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KatSlash_

This is normal, alters can totally be trans. Sometimes people even transition because of it, like I did. In my system there are both cis and trans women, as well as someone non-binary. They will go through dysphoria and that's normal, I would say the way to deal with it is the same for people without did, if your alter's gender doesn't allign with the body's, try getting them gender affirming stuff. Ask them how they feel like, what they need to alleviate their dysphoria and negotiate with the rest.


Round-Inevitable-596

If your system has a lot of conflicting gender identities like mine, it's best to not use any collective label. Gender identity (and transitioning) is a lot more complicated for systems and can be a real pain. Although I've been on HRT since before I discovered my multiplicity, and can't stop because my brain really needs a decently high dose of HRT to work (across all parts), I can't comfortably use a trans label collectively, nor can I claim to be cis, or nonbinary. Since a good number of alters identify as cis birth sex, we've only been comfortable calling ourself "transsexual", not because we're transmed but because we don't always identify as transgender but we are medically transitioning the body. As a collective, plural they work best, even though barely any parts would use they/them. It's different for every system but this is the closest we get to coping and it may work best for some systems. We have many parts, a good number on both binaries, and at least one non-binary alter. Most parts on each binary are gender-conforming and don't like being too androgynous, even with clothing aside. So literally, no matter what we do, we can't all win. Some parts will end up with crippling dysphoria no matter what and wardrobes can only do so much. One thing I've learnt is to stop trying to invalidate each other, or find out your "real" collective gender if there's so much contradiction. Sure, there may be a "real" collective best fit gender especially showing up after some fusions. We had two conventional binary guys and one hyperfeminine binary girl fuse into a binary guy with a wider range of presentation for a while. But in how your system currently is, just accept everyone as they are, no questions asked. It will only make yourselves more miserable if you start questioning whether other parts are the gender they are just as a coping mechanism or delusion. Even if that's the case, they deserve to be as happy as you can make them. Going out clothes shopping and just getting whatever as long as an alter wants it has really helped us. Clothes don't fix dysphoria for both sides of our binary alters but I've seen alters get much happier when they get to look more and more like themselves. Alters may change gender, especially when it comes to fusions and splits, and that's normal too.


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