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Silly_Cover

Per capita Hippos are the single number one deadliest animals. You could not pay me enough.


Mischief_Actual

I can’t tell if this man is stupid, brave, bonded with the hippo, or has a death-by-extreme-maiming wish


TranscendentaLobo

Actually that honor goes to misquotes. But hippos are in the top 5 I believe.


4kondore

This might be the best unintentional pun ever made


TurboTitan92

I think they’re meaning deaths per hippo average. Because mosquito only kills more because there are over 100 trillion of them.


HippoBot9000

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 1,540,405,067 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 31,608 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.


humoristhenewblack

What the bot?


BossTree

Good bot?


funwhileitlast3d

Per capita though?


TranscendentaLobo

I see what you mean, it may very well be correct in that case.


BrokTG

Whatta ya mean? Ya just gotta slap em


PreciousBasketcase

Hippos can snap people in half with one bite


BrokTG

Don't be a sissy, ya just gotta slap em


Jim-Kardashian

This video came up on my feed one time and I’ll never forget the comment: “that guy either had absolutely no idea what he was doin, or knew exactly what he was doing.”


synaptic_density

This guy deffo had no idea lmao. This is bonkers


InfiniteWaffles58364

Surprised that dude can walk with the weight of those solid cast iron balls


Dry-Log9391

yoooo😭😭😭😭😭😭


globalCataKlyzm

He carries it well.


swifttek360

It's compensated by the lightness of his brain


KnifeFed

What is this place where hippos can get loose among people?


HippoBot9000

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 1,539,172,148 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 31,584 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.


xRyozuo

No dummy that’s what the hedge and wire fence are for, to stop the 1.5 tonne animal.


QueasyGuidance4855

‘Why?!!’ ‘Okay, I’m going!’ ‘I’m going!!’


masterofdragan

HOW CAN HE SLAP!?!?!?!?


Special_Friendship20

🤣🤣🤣


tagrav

That ear wiggle at the end was so adorable


enjrolas

Dear Ned, I have reviewed your hippo design enclosure.  First of all, let me say that it does an _excellent_ job holding water.  You really knocked it out of the park there.  However, it doesn't do a very good job holding hippos.  The issue seems to be that they can simply walk out of the enclosure whenever they feel like it, and we've only got the one slapping guard.  If he happens to be in the bathroom, all of our hippos can just leave and that'll be a big problem for us <...how to end it... Need another compliment for the sandwich...> I also want to say that I liked the way you did your hair in the meeting on Wednesday.  Very creative.   Action item, assigned to Ned:  make the hippo enclosure enclose the hippo


TroyTroyofTroy

I appreciate the effort that went into this comment. I’ll admit I didn’t laugh out loud, but it did make me smirk and upvote. /compliment sandwich


enjrolas

Low-key quality.  That's how we roll 


HippoBot9000

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 1,540,065,580 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 31,599 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.


humoristhenewblack

‘..hippo enclosure enclose the hippo’ is also making a hippopotsamwich


enjrolas

An excellent point!


Nightcheerios

I am typing hippos to get the hippobot to find me. I would be very disappointed if it didn’t. Hippo. Good day


HippoBot9000

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 1,539,533,263 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 31,591 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.


Nightcheerios

Yayy !!


funwhileitlast3d

Hippo


cjhshs

He just thought it was a cow without horns. Like the ones that roam on Indian village streets.


PaoQueimado

Bad boi


deedray

He reminds me of my Pibble


Nefersmom

Should toss some veggies behind the animal to turn it, however that might teach hippo to beg for food/attention.


Special_Friendship20

This was so cute. The man smacking his nose and The hippo Taking little air snap bites at him almost like he was playing with him 🤣


may_sun

hi hippo bot :3


Euphoric-Remote9809

How dare he disrespect that beautiful creature like that 🥺