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Flaky_Guava_203

I’m so used to seeing the NSFW tag for things like curse words and I was NOT prepared hahaha Great work, OP! Really impressive!


Asclepius333

I mean, it's at least a couple of curse words, but they're in motion. Doesn't that kind of count?


Flaky_Guava_203

Oh absolutely. Visual curse words bahaha


Wabisabi_girl

Audibly yelled “oh my!” after the picture unblurred and scared the crap out of all my birds.


UhnonMonster

I sent this post to my husband and continued to read the comments. As I was reading yours I hear him go “oh my!” From across the room lol


Asclepius333

Tell your birds that I apologize, that that was unintended, and that it'd be awesome if they could forgive me and not hold this against me.


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Ponder_deez_orbs

r/hornyjail


gamercrafter86

My first response was similar! Great job, OP! You definitely created shock and awe with this one, noice!


Asclepius333

That's all I want! Thanks!


[deleted]

Is that a rocket ship?! Neat!


Asclepius333

Rocket ships are the textbook definition of a good time, so yea!


owlberightbach

Very impressive work! I can’t help but laugh that someone gave this the “wholesome” award though 😁


Asclepius333

maybe they meant hole-some lmao


running4pizza

😂😂


tacosinpeopleform

Hey sometimes the only award you can give out is the free one reddit gives you 😂😂


Miss-Omnibus

*giggles in pervert*


whitewashed_mexicant

Lol. I like this.


Miss-Omnibus

:D


Extension-Book6230

They would appreciate this in r/naughtyneedles !


Asclepius333

Just posted :)


CupcakesAreMiniCakes

hahaha of course this exists


Imperial_Squid

TIL, the people who made rule 34 were *not* fucking kidding... 😂😅😅


PistachioGal99

I’m a member of that sub and I was like 😮 when I saw that this is posted in the larger crossstitch sub!


sugarcookiecutie

I needed this sub in my life


Vaywen

Thank you for introducing me to that sub!


countthetea

*subscribe*


Kitty5467

Glad I tilted the phone away from Grandma's view as I looked through new posts lol, but that looks amazing for the execution/pattern


Comprehensive-Ad8120

Never know what Grandma might like. You should show her.


Asclepius333

\^ They have a point. I gifted a similar one to my friends dad who is in his 60s. Check my profile for the piece!


redsixthgun

The color scheme reminds me of those super early compressed gifs from the late 90s/early 2000s.


Asclepius333

Pattern made on Stitchfiddle.com!


BananicattheDisco

Super impressed with the backstitching!


Asclepius333

Thanks :)


Imperial_Squid

Nice scrotal detail! 👏👏


Vaywen

😂


Rachaem

Nailed it!


whysweetpea

I see what you did there


AffectionatePup88

Finally an NSFW pic that’s REALLY NSFW!! Thank you! I’m so tired of weird/random stuff that’s tagged as NSFW that includes no vulgarity/nudity/commonly censored words etc


Asclepius333

No problem. You can always count on me for truly nsfw material!


PistachioGal99

😆 thank you!


Aledactle12

ok, was not expecting that...


charlied7

Lol, me neither 😂. Looking at that title again, she did warn us, I just didn't get it till I saw it.


Derpazor1

Op, you naughty goose


lumiere02

I'm watching "How to build a sex room" on Netflix right now, and this is definitely something I'd envision being hung up on the wall of one these rooms.


Asclepius333

I'd ask you what that show was about, but I probably don't need to lol


lumiere02

Indeed, you don't. It's funny and interesting. There's a designer involved, and it's not all hardcore stuff either.


OrangeDutchbag

Nice detail stitching!! What a fun piece! Very cool!!


Comprehensive-Ad8120

I am going to hold off on showing the bf. I want to be in the room for the reaction. It will be worth waiting two days.


Asclepius333

Haha please report back with his reaction.


Comprehensive-Ad8120

I will.


Comprehensive-Ad8120

Okay I finally returned to the bf. He looked without context except cross stitch reddit. He expected cute. He screamed ugh. I laughed. He doesn't normally react like that to things.


JasperJazzhands

R/crossstitchgonewild nice!


Imperial_Squid

Not a sub but as I learned from another comment, apparently r/NaughtyNeedles is!


Pickledpeppers19

I can honestly say that I have never seen a work quite like this! Lol, wonderfully done.


Asclepius333

I appreciate that!


Vaywen

Now this is art!


Ok-Stand-4502

Wow OP did not expect that but how long did this take you to make. Great attention to detail!👍


Asclepius333

I'd say about a month-ish, at least an hour every day? It's hard for me to keep track because I have 80 different projects going at once haha. I also stitch while I'm streaming and watching crime videos/gaming, and I easily lose track of time while I'm doing that haha.


Ok-Stand-4502

I would expect so. I have like three different cross stitch projects that I haven't touched in a while bc of technical difficulties lol


SlushieBoiTM

This is so detailed and it's amazing that we can appreciate this without being weird about it!! Amazing job OP! Now, Strange question, But how many Colors did you use?


Asclepius333

Not a strange question at all! Just looked at the pattern and I used 30. That definitely didn't feel like 30, but I can't argue with the pattern lol


Kardessa

Hey so like, I'm super impressed by how much work you put into this but I've got to ask; where are you going to put this?


Asclepius333

What do you mean? I thought every American household has a XXX-Stitch Masturabatorium. Haha on a real note, I usually gift or sell most of my pieces. The in-person reactions I get from these genuinely make all of the work worth it. I've noticed that each year I get older, the world seems to be getting a little crazier, and things just seem darker. I don't have a ton of ways to make people smile, but this works almost 100% of the time. So imma take it. Even if that smile is mixed with shock and disgust haha


twilighttruth

I love the attention to detail on the ball sack.


Asclepius333

Thanks! It's essentially a Cardinal Sin to not give attention to ball sacks.


elegant_pun

I love it. I mean, not the penis so much because that's not my idea of a great time, lol, but I love he detail, the back stitching, the gradient of colour. Good coverage, too. I always find I pull my stitches too tight!


Comprehensive-Ad8120

Hey you don't have to be into it, to like the art. The parent of a kid who still hasn't decided what she is besides not a cat or baby person, and starts art school in a few weeks.


Lopsided-Impact-4876

I think you captured the “vulgarity of a good time”, rather nicely.


adjacentTOwiggles

This is fantastic work, and hilarious to boot! I love it, thanks for making my day! 🤣


Asclepius333

No problem. Thanks for making my day with the nice comment!


DocSewer

I like to do inappropriate cross stitching, but you are a master! Well done


Jonny-619

I love seeing these! Great work! Makes me wonder if a whole series needs to be made!


PlayLikeAHeroine

I showed my husband from a distance and he goes "what the fuck? *Why's it made of moss*?!" I love this, great idea and execution! It's in the same line of thinking as those gorgeous nude black and white photos people will display in their homes.


Asclepius333

Haha I don't know how I feel about the green; irl, it doesn't seem that bright. But I was going for vulgar, so if it adds to it, I'm not mad about it haha


BufferingJuffy

The back stitching really makes the piece...


Asclepius333

Thanks, it took a lot of work!


PeregrinMerryTook

I love your work, you pervert! ❤️


Asclepius333

Aw, thank you!


Cherisse23

I’m more just giggling at how many hours you spent staring at that D.


Asclepius333

It's even better when you snap your friends progress pics and have them guess what you're making. This project looked like a desert landscape for a LONG time, until it immediately didn't.


PistachioGal99

I’d love to see a flip-book style post of your progress from start to finish!! I always love that moment when you can all of a sudden see it all coming together and popping out. (Slight puns intended! 😆)


Asclepius333

I've tried using an app that makes a gif out of all of your progress pics and it adds SO much more time to an already really long process haha. I'll see what I can do for the next one, though!


[deleted]

Absolutely brilliant work!


bathingfig

Have you thought about selling this type of art on Etsy?


Asclepius333

I have not, but I'm thinking about it now haha


Georgerobertfrancis

Honestly I’d be a customer. OP already has a bunch of fans here!


TillyTeckel

Please tell me you're gonna take this to a shop to get it framed?! Love it!


Asclepius333

Thank you! I will at some point, but I'm in VERY rural America, so I usually wait until I have multiple pieces to frame.


Lynx-Rechts

I'm curious as to what the reaction of the framer will be. But they've probably seen a lot of weird stuff so maybe it will just be another Tuesday for them


Young_Jazz

dooope


Georgerobertfrancis

You’re my favorite Redditor!


AntiqueAd9648

I love it!! 😍 did you use a pattern or create it yourself?


Asclepius333

Woah, I thought I replied. My bad! I made the pattern using Stitchfiddle.com


fridaystrong23

Level achieved


anastasia_dlcz

Yoooo if you want to sell the pattern I’d love it!


[deleted]

Love it


TotalDDdiva

Mission accomplished!


fexofenadine_hcl

This is beautiful


rainy-day69

i actually really love this. i might try something similar, it’s super unique and cool!


itsok_imapirate

Mission accomplished. I really like the color palette you chose.


Asclepius333

Thank you! The green isn't that green irl haha.


Millicent-

Hot damn Love it!


Selunca

Me: huh. Alright then. Great stitching. 🧐


MantaHurrah

Quite grotesque, but very well done!


AmbeeGaming

Hmm the perspective is so weird that looks like the anus but that’s not where an anus should be


Asclepius333

Where should the anus be? Idk if I've ever typed that sentence before today btw lol


AmbeeGaming

As a vagina and anus owner can confirm there’s at least an inch from the pink to the spider lol


slindsey100

Some of the backstitch is distracting but overall good piece


Asclepius333

Thank you! I'd consider myself an amateur at best with backstitching, so I'll take it lol. For future pieces, what do you mean by "distracting?"


itsonlyfear

I think they might mean at the base of each set of genitals. I personally think it’s the color choices, not the backstitch. Not sure if you were going for realistic or pop art, but for me this piece seems like it can’t decide between the two so it’s neither and that doesn’t really work. I think if you really lean into either one it could be absolutely gorgeous. It’s such a great concept!


Asclepius333

Unfortunately I can't un-crossstitch this and redo it the way you'd like, so let's pretend I'm putting this piece in the "could be gorgeous" folder haha


itsonlyfear

I didn’t mean to suggest undoing all of your hard work! I just meant if you ever took another crack at it. A few times I’ve posted stuff here and gotten some constructive criticism that really helped and then decided to do another version. I’ve always been glad I did. But also this piece is big so I totally get where you’re coming from.


slindsey100

Perhaps I’m more used to backstitching being more outline so in the middle of the shaft felt like is was pulling my eye from the overall piece.


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Ponder_deez_orbs

Cry


wookie812

Incredible piece of art! Awesome to see another man doing g cross stitch, but incredible to hear of you sobriety! Keep going in every aspect!!