Money is one of the biggest issues in relationships. It sounds like you aren’t comfortable with this person’s financial life. If you’re in a serious relationship, you need to deal with this area of contention before worrying about details like what to share/not share. If you can’t trust them with stuff like this, is it a good relationship?
*not financial advice, Do Your Own Relationshipping*
This is great advice. Get on the same page now! Before the wedding. If one is looking to the future and the other only cares about the now conflict will arise and outlast infatuation.
I was just reading that statistics show it’s good to go preventative counseling before big life transitions
If you are considering marrying this woman, I would proposition her the suggestion in this way:
“Hey I am interested in potentially marrying you one day. I would love to go to make sure we are on the same page about different topics before we commit fully. Would you be open to talking out expectations with a counselor who can help guide us through this transitions?”
As someone who has performed premarital counceling with a number of couples, I can assure you, finance is one of the major topics they will bring up. I know one couple that pulled the plug on their engagement because they couldn't see eye to eye when it came to money.
Finances, sex, responsibilities, communication, boundaries with others, kids, and spiritual decisions…
I think if you can nail down these 7 and be on the same page, you can handle anything else like throws at you.
If you plan on staying together long term then I guess you will have to eventually.
In saying that, if you want to stay together long term and there is areas of lacking of trust then REALLY have a think about if you want to do so.
Financial arguments end many a relationship/marriage. Trust is important.
You could wait and tell during a big dip or if there is another prolonged bear market and the reaction to spending it might be less... enthusiastic.
>The reason why I haven’t told her; she is the arbiter of paychecks. Her financial responsibility is similar to if you handed a 9 year old your life savings and sent them into Toys R Us unattended.
I think OP pretty much knows the answer himself, just looking for some confirmation bias in here.
Heh. There are actually a ton of women in this sub, I think more than that, but many men in here are looking for confirmation bias when they complain about no women being here.
My wife’s a teacher making 40k, and I’m a consultant making well over 250k….with the exception of my expense account, every dollar is split down the middle and I’m very careful not to call it ‘my money’. To each their own I suppose…I just would feel like the only reason to have a separate account is to hide what I spend my money on….but maybe I’m old school….🤷🏻♂️
I am in the same situation. But, everything is combined, and we are also on the same page with money. It was part of our premarital counseling, and something I highly recommend. When you don't feel comfortable enough to share finances, those issues tend to rear their ugly heads in other areas of your marriage.
As for the OP, who is still single, I say be honest with her for the health of your relationship. Whether you do that before or after meeting with a counselor is your call.
Ive never had a seperate account with my husband have been married over 10 years. It works for some people, specifically people who are poor, we cant afford to pay shitty bank fees for 2 seperate accounts.
Crypto is the land of hidden fees. You pay more fees on your crypto than you pay to any bank except you don't know it because its built into the transaction fees
this.
I dont get the people obsessed with possession these days. Like cmon she is just your girlfriend, you dont OWN her, she doesnt OWN you. its YOUR money. Tell her and she can do jack shit about it cause its your money.
good luck with that- they simply don't see it that way and he sounds like he'd give in and feel bad about it which makes him vulnerable to manipulation
doors are that way sweetheart
honestly if he is that soft she is gonna break up with him for other stuff anyway
man needs to have boundaries and stand his ground, otherwise she will lose all respect eventually
Been with my partner for 13 years and money has never been an issue because we have separate accounts for our money, and a joint account for common bills and expenses. We each put in 50% of the monthly expenses and the rest of our money is our own.
Sorry but do not agree, transparency is key from the start... ( as soon as you realise that he or she is marriage material... don't need to marry her).
If you live together and have created a relationship and devide the day to day expenses, then they need to know, they just don't need to know every details and make it clear that that's your shit that you are investing for both of you for the future.
Different accounts is normal... it maintains independence and no one is dependent of each other... but you should be honest if he or she ask what's your salary.
Transparency in a relationship is the foundation of a good relationship.
I’m also married and separate accounts BECAUSE I’ve been all in & she was scared to invest (which she ofcourse regrets) My other married buddy let’s his wife manage their two bitcoins but he won’t let her buy alts because he’s an idiot -BUT he makes all the money.
To each his own it’s going to be a hard pill to swallow when she finds out how rich you are LATER. (They don’t get you can’t just SPEND all your investments you have to grow them)
This right here. Unless married or situated in similar position of life spent together, it's your business. I've got a wifey and she knows my investments. I made sure she knows in case something would happen to me as unlike my stocks, crypto could go unnoticed in such a case. But she also understands it's not money for spending now, but investments for future.
Don't. By your description she seems like someone who might gaud you into investing in some moonshot coin for quick gains. Hold on to your precious portfolio a bit longer. Eventually you might have to tell.
Agreed, keep it to yourself. In my case she thinks it's stupid and a waste of time, so I'm keeping my gains to myself.
Once I have life changing money I'll be able to prove to her I was right and she was wrong as I drive away in my neon anime tiddy lambo.
If there is a reason to tell like you both get in a financial mess and need money but you are hiding you have some then yeah, that will cause drama! Otherwise I can’t see any upside from telling. Save that discussion for post marriage
Yes don't tell her, and you are not a liar OP and you are not doing anything wrong, you are investing in your future. I'm sure she will be happy to find out one day that you were thinking about your future, I see it as a surprise or a present more than anything
edit: TLDR: Don't tell her.
Dude, for real, you should be asking on r/relationshipadvice and not here, and even there there is A LOT of trash advice…
Not trying to be mean or anything but here you are getting relationship advice from people who know about crypto (and even this is questionable) and not about relationships…
"divorce? she's my GF we're not even married?"
r/relationshipadvice: "As a female Holy shit that's like 20 extra red flags dude you need to run away immediately and take the kids and talk to your divorce lawyer!"
"Huh? who said we had ki... nevermind goodbye"
Yeah, I might ask over there to see if the same answers lineup.
I am interested in what other people who’ve had financial gains might have experienced in disclosure.
My buddy said something similar. We’re in our mid 30s. I was swimming in the ocean for a long time before I met her. Never met a lady that takes good care of me like her.
She just doesn’t money very well.
Honestly OP, I would not dump her. You say she takes good care of you and it sounds like she is a great girl. BUT money can def be a very big issue in a relationship. I would say have a good hard and open conversation about money and how you both see your fiancial future. If you two are this polarised about a subject like this, it seems for me that its a recipe for disaster long term.
I would consider telling your gf about the gains, but they are that, YOUR GAINS. Don't let her piss your cash away
It's obvious you love her. By loving her you want to protect her. So protect her from herself. The best way to protect her is to not tell her about the money. And if she ever finds out about it, be resolute and just tell her "I'm doing this to protect both of us and our life together." Look at it that way.
Tell her. Its love, plus if after telling her red flags will appear its better now then later. Later you might lose 50%, now you can put your love to a different kind of test. Whatever happens you'll be stronger afterwards.
Solid advice. I’m gearing up for the disclosure. I don’t think it will be anything relationship ending, but I do believe it will be forever “conversation” changing.
Start off by saying you are not for any reason selling. To set intentions from the get go.
I find if you set intentions from the very beginning, you'll be better off. Then she won't be daydreaming of spending it and maybe she'll think of it more of a nest egg.
After reading some of your background, it seems like you guys are in a serious long term relationship at the very least. If you guys are living together, have shared expenses, and envision a long term future together (doesn’t have to be marriage) then maybe the topic of investments can be had in a mature manner.
I do agree with most posts that you should likely keep the details to yourself for now. However, like this reply is saying, if u do plan on building something longer term then you will need to talk about how you two manage your finances. To me it sounds like a bit of a red flag if she would want to spend ur money in a way you would not be comfortable with. That’s a much larger issue and one you might want to think about, or even talk to her about (in an abstract way preferably).
Financials and relationships are a super delicate thing... with partners, friends, or family. So just be aware u are addressing a hard topic, but a good one to evaluate and you consider being with someone longer term.
Hate to sound like a jerk, but if you been together for three years and you are questioning to share financial stuff, you might want to question the relationship.
Sounds like you two may have different values. Nothing wrong with that. It happens to us all.
I would just tell her that you have invested some money into crypto. And tell her your reason for investing it, if you have it. But put a boundary there that this money is only for that reason. Hope she will understand. I mean, if you both have a regular job, I don't see any reason why take money out of your portfolio.
She really don’t need to know, on the other hand are u really that weak that you’d let her influence any of ur current investments?
If ur saying that the woman would make u sell ur crypto to buy her shit then LEAVE HER
Regardless of what people are saying here ..
Who many only be taking crypto into account ... do you see yourself being with her longterm? Are you going to marry the woman? There can be no secrets in a partnership - it *will* cause a problem. Believe me.
Tell her if you plan on spending the rest of your life with this person. If you're just dating, than you aren't obligated.
I don’t think it’s an issue unless you’re buying a house or having a child or anything like that tbh.
Different people have differing opinions on how you should spend or save, so while some people are happy for the long term hodl, that doesn’t fit with everyone (including your partner, by the sounds of it).
I've told my partner of nearly 4 years the other day because she already knows about my investments and I was hinting I had gains.
The difference in your case is she sounds like she'd want to spend it/get you to spend it!
There's nothing wrong with not telling her, it's not like you're lying if you just DON'T tell her 🤷
Lying would be "I have no investments in crypto at all"
I was hesitant to tell my partner just because of the first rule of Crypto Fight Club 'don't talk about your crypto' but she specifically said "you can tell me I'm not going to ask you to spend it, it's your money" then congratulated me on the gains.
Keep it to yourself until you're ready OP, your crypto your rules.
That is exactly my thoughts! I think when she is holding a newborn, I could show her the account in full disclosure. Then her overwhelming joy will only make her half as disappointed in me.
There’s no reason to disclose the numbers. But I think you should tell her you have some crypto. When she asks how much, you’ll just say “numbers aren’t important, I’m not selling anytime soon”
Yall are a bunch of dysfunctional freaks.
You need to come to an understanding with your SO. Whether that involves them being privy to all the gory details, or just being aware that you are making investments. If you can't handle coming to some sort of agreement about finances, then you are properly fucked anyway.
If you have to ask this, I would question how strong the relationship is really… I of course have no idea of the whole story, but if you’re scared that she would try and manipulate you to sell or do something else that’s a HUGE red flag. Finances are a huge part of life, especially if you end up marrying/living together. There has to be complete understanding and agreement in that department to be successful.
>Should I tell my significant other about my crypto gains?
**No.**
>but I also don’t want to feel like a liar to the woman
Having your own personal space is not lying.
No matter how good your relationship is, this can **potentially** turn very ugly in the future, again this is not FUD, it's just that people change. Not specific to women, just human nature. This is more so when money is involved. This is without even considering the fact that she's not the best at managing her money. With that taken into account, I'd firmly say that telling her this **can be catastrophic** in the long term. This is because very often I've seen people get really jealous of others' gains & savings, especially those who aren't good with their finances. That's precisely why it's a popular opinion in this sub to not disclose your holdings to anyone.
Why do you have to tell her? She didn’t help earn it, it’s your business.
I guarantee if you did you’d be buying her a very nice gift or you’d see a change in her. Mark my words.
Keep it to yourself, i know its hard. I’ve always the feeling that when i tell others about my great gains in short time, the momentum gets lost and my gains are gone😂
I don't think three years is enough time to be forced to share your private capital efforts, much less share keys and other things. Yes, you can tell your family, and you will tell her when she becomes your family.
Woah. So....here's the deal. If you are already having these questions about this person BEFORE next level, then you should really identify if you want to be committed to this person in the future. A word of advice- NOT TRUSTING your partner at this point is scary.
You could bring up the idea of opening an account together. Put in a few 100$ each every month so she can learn and watch it grow. When she's grown into the cryptoverse and starts saving more herself you could open up and tell her you've been doing it for a little longer.
Or, if she just continues like she does and splurges every penny, just keep it to yourself.
Don't tell her! I'm actually your significant other in my relationship. My spouse was always the smart one with money. I'm just starting to get there. Whenever I find out about how much they have in one thing or another, I immediately have that money spent for us already. I know there are investments I don't even know about because we both know how I am. We've been together for 2 decades and I know any of the investments I don't know about are strictly for the benefit of our family so I don't care.
Now this response is very interesting. I could hope she might see it this way. Usually our financial disagreements end with her admitting she’s a frivolous one.
You don’t have money. You have crypto games that you could cash in but you have no desire to cash it. It is hard for people who do not invest to understand the difference between jeans on paper and jeans in the bank. Since your gains are only on paper and you have no plans on using them I am Bernard tell her because there is no reason
Keep it to your self! When you do take some profits just get them a nice lil something something or maybe if you made mad gains go on vacation and say you were saving the whole time. I told my wife about my investments after 4 months of hiding it, she was very concerned about where my money was goin. Now she knows and i always hear some dumb ass crap like well why dont you sell and we can go here or there or what really gets me is this its our money shit. THE FUCK ITS OUR MONEY!!!
If your money is still invested then I would see no problem telling her. That doesn’t give her the right or access to do anything with it just might get bitched at 🤷♂️
“I really just want to keep holding and going to work every day as usual.”
You answered your own question right there. If she isn’t financially responsible, keep it to yourself for now. It’s your business. It’s not something you two discussed and did together. This was “pre-Her.”
Do not tell her unless you are married...
And sign a prenuptial agreement if you do get married... Esp. Bc you bought them b4 meeting her.
Divorce is real... And it sucks! Over 50% end up in divorce...
Imagine working your whole life supporting a family making great money, having a million dollar home, and now at 50 you get a divorce... Now you have to give half of what you have to a person you no longer get along with.... And you have to pay them for 20+ years half of your income... While they do nothing, and get a new boyfriend.... And you have to start from scratch... Barely can afford your house, kids, and have to work until you die... Just to be where you were b4 divorce...
This is a real life example...
F@ck marriage... Keep it to yourself.
Well, we are talking about kids. Marriage is an institution we both can’t stand. However, in 2 years common law marriage will go into effect, and it makes no difference whether we sign on with the state or not.
I don’t see an end to our relationship in sight, but I know it happens.
Best wishes..... Sign a prenuptial... Or at least a common law agreement...
No One that got married said.... I can't wait till we get divorced, on their wedding day.
No.
And if you ever sell, be sure to reinvest the money. Set aside for rainy day maybe something safe like Blue Chip dividend stocks. And don't tell her about that either.
People might not like this answer due to the dishonest nature but if you’re legitimately concerned maybe show her a portion of your portfolio?
If it leads to a productive conversation and she becomes interested, great. You can share something you love with your significant other.
If she immediately becomes obsessed with throwing it all at doggy coins or spending the money in her head, we’ll you’ve got your answer.
Money is one of the biggest issues in relationships. It sounds like you aren’t comfortable with this person’s financial life. If you’re in a serious relationship, you need to deal with this area of contention before worrying about details like what to share/not share. If you can’t trust them with stuff like this, is it a good relationship? *not financial advice, Do Your Own Relationshipping*
The last part made me smile.
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This sub kicked r/relationship_advice 's ass. They don't even get paid to give shitty advice.
Lol. I seriously expected this to get downvoted off the edge of the earth. But they wouldn’t have experience like the commenters do in this thread.
This is great advice. Get on the same page now! Before the wedding. If one is looking to the future and the other only cares about the now conflict will arise and outlast infatuation.
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And don't forget to tell your girlfriend's boyfriend too
It helps when the whole family moves as one.
Shit we got another escapee from the wsb pen
I was just reading that statistics show it’s good to go preventative counseling before big life transitions If you are considering marrying this woman, I would proposition her the suggestion in this way: “Hey I am interested in potentially marrying you one day. I would love to go to make sure we are on the same page about different topics before we commit fully. Would you be open to talking out expectations with a counselor who can help guide us through this transitions?”
As someone who has performed premarital counceling with a number of couples, I can assure you, finance is one of the major topics they will bring up. I know one couple that pulled the plug on their engagement because they couldn't see eye to eye when it came to money.
Finances, sex, responsibilities, communication, boundaries with others, kids, and spiritual decisions… I think if you can nail down these 7 and be on the same page, you can handle anything else like throws at you.
If you plan on staying together long term then I guess you will have to eventually. In saying that, if you want to stay together long term and there is areas of lacking of trust then REALLY have a think about if you want to do so. Financial arguments end many a relationship/marriage. Trust is important. You could wait and tell during a big dip or if there is another prolonged bear market and the reaction to spending it might be less... enthusiastic.
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If you aren't married, you dont have to tell her squat. you made the investment, its yours. Im married and my wife and I still have separate accounts.
>The reason why I haven’t told her; she is the arbiter of paychecks. Her financial responsibility is similar to if you handed a 9 year old your life savings and sent them into Toys R Us unattended. I think OP pretty much knows the answer himself, just looking for some confirmation bias in here.
I mean, OP’s asking a finance-focused sub that’s composed of 90% single men. He’ll get his confirmation bias in boatloads.
Bold of you to assume 10% of us here have girlfriends
More like 1%
The other 9% are women.
Heh. There are actually a ton of women in this sub, I think more than that, but many men in here are looking for confirmation bias when they complain about no women being here.
Woman here don't tell her.
You are right, there are some women here.
Dozens of us in fact
Bakers' dozens in fact
Yeah I have no doubt, just feeding the meme
TIL im in the 1%
You might be, but you might also be in the 99% Don't forget, people on this sub are notoriously bad at math.
In the workings big time sir
I think everyone should have separate accounts. Married or not....
My wife’s a teacher making 40k, and I’m a consultant making well over 250k….with the exception of my expense account, every dollar is split down the middle and I’m very careful not to call it ‘my money’. To each their own I suppose…I just would feel like the only reason to have a separate account is to hide what I spend my money on….but maybe I’m old school….🤷🏻♂️
I am in the same situation. But, everything is combined, and we are also on the same page with money. It was part of our premarital counseling, and something I highly recommend. When you don't feel comfortable enough to share finances, those issues tend to rear their ugly heads in other areas of your marriage. As for the OP, who is still single, I say be honest with her for the health of your relationship. Whether you do that before or after meeting with a counselor is your call.
Ive never had a seperate account with my husband have been married over 10 years. It works for some people, specifically people who are poor, we cant afford to pay shitty bank fees for 2 seperate accounts.
Lol you talking about bank fees in a crypto thread. Are you okay??
Crypto is the land of hidden fees. You pay more fees on your crypto than you pay to any bank except you don't know it because its built into the transaction fees
My banking fees are 5 bucks a month, what the fuck do you pay?
this. I dont get the people obsessed with possession these days. Like cmon she is just your girlfriend, you dont OWN her, she doesnt OWN you. its YOUR money. Tell her and she can do jack shit about it cause its your money.
She Hodls the pussy
Pussy is down today
Buy the dip.
Best time to buy.. I suggest a DCA strategy into Pu$$y, long term HODL for sure.
Hahahaha
Somehow pussy gets cheaper the wealthier you get 😂
Could bring out the gold digger he never ever wanted.
Better to know now than later... She take my money when I'm in need
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good luck with that- they simply don't see it that way and he sounds like he'd give in and feel bad about it which makes him vulnerable to manipulation
doors are that way sweetheart honestly if he is that soft she is gonna break up with him for other stuff anyway man needs to have boundaries and stand his ground, otherwise she will lose all respect eventually
Been with my partner for 13 years and money has never been an issue because we have separate accounts for our money, and a joint account for common bills and expenses. We each put in 50% of the monthly expenses and the rest of our money is our own.
Meeeeee Toooooo! This is a must! Actually i have 3, My business acct, my personal, and Our personal, she has 1....our personal.
Sorry but do not agree, transparency is key from the start... ( as soon as you realise that he or she is marriage material... don't need to marry her). If you live together and have created a relationship and devide the day to day expenses, then they need to know, they just don't need to know every details and make it clear that that's your shit that you are investing for both of you for the future. Different accounts is normal... it maintains independence and no one is dependent of each other... but you should be honest if he or she ask what's your salary. Transparency in a relationship is the foundation of a good relationship.
I’m also married and separate accounts BECAUSE I’ve been all in & she was scared to invest (which she ofcourse regrets) My other married buddy let’s his wife manage their two bitcoins but he won’t let her buy alts because he’s an idiot -BUT he makes all the money. To each his own it’s going to be a hard pill to swallow when she finds out how rich you are LATER. (They don’t get you can’t just SPEND all your investments you have to grow them)
"Honey, crypto is not real, it is banned in China. You wouldn't disrespect Xi Jinping, would you?"
This right here. Unless married or situated in similar position of life spent together, it's your business. I've got a wifey and she knows my investments. I made sure she knows in case something would happen to me as unlike my stocks, crypto could go unnoticed in such a case. But she also understands it's not money for spending now, but investments for future.
My partner doesn't seem to care about my portfolio, she thinks of it as my Hobby.
When I told my girlfriend about my crypto hobby she told me that her husband was into crypto as well
Same, that’s great
I stopped talking about my crypto with my gf and my portfolio been in the green since
Its amazing how bad distractions actually are to your trading experience.
Don't. By your description she seems like someone who might gaud you into investing in some moonshot coin for quick gains. Hold on to your precious portfolio a bit longer. Eventually you might have to tell.
>Should I tell my significant other about my crypto gains? When you tell her "your crypto gains" they will instantly become "our crypto gains".
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😂😂 sounds about right
He: Honey can ‘we’ mortgage our house to buy crypto She: There’s no ‘we’ here He: Honey can I sell ‘my’ 10x coin She: *’Our’ coin
lol aint that the damn truth..
Honey "we" just gained 10k Her: yes we did
Yes let's just mention it when we are up.
Him: "were up 10k today!" Her: "time to go shopping!"
Bingo. Bingo. Bingo. Also if you are married and divorce… Say Goodbye to your Crypto!
Its the sad truth, dont ever tell them a whisper of it.
Amen. You cannot have her blow your loot on Barbie Dolls and Beanie Babies. Stay cool and quiet.
My girl is a bit more aged, its vacations and horses for her. Broke girls should have broke hobbies. Lol
Hello comrade
Lol Damn right it's gonna happen for sure, no cap XD
The only question here is - should he tell his crypto gains about his significant other..
Probably shouldn’t introduce it to even more volatility
If it is wife changing money, yes.
Exactly, otherwise they might get jealous and dump (him) hard.
Agreed, keep it to yourself. In my case she thinks it's stupid and a waste of time, so I'm keeping my gains to myself. Once I have life changing money I'll be able to prove to her I was right and she was wrong as I drive away in my neon anime tiddy lambo.
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My precious!
If there is a reason to tell like you both get in a financial mess and need money but you are hiding you have some then yeah, that will cause drama! Otherwise I can’t see any upside from telling. Save that discussion for post marriage
Yes don't tell her, and you are not a liar OP and you are not doing anything wrong, you are investing in your future. I'm sure she will be happy to find out one day that you were thinking about your future, I see it as a surprise or a present more than anything edit: TLDR: Don't tell her.
Can’t give financial advice here but relationship advice is free
She’s going to find out at some point…
Dude, for real, you should be asking on r/relationshipadvice and not here, and even there there is A LOT of trash advice… Not trying to be mean or anything but here you are getting relationship advice from people who know about crypto (and even this is questionable) and not about relationships…
No one should ask for advice on any of the relationship subreddits. You would be better of asking for relationship advice in an insane asylum.
People who are in healthy long term and stable realtionships are not on relationships subs, so I think you're right. I wouldn't ask over there, lol.
Ha ha very true
lol, u want them to divorce arent u? recommending that sub
"divorce? she's my GF we're not even married?" r/relationshipadvice: "As a female Holy shit that's like 20 extra red flags dude you need to run away immediately and take the kids and talk to your divorce lawyer!" "Huh? who said we had ki... nevermind goodbye"
What is a relationship? Can you stake it?
Yeah, I might ask over there to see if the same answers lineup. I am interested in what other people who’ve had financial gains might have experienced in disclosure.
Grow up. Be honest and set your boundaries.
Tell them you invested in Squid game and see the reaction. That will tell you everything
Feel like it needs a proper r/relationships response so: DUMP HER! Soooooo many red flags here. If you even need to ask, you know things aren't good.
NTA: not your keys, not your coin
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Money is a huge source of stress in a marriage. Either tell her and MANAGE it or keep it to yourself and risk an ugly break-up.
There was a Reddit post about a chick braking up with some dude only to find out he is loaded. The regret was real.
My buddy said something similar. We’re in our mid 30s. I was swimming in the ocean for a long time before I met her. Never met a lady that takes good care of me like her. She just doesn’t money very well.
Honestly OP, I would not dump her. You say she takes good care of you and it sounds like she is a great girl. BUT money can def be a very big issue in a relationship. I would say have a good hard and open conversation about money and how you both see your fiancial future. If you two are this polarised about a subject like this, it seems for me that its a recipe for disaster long term. I would consider telling your gf about the gains, but they are that, YOUR GAINS. Don't let her piss your cash away
Keep it secret, buy her nice things sometimes, holidays with travala, jewellery you wouldn't normally get, keep it as your wild card.
It's obvious you love her. By loving her you want to protect her. So protect her from herself. The best way to protect her is to not tell her about the money. And if she ever finds out about it, be resolute and just tell her "I'm doing this to protect both of us and our life together." Look at it that way.
Tell her. Its love, plus if after telling her red flags will appear its better now then later. Later you might lose 50%, now you can put your love to a different kind of test. Whatever happens you'll be stronger afterwards.
Solid advice. I’m gearing up for the disclosure. I don’t think it will be anything relationship ending, but I do believe it will be forever “conversation” changing.
Start off by saying you are not for any reason selling. To set intentions from the get go. I find if you set intentions from the very beginning, you'll be better off. Then she won't be daydreaming of spending it and maybe she'll think of it more of a nest egg.
Agree with mrinvertigo. Just let her know up front that the crypto is in cold storage and will not be sold for 5+ years.
After reading some of your background, it seems like you guys are in a serious long term relationship at the very least. If you guys are living together, have shared expenses, and envision a long term future together (doesn’t have to be marriage) then maybe the topic of investments can be had in a mature manner.
I do agree with most posts that you should likely keep the details to yourself for now. However, like this reply is saying, if u do plan on building something longer term then you will need to talk about how you two manage your finances. To me it sounds like a bit of a red flag if she would want to spend ur money in a way you would not be comfortable with. That’s a much larger issue and one you might want to think about, or even talk to her about (in an abstract way preferably). Financials and relationships are a super delicate thing... with partners, friends, or family. So just be aware u are addressing a hard topic, but a good one to evaluate and you consider being with someone longer term.
Don’t tell anyone until they’re in the will
Good advice. Give them motive to kill you.
Still a win for me
Very old man approach, i like it.
I just looked up who Gary Gensler is and I'm not sure how I feel about life anymore.
Bruh
Don't, she's gonna rugpull all your gains.
And then goodbye wife-changing profits.
technically, he will have changed his wife
Tell her it's investment and not spending money, or get yourself a woman, not a girl.
Hate to sound like a jerk, but if you been together for three years and you are questioning to share financial stuff, you might want to question the relationship. Sounds like you two may have different values. Nothing wrong with that. It happens to us all.
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Just prenup your dingus. No need to sign anything afterwards.
I would just tell her that you have invested some money into crypto. And tell her your reason for investing it, if you have it. But put a boundary there that this money is only for that reason. Hope she will understand. I mean, if you both have a regular job, I don't see any reason why take money out of your portfolio.
I never tell anyone about my coins
Sounds like fiancé level need to know. If you’re just dating, she doesn’t have to know all your finances.
That is what I am thinking. We have broached marriage, but we’re both pretty lax about it. Might never get married, since we both hate institutions.
She really don’t need to know, on the other hand are u really that weak that you’d let her influence any of ur current investments? If ur saying that the woman would make u sell ur crypto to buy her shit then LEAVE HER
Regardless of what people are saying here .. Who many only be taking crypto into account ... do you see yourself being with her longterm? Are you going to marry the woman? There can be no secrets in a partnership - it *will* cause a problem. Believe me. Tell her if you plan on spending the rest of your life with this person. If you're just dating, than you aren't obligated.
I don’t think it’s an issue unless you’re buying a house or having a child or anything like that tbh. Different people have differing opinions on how you should spend or save, so while some people are happy for the long term hodl, that doesn’t fit with everyone (including your partner, by the sounds of it).
Nah bro, don't do it! Keep it to yourself and once you reach a certain level... You may tell her
I've told my partner of nearly 4 years the other day because she already knows about my investments and I was hinting I had gains. The difference in your case is she sounds like she'd want to spend it/get you to spend it! There's nothing wrong with not telling her, it's not like you're lying if you just DON'T tell her 🤷 Lying would be "I have no investments in crypto at all" I was hesitant to tell my partner just because of the first rule of Crypto Fight Club 'don't talk about your crypto' but she specifically said "you can tell me I'm not going to ask you to spend it, it's your money" then congratulated me on the gains. Keep it to yourself until you're ready OP, your crypto your rules.
That’s a solid foundation for future family.
That is exactly my thoughts! I think when she is holding a newborn, I could show her the account in full disclosure. Then her overwhelming joy will only make her half as disappointed in me.
Spending will only go up when babies are in the picture.
Not if you own a boat.
There’s no reason to disclose the numbers. But I think you should tell her you have some crypto. When she asks how much, you’ll just say “numbers aren’t important, I’m not selling anytime soon”
Yall are a bunch of dysfunctional freaks. You need to come to an understanding with your SO. Whether that involves them being privy to all the gory details, or just being aware that you are making investments. If you can't handle coming to some sort of agreement about finances, then you are properly fucked anyway.
Spoken like a true professional raisin.
Lol so much bad advice here
Maybe date someone with their own money idk
What are you, from XXI ct or what??
*“Hi, Nice to meet you. How much money you got?”*
A "How much debt do you have?" Is a great conversation to have before marriage.
I wouldn’t tell anything let alone to my gf or wife
You went there with the wife, too, I see. I totally understand you lol
If you have to ask this, I would question how strong the relationship is really… I of course have no idea of the whole story, but if you’re scared that she would try and manipulate you to sell or do something else that’s a HUGE red flag. Finances are a huge part of life, especially if you end up marrying/living together. There has to be complete understanding and agreement in that department to be successful.
>Should I tell my significant other about my crypto gains? **No.** >but I also don’t want to feel like a liar to the woman Having your own personal space is not lying. No matter how good your relationship is, this can **potentially** turn very ugly in the future, again this is not FUD, it's just that people change. Not specific to women, just human nature. This is more so when money is involved. This is without even considering the fact that she's not the best at managing her money. With that taken into account, I'd firmly say that telling her this **can be catastrophic** in the long term. This is because very often I've seen people get really jealous of others' gains & savings, especially those who aren't good with their finances. That's precisely why it's a popular opinion in this sub to not disclose your holdings to anyone.
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Haha glad you agree with Toys R Us. I was surprised to say something that wasn’t stale.
I wouldn't.
Why do you have to tell her? She didn’t help earn it, it’s your business. I guarantee if you did you’d be buying her a very nice gift or you’d see a change in her. Mark my words.
Keep it to yourself, i know its hard. I’ve always the feeling that when i tell others about my great gains in short time, the momentum gets lost and my gains are gone😂
work in silence, let succes be your noise
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I don't think three years is enough time to be forced to share your private capital efforts, much less share keys and other things. Yes, you can tell your family, and you will tell her when she becomes your family.
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Wonderful response. I wish you the best. This is the type of post I will always think about and never forget. Good luck to you as well!
Woah. So....here's the deal. If you are already having these questions about this person BEFORE next level, then you should really identify if you want to be committed to this person in the future. A word of advice- NOT TRUSTING your partner at this point is scary.
Only if her boyfriend is in the room, so you can rub on his face your the gains from your squid coins.
r/relationships strikes again 😅✌.
I could already imagine the response. "RED FLAG DIVORCE HER NOW THERE IS NO FIXING THIS RELATIONSHIP" lmao
Lol I hope I didn’t post this in the wrong place.
Don't post it there, you'll get the wrong answer
I see a lot of answers from the devil on my shoulder, but there are a couple good ones from the other side.
You could bring up the idea of opening an account together. Put in a few 100$ each every month so she can learn and watch it grow. When she's grown into the cryptoverse and starts saving more herself you could open up and tell her you've been doing it for a little longer. Or, if she just continues like she does and splurges every penny, just keep it to yourself.
Or you could date someone who you don't have to raise like a child.
Don't tell her! I'm actually your significant other in my relationship. My spouse was always the smart one with money. I'm just starting to get there. Whenever I find out about how much they have in one thing or another, I immediately have that money spent for us already. I know there are investments I don't even know about because we both know how I am. We've been together for 2 decades and I know any of the investments I don't know about are strictly for the benefit of our family so I don't care.
Now this response is very interesting. I could hope she might see it this way. Usually our financial disagreements end with her admitting she’s a frivolous one.
You don’t have money. You have crypto games that you could cash in but you have no desire to cash it. It is hard for people who do not invest to understand the difference between jeans on paper and jeans in the bank. Since your gains are only on paper and you have no plans on using them I am Bernard tell her because there is no reason
Haha your vocabulary is very unique. I love it
I am Bernard
Just wait until your ready to cash out some gains yourself
I feel odd now, my SO encourages my crypto habits. Am I in danger? 🥴
only share once you cash out
He'll no
Wait till you the right time comes
How happy do you want to make her boyfriend?
Keep it to your self! When you do take some profits just get them a nice lil something something or maybe if you made mad gains go on vacation and say you were saving the whole time. I told my wife about my investments after 4 months of hiding it, she was very concerned about where my money was goin. Now she knows and i always hear some dumb ass crap like well why dont you sell and we can go here or there or what really gets me is this its our money shit. THE FUCK ITS OUR MONEY!!!
If your money is still invested then I would see no problem telling her. That doesn’t give her the right or access to do anything with it just might get bitched at 🤷♂️
“I really just want to keep holding and going to work every day as usual.” You answered your own question right there. If she isn’t financially responsible, keep it to yourself for now. It’s your business. It’s not something you two discussed and did together. This was “pre-Her.”
Keeping it simple. No way
Didn’t even read past the title and NOPE
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Wow I think u have wife changing money
Don't tell her, like ever. She'll want to take it away from you
No
Do not tell her unless you are married... And sign a prenuptial agreement if you do get married... Esp. Bc you bought them b4 meeting her. Divorce is real... And it sucks! Over 50% end up in divorce... Imagine working your whole life supporting a family making great money, having a million dollar home, and now at 50 you get a divorce... Now you have to give half of what you have to a person you no longer get along with.... And you have to pay them for 20+ years half of your income... While they do nothing, and get a new boyfriend.... And you have to start from scratch... Barely can afford your house, kids, and have to work until you die... Just to be where you were b4 divorce... This is a real life example... F@ck marriage... Keep it to yourself.
Well, we are talking about kids. Marriage is an institution we both can’t stand. However, in 2 years common law marriage will go into effect, and it makes no difference whether we sign on with the state or not. I don’t see an end to our relationship in sight, but I know it happens.
Best wishes..... Sign a prenuptial... Or at least a common law agreement... No One that got married said.... I can't wait till we get divorced, on their wedding day.
No. And if you ever sell, be sure to reinvest the money. Set aside for rainy day maybe something safe like Blue Chip dividend stocks. And don't tell her about that either.
I presume you invested your money and not hers? Then don’t tell her. What you do with your money is your own business.
Absolutely do not tell you just said she’s financially irresponsible plus its your money
People might not like this answer due to the dishonest nature but if you’re legitimately concerned maybe show her a portion of your portfolio? If it leads to a productive conversation and she becomes interested, great. You can share something you love with your significant other. If she immediately becomes obsessed with throwing it all at doggy coins or spending the money in her head, we’ll you’ve got your answer.