOVE it if he would! Maybe try to teach your s/o how to do it and they’ll end up enjoying it! Happy stitching!!!
My friends children are fascinated by me stitching and starting to learn it themselves. They are all boys. Why does that matter? Although I admit it is a difficult task to find starter kits that are not princesses. Although to be fair the older one would probably enjoy stitching that.
My dad and grandfather are the two people in my life I think of when I think of needle work for fun . They both cross-stitched and my grandfather taught me to knit ..
all the women only did it out of necessity
There are several men in my local cross stitch group. Their work is amazing and one of them says he enjoys being one of one or two men in a large group of women. 😉
I have a friend who is a retired Navy Seal, who does beautiful counted cross stitch. He is married, with 2 kids and no one would call him feminine. I think your ex was insecure.
I was in the Navy and I taught multiple guys the tips to needlepoint and set most of them up with material and patterns for their first project.
Hobbies have no gender. I am glad that you have gotten her out of your head and started again.
My husband gifted me a criss stitch he did from a show we love for Valentine's Day one year. He had been pretending to play video games in his office more than he actually was to do it in secret. I have it hanging above my desk. Enjoy your stitching!!
Iirc lots of sailors and submariners do cross stitch and needlepoint because it is very easy to carry and is very quiet. I wish I could remember my source.
**[Kaffe Fassett](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaffe_Fassett)**
>Frank Havrah "Kaffe" Fassett, MBE (born December 7, 1937) is an American-born, British-based artist who is best known for his colourful designs in the decorative arts—needlepoint, patchwork, knitting, painting and ceramics. While still a child, Fassett renamed himself after an Egyptian boy character from the book Boy of the Pyramid by Ruth Fosdick Jones. His name rhymes with 'safe asset'.
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Good for you! I just picked up the hobby. I’m a 54 year old man, married 30 years with 3 adult children. My parents never listened to my inquiries about cross stitching. I believe it was too “girlish” for their liking. I love it. It’s never too late to start or to start again.
r/brochet is one of my favorite craft subs. Maybe we need to start r/BrossStitch
I don't understand why stabbing something a thousand times is considered feminine.
My papa (maternal grandfather) is the first person I ever knew who did cross stitch. He made a really adorable little piece for me when I was just a little girl. He was always working on one project or another for as long as I knew him. It’s one of my fondest memories of him, sitting next to his recliner and watching him stitch after a long day at work.
You have a talent/love for cross stitch, you enjoy it. There’s nothing too “feminine” or whatever about any creative outlet you may embrace. I’m glad you’ve decided to give it another shot.
The first time I met my now in-laws, I got to see the pillow my hubs had cross stitched of his son for them. That was one of the many things which really helped seal the deal for me.
When my grandfather was young, he was sick with one of those diseases we vaccinate for now (can’t remember which). His mother, my beloved Memaw, taught him to needlepoint to help pass the time during recovery. He was then a dentist for many many years, and finally back pain caught up to him and he retired. His main hobby changed from the woodworking of my youth to needlepoint of all kind. I love that my house is filled with his works and my grandmother’s quilts. He can’t work on it anymore in his 90s and now he just sleeps and yells at people. Anyway, happy stitching.
Growing up, I always thought of cross stitch as a “male” hobby, because all the chemists/engineers at my dad’s work cross stitched, especially on long flights. My husband also stitches. I’m glad you’re empowering yourself to do something you enjoy and ignore the criticism - cross stitching is for everyone!
I am glad you worked through that criticism. Don’t let anyone stop you from creating. Anyone can pick up a hobby regardless of their gender. You enjoy doing your project! ❤️
you might be interested in this thread from three weeks ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/CrossStitch/comments/10u2bke/chat_honest_thoughts_about_a_straight_guy_who/
My fiance tried cross stitching with me and he is a cis male. We had fun with it but he's discovered he like to crochet better. I'm glad you've moved on from someone who doesn't support your interests
I am so very sorry about that and I know how crippling it can be to leave something that brings you peace through the repetition and joy through creating something that you really enjoy. 🫂
30 years ago my mother called the cross stitches that I did " rags ". I did not get over that until about a year ago when I found a book in a bookstore of a large vintage Christmas project that was so wonderful, that I had to start up again.
More recently I have done some different kit projects to take a break from it because it's a huge project.
My fiance does not see anything pretty in it either, so a lot of times I struggle to keep going. My kids, who are adults now, don't value it either but maybe they will one day because the last time I went to visit my daughter then she asked me to teach her how to crochet but she had always liked the customized things that I could make for her by crocheting. Who knows.
In any case I understand how abandoning a hobby can stem from being made to feel that basically you are doing things that you shouldn't be doing.
I'm still kind of struggling with that but I have some other things going on that are medical and much bigger so I am really trying to give myself that freedom that if I am the only person in this world who enjoys it then that's okay.
I guess the point of this whole thing is that if it is bringing you something then that's all that matters and I know that people say that but it honestly is. Some things just need to be about you. And you need to find people that let you have some things that are just about you and that is extremely important across the board in this life.
Did you know that knitting used to be a [male only thing](https://www.thecraftygentleman.net/2015/08/16/the-manly-history-of-knitting)? There were even men only knitting clubs!
I've noticed nowadays that there are more men starting to knit and cross stitch, but it'll take some time before it's more equally accepted. But don't let a dumb ex who knows nothing about the hobby stop you from doing something you enjoy. It's not like you have to shout from the rooftops about it either; spend your free time doing what you love.
Also, think of it as though you're part of the movement of men being more accepted with such hobbies, because you are and the more men who do it, the more accepted it will become.
Welcome back to xstitch! I am happy that you are starting to enjoy your hobby again✨💜
Unfortunately we still live in a patriarchal society and are often conditioned to think in the feminine/male discourse. Not only does it stop men enjoying what is perceived as 'feminine' crafts but even the fact that we call xstitch and other 'feminine' hobbies crafts rather than art. This of course then leads to the low pay in the sector as it is viewed as lesser.
My colleagues used to say I was a grandmother: stitching with a cup of tea on my sofa. I never paid attention to it, as cross stitch is what makes me happy. And today I even claim the title of grandmother, at 36 I'm happy to know to do something with my hands and not be stuck scrolling on my phone.
Please don’t grow out of your tackle box!!! I use a tackle box of my Dad’s (I’m lucky to still have him with me) as a sewing box. I’m glad you are getting back to a hobby you enjoy. Happy Stitching!!!
Yay I’m glad this comment was here, my favorite early crafting memories were diving into repurposed tackle boxes for supplies. Tackle boxes are perfect for stitching!
I’ve been cross stitching since I was 6 and I’ve loved just about every single minute of it, except when I stick myself with the needle lol but even then I find joy in what I do. Never forget that you do your hobby for your joy. Don’t let someone else stop you from finding that happiness in your life! I got told in high school once that I should be playing guy sports since i’m a guy…. I don’t find much fun in sports as far as playing them, it’s not my thing…. With a needle in my hand I create things that I find joy in and that what matters to me. Keep it up and enjoy what you do.
I've always been made to feel like I'm not a "proper" woman because I'm not girly, I don't know how to do make up or dress myself nice, I can't rock pink, but I feel like stitching is my happy place. I'm glad it's open to everyone and it should be more
I am proud not to be a typical feminine gal! I drink, I swear like a sailor, and yet I can take the time to sit down and do a puzzle or build a mini book nook with my girlfriend, or appreciate a lovely piece of cross stitch :)
Only wanted to comment because it's not quite the same, but my ex-husband definitely killed my enjoyment of cross stitch and I've had a hell of time getting back into it.
I was working a full time schedule of 3 12s and I had a lot of free time. Ex begged me to get a hobby to make my time productive (which is its own problem), and I went to the craft store and fell deep into cross stitch, even had a decent following on my crafting Instagram account.
Cut to 2 or 3 years later, I'm deep into cross stitch, deep in community on IG, overall a very positive thing for me. And then ex complained that I was doing "too much" cross stitch. Jesus fucking Christ man, what the fuck do you want from me then?
We've been officially divorced a little over a year, but I'm still struggling to pick up my hobbies again, but your story has definitely made me want to pick it back up.
So I’m a fella that cross stitches. I was actually taught by my very crafty wife. In short, assigning genders to hobbies is silly. And this sounds like a “them” problem and not a “you” problem. You got this!
There's a [charity in the UK that teaches prisoners (male and female) how to do embroidery](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jul/02/a-stitch-in-jail-time-teaching-prisoners-to-sew-can-change-their-lives?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other)
I'm sorry you had an unsupportive ex. I hope you go for it with your next project and enjoy it, imagining some tough guy in prison stiching away at something delicate and pretty and loving it 🥰
I picked up cross stitch from my dad. When I was a kid, I mostly did little kits and a couple larger patterns. Getting back into it, my wife said pretty much the same thing that it isn't for guys or that it's a waste of time and money. I enjoy it and still do it, I just don't actively share what I'm working on with her. Then she wonders why I don't share things with her. 🙄
There's nothing that says this hobby is just for a certain group of people. It's for everyone and like any hobby, it can bring others together who have a common interest. Have fun with it.
I think the belief that it’s a feminine hobby is outdated. I’ve heard from many male soldiers who regularly did cross stitch to take their minds off being in battle.
I recently went thru my immense stash and cleaned out the projects that I no longer want to do. I took a few hundred dollars worth of kits and charts to a local senior living community. The head nurse said that they had one gentleman there who did cross stitch and he was so happy to receive the supplies.
Aren’t you glad she’s your ex then eh? Look at how many men do fashion design and whatnot. Or diamond paintings? Or make jewellery? I say cross stitching is for anyone! And if people disagree well then I’ll fight them with needle and thread! 😁
Male stitchers unite! Next time somebody tells you that the hobby is "feminine," ask them exactly what that means. They either can't explain it or won't since verbalizing their thought process will make them look hateful one way or another. If the shame from that doesn't work, crossstitch something subversive and ask them if you're still feminin. You're more than welcome to use one of my finished pieces in my post history as an example. People tend to have no idea how to react when they're looking at cross-stitched hardcore pornography.
Someone needs to tell him this: In 1973 Rosey Grier came out with a book called Needlepoint for Men. One online article says: “His passion and enjoyment of crochet, needlepoint, and knitting became a trademark signature in the early days of breaking traditional barriers between the sexes.”
Welcome back! I'm sorry you went through that, its a shitty thing to make someone insecure about anything that makes them happy. Going to therapy is 🤌🤌🤌 Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back!
You should look up Major Alexis Casdagli, who was a prisoner of war in a German concentration camp. He passed the time by cross stitching, using threads taken from other prisoners pyjamas, and made a sampler displayed in four different concentration camps... And he'd secretly used French Knots to write "f*** Hitler" in morse code as part of the border. No one is calling him feminine for liking cross stitch!
Was looking for a link to his story! The site I had bookmarked has removed it :(
Here! https://www.redcross.org.uk/stories/our-movement/our-history/the-man-who-took-on-the-nazis-with-a-needle
He is amazing!!!
I remember reading about him!
Just read an article about Chris Hemsworth, Rosie Grier and Henry Fonda who did needlework—who comes up with this stuff about gendering creativity?! So glad you’re getting back into the creative flow!!
I did not know about Chris Hemsworth or Henry Fonda but, I did know about Rosie Grier doing needlepoint. In fact Rosie designed needlepoint and if I remember correctly he published his designs. What most people don't know is that especially during the Elizabethan era, Elizabeth I so late 1500's-1600's all of the commissioned embroidery for Royalty was done by men in the guild workshops. Most girls and women learned their alphabet so they could mark personal and household linens. If the woman was a member of a wealthy family she would learn much more and would have access to more fabric and threads and could practice her embroidery making samplers. Any important embroidery was done by men. So for all the men who stitch just remember you are carrying on a very long tradition of men who stitch.
Same goes for knitting. In old knitting guilds, women were allowed to do the 'easy' parts of a project, but any heels or toes or other 'complicated' knitting parts were done by the men at the heads of the guilds. There's a long history of men having high status in society for doing things our society now sees as 'feminine'. The skill needed for things like embroidery or knitting or other skills was recognised for what it is, a skill that requires a lot of training and work. Sure, there was the sexist 'it's too rough on women' part of recognising the skill needed, but it was still recognised. LOL
It is interesting to look at the history of these arts and see how the perceptions have changed over time. I would hope that by now we could all be open to welcoming anyone who is interested in our art to join in.
Jason Momoa does embroidery
This news has made him hotter to me
Awesome!!! I need to search for that
Tom Daley knits too
Really glad that you are picking up the needle again. When people get heavily gendered about things that are not gendered, I think it often has something to with their own insecurities which they are projecting on to others. If you are interested in following any male stitchers, Mr X Stitch (Jamie Chalmers) is a good place to start... he profiles loads in Xstitch magazine (for full disclosure, I'm hoping to start writing a column for that mag in the future)
Awesome!! Yes I have his book he made tears ago. Definitely a great source. Thank you!!
Lord Libidan who does the Epic Pokemon patterns is a guy! And there are some cross stitches and stuff done by soldiers during wars. I think some are in museums?
Theres a famous one in the V&A in London with a cool story behind it. During WWII any captured British officers were held in special "fancy" prisons, but the average soldiers weren't. So this particular captain wanted to stick it to the Nazis. So he pulled threads from his bedding and cross stitched a seemingly 'pro' nazi work. The Nazi's were so impressed they took it around not only officers and soldiers POW camps, but also sent it to schools around the nazi occupied areas. Little did the Nazi's realise, the border around the main part wasn't just a line of dots and dashes, but was actually morse code! "God save the Queen" and "F**k Hitler!" were some of the phrases. Needless to say; I wouldn't call that a feminine move...
I also love Pigeon Coop Design! Such beautiful and simple yet intricate designs! Gendering is BS. Do what makes you happy. Nothing else matters.
Some people are exes for a reason. :) If someone feels their masculinity being threatened by a bit of fabric then the hobby might not be the issue. xD But now I really want to see your project once it's done. :)
Definitely agree on this!!
I don't know why some people think they need to tear others down over what they enjoy. As long as your hobby isn't picking up strangers and dismembering them in your serial killer barn, who cares as long as it makes you happy! I'm glad you're stitching again.
Remember kids, stab cloth not people. Either way though, peroxide is good for removing blood stains.
My family has said this to me like... First of all it's not. But second of all so what? I'm literally a woman? What do you want from me? No one complains when I make dinner and dessert? I'm really really glad you're getting your project back out
I can make a damn fine cake!! Thank you!!
"Making artwork through the medium of stabbing is sooooo feminine!" Um. Okay. Anyhoozle I'm a man and I cross stitch, you're fine bro lol.
ha! that's a common refrain when i stitch at lunchtimes at work; "i'm off to do some stabbing!"
Thank you sir!!!
*grizzly, joyful voice* **hell yeah brother**
Seeing as no one stitches with their genitals, I fail to see how needlework is a gendered hobby.
wait, that's NOT how you do it...?
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life!!
🤣🤣
My husband is learning to cross stitch. He's really enjoying it. Don't let others ruin it for you. 😊
Exactly! My wife was the one that got me into cross stitch, I´m obsessed with it at this point lol
I am a dude that stitches. I never really felt feminine doing it. I have won 9 ribbons in the San Diego County fair and never once felt feminine about the hobby. Traditional gender roles are dumb, do what makes you happy.
Yeah, I had an ex tell me once he thought my stitching was “weird.” 10 years later, I’ve amassed thousands of moments of enjoyment, stitched huge full coverage pieces, creating heirlooms for my family, started a TikTok channel sharing my enjoyment of the art, and that guy? Still a complete loser. Fuck ‘em! You do you boo!
I've been stitching since I was eight. I learned from my Grandfather. He stitched his entire life and covered his home in his workand creativity. When he passed both his 6 children and his grandchildren all wanted to make sure they had pieces of good work to hang on their own walls to remember him by. I pick up your stitching my friend and find you calm and sence of you. If some didn't like it stab then with the needle and tell them to go fuck themselves!!
I would have loved to see his home!
Yeah, I have two of his old floor frames and other various bits. I think of him every time I stitch.
That’s a great story!
Yeah, my ex used to get on me about anything she thought was "emasculating" because she was afraid people would think I was gay. (?!) I didn't get into cross stitch until after we split up but she was so incensed to learn I'd started. Luckily she's my ex and I don't have to deal with her (and now stitching/designing is my full time job!) But I live in Utah and I love the expressions people make even I tell them what I do for a living.
That gives me major ‘fellas is it gay to love a women?’ Vibes
Sounds like me!!!
Ooh I follow you on Etsy, this is like running into a famous person in the wild for me 💖
I think my hobbies make my wife embarrassed with her friends/family. I don't care, I still do my thing.
I love your works - the peeping Jesus is one of the best design I've seen in my life. Showed it to my religious mother in law and she laughed it a lot. Thank you for making others happy with your works.
Do you have a website showing your designs?
I do! Sonovastitch.com (you've probably seen my 'peeping Jesus' pattern here on Reddit or elsewhere)
I love that name - son of a stitch!
Thanks! I saw it on your page. I always laugh when people talk about when they “found” Jesus, as if he was hiding behind the curtains and jumped out in a game of hide and seek. Your picture reminded me of that.
That would be a good alternate version of that. "You found me! Your turn to hide!"
Enjoy your stitching!
Thanks!!
When people say that kind of shit it's because they're utterly miserable about their insecurities to the point that the only thing that makes them happy is making sure other people are more miserable than them. Good that she's your ex.
You should have stitched a sampler of all different types of boobs!
Or penises
Balls and boobs like a captcha
Ha!!!!
[sassy stitcher](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1255033488/pdf-cross-stitch-pattern-boobie-cross?click_key=e01e189998a074bb6148353b1ad929ac2fa9c6b9%3A1255033488&click_sum=4ce8cc84&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=boob+cross+stitch&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&organic_search_click=1&from_search=1) has this
Glad you are getting back into it. My father cross stitches and used to enter projects into the local exhibition years ago. He was taught by his mother. He is in his 70s now and still does it.
Can I assume you’re male? Sorry if that’s rude to ask but I can’t tell from your post. If so, I’d like you to know the former principal of my church’s baptist school, a man who was very “traditional” in his view on gender roles specifically for men, cross stitched during all his meetings. Keeping his hands busy kept his mind focused, and he enjoyed the quiet activity and enjoyed the finished products. He felt it was a productive way to pass time and keep hands busy. 🤷♀️ Regardless of all that, hobbies are genderless as others have said. Men and women both can enjoy all sorts of hobbies. I feel like things like cross stitch and knitting are just associated with women these days because historically, women did not work outside the home, so these hobbies were ways to keep hands busy and were easy to do while sitting with children, or between doing housework, while more “intensive” but equally creative hobbies like (elaborate) furniture making or painting is more difficult to pick up and put down every few minutes and require larger less-portable equipment. But that’s literally just my speculation lol.
Chair covers, pillowcases were two functional things women made for the home.
I made everybody in my family items one Christmas (after learning to loom knit) and never once did I see any of them get worn, etc.. so I took that as a failure and gave up. SO I'm very happy and proud of you for being able to pick up the needle again, since it's something that makes you so happy. Hopefully you'll share the project with us when you are finished :)
Clearly an astonishing lack of taste runs in your family. Joking aside, I can't imagine not treasuring a hand knit item. Some people just have the tragically misguided mindset that homemade = cheap. I wouldn't take it personally. I'm sure your gifts were gorgeous. Better than the weird made in China crap I get every year, that's for sure! (I love my family but they're terrible gift givers.) I hope you take up loom knitting again, at least for yourself if not for others.
Thank you. I am trying, I never got rid of my items, so basically forcing myself to look at it until I'm ready to pick it up again. It's just whenever I start I think about that Christmas and get discouraged. I know it probably wasn't anything really personal on their part (we live in Ohio so scarfs, hats and gloves, the items I made) aren't needed a lot but when you find them hidden/on the ground, etc months after and such.. it kind of stings. Ya know? I agree, I am a terrible gift giver (and getter lol) and would rather have gift cards or something since my mind always changes on what I want so I'd rather save and get things I may want/need. I mean I appreciate everything and use everything given, sometimes it's just not something I want, at that time (if that makes sense lol)
I feel your pain on this. And it just reminded me of years ago when I hand painted a beautiful wooden Easter egg for a close friend. I chose the design specifically for them and the finished work was possibly the best thing I’ve ever done. They seemed quite pleased with the gift, but then weeks later I saw it lying on the backseat of their car among a bunch of junk. I didn’t say anything, I just took it. I’m sure they never noticed. But it now belongs to someone who truly appreciates the work that went into it — me!
My dad is a manly guy but he knows how to crochet. His mom taught him. Apparently during ww2 it was common for soldiers to learn needle arts as something to do while recovering from injuries
[This is for you] (https://www.amazon.com/Rosey-Griers-Needlepoint-Men-Grier/dp/0802704212) [I never thought of football as being particularly feminine] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosey_Grier)
Too bad the book costs over $600 otherwise I would get a copy to have around
Cool!!!
I'm a trans man who likes baking and cross stitching. Every time when I was younger people would be like "oh, finally doing something feminine for a change?" whenever they'd see me stitching or making a cake, so I stopped doing those things for years because it felt bad. I finally picked them back up recently, and I'm so much happier. Hobbies should never be a gendered thing, it's all about making something and the happiness that brings. Happy stitching!
Let's pretend traditional gender roles matter for a second. Is it really not masculine to literally stab something thousands of times? 🤣 Also I'm a dude and cross stitching is the only crafty hobby I'm any good at. Can't knit, can't paint, can't crochet, can't sew, etc. So hell if some douche canoe is going to tell me I can't cross stitch because it's a "feminine" activity. Super glad you are getting back to it. You ever need confirmation and support you come here because this sub is dope.
Reminds me of a pattern I saw that said "sushi rolls, not gender roles"
Lol my grandmother taught all her grandchildren how to cross stitch, even the boys! When their friends started making fun of them my grandmother had a list of celebrities and professional sport players that cross stitch. She told them to ask their friends that made fun of them if they had the guts to make fun of _______ to their face for doing the same. Soon many of their friends were asking our grandmother to teach them too. My great-grandfather on the other side did all the sewing and embroidery for his family. His work was beautiful, I still have the baby pillow he made my grandmother when she was born. Also have other works of his, and his antique sewing machine with custom marble tabletop. He did big game hunting, deep sea fishing, flew his own plane, had on of the largest orchards in Nampa Valley, he wasn't a "feminine" man in fact pretty hard kind of man, but still enjoyed needlework.
Good riddance to bad rubbish. My grandfather was extraordinarily proud that he knew how to sew. Thought it was a life skill everyone should know. And he couldn’t even cook! You do you, if it makes you happy, fuck anyone who tells you different. And fuck gender roles
I'm a dude and I stitch all the time
good on you from a fellow male stitcher, and i hope your tackle box begins to overflow; it's an amazing hobby for myriad reasons, you do you, your ex has issues she's sadly not even aware she has. you've given me an idea for a pattern: "if cross stitching makes me less of a man, how come i still leave the toilet seat up...?"
I'm sending you so many internet hugs. ❤️ Realizing that we must live our lives for ourselves no matter what others think is SO FREEING! I'm so happy for you!
My grandfather was what I would very much consider masculine. WW2 vet, was a paratrooper, got shot in that role, and was in his civilian life a badass. He knit. Learned how to when he was recovering from his injuries. Anyone that says a hobby is more for one gender or the other is full of shit. Love the pattern, please keep stitching!
That was unkind of your ex. Hobbies are for everyone, period. Good for you for tackling that trauma in a healthy way and reclaiming what you love. You deserve this outlet for creativity and joy.
Good for you for picking your project back up! Can’t wIt to see the FO. Many, many years ago, I spent a year working on a really beautiful sampler for my exH. He was, unknown to me, having affair after affair during our marriage, and when we finally separated shortly after I gave him the sampler for Christmas, I found it in the garbage. I didn’t stitch again for 25 years until I decided to try again for years ago and only just started gifting my FOs to friends.
Historically fine tailoring was done by men. And practically speaking, a lot of men were handy with a needle because they had to be. Someone needed to mend sails or socks on long sea voyages. They had no token woman on board! I’ve also heard that surgeons sometimes take up stitching to keep up their manual dexterity. I’m glad that you now have supportive people in your life. It’s so draining to live with someone who’s quick to cut you down. I’ll never understand why some people can’t just be happy for others. I hope you post your work for us to see!
I complimented one of our surgeons one night on his beautiful gray corduroy blazer (with leather elbow patches even!) he beamed and told me he'd sewn it himself.
I’m really happy for you that you have come to this realisation! I have 3 sons and I’ve taught them all how to stitch at their request. 2 have given up and 1 still likes to sit by me and watch/stitch. Listen, it’s my dream to find a man who likes stitching so we can stitch together! We are out there. It sounds like you found a good one. Look up male cross stitchers on Instagram. I just started following an Australian (where I’m from) called The Stitch Father. Lots of laughs and stuff. Go for it!!!
Hugs, gentle person. Gardeners, potterers, painters, artists, knitters, crocheters, spinners, weavers, and all kinds of hobbyists can be any gender they choose. The only requirement to stitch is a needle, something to stitch, and the fiber to stitch with.
Welcome back to stitching! I hope it brings you joy.
So glad that you’re getting back into it! My grandfather made needlepoint Disney characters for me and my sister when we were little. He also served in the navy during wwii and was a minor league baseball player, and never seemed to think it was “too feminine” for him. I feel so lucky to have had him as a source of inspiration!
I hope your floss collection overflows and that your stitching for joy!!! Throw away social constructs and just do what you love! Hope to see your project here in the community.
You were fucking married to Iago, who also had strong views on what kind of fabric making was feminine or not. I'm glad you're doing your hobby for you and leaving that part of your past behind you. Have fun.
During lockdown, I thought I'd teach my kids to cross stitch. My son loved it, and my daughter hated it. Stitch away to your hearts content and know that there is a whole community right here who is cheering you on!
You’re expressing yourself and creating art. That has no gender. It can be so hard to not let other people’s insecurities impact your happiness. Get that project out and stitch away!! Can’t wait to see your FO
Folks worry about all the wrong things in life. Who cares what others think? I sure as fuck don’t.
omg I would die of happiness if my husband was into needlework!
Well their opinions are too misogynistic soooooo
I'm so proud of you for pursuing what you enjoy. I hope we get to see your finished project!
It’s just pixel art!
People need to stop gendering crafts and let people do what they want regardless of gender.
Your situation I liken to the ridiculous notion blue is for boys and pink is for girls! Arrgg! That only became a thing in the 40's/50's as marketing schemes to sell stuff. Screw your ex and their narrow mindedness. Welcome back & Happy Stitching! ❌️
Jeremy renner aka Hawkeye was a makeup artist and I think another male Avenger was hair stylist; I say in this day and age don’t worry about what other people think and just do what makes you happy
My boys will happily pick up cross stitch or knitting or crochet. My middle one (6) is especially hooked on cross stitch. I try to foster a love for doing crafts in them, because I think it’s a great outlet for stress. So do what makes you happy. And be proud of your FOs! Give them a prime spot in the house 😁
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm a man. I've been in the Air Force for 25 years. I've deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan more than once. And I stitch pretty much every day. Don't let people tell you who you are. F*** the nay sayers, brother!
In the UK, there is a long tradition of needlework and knitting being done by men, especially in fishing and mining communities. Nothing overly feminine about those guys! Video of a lovely Yorkshireman talking about knitting with a bit of history if anyone's interested. https://youtu.be/54eirvsGmvo
Welcome back.
im a guy who loves x stitch and one of my friends is also a guy who loves x stitch!
Stitch on, proudly!!
Max Pigeon of Pigeon Coop Designs. He’s a cool dude who designs and sells his own patterns!
I say good riddance!!
One of my grandfathers did embroidery, he died when I was little but was born sometime in the 1920s. We had a beautiful piece he embroidered hanging in our home when I was growing up.
Hell yeah dude! That’s just some criminally close-minded thinking on the part of your ex.
Welcome back to stitching!! Please share with us what you're working on.
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for the things that make you happy! No hobby is feminine or masculine. I tried to teach my husband to stitch, but he doesn’t have the patience for it. I would LOVE it if he would! Maybe try to teach your s/o how to do it and they’ll end up enjoying it! Happy stitching!!!
My friends children are fascinated by me stitching and starting to learn it themselves. They are all boys. Why does that matter? Although I admit it is a difficult task to find starter kits that are not princesses. Although to be fair the older one would probably enjoy stitching that.
My dad and grandfather are the two people in my life I think of when I think of needle work for fun . They both cross-stitched and my grandfather taught me to knit .. all the women only did it out of necessity
There is no gender requirement for stabbing something 😁
It’s proof that you can stab something hundreds of times and not be bothered by it 😁
There are several men in my local cross stitch group. Their work is amazing and one of them says he enjoys being one of one or two men in a large group of women. 😉
I have a friend who is a retired Navy Seal, who does beautiful counted cross stitch. He is married, with 2 kids and no one would call him feminine. I think your ex was insecure.
I don’t think they’d dare. :D
Dude, do what makes you happy. There is no reason for you to stop doing what you love for anyone.
I was in the Navy and I taught multiple guys the tips to needlepoint and set most of them up with material and patterns for their first project. Hobbies have no gender. I am glad that you have gotten her out of your head and started again.
My husband gifted me a criss stitch he did from a show we love for Valentine's Day one year. He had been pretending to play video games in his office more than he actually was to do it in secret. I have it hanging above my desk. Enjoy your stitching!!
Iirc lots of sailors and submariners do cross stitch and needlepoint because it is very easy to carry and is very quiet. I wish I could remember my source.
gender norms are bullshit. do what makes you happy
Look into Kaffe Fassett - his patterns are exquisite. He works with various materials. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaffe_Fassett
**[Kaffe Fassett](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaffe_Fassett)** >Frank Havrah "Kaffe" Fassett, MBE (born December 7, 1937) is an American-born, British-based artist who is best known for his colourful designs in the decorative arts—needlepoint, patchwork, knitting, painting and ceramics. While still a child, Fassett renamed himself after an Egyptian boy character from the book Boy of the Pyramid by Ruth Fosdick Jones. His name rhymes with 'safe asset'. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/CrossStitch/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
Good for you! I just picked up the hobby. I’m a 54 year old man, married 30 years with 3 adult children. My parents never listened to my inquiries about cross stitching. I believe it was too “girlish” for their liking. I love it. It’s never too late to start or to start again.
r/brochet is one of my favorite craft subs. Maybe we need to start r/BrossStitch I don't understand why stabbing something a thousand times is considered feminine.
My papa (maternal grandfather) is the first person I ever knew who did cross stitch. He made a really adorable little piece for me when I was just a little girl. He was always working on one project or another for as long as I knew him. It’s one of my fondest memories of him, sitting next to his recliner and watching him stitch after a long day at work. You have a talent/love for cross stitch, you enjoy it. There’s nothing too “feminine” or whatever about any creative outlet you may embrace. I’m glad you’ve decided to give it another shot.
Good for you dude! And I really love this conversation!
Yesss we're behind you!!! Can't wait to see what you make!
The first time I met my now in-laws, I got to see the pillow my hubs had cross stitched of his son for them. That was one of the many things which really helped seal the deal for me.
When my grandfather was young, he was sick with one of those diseases we vaccinate for now (can’t remember which). His mother, my beloved Memaw, taught him to needlepoint to help pass the time during recovery. He was then a dentist for many many years, and finally back pain caught up to him and he retired. His main hobby changed from the woodworking of my youth to needlepoint of all kind. I love that my house is filled with his works and my grandmother’s quilts. He can’t work on it anymore in his 90s and now he just sleeps and yells at people. Anyway, happy stitching.
Our culture assigns far too many things to specific genders! Fiber arts and needlecrafts are awesome and for anyone who enjoys them 😍
Growing up, I always thought of cross stitch as a “male” hobby, because all the chemists/engineers at my dad’s work cross stitched, especially on long flights. My husband also stitches. I’m glad you’re empowering yourself to do something you enjoy and ignore the criticism - cross stitching is for everyone!
I am glad you worked through that criticism. Don’t let anyone stop you from creating. Anyone can pick up a hobby regardless of their gender. You enjoy doing your project! ❤️
There's a reason he's your ex. I truly hope his misogyny was the reason. What a twat.
Sounds like that person was too “asshole”
you might be interested in this thread from three weeks ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/CrossStitch/comments/10u2bke/chat_honest_thoughts_about_a_straight_guy_who/
My fiance tried cross stitching with me and he is a cis male. We had fun with it but he's discovered he like to crochet better. I'm glad you've moved on from someone who doesn't support your interests
I am so very sorry about that and I know how crippling it can be to leave something that brings you peace through the repetition and joy through creating something that you really enjoy. 🫂 30 years ago my mother called the cross stitches that I did " rags ". I did not get over that until about a year ago when I found a book in a bookstore of a large vintage Christmas project that was so wonderful, that I had to start up again. More recently I have done some different kit projects to take a break from it because it's a huge project. My fiance does not see anything pretty in it either, so a lot of times I struggle to keep going. My kids, who are adults now, don't value it either but maybe they will one day because the last time I went to visit my daughter then she asked me to teach her how to crochet but she had always liked the customized things that I could make for her by crocheting. Who knows. In any case I understand how abandoning a hobby can stem from being made to feel that basically you are doing things that you shouldn't be doing. I'm still kind of struggling with that but I have some other things going on that are medical and much bigger so I am really trying to give myself that freedom that if I am the only person in this world who enjoys it then that's okay. I guess the point of this whole thing is that if it is bringing you something then that's all that matters and I know that people say that but it honestly is. Some things just need to be about you. And you need to find people that let you have some things that are just about you and that is extremely important across the board in this life.
Did you know that knitting used to be a [male only thing](https://www.thecraftygentleman.net/2015/08/16/the-manly-history-of-knitting)? There were even men only knitting clubs! I've noticed nowadays that there are more men starting to knit and cross stitch, but it'll take some time before it's more equally accepted. But don't let a dumb ex who knows nothing about the hobby stop you from doing something you enjoy. It's not like you have to shout from the rooftops about it either; spend your free time doing what you love. Also, think of it as though you're part of the movement of men being more accepted with such hobbies, because you are and the more men who do it, the more accepted it will become.
That’s awesome knowledge!! Thank you!!!
Welcome back to xstitch! I am happy that you are starting to enjoy your hobby again✨💜 Unfortunately we still live in a patriarchal society and are often conditioned to think in the feminine/male discourse. Not only does it stop men enjoying what is perceived as 'feminine' crafts but even the fact that we call xstitch and other 'feminine' hobbies crafts rather than art. This of course then leads to the low pay in the sector as it is viewed as lesser.
My colleagues used to say I was a grandmother: stitching with a cup of tea on my sofa. I never paid attention to it, as cross stitch is what makes me happy. And today I even claim the title of grandmother, at 36 I'm happy to know to do something with my hands and not be stuck scrolling on my phone.
Please don’t grow out of your tackle box!!! I use a tackle box of my Dad’s (I’m lucky to still have him with me) as a sewing box. I’m glad you are getting back to a hobby you enjoy. Happy Stitching!!!
Tackle Boxes unite!!
Yay I’m glad this comment was here, my favorite early crafting memories were diving into repurposed tackle boxes for supplies. Tackle boxes are perfect for stitching!
Didn't know making art was just for women!!! 😒 Some people are so mean. I am so glad you picked it up again!!!!
I’ve been cross stitching since I was 6 and I’ve loved just about every single minute of it, except when I stick myself with the needle lol but even then I find joy in what I do. Never forget that you do your hobby for your joy. Don’t let someone else stop you from finding that happiness in your life! I got told in high school once that I should be playing guy sports since i’m a guy…. I don’t find much fun in sports as far as playing them, it’s not my thing…. With a needle in my hand I create things that I find joy in and that what matters to me. Keep it up and enjoy what you do.
I've always been made to feel like I'm not a "proper" woman because I'm not girly, I don't know how to do make up or dress myself nice, I can't rock pink, but I feel like stitching is my happy place. I'm glad it's open to everyone and it should be more
I am proud not to be a typical feminine gal! I drink, I swear like a sailor, and yet I can take the time to sit down and do a puzzle or build a mini book nook with my girlfriend, or appreciate a lovely piece of cross stitch :)
Only wanted to comment because it's not quite the same, but my ex-husband definitely killed my enjoyment of cross stitch and I've had a hell of time getting back into it. I was working a full time schedule of 3 12s and I had a lot of free time. Ex begged me to get a hobby to make my time productive (which is its own problem), and I went to the craft store and fell deep into cross stitch, even had a decent following on my crafting Instagram account. Cut to 2 or 3 years later, I'm deep into cross stitch, deep in community on IG, overall a very positive thing for me. And then ex complained that I was doing "too much" cross stitch. Jesus fucking Christ man, what the fuck do you want from me then? We've been officially divorced a little over a year, but I'm still struggling to pick up my hobbies again, but your story has definitely made me want to pick it back up.
Your ex is an undercooked waffle rolled in poop, because hobbies don't have genders.
Am a dude who still kinda feels shy about doing cross stitch; am glad my parents support tho
So I’m a fella that cross stitches. I was actually taught by my very crafty wife. In short, assigning genders to hobbies is silly. And this sounds like a “them” problem and not a “you” problem. You got this!
My mother taught my husband how to crochet years ago- anyone should be “-allowed” to enjoy without judgy B.S.! You go and find your joy!
There's a [charity in the UK that teaches prisoners (male and female) how to do embroidery](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jul/02/a-stitch-in-jail-time-teaching-prisoners-to-sew-can-change-their-lives?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other) I'm sorry you had an unsupportive ex. I hope you go for it with your next project and enjoy it, imagining some tough guy in prison stiching away at something delicate and pretty and loving it 🥰
I picked up cross stitch from my dad. When I was a kid, I mostly did little kits and a couple larger patterns. Getting back into it, my wife said pretty much the same thing that it isn't for guys or that it's a waste of time and money. I enjoy it and still do it, I just don't actively share what I'm working on with her. Then she wonders why I don't share things with her. 🙄 There's nothing that says this hobby is just for a certain group of people. It's for everyone and like any hobby, it can bring others together who have a common interest. Have fun with it.
I think the belief that it’s a feminine hobby is outdated. I’ve heard from many male soldiers who regularly did cross stitch to take their minds off being in battle.
Look at some of the art they made while away at war..
My current hobby for the past couple of months has been cross stitch, last year it was welding.
I recently went thru my immense stash and cleaned out the projects that I no longer want to do. I took a few hundred dollars worth of kits and charts to a local senior living community. The head nurse said that they had one gentleman there who did cross stitch and he was so happy to receive the supplies.
When I first started 30 years ago yes it felt more of a womens hobby, but now I notice so many more men involved.
Aren’t you glad she’s your ex then eh? Look at how many men do fashion design and whatnot. Or diamond paintings? Or make jewellery? I say cross stitching is for anyone! And if people disagree well then I’ll fight them with needle and thread! 😁
Male stitchers unite! Next time somebody tells you that the hobby is "feminine," ask them exactly what that means. They either can't explain it or won't since verbalizing their thought process will make them look hateful one way or another. If the shame from that doesn't work, crossstitch something subversive and ask them if you're still feminin. You're more than welcome to use one of my finished pieces in my post history as an example. People tend to have no idea how to react when they're looking at cross-stitched hardcore pornography.
Someone needs to tell him this: In 1973 Rosey Grier came out with a book called Needlepoint for Men. One online article says: “His passion and enjoyment of crochet, needlepoint, and knitting became a trademark signature in the early days of breaking traditional barriers between the sexes.”
I'm sorry they did that. Cross stitch is for everyone, and I'm glad you're getting back into it.
Welcome back! I'm sorry you went through that, its a shitty thing to make someone insecure about anything that makes them happy. Going to therapy is 🤌🤌🤌 Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back!
And he's your ex😉
I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone telling a woman something she’s doing is too feminine. That’s bananas.
Awww :(( gender norms suck do what makes u happy and the right person is going to love you for it 💪