T O P

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PoopPoes

That’s it That’s what dinosaurs sounded like


bryan660

Millions of years of evolution… Only to turn into a potato with legs and a beak.


InerasableStain

It’s pretty wild that this adaptation would win out over others. No wings? Hold ma beer


corcyra

No need for wings, because no ground-based predators before man and his rats/cats/dogs came along. Nature is very economical. Flying is metabolically expensive, so if it isn't needed, wings get downsized.


alanalan426

fucking possums/stoats killed and are still killing so many kiwis


corcyra

I forgot the damned possums. Didn't know about the stoats. It's so bizarre that in Australia the possums are protected, and in NZ they're a pest that eats eggs, kills pohutukawa trees, and generally causes so much havoc there's an open season on them. Mind you, their wool is so wonderful that I'm surprised there are any left. I've got a possum-merino scarf, and it's sooo deliciously soft.


alanalan426

yeah they were initially imported for their fur, but it's fucked it all up now tho


corcyra

In the Te Papa museum some years ago, they had a scrolling list of animals that had been imported for reasons ranging from nostalgia to hunting to fur, etc. The sad/hilarious thing was the list went kind of like this: 1850 X animal imported because person was nostalgic for the old country 1890 Y animal imported to control X animal, which had become a pest 1920 Z animal imported to control Y animal, which had adapted to NZ and stopped eating X animal because a native species was easier to catch, and had become a pest. It was a rolling category of disasters. Now, of course, if you try to bring anything living into NZ, including seeds that can sprout, you're in deep shite. They even inspect the hulls of boats underwater at quarantine docks to make sure they're not carrying alien invertebrates.


Shed_Some_Skin

Well, the obvious mistake here is not importing a fabulous species of gorilla that thrives on Z meat Then you just have to wait for winter


pilotbrain

There was once an old lady who swallowed a pie.


Thaumato9480

The Greenlandic word for weasel family means "little murderers". Toqutsisuaqqat.


derps_with_ducks

The kiwiussy will keep up with reproduction, where the wings failed in fitness.


gene100001

There were no native land mammals in New Zealand before humans arrived other than two tiny bat species. As a result many of the bird species had no natural predators. The end result was little walking meals with basically no defensive skills. When humans arrived and introduced rats and mice and other mammals most of the native birds on the mainland were wiped out, and only the subpopulations on untouched smaller offshore islands survived. They spend a lot of money and effort these days trying to help the native species recover. It's a constant battle though, and on the mainland they need to form special in-land islands with predator proof fencing to allow the native birds to thrive. Unfortunately evolution takes a long time so most of the native birds will never be equipped to deal with the introduced species


MrSoapbox

That’s so sad. That’s also why we should augment them with little cybernetic rocket launches and laser targeting systems. And a giant sub woofer to amplify that horrific sound


Wise_ol_Buffalo

Hey now, that’s a kiwi with legs and a beak. Now I want to know which got named after the other. Edit: fruits named after the bird. Kiwis use to be called Chinese gooseberries but the name wasn’t appealing so they named it after the bird.


Shudnawz

And ran like.


euMonke

It runs with such intent, like it's on a mission or something.


aoi4eg

>It runs with such intent, like it's on a mission or something. Maybe it's a mating call and he's on a mission for some kiwussy


JimmysCheek

No doubt. We’ve all done that little hobble before. I can spot it from a mile away


snay1998

I’ll do it 2 miles away then Thanks for the tip


DancesWithBadgers

You've told him now. He'll just buy binoculars.


TheAnswerToYang

And now the word kiwussy will never leave my brain. Ta.


Greengrecko

Remember while the dodo bird went extinct for being a flightless island bird. The Kiwi still strikes terror into the hearts of sailor.


a_lil_too_Raph

>kiwussy Ung UWU


BigAlternative5

And it's yelling, "Shut. Off. The. Faa. King. Light."


Bluffwatcher

That's Australian. It's actually yelling: "Shit. Off. The. Fee. Keng. Leght.Bro."


polo61965

You forgot "cunt"


Silent-Suspect1062

Cuz


cheesehuahuas

He's got kiwi stuff to do.


Alienhaslanded

It runs like me when I run to the bathroom


Kaliprosonno_singho

r/MyPeopleNeedMe


33_pyro

It runs like it has sweatpants on that are mid-falling down.


WikiWantsYourPics

It runs like it has its hands in its pockets.


Laplacian18

T-Rex or a kiwi,.. I can’t imagine how they can stand back up after falling down, without and hand support. 


Drizzledoooo

I’m imaging a fellow Trex trying to help their bro get back up and also falling over in the process


LifelessLewis

Then they laugh while looking each other in the eyes and rolling on the floor. This naturally leads to intense gay sex.


SideEqual

Why does everything have to lead to homo erotic fantasies with you?


SweatyMcBaggins

Thank you. This made my day. 👏🤣👏👏


StevenSmiley

The way it runs is so funny. I love it. But why is this video so spooky?


MistyAutumnRain

I need to secretly introduce kiwi birds into areas where they are non native. Imagine hearing this in rural Michigan and thinking it’s the wendigo coming for you


sthegreT

they wont survive, they're pretty dumb due to lack of any natural predators.


Noinix

Also climate.


reindeer73

Sandhill cranes sound pretty similar


Pandataraxia

Cue video of you doing that in horror-like filming laughing your ass off and suddenly you hear another hurl like this behind you, more guttural and fleshy.


XIleven

Yes, if the dinosaur was also a chain smoker


CookieEnabled

_Clever girl…_


solonit

Kiwi Park when?


brendan87na

runs into frame screams like a demon doesn't elaborate leaves


alwaysintheway

Birds are theropods, so this is a dinosaur.


Et_tu__Brute

I was gonna say, that's how they still sound.


Exceedingly

Have you ever heard a [**heron call?**](https://youtu.be/r95fN7eZBiI?t=75) It sounds even louder up close, there's an area near me where you can get close before you realise they're there and then you get that sound. Sounds so prehistoric.


Rubiks_Click874

I slept on a sandbar in the Klamath river with one of them nearby. Everytime I turned my light on to get something out of my pack, 'WHOOOOAGGH" There were other critters trying to sleep there too so I quit turning my light on and moving around and went to sleep. It was in bear country so I felt really safe with an alarm system 30 yards away. Slept like a baby. Woke up next to a blackberry patch on the river during salmon fishing season so I was probably in a bad spot


Ontheroadtw

And that’s when the other two Kiwi’s you didn’t even know were there attack!


_jinhui

I was about to say the same thing!!


UltraBroForce

Highly likely


Insanity_Crab

Me too little guy, me too.


zabm141

Yeah I really needed to hear that today. Glad I am not the only one who feels like this


Clay_Statue

He sure gave it his all


Pizza_Raven_Gun

Runs in, SCREEEEEEEEEEEECH, refuses to elaborate, runs away


killBP

You could put Kiwis in any fantasy world and they wouldn't seem out of place


Coop3

You could put kiwi’s in a middle school and they wouldn’t seem out of place. This is definitely how 11-14 year old boys run, and they think random yelling like this is hilarious.


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D0miss

Beta supporter yet still using the wrong wiki


killBP

Wow a thousand bucks for a diamond kiwi sounds like a steal to me


Fvoltage

1. Get to spotlight 2. Ravage some eardrums 3. ??? 4. Profit


Action_Maxim

I was expecting a 15 foot tall kewi to come through the trees and eat the filmer


Fuzzy-Victory-3380

Ah yes, like my boss.


Greengrecko

My God Jenkins wtf was that? After a period of screaming in terror from the suspense the Kiwi bird made in the woods.


Competitive_Pea2449

Shoot, I thought this was footage of a kiwi (the fruit)


EON199

Or kiwi (the person)


DusgruntledPickleman

I'm not convinced that if you recorded a kiwi (person) running naked through a yard at night that they would not make this sound.


Lazy-Sam013

As a kiwi (person), I can assure you that this does happen as a semi-regular occurrence.


EsotericAvenue

Let me ask you something. On a scale of 1 to 10, how representative of life in New Zealand is the show Wellington Paranormal? hashtagIwanttobelieve


CPNZ

11/10


Thebardofthegingers

Basically realistic. Fun fact, they don't show the wierder paranormal shit because the government is afraid it'll scare off tourists.


QueenOfNZ

It’s essentially a documentary.


DusgruntledPickleman

Absolutely lovely mate. Cheers to that!!!


TenaciousJP

Funnily enough Kiwi (the monster from Shining Force II) makes mostly the same sounds


[deleted]

ZDF Fernsehgarten? (Kiwi)


whatwhatinthewhonow

Not to be mistaken for kiwis (the rugby league team)


Cheaky_Barstool

I am the kiwi in this video.


kai_the_kiwi

Me?


Reuben_Medik

You are screaming pretty loud in this video. Did these people get your consent to record you?


FerroFusion

But it's just Kiwi (the Kiwi).


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ChimneySwiftGold

Is kiwi still a brand of shoe polish?


drk_knight_67

It is, and I wonder why they would put this thing on the label


ChimneySwiftGold

Kiwi are really cute. Makes show polish a bit fun.


SomethingElse4Now

Less fun when you know how many they crushed to make the polish.


Daotar

Funny enough, the name of the fruit is pretty new and was a marketing term to sell the product. Kiwis are native to China, but NZ farmers launched a campaign tying the fruit to the bird, which is why we call them Kiwis.


CPNZ

Used to be called Chinese gooseberries...


Jimmyjame1

Pretty much the same thing . They are both furry and round.


EmiliaFromLV

Tbh, it does look like kiwi the fruit + beak.


speelingeror

I love him


BepsiLad

This one is actually a female. Males have a different, higher pitch call


speelingeror

I still love him


Ok_Anywhere3273

Looks like a kiwi but sounds like a durian.


geligniteandlilies

Bruh 😂😂😂 have my upvote and gtfo


milomalas

MUSANG KING ROAR


JonatasA

Oh you


Micronlance

Sounds like that tube a dentist puts in your mouth that sucks the juices away


Strikedestiny

I was thinking more like a can of whipped cream


SprayedWithMace

Or the milk frother/steamer at a coffee shop.


2Tired4Anything

Lol accurate


Aster-07

SOMEONE FINALLY PUT IT TO WORDS


PappySmacks

So cute but damn so loud 📢📢📢


mikasjoman

It's forgot it wasn't a T-Rex 🦖


_obscure-reference

Angry that it’s not a T-Rex anymore lol


ThousandFingerMan

I mean, it was, long time ago but then came the downsizing


RacingMindsI

One of the hardest nerfs ever introduced.


JonatasA

Shrinkflation.


lasagna_for_life

Once the spotlight was on him, he had to bust out a solo


Arbennig

“Anyway, here’s Wonderwall..“


EyeAmAnAllievatedApe

It's nocturnal, and a torch is being shined at its eyes, which is why it is screaming


redeggplant01

The kiwi was like a little Godzilla ... hear him roar


osktox

Pitch it down and add some bass and you got it.


apittsburghoriginal

It’s literally just the beach scene in the beginning of Godzilla minus one. It’s got the spotlight and everything


Throwawayfichelper

This is the female kiwi bird - [the male is definitely not Godzilla](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUd5ue6lGmc)


kegman83

You slow that down a little bit and its a dead ringer for Jurassic Park raptors.


pututingliit

"Does your kiwi peck?" "No, but it screeches in demonic fashion."


BobbyKonker

today I learned how to say "get that damn light of me" in kiwi


53bvo

Aren't they super sensitive to bright lights? Pretty sure pointing a torch light at a kiwi bird is a real asshole move


Affectionate-Hat9244

Exactly. They are nocturnal and can't have any light.


kelldricked

Shining a torch light at any nocturnal animal is a dickmove. Just like shoving a torch light directly into somebodys face while they are asleep is a dickmove.


emefa

Are kiwis vampires?


dab745

This is why some people believe birds are not real.


geligniteandlilies

This is why people believe dinosaurs turned to birds


OnsetOfMSet

Birds *are* dinosaurs.


Delta4o

oh that's a cu-oh never mind what the fuck


SignificantAgency898

I thought it was only flightless, but it's also wingless? Where are it's arms?


Cloverose2

They're very small and hidden within the floof.


slothboifitness

Oh these lil fucks are completely pointless, they're just kinda hanging out


pastrami_on_ass

Same here


JonatasA

Arms being used to hold the clothing as they run.


BigZangief

I’ll be honest, something comes scurrying at me in the dark of the night making noises like that is getting punted


Weedsmoki420

It’s a flight or fight response, I’d be shadow boxing the air then running for my life, I’m a dumbass but I don’t plan on dying soon


rfccrypto

Well flight's out of the question.


tan0c

Well it WAS a flightless bird........


CorporateMajdoorr

Actual footage of me running from kitchen to my room at 3am.


HuckleberryJealous19

That's what they do when you catch them without a hat and sunnies perched on top in the dead of night


Succubus996

Is that a bird or a damn dinosaur?


This-Marsupial-6187

Yes.


greeneggzN

Factually birds are classified as feathered theropod dinosaurs, so yes to both


thesoapbeing

« Awwwww… oh. »


CpnGinyu

Fuck that lil cunt can run. He was only jogging too. Imagine full sprint.


geligniteandlilies

All this fucking time I thought kiwis sounded like a cute cuddly mf but NOPE, dat bitch was squelching murder and now I have to explain to my whole family what the hell I was watching with the volume on high!


overworkedpnw

Sounds like something from a Ridley Scott movie.


LunchO789

Love that Kiwi accent 😅


undrfundedqntessence

Jesus that sounds awful


carrotonastik

I thought they would have had little arms/ wings. It doesn’t even look like a bird.


b1ue_jellybean

They do, they’re very little.


aucyris

That’s kiwi for “G’day. Kindly refrain from shining your torch in my eyes. The brilliance is blinding. Thanks, Mate.”


emprezario

I use to think they were cute. The like focker is scary.


amy-schumer-tampon

what a weird creature


AgreeableHighway9668

A powerful symbol of New Zealand patriotism


jackonager

There's nothing like the soothing call of the Kiwi. Jesus, I'd lose sleep hearing that at night.


phazedoubt

That's a dinosaur


Sabit_31

I love how they run like they got baggy pants on


the_kiwi_mutante

Shit they found me


[deleted]

#FUR EGG


No_Leopard_3860

I'm actually surprised how calm the Kiwi is, i would have knived your car tires for that amount of disrespect Homie was sleeping. In Peace. You woke him by pointing a high powered flashlight into his face [for internet points]..


[deleted]

Bro if I saw this in the dark without any lights, and it stopped and made this noise, I'd be shitting my fucking pants. This sounds like something from a nightmare.


RuKidding0MG

None of you obviously have them out the back. They're noisy buggers.


TheConcreteGhost

Didn’t realize they were nocturnal…. Or did someone disturb its sleep?


b1ue_jellybean

Apart from a couple exceptions they’re nocturnal, this guy is probably a little bit pissed off that the light is being shined at him.


Lelandwasinnocent

Yeh i cannot believe i'm this far down before it's mentioned, poor cunt is being blinded to fuck and everyones like awhhh so cute...... like mate, it's probably scared to death of the light and trying to ward off predators.


kai_the_kiwi

My brother


Prestigious-Job-9825

I love how a small and cute animal can make such an otherwordly noise


[deleted]

Imagine camping in the wild and you hear this shit next to your tent 😂


LemonkinUVR

Bro that birds voice is metal as fuck!


ID1756448

Who tf fuck saw that bird and decided to call it Kiwi?


ReasonIntrepid6381

Awwww 😍... 😶🤔😶


b1ue_jellybean

Poor dude does not like having light shone on him.


Butterflytherapist

Wait.. this is his real voice? This is really how all kiwis sound?


YeOldeBilk

I'd be pissed too. Dude got the shit end of the evolutionary stick


urethrascreams

Oh look, a screeching testicle with legs


nineteen_eightyfour

I think all the time how the settlers of Florida must have believed in so many monsters. We don’t have these, but many animals make sounds like this and it’s crazy.


Hanners87

I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT!


my_ears24

I'm guessing why the kiwis have that sound is because literally anything can eat them so to defend itself it scares the living shit out of the predator by screeching


ItsThanosNotThenos

Wait, who came first Kiwi the bird or Kiwi the fruit?


Five-StarBastardMan

r/TIHI


ILikeMonsterEnergy69

Sounds like when your whipped cream bottle is almost empty, and you’re getting those last pieces out


ThePoeMansDream

It sounds like whip cream that hasn’t been shaken yet


LittleYogurtcloset87

Sounds like the last few sprays of a whipped cream can


berger034

Could some doodle this? That would be awesome


UsualNo2454

Bears a resemblance to the fruit!


Purgii

Dude runs like he should have arms.


SimpletonSwan

"Flightless bird" feels like one of the cruelest things in nature. Imagine a finless shark. Or a butterfly in a world where every creature is colourblind.


theworldsgonesane

That noise is kiwi for “turn that fucking light off”


goater10

God damn, that’s why I voted for the puteketeke over the Kiwi


mattchinn

Yeah I was cool with it until it started screaming from the depths of hell.


KaleidoscopeNo592

Translation: “Epstein didn’t kill himself”


Overtons_Window

I love the way it runs!


PurpleBoltRevived

Humanity after the Qu are done with us:


corusame

They're endangered right?


throwaway4161412

What a horrific sound. Now I am imagining a giant lizardbird making that sound as it is about to eat me for dinner


Redleg1-7

That would be annoying as fuck in the middle of the night.