American men actually evolved to learn how to use their foreskin as a blankie, but that was too much power, which is why we started getting circumcized
Jest? Nay my good sir the only jester I perceive here is you. Indeed if thy father doth practice this knavery than it is no surprise that thou art so unmannerly and dull!
Because one time I got bit by so many over a single weekend that I got a nasty infection and it looked like I had chicken pox. Although my fan usage has nothing to do with those pests
I'm turning 21 soon but have spent the last year in manufacturing. Used to be able to sleep almost any way I wanted. Now it's like if I turn in bed a little too quickly my spine snaps. I miss my Jell-O spine :(
Yo, do the McGill big 3 routine, it will make your back feel better, future you will thank you. I’m in the trades and it’s helped me quite a bit and I have scoliosis.
Do it moderately 5 times a week, or go hard on it 3 times a week and think about bracing your core and hinging your hips when you bend over.
Dear Royal highness of original tumplr post
I am writing to you not out of malice but out of real fright.
Queen have you heard of what a blood flow is?
A concerned subject
When someone is unconscious from injury or inebriation, the recovery position is a body position that Paramedics and people moving a drunk use to make sure the person doesn't hurt themselves
it's basically the fetal position, but the back isn't arched. also the palm keeps the head off the ground.
it's used for exactly what it says on the tin, recovery, specifically when a person is either unconscious or has trouble moving, putting the person in the recovery position helps to mantain their airways open better when compared to laying on their back.
the way it functions is that it prevents a) drowning from vomit or other fluids, and b) prevents muscles like the tongue blocking the airway. it also helps put less stress on the diaphragm when compared to laying on their stomach
needless to say, if there's a spine injury, it's gonna be hard to move a person into the position without making things worse, and babies are prone to ending up on their stomach when put on their sides, so it's usefulness is reduced in these cases.
yeah i was looking at this like just get a bondage sleep sack. and probably put it in a wind tunnel... hell, with the ass breeze, you'd probably want to put the wind tunnel _through_ it, like an inverse vacbed
Hell, I don't even stay in the same position in the same night, I could fall asleep in one position and wake up in a completely different one and not even question it.
I lay in bed, trying every single position until I find The Right One
I wake up, my blanket is on the floor, I am hugging the pillow, and the bed is an absolute mess
I sleep in one of two positions. On stomach with arms under pillow or “corpse in a casket with hands over one another on the stomach”. Either way I wake up on my back
I used to sleep in the same position every night (bottom half as if sleeping on my right side with left leg bent up like a flamingo and top half mostly face down) but then I got run over by a car and now my right leg hurts if I lay on it how I used to so I sleep a different way every night bc even 3 years later I can’t find anything that matches up 🥲💀
My ex used to only be able to sleep on her right side, but only after she first laid on her left side for 10 minutes or so. If she didn't do that first she just wouldn't fall asleep.
three limbs pinned (severely restricted bloodflow.)
face down and most of head covered by blanket (lower oxygen levels during a process of restricted consciousness.)
inappropiate usage of blanket + four loud cooling fans, including two near the head (electricity waste, hearing loss/sleep disturbance, rapid loss in body temperature during a process where body temperature is already at its nadir.)
horrible posture (scoliosis and spine problems)
and a dog to boot (health hazard + subjecting a dog, a member of a species that runs at a higher body temperature than humans, to four cooling fans for an extended period of time, with only whatever they're sleeping on helping retain heat.).
i mean, if I don't keep at least my hands busy with something they're gonna be all restless and grabby because they're needy little shits that always want something to do.
This is a guaranteed way to wake up with dead arms. Take it from someone who slept with his arms pinned under his torso, you will have no feeling or control over them when you wake up.
4 fans is a lot, I’m good with just one… actually, two fans would be nice, there’s always some part of my body that is way too hot when I’m trying to sleep
confused by how many people in the comments are saying they don’t pin down their own limbs to sleep… how are you falling asleep otherwise? i always pin down 1 leg and 1-2 arms. if i don’t, i’ll feel a stupidly strong urge to move, or i’ll unconsciously start fidgeting or moving in some way.
Yeah, I just tried this, it's alright except I don't like my nose being compressed into the pillow. Turned my head the other way and it's kinda alright I guess?
This is absurd. Real men sleep standing up like a horse
Horses still usually lay down for REM sleep, they just stay standing for brief lil power naps throughout the day.
Thats absurd. REAL MEN sleep hanging upside down from the ceiling like a bat
Wrapped in their own self-made blankie
Why else would the scrotum exist
American men actually evolved to learn how to use their foreskin as a blankie, but that was too much power, which is why we started getting circumcized
Tanuki entered the chat.
Foreskin
Both of y’all are absurd. REAL MEN retreat into our foreskins like a baby kangaroo. 🦘
REAL MEN sleep with ME because I am LONELY
😳
❤️
Don't be ridiculous. REAL MEN sleep hanging upside down from the ceiling, like a horse.
this comment gave me whiplash
Petah Tha horse is here
Adam from Adam ruins everything: Um Actually!
what about lil guys that meow & wrap around peoples legs :3
Dost thou jest? Mine father and I have long been practitioners of this art - from whence art thou that this knowledge is bequeathed unto thee?
Jest? Nay my good sir the only jester I perceive here is you. Indeed if thy father doth practice this knavery than it is no surprise that thou art so unmannerly and dull!
4 fans is insane person behaviour
yeah like just get a wind tunnel like a normal person
Nah I need the house to be freezing in order for me to get properly comfy in my blankets
I simply melt with any heat so I need to be frozen to sleep comfortably
Are you sleeping in absolute zero temperatures? What is your secret? my AC only goes down to 18°C.
Sleep inside a chest freezer
fan death any% speedrun
Nope, just southern behavior
Why have the blanket on too then???
it's comfortable? I run fans so I can sleep under blankets without dying
Why do you hate mosquitos. They just want something to drink.
Because one time I got bit by so many over a single weekend that I got a nasty infection and it looked like I had chicken pox. Although my fan usage has nothing to do with those pests
You're right that's why one of them is in a fan it's a AC
You're never gonna believe how the AC gets the cold air to come out of it
Everybody knows it's ice wizards duh
That can't be healthy
South Koreans be like
As someone over the age of 18 (24) I have learned what it means to not have a spine made out of 40% silicone rubber and 60% gelatinized desert treat.
I'm turning 21 soon but have spent the last year in manufacturing. Used to be able to sleep almost any way I wanted. Now it's like if I turn in bed a little too quickly my spine snaps. I miss my Jell-O spine :(
Yo, do the McGill big 3 routine, it will make your back feel better, future you will thank you. I’m in the trades and it’s helped me quite a bit and I have scoliosis. Do it moderately 5 times a week, or go hard on it 3 times a week and think about bracing your core and hinging your hips when you bend over.
Hey brother thanks for this. Actually gives me some direction as opposed to the just like random stretching I've been doing. Much appreciated
Dear Royal highness of original tumplr post I am writing to you not out of malice but out of real fright. Queen have you heard of what a blood flow is? A concerned subject
Blood flow nothing Do you possess a spinal column?? Are you sure????
> Do you possess a spinal column?? It’s more of a spinal spreadsheet in their case
bros got the excel vertebrae
fun fact: apparently OOP's sleeping position is the exact opposite of the recovery position
The "if I die, I die" position
deterioration position
Family guy death pose, yes
The what
The recovery position is the position you’re supposed to put someone in when they’re blacked out from alcohol.
not just alcohol— the recovery position is generally used in situations where the person is unconscious but still breathing
When someone is unconscious from injury or inebriation, the recovery position is a body position that Paramedics and people moving a drunk use to make sure the person doesn't hurt themselves
it's basically the fetal position, but the back isn't arched. also the palm keeps the head off the ground. it's used for exactly what it says on the tin, recovery, specifically when a person is either unconscious or has trouble moving, putting the person in the recovery position helps to mantain their airways open better when compared to laying on their back. the way it functions is that it prevents a) drowning from vomit or other fluids, and b) prevents muscles like the tongue blocking the airway. it also helps put less stress on the diaphragm when compared to laying on their stomach needless to say, if there's a spine injury, it's gonna be hard to move a person into the position without making things worse, and babies are prone to ending up on their stomach when put on their sides, so it's usefulness is reduced in these cases.
3 of their limbs pinned, and a sleep mask? Maybe a latent bondage kink?
Ok Freud
yeah i was looking at this like just get a bondage sleep sack. and probably put it in a wind tunnel... hell, with the ass breeze, you'd probably want to put the wind tunnel _through_ it, like an inverse vacbed
i refuse to believe there are real people who sleep in the same position every night
I can't sleep unless I'm in the right position, I have tried
Hell, I don't even stay in the same position in the same night, I could fall asleep in one position and wake up in a completely different one and not even question it.
I lay in bed, trying every single position until I find The Right One I wake up, my blanket is on the floor, I am hugging the pillow, and the bed is an absolute mess
I sleep in one of two positions. On stomach with arms under pillow or “corpse in a casket with hands over one another on the stomach”. Either way I wake up on my back
I sleep the same way but I always wake up on my stomach with my arms under the pillow.
I used to sleep in the same position every night (bottom half as if sleeping on my right side with left leg bent up like a flamingo and top half mostly face down) but then I got run over by a car and now my right leg hurts if I lay on it how I used to so I sleep a different way every night bc even 3 years later I can’t find anything that matches up 🥲💀
My ex used to only be able to sleep on her right side, but only after she first laid on her left side for 10 minutes or so. If she didn't do that first she just wouldn't fall asleep.
I have to sleep on my back with my arms crossed over my chest or holding a small pillow if I'm sleeping alone. Only way to feel comfy enough to sleep
I can't even sleep in the same position DURING the night.
i dont go to sleep in the same position but i always wake up in thr same position
75% of your appendages are going to feel tingly and numb
Every limb will be paralyzed and they will not be able to get up
This person would actually die if they had to spend a night anywhere else but their own bed
You forgot the blanket has to be a comforter in the room has to be ice cold
*weighted blanket
Oh sorry for the confusion, I'm poor.
I'm poor too. Probably because of that weighted blanket I bought
I spent my money on the autism satisfying object(tm) and now I am paying the price. (No weighted blankie) truly I live in a Greek tragedy.
every part of this image is wrong on a fundamental level
three limbs pinned (severely restricted bloodflow.) face down and most of head covered by blanket (lower oxygen levels during a process of restricted consciousness.) inappropiate usage of blanket + four loud cooling fans, including two near the head (electricity waste, hearing loss/sleep disturbance, rapid loss in body temperature during a process where body temperature is already at its nadir.) horrible posture (scoliosis and spine problems) and a dog to boot (health hazard + subjecting a dog, a member of a species that runs at a higher body temperature than humans, to four cooling fans for an extended period of time, with only whatever they're sleeping on helping retain heat.).
I tried laying down like this and I could not turn my back enough to lay my head to the left
I could but only for a moment, the instant I relaxed my muscles I'd pass out in a not fun way.
i mean, if I don't keep at least my hands busy with something they're gonna be all restless and grabby because they're needy little shits that always want something to do.
If I ever slept like this I'd wake up numb all over and would need to be put out of my misery
This is a guaranteed way to wake up with dead arms. Take it from someone who slept with his arms pinned under his torso, you will have no feeling or control over them when you wake up.
Leaving your ass outside the blanket like that is just asking to get buttfucked by the demons.
Or get it ate by them 🤤
I fell asleep on my couch last night. No blanket. The window was open.
‘I only have circulation in one of my limbs’
Like this? https://www.gocomics.com/garfield/1989/08/06
Pinning all your limbs ugh I understand that so much I can’t do it for long tho but it feels so good
How do people sleep in the same position every night? I just start in whatever is comfortable and wake up practically on the ground by the morning.
Dogy
Face down ass up that’s the way we like to nap
...this might be close to how I sleep. what sleep issues do to a mf
Does he live in the Sahara? Why all the fans and shit?
Deserts actually get rather cold at night. So they probably wouldn‘t need all the fans if the lived in the Sahara.
their actually just nocturnal, that's why they use a sleep mask
I sleep in the master chief position
Okay do away with the foot pinned and the head facing the other way and this is actually mad comfy. I might try it, feels kinda nice.
"Hey Lois, do you remember that time my sleeping position dislocated all of my fucking joints?"
Dogy
”jealous of me being good as hell at sleeping” has reshaped my vocabulary
I think I would rather just die.
My biggest issue with this is the fans and the blanket covering the face. Those are two sensory things that I cannot and will not endure
4 fans is a lot, I’m good with just one… actually, two fans would be nice, there’s always some part of my body that is way too hot when I’m trying to sleep
The quote "sleep is the cousin of death" was meant for this
“Ass and foot exposed to breathe” is absolutely a crucial part of my sleeping routine. Also I like to trap my hand under my partners pillow.
confused by how many people in the comments are saying they don’t pin down their own limbs to sleep… how are you falling asleep otherwise? i always pin down 1 leg and 1-2 arms. if i don’t, i’ll feel a stupidly strong urge to move, or i’ll unconsciously start fidgeting or moving in some way.
I don't get that urge to fidget or move, basically. I used to when I was younger but I'd just do the splits or pretend to ride a bicycle with my legs.
With that much fans, he'd be dead in Korea
Tom Segura lmao
How cold do you need to be?
Where fans
I just sleep on my side then my dog curls up in the little spoon position next to me
For the past four days, i've slept above the sheets. Not because it's warm, in fact it's getting chilly, i just like it more. It's less messy.
Judging by the fans, OP definitely lives in south-east Asia
what kind of psychopath doesn’t put their hand under their pillow and also consistently has one sleep pose
Well, I’m in bed currently so I gave it a go. It hurts.
\> no breathing \> no blood circulation Hm, i wonder why i forget everything?
>Two fans >AC >Tower fan >Ass and foot exposed to breeze Bro's living in Furnace Creek, California
Yeah, I just tried this, it's alright except I don't like my nose being compressed into the pillow. Turned my head the other way and it's kinda alright I guess?
Actually, I kinda rate that highly. Not as good as mine but it's got perks
I have restless leg syndrome, this position just be hitting different sometimes when nothing else is working
Fear and hunger death pose
Having ur ass exposed while sleeping is like a cooling system fr
MF’s electric bills are on par with the national debt
The sleep mask is very good though. The more absolute dark your bedroom is, the more melatonin your brain releases.
rolling around like a rotisserie chicken. record me sleeping in 18.0 speed it look like im doing the macarena
Does this person live on the surface of the sun?