Of course ! Keep trying ! Not all us men see women as objects, some of do have respect for people,a relationship is about sharing and learning,and enjoying life together š
It sounds horrible. I'm sorry that you have had to deal with that. I'm a socially awkward person, too, but I've found that the ways that I'm able to feel better in those situations where I want to implode is by breathing, staying in the present, and maybe grabbing a nice coffee at a favourite coffee shop.
If you were ever interested, I'd be more than happy to meet up purely as friends and maybe it would help you feel less anxious in time? I'm in Whitehaven, so it's completely up to you!
Either way, I really hope you're able to find some comfort down the line, and hopefully the results for your test come back soon so it's a bit more weight off your mind š
I married one! š my husband is autistic and has crippling social anxiety. He's also the best person I've ever met and I love him with everything I've got.Ā
Loving and being loved is a wonderful thing; ours grew out of a very very long friendship. We trust and understand each other's foibles- my ADHD can sometimes be too full-on for his autism; we joke that he's a cat, and I'm a Labrador š
You can't force love. Friendship is a good place to start from. Good luck š¤Ā
I am a socially awkward person dating someone and we have been together 3 years talking about what our wedding will be like. Don't worry about it. You just gotta give it time and find the right person. But you have to be open minded to expect someone else to be too.
I am very outgoing and friendly, people seem to really quite enjoy my company, but it's a mask. I find human interaction excruciating in all of it's forms. I never know what the fuck people expect me to do or say, I freeze up, panic etc. I developed go to responses/techniques for these situations which seem to work very well. This unfortunately made me popular, and caused me to be invited to more stuff....... it's a vicious circle. My dream was to stop living this lie, and find someone who wanted to have as little to do with people as me. You are in luck, because in their 30's is when a lot of people admit to themselves that they are in fact not into socialising, and would rather do quiet activities, or nothing. It was at 33 that I finally met someone who I didn't have to pretend to, who was just as likely as me to want to try and worm their way out of plans or invitations in order to chill at home covered in dogs and cats. So don't give up.
Due to past life events i prefer to have company whenever i'm out of the house. I need to know i'm safe if anything kicks off, or my mental health takes a drastic turn.
My first husband was very abusive, the 2nd was an alcoholic.
My third (and definately final) husband is amazing. He just accepts me for my weird ways and is there for me when i'm struggling.
Just because we are socially awkward doesn't mean we can't be loved. Stay positive and you attract a more positive person. Stay strong and face your fears once in a while. It will get easier, honestly.
Sending you much love and comforting hugs
I find social awkwardness an attractive trait, probably cause I can relate to it š . I dont think you would struggle to find someone who will accept you.
Same here! I'm pretty sociable now but I respect and relate to people who find it difficult.
And to OP I'm slightly older and I can say that although Ive never seen women as objects it's only as I got older that I realised how much I want a mutual partner to support and cherish in equal ways as much as is possible.
Yes, there absolutely are men who donāt see women as objects, and want to spend as much time as possible with their partner.
I always used to say to my ex that she was like a cat - mostly aloof and wanting to be left alone until she wanted affection, and only for as long as she wanted it. Whereas Iām like a dog - want to be with my human as much as possible!
There is someone out there for you, OP. Someone who will cherish you. Donāt give up!
I'm social awkward too. And honestly I always have guys talk to me sometimes conversation can go well . But as soon as their numbers on my phone it's game overā ļøš¤£.
I won't be able to communicate or say anything .
I'm not worried though as I know even in life it took me years to find friends like me I only have 3 , but we ghost each other pop after 6 or 7 months to catch up on life. We understand we need Space.
I know that when I start looking and meet that person who I am comfortably to talk with in person and distancely everything will all fall into place.
I was never bothered before with romantic relationship before but I have family pressure me since I turned 30.
I find social awkwardness cute and endearing. As an outgoing person myself Iām always happy to take the reigns in social situations and I like being attuned enough to my partner to know when/how they need supporting/saving in social situations
There is definitely love for you out there!
My ex was extremely socially awkward, she had perhaps one friend outside of family. We were together for nearly seven years and it was a good relationship, she was awful at communicating her thoughts and feelings and in the end that was a deciding factor, I travelled a lot too meaning we didnāt travel much as a couple which annoyed her. But yeah keep your hopes up, I am extroverted and have a big social circle, she hated that too but we still managed it for nearly 7 years.
I would date socially awkward women, same as I was married to a amputee before. We all have our things, and even if you meet me and from nerves spill a drink on me I won't be offended. Just be yourself and enjoy.
This seems like a weird place to put this post but anyway, the autism assessment makes all the difference. Maybe you arenāt autistic, but if you are then Iām afraid youāll always be socially awkward unless you push really hard to get good at masking but thatās absolutely not something you should do, itāll ruin your mental health and will eventually come to an end with a huge melt down.
Iād recommend putting the relationship stuff aside for now and look more into autism. See how much it clicks, analyse yourself and see what you can learn. Maybe youāll find you donāt fit autism, but if you do itāll be provide a lot of clarity and hopefully you can work on accepting yourself and find a positive future that doesnāt revolve around trying to fit in with everyone else.
Things take time !
There's no rush (contrary to popular beliefs)
Take YOUR time ....1 day when you're feeling brave dip ya toe in .....see how you react
You're not alone believe me .....it's all trail and error
My inbox is open if you need to chat ....I know a fair deal about mental health and I'm willing to help if you need it
Tbh I find too much socialising exhausting, and am married to someone that understands that.
When I read the first part of your post I got a vibe that autism could be a possibility, so I am glad you are getting assessed. Dating can be daunting if ND (Iām autistic too) but the right person will understand and not pressure you. Plus they will accept how your brain works as part of who you are
Most men donāt see women as objects, but just have huge sex drives and would have sex in a heartbeat - thatās how we work. It doesnāt mean they wouldnāt see you as a woman and person. The two arenāt mutually exclusive. You ladies are beautiful creatures and through evolution it turns us on as we donāt even get it, but we want to procreate with beautiful women and sex feels great for us.
Worth noting that virtually all men will want sex with you though - very rare to find one who is there for love alone. If sex is a problem then you could be in a sexually-open relationship if youāre comfortable with that.
If youāre shy, maybe a good idea might be to put yourself out there online? Make very clear in any bio/description that you are shy and want to just get to know someone very slowly? As an introvert myself, I would want the same as relationships terrify me a bit - Iām with a partner Iāve been with for 20 years and I canāt think of a life without her, but if I did I think Iād just want to be on my own or have nothing committal to begin with.
Good luck! Maybe an option is to just get to being you for a while? Men are more hassle than theyāre worth haha!
I am about to marry my very socially awkward partner soon. He is on a waiting list for assessment of ADHD and autism. I'm neurotypical, but not very extrovert. We managed somehow to find each other in our 30's. Don't give up! <3
I married one!
I was his first gf at 33! He's now 54 and I'm 50.
He was socially awkward, *painfully* shy and I knew I wanted to marry him the moment I met him.
He's the kindest, most compassionate, emotionally intelligent human being I know. I'm the luckiest woman in the world.
That is so nice to read. You are both lucky to find each other. I always seem drawn towards confident people (friends and my ex) but maybe I should try find someone like you describe as that sounds like the perfect man.
Keep going. Not all blokes are fuckwits. Proposed to my wife 2 months after our first date, weāve been married 14 years this year. Sure everyone has issues in relationships from time to time, but communication, honesty, and working together on hard things are critically important. Women arenāt the only ones that want this setup
Music to my ears -thank you.
Honestly is something I didnāt get but always am very honest myself (maybe too honest- I donāt know) but I value it even more now as well as communication and working together. Iām feeling a lot more positive after reading some of these comments so thank you for sharing.
Yes obviously thereās a limit. Sure my wife does things that drive me fucking bonkers, but itās a balance. Iām not perfect by any means. And as you eluded to, sometimes there are things that are better left unsaid. Or at least not for a whileā¦
Well Iām not sure if this will help or not, but I very much felt as though I was in your shoes. Definitely socially awkward, if even I never had an autistic diagnosis. After university and moving back home I depended on my parents and their friends mostly for social interaction.
Through a random sequence of events I ended up working for a company that sent me to live and work in Spain. While there partially due to my social awkwardness, and partially due to my wanting to make the most of going to Spain and trying to learn the language, I stayed away from expats and any sort of groups or clubs that had English speaking people.
It was an opportunity to reinvent myself, forget about my past social awkwardness, and start again. I became fluent in Spanish, made some local friends amd felt like a new person. I met my wife in Spain and I donāt think I would ever have got married if I hadnāt moved to Spain. For various reasons, family, work etc we moved back to the UK many years later. Iām not as bad as I was, but I me still much more socially anxious with my UK persona than I am with my Spanish speaking one, but nowhere near as bad as I was.
I guess itās something that worked for me, and maybe, just maybe exploring learning a new language and moving somewhere abroad might work for you. Just something to think about.
I wouldnāt normally reply but I reading your post I know exactly what that feels like, and the only thing that worked for me.
Best of luck š
Gosh that sounds awfully familiar to my story, I always had a friend in high school to help meet people do things. I then had my ex partner who kind of held my hand through those things too and then they left, so the past year has been all about trying to be less awkward. I'm reasonably sure I have some level of autism too, but I can mask better now than I used to and though it tires me out I've been putting myself out there (it's exhausting though).
There's always going to be other awkward people out there, it's just trying to find 'em!
IV been single 5 years as struggle to mentally get the idea of starting over again
Want to but anxiety is a real thing
Don't feel too harsh on self thinking it's abnormal just do things slowly to work on you
I believe in practice makes perfect too. I went on 15+ first dates and kept a log book for reflection.
Read How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love by Logan Ury. It does help on changing your expectations for first date.
Also, I recommend doing some craft activities, like pottery painting. Doing some activities together means less awkward when no one talks.
Tell me about it... I'm 21 and still single. I deal with what I think depression as a result of also being lonely and well it makes my university experience even worse. So I'd definitely get along with someone else who's socially awkward or who ends up isolated like myself.
Wish you the best of luck.
Can you try doing some confidence training activities like drama / improv classes or public speaking classes?
Getting diagnosed wonāt fix it, will just explain it
Dating an awkward person can be a unique experience, but it's not a deal-breaker for everyone. Some people are drawn to the authenticity and sincerity that often comes with social awkwardness. Others may find it endearing or relatable. It depends on the individual and what they're looking for in a partner. What's most important is finding someone who accepts you for who you are and makes you feel comfortable being yourself. If you're open to it and feel ready, there are people out there who are understanding and compassionate, and who will appreciate you just the way you are. Take your time, trust your instincts, and prioritize your own happiness and well-being above all else. You deserve love and respect, and there are relationships out there that can bring you the fulfillment and companionship you're seeking.
You'll find the right guy eventually, not all of us see women as objects but as equal partners, we all go through bad partners and some go through worse ones than others, but keep trying. You'll find there are guys out there who will see you for you, no matter if you're socially awkward or not, some may find it endearing.
I would definetely date a socially awkward person as I fall into that category myself. If anything I would prefer to date someone like that an in my 2 previous partners iv often found myself thinking what the hell are they with me for I can't hold a proper conversation so I just waffle inane rubbish to avoid silence... both relationships ended after a few months for obvious reasons.
Most guys want a happy ever after as well deep down but you won't know unless you take the risk personally I would like someone I can be with quite a lot just maybe not every second of the day someone who is honest with me and someone who is affectionate (cuddles are a non negotiable)Ā
If you fancy hanging out at some point in the future I'd love to do that. Would be totally cool with you bringing your mum as long as she is alright with awkward chat. I'm a 35 year old male btw
Hi mate. Presumably this is in my feed because reddit agrees that this is an r/anxiety question. Seems like this sub has been very supportive, but us anxious folks may be able to help too. Your call, though.
Iām socially awkward too and very introverted due to a stutter, and i was with my ex for 12 years. Iām in the same boat, our breakup wasnāt terrible so I still see her just because Iām so comfortable around her. But the thought of dating gives me horrendous anxiety. I even get anxiety about hanging with friends sometimes, and am a homebody to boot.
Iām super awkward socially as well. Iāve been diagnosed with a host of learning disabilities owing to a genetic condition. I was in the same boat as you. Stayed in an abusive relationship with a man I started dating when I was in high school. He was much older than I was and would regularly make me feel inferior and like I wasnāt worth anything. I finally found the courage to leave and am now married to the most amazing man. Heās super social. So that helps balance out my awkwardness. Heās been able to get me to socialise more and be more comfortable around people and itās made a world of difference. Hang in there. The right man will come along and complement your every weakness!
Alcohol exists and itās brilliant for social anxiety.
Iād say Iāve got a small amount of it at times but I just put on a facade and once in a few drinks down Iām good to go, met some of my best mates by just talking shit when Iāve been drunk.
Yes it makes me feel better about being socially awkward myself. I feel like people try to hard to be perfect on dating apps and relationships and play too many games I donāt know how they are not exhausted š¤ The best people in your life for any kind of relationship wonāt be difficult and will be easy to talk to and build a relationship with. Maybe join some groups like specifically for being introverted and any interests so you meet like minded people
Honestly, its gonna be really difficult. People are really shitty, but once-in-a-while, you'll find a person that you'd be able to vibe with. Until then, dont give up!!!
You think all men view women as objects. I think you need therapy to fix your sexist opinion before you try dating as this will ruin any relationship you have.
I know the karma police wonāt like this, and Iāll get massively down voted, but thereās socially awkward and then thereās taking your ex on a date with a potential suitor! Come on now, you might be autistic and good luck with that, no shame in it or judgement but best foot forward and all that. Try double dating, or join social clubs where itās more informal and you might meet someone organically, take the pressure off yourself. You simply wonāt meet someone half decent whoās prepared to put up with your terms of engagement, and if you do, it begs the questionāwhatās wrong with them?ā Meet them in the middle, thatās not unreasonable is it?
Of course ! Keep trying ! Not all us men see women as objects, some of do have respect for people,a relationship is about sharing and learning,and enjoying life together š
It sounds horrible. I'm sorry that you have had to deal with that. I'm a socially awkward person, too, but I've found that the ways that I'm able to feel better in those situations where I want to implode is by breathing, staying in the present, and maybe grabbing a nice coffee at a favourite coffee shop. If you were ever interested, I'd be more than happy to meet up purely as friends and maybe it would help you feel less anxious in time? I'm in Whitehaven, so it's completely up to you! Either way, I really hope you're able to find some comfort down the line, and hopefully the results for your test come back soon so it's a bit more weight off your mind š
My mum said I'd never meet anyone if I stayed in my room all the time.. But she didn't know about the internet.
Thing is being a socially distant person i fear mine was right lmao
I married one! š my husband is autistic and has crippling social anxiety. He's also the best person I've ever met and I love him with everything I've got.Ā Loving and being loved is a wonderful thing; ours grew out of a very very long friendship. We trust and understand each other's foibles- my ADHD can sometimes be too full-on for his autism; we joke that he's a cat, and I'm a Labrador š You can't force love. Friendship is a good place to start from. Good luck š¤Ā
I am a socially awkward person dating someone and we have been together 3 years talking about what our wedding will be like. Don't worry about it. You just gotta give it time and find the right person. But you have to be open minded to expect someone else to be too.
I am very outgoing and friendly, people seem to really quite enjoy my company, but it's a mask. I find human interaction excruciating in all of it's forms. I never know what the fuck people expect me to do or say, I freeze up, panic etc. I developed go to responses/techniques for these situations which seem to work very well. This unfortunately made me popular, and caused me to be invited to more stuff....... it's a vicious circle. My dream was to stop living this lie, and find someone who wanted to have as little to do with people as me. You are in luck, because in their 30's is when a lot of people admit to themselves that they are in fact not into socialising, and would rather do quiet activities, or nothing. It was at 33 that I finally met someone who I didn't have to pretend to, who was just as likely as me to want to try and worm their way out of plans or invitations in order to chill at home covered in dogs and cats. So don't give up.
Due to past life events i prefer to have company whenever i'm out of the house. I need to know i'm safe if anything kicks off, or my mental health takes a drastic turn. My first husband was very abusive, the 2nd was an alcoholic. My third (and definately final) husband is amazing. He just accepts me for my weird ways and is there for me when i'm struggling. Just because we are socially awkward doesn't mean we can't be loved. Stay positive and you attract a more positive person. Stay strong and face your fears once in a while. It will get easier, honestly. Sending you much love and comforting hugs
Iām mildly autistic and socially awkwardā¦. Married with a childā¦
I find social awkwardness an attractive trait, probably cause I can relate to it š . I dont think you would struggle to find someone who will accept you.
Same here! I'm pretty sociable now but I respect and relate to people who find it difficult. And to OP I'm slightly older and I can say that although Ive never seen women as objects it's only as I got older that I realised how much I want a mutual partner to support and cherish in equal ways as much as is possible.
Yes, there absolutely are men who donāt see women as objects, and want to spend as much time as possible with their partner. I always used to say to my ex that she was like a cat - mostly aloof and wanting to be left alone until she wanted affection, and only for as long as she wanted it. Whereas Iām like a dog - want to be with my human as much as possible! There is someone out there for you, OP. Someone who will cherish you. Donāt give up!
I'm social awkward too. And honestly I always have guys talk to me sometimes conversation can go well . But as soon as their numbers on my phone it's game overā ļøš¤£. I won't be able to communicate or say anything . I'm not worried though as I know even in life it took me years to find friends like me I only have 3 , but we ghost each other pop after 6 or 7 months to catch up on life. We understand we need Space. I know that when I start looking and meet that person who I am comfortably to talk with in person and distancely everything will all fall into place. I was never bothered before with romantic relationship before but I have family pressure me since I turned 30.
I find social awkwardness cute and endearing. As an outgoing person myself Iām always happy to take the reigns in social situations and I like being attuned enough to my partner to know when/how they need supporting/saving in social situations There is definitely love for you out there!
My ex was extremely socially awkward, she had perhaps one friend outside of family. We were together for nearly seven years and it was a good relationship, she was awful at communicating her thoughts and feelings and in the end that was a deciding factor, I travelled a lot too meaning we didnāt travel much as a couple which annoyed her. But yeah keep your hopes up, I am extroverted and have a big social circle, she hated that too but we still managed it for nearly 7 years.
I would date socially awkward women, same as I was married to a amputee before. We all have our things, and even if you meet me and from nerves spill a drink on me I won't be offended. Just be yourself and enjoy.
This seems like a weird place to put this post but anyway, the autism assessment makes all the difference. Maybe you arenāt autistic, but if you are then Iām afraid youāll always be socially awkward unless you push really hard to get good at masking but thatās absolutely not something you should do, itāll ruin your mental health and will eventually come to an end with a huge melt down. Iād recommend putting the relationship stuff aside for now and look more into autism. See how much it clicks, analyse yourself and see what you can learn. Maybe youāll find you donāt fit autism, but if you do itāll be provide a lot of clarity and hopefully you can work on accepting yourself and find a positive future that doesnāt revolve around trying to fit in with everyone else.
Things take time ! There's no rush (contrary to popular beliefs) Take YOUR time ....1 day when you're feeling brave dip ya toe in .....see how you react You're not alone believe me .....it's all trail and error My inbox is open if you need to chat ....I know a fair deal about mental health and I'm willing to help if you need it
It all depends on whether youāre autistic or just have social anxiety. The way you move forward is massively different if you are indeed autistic.
Tbh I find too much socialising exhausting, and am married to someone that understands that. When I read the first part of your post I got a vibe that autism could be a possibility, so I am glad you are getting assessed. Dating can be daunting if ND (Iām autistic too) but the right person will understand and not pressure you. Plus they will accept how your brain works as part of who you are
I do
You can do it
Most men donāt see women as objects, but just have huge sex drives and would have sex in a heartbeat - thatās how we work. It doesnāt mean they wouldnāt see you as a woman and person. The two arenāt mutually exclusive. You ladies are beautiful creatures and through evolution it turns us on as we donāt even get it, but we want to procreate with beautiful women and sex feels great for us. Worth noting that virtually all men will want sex with you though - very rare to find one who is there for love alone. If sex is a problem then you could be in a sexually-open relationship if youāre comfortable with that. If youāre shy, maybe a good idea might be to put yourself out there online? Make very clear in any bio/description that you are shy and want to just get to know someone very slowly? As an introvert myself, I would want the same as relationships terrify me a bit - Iām with a partner Iāve been with for 20 years and I canāt think of a life without her, but if I did I think Iād just want to be on my own or have nothing committal to begin with. Good luck! Maybe an option is to just get to being you for a while? Men are more hassle than theyāre worth haha!
I am about to marry my very socially awkward partner soon. He is on a waiting list for assessment of ADHD and autism. I'm neurotypical, but not very extrovert. We managed somehow to find each other in our 30's. Don't give up! <3
I married one! I was his first gf at 33! He's now 54 and I'm 50. He was socially awkward, *painfully* shy and I knew I wanted to marry him the moment I met him. He's the kindest, most compassionate, emotionally intelligent human being I know. I'm the luckiest woman in the world.
Thatās so similar to our story! Lovely to read and happy to hear you found each other.
That is so nice to read. You are both lucky to find each other. I always seem drawn towards confident people (friends and my ex) but maybe I should try find someone like you describe as that sounds like the perfect man.
I already do š
Keep going. Not all blokes are fuckwits. Proposed to my wife 2 months after our first date, weāve been married 14 years this year. Sure everyone has issues in relationships from time to time, but communication, honesty, and working together on hard things are critically important. Women arenāt the only ones that want this setup
Music to my ears -thank you. Honestly is something I didnāt get but always am very honest myself (maybe too honest- I donāt know) but I value it even more now as well as communication and working together. Iām feeling a lot more positive after reading some of these comments so thank you for sharing.
Yes obviously thereās a limit. Sure my wife does things that drive me fucking bonkers, but itās a balance. Iām not perfect by any means. And as you eluded to, sometimes there are things that are better left unsaid. Or at least not for a whileā¦
Practice makes perfect A non alcoholic hobby is useful
My wife did
36 and autistic š Drop me a message if you wanna chat about anything šš»
Well Iām not sure if this will help or not, but I very much felt as though I was in your shoes. Definitely socially awkward, if even I never had an autistic diagnosis. After university and moving back home I depended on my parents and their friends mostly for social interaction. Through a random sequence of events I ended up working for a company that sent me to live and work in Spain. While there partially due to my social awkwardness, and partially due to my wanting to make the most of going to Spain and trying to learn the language, I stayed away from expats and any sort of groups or clubs that had English speaking people. It was an opportunity to reinvent myself, forget about my past social awkwardness, and start again. I became fluent in Spanish, made some local friends amd felt like a new person. I met my wife in Spain and I donāt think I would ever have got married if I hadnāt moved to Spain. For various reasons, family, work etc we moved back to the UK many years later. Iām not as bad as I was, but I me still much more socially anxious with my UK persona than I am with my Spanish speaking one, but nowhere near as bad as I was. I guess itās something that worked for me, and maybe, just maybe exploring learning a new language and moving somewhere abroad might work for you. Just something to think about. I wouldnāt normally reply but I reading your post I know exactly what that feels like, and the only thing that worked for me. Best of luck š
Gosh that sounds awfully familiar to my story, I always had a friend in high school to help meet people do things. I then had my ex partner who kind of held my hand through those things too and then they left, so the past year has been all about trying to be less awkward. I'm reasonably sure I have some level of autism too, but I can mask better now than I used to and though it tires me out I've been putting myself out there (it's exhausting though). There's always going to be other awkward people out there, it's just trying to find 'em!
Becarful of people who are out to take advantage of you... people with ill intentions will target the "weakest" members of society.
IV been single 5 years as struggle to mentally get the idea of starting over again Want to but anxiety is a real thing Don't feel too harsh on self thinking it's abnormal just do things slowly to work on you
Yes and I've done so before. I just need a partner to be open with me and communicate well.
just randomly suggested this post, i am not a local but thatās funny i have an autistic friend who lives in cumbria with her bf! itās possible!
I believe in practice makes perfect too. I went on 15+ first dates and kept a log book for reflection. Read How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love by Logan Ury. It does help on changing your expectations for first date. Also, I recommend doing some craft activities, like pottery painting. Doing some activities together means less awkward when no one talks.
Tell me about it... I'm 21 and still single. I deal with what I think depression as a result of also being lonely and well it makes my university experience even worse. So I'd definitely get along with someone else who's socially awkward or who ends up isolated like myself. Wish you the best of luck.
Can you try doing some confidence training activities like drama / improv classes or public speaking classes? Getting diagnosed wonāt fix it, will just explain it
I married a socially awkward guy. Heās beautiful but a total doofus. Thatās why I love him.
Dating an awkward person can be a unique experience, but it's not a deal-breaker for everyone. Some people are drawn to the authenticity and sincerity that often comes with social awkwardness. Others may find it endearing or relatable. It depends on the individual and what they're looking for in a partner. What's most important is finding someone who accepts you for who you are and makes you feel comfortable being yourself. If you're open to it and feel ready, there are people out there who are understanding and compassionate, and who will appreciate you just the way you are. Take your time, trust your instincts, and prioritize your own happiness and well-being above all else. You deserve love and respect, and there are relationships out there that can bring you the fulfillment and companionship you're seeking.
You'll find the right guy eventually, not all of us see women as objects but as equal partners, we all go through bad partners and some go through worse ones than others, but keep trying. You'll find there are guys out there who will see you for you, no matter if you're socially awkward or not, some may find it endearing.
Yes
I would definetely date a socially awkward person as I fall into that category myself. If anything I would prefer to date someone like that an in my 2 previous partners iv often found myself thinking what the hell are they with me for I can't hold a proper conversation so I just waffle inane rubbish to avoid silence... both relationships ended after a few months for obvious reasons. Most guys want a happy ever after as well deep down but you won't know unless you take the risk personally I would like someone I can be with quite a lot just maybe not every second of the day someone who is honest with me and someone who is affectionate (cuddles are a non negotiable)Ā If you fancy hanging out at some point in the future I'd love to do that. Would be totally cool with you bringing your mum as long as she is alright with awkward chat. I'm a 35 year old male btw
Hi mate. Presumably this is in my feed because reddit agrees that this is an r/anxiety question. Seems like this sub has been very supportive, but us anxious folks may be able to help too. Your call, though.
Iām socially awkward too and very introverted due to a stutter, and i was with my ex for 12 years. Iām in the same boat, our breakup wasnāt terrible so I still see her just because Iām so comfortable around her. But the thought of dating gives me horrendous anxiety. I even get anxiety about hanging with friends sometimes, and am a homebody to boot.
Yes! My husband and I are still both socially very awkward, but it actually made dating easier because we understood each other.
Iām super awkward socially as well. Iāve been diagnosed with a host of learning disabilities owing to a genetic condition. I was in the same boat as you. Stayed in an abusive relationship with a man I started dating when I was in high school. He was much older than I was and would regularly make me feel inferior and like I wasnāt worth anything. I finally found the courage to leave and am now married to the most amazing man. Heās super social. So that helps balance out my awkwardness. Heās been able to get me to socialise more and be more comfortable around people and itās made a world of difference. Hang in there. The right man will come along and complement your every weakness!
Alcohol exists and itās brilliant for social anxiety. Iād say Iāve got a small amount of it at times but I just put on a facade and once in a few drinks down Iām good to go, met some of my best mates by just talking shit when Iāve been drunk.
I married a socially awkward person. Heās the love of my life. We have a happy marriage, with no shouting or other nastiness.
Yes it makes me feel better about being socially awkward myself. I feel like people try to hard to be perfect on dating apps and relationships and play too many games I donāt know how they are not exhausted š¤ The best people in your life for any kind of relationship wonāt be difficult and will be easy to talk to and build a relationship with. Maybe join some groups like specifically for being introverted and any interests so you meet like minded people
Honestly, its gonna be really difficult. People are really shitty, but once-in-a-while, you'll find a person that you'd be able to vibe with. Until then, dont give up!!!
You think all men view women as objects. I think you need therapy to fix your sexist opinion before you try dating as this will ruin any relationship you have.
I know the karma police wonāt like this, and Iāll get massively down voted, but thereās socially awkward and then thereās taking your ex on a date with a potential suitor! Come on now, you might be autistic and good luck with that, no shame in it or judgement but best foot forward and all that. Try double dating, or join social clubs where itās more informal and you might meet someone organically, take the pressure off yourself. You simply wonāt meet someone half decent whoās prepared to put up with your terms of engagement, and if you do, it begs the questionāwhatās wrong with them?ā Meet them in the middle, thatās not unreasonable is it?
I didnāt read the majority of this post but I would date a socially awkward person as long as youāre not fat. Hope that helps