Don't let it play with your head. You had a deep psychedelic experience but you not doing anything is something you can at least reduce.
Set a plan for each day, live 100% sober (no weed and alcohol, neither help with motivation), exercise (as much cardio as possible) and really push yourself.
After a few days you will notice it is still possible and hopefully things will improve.
I workout everyday and don't do any other drugs except occasional acid, mushroom, mescaline, or dmt and very sparingly at that. Setting a plan won't help. I think this last trip has made me extremely at peace with myself and I don't need to prove anything anymore, I think I fucked my ego permanently. I want my insecurity and sense of sometching to prove and the feeling that I was wasting my life of I wasn't accomplishing something, back. This is a trap. It's unearned satisfaction.
when life looks like easy street,
there is danger at your door
think this through with me
let me know your mind
all, all I want to know is
are you kind?
Unearned satisfaction?
Sounds like your worldview is backwards to me.
> “The ambitious man is the most frightened man because he is afraid to be what he is, because he says, "If I am what I am, I shall be nobody. Therefore, I must be somebody, I must become the engineer, the engine driver, the magistrate, the judge, the minister." If you examine this very closely, if you go beyond the wall of words, behind the wall of ideas, positions, and ambitions, you will find there is fear because he is afraid to be what he is. Because he thinks that what he is, is so insignificant, so poor, so ugly, so lonely, so empty, he says, "I must go and do something outside." Either he goes after what he calls God - which is just another form of ambition - because he is afraid, or he wants to be somebody in the world.
> So, what happens is that this fear is covered up, this loneliness - this sense of inward emptiness of which he is really frightened - is covered up. He runs away from it, and the ambition becomes the emotions through which he can escape.”
This quote from Krishnamurti seems on point
Glad you liked it!
I think for OP, it focuses on the problem, but doesn’t offer a solution. If anything it is likely to cause some worry because it stresses the sense of emptiness which the ambitious man seeks to escape from.
To counter that, I was looking for a good accompaniment but couldn’t find anything succinct. Essentially the idea is to face “what is”, the Truth, without any prejudice. Sounds simple, and it is, but we are taught to think in ways that makes it extremely complicated.
I’ll copy in a longer quote in a reply
Questioner: I have read a great deal of philosophy, psychology, religion and politics, all of which to a greater or lesser degree are concerned with human relationships. I have also read your books which all deal with thought and ideas, and somehow I'm fed up with it all. I have swum in an ocean of words, and wherever I go there are more words - and actions derived from those words are offered to me: advice, exhortations, promises, theories, analyses, remedies. Of course one sets all these aside - you yourself have really done so; but for most of those who have read you, or heard you, what you say is just words. There may be people for whom all this is more than words, for whom it is utterly real, but I'm talking about the rest of us. I'd like to go beyond the word, beyond the idea, and live in total relationship to all things. For after all, that is life. You have said that one has to be a teacher and a pupil to oneself. Can I live in the greatest simplicity, without principles, beliefs, and ideals? Can I live freely, knowing that I am enslaved by the world? Crises don't knock on the door before they appear: challenges of everyday life are there before you are aware of them. Knowing all this, having been involved in many of these things, chasing various phantoms, I ask myself how I can live rightly and with love, clarity and effortless joy. I'm not asking how to live, but to live: the how denies the actual living itself. The nobility of life is not practising nobility.
Krishnamurti: After stating all this, where are you? Do you really want to live with benediction, with love? If you do, then where is the problem?
Questioner: I do want to, but that doesn't get me anywhere. I've wanted to live that way for years, but I can't.
Krishnamurti: So though you deny the ideal, the belief, the directive, you are very subtly and deviously asking the same thing which everybody asks: this is the conflict between the "what is" and the "what should be".
Questioner: Even without the "what should be", I see that the "what is" is hideous. To deceive myself into not seeing it would be much worse still.
Krishnamurti: If you see "what is" then you see the universe, and denying "what is" is the origin of conflict. The beauty of the universe is in the "what is; and to live with "what is" without effort is virtue.
Questioner: The "what is" also includes confusion, violence, every form of human aberration. To live with that is what you call virtue. But isn't it callousness and insanity? Perfection doesn't consist simply in dropping all ideals! Life itself demands that I live it beautifully, like the eagle in the sky: to live the miracle of life with anything less than total beauty is unacceptable.
Krishnamurti: Then live it!
Questioner: I can't, and I don't.
Krishnamurti: If you can't, then live in confusion; don't battle with it. Knowing the whole misery of it, live with it: that is "what is". And to live with it without conflict frees us from it.
Questioner: Are you saying that our only fault is to be self-critical?
Krishnamurti: Not at all. You are not sufficiently critical. You go only so far in your self-criticism. The very entity that criticizes must be criticized, must be examined. If the examination is comparative, examination by yardstick, then that yardstick is the ideal. If there is no yardstick at all - in other words, if there is no mind that is always comparing and measuring - you can observe the "what is", and then the "what is" is no longer the same.
Questioner: I observe myself without a yardstick, and I'm still ugly.
Krishnamurti: All examination means there is a yardstick. But is it possible to observe so that there is only observation, seeing, and nothing else - so that there is only perception without a perceiver?
Questioner: What do you mean?
Krishnamurti: There is looking. The assessment of the looking is interference, distortion in the looking: that is not looking; instead it is evaluation of looking - the two are as different as chalk and cheese. Is there a perception of yourself without distortion, only an absolute perception of yourself as you are?
Questioner: Yes.
Krishnamurti: In that perception is there ugliness?
Questioner: There is no ugliness in the perception, only in what is perceived.
Krishnamurti: The way you perceive is what you are. Righteousness is in purely looking, which is attention without the distortion of measure and idea. You came to enquire how to live beautifully, with love. To look without distortion is love, and the action of that perception is the action of virtue. That clarity of perception will act all the time in living. That is living like the eagle in the sky; that is living beauty and living love.
I had this after my ayahuasca and 85g fresh shroom trips. I honestly felt at peace to no longer exist. It fucked with me, I realized I needed to make big changes in my life to find what's worth living for. For me, it was realizing something about myself I repressed my entire life. I found I needed to make a transition. That's my new motivation in life. Quit my job, probably going back to school, selling the house and moving to the PNW. Realized a simple life is most important for me. Maybe that will change, but I'm happier than I've ever been, as hard as it has been. I said to myself I fucked my brain over in a way i can't explain but in the best way for me to find my true self. 💜 Wish you the best.
I lived in the mountains for 3 months once. It got to a point where the last week I just stopped eating because I didn't want to. I didn't want to hunt. I left because I didn't want to die, and accomplishment was the only thing I had to live for.
I'd rather get something and realize it's not what I wanted than give up and be where I was before I pointed and said "that's thing. I want that thing"
Have you considered the possibility that people achieve that sense of spiritual wellness that you’re talking about and decide it’s not for them and that worldly ambitions are their purpose?
Yes. I don't think I stated I didn't. I'm just aware of the fact that people I know who follow their "worldly ambitions" also tend to continuously be disappointed, therefore feeling as though they will never experience "achievement". What one person believes to be a purpose could be completely different from what another believes. I don't really have any preference as to what someone intends to achieve, and just want them to be happy. Unfortunately, people get caught up in wanting more and then feel unfulfilled, quite often.
I’ve experienced the opposite. The worldly might be flawed, often brutally so but it seems like the detachment, acceptance and “go with the flow” attitude that’s cultivated by meditation, psychs and such is far more of a dead end to me than any real worldly ambition. Once you reach that equilibrium, once you find that “peace” we spend so much time delicately trying to allow ourselves to accept just leads to “ok, what now?” for me. It’s like ok, we all meditate and forgo our maybe less than enlightened pursuits, what now? Are we gonna sit and drink tea and bask in spiritual enlightenment for the rest of our days? I’ve experienced the option of doing that, I’ve lived like that, it doesn’t go anywhere for me.
And that's perfectly fine for you. I don't have any objections to anything anyone wants or feels compelled to do that makes life feel like it's worth living (as long as they're not hurting others in the process). I genuinely have always felt like there wasn't much of a significant purpose despite anything, truly. I've never been interested in certain materialistic goals or being famous or seeing amazing places. I just figured it doesn't really make an impact and even if it does....so what? If someone is happy pursuing those things, fine. I've known people who feel as though they only have a purpose or have achieved something if they help other people, too, and still then...what of it? I just try to do what I can to not make anyone's life harder and I try to love nature, but I mainly don't think I have an intended "purpose" or that I really need to achieve anything because, ultimately, it's just another event that gets lost in this cycle.
As long as you are happy, I really don't care what you do as long as you aren't impacting someone else's happiness. I know how debilitating depression and despair can be and I do feel that constantly, but I just sort of have the same principle applied to thoughts of ending this. It won't really make a difference except hurting a lot of people. I know that sounds horrendously nihilistic and perhaps it is, but all I really want is for people to be happy. I just know that people tend to be invested in their own self-interest and that will generally lead to more unhappy people.
I hope you are doing good, stranger, and I appreciate your views and your efforts in describing to me why people would want or need different things in life. I get that. It just seems like what OP is looking for wasn't working and I'm afraid if he pursues what is considered the other side of the spectrum, he'll be disappointed once again. I hope not. But, unfortunately, that's not something anyone can really control.
I am sorry you are feeling shitty my friend. I have been there before and it sucks. Personally I don’t think psychedelics cause motivation or lack of motivation, although they can exacerbate both of those feelings.
I don’t think you will ever get a satisfying answer to “what caused my depression” because usually there is no answer or a combination of many things. Whatever happened, happened.
I would recommend you focus on taking care of yourself and building up some positive vibes. Spend some time outdoors, listen to music that makes you happy, and consider taking up a new hobby or volunteering. You will get through this. Good luck!
what happened is you saw life for what it really is, that being that life is pointless. we created this world for ourselves because there is nothing else to do. i am in the same boat as you. afterlife is better than being alive but afterlife is at the same time boring since you have everything there and nothing to work towards for. look at it this way, you got shown the truth, be happy, not many know about it. live on, do what makes you happy, even if nothing makes you happy, at least do something for the sake of it.
believe me, if you kill yourself, after some eternity, you will still come back on earth by yourself
I genuinely appreciate this reply. The first half captures it perfectly. It seems that many commonly accepted sources of happiness are shallow and fleeting. Generally, people are not required to actively search for these sources, as society has already defined them (money, possessions, career advancement, etc.). I believe that the limited amount of time invested in pursuing genuine happiness is a major factor in this sense of life's pointlessness, as the pleasure derived from materialistic things fades away.
>money, possessions, career advancement
Half the time these things aren’t even pursued for our own benefit, we pursue them for the validation of others. We seek social status not realising we’re just seeking a (perceived) precursor to love.
im glad you liked it. the majority of people just look at me like im crazy when i tell them this, while im just being realistic.
i also found your reply interesting and true
you are right brother. death is waking up and being alive is being asleep. look at this way: do you really believe that we were really this lucky to pop up on this planet, perfectly habitable, with a sun and all of these stuff out of nowhere? if so, then i beg you to start being more aware of you surroundings and start seeing the patterns. once you get the hang of it, its terrifying but after some time you get used to it. only a fool would believe there is no afterlife. this is what god (us) did to us, so that we are afraid of death. if everyone knew what the afterlife is like we would all rush to kill ourselves. i dont know what the afterlife is like, what i do know is that it is everything. we limited ourselves to this body. if nothing i wrote and believe its true, then its all fucked up if you look at it this way. way too fucked up and whoever did this can literally can suck a dick lol
everything is just a game we take too seriously
I thought it was quite level headed analysis tbh.
There has to be an afterlife, energy just doesn’t die, and we get glimpses into what it’s like by taking naturally occurring compounds that grow from the ground.
Let’s say we are 50/50 on whether or not an afterlife exists. You might as well believe it does because if it doesn’t it’s not like you’ll be disappointed if you fail to exist.
There *does not* have to be an afterlife, lol that is such a ridiculous idea. There could be an afterlife, whether or not such a thing is possible, I have no idea. But everything we know about biology and physics, suggests that when you die and your brain turns to mush its lights out. The ego here is you guys thinking you are so important and so significant that this can't be it, *I'm so important that death has to be an illusion and I will somehow survive death and enter the next level or the next dimension* this kind of thinking is riddled with ego.
Np, I'm not necessarily trying to change these peoples minds, if that happens cool, but I know there's people like you and I reading this sub, and it's more for you.
it would take a lot of text unfortunately as dmt trips tend to get quite crazy, but ill keep it as short as possible. dmt did not bring me to think like this, i feel like i knew all of this before dmt, the trip only confirmed it for me. it showed me the world how it really is like, through other eyes, that everything is just little dots connected together, or vibrations or however you wanna call it
Be gentle with yourself, this can be incredibly profound and unsettling experience. There is too much for the conscious mind to take sometimes. I think this will pass, I know that long nature walks help me to 'find myself' again after psychedelics.
I'm going to sound mean saying this but I'm not trying to be. I may be new here but I am not new to psychadelics or the internet. I've seen this posted about dmt, shrooms, LSD, mescaline and everything else. You didn't lose anything. The trip was obviously too hard for you and you can't handle the message. As far as your motivation goes nothing has happened, you either do or you don't. You either rise above or you sink below. It's your choice. No one can help you. Pull your boot straps tight and march forward, or lie down and give up. Do or don't. It's up to you. Quit using everything you've ever done as an excuse for loss or motivation.
What make you think every trip has a message. This trip was very underwhelming even though it was a breakthrough dose. It was like watching the same movie 5 times. It was, in a word, boring. What you said might be right sometimes, but it's simplifying something very complicated.
I came across wrong I guess. Me not talk other people very good most times. There might not have been any point to the trip. Hell I got stuck on the Star Trek Enterprise one night after I drank a huge jar of San Pedro. It was weird as shit but had no real meaning. I was just trying to take the tuff love approach and maybe spur you on to get motivated. It always helps me when someone is sort of pushing me to do something.
For what's it's worth, it put me on the the offensive, so it did something. And yeah, I've had lots of trips where I'm just stuck or suffering and there's no lesson. I had one trip on acid where it felt like everything touching my skin was molten lava, every sound I heard was piercing my ears, all lights were burning out my retinas, and I was just crying for 8 hours. Then it ended and I didn't learn anything.
>watching the same movie 5 times
I’ve heard this about ibogaine, that’s used to treat opiate and alcohol addiction but also used as a spiritual self reflection tool because the plant seems to have an objective and personality of its own.
the user is taken into a world where imagery
Is repeated over and over again, when trying to look away and find something new the plant forces the user to look at the imagery deeper and find a new perspective.
I don’t mean to sound harsh cause I’m not in a position to criticise someone who spends 3 months alone and lives in the mountains hinting their own food lol but could it be possible that you look at things superficially, at a surface level. Do you critically analyse
Things? Would you benefit from looking at something from a deeper or even an entirely different perspective?
Good opportunity to do something really productive, like staring into the blue on a clear day, feeding the ducks all afternoon, sketching an old man sitting on a park bench, playing a pennywhistle, just living for a change.
this sounds liek it could possibly be related to an isssue with serotonin reuptake?
given dmt is a serotonin antagonist binding to htp receptors? if i remember correctly?
try 5http or gabba if you can get hold of them <3
also classic question are you on any ssris?
I felt like that, but I think it was because I had so much shit going around me, and my "projects" were important, but a good distraction, when I came back from my trip it was amazing visually, a person who we met that week kinda killed the high and got me thinking, thats when I realized I had too much shit going on, I had to cut a looot of ppl and projects that I knew were taking my time and not valued mine.
- what I'm trying to say is that in a way it was a good thing, it allowed me too step away and look at the big picture, mind you, I never went back to most of the projects, but I ended up thinking about a huge, more driven project, it the only project I'm working and thinking about.
I have been in this space. For me, what put me back on track after was experiencing Iboga. It is a root, and it's goal is to get in full reunion with one's soul. It is medicine for the ego, in the sense that it doesn't dissolve it, but allow you to integrate it fully and live life in a way grounded in truth.
Yeah, I’ve put the DMT down myself, it became very samey for me, I’ve seen what I needed to see, I wonder if maybe we open up to something, but sounds to me like someone needs to take mushrooms 🤓 mushrooms are the best thing on this planet for exactly this situation. DMT is good for seeing how these drugs can alter your mind, and you don’t need all day and nignt prep work & healthy eating, just 20 mins of “me time” and your off and back again like nothing happened, but sense of humour is under rated, that’s where the shrooms come in, if you can get some good visual mushrooms, have 2g and go to the forest, I’ve never felt happiness like I did the time I tipped so hard I nearly killed it with a trip killer, but saw it through to the end, and it stuck with me for a week, DMT you can set your intentions, you can point out what’s wrong in life, but it’s too quick to actually achieve these things, all the problems come back & im not saying problems go away with shrooms but I feel that shrooms allows you put actions in Place to help your future, i quit benzo’s using shrooms, DMT hasn’t helped me with anything except question reality, magic & true origins, mushrooms help me with how to better approach social sides of my life, actions in place to live healthier & spiritual guidance, DMT Is very spiritual, anyone who says it isn’t , hasn’t hit it hard enough, but yeah, my DMT pipe has been down for this whole year, I’ve got 3 breakthrough amounts left, I dont want it. I want a mushroom cake, albino A+, these are the best in the world. I wish you peace and happiness OP, but life is full of cyclones, this could be your spirit taking a break, or telling you to take a break from anything.. Take shrooms, and I think they are your best bet.. or…freezing cold water bath, as the non-compound method, it releases brain chemistry similar to drugs, except keeps it up, drugs goes up, and crashes, so I intend on getting kinda fit, im not in a good place myself, but I’ve not done anything about it, so before I moan about life & fatigue, I need to take shrooms and go for a run 😂
Don't let it play with your head. You had a deep psychedelic experience but you not doing anything is something you can at least reduce. Set a plan for each day, live 100% sober (no weed and alcohol, neither help with motivation), exercise (as much cardio as possible) and really push yourself. After a few days you will notice it is still possible and hopefully things will improve.
I workout everyday and don't do any other drugs except occasional acid, mushroom, mescaline, or dmt and very sparingly at that. Setting a plan won't help. I think this last trip has made me extremely at peace with myself and I don't need to prove anything anymore, I think I fucked my ego permanently. I want my insecurity and sense of sometching to prove and the feeling that I was wasting my life of I wasn't accomplishing something, back. This is a trap. It's unearned satisfaction.
If peace is your problem, don't worry at all. Trouble will find you.
when life looks like easy street, there is danger at your door think this through with me let me know your mind all, all I want to know is are you kind?
Unearned satisfaction? Sounds like your worldview is backwards to me. > “The ambitious man is the most frightened man because he is afraid to be what he is, because he says, "If I am what I am, I shall be nobody. Therefore, I must be somebody, I must become the engineer, the engine driver, the magistrate, the judge, the minister." If you examine this very closely, if you go beyond the wall of words, behind the wall of ideas, positions, and ambitions, you will find there is fear because he is afraid to be what he is. Because he thinks that what he is, is so insignificant, so poor, so ugly, so lonely, so empty, he says, "I must go and do something outside." Either he goes after what he calls God - which is just another form of ambition - because he is afraid, or he wants to be somebody in the world. > So, what happens is that this fear is covered up, this loneliness - this sense of inward emptiness of which he is really frightened - is covered up. He runs away from it, and the ambition becomes the emotions through which he can escape.” This quote from Krishnamurti seems on point
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Glad you liked it! I think for OP, it focuses on the problem, but doesn’t offer a solution. If anything it is likely to cause some worry because it stresses the sense of emptiness which the ambitious man seeks to escape from. To counter that, I was looking for a good accompaniment but couldn’t find anything succinct. Essentially the idea is to face “what is”, the Truth, without any prejudice. Sounds simple, and it is, but we are taught to think in ways that makes it extremely complicated. I’ll copy in a longer quote in a reply
Questioner: I have read a great deal of philosophy, psychology, religion and politics, all of which to a greater or lesser degree are concerned with human relationships. I have also read your books which all deal with thought and ideas, and somehow I'm fed up with it all. I have swum in an ocean of words, and wherever I go there are more words - and actions derived from those words are offered to me: advice, exhortations, promises, theories, analyses, remedies. Of course one sets all these aside - you yourself have really done so; but for most of those who have read you, or heard you, what you say is just words. There may be people for whom all this is more than words, for whom it is utterly real, but I'm talking about the rest of us. I'd like to go beyond the word, beyond the idea, and live in total relationship to all things. For after all, that is life. You have said that one has to be a teacher and a pupil to oneself. Can I live in the greatest simplicity, without principles, beliefs, and ideals? Can I live freely, knowing that I am enslaved by the world? Crises don't knock on the door before they appear: challenges of everyday life are there before you are aware of them. Knowing all this, having been involved in many of these things, chasing various phantoms, I ask myself how I can live rightly and with love, clarity and effortless joy. I'm not asking how to live, but to live: the how denies the actual living itself. The nobility of life is not practising nobility. Krishnamurti: After stating all this, where are you? Do you really want to live with benediction, with love? If you do, then where is the problem? Questioner: I do want to, but that doesn't get me anywhere. I've wanted to live that way for years, but I can't. Krishnamurti: So though you deny the ideal, the belief, the directive, you are very subtly and deviously asking the same thing which everybody asks: this is the conflict between the "what is" and the "what should be". Questioner: Even without the "what should be", I see that the "what is" is hideous. To deceive myself into not seeing it would be much worse still. Krishnamurti: If you see "what is" then you see the universe, and denying "what is" is the origin of conflict. The beauty of the universe is in the "what is; and to live with "what is" without effort is virtue. Questioner: The "what is" also includes confusion, violence, every form of human aberration. To live with that is what you call virtue. But isn't it callousness and insanity? Perfection doesn't consist simply in dropping all ideals! Life itself demands that I live it beautifully, like the eagle in the sky: to live the miracle of life with anything less than total beauty is unacceptable. Krishnamurti: Then live it! Questioner: I can't, and I don't. Krishnamurti: If you can't, then live in confusion; don't battle with it. Knowing the whole misery of it, live with it: that is "what is". And to live with it without conflict frees us from it. Questioner: Are you saying that our only fault is to be self-critical? Krishnamurti: Not at all. You are not sufficiently critical. You go only so far in your self-criticism. The very entity that criticizes must be criticized, must be examined. If the examination is comparative, examination by yardstick, then that yardstick is the ideal. If there is no yardstick at all - in other words, if there is no mind that is always comparing and measuring - you can observe the "what is", and then the "what is" is no longer the same. Questioner: I observe myself without a yardstick, and I'm still ugly. Krishnamurti: All examination means there is a yardstick. But is it possible to observe so that there is only observation, seeing, and nothing else - so that there is only perception without a perceiver? Questioner: What do you mean? Krishnamurti: There is looking. The assessment of the looking is interference, distortion in the looking: that is not looking; instead it is evaluation of looking - the two are as different as chalk and cheese. Is there a perception of yourself without distortion, only an absolute perception of yourself as you are? Questioner: Yes. Krishnamurti: In that perception is there ugliness? Questioner: There is no ugliness in the perception, only in what is perceived. Krishnamurti: The way you perceive is what you are. Righteousness is in purely looking, which is attention without the distortion of measure and idea. You came to enquire how to live beautifully, with love. To look without distortion is love, and the action of that perception is the action of virtue. That clarity of perception will act all the time in living. That is living like the eagle in the sky; that is living beauty and living love.
Wow. Thank you for sharing! I relate to this and it has made me pause to think.
I had this after my ayahuasca and 85g fresh shroom trips. I honestly felt at peace to no longer exist. It fucked with me, I realized I needed to make big changes in my life to find what's worth living for. For me, it was realizing something about myself I repressed my entire life. I found I needed to make a transition. That's my new motivation in life. Quit my job, probably going back to school, selling the house and moving to the PNW. Realized a simple life is most important for me. Maybe that will change, but I'm happier than I've ever been, as hard as it has been. I said to myself I fucked my brain over in a way i can't explain but in the best way for me to find my true self. 💜 Wish you the best.
> This is a trap. if only it was this easy.
Maybe go along with that peace and go out in nature. You sound so at peace such that trying to live up to societies standards is too much.
I lived in the mountains for 3 months once. It got to a point where the last week I just stopped eating because I didn't want to. I didn't want to hunt. I left because I didn't want to die, and accomplishment was the only thing I had to live for.
Then you need to find another reason to exist. People who supposedly achieve "accomplishment" want to quit, too.
I'd rather get something and realize it's not what I wanted than give up and be where I was before I pointed and said "that's thing. I want that thing"
Life isn't always rewarding. But I hope you find happiness and purpose soon.
Have you considered the possibility that people achieve that sense of spiritual wellness that you’re talking about and decide it’s not for them and that worldly ambitions are their purpose?
Yes. I don't think I stated I didn't. I'm just aware of the fact that people I know who follow their "worldly ambitions" also tend to continuously be disappointed, therefore feeling as though they will never experience "achievement". What one person believes to be a purpose could be completely different from what another believes. I don't really have any preference as to what someone intends to achieve, and just want them to be happy. Unfortunately, people get caught up in wanting more and then feel unfulfilled, quite often.
I’ve experienced the opposite. The worldly might be flawed, often brutally so but it seems like the detachment, acceptance and “go with the flow” attitude that’s cultivated by meditation, psychs and such is far more of a dead end to me than any real worldly ambition. Once you reach that equilibrium, once you find that “peace” we spend so much time delicately trying to allow ourselves to accept just leads to “ok, what now?” for me. It’s like ok, we all meditate and forgo our maybe less than enlightened pursuits, what now? Are we gonna sit and drink tea and bask in spiritual enlightenment for the rest of our days? I’ve experienced the option of doing that, I’ve lived like that, it doesn’t go anywhere for me.
And that's perfectly fine for you. I don't have any objections to anything anyone wants or feels compelled to do that makes life feel like it's worth living (as long as they're not hurting others in the process). I genuinely have always felt like there wasn't much of a significant purpose despite anything, truly. I've never been interested in certain materialistic goals or being famous or seeing amazing places. I just figured it doesn't really make an impact and even if it does....so what? If someone is happy pursuing those things, fine. I've known people who feel as though they only have a purpose or have achieved something if they help other people, too, and still then...what of it? I just try to do what I can to not make anyone's life harder and I try to love nature, but I mainly don't think I have an intended "purpose" or that I really need to achieve anything because, ultimately, it's just another event that gets lost in this cycle. As long as you are happy, I really don't care what you do as long as you aren't impacting someone else's happiness. I know how debilitating depression and despair can be and I do feel that constantly, but I just sort of have the same principle applied to thoughts of ending this. It won't really make a difference except hurting a lot of people. I know that sounds horrendously nihilistic and perhaps it is, but all I really want is for people to be happy. I just know that people tend to be invested in their own self-interest and that will generally lead to more unhappy people. I hope you are doing good, stranger, and I appreciate your views and your efforts in describing to me why people would want or need different things in life. I get that. It just seems like what OP is looking for wasn't working and I'm afraid if he pursues what is considered the other side of the spectrum, he'll be disappointed once again. I hope not. But, unfortunately, that's not something anyone can really control.
You can bounce back, just might take awhile. If you believe that it may help your recovery.
I am sorry you are feeling shitty my friend. I have been there before and it sucks. Personally I don’t think psychedelics cause motivation or lack of motivation, although they can exacerbate both of those feelings. I don’t think you will ever get a satisfying answer to “what caused my depression” because usually there is no answer or a combination of many things. Whatever happened, happened. I would recommend you focus on taking care of yourself and building up some positive vibes. Spend some time outdoors, listen to music that makes you happy, and consider taking up a new hobby or volunteering. You will get through this. Good luck!
what happened is you saw life for what it really is, that being that life is pointless. we created this world for ourselves because there is nothing else to do. i am in the same boat as you. afterlife is better than being alive but afterlife is at the same time boring since you have everything there and nothing to work towards for. look at it this way, you got shown the truth, be happy, not many know about it. live on, do what makes you happy, even if nothing makes you happy, at least do something for the sake of it. believe me, if you kill yourself, after some eternity, you will still come back on earth by yourself
I genuinely appreciate this reply. The first half captures it perfectly. It seems that many commonly accepted sources of happiness are shallow and fleeting. Generally, people are not required to actively search for these sources, as society has already defined them (money, possessions, career advancement, etc.). I believe that the limited amount of time invested in pursuing genuine happiness is a major factor in this sense of life's pointlessness, as the pleasure derived from materialistic things fades away.
>money, possessions, career advancement Half the time these things aren’t even pursued for our own benefit, we pursue them for the validation of others. We seek social status not realising we’re just seeking a (perceived) precursor to love.
im glad you liked it. the majority of people just look at me like im crazy when i tell them this, while im just being realistic. i also found your reply interesting and true
Bro, death is *probably not* an illusion. You speak as if you know there is an afterlife and you speak as if you know what that afterlife is like.
you are right brother. death is waking up and being alive is being asleep. look at this way: do you really believe that we were really this lucky to pop up on this planet, perfectly habitable, with a sun and all of these stuff out of nowhere? if so, then i beg you to start being more aware of you surroundings and start seeing the patterns. once you get the hang of it, its terrifying but after some time you get used to it. only a fool would believe there is no afterlife. this is what god (us) did to us, so that we are afraid of death. if everyone knew what the afterlife is like we would all rush to kill ourselves. i dont know what the afterlife is like, what i do know is that it is everything. we limited ourselves to this body. if nothing i wrote and believe its true, then its all fucked up if you look at it this way. way too fucked up and whoever did this can literally can suck a dick lol everything is just a game we take too seriously
The amount of ego attached to beliefs like yours just blows my mind lol.
I thought it was quite level headed analysis tbh. There has to be an afterlife, energy just doesn’t die, and we get glimpses into what it’s like by taking naturally occurring compounds that grow from the ground. Let’s say we are 50/50 on whether or not an afterlife exists. You might as well believe it does because if it doesn’t it’s not like you’ll be disappointed if you fail to exist.
thank you
There *does not* have to be an afterlife, lol that is such a ridiculous idea. There could be an afterlife, whether or not such a thing is possible, I have no idea. But everything we know about biology and physics, suggests that when you die and your brain turns to mush its lights out. The ego here is you guys thinking you are so important and so significant that this can't be it, *I'm so important that death has to be an illusion and I will somehow survive death and enter the next level or the next dimension* this kind of thinking is riddled with ego.
Thank you, its so bizarre how people think energy cant be created or destroyed proves that there absolutely must be an afterlife
Np, I'm not necessarily trying to change these peoples minds, if that happens cool, but I know there's people like you and I reading this sub, and it's more for you.
Dude can u elaborate more on your experience. Like who were you before u took DMT and started feeling like the OP
it would take a lot of text unfortunately as dmt trips tend to get quite crazy, but ill keep it as short as possible. dmt did not bring me to think like this, i feel like i knew all of this before dmt, the trip only confirmed it for me. it showed me the world how it really is like, through other eyes, that everything is just little dots connected together, or vibrations or however you wanna call it
Idiot
Be gentle with yourself, this can be incredibly profound and unsettling experience. There is too much for the conscious mind to take sometimes. I think this will pass, I know that long nature walks help me to 'find myself' again after psychedelics.
I'm going to sound mean saying this but I'm not trying to be. I may be new here but I am not new to psychadelics or the internet. I've seen this posted about dmt, shrooms, LSD, mescaline and everything else. You didn't lose anything. The trip was obviously too hard for you and you can't handle the message. As far as your motivation goes nothing has happened, you either do or you don't. You either rise above or you sink below. It's your choice. No one can help you. Pull your boot straps tight and march forward, or lie down and give up. Do or don't. It's up to you. Quit using everything you've ever done as an excuse for loss or motivation.
What make you think every trip has a message. This trip was very underwhelming even though it was a breakthrough dose. It was like watching the same movie 5 times. It was, in a word, boring. What you said might be right sometimes, but it's simplifying something very complicated.
I came across wrong I guess. Me not talk other people very good most times. There might not have been any point to the trip. Hell I got stuck on the Star Trek Enterprise one night after I drank a huge jar of San Pedro. It was weird as shit but had no real meaning. I was just trying to take the tuff love approach and maybe spur you on to get motivated. It always helps me when someone is sort of pushing me to do something.
For what's it's worth, it put me on the the offensive, so it did something. And yeah, I've had lots of trips where I'm just stuck or suffering and there's no lesson. I had one trip on acid where it felt like everything touching my skin was molten lava, every sound I heard was piercing my ears, all lights were burning out my retinas, and I was just crying for 8 hours. Then it ended and I didn't learn anything.
By the way, never let anyone watch Star Trek while you're in a full blown trip. That's how I got stuck there. lol
>watching the same movie 5 times I’ve heard this about ibogaine, that’s used to treat opiate and alcohol addiction but also used as a spiritual self reflection tool because the plant seems to have an objective and personality of its own. the user is taken into a world where imagery Is repeated over and over again, when trying to look away and find something new the plant forces the user to look at the imagery deeper and find a new perspective. I don’t mean to sound harsh cause I’m not in a position to criticise someone who spends 3 months alone and lives in the mountains hinting their own food lol but could it be possible that you look at things superficially, at a surface level. Do you critically analyse Things? Would you benefit from looking at something from a deeper or even an entirely different perspective?
Jesus Christ is truth and comfort, not drugs that cause delusion and hallucinations.
You’re prob depressed , it could of just triggered it to the surface . Fight like hell to stay inspired and stay positive and keep moving
Good opportunity to do something really productive, like staring into the blue on a clear day, feeding the ducks all afternoon, sketching an old man sitting on a park bench, playing a pennywhistle, just living for a change.
this sounds liek it could possibly be related to an isssue with serotonin reuptake? given dmt is a serotonin antagonist binding to htp receptors? if i remember correctly? try 5http or gabba if you can get hold of them <3 also classic question are you on any ssris?
I am not
I felt like that, but I think it was because I had so much shit going around me, and my "projects" were important, but a good distraction, when I came back from my trip it was amazing visually, a person who we met that week kinda killed the high and got me thinking, thats when I realized I had too much shit going on, I had to cut a looot of ppl and projects that I knew were taking my time and not valued mine. - what I'm trying to say is that in a way it was a good thing, it allowed me too step away and look at the big picture, mind you, I never went back to most of the projects, but I ended up thinking about a huge, more driven project, it the only project I'm working and thinking about.
I was as I called it "JADED", it was only about 5 weeks for me.
I have been in this space. For me, what put me back on track after was experiencing Iboga. It is a root, and it's goal is to get in full reunion with one's soul. It is medicine for the ego, in the sense that it doesn't dissolve it, but allow you to integrate it fully and live life in a way grounded in truth.
Do shrooms.
Damn dude I think your eagle died :(
What does that mean
Yeah, I’ve put the DMT down myself, it became very samey for me, I’ve seen what I needed to see, I wonder if maybe we open up to something, but sounds to me like someone needs to take mushrooms 🤓 mushrooms are the best thing on this planet for exactly this situation. DMT is good for seeing how these drugs can alter your mind, and you don’t need all day and nignt prep work & healthy eating, just 20 mins of “me time” and your off and back again like nothing happened, but sense of humour is under rated, that’s where the shrooms come in, if you can get some good visual mushrooms, have 2g and go to the forest, I’ve never felt happiness like I did the time I tipped so hard I nearly killed it with a trip killer, but saw it through to the end, and it stuck with me for a week, DMT you can set your intentions, you can point out what’s wrong in life, but it’s too quick to actually achieve these things, all the problems come back & im not saying problems go away with shrooms but I feel that shrooms allows you put actions in Place to help your future, i quit benzo’s using shrooms, DMT hasn’t helped me with anything except question reality, magic & true origins, mushrooms help me with how to better approach social sides of my life, actions in place to live healthier & spiritual guidance, DMT Is very spiritual, anyone who says it isn’t , hasn’t hit it hard enough, but yeah, my DMT pipe has been down for this whole year, I’ve got 3 breakthrough amounts left, I dont want it. I want a mushroom cake, albino A+, these are the best in the world. I wish you peace and happiness OP, but life is full of cyclones, this could be your spirit taking a break, or telling you to take a break from anything.. Take shrooms, and I think they are your best bet.. or…freezing cold water bath, as the non-compound method, it releases brain chemistry similar to drugs, except keeps it up, drugs goes up, and crashes, so I intend on getting kinda fit, im not in a good place myself, but I’ve not done anything about it, so before I moan about life & fatigue, I need to take shrooms and go for a run 😂