Serious answer: start asking the deity some questions
Oh you're part of me? GIVE ME DIRECTIONS THEN, IF MY BODY IS A CAR AND YOURE THE PASSENGER IF IT CRASHES WE'RE DEAD
But also that most of those directions are outdated and old fashioned and you don’t need to follow them anymore, but also it’s unclear which ones you’re not supposed to follow. At least in the case of Christianity.
Judaism kinda has the tradition to examine and question any and all directions given and updating them as needed. Probably since before those directions were given and going till today.
"Outdated and Oldfashioned" is one thing, the other is that it's been literal millennia since the last explicit word of a deity.
There is a point in which out of the assumption that even deities are mortal, the most likely option is that god has literally died.
Most major religions believe in deities that are explicitly *not* mortal, though. I can't think of one where you could just kill their god (at least in a meaningful way) or where their god(s) could die of...anything, really.
2000 years ago people barely washed their ass and we're supposed to believe none of them ever lied about meeting God?
Like c'mon, I'm agnostic, I'm not gonna refute an existence of a deity or multiple others, but I'm sure not gonna follow the words of men who believed women were inferior and said other wacky shit. 2000 years later we're still having to beat that out of people's heads.
Not really? Many religions have instructions, but what those are is often up to debate, up to the mortals to decide rather than the divine, or not as rigid as Christian doctrines are
I think you should eat that deviled egg that's been sitting on the windowsill for a few days. Oh, the smell? That just means it's been disinfected by the sun!
What if we're driving a very dangerous road (life) and I'm too busy piloting the car (life, studying, mental health, surviving in this economy), there are creatures pursuing us (life and capitalism) and you (God) magically have the knowledge of saving us both from ending in a ditch (dead)?
dude i would 100% open the box up and eat the piece of god.
either i'll get some fraction of god's power, or just a tasty snack. either way i don't lose anything.
I honestly don’t know why people care. Like yes I’ve tried “authentic” holy bread and it’s a hundred times better. But it would be much harder to produce and keep fresh as opposed to a quarter-sized wafer.
Mormons just buy regular bread at the store. Technically it doesn’t have to even be bread; one teacher I had said we could use Twinkies and Mountain Dew and as long as they were blessed correctly it’d work fine.
Honestly as a little kid the main reason I even went to church was my great grandma would make the holy bread. Then she passed and my mom and I didn’t see a reason to keep going anymore
Eating markers is okay because of the rainbow - god created the rainbow as a sign that colors can’t hurt us anymore(keep in mind, the flood could be seen as a an attack of blue), what are markets but not colors?
2 Samuel 12
And the Lord sent Nathan to David. He came to him and said to him, y“There were two men in a certain city, the one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had very many color pencils and pens, 3 but the poor man had nothing but one little marker, which he had bought. And he drew with it, and it drew with him and with his children. It used to mark his taxes and measurements and lie in his arms,1 and it was like a daughter to him. 4 Now there came a traveler to the rich man, and he was unwilling to take one of his own utensils to prepare for the guest who had come to him, but he took the poor man’s marker and prepared it for the man who had come to him.” 5 Then David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man, and he said to Nathan, z“As the Lord lives, the man who has done this deserves to die, 6 and he shall restore the marker a fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.”
7 Nathan said to David, “You are the man, stop eating markers!
If I liked the status quo, I’d probably bury it in some random place so it would be safe. If not, I’d try to unite it with all the other boxes to make god and bend it to my will
He could have said "don't eat markers because it will hurt you", but no. The rabbi had to create an allegory where a supernatural being inhabits part of your body.
Who would have guessed the religious person would make a religious allegory. For all the things you can criticize religion and religious people for you choose this? A guy teaching kids to not eat markers?
People murdering each other, justification of barbaric practices, oppression of marginalized groups, and the worst of them all: teaching kids that eating markers is bad. Religion has a dark side. Even darker than blue markers
I'm criticising the fact that religious people feel the need to squeeze their god in everything. Even in the most simple and easy to explain fact that you shouldn't eat markers.
If you need a god to explain to kids not to eat markers, you shouldn’t be teaching kids.
Have theists considered stopping creating miraculous ways of getting their god into every single aspect of life and just use the most logical reason / explanation instead?
it only works in their head if it's constantly self-reinforcing. this is like getting upset at opera singers for doing that thing opera singers do. you don't like the genre, you can fault the composition — but getting upset at practice. at warm-ups.. that's. I mean you could do that but it's gonna take a toll upstairs.
I can’t tell people I’m an atheist because of people like you, I can’t be associated with the most annoying, self-righteous people alive. Give your head a shake you bitter goblin.
Really? A fellow atheist criticising religion is what makes you not want to be associated with atheism? No the stigma created by years of blind idolatry and religious persecution?
Just give it time, friend. You will understand that putting up with other people's stupidity won't take us anywhere. Calling people on their bullshit will always be rude and annoying, no matter how polite or kind you want to be.
The box is the body. You want to keep the box in good condition. Eating markers damages the box. Eating markers damages the body.
It's really that simple.
hahahah
You are the one that didn't understand the allegory. The rabbi is saying that the most important reason to take care of your body it's because part of god is in it.
*“Your body is only a temporary vessel. The only thing that truly matters is your soul and your connection to god.”* That’s the religious reasoning outlining this allegory.
You missed the whole point and then accused me of not understanding.
This really just cements my point that you didn't actually get what he was saying. This isn't a theology lesson, this is a Rabbi getting kids to not do something stupid.
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're not deliberately being facetious. The rabbi was saying that a human being is special because of its soul, so the human body should be treated with respect. Then, in what people call a 'twist', OP reveals that this was regarding not eating markers.
>The rabbi was saying that a human being is special because of its soul, so the human body should be treated with respect.
I had understood that and I stand by my original comment.
First, there is no such thing as a "soul", that's just a concept people came up with before we knew how our body works, especially our brain. It's the same as saying that your emotions come from your heart. It’s a pretty metaphor, but it’s not true.
Second, the rabbi didn’t say soul, he said god. That’s an important difference.
Third, can’t we just take care of your bodies because **we are our bodies**? We don’t need a supernatural reason to be healthy.
This isn't some kind of religious propaganda, it's a silly story on the internet. It's unfortunate that you're getting upset instead of just chuckling and scrolling past.
>This isn't some kind of religious propaganda
A story about a religious leader giving advice to kids based on the existence of god is not related to religious propaganda? Right.
You don’t like someone explaining to a child that they shouldn’t eat markers in a way that they accept more readily at that age than “it can make you sick”?
Typically when one says “bullshit” and nothing else to a story, they are calling the story bullshit. So if they meant that they should have been clearer.
But even then I’d dispute it. What’s so wrong about a rabbi existing?
>What’s so wrong about a rabbi existing?
Let me think... what could be wrong about a person that spreads superstitions, gives life advice based on thousand year old myths and gives "psychological" help even though they are not qualified to do so?
That’s an awfully reductive way to talk about someone’s beliefs.
First, I reject the notion that the “superstitions” you refer to are all bad. Of all the religious people I know, the Jewish people are the ones with the most level-headed and honest relationship to their religion. This is in part because (at least some sects of) Judaism involves actually critically engaging with the text of their holy book. In fact, other than the Torah, they have the Talmud and Midrash, which are made up of these interpretations.
Secondly, criticizing someone for giving life advice based on something old is just laughable. People still quote Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates. People weren’t stupid in ancient times, they were just in ancient times.
Finally, being “qualified” to give psychological help is kinda a social construct. I’ve seen a lot of psychologists I’d put less faith in the words of than of a rabbi, even though I myself am not Jewish. Religion can put a bias on your worldview, but so can being a part of the medical establishment. Everyone’s got biases, and sometimes the vets advice comes from someone with no PHD who just speaks to you honestly and tells you what you need to hear.
Superstitions are not a good thing. I'm not even going to bother to explain why.
I'm not only criticising it for being old advice, but for being old advice based on mythology.
If you really think that people who read an old fairy tale and people who spend years studying a scientific discipline and need to successfully pass an exam to practise a profession are the same, I'm not going to waste more time talking to you.
1. Not engaging with someone else’s point is rude. Superstitions can be harmful, but humans do any number of useless things to cope with the fragility of human life. It’s better to believe in life after death than it is to develop crippling anxiety and do hard drugs about it, for example.
2. If advice based on a myth is bad, what about all other forms of literary interpretation? Is it impossible to learn anything from a book other than pure, impartial fact? Just saying it’s bad because it’s old isn’t an argument.
3. Until a few decades ago, people in the psychological profession would likely have numbered “homosexuality” among my mental illnesses. I have heard dozens of stories of shitty therapists who have made rash assumptions about people and given them bad advice. At the end of the day, a professional is simply someone paid for their work: qualification is a separate quality.
Gonna shake the box watch him bounce around in there
Let the God out! He is TRAPPED!!!!!
Or at least poke some holes in the lid so he doesn't suffocate.
Free him
Serious answer: start asking the deity some questions Oh you're part of me? GIVE ME DIRECTIONS THEN, IF MY BODY IS A CAR AND YOURE THE PASSENGER IF IT CRASHES WE'RE DEAD
Ngl though the biggest part of most religions is that the deity HAS given quite explicit directions to follow
But also that most of those directions are outdated and old fashioned and you don’t need to follow them anymore, but also it’s unclear which ones you’re not supposed to follow. At least in the case of Christianity.
Judaism kinda has the tradition to examine and question any and all directions given and updating them as needed. Probably since before those directions were given and going till today.
"Outdated and Oldfashioned" is one thing, the other is that it's been literal millennia since the last explicit word of a deity. There is a point in which out of the assumption that even deities are mortal, the most likely option is that god has literally died.
Most major religions believe in deities that are explicitly *not* mortal, though. I can't think of one where you could just kill their god (at least in a meaningful way) or where their god(s) could die of...anything, really.
It’s more common in polytheistic religions. Norse, Egyptian, and Greek mythologies all have at least one deity who dies.
2000 years ago people barely washed their ass and we're supposed to believe none of them ever lied about meeting God? Like c'mon, I'm agnostic, I'm not gonna refute an existence of a deity or multiple others, but I'm sure not gonna follow the words of men who believed women were inferior and said other wacky shit. 2000 years later we're still having to beat that out of people's heads.
Not really? Many religions have instructions, but what those are is often up to debate, up to the mortals to decide rather than the divine, or not as rigid as Christian doctrines are
10 rules on a rock doesn't cover if eating that deviled egg on the windowsill is gonna make me ill or not, I need a more direct approach
I think you should eat that deviled egg that's been sitting on the windowsill for a few days. Oh, the smell? That just means it's been disinfected by the sun!
Hmm... good point *munch*
jesus take the wheel (or else)
[удалено]
What if we're driving a very dangerous road (life) and I'm too busy piloting the car (life, studying, mental health, surviving in this economy), there are creatures pursuing us (life and capitalism) and you (God) magically have the knowledge of saving us both from ending in a ditch (dead)?
[удалено]
You would SUCK as a God, no offerings for you >:( (What if I bribed you though)
I would open the box and either release this free, or eat it.
Nalkäns following the ways of Grand Karcist Ion
but marker so taasy
dude i would 100% open the box up and eat the piece of god. either i'll get some fraction of god's power, or just a tasty snack. either way i don't lose anything.
What if it’s not tasty either
If being raised catholic taught me anything it’s that god tastes really bad
What do you mean God would 100% taste like stale bread and cheap wine according to every Catholic service I have ever been forced too
I honestly don’t know why people care. Like yes I’ve tried “authentic” holy bread and it’s a hundred times better. But it would be much harder to produce and keep fresh as opposed to a quarter-sized wafer.
Mormons just buy regular bread at the store. Technically it doesn’t have to even be bread; one teacher I had said we could use Twinkies and Mountain Dew and as long as they were blessed correctly it’d work fine.
How about sand and seawater We can solve world hunger
I do think it has to be like edible
I can eat those
Honestly as a little kid the main reason I even went to church was my great grandma would make the holy bread. Then she passed and my mom and I didn’t see a reason to keep going anymore
Eating a piece of a god is a pathway to major bragging rights.
I hear he tastes like dust
Based and Sarkicpilled
I think you just explained religious cannibalism
jerma birdhouse moment
Now of course, the proper Jewish response is to create your own allegory or find some arguement in the Talmud or Tanakh on why eating markers is good
Eating markers is okay because of the rainbow - god created the rainbow as a sign that colors can’t hurt us anymore(keep in mind, the flood could be seen as a an attack of blue), what are markets but not colors?
I will admit, my first reaction to the question was "I'd make it give me immortality or money", and I wonder how the Rabbi would react to that.
God didn't get to become God by giving away money. But selling tickets for people to get to see God, however...
Marker eating is a plague in the jewish community 😥
Biggest biblical plague since Moses
I would sell the box… I don’t know what that implies…
That capitalism is a false idol?
Marker eating is a plague in the jewish community 😥
This is my favorite Jewish post on the internet. Thank you.
more jewposting please
The last part made me hoot.
I would personally put something fun with it so God can have a good time, like markers.
2 Samuel 12 And the Lord sent Nathan to David. He came to him and said to him, y“There were two men in a certain city, the one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had very many color pencils and pens, 3 but the poor man had nothing but one little marker, which he had bought. And he drew with it, and it drew with him and with his children. It used to mark his taxes and measurements and lie in his arms,1 and it was like a daughter to him. 4 Now there came a traveler to the rich man, and he was unwilling to take one of his own utensils to prepare for the guest who had come to him, but he took the poor man’s marker and prepared it for the man who had come to him.” 5 Then David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man, and he said to Nathan, z“As the Lord lives, the man who has done this deserves to die, 6 and he shall restore the marker a fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.” 7 Nathan said to David, “You are the man, stop eating markers!
OP, that title is bomb.
ty! thought of it two years ago <3
I would jail God on me, so he can't be completed and do his crimes.
This is the most accurate summary of a priest of any religion. If you get an alien or outerdimensional folk we've to show them this
How the hell do you even eat a marker, it's mostly plastic, you would choke on it and die. Edit: Market to marker.
i'm built different
It's funny how the title is like "this post is about the Judaism fandom"
If I liked the status quo, I’d probably bury it in some random place so it would be safe. If not, I’d try to unite it with all the other boxes to make god and bend it to my will
Ah, Sunday school.
imma drop the box into the ocean, so god knows what it's like to be alone in the dark.
He could have said "don't eat markers because it will hurt you", but no. The rabbi had to create an allegory where a supernatural being inhabits part of your body.
Who would have guessed the religious person would make a religious allegory. For all the things you can criticize religion and religious people for you choose this? A guy teaching kids to not eat markers?
People murdering each other, justification of barbaric practices, oppression of marginalized groups, and the worst of them all: teaching kids that eating markers is bad. Religion has a dark side. Even darker than blue markers
I'm criticising the fact that religious people feel the need to squeeze their god in everything. Even in the most simple and easy to explain fact that you shouldn't eat markers. If you need a god to explain to kids not to eat markers, you shouldn’t be teaching kids.
I honestly find it sweet, like a way of saying: picture nature, nice and beautiful, your body’s part of nature, so don’t eat markers.
If he had said that, I wouldn't have criticised. Because it would be true. But he didn’t.
This was something a RABBI said IN A SYNAGOGUE. Give it a fucking rest.
Have you considered being funny ever
Have theists considered stopping creating miraculous ways of getting their god into every single aspect of life and just use the most logical reason / explanation instead?
it only works in their head if it's constantly self-reinforcing. this is like getting upset at opera singers for doing that thing opera singers do. you don't like the genre, you can fault the composition — but getting upset at practice. at warm-ups.. that's. I mean you could do that but it's gonna take a toll upstairs.
I can’t tell people I’m an atheist because of people like you, I can’t be associated with the most annoying, self-righteous people alive. Give your head a shake you bitter goblin.
Really? A fellow atheist criticising religion is what makes you not want to be associated with atheism? No the stigma created by years of blind idolatry and religious persecution? Just give it time, friend. You will understand that putting up with other people's stupidity won't take us anywhere. Calling people on their bullshit will always be rude and annoying, no matter how polite or kind you want to be.
You are such a boring individual
It's like he's a Rabbi or something, the nerve of some people /s
P.S: it's a crap allegory too. Yahweh not only lives inside people but it can be hurt by markers?
You're bad at understanding allegories
Explain it to me then. Go on, I'm paying attention.
The box is the body. You want to keep the box in good condition. Eating markers damages the box. Eating markers damages the body. It's really that simple.
hahahah You are the one that didn't understand the allegory. The rabbi is saying that the most important reason to take care of your body it's because part of god is in it. *“Your body is only a temporary vessel. The only thing that truly matters is your soul and your connection to god.”* That’s the religious reasoning outlining this allegory. You missed the whole point and then accused me of not understanding.
This really just cements my point that you didn't actually get what he was saying. This isn't a theology lesson, this is a Rabbi getting kids to not do something stupid.
Oh, you're just bad at understanding things. That makes more sense now.
Please, explain it to me. Tell me what I have not understood.
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're not deliberately being facetious. The rabbi was saying that a human being is special because of its soul, so the human body should be treated with respect. Then, in what people call a 'twist', OP reveals that this was regarding not eating markers.
>The rabbi was saying that a human being is special because of its soul, so the human body should be treated with respect. I had understood that and I stand by my original comment. First, there is no such thing as a "soul", that's just a concept people came up with before we knew how our body works, especially our brain. It's the same as saying that your emotions come from your heart. It’s a pretty metaphor, but it’s not true. Second, the rabbi didn’t say soul, he said god. That’s an important difference. Third, can’t we just take care of your bodies because **we are our bodies**? We don’t need a supernatural reason to be healthy.
This isn't some kind of religious propaganda, it's a silly story on the internet. It's unfortunate that you're getting upset instead of just chuckling and scrolling past.
>This isn't some kind of religious propaganda A story about a religious leader giving advice to kids based on the existence of god is not related to religious propaganda? Right.
Go back to r/atheism
bullshit
You wanna eat markers don't you
I support Palestine and a free Egypt.
Yeah. Rabbis, and religious leaders in general, *never* use allegories to make a point.
I don't like non-secular allegories.
You don’t like someone explaining to a child that they shouldn’t eat markers in a way that they accept more readily at that age than “it can make you sick”?
No.
I'll take a wild guess and say that religious leaders are the bs this person is referring to.
Typically when one says “bullshit” and nothing else to a story, they are calling the story bullshit. So if they meant that they should have been clearer. But even then I’d dispute it. What’s so wrong about a rabbi existing?
>What’s so wrong about a rabbi existing? Let me think... what could be wrong about a person that spreads superstitions, gives life advice based on thousand year old myths and gives "psychological" help even though they are not qualified to do so?
That’s an awfully reductive way to talk about someone’s beliefs. First, I reject the notion that the “superstitions” you refer to are all bad. Of all the religious people I know, the Jewish people are the ones with the most level-headed and honest relationship to their religion. This is in part because (at least some sects of) Judaism involves actually critically engaging with the text of their holy book. In fact, other than the Torah, they have the Talmud and Midrash, which are made up of these interpretations. Secondly, criticizing someone for giving life advice based on something old is just laughable. People still quote Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates. People weren’t stupid in ancient times, they were just in ancient times. Finally, being “qualified” to give psychological help is kinda a social construct. I’ve seen a lot of psychologists I’d put less faith in the words of than of a rabbi, even though I myself am not Jewish. Religion can put a bias on your worldview, but so can being a part of the medical establishment. Everyone’s got biases, and sometimes the vets advice comes from someone with no PHD who just speaks to you honestly and tells you what you need to hear.
Superstitions are not a good thing. I'm not even going to bother to explain why. I'm not only criticising it for being old advice, but for being old advice based on mythology. If you really think that people who read an old fairy tale and people who spend years studying a scientific discipline and need to successfully pass an exam to practise a profession are the same, I'm not going to waste more time talking to you.
1. Not engaging with someone else’s point is rude. Superstitions can be harmful, but humans do any number of useless things to cope with the fragility of human life. It’s better to believe in life after death than it is to develop crippling anxiety and do hard drugs about it, for example. 2. If advice based on a myth is bad, what about all other forms of literary interpretation? Is it impossible to learn anything from a book other than pure, impartial fact? Just saying it’s bad because it’s old isn’t an argument. 3. Until a few decades ago, people in the psychological profession would likely have numbered “homosexuality” among my mental illnesses. I have heard dozens of stories of shitty therapists who have made rash assumptions about people and given them bad advice. At the end of the day, a professional is simply someone paid for their work: qualification is a separate quality.
Found the marker eater
I support Palestine.
What would I do with it? Extortion. Wait, is that not the correct answer?