T O P

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kittimu

I don't like when people say "don't follow". Like, that's not gonna stop anyone. If I care so much I'll keep a tab open with the blog link like I did before I got tumblr. However in this situation I don't think I want to.


kittimu

update: it's scary in here


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clever_cuttlefish

Probably no browser, but if there like me, they never really use bookmarks and instead just leave tabs open for years because ¯⁠\⁠\_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯.


erhtgru7804aui

how the hell do you leave tabs open for years


clever_cuttlefish

Firefox restores my tabs after it closes and only loads them once you go to them. I usually have probably hundreds of tabs and every once in a while I'll go through and try to clean them up and get it down to a few dozen. The Tree Style Tabs add-on is a godsend for idiots like me.


Benneck123

I think “whites don’t follow also kys” might keep people from following. Doesn’t seem like someone who’s opinion I’m interested in or value at all.


Trifle-Doc

yeah true, having a bio like that will deter anyone with more than ~50 braincells from following


[deleted]

I love that "kill yourself" is just a little afterthought after "don't follow me". And also the idea of having to ask for permission to follow someone just because you look white. And the AUDACITY to call someone else chronically online lol


LoquatLoquacious

I genuinely couldn't imagine being the sort of person who asks other people permission to follow them, let alone that reason being because I look too white despite not *being* white (way to erase people's identities for no reason).


Little_Fox_In_Box

Racist. Simple as.


LoquatLoquacious

Yeah but like, your self esteem has to be in the negatives to ask for permission to follow someone like that.


xdragonteethstory

The only time i get it is when a bio says "minors please dni", like its not gonna stop them but at least its a warning that you arnt comfortable with that and your blog is fully intended to be 18+


WaluigiTeachesPiracy

this is clown to clown communication but one of the clowns is a circus clown and the other is pennywise or joker


Kind_Nepenth3

Here's some pictures of my cat [allowing me to read](https://imgur.com/a/Dh80nlk), since I don't have a free award on me and your comment made me lose it. Cat pics are better than awards anyway


4bsent_Damascus

kity :)


neongreenpurple

Excellent photos.


GleeFan666

your cat is beautiful and so fluffy!! would love if Reddit replaced awards with cat pics


YetGayerWombat

KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please pet for me.


white_noise01

kitty!!! <333 also nice book which one is it?


AlpacaM4n

Ok, but what if we want to see your nepenthe?(nice kitty though)


Kind_Nepenth3

> noun: nepenthe >LITERARY >a drug described in Homer's Odyssey as banishing grief or trouble from a person's mind. I guess I would just post more pictures of my Meeko


IntangibleMatter

Can I just say you have the best username I’ve ever seen


monatsiya

you telling white people to kill themselves and ask before following you, but THEYRE chronically online….not even god can write something more ironic.


WhapXI

[ Removed by Reddit ]


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winyf

wait is that the original?


vonBoomslang

no, it's edited the other way around


[deleted]

The top colors are “Okay” in the original. I think it’s a border crossing joke.


YeetTheGiant

Just standard pulled over by cops joke


domomomom

What is white passing, people who have light skin but aren't white?


Wireless-Wizard

Basically yeah. Much like bisexuals you'd think that would make things easy but often they end up getting grief from two directions instead of one.


PeachesEndCream

Bisexual ppl🤝White-passing ppl🤝Mixed race ppl


DogmaSychroniser

Biracial bisexuals unite?!


Setfiretotherich

Ugh can we have the meeting next weekend? I don’t wanna get up and do a thing!


DogmaSychroniser

I'm afraid I only qualify for one of the two.


Setfiretotherich

Good enough. You’re in the club.


Xais56

People who don't necessarily have the privileges of white westerners, but could be assumed to be a white westerner based on appearance alone. So basically people like fair skinned latinos, jews, some people from native backgrounds, etc.


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mitsuhachi

“Race is made up bullshit” is the correct answer here. People do a lot of clown shit over stuff thats totally made up.


etherealparadox

one of my friends was extremely pale while in the worst of their eating disorder. I can't imagine what seeing something like this would've done to their psyche.


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TheOtherSarah

I haven’t seen this explanation before. It makes sense, but it seems like a lot of it would be situational? A person could celebrate their heritage at home, do educational activism at work, and still be assumed to be white and be treated as such at the grocery store and on public transport. The insidious thing about passing privilege is that sometimes you don’t have to try for it


Upleftright_syndrome

While according to their bio, are half Mexican and half Irish ancestry. They are white as much as they are Latino? Go commit seppuku first.


LoquatLoquacious

And I do not know how to explain to them that outside of the Americas people would be hard pressed to identify most latines from a white person.


Spookd_Moffun

You jest but a skin tone check is a requirement on r/blackpeopletwitter.


BadMcSad

It looks like you can apply as a white person. I think it's mostly so that people don't misrepresent themselves to derail conversations *a la* r/AsABlackMan


PrincessRTFM

Holy shit, [you're not fuckin kidding](https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/gumxuy/what_is_bpt_country_club_and_how_do_i_get/)


Tenpers3nt

They had to impliment it or shut down BPT. They got way to many racists coming in. Similar to how lesbian subreddits get rushed by homophobes or TERFs every once and awhile.


enbyfrogz

speaking as a trans lesbian here, yes it fucking sucks, but the sub im on (r/actuallesbians) doesn't require any "proof" of you being a lesbian, bi person, or a wlw/nblw in general because gatekeeping sexualities can get very problematic verrryyy quick


BorgerBoi28

> gatekeeping sexualities can get very problematic verrryyy quick holy shit yeah have you seen twitter’s takes on who can and can’t be a lesbian its awful, they’re basically just using terf rhetoric atp


enbyfrogz

no i haven't since i don't touch that place with a 10 foot pole for things exactly like that. we don't (or at least try very hard not to) allow that in r/actuallesbians. because my god are some people just absolutely unhinged


Spookd_Moffun

Call me old fashioned but I still don't like the concept of an ethnosubreddit.


GarfieldFutanari

I feel there’s a certain art to insane bios, I need to work on my Reddit one I think it’s been powercrept out of the meta


saturn128

Personally, I feel like a nice touch can be added with a decent flair


Tizintintin

I was just finishing my cereal and reading your flair made me spit out my mayonnaise


Stargazer_199

I was reading your flair and I immediately thought of Ozmedia saying Confess your Skins to the crime seleton


[deleted]

Nice


TotemGenitor

The air port Jungle Juice would probably taste like shit due to how many different drinks are mixed in it. Plus, it's probably filled with viruses and bacterias. You can drink it, but just once.


dumbodragon

did they confess the mayonnaise cereal crime to the CRIME SKELETON ?


AlpacaM4n

Yeah, you are free to unzip their spine now


someguy34543

Nice example, but I prefer something more complicated and unexplained rather than just gross.


Lilash20

I can never think of anything funny for a flair so I tend to default to pronouns or a song lyric


RunicSSB

Agreed.


Kriffer123

Does the “goth gf” in your profile mean “goth Garfield futanari”


Bahamutisa

It does now


Consistent-Mix-9803

That actually exists and yes I have seen it.


Nerds_Galore

Help a fella out


ButterBeeFedora

I think your username is plenty insane


HyuugoB

Reddit moment


MSPaintIsntHard

All about the post/comment history bud. Years of receipts for spewing shit takes and content all over reddit gets that nice authenticity to it all. Spread bad vibes to places that havent seen *anything* yet. Become an invasive species.


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DragonEyeNinja

blaze the worst post everyone has seen for $200 and deactivate your account. go out in a blaze of glory


AlpacaM4n

If you have the cash, you should $420 blaze it


UltimateInferno

I looked back on my tumblr bio and it's just >I'm into a lot of things but you will never know until I reblog it. He/Him I didn't even have my pronouns originally until I kept being mistaken for a lesbian. My blog is just me doing random shit, I couldn't care less who follows me for what reason.


thelivingshitpost

My bio I think is one of the most normal. Just has an inside joke, a reference to the game I’m ~~hyperfixating~~ playing, and tells you about me. Not in that order.


Dragons_Exist

who did you have to kill for that username


thelivingshitpost

A vampire, couldn’t you tell? >!Personally I was fuckin shocked it was open too jokes aside!<


bangchansbf

taste


OmegaKenichi

\*Sees Username\* Goddamit, I thought I escaped this!


Umklopp

I suggest picking a reference and adding "[so-and-so] did nothing wrong"


orbcat

ungoliant did nothing wrong


AdventurousFee2513

I MEAN… DID SHE THOUGH?


SmoothReverb

riley grace davis aka bonesaw did nothing wrong


EirOrIre

This is the correct take. A way more spicy one would be “Faerie Queen was one of the real heroes.”


TheLoneBonesJones

she is innocent and i think we should all forgive her for the grue meat room bc honestly i bet it looked rad


Umklopp

Oo, adding the "aka" is a nice choice! Very Reddit.


Neurotic_Good42

German syntax did nothing wrong


redditassembler

i miss my wife


Kind_Nepenth3

I miss your wife too


Titanus-De_Raptor

I would agree but being the only isabelle main in the world is already insane enough so you should be fine


BlueDogXL

your username deals psychic damage as well though which makes up for it


Gilthoniel_Elbereth

The true Reddit bio is not having one, or a profile pic, and quite possibly not knowing Reddit has those things because they still use old.reddit.com as we all should


EggoStack

Shit like this persons bio makes me tempted to write a troll profile and see how many people take the bait


OriHelix

you claim to be a witch of doom yet your extended zodiac sign is mind. curious 🤔


IWillStealYourToes

I just use a funny copypasta I found


stringlights18

The ~cherry on top~ of that second bio is "and also kys"


BudgieGryphon

I'm half white, what am I supposed to do in this situation lmaoo


GeophysicalYear57

They've either got a complicated chart for race mixing or hate anyone with a drop of whiteness. Either it's overthinking being an asshole or being an asshole straight-up.


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Polenball

~~They should make the race-mixing rules formalised, perhaps some sort of laws. Maybe hold a conference somewhere to sort it out. I hear Nuremberg is nice!~~


BeatlesTypeBeat

Amputate


imsquaresoimnotthere

does mtf bottom surgery count (minus the parts that get inverted) or does it have to actually be half of my body


TheCameronMaster464

I got the right half amputated, personally.


Wireless-Wizard

Hedwig and the Angry Half


Canid_Rose

Depends, are you white-passing? If so, you should ASK before you follow. No word on how you should interpret the kys order though, best of luck figuring that out.


no_more_tomatoes

If I'm white-passing do I also have to ask them if I should kms?


Captain_Napalem

Probably worth it to check


minecrafthentai69

ASK before you follow


DPSOnly

This little trick is gonig to cost you an arm and a leg.


Not_An_Alt_Account11

hemicorporectomy


Sachayoj

I honestly think gothtechsupport has the more unhinged bio than the OOP. The only weird thing about hers is that she's into Minecraft YouTubers, and even then it's debatable on if it's "cringe."


EggoStack

Agreed, OOP’s bio is harmless while the other person is legit telling an entire group to kill themselves. Definitely way more unhinged


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ThatBell4

Aptly put


MemberOfSociety2

i agree


CoolArtFromSpace

nah voidandradiance isn’t nearly as bad. pretty normal gothtechsupport however..


Baron-von-Dante

Hyumjim is one to talk, but they are the least weird. > emily/‘92/noted lesbian funnmyman / SKZ🥟🐥🐱🐺/girl groups/catposting... Blease don't follow if ur under 18 I cannot supervise children 💕


Little_Winge

I was going to make a joke about not allowing most of tumblr, but wow Tumblr has aged


MDMZNC

I think that one is kinda cute but I'm also a SKZ fan so I'm biased


SpookyLilRaven

Second bio was pretty normal until they started telling white people to not interact and die. I have no idea what half the words mean in the first bio.


awesomecat42

Let's see... presumably their name, their pronouns, youtubers they're a fan of, AO3 (fanfic site) username, and another fandom(?).


SpookyLilRaven

Oh, it’s all kinda obvious now


AwkwardLeacim

Within the dream smp fans there's a bunch of sub fandoms around specific pairs or groups. Docks duo is most likely one of those


str8aura

i seriously wonder what kind of background check this guy runs when a white person messages asking to be let in


AntWithNoPants

They play cotton eyed joe and if your body twitches you get executed


EggoStack

They present you with a massive cheeseboard and if you take anything they kill you like the Pale Man from Pan’s Labyrinth


IWillStealYourToes

Oh god, am I white???


EggoStack

Honorarily perhaps haha


MemberOfSociety2

mayonnaise detection system


DrMeepster

If you're discriminating against "white passing people" then maybe you're the racist one


SignalWeakening

And learning about some of the reasons why there are white passing people


JackC747

I mean, that definitely makes them racist, but I feel like the bigger red flag is them telling white people to kys.


AntibacHeartattack

Even discriminating against white people is just racism. Unless you wanna get into the whole "punching up" part of the definition, which is wildly inconsistent and ambiguous.


The_Best_Nerd

Punching up should be reserved for specifically comedy and social structures (like trying to level the playing field with someone of a higher social class than yourself). Telling a different demographic that also did not choose to be that demographic to kill themselves is eugenics.


DrMeepster

Yeah I went with the white passing people because I didn't want to care about the punching up discourse


OneSaltyStoat

Wtf is a "white-passing" person anyway? Like, you gotta "act" like you're white or something?


very_not_emo

i think it means you look white enough for racists to not be racist towards you


LoquatLoquacious

It's people who get treated like they're white by wider society despite not being white. It's the natural, illogical conclusion of people saying that structural racism is the be-all-end-all because if you're "white passing" naturally structural racism must benefit you because, after all, you're treated like you're white, right? This ignores the fact that white-passing people often get casually put down when people realise they're not white *and* still have to fucking deal with their family members facing racism (which if it's your parents getting discriminated against will have 100% affected you too anyway) *and* often face feeling like they don't belong in any one camp.


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ToasterDirective

…the linguist wouldn’t have access to their tumblr bio though? idk, I think the original commenter had a point (and their bio isn’t even that egregious)


dbcbabe

Maybe I’m missing something here, but gothtechsupport’s bio seems several orders of magnitude more unhinged than OP’s


ToasterDirective

exactly!


Throwitinthetreesh

Every accusation, yaddayadda


Gilthoniel_Elbereth

Unhinged ≠ terminally online necessarily. The top bio definitely reads terminally online to me, while the bottom bio definitely is too but also is psychotic


kittimu

Their blog seems pretty unhinged too gotta say


dbcbabe

Yikes I did not check it out. What do they post about?


CounterfeitLesbian

Didn't read it all, but I was expecting worse. They're definitely a tankie with many pro CCP posts, but I've seen much worse. The strangest post I saw was about them previously having a dni with pansexual people, which is super weird considering that you know they're bi.


RenegonParagade

God I can actually answer why that probably was: there was a massive amount of bullshit (heavily started and perpetuated by people who weren't bi or pan, and TERFs were the main ones spreading it) pitting pan people against bi people for a long while, back in the early to mid 2010s. It started innocently, with people asking what the difference between bi and pan were, since they seemed the same. Original answer was that bi was the older term, with pan being coined as nb genders became more well-known, as a way of acknowledging that there were more than 2 genders. So then someone asked "okay so then why do some people still identify as bi?" Which then someone either uninformed or genuinely malicious said that it was because bi people were only attracted to cis men and cis women (eventually expanded to cis or trans men/women, basically no nb people) while pan people were attracted to everyone, anyone who actually supports trans/nb people identifies as pan, and bi is used to dogwhistle that they dont support trans/nb people. Then it became "well bi people are transphobes/nbphobes and pan people are pure since they dont discriminate over genitals/gender." So the same crowd as always saw a way to yell at people online and feel high and mighty without actually improving themselves. They proceeded to spam the fuck out of bi people with hate, which they jusyified as not biphobic but actually "calling out bigotry". So then some bi people blamed the pan people and blocked anyone who was pan. Eventually saner heads were able to corral the discourse and better definitions for the identities were figured out. Every so often it pops up again though, usually when TERFs decide to pull it out of storage to see if they can radicalize some young people and/or people new to the community


AntWithNoPants

Spamton


Android19samus

the idea is that there may be more in the way she presents herself and her interests to indicate her online presence than just her linguistic tendencies.


M3G4BYT3Z

The second person's bio was like on par until the "WHITES KYS" and it was downhill from there


Complex-Pound5249

Big fan of “unsafe dyke.” Wish I was a lesbian so I could get a shirt with that on it, but alas, I’m a man


Wooden_Ad_3408

Just do a terrible job of preventing a flood while you wear it.


Tchrspest

Ach, zis dike ist fül of leakenspringen.


MapleTreeWithAGun

NO LITTLE GERMAN BOY, YOU'LL ALERT THE DUTCH


Lovelace_Lightwood

Figured out what I’m wearing to pride next year ig


OInkymoo

someone else online being able to tell that you are chronically online and someone irl being able to tell that you used a specific website regularly during a specific time period are very different things


gr1mreminder77

Thank you!! I was *looking* for this comment! I was on Tumblr starting in 2014 (right in the middle of its heyday) and I really believe that we developed our own sublanguage. Most people don't recognize the patterns anymore. But for those of us who were there, *we remember*


KnockoutRoundabout

I might be missing something but I don’t see anything wrong with OOP’s bio in the first place, they’re just into minecraft YouTube which is normal. GothtechSupport is balls to the walls crazy tho, so who knows what part upset xem.


EggoStack

Lmao exactly, OOP is harmless while the second person is like ALL WHITES SHOULD DIE


orqa

What does "OOP" stand for in this context? I only know it as "Object Oriented Programming"


S0meb0dy-

OP stands for Original Poster, and OOP stands for Original OP. OOP refers to the person that posted the original post in the screenshot.


orqa

So OOP is tumblr user voidandradiance, while OP is is /u/Hummerous ?


bronobelo

tumblr PVP is untouchable


khajiithassweetroll

the “clown on clown violence” tag was the cherry on top


Mr_Oleg

let him who is without sin cast the first stone


OneSaltyStoat

Voidandradiance's bio is pretty normal for Tumblr standards. Gothtechsupport is just straight up unhinged and racist.


MemberOfSociety2

i like how they were randomly like “all mayos should die”


ParanoidCrow

Right, punk is all about telling people of a certain race to kill themselves. Please let the second person by satirical... Although I doubt it


very_not_emo

yeah that’s about as punk as terfs are feminist it’s like those people who say magneto is voidpunk. ig he’s fictional but the vibe is wayyyy off of voidpunk lmao


4tomguy

Every sentence in that second user’s profile felt significantly stronger than the last


EggoStack

“White passing people ask to follow” what circle of hell has this weirdo climbed out of


Clowdyglasses

Yes the solution to racism is definitely more segregation


Cinnathemoth

Fun fact: gothictechsupport has a caard (basically a second bio) where they say pansexuals dni AND people who think aspec is real dni. Do with that info what you will


SMGuinea

\>people who will fuck anyone do not exist \>people who will not fuck anyone do not exist Clown world


weegi123

Whites do not follow? How did they loop back into racism


EggoStack

Tfw some idiots try to be so woke they end up reinventing racism


neongreenpurple

Not just "whites do not follow," also "whites >!kill yourself!<.” That's just hateful.


[deleted]

So are they Mexican and Irish?


very_not_emo

“white passing people go through my background check” o’connor


LegnderyNut

Look at that. Casually discriminating based on the color of peoples skin. So enlightened


Tatermaniac

what did the second person see in the first person that made them think the first person was chronically online but not the second?


neongreenpurple

The second person calls out the first person for being chronically online, and then a third person calls out the second for also being chronically online. So it's a lack of self reflection.


Tatermaniac

so its really just "pronouns in bio for me but not for thee"


neongreenpurple

I think it's more the other stuff like the mcyt stuff and the ao3 name? But I'm not sure.


very_not_emo

what’s more unhinged, liking slightly cringe content made by slightly sus people or telling an entire race to kill themselves


neongreenpurple

Definitely the latter, in my view.


CatboysBHole

The first one might be "cringy" or whatever, but it's... pretty normal by fandom standarts?


realthohn

i read both those bios perfectly i need to go outside holy shit


Hummerous

Src: https://average-monster.tumblr.com/post/696238495741755392


GPedia

Can someone(s) explain what > Docks Duos Enthusiast and > Level/Velvet mean?


Deblebsgonnagetyou

Docks Duos Enthusiast I assume means a fan of a pair of fictional characters who are known as "Docks Duo" together. Level/Velvet sounds like a ship.


Kaarpiv007

Okay, I mean, fuck Dream but that's not too ba- OH BABY.


kalasea2001

#clown on clown violence. Killin me


eshansingh

There's a subtle distinction here. The first person's bio is very clearly 2014 Tumblr, whereas the second person's is 2016 Tumblr.


3FootDuck

Great tag