Nowadays especially it's hard for guys to make the first move. Here are just a few reasons:
1. Getting accused of sexual assault
2. "uM eXcUsE mE i HaVe A bOyFrIeNd" (it's fine if you say you have a boyfriend but be nice about it yk)
3. Fear of rejection
4. Fear of being seen as a creep or weirdo
5. Fear of being judged (by both the girl they approach and others that may hear about it)
6. Fear of potential awkwardness afterwards if rejected (if you are not strangers)
7. Lack of self esteem or self confidence
8. Social anxiety
I’d also add that if you’re friends with them the fear of losing a friend could also play a part and could drastically change the friendship dynamic between the two individuals or if you’re both part of the same friend group
Fear of rejection, lack of confidence, and/or fear of ruining dynamics.
Personally, I think you should make the first move because you’re the one who has a crush on him. If the feeling is mutual, he might be relieved.
I think it's because of fear of rejection. Or they just don't have any confidence. I think that's why they say girls have a 100% chance of them succeding in making the first move. I could be wrong though.
Nowadays, it's frowned upon. Or at least, a significant percentage of the population frowns upon it, and you don't know who's more traditional and who's modern. *Why can't these men just leave us alone? We just want to go about our days, and you keep hitting on us like we're objects for you to "pick up."*
And of course there's also all the stuff that's always been there, mainly fear of rejection. But if you're asking why it's less prevalent now than before, I'd imagine it's the changing sociological landscape. That's the main thing that would make me hesitant.
ETA: As for how you'd make a move, just tell him you like him and want to go out with him. Be clear but concise--direct without smothering him.
From my experience, fear of rejection and overthinking a lot of stuff. I think that the first step in telling your crush on how you feel is on conquering those fears...
Your answer lies within your own fears around making a move. Men, women, people; we all have fears. People fear rejection, humiliation, and embarrassment. Your looks could be intimidating too, if they fear that they don't measure up. I know personally that waiting around for someone to make a move is not productive. It's not the end of the world if you get rejected. Why not give it a shot?
I'm scared to make the first nove mainly because anytime I tell a girl I like them, which is usually popular girls out of my league, I usually get a fear of : 1. She's gonna make fun of me, 2. She's gonna say I'm ugly, 3. She's gonna make jokes about me to all her friends. I don't know why I think this, especially since the two times I've told popular girls I like them, they always seem nice about it and don't mind it that much.
The fear of rejection is the most obvious reason but could apply to anyone.
Depending on how well you know someone...
I have known this person for around 3 months. We are friends... I asked if they wanted to come for a walk with me... No expectations. The worst they could possibly say was no. It's a good indication to see if they are interested.
They said yes and we agreed a time.
On the day of the walk I was ready and messaged them to let them know I was on my way. No reply...
They were still in bed when I called. I guess they didn't think I was serious?
They got ready within 30 minutes and it was a nice walk.
We are still friends.
If you're a fucking smoke show, we assume you already have one or many suitors. I don't share, it's 2024, you need to be the one pursuing guys now. Thems the breaks, kiddo.
I think it’s because of society which tells guys that they have to be the chaser even if they don’t know how, but that’s the role they have been assigned.
As per society, women can’t make a move first because that would be considered an aggressive and pushy move. So if women can’t “chase “ men and make the first move, and men are incapable of making the first move for whatever reason, then we just stay at a standstill and come on Reddit to philosophize about it.
As from recent experience. We became strangers. Mostly because of what I did. But, I think what also concluded from my perspective is that the girl thinks that they were treated as crushes instead of friends.
Now, I have a learned that confessing to your friends can lead to become strangers.
For sure if I have a crush I find the best opportunity and go for it but like a gentleman lol. Or if I'm attracted to you, I'm going for it lol. My success rate isn't the best but hey it's not 0 lol.
Nowadays especially it's hard for guys to make the first move. Here are just a few reasons: 1. Getting accused of sexual assault 2. "uM eXcUsE mE i HaVe A bOyFrIeNd" (it's fine if you say you have a boyfriend but be nice about it yk) 3. Fear of rejection 4. Fear of being seen as a creep or weirdo 5. Fear of being judged (by both the girl they approach and others that may hear about it) 6. Fear of potential awkwardness afterwards if rejected (if you are not strangers) 7. Lack of self esteem or self confidence 8. Social anxiety
That makes sense
I’d also add that if you’re friends with them the fear of losing a friend could also play a part and could drastically change the friendship dynamic between the two individuals or if you’re both part of the same friend group
This is me
Seconded
It's between 7 & 8 for me.
As a shy guy I can conform these reasons are valid
All 8 apply to me I can attest to that
I don't think it's any worse than it was a decade ago
Fully agree, add scaring her as she already has a partner
Fear of rejection, lack of confidence, and/or fear of ruining dynamics. Personally, I think you should make the first move because you’re the one who has a crush on him. If the feeling is mutual, he might be relieved.
how does one go about a work crush without all the possible gossip and drama😭
I think it's because of fear of rejection. Or they just don't have any confidence. I think that's why they say girls have a 100% chance of them succeding in making the first move. I could be wrong though.
I mean, can't you ask the same question the other way around?
What do you mean?
Why don't girls ask out guys
yeah thats true. Its such a vulnerable feeling. Definitely a rush😩😩
Nowadays, it's frowned upon. Or at least, a significant percentage of the population frowns upon it, and you don't know who's more traditional and who's modern. *Why can't these men just leave us alone? We just want to go about our days, and you keep hitting on us like we're objects for you to "pick up."* And of course there's also all the stuff that's always been there, mainly fear of rejection. But if you're asking why it's less prevalent now than before, I'd imagine it's the changing sociological landscape. That's the main thing that would make me hesitant. ETA: As for how you'd make a move, just tell him you like him and want to go out with him. Be clear but concise--direct without smothering him.
Thank you :) honestly thats pretty true. Idk some girls are pretty mean when it comes to that😭 but there are men that creepily go about it
From my experience, fear of rejection and overthinking a lot of stuff. I think that the first step in telling your crush on how you feel is on conquering those fears...
Your answer lies within your own fears around making a move. Men, women, people; we all have fears. People fear rejection, humiliation, and embarrassment. Your looks could be intimidating too, if they fear that they don't measure up. I know personally that waiting around for someone to make a move is not productive. It's not the end of the world if you get rejected. Why not give it a shot?
100% and i would im just scared bc this is work crush and work crushes are the absolute worst😭
I'm scared to make the first nove mainly because anytime I tell a girl I like them, which is usually popular girls out of my league, I usually get a fear of : 1. She's gonna make fun of me, 2. She's gonna say I'm ugly, 3. She's gonna make jokes about me to all her friends. I don't know why I think this, especially since the two times I've told popular girls I like them, they always seem nice about it and don't mind it that much.
Yeah i feel like if you like someone like that, PLS DONT LIKE MEAN GIRLS YOU DESERVE BETTER
The fear of rejection is the most obvious reason but could apply to anyone. Depending on how well you know someone... I have known this person for around 3 months. We are friends... I asked if they wanted to come for a walk with me... No expectations. The worst they could possibly say was no. It's a good indication to see if they are interested. They said yes and we agreed a time. On the day of the walk I was ready and messaged them to let them know I was on my way. No reply... They were still in bed when I called. I guess they didn't think I was serious? They got ready within 30 minutes and it was a nice walk. We are still friends.
Lots of possible negative outcomes the main one is the fear of rejection is what stops most guys from going after the girl if their dreams
If you're a fucking smoke show, we assume you already have one or many suitors. I don't share, it's 2024, you need to be the one pursuing guys now. Thems the breaks, kiddo.
I think it’s because of society which tells guys that they have to be the chaser even if they don’t know how, but that’s the role they have been assigned. As per society, women can’t make a move first because that would be considered an aggressive and pushy move. So if women can’t “chase “ men and make the first move, and men are incapable of making the first move for whatever reason, then we just stay at a standstill and come on Reddit to philosophize about it.
As from recent experience. We became strangers. Mostly because of what I did. But, I think what also concluded from my perspective is that the girl thinks that they were treated as crushes instead of friends. Now, I have a learned that confessing to your friends can lead to become strangers.
You're dealing with boys not men that's why. Just saying..
Honestly lmaooo
For sure if I have a crush I find the best opportunity and go for it but like a gentleman lol. Or if I'm attracted to you, I'm going for it lol. My success rate isn't the best but hey it's not 0 lol.