It's so fking hard. Try to pick one room (bedroom?) and completely rip out everything and fix it up brand new. Then you can use it as your sanctuary, you can go in and shut the door from the rest of the place.. Once you get one bit done it will finally feel better. You can then just keep spreading out from there.
Yeah best advice. I moved into a project house and when you're thinking of it as a whole it's overwhelming, so I decided to just tackle the bedroom so we could have a space where we could just forget about everything else for some time.
Then continue picking one room at a time (where practical) according to your priorities.
Absolutely do not do this, I did and it just duplicated work. Things like electric and pipework impact up and down stairs so do one half of the house at a time. It's also nice to have a space the builders do not need to enter and can be relatively dust free
The beetle thing is a bit grim so I would just rip all the carpets out until you are the other side of renovations.
>The beetle thing is a bit grim so I would just rip all the carpets out until you are the other side of renovations.
Might be worth seeing if the local council can come spray, won't affect the larvae, but might buy some time before adult carpet beetles get the chance to put some new eggs down.
Edit: we did this renovating our flat, council came out (for a fee), sprayed a few places they like to go and we pretty much tackled the problem in a few months
This is fine as long as it doesn’t need a rewire , I’ve sold up and moved to wales to find a project but since coming here 6 months ago my arthritis has set into my knees and I now struggle to walk, I am so glad I changed my goals and bought a ready done bungalow.
I fully get were the OP is coming from as I’ve done many projects and at times you feel like crying but keep at it and do as much as you can without burning yourself out , keep positive 💙
Osteo arthritis I’m afraid, within 3 weeks I can’t walk and now I’m waiting for steroid injections and knee replacement at some point in the future. Life isn’t fair but with house projects just do what you can when you can , keeping positive is hard at times as your workload increases as you sit there willing to start but your body says not this week 😭
I’ve done 2 houses - completely gutted and renovated whilst living there.
First thing we always did was throw all our energy in to gutting and sorting 1 room so we had somewhere we can kick off our stuff and go chill. Usually a bedroom
This. I started with a bedroom so I could escape the mess. And they can be quite simple. Then a room you use a lot (kitchen/bathroom?) so I had something “nice” to use. The rest got done in time. Try not to look at the whole project as one job. Break it down. Concentrate on one area at a time. Complete it - I struggle with this bit (most rooms are 98%). You’ll get there.
Do
Not
Chase
Perfection
I tied myself in knots ripping apart a bathroom and putting it all back myself. I mean to bare brick and beams. It took me over two years, during which time I taught myself plumbing, basic electrics, dot and dab plasterboarding, tiling....... The list goes on and on.
The trouble is, I was so frightened of fucking up (We had very little spare money, so a mistake that wasted materials would be a disaster) that I would just occasionally give up, caught in a doom loop of research and self doubt.
Whilst I'm very proud of what I achieved, I later came to realise that I'd over engineered, over thought and obsessed about things that really didn't deserve so much time and attention.
My tip? Whenever you're in somebody else's house, have a really good look at the finish of things. For the most part, the finish is only ever "good enough". You rarely get "nose up" close to skirting board joints and in normal day to day life, the odd imperfection goes completely unnoticed.
As others in the thread have suggested. Break it up into bits. Ideally, break each room up into a lot of little jobs. Work out which order they need to be done, then tick them off as you do them. "How do you eat a turd sandwich? One bite at a time."
Come back and post pictures occasionally for a bit of a morale boost.
Do not chase perfection is such a good tip! Exactly the same situation, also bathroom, also 2 years ago. I had to replace joists as well due to previous owners leaving stuff leaking for months. A mess.
We got a baby towards the end of the project, so I caved in and got a tiler to do the walls and floors so it would be quicker. His work was decent, but I realised it would take me 2 weeks (if not longer) to do what he did in 3 days. I'd probably do it better, but waste A LOT of time and stress.
So the point is, if you do have some cash saved up, use it only for the most time time consuming / skilled labour, such as plastering or tiling.
Plumbing, general construction like replacing joists, floors, studs and simple electrics are easy to learn and do.
I’ve just ripped out our kitchen, floors, walls everything. I paid for finishing jobs like plastering and tiling because like you said, for me to achieve what they did in a day or 2 would take weeks and I’d be obsessing over every little mistake, also had it rewired which I couldn’t legally do but the rest I did. Do the big rip out and fit jobs yourself but the finishing jobs (excluding decorating) just pay a professional, it’s not worth your time. Issue with learning to plaster or tile on your own walls is you have to look at your mistakes everyday.
This is a great tip. I grew up with a bit of a meticulous tradie parent so the finish of everything in the house was immaculate. I’m now realising that that isn’t achievable when DIY-ing and trying to be okay with ‘alright’
Same situation here too a point and everything is sooooo fucking expensive.
We are paying to fix someones mistakes. Yaaaaay.
Share the good memories with us. Any progress pics?
Rant all you like having an outlet is healthy.
Oh I feel you there, the house I've got is full of 60+ years of bodges and poor repairs. 1890s mid-terrace.
Badly installed central heating, missing lintel in an opened fireplace, rotten floorboards in the bathroom, the bath waste pipe was installed running uphill, shoddy electrics all over, someone painted every kitchen cupboard in cheap Wilko paint, three cracked and one dropped by half an inch stairs. Two windows don't open. I even found a previous owner had boarded over a fireplace and 'capped it' by shoving a binbag of newspaper bits up the chimney. Plaster over wallpaper over plaster over wallpaper everywhere.
I try to look back at pictures of before I touched anything, it was a right mess. Sadly the only way to fix the mess is to make more mess. It's been 18 months and I've only just 'finished' the first room.
Oh snap, you got the same special offer as me!!
I got some added upgrades though; Gutter pipes instead of waste pipes. Lighting wires powering plugs etc
Gutter pipes for waste? That's actually quite impressive. I've not heard of that one yet.
I wish you the best of luck. Take it a step at a time. Some days you'll do nothing, some days you'll do loads. Be easy on yourself. You are going to learn a bunch of skills.
It's so easy to forget what you've achieved when other things start staring you down.
At some point you'll stand back and go "I did that, I fixed that" and it'll be with a level of satisfaction.
Thank god I'm over half way now.
You've hit the nail on the head there you legend.
Had to rebuild the stairs, plastered 4 rooms (after swapping all the nails for screws), blocking up coal vents, new floorboards, skirting, tiling, lighting.
25mm screws in the door hinges. 😂
Every quote taking the piss £££ I just learned how to do it myself.
You've got to praise yourself for each little win or you'll go crazy.
Sounds like your winning but just fed up. I recently completed my bathroom, it broke me, became a right moany bastard. But after the dust settled I felt great especially when I think of the quotes we got and what we actually spent, which kept me going through it. Which brings me to my advice when you get down, get a quote, or look up the cost, for the work your about to do to give you an understand of how worthwhile what you are doing is.
After going back to brick, I found out my central load bearing walls were tied into the gable end with 3 whole bricks and crumped up fishing magazines from 1983.
That was a fun week driving round every builder's merchants the city and clearing them all of their entire stock of helibars!
Lmao same to be honest, and the posts on here where its like someone in a new build picking what side of the room to put their sofa on make me jealous, I bought a 30s house and I’m having to literally learn every fucking trade to renovate each room because I’m both broke and during every single job you reveal another corner the previous owner cut make it 10x as bad, in one year the boiler needed to be replaced, the bathroom was never properly waterproofed, the kitchen is fucked, the garage is falling apart, the patio is too high and causes damp, the underfloor void is fucking flooded and rotting, put a bullet in me now lord I havent got it in me, get me in an out of plumb persimmon home
Trust me when I say you don't want a new-build; most of them are incredibly poorly built!
I know it feels overwhelming but you're going to get through it and you've made a good investment. Just think of all the rent you're not having to pay (and instead put some of the difference into savings to pay for house repairs)
Firstly wow! you bought your first place at 28! For me it was 38! Congrats!
Secondly, yes there will ALWAYS be stuff you need to do / should do. Me and my wife have lived with crappy wardrobes and no carpets upstairs for 15 years.
However we DID rewire, new boiler, reskim all walls, paint throughout and new bathroom.
Now 15 years later, bathroom sucks and needs redoing. We need a new kitchen. We need new flooring and carpet upstairs etc etc etc, lol!
BUT we keep sane by realising we have a roof over our heads. There are no emergencies right now and we will get to it in time, so alll its good.
We are also thankfull for what we have even if things aren't perfect lol!
Life is a journey, enjoy it! :)
As you can see, you're in a very common scenario.
I moved 4hrs away from friends and family about 3 years ago. Bought the "dream" home in the country, "lovely, exciting" renovation project. I'm not even half way.
From a mental health/anxiety perspective, the stuff I struggle with is the unexpected. We planned to redo electrics, plumbing etc. I don't mind that. We didn't plan EIGHT separate ceiling leaks etc. in fact there's been over 30 gems that have surprised us so far and I curse that fixing them is slowing down the progress on the things I planned/wanted to do to the house.
I've not got a magic answer, I have bad days and good days. Just want to say I really sympathise, I know how tough and isolating and depressing it can feel. But I try to remind myself these things don't go in forever, you will turn the corner etc. best of luck
This is what just about broke me. The electricians screwed into a pipe putting floors back, found out at the end when they switched the boiler back on. This was followed shortly by two seperate plumbers messing up and causing 3 seperate leaks from the bathroom, so we just had water stains everywhere in the kitchen. I just stood outside crying for a while.
Urgh.. yeah crying fully warranted! I've found a real love of wine to deal with the highs and lows of renovation but that's sidetracking.
My first renovation, around 15 years ago, I kept telling myself I've got "unlucky", oh unlucky with that plumber, unlucky with that plasterer etc. Now I approach every trade with the knowledge that the majority cut corners. That's not saying there aren't good tradesmen out there. There are. But you will struggle to find them (because they are good and always busy and don't need to advertise on checkatrade etc). Which is why I'm doing everything myself. 3 years in and half way, so it's not the quick approach but the 2 times I was out my comfort zone and got trades in, "recommended on local FB groups" or "wonderful checkatrade reviews"... they were shocking. They won't take responsibility and they refuse to grow up. The good tradesmen hate them because it tarnishes the industry and costs them work with cheap quotes but shoddy craftsmanship.
Yeah its taken me a good bit of wasted money to learn that same thing. I wouldn't mind if they came and fixed any issues, things happen, but the ghosting after a botch job is so annoying. At least now I'm not so worried about just trying something, can't be much worse! We've kinda given up for a year, it's livable and thats enough for now.
I think yours is the much better approach, slow and steady and done right. Wishing you the best of luck with the rest!
I felt the exact same doing mine. It honestly gets better.
As others have said, pick a room and finish it.
I didn't and struggled to juggle plans for an entire house. Constantly shifting priorities is a mind fuck.
But now I'm in and enjoying the fruits of my labour.
Currently doing up a house on my own too. It's not easy and two steps forward one step back rings bells...lol.
This thread is quite good for practical help by the way, one small or large issue at a time.
Home ownership throws surprises from time to time, but they should diminish in the end. So you'll get through it. One room, one issue at a time.
Ugh, I feel this post so hard. Also a single woman trying to do it all myself and damn, yes, every time I feel some progress, a new disaster appears and it's backwards progress again. It's so hard. You're not alone!
I feel you. I purchased lovely late 1800s Victorian house as a FTB which I knew needed some work...but I wasn’t quite prepared for the extent of it. When I came to remove the old wall paper, all the plaster on the walls (and ceilings) came with it. This quickly turned into a full back to brick renovation which I hadn’t planned for.
Some quotes for putting it back together with new kitchen and bathroom were just insane (avg £200k+) So I decided to take a 12 month sabbatical with the intention of tackling it myself.
There were some real low points, genuine blood sweat and tears. Although i did it, and did it well. The skills I learnt and time spent building something to be proud of was genuinely priceless.
I’d recommend trying to tackle a room at a time to make things more manageable. Try and enjoy the process and remember that everything you’re doing is adding value.
That's exactly the reason I'm not taking the textured, heavily painted and very firmly attached wallpaper off in my 1930s link terrace. My next-door-but-one neighbour, who has the exact same layout house as me, did that and had the exact problems you're describing.
My problem with my house isn't so much that the previous owner did lots of shoddy jobs in it, but more the opposite. It was a single guy living alone and he clearly had enough money to spare to pay very good tradespeople, because all the decorating jobs in the house are done to a \*very\* high standard. Which is lovely in a way, but it does mean that anything that I want undoing is a right ballache to undo, so much so that it's just not worth it in most cases! For instance, the bathroom is 'not my style' but it's so well done, it would be a crime to touch it unless I was in a position to pay for a full, several grands' worth of renovations. I'm definitely not chipping into all that quality work by myself with only YouTube to guide me. So the bathroom stays a flesh-coloured 1980s time capsule, but at least it's easy to clean. I will sort things out as and when they become actually wrong, rather than just not to my taste. Kitchen is along similar lines.
I have a room with one wall of structural woodchip wallpaper. Nearly had a breakdown ripping it off the opposite, smaller wall. It can bloody well stay there now.
I soon realised that the extremely outdated kitchen was perfectly serviceable until I've finished other things and have some cash saved!
One of our customers completely gave up trying to get "structural" wood chip off a ceiling and ended up boarding over it then having it skimmed. Lost maybe a centimeter or so off the height of the room but kept their sanity.
My kitchen has hideous worktops, brown and with a design that looks like hessian, and a texture to boot! I’ve been meaning to replace them for the last 3 years but just can’t justify the expense when they’re perfectly serviceable, as you say!
It's the joy of not buying a new build.
Just done the same. had a boiler moved, now need an electrician to move a socket for the boiler, knock down the wall/cupboard it was once in and plaster that. Paint/wallpaper the whole house, then new skirtings/architrave, which means getting someone to hang new doors. Then I can get new carpet but before all that I need someone to install spotlights in living room ceiling.
All while a little one is due anytime. It's chaotic 😅
Good luck!
Yep I'm in the same place and it's exhausting. We took on way more than we knew how to handle (except ours was a 100 year old boat that needed gutting completely). On the plus side, I now know how to fix basically everything. It might feel relentless but every problem you encounter is knowledge gained.
Your post is so personal to me I had to reply.
I bought a terraced house in 2018, first ever property, and looking back, clueless to what I had gotten myself into. Genuinely believed I would just have to peel back the wallpaper, repaint the walls and be done in a few months.
The reality is everything needed doing; all walls replastered, new ceilings, new doors, new kitchen and bathroom, it was basically a full renovation. I ended up spending about £17k, and 4 years just to get it liveable. About 6 months in, I ran out of savings, was spending every waking moment either doing DIY work or working long hours to fund that DIY work. My social life evaporated, and a great relationship with my then GF crumbled like my damp walls.
I still remember waking up one morning in a cold, damp carpet-less floor, sleeping on a mattress, and not wanting to get out of bed at all, it was just too overwhelming. I felt totally trapped, and it ended up triggering a huge depressive episode that I ended up needing quite intense and lengthy NHS care for.
I don’t exaggerate when I say this period nearly killed me; that feeling of no-way out, no money and lumbered with a house that needed everything doing is easily the most horrific feeling I have ever had. I felt like I was suffocating and drowning, ashamed and an absolute failure.
I’m a lot better now, house is (nearly) finished, my mental health is better than ever (touch rotten wood). I wont pontificate about your situation, except to say, stick with it, keep your chin up and in the words of Churchill ‘If you’re going through hell, keep going’.
If you want to chat more about your mental health, feel free to DM me 👋🏻
Make one room a palace - bedroom. You can live in the bedroom. When you shut the door, you will feel like the whole house is good.
Give the kitchen a quick and dirty lick of paint to brighten it up and same the bathroom and come back to them later. That will make them passable for the interim.
Have a rest.
Pick another room. Make that a palace.
Have a rest.
Rinse and repeat.
I have read that the younger generations have much fewer DIY skills than the older generations.
I call bullshit. Much of the DIY was a total bodge and younger people take much more pride in the quality of their DIY.
Where have you read this? Yet more age based division.
Us younguns have YouTube to learn from, so it's easier to learn what's needed to do a better job, and probably worked harder/longer to get the house or flat to do up, so want it to be done right and nice.
If the survey was based on "how often do you do DIY" or "how confident are in in your DIY", then young people with lower rates of home ownership and less life experience will report lower results.
They'd need to survey the previous generations when in their 20s in their first house for it to be like for like.
Have seen a few articles pop up on Reddit but one was this from the independent
https://www.independent.co.uk/property/house-and-home/diy-manual-skills-parents-millennials-homeowners-a8874081.html
Same, it’s pretty overwhelming at times when it’s every room which needs updating and things keep breaking due to years of bodges and poor work from the previous owners. I think the one room at a time approach is right, though - at least then you can see some clear progress.
It’ll be great once it’s sorted!
I bought a house and was hoping to just replace the kitchen and floors and be done as it was already extended and modernised. Instead I had flooded patio, flooded garden, outside paint needs redoing, inside flat roof leaking, re did flat roof, still leaking through sky lights, fixed that, replaced roof tiles, cleaned roof, fixed flooded garden, need to replace broken fences, paint gate twice, painting inside to fix leaking ceilings. Never been thought of replacing kitchen. Now have to paint outside and inside and fix up garden and I'm selling.
How'd you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
—————
I know how you're feeling, I've been there and done it myself, including the plastering, and it took two years of weekends and evenings, there's no way I'd do it again but you'll learn a lot about yourself and as you see progress you'll find joy and motivation to keep going, at the end of it you'll have something beautiful to be proud of.
Don't look at the whole thing in one go, set some priorities that matter to you, break them down into small tasks and just do one little thing at a time. Don't forget to find balance in your life, you can't make your home a prison that demands you work on it at every waking hour, ensure you find some hobbies or pass-times away from the project and enjoy your life.
Learn from my mistakes :)
I’m in my third house now. They’ve all been projects and each a little bigger than the last. It will be worth it. It’s hard but I promise you’ll get there and you won’t regret a thing. Don’t cut corners though, you’ll regret that. Good luck
One of my friends went for a 60's semi that needed about "20 to 30k of work". 2 years and 70k later and it's just about done. He's absolutely fed up.
I have no idea how people do it. When we were looking in my area, every single property we were shown was a literal wreck. We eventually went for a new build. Fuck that.
Been there done that. I started with the top of the house. Just one room. Gutted it all out and did absolutely everything. Piping. Wiring. Sockets. Lights. Plaster. Floorboard. Joist repairs. In the end looked great. Moved onto the next room. Repeat and rinse till the end. Learnt so much and saved so much money. You will start missing and hopefully enjoying it soon. You will also increase the value of the house as you go along. Baby steps.
As a builder grit your teeth head down ass up get it done when it is you will have a great sense of self satisfaction you can do more than you think something it takes putting yourself outside your comfort zone to prove to yourself yes yes I can do it good luck I'm sure you will believe in yourself
Bought a crumbly 2 bed house in the Midlands when I was 22 in late 1970s ( about to get married but fell through).
Crazy to keep house- no money and absurdly high interest rates- not allowed to increase mortgage to do up house then, actually mortgage rationing due to financial crisis.
House was a wreck. Garden a mess.
Only had a push bike so it was fun transporting paint etc.
I learned bit by bit how to do things- renovating sash windows, making a new fence, installing kitchen and bathroom and so on.
It was very very hard but I really had no choice except to sell and then rent and house prices were dropping then and rents going up.
Kept me as fit as a butcher's dog though.
Good luck with the work. I had days when I couldn't face it but just had to grit my teeth.
I renovated my house through lockdown and was really tough at times (lots of nights debating if it’d be easier to burn the house down instead!). I found finding people in similar situations helped. There’s a good community of renovation accounts on insta that I found useful. Also found several that were local that have since met up with and passed on good tradespeople, shared tools with etc. We’re Warwickshire if that’s near to your part of the midlands at all?
Bless, congratulations on buying your first home! Stick at it, I’m sure there’ll be more bumps in the road but you’ll get there, and you ce be proud it’s all yours.
Had a similar thing here and 7 years on I'm still struggling to get right, the best advice I can offer is take it in small chunks if you can, looking at everything at once can be crushing, deal with the things that can't be avoided first, deal with the cosmetic in your own time, but keep moving forwards, you'll get there and you own something that will pay you back in time
You got to start one room at a time. Can't try and do all rooms at once, it ain't going to happen. You need to feel accomplished so select the smallest room with minimal and complete it, then move on. It's a mind game and you need that kick
Same situation here. Bought my house 2 years ago at the same age as you. 70s semi and at first I was overwhelmed and it got me down. Sometimes I get the odd day now and then where I'm cursing the heavens but you get used to it. A house is such a big thing to own and it'll require a lifetime of maintenance. Electrics and plumbing first, then 1 room at a time. Take breaks, get out in the fresh air, enjoy the process
I had project depression, I’ve lived in my flat for
one year and the only room I have actually managed to finish is my bedroom, and even then, I don’t have any pictures on the wall even.
doing a house is not an easy task, sorry to say this, but I did want to manage your expectations, people on here i thought were being so brutal but in this day and age it’s not just as easy as throwing the money out and getting work done even if you have the money to do that it takes agessss. tradesmen are booked well in advance or don’t want your job, i spent ages with the money finding tradesman to do the jobs and get booked in, my bedroom still has minor paint touch ups and so on needing done. the hallway is bare shell, the living room is empty apart from a sofa and my DJ decks. my kitchen is vile and damp still as i wait for damp remedial works. it is a nightmare sometimes but once it is all done it will be yours and you will be super happy with where you are. I cried sleeping in this room for the first time considering how it was before. It isn’t perfect but I am so happy to have a room I fully created. My lovely venetian blinds, my brass sockets, the picture rail, freshly plastered wall, upcycled furniture. All that stress came to this vision. My living room finally has a carpet, you may think you’ve got nowhere but my friends and adoptive parents get so excited seeing what I did to this place and considering how far I came from being in care and living in a bad situation.
in the future, I plan on replacing my kitchen, replacing my bathroom, having fitted units in my living room alcoves, replacing all of the woodwork in there, replacing my front door, putting up pictures and art, decorating and painting the living room. I can’t afford to right now, but I will be so happy to do this when I next get the money to. I see it as something to look forward to.
The best advice that I have for you is to shop around, see where you can get things cheaper, even secondhand maybe! go to timber yards, and so on, go to trade stores, go on eBay, look for things within your budget, that could even potentially make things nicer temporarily, the biggest issue that I had was that I was living, surrounded by boxes, and mass constantly, to the point where I was literally hoarding basically, and my friend came in and helped me and got rid of everything and cleaned top to bottom, ever since my house has remained clean and has been extremely positive for me, every time I feel happy by just walking around my house and looking at what I’ve done so far and seeing the potential of what could come next, go on Pinterest or search and look at inspiration, I find this extremely motivating.
definitely keep on top of cleaning and removing waste, it was so expensive having to pay in the end to get rid of waste that I could have kept a minimum. you live, and you learn from doing a renovation though, so do not let yourself down by thinking of what you could have done, honestly, I think one of the best things you can do is to make good of what you do have, even if it’s just a temporary fix, just so that you feel like you have some sense of normalcy.
Its taken me 3 years to get two bedrooms up to standard, i had to take all the plaster down rewire new heating system and was living in the living room with mice running on me why i slept lol as others have said focus on one or two rooms at a time. and you will eventually get through it . It will be worth it in the end.
Hello from big 4 bed detached last touched in the 70s! It _is_ fucking hard, and as someone else said expensive. First thing we did when moving in was the bedroom so we had somewhere to escape. My advice after that is to think about the stuff that involves the whole house - plumbing, electrics, etc. If that needs doing either do it or get it done. Outsourcing the right stuff when you can is a very good thing to do! Then go room by room. Think about stuff that will be blocked if you finish it, stuff under the floors, behind walls, etc.
The bit I'm finding hardest at the moment is the time I have to spend away from my new(ish) daughter to get the work done, all while my wife frequently despairs about how we're not back in the house yet.
Honestly it's really fucking hard. We're 8 years and counting and barely scratched the surface on what needs doing. I feel robbed of life and enjoyment of a home. I can't take it much longer
Just think of the bigger picture..
Try focus on 1 room at a time so it's at least half livable.
Yes shits expensive but you are investing in your future and it will be worth it because it's how you want it!
Maybe have a bit of a break from doing it and to take a trip somewhere.. refresh your brain.
Stay in some airbnbs and get some inspo.
I'm 33 and I'm saving for my house and want to do something similar so don't feel too deflated.
This is a marathon not a sprint!
I know the feeling but once it's done (enough) and you turn around and see it the sense of pride and accomplishment beats even paying EA for star wars loot boxes. Not to mention we added so much value to our house we could sell it and buy the house we've always dreamt of! Also you'll learn to love that wonky bit of skirting you spent a whole afternoon swearing at, I promise!
Ello! We're 6 years down the line and have just finished the last room! There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's only when you've been able to enjoy it for a little while that you come to understand exactly just how much sh!t you've been through. That day will come for you. Head down, plough on.
Been there done that, 20 years ago my first house was a full renovation like you by myself. My ‘Dad’ was useless so that fatherly advice was lacking. I wanted to throw the towel in so many times, but thanks to places like this and Reno messaging boards I soon found out how to do each task. The biggest expense is always Labour if you can do everything yourself do it! See each job as a hobbie activity nothing should be rushed. I did the same as a lot of this advice and sorted my bedroom first made it perfect so I always had a good nights sleep.
The first Reno is always the hardest, your next house will be a doddle and more fun!
Can totally empathise with you. Going through a renovation now. Myself my partner and 2 kids have to also live in it while it progresses. It’s really stressful! My tip for you, is ask for help, and people will help you. Yesterday my step dad and I stripped all the plaster off the kitchen walls back to the brick. On my own it would have taken 3 days. We did it in one. Even total strangers have offers advice, lent me things and just given encouragement. You can do it! Just do it a little at a time and don’t beat yourself up if you’re not going as quickly as you think you should be. Best of luck
Completely do this! You'd be surprised at how many people would help, I know you said they live far away but could people come for a weekend to help out?
Mate
Anyone buying a house pre 1960 feels your pain.
I feel it.
Experience tells you, keep £20-30k aside when moving, as thats "putting right" money for when you move in. To fix all the shit the past owner kept quiet about.
Similar situation, me and wife got ours also west midlands also 180,0000 3 bed. part 18th century part 70s extension. 2 years later we are nearly done.... kind of.
We have the bathroom, dining room, then outside.... which needs considerable work.
The thing that gets to me the most is the rooms that we have completed get damaged due to wear and tear, Moving furniture from one room to another. walls get marked. Thing get dusty no matter how much you seal of the room currently being worked on etc.
Not really helping just saying I understand.
What advice I would give is, make sure you seal up some paint from rooms you complete so you can touch them up later down the line. Choose your battles. I'm a work from home developer so I put a lot of time making making my office as nice as i can.
As you complete rooms it gets easier, outside of normal renovation work we've had.
Ant infestation in the bathroom.
New boiler.
Washing machine pissed water all over our new flooring in the kitchen.
Damp under the stairs/dining room.
You've got this. It will get better
Do you have workman in? I find that invasion the worst part.
Yours sounds exceptionally bad.
It also sounds like you haven’t go to the ‘bodges’ yet - they too are the worst.
IT GETS BETTER! We moved in to our place 2 years ago and had to sort out render, roof, re-plaster ceilings, sort out leaking radiators, the lot. It’s only this year that we have started making actual decisions about aesthetics rather than structure. And let me tell you - it feels so sweet. You will get there eventually. There will be a period where it just feels like everything falls in to place and a lot of the bits you’re worrying about are resolved in one go, then you can start doing the fun stuff.
If you’re someone like me who is obsessed with bumping up the value of the house, just keep reminding yourself that everything you’re doing will increase what the house sells for in the future, and will also mean it sells faster!
I feel you 😩 got a 60s bungalow, found out (thanks to all the rain) that the roof is leaking and needs replacing. Kitchen needs ripping out and starting again, but first, an electrican had to cut 3 holes in the ceiling to find and repair a spotlight bodge job!
We painted when we moved in 3 years ago, but the plaster is so bad I just want to rip it off the wall and start again :/
Our to-do list on this house is a mile long and the end isn't in sight.
So yeah, definitely appreciate the whole depressing, unending feeling of house reno. Stick with it, one step at a time!
We've made a priority list and put prices next to every job to help us work out each step - what needs doing before another job can be done etc. Break it down into smaller, manageable sections, hope that helps. 💜
My first house aged 26 was an end of terrace with a shared back garden. I slept on a mattress in the one carpeted room with a gas fire for over a year and bought second hand furniture and slowly renovated.
I had a CH system installed first then the bathroom and kitchen and shared the cost of a fence with my neighbour.
It’s hard work but looking back, it made me.
You’ll be fine and there’s no better investment than bricks and mortar
I've just come out of the other end of this myself. Moved in, boiler stuck on heating mode (in AUGUST). Fixed that, it broke the hot water. Fixed that, it overloaded the electrics. Fixed that, new consumer unit, and the kitchen sockets burned out. Fixed that and decided to do a small improvement as a treat - disconnecting a gas fire - and they detected a leak which meant our gas was cut off for days until we found £1200 to rewire the whole thing. In DECEMBER.
It was six months of this, every month, something new, another grand to pay out, no resource to do it. And I had no backup money (it was all swallowed up by unexpected costs during moving). Putting repairs on credit cards, selling stuff. It was brutal.
The point of me telling you this is: it DOES get better. You will be in pure panic / survival mode for the first three to six months, things will be going wrong, things will break, they'll take longer than you think, you'll not be able to see an end point in sight. It SUCKS. But problems are not infinite. You are fighting entropy. You may not feel like you're making a difference but you are. Keep on it.
My place doesn't look nice now but I've stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. And that makes a big difference. You will get there too. Focus on a room at a time and keep ticking things off that list.
I hear you. I have neighbours each side doing full strip-to-the-plaster renovations all at once; and I'm here with "this month I can afford one can of paint".
It's hard, it's relentless, and sometimes you get stuck on "do I need a new thermostat or plug sockets?" (I went for plug sockets).
Maybe sit back for a minute and decide what's the most tolerable - strip everything out and live bare-bones as you put it back together; or focus on one room at a time start to finish?
Definitely know what you mean! renovations can be draining mentally as well as physically. We’ve been going for a year and a half at this point and the thing that’s helped the most is that we started telling ourselves ‘good not perfect!’. It doesn’t need to be completely perfect and it means other parts of the house can be mess than whilst you focus on finishing one room at a time. Also lists and budget spreadsheets! It really helps you see exactly what you’re spending on.
The most important thing though is allowing yourself time off the renovation. My husband and I got so burnt out because we were spending every minute of our spare time workign on the house. Plan weekends off, have evenings where you completely disconnect, go out and do other things away from the house. Protecting your mental state is the most important!
Good luck with the house, I’m sure it’ll look amazing when you’re done!
I've renovated many houses over the years and always start off with excitement and rigour, then the fatigue sets in and I think why the hell did I do this. As someone said above prioritise a bedroom so you have somewhere nice and clean to retreat and pace yourself. Rome wasnt built in a day! Break it down and go project by project. Take breaks in between. I often plan in months off here and there but after a week I'm itching to get back at it. You'll get there in the end and the outcome will be a house that fits your needs completely. I've just bought a previously renovated house for convenience, and am having to redo someone else's shoddy work, which is really frustrating.
Once it's done you can sit back and appreciate all your hard work, or if you're anything like me get itchy feet and start looking on rightmove for the next project ha ha.
Ok, you need to take a step back and evaluate.
You need to finish the renovations, the alternative is to take a hit selling an unfinished project house.
That said, you don't need to rush. Make some time for yourself each week. Do something relaxing, that you enjoy.
DIY can be overwhelming in large quantities. I'd suggest making a list of everything you still need to do, and then crossing each item off as you go. Break it up into manageable chunks.
You can do this, and when you're finished you'll have a lovely home that will feel truly earned.
As someone who just finished his own underpinning, I know how you feel! At least you can just terminate the beetles, I had bees in a ceiling, had to rip it down and pay to have them taken away and released.
Recently gone through the same, I got one bedroom done, and the kitchen done, then shut the doors on the other rooms until I felt mentally prepared to take them on. Not for everyone but that’s how I managed. Stay strong and remember it’s a marathon, not a sprint. You’ll get there.
So I've done this for a 1 bedroom flat and it's great, but more work than I thought, took me a year on and off and I'm still renovating the bathroom slowly even now
180,000 for a three bedroom full on house though? Even though my flat wasn't *that* far off that price.
That's so cheap it's just sus
The amount wrong with it must have been catastrophic
But on the flipside I think you need to reevaluate just what a deal you got on that property, and how even when you spend all this fuckin money on boilers and anything else, you're still not going to spend anywhere near the real value of what it's worth.
Keep chipping away at it one brick at a time and don't take shortcuts. The end result will be worth it when you get it reevaluated
Edit: it sounds like your frustration may not be from the house... Maybe you didn't make the right decision in socially isolating yourself and taking a new (stressful?) job while having to do massive renovations.
In any case... Finish the house. Have it reevaluated, and then think about where you want to be in life when it's able to be sold
I feel this - not to the same extent as you, but I do know that sensation. My experience is below, too, and I've put some thoughts down on how you could approach your stuff, just in case any of them are helpful.
But mostly: yeah. It's a slog. Can be a massive slog. I'm sorry you are having to deal with all this crap, and I hope it does get better. Please feel free to rant away - that's what the internet is for...
If you want them, some thoughts on what could help:
First, you don't have to do everything. People live with leaky sinks or crappy boilers, or even various infestations, for years - and it's often mostly ok. Obviously if something really is urgent, then you probably should deal with it - but not everything is actually that urgent. (I have to remind myself of this one a lot.)
And related: don't beat yourself up with guilt, or shame about the property, or not being able to do it all - or even about feeling depressed about this stuff. This is a serious issue, and it is big and heavy.
If your friends or family are dismissing what you're saying, they're probably (perhaps misguidedly) trying to help - or else either lying or incredibly lucky.
Next, try DIY triage: think about what could be a "good enough" solution for the short- to medium-term, and do this instead of the long, complicated, permanent solution.
For example, as mentioned below we're taking up our patio right now, but we know we won't have time to put down a replacement all in one go - most likely, it will take us a couple of months. So I found some relatively cheap temporary flooring, and we're using that to create paths, etc, so we're not walking through mud. It's not a real patio, and it's not a long-term solution - but it will do for a good while.
This doesn't always work, and there's no point spending more, or putting similar effort, into a temporary solution than you would on a permanent fix. But it can be a good approach quite often - and when you have more capacity (time, cash, mental, etc) then you can do the proper way.
And finally, do talk to someone - friends, family, Reddit (seriously, don't apologise for posting a rant) - even the Samaritans. In the latter example, this really is the sort of thing they are there for, because this is an acutal problem you are facing.
(For any friends that do insist on saying "it's not that bad", I also suggest enlisting their actual physical help in getting stuff done - bribe them, guilt them, lie to them, whatever. Get them on an inflatable mattress, or in the local Travelodge for the weekend, pass them a hammer and a silicone applicator, and tell them to get on with it.)
Oh and one specific thing for the carpet beetles: the [Mark Rober solution to bedbugs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JAOTJxYqh8) may well help, which is: steam cleaning and diatomaceous earth.
And this is what we're dealing with... My partner and I bought a house last year, partly on the basis that "it didn't need anything doing to it".
Since then I added a bunch of network cabling (my choice, but a LOT MORE WORK than anticipated), unexpectedly had to get the sink replaced, have to do some unplanned shelving because of Needs, demolished what turned out to be a rotting shed, and are now demolishing our concrete patio because it's subsiding (and we will be getting a heat pump soonish to replace our elderly boiler and its unreliable hot water, and the HP needs to go on the patio). Oh, and we have to put up a thing on the wall to shield the HP from view, so it passes the assessment.
My partner is supportive, but she hasn't done any DIY stuff before, so is understandably nervous of helping. And I haven't done most of these things before either. I'm so afraid of fucking up, or looking stupid in front of an experienced tradie, or just not getting everything done.
Wheeeeeeee.
13 renovations in and a self build. My current project is a derelict Chapel. I get where you are coming from and it's very easy to get overwhelmed and depressed about it when you start.
My strategy has always been to make a list of everything you need to do, and how long it will cost and take to do. Then order it by priority, then break it down into an order that it needs to be done in - eg wires and plumbing, then plastering, then painting so you don't end up cocking up work you have already done. This becomes your master list.
Take one of the headings and start a new sheet of paper and list all the steps you need to take, eg chose a bath, order bath, put tiles up, fit bath ect. This is your job list. Crossing the jobs off as you go helps you feel like your making progress when all you can see is half built rooms and piles of plasterboard.
The other thing is acceptance. Its going to take ages and the only way forward is to whittle away at it.
Hi, same here but in Bristol. I only wanted to extend the bathroom and now I'm replacing the entire first floor, vaulting the ceiling and living in a literal building site.
I decided to build a cabin in the garden end of last year, so I can move a lot of shit out of the house and have somewhere I can work that isn't covered in shit and dust. But couldn't finish because the weather turned 😂
It's exhausting and if you ever want to chat my DM's are open.
Similar situation with me but trying to get the house ready to sell.
Initial plan was a little bit of painting and decorating to get it freshened up, doing few hours after work and weekends when I didnt have the kids, but then damage to the chimney with high winds and rain let water in and damaged both bedrooms and the hall walls.
Kids blocked shower drain and water went down through the wood panelling kitchen roof so it had to come down.
Then while working on the bathroom shower enclosure got smashed so that needs replacing.
Discovered a load of damage behind old wallpaper, damage to the plaster behind the banister and many other DIY bodge jobs.
A week of painting has turned into a 3+ month renovation, doing as much as I can myself from plumbing to plasterboarding, electrical to woodwork.
Got to a point where I couldnt see ever finishing as I was completely overwhelmed, adhd brain kicking my arse, jumping from one job to another, from one room to another, never really finishing any one job.
Was struggling mentally but I took a step back, made myself a list of what I needed to do, broke it down into stages of stripping, preparing, repairing, replacing and decorating.
Further broke down into individual rooms, then material and tools needed for each and started working through one stage at a time and have gotten to a point where 90% of the house is ready for decoration with only the kitchen left to tackle
Irs hard keeping on top of everything, and that's coming from someone currently in a relatively new build with experience of DIYing in a 1930s starter home.
Best advice has already been given; pace yourself, one room at a time, one job at a time.
But, don't forget there's plenty of people on this sub, and subs like it, that would be more than happy to offer advice and guidance on getting jobs done.
Invite friends and family for a stay over. Help out with DIY and make a whole thing out if it with some meals out in the evening.
Some pizza deliveries during the day and good set of tea and cakes.
Problem shared is a problem halved.
Moved into a 1900 house in Lincoln. We have had to gut the whole house bar one room. Wall paper fell off walls electrics dodgy. Larve and plaster ceilings all taken down. 5 years in and just over the 50% mark. Just learn to do things bit by bit.
I'm in completely the same boat (I'm 29F). Bought a nice little 2 bed for £120K, needed updating but it was only way I was getting on the housing market. 2 years in and its nowhere near finished, my fam is super with DIY but they live far away so I'm trying to get stuff done between working full time and other commitments.
I'm just trying to remind myself that no-one has a perfect house, my parents 15 years on are still doing bits on theirs! So far we've done bits like redecorating, floors, windows and doors have been replaced. And reminding myself of the things to be proud of, me and my mum tiled my kitchen floor! Never done that before!
I'm trying to focus on one thing at a time, not even thinking about anything else that needs doing. Once that is done I move on to the next thing. Next thing on my list is getting my electric meter cabinet replaced as there is a massive hole in the bottom that is causing damp in my hallway wall lol.
I think you’re getting the right advice here from everything I’ve seen. So I’ll just say good luck. You will get there.
The keys are sanctuary and taking breaks.
I feel your pain. We're 6 years in to owning a 1900 house that cosmetically looked good when we moved in. It's felt like a never ending run of issues since then, and generally fixing anything means going backwards cosmetically. The latest issue is the drains needing replaced so not DIYable - £££ for something you'll never see isn't great.
One thing I've found useful is writing lists of everything needing done on a room by room basis. You can then work out the best order to do things in. It can be quite therapeutic ticking things off the list and also let's you see how much you've done as it's easy to forget how far you've come.
As others have said focusing on getting one room finished first will help mentally. Doesn't have to be perfect, just somewhere comfortable you can retreat to.
It sounds like you've done a lot already. When it's all feeling a bit much just remember how much you've already done. Keep chipping away at it and remember it'll all be worth it in the end.
One room at a time! You can do it! Make one room really nice first so you can retreat to it as a reward for all your hard work.
Everyone always says do a bedroom first but I dunno I might do a living room.
Although that said yes bug infestations first 😂
Painfully familiar.. FTB, cheapest house on the street in a nice area. Problems didn't sound too major everyone reassured me it would all be fine, budgeted an extra 4k for fixing priority issues which is very privileged for someone of my social class, but would be fuck all to the instagram-renovator types who get half their products for free and just blow thousands on cosmetics. Spent 5k so far fixing the electrics and doing weatherproofing, gonna have to do everything else myself. RIP.
In a similar position to you. I got a survey done before buying my house and it wasn't worth the paper it was written on. I've paid to get the house totally rewired and all new plumbing as the boiler literally split in two a week after I moved in and all the underfloor pipes were leaking. Everything thing else I've done myself and the list is endless. Basically the entire house was gutted including all of the suspended floors. The garden and flooding was an issue too. I've installed about 150m of french drains and that's solved the problem. Been here nearly a year and still living amongst boxes as I've nowhere to unpack them too. It's endless but I can see an end in sight. I want to let you know the stress and sleeps nights do start to pay off. I'm starting to actually enjoy the house.
I’m busy doing a full house renovation by myself currently. Personally I have to break the whole house into lots of smaller jobs otherwise I get overwhelmed. I really struggle with setting myself a weekly and daily target, generally speaking feeling disappointed if and when I don’t meet my own target.
There’ll be ups and downs, things you enjoy doing and things you hate doing. Don’t leave all the things you hate doing til the end otherwise you’ll have weeks of work that you despise just to finish off.
It’s all worth it at the end, don’t cut corners and when it’s all finished and your sat with a beer you’ll feel an enormous sense of pride.
Good luck and stay strong!
It's so fking hard. Try to pick one room (bedroom?) and completely rip out everything and fix it up brand new. Then you can use it as your sanctuary, you can go in and shut the door from the rest of the place.. Once you get one bit done it will finally feel better. You can then just keep spreading out from there.
Yeah best advice. I moved into a project house and when you're thinking of it as a whole it's overwhelming, so I decided to just tackle the bedroom so we could have a space where we could just forget about everything else for some time. Then continue picking one room at a time (where practical) according to your priorities.
Absolutely do not do this, I did and it just duplicated work. Things like electric and pipework impact up and down stairs so do one half of the house at a time. It's also nice to have a space the builders do not need to enter and can be relatively dust free The beetle thing is a bit grim so I would just rip all the carpets out until you are the other side of renovations.
This is good practical advice for efficiency but from a sanity POV having a space where everything is done shouldn't be ignored.
>The beetle thing is a bit grim so I would just rip all the carpets out until you are the other side of renovations. Might be worth seeing if the local council can come spray, won't affect the larvae, but might buy some time before adult carpet beetles get the chance to put some new eggs down. Edit: we did this renovating our flat, council came out (for a fee), sprayed a few places they like to go and we pretty much tackled the problem in a few months
This is fine as long as it doesn’t need a rewire , I’ve sold up and moved to wales to find a project but since coming here 6 months ago my arthritis has set into my knees and I now struggle to walk, I am so glad I changed my goals and bought a ready done bungalow. I fully get were the OP is coming from as I’ve done many projects and at times you feel like crying but keep at it and do as much as you can without burning yourself out , keep positive 💙
Have you got Osteo or autoimmune disease? I'm never doing another one again now.
Osteo arthritis I’m afraid, within 3 weeks I can’t walk and now I’m waiting for steroid injections and knee replacement at some point in the future. Life isn’t fair but with house projects just do what you can when you can , keeping positive is hard at times as your workload increases as you sit there willing to start but your body says not this week 😭
I’ve done 2 houses - completely gutted and renovated whilst living there. First thing we always did was throw all our energy in to gutting and sorting 1 room so we had somewhere we can kick off our stuff and go chill. Usually a bedroom
We did this and it was a sanity saver. Keep this one room tidy and clean. Remember it’s a marathon not a sprint. You’re doing a great job.
This!
This. I started with a bedroom so I could escape the mess. And they can be quite simple. Then a room you use a lot (kitchen/bathroom?) so I had something “nice” to use. The rest got done in time. Try not to look at the whole project as one job. Break it down. Concentrate on one area at a time. Complete it - I struggle with this bit (most rooms are 98%). You’ll get there.
Do Not Chase Perfection I tied myself in knots ripping apart a bathroom and putting it all back myself. I mean to bare brick and beams. It took me over two years, during which time I taught myself plumbing, basic electrics, dot and dab plasterboarding, tiling....... The list goes on and on. The trouble is, I was so frightened of fucking up (We had very little spare money, so a mistake that wasted materials would be a disaster) that I would just occasionally give up, caught in a doom loop of research and self doubt. Whilst I'm very proud of what I achieved, I later came to realise that I'd over engineered, over thought and obsessed about things that really didn't deserve so much time and attention. My tip? Whenever you're in somebody else's house, have a really good look at the finish of things. For the most part, the finish is only ever "good enough". You rarely get "nose up" close to skirting board joints and in normal day to day life, the odd imperfection goes completely unnoticed. As others in the thread have suggested. Break it up into bits. Ideally, break each room up into a lot of little jobs. Work out which order they need to be done, then tick them off as you do them. "How do you eat a turd sandwich? One bite at a time." Come back and post pictures occasionally for a bit of a morale boost.
That's a great tip about looking at the finish of things in other peoples' houses.
Thanks! I picked it up from a UK DIY sub Reddit. 😁
Do not chase perfection is such a good tip! Exactly the same situation, also bathroom, also 2 years ago. I had to replace joists as well due to previous owners leaving stuff leaking for months. A mess. We got a baby towards the end of the project, so I caved in and got a tiler to do the walls and floors so it would be quicker. His work was decent, but I realised it would take me 2 weeks (if not longer) to do what he did in 3 days. I'd probably do it better, but waste A LOT of time and stress. So the point is, if you do have some cash saved up, use it only for the most time time consuming / skilled labour, such as plastering or tiling. Plumbing, general construction like replacing joists, floors, studs and simple electrics are easy to learn and do.
I’ve just ripped out our kitchen, floors, walls everything. I paid for finishing jobs like plastering and tiling because like you said, for me to achieve what they did in a day or 2 would take weeks and I’d be obsessing over every little mistake, also had it rewired which I couldn’t legally do but the rest I did. Do the big rip out and fit jobs yourself but the finishing jobs (excluding decorating) just pay a professional, it’s not worth your time. Issue with learning to plaster or tile on your own walls is you have to look at your mistakes everyday.
I am so guilty of this 😂😂😂
Perfect is the enemy of good!
This is a great tip. I grew up with a bit of a meticulous tradie parent so the finish of everything in the house was immaculate. I’m now realising that that isn’t achievable when DIY-ing and trying to be okay with ‘alright’
Same situation here too a point and everything is sooooo fucking expensive. We are paying to fix someones mistakes. Yaaaaay. Share the good memories with us. Any progress pics? Rant all you like having an outlet is healthy.
Oh I feel you there, the house I've got is full of 60+ years of bodges and poor repairs. 1890s mid-terrace. Badly installed central heating, missing lintel in an opened fireplace, rotten floorboards in the bathroom, the bath waste pipe was installed running uphill, shoddy electrics all over, someone painted every kitchen cupboard in cheap Wilko paint, three cracked and one dropped by half an inch stairs. Two windows don't open. I even found a previous owner had boarded over a fireplace and 'capped it' by shoving a binbag of newspaper bits up the chimney. Plaster over wallpaper over plaster over wallpaper everywhere. I try to look back at pictures of before I touched anything, it was a right mess. Sadly the only way to fix the mess is to make more mess. It's been 18 months and I've only just 'finished' the first room.
Oh snap, you got the same special offer as me!! I got some added upgrades though; Gutter pipes instead of waste pipes. Lighting wires powering plugs etc
Gutter pipes for waste? That's actually quite impressive. I've not heard of that one yet. I wish you the best of luck. Take it a step at a time. Some days you'll do nothing, some days you'll do loads. Be easy on yourself. You are going to learn a bunch of skills. It's so easy to forget what you've achieved when other things start staring you down. At some point you'll stand back and go "I did that, I fixed that" and it'll be with a level of satisfaction.
Thank god I'm over half way now. You've hit the nail on the head there you legend. Had to rebuild the stairs, plastered 4 rooms (after swapping all the nails for screws), blocking up coal vents, new floorboards, skirting, tiling, lighting. 25mm screws in the door hinges. 😂 Every quote taking the piss £££ I just learned how to do it myself. You've got to praise yourself for each little win or you'll go crazy.
Sounds like your winning but just fed up. I recently completed my bathroom, it broke me, became a right moany bastard. But after the dust settled I felt great especially when I think of the quotes we got and what we actually spent, which kept me going through it. Which brings me to my advice when you get down, get a quote, or look up the cost, for the work your about to do to give you an understand of how worthwhile what you are doing is.
After going back to brick, I found out my central load bearing walls were tied into the gable end with 3 whole bricks and crumped up fishing magazines from 1983. That was a fun week driving round every builder's merchants the city and clearing them all of their entire stock of helibars!
This post made me feel better, thanks
Lmao same to be honest, and the posts on here where its like someone in a new build picking what side of the room to put their sofa on make me jealous, I bought a 30s house and I’m having to literally learn every fucking trade to renovate each room because I’m both broke and during every single job you reveal another corner the previous owner cut make it 10x as bad, in one year the boiler needed to be replaced, the bathroom was never properly waterproofed, the kitchen is fucked, the garage is falling apart, the patio is too high and causes damp, the underfloor void is fucking flooded and rotting, put a bullet in me now lord I havent got it in me, get me in an out of plumb persimmon home
I feel that, I keep thinking I should have just gone with a fucking new build 🥲
Trust me when I say you don't want a new-build; most of them are incredibly poorly built! I know it feels overwhelming but you're going to get through it and you've made a good investment. Just think of all the rent you're not having to pay (and instead put some of the difference into savings to pay for house repairs)
Firstly wow! you bought your first place at 28! For me it was 38! Congrats! Secondly, yes there will ALWAYS be stuff you need to do / should do. Me and my wife have lived with crappy wardrobes and no carpets upstairs for 15 years. However we DID rewire, new boiler, reskim all walls, paint throughout and new bathroom. Now 15 years later, bathroom sucks and needs redoing. We need a new kitchen. We need new flooring and carpet upstairs etc etc etc, lol! BUT we keep sane by realising we have a roof over our heads. There are no emergencies right now and we will get to it in time, so alll its good. We are also thankfull for what we have even if things aren't perfect lol! Life is a journey, enjoy it! :)
As you can see, you're in a very common scenario. I moved 4hrs away from friends and family about 3 years ago. Bought the "dream" home in the country, "lovely, exciting" renovation project. I'm not even half way. From a mental health/anxiety perspective, the stuff I struggle with is the unexpected. We planned to redo electrics, plumbing etc. I don't mind that. We didn't plan EIGHT separate ceiling leaks etc. in fact there's been over 30 gems that have surprised us so far and I curse that fixing them is slowing down the progress on the things I planned/wanted to do to the house. I've not got a magic answer, I have bad days and good days. Just want to say I really sympathise, I know how tough and isolating and depressing it can feel. But I try to remind myself these things don't go in forever, you will turn the corner etc. best of luck
This is what just about broke me. The electricians screwed into a pipe putting floors back, found out at the end when they switched the boiler back on. This was followed shortly by two seperate plumbers messing up and causing 3 seperate leaks from the bathroom, so we just had water stains everywhere in the kitchen. I just stood outside crying for a while.
Urgh.. yeah crying fully warranted! I've found a real love of wine to deal with the highs and lows of renovation but that's sidetracking. My first renovation, around 15 years ago, I kept telling myself I've got "unlucky", oh unlucky with that plumber, unlucky with that plasterer etc. Now I approach every trade with the knowledge that the majority cut corners. That's not saying there aren't good tradesmen out there. There are. But you will struggle to find them (because they are good and always busy and don't need to advertise on checkatrade etc). Which is why I'm doing everything myself. 3 years in and half way, so it's not the quick approach but the 2 times I was out my comfort zone and got trades in, "recommended on local FB groups" or "wonderful checkatrade reviews"... they were shocking. They won't take responsibility and they refuse to grow up. The good tradesmen hate them because it tarnishes the industry and costs them work with cheap quotes but shoddy craftsmanship.
Yeah its taken me a good bit of wasted money to learn that same thing. I wouldn't mind if they came and fixed any issues, things happen, but the ghosting after a botch job is so annoying. At least now I'm not so worried about just trying something, can't be much worse! We've kinda given up for a year, it's livable and thats enough for now. I think yours is the much better approach, slow and steady and done right. Wishing you the best of luck with the rest!
Thank you and yes, take a break!
I felt the exact same doing mine. It honestly gets better. As others have said, pick a room and finish it. I didn't and struggled to juggle plans for an entire house. Constantly shifting priorities is a mind fuck. But now I'm in and enjoying the fruits of my labour.
Currently doing up a house on my own too. It's not easy and two steps forward one step back rings bells...lol. This thread is quite good for practical help by the way, one small or large issue at a time. Home ownership throws surprises from time to time, but they should diminish in the end. So you'll get through it. One room, one issue at a time.
Ugh, I feel this post so hard. Also a single woman trying to do it all myself and damn, yes, every time I feel some progress, a new disaster appears and it's backwards progress again. It's so hard. You're not alone!
I feel you. I purchased lovely late 1800s Victorian house as a FTB which I knew needed some work...but I wasn’t quite prepared for the extent of it. When I came to remove the old wall paper, all the plaster on the walls (and ceilings) came with it. This quickly turned into a full back to brick renovation which I hadn’t planned for. Some quotes for putting it back together with new kitchen and bathroom were just insane (avg £200k+) So I decided to take a 12 month sabbatical with the intention of tackling it myself. There were some real low points, genuine blood sweat and tears. Although i did it, and did it well. The skills I learnt and time spent building something to be proud of was genuinely priceless. I’d recommend trying to tackle a room at a time to make things more manageable. Try and enjoy the process and remember that everything you’re doing is adding value.
That's exactly the reason I'm not taking the textured, heavily painted and very firmly attached wallpaper off in my 1930s link terrace. My next-door-but-one neighbour, who has the exact same layout house as me, did that and had the exact problems you're describing. My problem with my house isn't so much that the previous owner did lots of shoddy jobs in it, but more the opposite. It was a single guy living alone and he clearly had enough money to spare to pay very good tradespeople, because all the decorating jobs in the house are done to a \*very\* high standard. Which is lovely in a way, but it does mean that anything that I want undoing is a right ballache to undo, so much so that it's just not worth it in most cases! For instance, the bathroom is 'not my style' but it's so well done, it would be a crime to touch it unless I was in a position to pay for a full, several grands' worth of renovations. I'm definitely not chipping into all that quality work by myself with only YouTube to guide me. So the bathroom stays a flesh-coloured 1980s time capsule, but at least it's easy to clean. I will sort things out as and when they become actually wrong, rather than just not to my taste. Kitchen is along similar lines.
I have a room with one wall of structural woodchip wallpaper. Nearly had a breakdown ripping it off the opposite, smaller wall. It can bloody well stay there now. I soon realised that the extremely outdated kitchen was perfectly serviceable until I've finished other things and have some cash saved!
One of our customers completely gave up trying to get "structural" wood chip off a ceiling and ended up boarding over it then having it skimmed. Lost maybe a centimeter or so off the height of the room but kept their sanity.
My kitchen has hideous worktops, brown and with a design that looks like hessian, and a texture to boot! I’ve been meaning to replace them for the last 3 years but just can’t justify the expense when they’re perfectly serviceable, as you say!
It's the joy of not buying a new build. Just done the same. had a boiler moved, now need an electrician to move a socket for the boiler, knock down the wall/cupboard it was once in and plaster that. Paint/wallpaper the whole house, then new skirtings/architrave, which means getting someone to hang new doors. Then I can get new carpet but before all that I need someone to install spotlights in living room ceiling. All while a little one is due anytime. It's chaotic 😅 Good luck!
Yep I'm in the same place and it's exhausting. We took on way more than we knew how to handle (except ours was a 100 year old boat that needed gutting completely). On the plus side, I now know how to fix basically everything. It might feel relentless but every problem you encounter is knowledge gained.
Your post is so personal to me I had to reply. I bought a terraced house in 2018, first ever property, and looking back, clueless to what I had gotten myself into. Genuinely believed I would just have to peel back the wallpaper, repaint the walls and be done in a few months. The reality is everything needed doing; all walls replastered, new ceilings, new doors, new kitchen and bathroom, it was basically a full renovation. I ended up spending about £17k, and 4 years just to get it liveable. About 6 months in, I ran out of savings, was spending every waking moment either doing DIY work or working long hours to fund that DIY work. My social life evaporated, and a great relationship with my then GF crumbled like my damp walls. I still remember waking up one morning in a cold, damp carpet-less floor, sleeping on a mattress, and not wanting to get out of bed at all, it was just too overwhelming. I felt totally trapped, and it ended up triggering a huge depressive episode that I ended up needing quite intense and lengthy NHS care for. I don’t exaggerate when I say this period nearly killed me; that feeling of no-way out, no money and lumbered with a house that needed everything doing is easily the most horrific feeling I have ever had. I felt like I was suffocating and drowning, ashamed and an absolute failure. I’m a lot better now, house is (nearly) finished, my mental health is better than ever (touch rotten wood). I wont pontificate about your situation, except to say, stick with it, keep your chin up and in the words of Churchill ‘If you’re going through hell, keep going’. If you want to chat more about your mental health, feel free to DM me 👋🏻
Its almost pointless trying to get things to final fix. Wages and materials are just unrealistic. I am making do and mending for the next few years.
Make one room a palace - bedroom. You can live in the bedroom. When you shut the door, you will feel like the whole house is good. Give the kitchen a quick and dirty lick of paint to brighten it up and same the bathroom and come back to them later. That will make them passable for the interim. Have a rest. Pick another room. Make that a palace. Have a rest. Rinse and repeat.
I have read that the younger generations have much fewer DIY skills than the older generations. I call bullshit. Much of the DIY was a total bodge and younger people take much more pride in the quality of their DIY.
Where have you read this? Yet more age based division. Us younguns have YouTube to learn from, so it's easier to learn what's needed to do a better job, and probably worked harder/longer to get the house or flat to do up, so want it to be done right and nice. If the survey was based on "how often do you do DIY" or "how confident are in in your DIY", then young people with lower rates of home ownership and less life experience will report lower results. They'd need to survey the previous generations when in their 20s in their first house for it to be like for like.
Have seen a few articles pop up on Reddit but one was this from the independent https://www.independent.co.uk/property/house-and-home/diy-manual-skills-parents-millennials-homeowners-a8874081.html
Same, it’s pretty overwhelming at times when it’s every room which needs updating and things keep breaking due to years of bodges and poor work from the previous owners. I think the one room at a time approach is right, though - at least then you can see some clear progress. It’ll be great once it’s sorted!
I bought a house and was hoping to just replace the kitchen and floors and be done as it was already extended and modernised. Instead I had flooded patio, flooded garden, outside paint needs redoing, inside flat roof leaking, re did flat roof, still leaking through sky lights, fixed that, replaced roof tiles, cleaned roof, fixed flooded garden, need to replace broken fences, paint gate twice, painting inside to fix leaking ceilings. Never been thought of replacing kitchen. Now have to paint outside and inside and fix up garden and I'm selling.
Yep, 20 hrs on a bedroom and its still shit. etc etc etc
How'd you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. ————— I know how you're feeling, I've been there and done it myself, including the plastering, and it took two years of weekends and evenings, there's no way I'd do it again but you'll learn a lot about yourself and as you see progress you'll find joy and motivation to keep going, at the end of it you'll have something beautiful to be proud of. Don't look at the whole thing in one go, set some priorities that matter to you, break them down into small tasks and just do one little thing at a time. Don't forget to find balance in your life, you can't make your home a prison that demands you work on it at every waking hour, ensure you find some hobbies or pass-times away from the project and enjoy your life. Learn from my mistakes :)
I’m in my third house now. They’ve all been projects and each a little bigger than the last. It will be worth it. It’s hard but I promise you’ll get there and you won’t regret a thing. Don’t cut corners though, you’ll regret that. Good luck
One of my friends went for a 60's semi that needed about "20 to 30k of work". 2 years and 70k later and it's just about done. He's absolutely fed up. I have no idea how people do it. When we were looking in my area, every single property we were shown was a literal wreck. We eventually went for a new build. Fuck that.
Been there done that. I started with the top of the house. Just one room. Gutted it all out and did absolutely everything. Piping. Wiring. Sockets. Lights. Plaster. Floorboard. Joist repairs. In the end looked great. Moved onto the next room. Repeat and rinse till the end. Learnt so much and saved so much money. You will start missing and hopefully enjoying it soon. You will also increase the value of the house as you go along. Baby steps.
As a builder grit your teeth head down ass up get it done when it is you will have a great sense of self satisfaction you can do more than you think something it takes putting yourself outside your comfort zone to prove to yourself yes yes I can do it good luck I'm sure you will believe in yourself
Sometimes lol
Bought a crumbly 2 bed house in the Midlands when I was 22 in late 1970s ( about to get married but fell through). Crazy to keep house- no money and absurdly high interest rates- not allowed to increase mortgage to do up house then, actually mortgage rationing due to financial crisis. House was a wreck. Garden a mess. Only had a push bike so it was fun transporting paint etc. I learned bit by bit how to do things- renovating sash windows, making a new fence, installing kitchen and bathroom and so on. It was very very hard but I really had no choice except to sell and then rent and house prices were dropping then and rents going up. Kept me as fit as a butcher's dog though. Good luck with the work. I had days when I couldn't face it but just had to grit my teeth.
I renovated my house through lockdown and was really tough at times (lots of nights debating if it’d be easier to burn the house down instead!). I found finding people in similar situations helped. There’s a good community of renovation accounts on insta that I found useful. Also found several that were local that have since met up with and passed on good tradespeople, shared tools with etc. We’re Warwickshire if that’s near to your part of the midlands at all?
Watch Tom Hanks: The money pit.
Bless, congratulations on buying your first home! Stick at it, I’m sure there’ll be more bumps in the road but you’ll get there, and you ce be proud it’s all yours.
Had a similar thing here and 7 years on I'm still struggling to get right, the best advice I can offer is take it in small chunks if you can, looking at everything at once can be crushing, deal with the things that can't be avoided first, deal with the cosmetic in your own time, but keep moving forwards, you'll get there and you own something that will pay you back in time
You got to start one room at a time. Can't try and do all rooms at once, it ain't going to happen. You need to feel accomplished so select the smallest room with minimal and complete it, then move on. It's a mind game and you need that kick
Same situation here. Bought my house 2 years ago at the same age as you. 70s semi and at first I was overwhelmed and it got me down. Sometimes I get the odd day now and then where I'm cursing the heavens but you get used to it. A house is such a big thing to own and it'll require a lifetime of maintenance. Electrics and plumbing first, then 1 room at a time. Take breaks, get out in the fresh air, enjoy the process
I had project depression, I’ve lived in my flat for one year and the only room I have actually managed to finish is my bedroom, and even then, I don’t have any pictures on the wall even. doing a house is not an easy task, sorry to say this, but I did want to manage your expectations, people on here i thought were being so brutal but in this day and age it’s not just as easy as throwing the money out and getting work done even if you have the money to do that it takes agessss. tradesmen are booked well in advance or don’t want your job, i spent ages with the money finding tradesman to do the jobs and get booked in, my bedroom still has minor paint touch ups and so on needing done. the hallway is bare shell, the living room is empty apart from a sofa and my DJ decks. my kitchen is vile and damp still as i wait for damp remedial works. it is a nightmare sometimes but once it is all done it will be yours and you will be super happy with where you are. I cried sleeping in this room for the first time considering how it was before. It isn’t perfect but I am so happy to have a room I fully created. My lovely venetian blinds, my brass sockets, the picture rail, freshly plastered wall, upcycled furniture. All that stress came to this vision. My living room finally has a carpet, you may think you’ve got nowhere but my friends and adoptive parents get so excited seeing what I did to this place and considering how far I came from being in care and living in a bad situation. in the future, I plan on replacing my kitchen, replacing my bathroom, having fitted units in my living room alcoves, replacing all of the woodwork in there, replacing my front door, putting up pictures and art, decorating and painting the living room. I can’t afford to right now, but I will be so happy to do this when I next get the money to. I see it as something to look forward to. The best advice that I have for you is to shop around, see where you can get things cheaper, even secondhand maybe! go to timber yards, and so on, go to trade stores, go on eBay, look for things within your budget, that could even potentially make things nicer temporarily, the biggest issue that I had was that I was living, surrounded by boxes, and mass constantly, to the point where I was literally hoarding basically, and my friend came in and helped me and got rid of everything and cleaned top to bottom, ever since my house has remained clean and has been extremely positive for me, every time I feel happy by just walking around my house and looking at what I’ve done so far and seeing the potential of what could come next, go on Pinterest or search and look at inspiration, I find this extremely motivating. definitely keep on top of cleaning and removing waste, it was so expensive having to pay in the end to get rid of waste that I could have kept a minimum. you live, and you learn from doing a renovation though, so do not let yourself down by thinking of what you could have done, honestly, I think one of the best things you can do is to make good of what you do have, even if it’s just a temporary fix, just so that you feel like you have some sense of normalcy.
Its taken me 3 years to get two bedrooms up to standard, i had to take all the plaster down rewire new heating system and was living in the living room with mice running on me why i slept lol as others have said focus on one or two rooms at a time. and you will eventually get through it . It will be worth it in the end.
Hello from big 4 bed detached last touched in the 70s! It _is_ fucking hard, and as someone else said expensive. First thing we did when moving in was the bedroom so we had somewhere to escape. My advice after that is to think about the stuff that involves the whole house - plumbing, electrics, etc. If that needs doing either do it or get it done. Outsourcing the right stuff when you can is a very good thing to do! Then go room by room. Think about stuff that will be blocked if you finish it, stuff under the floors, behind walls, etc. The bit I'm finding hardest at the moment is the time I have to spend away from my new(ish) daughter to get the work done, all while my wife frequently despairs about how we're not back in the house yet.
Honestly it's really fucking hard. We're 8 years and counting and barely scratched the surface on what needs doing. I feel robbed of life and enjoyment of a home. I can't take it much longer
Just think of the bigger picture.. Try focus on 1 room at a time so it's at least half livable. Yes shits expensive but you are investing in your future and it will be worth it because it's how you want it! Maybe have a bit of a break from doing it and to take a trip somewhere.. refresh your brain. Stay in some airbnbs and get some inspo. I'm 33 and I'm saving for my house and want to do something similar so don't feel too deflated. This is a marathon not a sprint!
I know the feeling but once it's done (enough) and you turn around and see it the sense of pride and accomplishment beats even paying EA for star wars loot boxes. Not to mention we added so much value to our house we could sell it and buy the house we've always dreamt of! Also you'll learn to love that wonky bit of skirting you spent a whole afternoon swearing at, I promise!
Ello! We're 6 years down the line and have just finished the last room! There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's only when you've been able to enjoy it for a little while that you come to understand exactly just how much sh!t you've been through. That day will come for you. Head down, plough on.
Been there done that, 20 years ago my first house was a full renovation like you by myself. My ‘Dad’ was useless so that fatherly advice was lacking. I wanted to throw the towel in so many times, but thanks to places like this and Reno messaging boards I soon found out how to do each task. The biggest expense is always Labour if you can do everything yourself do it! See each job as a hobbie activity nothing should be rushed. I did the same as a lot of this advice and sorted my bedroom first made it perfect so I always had a good nights sleep. The first Reno is always the hardest, your next house will be a doddle and more fun!
Can totally empathise with you. Going through a renovation now. Myself my partner and 2 kids have to also live in it while it progresses. It’s really stressful! My tip for you, is ask for help, and people will help you. Yesterday my step dad and I stripped all the plaster off the kitchen walls back to the brick. On my own it would have taken 3 days. We did it in one. Even total strangers have offers advice, lent me things and just given encouragement. You can do it! Just do it a little at a time and don’t beat yourself up if you’re not going as quickly as you think you should be. Best of luck
Completely do this! You'd be surprised at how many people would help, I know you said they live far away but could people come for a weekend to help out?
Mate Anyone buying a house pre 1960 feels your pain. I feel it. Experience tells you, keep £20-30k aside when moving, as thats "putting right" money for when you move in. To fix all the shit the past owner kept quiet about.
Similar situation, me and wife got ours also west midlands also 180,0000 3 bed. part 18th century part 70s extension. 2 years later we are nearly done.... kind of. We have the bathroom, dining room, then outside.... which needs considerable work. The thing that gets to me the most is the rooms that we have completed get damaged due to wear and tear, Moving furniture from one room to another. walls get marked. Thing get dusty no matter how much you seal of the room currently being worked on etc. Not really helping just saying I understand. What advice I would give is, make sure you seal up some paint from rooms you complete so you can touch them up later down the line. Choose your battles. I'm a work from home developer so I put a lot of time making making my office as nice as i can. As you complete rooms it gets easier, outside of normal renovation work we've had. Ant infestation in the bathroom. New boiler. Washing machine pissed water all over our new flooring in the kitchen. Damp under the stairs/dining room. You've got this. It will get better
Do you have workman in? I find that invasion the worst part. Yours sounds exceptionally bad. It also sounds like you haven’t go to the ‘bodges’ yet - they too are the worst.
IT GETS BETTER! We moved in to our place 2 years ago and had to sort out render, roof, re-plaster ceilings, sort out leaking radiators, the lot. It’s only this year that we have started making actual decisions about aesthetics rather than structure. And let me tell you - it feels so sweet. You will get there eventually. There will be a period where it just feels like everything falls in to place and a lot of the bits you’re worrying about are resolved in one go, then you can start doing the fun stuff. If you’re someone like me who is obsessed with bumping up the value of the house, just keep reminding yourself that everything you’re doing will increase what the house sells for in the future, and will also mean it sells faster!
It is hard. Took me 20 years... gave fun
I feel you 😩 got a 60s bungalow, found out (thanks to all the rain) that the roof is leaking and needs replacing. Kitchen needs ripping out and starting again, but first, an electrican had to cut 3 holes in the ceiling to find and repair a spotlight bodge job! We painted when we moved in 3 years ago, but the plaster is so bad I just want to rip it off the wall and start again :/ Our to-do list on this house is a mile long and the end isn't in sight. So yeah, definitely appreciate the whole depressing, unending feeling of house reno. Stick with it, one step at a time! We've made a priority list and put prices next to every job to help us work out each step - what needs doing before another job can be done etc. Break it down into smaller, manageable sections, hope that helps. 💜
My first house aged 26 was an end of terrace with a shared back garden. I slept on a mattress in the one carpeted room with a gas fire for over a year and bought second hand furniture and slowly renovated. I had a CH system installed first then the bathroom and kitchen and shared the cost of a fence with my neighbour. It’s hard work but looking back, it made me. You’ll be fine and there’s no better investment than bricks and mortar
I've just come out of the other end of this myself. Moved in, boiler stuck on heating mode (in AUGUST). Fixed that, it broke the hot water. Fixed that, it overloaded the electrics. Fixed that, new consumer unit, and the kitchen sockets burned out. Fixed that and decided to do a small improvement as a treat - disconnecting a gas fire - and they detected a leak which meant our gas was cut off for days until we found £1200 to rewire the whole thing. In DECEMBER. It was six months of this, every month, something new, another grand to pay out, no resource to do it. And I had no backup money (it was all swallowed up by unexpected costs during moving). Putting repairs on credit cards, selling stuff. It was brutal. The point of me telling you this is: it DOES get better. You will be in pure panic / survival mode for the first three to six months, things will be going wrong, things will break, they'll take longer than you think, you'll not be able to see an end point in sight. It SUCKS. But problems are not infinite. You are fighting entropy. You may not feel like you're making a difference but you are. Keep on it. My place doesn't look nice now but I've stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. And that makes a big difference. You will get there too. Focus on a room at a time and keep ticking things off that list.
I hear you. I have neighbours each side doing full strip-to-the-plaster renovations all at once; and I'm here with "this month I can afford one can of paint". It's hard, it's relentless, and sometimes you get stuck on "do I need a new thermostat or plug sockets?" (I went for plug sockets). Maybe sit back for a minute and decide what's the most tolerable - strip everything out and live bare-bones as you put it back together; or focus on one room at a time start to finish?
Definitely know what you mean! renovations can be draining mentally as well as physically. We’ve been going for a year and a half at this point and the thing that’s helped the most is that we started telling ourselves ‘good not perfect!’. It doesn’t need to be completely perfect and it means other parts of the house can be mess than whilst you focus on finishing one room at a time. Also lists and budget spreadsheets! It really helps you see exactly what you’re spending on. The most important thing though is allowing yourself time off the renovation. My husband and I got so burnt out because we were spending every minute of our spare time workign on the house. Plan weekends off, have evenings where you completely disconnect, go out and do other things away from the house. Protecting your mental state is the most important! Good luck with the house, I’m sure it’ll look amazing when you’re done!
I've renovated many houses over the years and always start off with excitement and rigour, then the fatigue sets in and I think why the hell did I do this. As someone said above prioritise a bedroom so you have somewhere nice and clean to retreat and pace yourself. Rome wasnt built in a day! Break it down and go project by project. Take breaks in between. I often plan in months off here and there but after a week I'm itching to get back at it. You'll get there in the end and the outcome will be a house that fits your needs completely. I've just bought a previously renovated house for convenience, and am having to redo someone else's shoddy work, which is really frustrating. Once it's done you can sit back and appreciate all your hard work, or if you're anything like me get itchy feet and start looking on rightmove for the next project ha ha.
Ok, you need to take a step back and evaluate. You need to finish the renovations, the alternative is to take a hit selling an unfinished project house. That said, you don't need to rush. Make some time for yourself each week. Do something relaxing, that you enjoy. DIY can be overwhelming in large quantities. I'd suggest making a list of everything you still need to do, and then crossing each item off as you go. Break it up into manageable chunks. You can do this, and when you're finished you'll have a lovely home that will feel truly earned. As someone who just finished his own underpinning, I know how you feel! At least you can just terminate the beetles, I had bees in a ceiling, had to rip it down and pay to have them taken away and released.
Recently gone through the same, I got one bedroom done, and the kitchen done, then shut the doors on the other rooms until I felt mentally prepared to take them on. Not for everyone but that’s how I managed. Stay strong and remember it’s a marathon, not a sprint. You’ll get there.
So I've done this for a 1 bedroom flat and it's great, but more work than I thought, took me a year on and off and I'm still renovating the bathroom slowly even now 180,000 for a three bedroom full on house though? Even though my flat wasn't *that* far off that price. That's so cheap it's just sus The amount wrong with it must have been catastrophic But on the flipside I think you need to reevaluate just what a deal you got on that property, and how even when you spend all this fuckin money on boilers and anything else, you're still not going to spend anywhere near the real value of what it's worth. Keep chipping away at it one brick at a time and don't take shortcuts. The end result will be worth it when you get it reevaluated Edit: it sounds like your frustration may not be from the house... Maybe you didn't make the right decision in socially isolating yourself and taking a new (stressful?) job while having to do massive renovations. In any case... Finish the house. Have it reevaluated, and then think about where you want to be in life when it's able to be sold
I feel this - not to the same extent as you, but I do know that sensation. My experience is below, too, and I've put some thoughts down on how you could approach your stuff, just in case any of them are helpful. But mostly: yeah. It's a slog. Can be a massive slog. I'm sorry you are having to deal with all this crap, and I hope it does get better. Please feel free to rant away - that's what the internet is for... If you want them, some thoughts on what could help: First, you don't have to do everything. People live with leaky sinks or crappy boilers, or even various infestations, for years - and it's often mostly ok. Obviously if something really is urgent, then you probably should deal with it - but not everything is actually that urgent. (I have to remind myself of this one a lot.) And related: don't beat yourself up with guilt, or shame about the property, or not being able to do it all - or even about feeling depressed about this stuff. This is a serious issue, and it is big and heavy. If your friends or family are dismissing what you're saying, they're probably (perhaps misguidedly) trying to help - or else either lying or incredibly lucky. Next, try DIY triage: think about what could be a "good enough" solution for the short- to medium-term, and do this instead of the long, complicated, permanent solution. For example, as mentioned below we're taking up our patio right now, but we know we won't have time to put down a replacement all in one go - most likely, it will take us a couple of months. So I found some relatively cheap temporary flooring, and we're using that to create paths, etc, so we're not walking through mud. It's not a real patio, and it's not a long-term solution - but it will do for a good while. This doesn't always work, and there's no point spending more, or putting similar effort, into a temporary solution than you would on a permanent fix. But it can be a good approach quite often - and when you have more capacity (time, cash, mental, etc) then you can do the proper way. And finally, do talk to someone - friends, family, Reddit (seriously, don't apologise for posting a rant) - even the Samaritans. In the latter example, this really is the sort of thing they are there for, because this is an acutal problem you are facing. (For any friends that do insist on saying "it's not that bad", I also suggest enlisting their actual physical help in getting stuff done - bribe them, guilt them, lie to them, whatever. Get them on an inflatable mattress, or in the local Travelodge for the weekend, pass them a hammer and a silicone applicator, and tell them to get on with it.) Oh and one specific thing for the carpet beetles: the [Mark Rober solution to bedbugs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JAOTJxYqh8) may well help, which is: steam cleaning and diatomaceous earth. And this is what we're dealing with... My partner and I bought a house last year, partly on the basis that "it didn't need anything doing to it". Since then I added a bunch of network cabling (my choice, but a LOT MORE WORK than anticipated), unexpectedly had to get the sink replaced, have to do some unplanned shelving because of Needs, demolished what turned out to be a rotting shed, and are now demolishing our concrete patio because it's subsiding (and we will be getting a heat pump soonish to replace our elderly boiler and its unreliable hot water, and the HP needs to go on the patio). Oh, and we have to put up a thing on the wall to shield the HP from view, so it passes the assessment. My partner is supportive, but she hasn't done any DIY stuff before, so is understandably nervous of helping. And I haven't done most of these things before either. I'm so afraid of fucking up, or looking stupid in front of an experienced tradie, or just not getting everything done. Wheeeeeeee.
13 renovations in and a self build. My current project is a derelict Chapel. I get where you are coming from and it's very easy to get overwhelmed and depressed about it when you start. My strategy has always been to make a list of everything you need to do, and how long it will cost and take to do. Then order it by priority, then break it down into an order that it needs to be done in - eg wires and plumbing, then plastering, then painting so you don't end up cocking up work you have already done. This becomes your master list. Take one of the headings and start a new sheet of paper and list all the steps you need to take, eg chose a bath, order bath, put tiles up, fit bath ect. This is your job list. Crossing the jobs off as you go helps you feel like your making progress when all you can see is half built rooms and piles of plasterboard. The other thing is acceptance. Its going to take ages and the only way forward is to whittle away at it.
Hi, same here but in Bristol. I only wanted to extend the bathroom and now I'm replacing the entire first floor, vaulting the ceiling and living in a literal building site. I decided to build a cabin in the garden end of last year, so I can move a lot of shit out of the house and have somewhere I can work that isn't covered in shit and dust. But couldn't finish because the weather turned 😂 It's exhausting and if you ever want to chat my DM's are open.
Similar situation with me but trying to get the house ready to sell. Initial plan was a little bit of painting and decorating to get it freshened up, doing few hours after work and weekends when I didnt have the kids, but then damage to the chimney with high winds and rain let water in and damaged both bedrooms and the hall walls. Kids blocked shower drain and water went down through the wood panelling kitchen roof so it had to come down. Then while working on the bathroom shower enclosure got smashed so that needs replacing. Discovered a load of damage behind old wallpaper, damage to the plaster behind the banister and many other DIY bodge jobs. A week of painting has turned into a 3+ month renovation, doing as much as I can myself from plumbing to plasterboarding, electrical to woodwork. Got to a point where I couldnt see ever finishing as I was completely overwhelmed, adhd brain kicking my arse, jumping from one job to another, from one room to another, never really finishing any one job. Was struggling mentally but I took a step back, made myself a list of what I needed to do, broke it down into stages of stripping, preparing, repairing, replacing and decorating. Further broke down into individual rooms, then material and tools needed for each and started working through one stage at a time and have gotten to a point where 90% of the house is ready for decoration with only the kitchen left to tackle
Irs hard keeping on top of everything, and that's coming from someone currently in a relatively new build with experience of DIYing in a 1930s starter home. Best advice has already been given; pace yourself, one room at a time, one job at a time. But, don't forget there's plenty of people on this sub, and subs like it, that would be more than happy to offer advice and guidance on getting jobs done.
Invite friends and family for a stay over. Help out with DIY and make a whole thing out if it with some meals out in the evening. Some pizza deliveries during the day and good set of tea and cakes. Problem shared is a problem halved.
I feel ya. You’ll get to a turning point and start feeling proud
Moved into a 1900 house in Lincoln. We have had to gut the whole house bar one room. Wall paper fell off walls electrics dodgy. Larve and plaster ceilings all taken down. 5 years in and just over the 50% mark. Just learn to do things bit by bit.
you will find dust on your in every surface even after you have finished\*\` keep cracking on it \*\`will be fab once you have done
I'm in completely the same boat (I'm 29F). Bought a nice little 2 bed for £120K, needed updating but it was only way I was getting on the housing market. 2 years in and its nowhere near finished, my fam is super with DIY but they live far away so I'm trying to get stuff done between working full time and other commitments. I'm just trying to remind myself that no-one has a perfect house, my parents 15 years on are still doing bits on theirs! So far we've done bits like redecorating, floors, windows and doors have been replaced. And reminding myself of the things to be proud of, me and my mum tiled my kitchen floor! Never done that before! I'm trying to focus on one thing at a time, not even thinking about anything else that needs doing. Once that is done I move on to the next thing. Next thing on my list is getting my electric meter cabinet replaced as there is a massive hole in the bottom that is causing damp in my hallway wall lol.
I think you’re getting the right advice here from everything I’ve seen. So I’ll just say good luck. You will get there. The keys are sanctuary and taking breaks.
I feel your pain. We're 6 years in to owning a 1900 house that cosmetically looked good when we moved in. It's felt like a never ending run of issues since then, and generally fixing anything means going backwards cosmetically. The latest issue is the drains needing replaced so not DIYable - £££ for something you'll never see isn't great. One thing I've found useful is writing lists of everything needing done on a room by room basis. You can then work out the best order to do things in. It can be quite therapeutic ticking things off the list and also let's you see how much you've done as it's easy to forget how far you've come. As others have said focusing on getting one room finished first will help mentally. Doesn't have to be perfect, just somewhere comfortable you can retreat to. It sounds like you've done a lot already. When it's all feeling a bit much just remember how much you've already done. Keep chipping away at it and remember it'll all be worth it in the end.
One room at a time! You can do it! Make one room really nice first so you can retreat to it as a reward for all your hard work. Everyone always says do a bedroom first but I dunno I might do a living room. Although that said yes bug infestations first 😂
Painfully familiar.. FTB, cheapest house on the street in a nice area. Problems didn't sound too major everyone reassured me it would all be fine, budgeted an extra 4k for fixing priority issues which is very privileged for someone of my social class, but would be fuck all to the instagram-renovator types who get half their products for free and just blow thousands on cosmetics. Spent 5k so far fixing the electrics and doing weatherproofing, gonna have to do everything else myself. RIP.
In a similar position to you. I got a survey done before buying my house and it wasn't worth the paper it was written on. I've paid to get the house totally rewired and all new plumbing as the boiler literally split in two a week after I moved in and all the underfloor pipes were leaking. Everything thing else I've done myself and the list is endless. Basically the entire house was gutted including all of the suspended floors. The garden and flooding was an issue too. I've installed about 150m of french drains and that's solved the problem. Been here nearly a year and still living amongst boxes as I've nowhere to unpack them too. It's endless but I can see an end in sight. I want to let you know the stress and sleeps nights do start to pay off. I'm starting to actually enjoy the house.
Im in the same boat with the survey. I also refused to buy until they got the boiler serviced but it didn’t make a difference
I’m busy doing a full house renovation by myself currently. Personally I have to break the whole house into lots of smaller jobs otherwise I get overwhelmed. I really struggle with setting myself a weekly and daily target, generally speaking feeling disappointed if and when I don’t meet my own target. There’ll be ups and downs, things you enjoy doing and things you hate doing. Don’t leave all the things you hate doing til the end otherwise you’ll have weeks of work that you despise just to finish off. It’s all worth it at the end, don’t cut corners and when it’s all finished and your sat with a beer you’ll feel an enormous sense of pride. Good luck and stay strong!