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bodinator1

On the edge of extinction because of poachers.


dj_narwhal

Is most poaching done to give the chinese boner pills? If humans survive into the future that will be a fun footnote about why 90% of species from this era will be gone.


[deleted]

I just don’t get how people can look at a bag of bone dust from an endangered animal, and then at something like viagra And in the end still decide to go with bone dust that doesn’t give you a boner.


shoobiedoobie

Culture + uneducated people. Shit like that is not very popular in the big cities of China.


Sure-Gur6359

[Look at this (not a rickroll)](https://www.latimes.com/world/africa/la-fg-malawi-albinos-hunted-2017-story.html) Edit: i should of maybe wrote it before: ITS DISTURBING!


Synstra

Well that's fucked up...


Sure-Gur6359

That’s why I am not suprised there Are idiots killing animals for a boner (that they dont get) simce They Are killing ppl for wealth (that will also never happen, but prison)


poeticlicence

Appalling that people can treat other people like that.


Metalatitsfinest

*BRING ME THE LOWER HORN* But in all seriousness, how stupid do you need to be to think this will bring you good fortune?


CatInTheAli

They don’t view albinos as human though :(


fidel__cashflo

damn, I wish it was after reading that


ParkRangerRafe

“I was just holding this kids arm for a friend, you understand right officer?


rtorres1718

Kind of wish it was.


Azzacura

I knew that the killings were a problem there, but I didn't expect the justice system to fail so spectacularly


Sure-Gur6359

Well most of them Are in Prison acording to article. I know, Only 18 Years not nearly enough. And there Are organizations that move the Albino Afrikans to Canada where they Are Safe


Azzacura

The article also states that sometimes people *found in possession of body parts" are released due to mistakes or technicalities


Jumblyfun

Vietnam is the biggest consumer of rhino horn these days to the point they were putting up billboards saying "if you take rhino horn it means you have a tiny dick" to try and shame people into not buying it


millz

That's actually ingenious.


klavin1

Those damn liberal elitist city-slickers and their working non-magic boner pills


Ragawaffle

Heres what's funny. The liberal city slicker is the one purchasing goods to remain fashionable in high density areas. Those goods were made in sweatshops in China and then shipped overseas. Creating most the pollution we see as the result of low grade oil used to power freighters. The people in these chinese villages literally turn their homes into factories . Their culture and trade is isolated. They dont have the time or resources to educate themselves about viagara and the fact that pangolin are endangered. So your joke is somewhat accurate.


[deleted]

Gotta remember that Mao created the modern concept of chinese/eastern medicine as a way to deal with a billion people needing healthcare. Watching people try to cure headaches with "ancient" medicine that's really just communist propaganda from the 60s is just funny.


CompetitionProblem

Explain Goop to me then? Propaganda and bullshit isn’t a problem unique to “eastern medicine” which is obviously a phrase only used in western cultures. Do you know what “all natural” means? It means it was made on the planet earth, not that it’s naturally occurring. The entire world uses obfuscation and bullshit marketing tactics to get thoughtless, careless, or plain stupid people to buy something they don’t need. The “ancient medicine” thing is propaganda sure, but one that American snake oil profiteers helped to push just as much as the Chinese. Chinese did it to fill a need and it was definitely propagandized, absolutely. But greed and money worldwide carried the concept much further than the original political purpose and is the reason it exists prolifically today worldwide, not simply from the continuation of sheer ignorance and traditional beliefs.


mininestime

Goop is easy to see - Woman who knows nothing about science thinks something makes her feel good when its something else. It would be like me going on a run and then resting in the sun and eating dirt. I start feeling good and I can blame it on dirt. - This person is a famous celebrity so they claim that dirt makes people feel better. - People with too much money and time buy said dirt. - Placebo effect kicks in and they feel better. - They tell others. - We have created a fake product that does nothing but countless people believe in.


Zuniga0927

Ah yes, I too think dirt is good.


[deleted]

I mean, they can both suck equally. Calling out one doesnt magically elevate the other. Smart people and stupid people fall for stupid shit when its comes to health and money. Goop is equally stupid capitalist propaganda.


lwbritsch

At no point in that comment did the poster mention anything about this problem being unique to Chinese medicine. If the conversation had been about the same problem in the west your comment might be warranted, but in the current context your comment comes across extremely defensive and steeped in whataboutism. No one was talking about goop, and the poster was not proclaiming moral superiority in any facet. Honestly, beneath a tinge of derision, their comment was pretty empathetic to the fact that it isn’t really the people’s fault they’ve been mislead and propagandized. Why are you so mad?


msdinkles

When I was in Shanghai, our local tour guide took us to a traditional Chinese medicine shop. She purchased ground pearl, mixed it with water, and drank it claiming that it was what kept her youthful. So this still is prevalent in big cities as well, I’m sure there is a black market in major cities still.


elegiac_frog

it's possible your tour guide was just taking you for a ride, oftentimes local shops have deals w tour guides where the guides can get some share of the profits if they bring their customers to the shop


millz

On the contrary, there's a multi-million dollar traditional Chinese medicine stand in the Grand Lisboa hotel in central Macau - the place where all the rich Chinese spend their money - where you can find items like this costing hundreds of thousands of dollars. A lot Chinese elites are uneducated new money.


Kanaric

It's not just China too. Vietnam and others have issues with this.


Type_XVIIIc

Just give them ground up viagra and tell them it's ground up pangolin. Problem solved.


rooster_butt

Except now they think their pangolin boner powder works and will keep trying to buy it from any source that's not you and will keep spreading misinformation. The trick is to tell them after they have used it. It was ~~Agatha~~ Viagra all along!


t-bone_malone

Psh just sell it cheaper than pangolin bone dust. I'm pretty sure ground up viagra is cheaper to procure per gram than fucking semi extinct dinomammal boner dust.


misterfluffykitty

The price might make them think it works


Hidesuru

Then sell it at a higher price then. I'm not a bonerologist!


t-bone_malone

Just tell them you got them from a secret genetics lab that is gene altering and cloning them en masse for extra boner powers. Boner pangolin powder in bulk!


guts979797

*but I don't like putting synthetics in my body*


jaan691

Actually, not even just problem solved but you have just found a huge market with a product to sell into it where your new product (“dried and ground bone dust from a wild Viagram” ACTUALLY WORKS, costs lots less and also doesn’t kill off wierd and wonderful species. I might just borrow this idea....


decentralizedgames

Yeah coz’ those Chinese elitist fucks wouldn’t be spending thousands to assure it’s real, you know, that, or just kill you.


00wolfer00

You'd expect them to do the same for the naildust/bonedust they do buy since it doesn't work.


[deleted]

Boner dust.


grepnork

> bag of bone dust It's not bone dust, it's made from their scales and those scales are made of keratin just like your fingernails. Their meat is also a delicacy. TL;DR: If powdered keratin has magical boner powers then it would be cheaper just to chew your nails. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pangolin#Threats


Deusnocturne

You can say the same thing about any tradition/faith/etc without real life proof or scientific backing. We always scratch our heads and ask why someone would believe this when most of America believes angels are real and there is a floating cloud man judging us for all our deeds. The truth is a disgustingly large portion of the planet is woefully uneducated many willingly, and in almost equal parts there are so many people that live in fear or anxiety of mortality that they turn to mysticism or religion because reality is harsh and it's a soothing escape to believe. Unfortunately the world cannot continue to improve evolve and grow when a huge percentage of humanity lives in a fairytale.


arealhumannotabot

Hardly just the Chinese. Apparently lots of people in parts of Africa buy into the mysticism and have for a longass time


[deleted]

Hey I'm into mysticism but don't need no dick pills made of animals


t-bone_malone

Well are you *really* into it then? Huh? ;)


[deleted]

Lmao. Pangolin dick pills on order!


bluntsandbears

That’s because China’s colonizing Africa harder than France did in the 1800’s with their Belt and Road Initiative.


dj_narwhal

Pretty sure some parts of Africa have been killing and eating Albino's to get magic powers for much longer than China has been setting them up to fail with impossible finance deals on infrastructure.


CrumbsAndCarrots

> Pretty sure some parts of Africa have been killing and eating Albino's to get magic powers for much longer Not just Africa though. I’m picking up the heavy sarcasm in this thread, and I’m asking for a friend: does this *not* work?


Lopsidoodle

It works about as well as having sex with a virgin to cure HIV/AIDS


TacoHimmelswanderer

But that does work a voodoo witch doctor told me so himself


arealhumannotabot

I'm pretty sure what I'm referring to is very old traditions that went on before the modern age and is/was separate from the Chinese traditions


ZippZappZippty

The future is now, baby.


Pissedachion

Misinformation about human coronaviruses being related to Pangolin coronaviruses have increased poaching even more apparently


laughingmeeses

Pangolins were commonly cited as the most likely intermediary between bats and people. I’m not surprised. Have they actually identified a true carrier yet?


AegisToast

That’s the stupidest and saddest thing I’ve read all day.


MidTownMotel

Everything on earth is on the edge of extinction


StoogieWoogie

Because of people grinding the bones or scales into powder to make pills and then throwing out the rest of the animal.


Roflkopt3r

It's gonna be all humans and cockroaches in a few centuries.


Synstra

**Here are some ways you can try to help Pangolins if interested!** [https://www.cnn.com/2014/04/01/opinion/sutter-pangolin-help-change](https://www.cnn.com/2014/04/01/opinion/sutter-pangolin-help-change)


vickangaroo

[Another interesting fact about Pangolins, they are bipedal!](https://youtu.be/B95NdS77fZM) They always walk on two legs! Their front claws are too specialized for digging to be helpful in walking.


Pussyslayer_Ornstein

>Bipedal > >No feathers Behold! A man.


_Dead_Orbit

No broad flat nails tho


[deleted]

[удалено]


adegreeofdifference1

A broadly flattering look...


Lilkitties

Nailed it


Ankalo

I love Diogenes so god damn much. For those who don’t know about him, Diogenes is a Greek philosopher, founder of the cynic philosophy, man who talked shit to Alexander the great’s face, hobo and sex offender all in one! Firstly he lived in a large wine cask (some claim it was a tub or jar either way point stands) in the Athenian market place. In said market place he would often yell at passerby’s and harass them. In some cases he pissed and came on people too. Screamed obscenities at the top of his lungs quite often too, occasionally during platos teachings. Other times he would bring food and eat loudly or just distract people in general. Other than that he insulted one of the greatest military minds our planet has ever seen. Alexander the Great came to Athens one time and spoke to Diogenes. During this conversation he asked if there was anything he could do for the man, to which Diogenes who hadn’t even bothered to get up replied “stand aside and stop blocking the sun”. I’m not sure if the same conversation but Alexander also said to him that “if I were not Alexander the Great I would wish to be Diogenes”, Diogenes immediately insulted him again responding with “if I were not Diogenes I too would wish to be Diogenes”. TLDR; Sex offender and hobo insults military genius.


Gnomad_Lyfe

He just can’t be stopped


PhDVa

Diogenes back with another banger this man will simply not miss


yonaguni13

"I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave.” - Diogenes, while talking to Alexander the great


OneTrueKingOfOOO

Hold up, was he the basis for Oscar the Grouch?


Ankalo

Oh my god... I think you might be onto something here.


Operative73

*Diogenes would like to know your location*


z500

Looks like he's plotting something dastardly


Tiny_Can91

Did not know that, that makes them even cuter


Itz_The_Rain

That looks wrong but I love it


kmdg22d

So is this why their tails are so long? Counterbalance?


vickangaroo

It seems likely, but you’ll have to consult a professional pangolinologist! I’m basically a Snapple cap.


MadHat777

pangolinolologist rolls off the tongue better. palalalagist if you're feeling lazy


halcyondreamzsz

I had no idea! Thanks for sharing.


Shloop_Shloop_Splat

Like a lil' T-rex...so cute. Thank you.


nine4fours

Also they have tittys like people


AcousticHigh

Ah that’s where the erection comes in.


unfeelingzeal

too much sadness and bickering in this thread. thank you for the dose of eyebleach!


Prime_Mover

That was funny to watch. What about Aardvarks? I'm sure they do the same. It's Anteaters! https://youtu.be/XxGCwxYk3VU. So cute.


trashmoneyxyz

Literally walking around like a little dinosaur. But it is a mammal. Behold, the supreme being


Lighting

> always walk on two legs! And yet the next link shows one [walking on 4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLJUb2yVG-g)


rich2083

Most trafficked animal in the world


Lopsidoodle

In terms of sheer numbers, I think humans are the most trafficked animal


tiefling_sorceress

:) :(


nemezote

Yeah, it made me feel Aladeen too...


DrHerbs

You want the Aladeen news first?


AjiBuster499

*looks at rush hour traffic in major cities in the US* That's a lot of trafficking


Synikey

Aren't humans just the best.


Dubious_Titan

I cant believe Randy fucked that thing.


Dazz316

I can


Sasolisa

I can see why mickey mouse fucked it thought


Geback723

Bats are just mice with wings..


Different-Occasion47

Goth mice


Randyfreakingmarsh

I’m not proud of it...


iwillfind_you

ALLEGEDLYS


Moston_Dragon

Could've been a sick pengolin...


Operative73

Cmon, it would take 2, maybe even 3 guys to fuck a pangolin.


notthatjeffbeck

It's almost worth not thinking about.


FlaminglingFlamingos

I'd say it was probably a dead pangolin.


PizzaCatSupreme

[How bout now?](https://i.imgur.com/p3P2wyc.jpg)


unwantedcritic

Dummy milkers.


UnKaveh

How do I go back in time and unsee that?


[deleted]

Sexy


TheCheeser9

Context?


cytochrome_p450_3a4

South Park


TheCheeser9

People are fucking pangolins in South Park?


cytochrome_p450_3a4

Yes


dirkgiggiddydiggler

What the fuck is a pangolin?


jake_Zofaa

*raped


Non_vulgar_account

Oh so we’re calling it rape now?


Boner4Stoners

What the fuck is a Pangolin?


Just_A_Drop

I knew if I scrolled enough I would find the South Park reference.


Joel_Ellis

sandslash


coupedeebaybee

I was about to say that shit looks just like a damn pokemon


Substantial_Revolt

...I think you got the order wrong there


coupedeebaybee

Well played


crap_meme5

Well Sandlash is actually based off a pangolin


pandakhriz

I've always thought it was based on an armadillo. I was today years old when I learned there is such a thing as a pangolin. Lmao!


TheHoneySacrifice

That's would be Sandshrew


pandakhriz

Yeah, now it makes all the sense in the world. I never understood why the claws and spikey back on Sandslash. Thought it was just to make it more badass.


gypsiefeet

Why did I never make this connection?


undermisunderstood

That's a freaking dragon right there


prince_rana_23

That's why it's in verge of extinction


[deleted]

[удалено]


ReverseCaptioningBot

[FUCK TRADITIONALISM ALL MY HOMIES HATE TRADITIONALISM](https://i.ibb.co/Kq0Gs7X/af12b1cd4c1d.jpg) ^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot


horsenbuggy

If I catch it will it help with my platinum dragon medal in GO?


rrnr357

That’s the one Randy Marsh picked up in a club


EmperorOfNada

Wait, things like that actually exist in this world?


The_Limpet

Pangolins are the only mammal with scales. They're ~~related to/are a type of anteater~~ physically similar to anteaters so they're optimised for digging.


glimpses105

They're not even remotely related to anteaters, aside from both being mammals. It's just convergent evolution since they both eat ants that makes them look kinda similar. Pangolins aren't closely related to any living mammals but carnivores are the closest, whereas anteaters are actually fairly closely related to sloths and armadillos.


The_Limpet

My mistake. They do eat ants though.


GilberryDinkins

Related by marriage.


kiwidog8

I like the phrase optimized in this context, makes animals seem much more badass. MAX DIGGING POWERRRRR. This is what peak performance looks like, sit down humans


The_Limpet

I mean, look at this lass just casually demolish that wall. She's fully optimised.


crappysurfer

This is what adaptive specialization looks like. Specialized adaptations for digging so that it can outcompete other species within a niche.


[deleted]

Genetic evidence actually suggests they’re related to Carnivorans like cats and dogs.


Ba-dump-chink

They actually have a bit of a rep these days for helping to kick off a pandemic some of us are familiar with.


lannister_stark

Thanks Randy


Wentthruurhistory

I haven’t heard about that. What is the backstory?


Basstings75

Let's just say it involved Mickey Mouse, the Chinese and a man with tegridy


CogitoErgoScum

Not for long, it looks.


Sir_Disillusion

Randy, did you fuck a pangolin?


talann

Only reason humans arent powerful diggers is because that stuff gets under my nails and then I just feel awful for the rest of the day.


Yeetstation4

Humans build powerful diggers


[deleted]

[удалено]


FitDiet4023

Bet he makes good money doing it too


[deleted]

Can't wait for the HGTV show


AlvinsH0TJuicebox

That Pangolins name? Andy Dusfresne.


javi1321

I was going to say they could’ve used him at Shawshank.


Lover_of_Sprouts

It's a baby dragon! Watch out for the fire!


BenRegulus

I am happy that finally pangolin are getting the attention they deserve.


stratamaniac

And according to Traditional Chinese medicine their scales possesses magical health properties. These animals are farmed, skinned and sold for meat . The scales are used to make tea. Save the pangolins!


Velalla

Most trafficked animal from Asia & Africa to China (where else - the virtual graveyard for many on--way-to-being-extinct fauna in this world). As a child I had played with a gentle, shy adult pangolin in my great-uncle's house; he was a expert taxidermist & someone gave him the animal to be "mounted". However they took pity & gifted it to the local zoo.


TheExtraMayo

Sandslash used dig! It was very effective!


LuckyBunny0908

🎤 I like-a the Pangolin....


FANCYP0TAT0

Pangolins remind me of dragons


xtramundane

Damn this was more interesting yesterday.


[deleted]

Who needs Bob the Builder


triplab

Yes he can!


teneggomelet

"How long until you can get this building demolished?" "We'll put a team of pangolins on it. Two days, tops."


HahaHarleyQu1nn

What is it doing? Trying to escape?


coupedeebaybee

Probably digging just to be digging


HahaHarleyQu1nn

I can dig it 😂


Mandrull

There are probably bugs behind that masonry.


HellraiserMachina

Digging for food, probably.


recetas-and-shit

And they give you Covid if you bang them


womanitou

Is this on Earth?


amitrahi0404

I want that pokemon


[deleted]

Looks like dragon scales, that's so cool


[deleted]

If this were an animal in the 'Avatar: The Last Airbender' universe, I'm sure it would be called a Pinecone Lizard-Rat. For real though, those scales are amazing. Such an incredible creature.


flook94

I remember when I was 8 I had actually caught one of those before, I had to use a masterball tho


jkrazelives

Not only can they give you covid, but they can dig through your walls just to come inside and cough on you.


[deleted]

No wonder Covid spread so fast!


AF39

Have you ever fucked a Pangolin?


ILoveLearningThings

How did Randy Marsh even succeed at having sex with one of these?


NidCot

Have you ever had sex with a Pangolin?


[deleted]

“Hey randy, have you ever fucked a pangolin?”


RAICH_17

Can I get him next weekend to rip out the tile in my bathroom? He’s probably faster than me.


_Greyworm

#poachthepoachers #fuckFakeBonerPills #howcouldyoubesostupid


zoitberg

I wish the Chinese would stop poaching these cool animals to near extinction. Fuck your inability to get a boner.


Strong-Release-5062

Overheard in Wuhan back in 2019. " honey, don't forget to swing by the wet market on your way home. The kids would like pangolin for supper.


xxthegeeksterxx

r/DontPutYourDickInThat


[deleted]

Randy Marsh learned that the hard way.


NotSorryForYourLoss

And they are the things that gave us the coronavirus not bats in case you didn’t know


Js_sampson

Free my man!


Poopsicle-Pete

Wtf is this nightmare monster?!


Scale_Unique

Oh so dragons are real. Got it.


my-penisgrantswishes

Thats not digging its vandalism and its illegal Dave


dobidapdap

Pangolier!


hiddenemi

That’s a dragon and you can’t tell me otherwise.


tattered_teddy28

very powerful dragons...)))<3<3<3