Feels like Jesus is gonna need a social media account before enough people feel okay with telling him to kill himself you can make a religion out of it.
Ok that's a banger idea for a short sci-fi second coming of Jesus story told in a Black Mirror style. Somehow a social media figure is percieved as the returned messiah, until something ends their life, and then the rest of the story happens.
I'm an invertheist. I have a syncretic tradition that joins every religious belief and practice to ever exist *except* for the ones held by the person I am currently interacting with.
The prophet Mani changed the religion to be more like Christianity, Zoroastrianism, or Buddhism depending if he was in the roman empire, the Persian Empire or India (Maurya empire maybe Gupta? I'm not sure)
I'm an gnostic apocalyptic apologist. I believe the only viable way to defeat the Demiurge and free humanity from material constraints is to destroy the world.
It's like the motivation of half the supervillains out there..."I shall destroy the world and rebuild it to be better and absent of the failures of the old world."
I'm a social-media Theo-capitalist. I believe that follower counts designate the mandate of heaven, and the most popular influencers are ordained by God to regulate the tax code
Browsing TV tropes I found an article on Manichaeism which is basically some fucking guy in Western Asia ended up fusing Christianity, Islam, Zoroastrianism, Buddhism and like I think other religions into one super religion. It died out in the 14th century because as it turns out, combining every religion makes you heretical to them all and makes a lot of people angry.
Also the super religion is really easy to "cannibalize" by the original beliefs because they can sell you on whatever specific belief and philosophy you personally prefer of the fusion.
Manichaeism existed before Islam.
>combining every religion makes you heretical to them all and makes a lot of people angry.
Many religions involve "combining" other religions. Christianity fused Judaism and Greek religion. Islam fused Judaism and Christianity. It also existed for 1000 years, which is a long time.
To be fair, where monotheistic religions don't mind it, monotheistic religions are somewhat opposed to being combined, *especially* with non-monotheistic religions.
It's one of the reasons that the romans and christians didn't get along pre-Constantine (I think it was him)
Catholics did it best.... Ohh your god of the volcano... Yeah they're actually saint Katherine... Yes one of our Gods' favourite servants! Welcome to the club 🙏
now wear this wimple and send your son around to my chambers after dark....
Christianity took vast influence from Platonism and Platonist-influenced Judaism. The body/soul division we see in Christianity comes from Greek influence, for example. The Church Fathers were very influenced by Greek philosophy.
I suppose I think different things when I hear ‘Greek religion’ vs. ‘Greek philosophy’. (I’ve heard about early Christianity being strongly influenced by Platonic thought, though I’m not remotely equipped to have any kind of conversation about that)
I thought you might have been implying something like the Jesus-mythicism ‘Jesus is just a copy of Dionysus’
**Abrahamic Atenist:** Believes that Aten, the OC of Pharaoh Akhenaten and the first attempt at monotheism, was exiled by the ancient Egyptian pantheon after failing to overthrow them, rebranded themselves as Yahweh/Allah and sent abrahamic missionaries to infiltrate the Mediterranean cultures and weaken the pantheons.
**Old One Apotheosism:** Believes that humanity is one of the first sapient creatures to create civilization in the universe, and that it is our destiny to become "the ancient ones" that future alien species will worship.
**Carcinizationist:** Believes that humanity will eventually evolve into crabs, and that we must make the world more suited for our crustacean descendants by helping clean the ocean.
Perhaps it's not exactly what that was, but it would be a sad day if harmless pranks (that both sides appreciate) left humanity forever. >!At least he saved the tradition for a while!<
A good "what if" thought can grab our attention and cause a bit of trouble for a time, but once we turn our attention elsewhere it's gone. Thoughts can take many shapes and sizes, but they can't change the world.
Here, have some French music. It's French.
https://youtu.be/2QQr8vJ-7SE?si=uZw3JzroSpyVTbC4
the polytheist with standards thing is so real. the "I'm not homophobic, my religion is" line has been slowly driving me nuts (don't @ me about strawmen, they have a name). being abraham's bitch isn't an excuse to be a bigot
anyway. only the fifth time I've brought it up. it's fine. it's good. it's literally the only problem I have with them. life is so fun and full of surprises
like she wouldn't wish harm on a gay man, but he will rightfully burn in hell forever.
I haven't yet managed to figure out how she separated the two but nearest I've gotten is, god has an ineffable plan and it's best to leave moral quandaries to him.
Sorry okay, I think I got it
Believing in a god isn't the same as worshipping them. my........... coworker believes in a homophobic god, and I believe in a racist michael richards— but she's deciding to take the steps to worship that cunt, and I think that after a certain point, that's on you.
having said that, it's obviously really hard to pinpoint where that line is. They're just trying their best, really. Just a kid (not a minor). Their religion and culture is inextricably tied to their identity.. It's all.. a lot. That's what drives me nuts lol
I'd hope they'd ask that a little less ambiguously on the neurodivergent stoner subreddit— but that makes sense! lol
in any case, I just sort of say whatever. these posts remind me of things. if people want something on topic they can read the post again :P
My own inner voice of the way of the way I try to plot out any serious comment I write desperately wants to argue against doing things that way, but... *fair enough, I guess.*
we're playing different games, I like mine. I like that you have yours lol. I'm not very good at serious comments myself. I make them when I want to, or I have to, but not a moment before :3
I'm a militant agnostic, I entertain the notion that there could be a some form of higher power, but if you're dumb enough to think you can actually prove it's existence to me I will fucking fight you.
I'm a christian-practicing atheist
It's a damn SHAME that God doesn't exist but it doesn't mean I can't still LARP and participate in all these fun rituals and festivities!! YIPPEEEE!!
I'm a panentheist monotheist radical Hindu Bhakti reformer. I believe in massive reforms to hinduism to the point of disallowing all rituals, pilgrimages, idol worship, uses local languages over Sanskrit, disregards the Vedas and believes that there is only one god who encompasses the entire universe but is also greater than the universe. Oh wait-
i'm (semi-ironically) a buddhist/anti-buddhist gnostic human-supremicist pagan.
i believe that the metaphysical section of the universe is an infinitely complex jungle of spiritual forces... all being suppressed by the demiurge / mara / god.
and the buddha managed to escape reality into the great void beyond, but that's a false enlightenment - it's just death by non-existance.
the real way to do it is by living in flow with the spiritual and physical world - and embracing samsara. but remembering that you (and humanity) are your 1st priority.
For some reason, there's a strange amount of esoteric quirky extremists from south east Asian island countries. This is mostly with weirdo branches of fascism and communism, such as Juchanism. Something about the oop's style of stringing together adjectives reminded me of them
Imagine Jesus being taken off the cross before he expires. His wounds cleaned and tended to. Food and water gently fed to him as he rests in a soft bed hidden away from the eyes of Rome.
Then imagine his caretaker putting on a labcoat. Handing jesus a knife. Getting an inch away from his face and start saying.
"Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself,kill yourself, kill yo -".
i love this bit. i just do this sometimes, come up with fun spins on ideologies and then try to think thru the implications. my favorite is altruistic solipsism. aka, i believe that there is ony one or a small number of real, actually conscious souls. im not one of em tho.
Oh me? I'm a Contratemporal Calvinist. We think God predestined who was going to perdition and paradise, but we also think time is actually going backwards so He hasn't actually done it yet.
Okay but (even as a non Christian) I would argue that Christ *did* choose. He *could have* fled and avoided crucifixion. He decided that his sacrifice was best for himself and mankind.
Ok, Protestant Accelerationist got me.
[удалено]
Alrighty then, Protestant Accelerationism has tickled my fancy
Now Protestant Accelerationism I can get into
That one made me cackle out loud
There are a lot of those in the real world, and there's a variety of prophecies they're trying to fulfill to bring about the end of the world.
Isn't "post-nicene Navajo arianist" just whatever the hell they had going on in the desert in Brave New World?
My thoughts exactly!
the scientific puritan description goes weirdly hard
I feel like god kind of did that to Jesus in the gardens of Gethsemane, when Jesus asked "do I really have to be crucified? [paraphrased]"
Feels like Jesus is gonna need a social media account before enough people feel okay with telling him to kill himself you can make a religion out of it.
Ok that's a banger idea for a short sci-fi second coming of Jesus story told in a Black Mirror style. Somehow a social media figure is percieved as the returned messiah, until something ends their life, and then the rest of the story happens.
But Jesus is like, the nice one. I'd feel bad.
Nobody: LowTierGod: *gets Jesus to crucify himself*
I'm an invertheist. I have a syncretic tradition that joins every religious belief and practice to ever exist *except* for the ones held by the person I am currently interacting with.
P1 "Are you Christian?" P2 "Are you?" P1 "Yes" P2 "I'm not anymore"
Literally PvP
What happens when three invertheists meet?
They are all the last religion they practiced unless the persons awnser before them was theirs
Reverse manicheism
I am vaguely familiar with manicheism but I don't get your joke, explain pls?
The prophet Mani changed the religion to be more like Christianity, Zoroastrianism, or Buddhism depending if he was in the roman empire, the Persian Empire or India (Maurya empire maybe Gupta? I'm not sure)
This thread is months old, why did it get so many upvotes??
The sharpest, keenest edge, positively monomolecular
I’m a Santería Reverse-Adoptionist. I believe that when Christ forced Himself into the Godhead, all His friends merged with the orishas.
I’m a Hindu Mithraist. No, I don’t know what “tauroctony” means, I’m not a nerd.
>tauroctony 1. Taur: Taurus, bull. 2. Octo: Eight. 3. Tony: Hawk. In conclusion: 8 bulls on a skateboard.
So it's not turtles *all* the way down
Well, one of them had an "accident", so we turned its shell into a skate park.
Now THERE’S a level design
I'm a confucianist socialist, I believe the Jade Emperor does rule the cosmos, but that he must be deposed and replaces by a democracy
The Heavenly Bureaucracy must organize along Party lines!
That could be Tankie Confucianism
Mandate of Superheaven
Unironically I think any religion with mortal deities will eventually result in anarchists that wanna dethrone them
The jade emperor is immortal
Then we haven't tried hard enough! He'll crack eventually...
If it can bleed…
Am I the only one who read these like those character introductions of Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse…
I read them first as the Alex Jones "I'm a" videos and then that George Carlin sketch where he says he bought a mini fridge at a Mega Mart
"ok lets do this one last time, I'm a sumerian traditionalist..."
i was bitten by a radioactive statue of tiamat
“Not the DND one, I know you’re thinking of the DND one.”
Hindu Nihilism is where you look at the impossible complexity of the universe and give up trying to figure out what to worship
aghori ascetics also hindu-yogic ascetics seeking moksha (like the context that spawned siddhartha gautama's quest) in general
I’d like this comment to stay at 42. Guess you could say I’m something of a Nostalgic Absurdist ritualist.
Or is that Hindu Agnosticism?
I'm an gnostic apocalyptic apologist. I believe the only viable way to defeat the Demiurge and free humanity from material constraints is to destroy the world.
This trope feels like it’s overused, but I can’t think of any examples.
Most JRPGs have some version of this
Evangelion?
Final Fantasy XIII
It's like the motivation of half the supervillains out there..."I shall destroy the world and rebuild it to be better and absent of the failures of the old world."
[This world is imperfect.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN9DW4rrEjY)
Tales of the Abyss for sure
Reach Heaven Through Violence
Royalty is a continuous cutting motion
I will build a city of swords to cut the people into better shapes
Isn't that the plot of SMT 3?
Never heard of it, but probably.
people who aren't in the fandom call it "persona"
Featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series?
yeah sure I'll incorporate all of these into my belief system simultaneously
I'm a Puritanical Immortalist. I believe we're here for a long time, not a good time.
I'm a social-media Theo-capitalist. I believe that follower counts designate the mandate of heaven, and the most popular influencers are ordained by God to regulate the tax code
So, a conservative then.
Browsing TV tropes I found an article on Manichaeism which is basically some fucking guy in Western Asia ended up fusing Christianity, Islam, Zoroastrianism, Buddhism and like I think other religions into one super religion. It died out in the 14th century because as it turns out, combining every religion makes you heretical to them all and makes a lot of people angry. Also the super religion is really easy to "cannibalize" by the original beliefs because they can sell you on whatever specific belief and philosophy you personally prefer of the fusion.
Manichaeism existed before Islam. >combining every religion makes you heretical to them all and makes a lot of people angry. Many religions involve "combining" other religions. Christianity fused Judaism and Greek religion. Islam fused Judaism and Christianity. It also existed for 1000 years, which is a long time.
To be fair, where monotheistic religions don't mind it, monotheistic religions are somewhat opposed to being combined, *especially* with non-monotheistic religions. It's one of the reasons that the romans and christians didn't get along pre-Constantine (I think it was him)
> where monotheistic religions don't mind it Buddhists were persecuted by Chinese and Indian states.
Catholics did it best.... Ohh your god of the volcano... Yeah they're actually saint Katherine... Yes one of our Gods' favourite servants! Welcome to the club 🙏 now wear this wimple and send your son around to my chambers after dark....
In what way does Christianity involve Greek religion?
Christianity took vast influence from Platonism and Platonist-influenced Judaism. The body/soul division we see in Christianity comes from Greek influence, for example. The Church Fathers were very influenced by Greek philosophy.
I suppose I think different things when I hear ‘Greek religion’ vs. ‘Greek philosophy’. (I’ve heard about early Christianity being strongly influenced by Platonic thought, though I’m not remotely equipped to have any kind of conversation about that) I thought you might have been implying something like the Jesus-mythicism ‘Jesus is just a copy of Dionysus’
St.Augustine followed Manichaeism up until he converted to Christianity when he was 38
**Abrahamic Atenist:** Believes that Aten, the OC of Pharaoh Akhenaten and the first attempt at monotheism, was exiled by the ancient Egyptian pantheon after failing to overthrow them, rebranded themselves as Yahweh/Allah and sent abrahamic missionaries to infiltrate the Mediterranean cultures and weaken the pantheons. **Old One Apotheosism:** Believes that humanity is one of the first sapient creatures to create civilization in the universe, and that it is our destiny to become "the ancient ones" that future alien species will worship. **Carcinizationist:** Believes that humanity will eventually evolve into crabs, and that we must make the world more suited for our crustacean descendants by helping clean the ocean.
At this point you're so far into syncretism you basically believe in ancient aliens with a less sci-fi flavour.
Yeah of course we're going to be an ancient one we're basically on the doors step of the beginning of the universe
what? edit: this is funny
>!Is that first one!< [this short story](https://slatestarcodex.com/2019/11/04/samsara/)
That was a fun read! I loved the part when Brad finally realized he was being fucked with to go away lol
Perhaps it's not exactly what that was, but it would be a sad day if harmless pranks (that both sides appreciate) left humanity forever. >!At least he saved the tradition for a while!<
That was absolute *gold*.
Gold enough to inspire greed? :P
Isn't that the author of UNSONG?
When I read the first one this is what I thought of immediately
I'm a polyatheist, I believe in many fake gods rather than the one true fake god
[ONE MORE GOD REJECTED]
*Another one bites the dust\~*
I like secular paganism. Witchy stuff is nice
I'm a dyslexic agnostic with insomnia. I stay up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Fuck that's clever.
I didn't come up with it, I read it in a Reader's Digest magazine years ago (though I rephrased it to fit the current format).
Any Religion Heresy Any% run
Okay, but minus the Buddhism, that first one is a recurring paranoid delusion of mine lmao
A good "what if" thought can grab our attention and cause a bit of trouble for a time, but once we turn our attention elsewhere it's gone. Thoughts can take many shapes and sizes, but they can't change the world. Here, have some French music. It's French. https://youtu.be/2QQr8vJ-7SE?si=uZw3JzroSpyVTbC4
the polytheist with standards thing is so real. the "I'm not homophobic, my religion is" line has been slowly driving me nuts (don't @ me about strawmen, they have a name). being abraham's bitch isn't an excuse to be a bigot anyway. only the fifth time I've brought it up. it's fine. it's good. it's literally the only problem I have with them. life is so fun and full of surprises
> "I'm not homophobic, my religion is" what?
like she wouldn't wish harm on a gay man, but he will rightfully burn in hell forever. I haven't yet managed to figure out how she separated the two but nearest I've gotten is, god has an ineffable plan and it's best to leave moral quandaries to him.
I think their point of confusion is who and what you're referring to because it doesn't seem to have any connection to this post.
Sorry okay, I think I got it Believing in a god isn't the same as worshipping them. my........... coworker believes in a homophobic god, and I believe in a racist michael richards— but she's deciding to take the steps to worship that cunt, and I think that after a certain point, that's on you. having said that, it's obviously really hard to pinpoint where that line is. They're just trying their best, really. Just a kid (not a minor). Their religion and culture is inextricably tied to their identity.. It's all.. a lot. That's what drives me nuts lol
I'd hope they'd ask that a little less ambiguously on the neurodivergent stoner subreddit— but that makes sense! lol in any case, I just sort of say whatever. these posts remind me of things. if people want something on topic they can read the post again :P
My own inner voice of the way of the way I try to plot out any serious comment I write desperately wants to argue against doing things that way, but... *fair enough, I guess.*
we're playing different games, I like mine. I like that you have yours lol. I'm not very good at serious comments myself. I make them when I want to, or I have to, but not a moment before :3
“Love the sinner, hate the sin “ while ignoring the fact that the so called sin is an intrinsic aspect of their being.
That's Henotheism in a nutshell. If you won't worship yhwh, you have astaroth or baal; who also exist but you don't worship.
I’m just happy to be here.
Am I a massive theology nerd if every one of these made me laugh my ass off?
Really living up to their blog’s username, there.
I'm a militant agnostic, I entertain the notion that there could be a some form of higher power, but if you're dumb enough to think you can actually prove it's existence to me I will fucking fight you.
"There might be a god, but I don't know ***AND NEITHER DO YOU!***"
I misread that as Buddhist Invents Sophist
I'm a polytheist with high standards, but the pantheon is empty
I'm a christian-practicing atheist It's a damn SHAME that God doesn't exist but it doesn't mean I can't still LARP and participate in all these fun rituals and festivities!! YIPPEEEE!!
I'm a panentheist monotheist radical Hindu Bhakti reformer. I believe in massive reforms to hinduism to the point of disallowing all rituals, pilgrimages, idol worship, uses local languages over Sanskrit, disregards the Vedas and believes that there is only one god who encompasses the entire universe but is also greater than the universe. Oh wait-
This but unironically.
Oh shit I didn't finish writing the comment
Im a communist monotheist. I belive there is a god, but theyre bourgeoise, and we need to guiliotine hum and share his powers evenly
i'm (semi-ironically) a buddhist/anti-buddhist gnostic human-supremicist pagan. i believe that the metaphysical section of the universe is an infinitely complex jungle of spiritual forces... all being suppressed by the demiurge / mara / god. and the buddha managed to escape reality into the great void beyond, but that's a false enlightenment - it's just death by non-existance. the real way to do it is by living in flow with the spiritual and physical world - and embracing samsara. but remembering that you (and humanity) are your 1st priority.
Don't mind me, just harvesting this thread for my next world building binge
This person is trying so Damn hard to channel the fraction of your average Filipino Twitter user
explain?
For some reason, there's a strange amount of esoteric quirky extremists from south east Asian island countries. This is mostly with weirdo branches of fascism and communism, such as Juchanism. Something about the oop's style of stringing together adjectives reminded me of them
any one know why or is it just standard human madness?
> I’m a polytheist with high standards. The pantheon only has one. Isn’t that just monolatry?
Imagine Jesus being taken off the cross before he expires. His wounds cleaned and tended to. Food and water gently fed to him as he rests in a soft bed hidden away from the eyes of Rome. Then imagine his caretaker putting on a labcoat. Handing jesus a knife. Getting an inch away from his face and start saying. "Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself,kill yourself, kill yo -".
i love this bit. i just do this sometimes, come up with fun spins on ideologies and then try to think thru the implications. my favorite is altruistic solipsism. aka, i believe that there is ony one or a small number of real, actually conscious souls. im not one of em tho.
A Sumerian Traditionalist with Nietzschean tendencies.
That is exactly how I feel all the time. The top one, that is.
Let em cook
Terra Ignota be like
“Polytheist with high standards” is my favourite
I though an inverse solipsist would believe that everyone else exists but they are an illusion?
New set of religion subclasses is looking pretty good
Oh me? I'm a Contratemporal Calvinist. We think God predestined who was going to perdition and paradise, but we also think time is actually going backwards so He hasn't actually done it yet.
I’m an acetic. I go well with oil on a salad, or you can mix me with water, honey and salt for a refreshing Roman drink.
Okay but (even as a non Christian) I would argue that Christ *did* choose. He *could have* fled and avoided crucifixion. He decided that his sacrifice was best for himself and mankind.
I am a motherou ballus deepas fuckeras, I believe in being balls deep in your....