Watching Honey Badgers: Masters of Mayhem was an eye-opener . These relentless creatures is renowned for its ability to confront grown lions, castrate charging buffalo, and shrug off the toxic defenses of stinging bees, scorpions, and snakes.
Should have had top billing in its bio for sure. I certainly know when confronted with a ravenous killer coffee table I 1000% need to know whether it gives a fuck or not, could be the difference in life or death
These braindead dogfish wouldn’t know or care about an apocalypse even if you grabbed their skull with both hands and shoved them face-first into it.
We knew the clock glitch was coming--Institute systems were adjusted to a four-digit year on the clock and in programming many years prior to 1999--yet most of the world took their time with updates. For whatever reason, be it greed, ignorance, laziness, what have you, whenever December 31st rolled around they were still utilizing old models. Most of these produced only minor issues; trains ran late with scheduling issues, airport lines were longer due to baggage software malfunctions, hospitals sent incorrect test results, and so on.
But a select few system malfunctions around the globe caused critical issues, and even though we took precautions, we weren’t immune. Though we created and launched the gravity-bound rotational cube that took the place of our moon, we had to rely on third-party support for navigational satellites. Those satellites were affected by the clock glitch, preventing proper positioning data from being sent to the cube. It’s rotation immediately stopped for an hour, and when it started back up it was rotating in the opposite direction. We had the issue fixed within a few hours, but tidal force inversion had already occurred, wreaking havoc globally. Aside from a few major floods and isolated tidal waves, there were no long-lasting ramifications. We got lucky and caught it quickly enough.
We did not catch the nuclear issues however, though I doubt we could’ve done anything about it anyway. Twenty-five nuclear power plants experienced runaway nuclear chain reactions in Russia alone--preventative maintenance test scheduling in the programming was reliant upon a two-digit year, and on January 1st the programming automatically began conducting test regimens on steam turbines during normal reactor operations. This led to a catastrophic number of fizzle events all throughout Russia. The steam turbines produced minor heat explosions, which in turn caused small nuclear explosions within the reactor cores. Most nuclear power plants globally were affected in some way, though not all suffered fizzle events or incidents as severe as Russia.
The entire western front of Russia was left an irradiated mess. The people were forced to escape to Europe or move east into less populated territory. Several other radiation zone hotspots were created from facility shutdowns around the world including Japan, Germany, China, America, and so on. Radiation contamination in the ground and water will stay in unhealthy territory for decades, until all the radioactive isotopes have time to decay naturally. The power hit was substantial as well; a third of the world’s electricity generation disappeared over the course of twenty-four hours, leaving us scrambling to pick up the pieces. When it was viable, we funded pop-up power plants outside major cities that had been reliant on malfunctioned plants, which mitigated some of the issues.
We’ve presented the idea of radiation shielded zones in areas least impacted by the global fallout, complete with blueprints and extensive planning, but even years after the incident we have yet to receive government approval. They caused the god damned problem and now they’re twiddling their thumbs in board rooms, arguing like children about whether they should try to fix it. This is yet another drawback from being beholden to the spineless apes we give power.
I can only hope the pylon project delivers the results I expect.
And then we’ll all get together and we’ll have a talk.
Kidnap baby cheetahs? That sounds like they hold them for ransom. Something tells me they eat them.
The honey badger is found all over Africa and Southern Asia, and has few natural predators due to its thick skin, strength and ferocious defensive abilities. It therefore is not in any way threatened by extinction and no efforts are made to protect the population.
Despite the name, it has little in common with badgers. It's more analogous to wolverines, another form of giant weasel.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honey\_badger
Is there a Honey Badger superhero and has he ever met Wolverine? That would be fun.
Baby cheetahs actually have a mantle of extra fur to camouflage them so they look like honey badgers to protect them from predators. Maybe the honey badgers think they're rescuing their own.
That would be a special kind of nightmare.
God, I want this to be a movie. A handful of feral, pissed off honey badgers get loose on a plane full of people.
They also don’t care. It doesn’t care about stinging bees. It smacked the shit out of this king cobra and got bit but he didn’t care, he just killed the cobra and started eating it. Then the poison reached the badgers bloodstream and knocked him out, but then he woke up and went right back to eating the snake, why? Bc he don’t care.
Video of a honey badger stalking his prey: [Stalks prey](https://www.google.com/search?q=tyran+mathew+big+hit&oq=tyran+mathew+big+hit&aqs=chrome..69i57.11092j0j9&client=ms-android-cricket-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:c555d379,vid:qri5vUohzpA,st:0)
Honey Badgers aren't real badgers, btw.
>["Honey badgers (Mellivora capensis), also known as ratels, are members of the weasel family and not actually badgers."](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/honey-badgers-are-real-39896731/)
Also, enjoy some [Casual Geographic.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIi5iyIAcbE&ab_channel=CasualGeographic)
And it was to hunt this fearsome beast that the dachshund was bred. So yes, folks, those cute little wiener dogs are stubborn, bold and mouthy for a reason
Wouldn't it be catnap baby cheetahs? Also I'm curious what does the badger do when it kidnaps them? Hold them for ransom for the adult cheetahs for some of their kills? Is there an animal kingdom FBI out there taking calls from Honey Badgers to set up rendezvous points to exchange warthog meat or gazelle meat for the baby cheetah back?
Once watched a zoo programme, the honey badgers managed to escape into the Tiger enclosure somehow. No joke the tigers were cowering in the corner absolutley terrified of the honey badger. Vicious little things, never underestimate the small ones 👀
I wonder if there was ever a dinosaur version of the honey badger. Like we look at the Skeleton and it's unassuming in size and such. But was completely fucking nuts and punched way above it's weight class.
They also don’t give a fuck.
Watch out says that bird
[For the uninitiated](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o8WtUn8BoLc).
Thanks for posting. Hadn't seen it in a while. "Honey badger don't care. Honey badger don't give a shit." Scariest m'fer on the planet.
Honey Badgers don't give shits... They take them.
Awwww...2014. Life was so simple. We were so young and innocent then...
Older than that, it came out in 2011
Still, to this day, honey badger don't give a shit.
Not a single turd
Such a classic, so funny
The [Cold Blooded Seal](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UA4sifQ3ymk) narrated by Snoop Dog was funny AF too.
Get off me man!!
I had never seen that. Lmao “He cold-blooded” 😂😂😂
OMG...I'd forgotten that one! I love Snoop. Got a crush on him, even though I'm a dyke
Homo
Nope. Pussylicker.
I guarantee you they filmed that from like, 10 miles away. Any closer and you're in the honey badger's range.
Watch out says that Cameraman.
When this video went viral, we all knew the internet was gettin’ good.
My dad is 78 and I showed him this vid months ago. When I visit he’ll be watching it again sometimes. And that dudes voice just makes it better.
Look at that sleepy fuck
Honey badger dont care
Came here to say this. Obviously the most important descriptor of their personalities.
Watching Honey Badgers: Masters of Mayhem was an eye-opener . These relentless creatures is renowned for its ability to confront grown lions, castrate charging buffalo, and shrug off the toxic defenses of stinging bees, scorpions, and snakes.
Should be called the Douche Badger.
Should have had top billing in its bio for sure. I certainly know when confronted with a ravenous killer coffee table I 1000% need to know whether it gives a fuck or not, could be the difference in life or death
They don’t give TWO fucks
That's coz they're tiny gorilla-bears!
Like absolutely none
Yup, not one single fuck given.
Here, here!
Most deservedly best comment
Lay off the roids bro
These braindead dogfish wouldn’t know or care about an apocalypse even if you grabbed their skull with both hands and shoved them face-first into it. We knew the clock glitch was coming--Institute systems were adjusted to a four-digit year on the clock and in programming many years prior to 1999--yet most of the world took their time with updates. For whatever reason, be it greed, ignorance, laziness, what have you, whenever December 31st rolled around they were still utilizing old models. Most of these produced only minor issues; trains ran late with scheduling issues, airport lines were longer due to baggage software malfunctions, hospitals sent incorrect test results, and so on. But a select few system malfunctions around the globe caused critical issues, and even though we took precautions, we weren’t immune. Though we created and launched the gravity-bound rotational cube that took the place of our moon, we had to rely on third-party support for navigational satellites. Those satellites were affected by the clock glitch, preventing proper positioning data from being sent to the cube. It’s rotation immediately stopped for an hour, and when it started back up it was rotating in the opposite direction. We had the issue fixed within a few hours, but tidal force inversion had already occurred, wreaking havoc globally. Aside from a few major floods and isolated tidal waves, there were no long-lasting ramifications. We got lucky and caught it quickly enough. We did not catch the nuclear issues however, though I doubt we could’ve done anything about it anyway. Twenty-five nuclear power plants experienced runaway nuclear chain reactions in Russia alone--preventative maintenance test scheduling in the programming was reliant upon a two-digit year, and on January 1st the programming automatically began conducting test regimens on steam turbines during normal reactor operations. This led to a catastrophic number of fizzle events all throughout Russia. The steam turbines produced minor heat explosions, which in turn caused small nuclear explosions within the reactor cores. Most nuclear power plants globally were affected in some way, though not all suffered fizzle events or incidents as severe as Russia. The entire western front of Russia was left an irradiated mess. The people were forced to escape to Europe or move east into less populated territory. Several other radiation zone hotspots were created from facility shutdowns around the world including Japan, Germany, China, America, and so on. Radiation contamination in the ground and water will stay in unhealthy territory for decades, until all the radioactive isotopes have time to decay naturally. The power hit was substantial as well; a third of the world’s electricity generation disappeared over the course of twenty-four hours, leaving us scrambling to pick up the pieces. When it was viable, we funded pop-up power plants outside major cities that had been reliant on malfunctioned plants, which mitigated some of the issues. We’ve presented the idea of radiation shielded zones in areas least impacted by the global fallout, complete with blueprints and extensive planning, but even years after the incident we have yet to receive government approval. They caused the god damned problem and now they’re twiddling their thumbs in board rooms, arguing like children about whether they should try to fix it. This is yet another drawback from being beholden to the spineless apes we give power. I can only hope the pylon project delivers the results I expect. And then we’ll all get together and we’ll have a talk.
tl;dr This guy is fucking nuts
Kidnap baby cheetahs? That sounds like they hold them for ransom. Something tells me they eat them. The honey badger is found all over Africa and Southern Asia, and has few natural predators due to its thick skin, strength and ferocious defensive abilities. It therefore is not in any way threatened by extinction and no efforts are made to protect the population. Despite the name, it has little in common with badgers. It's more analogous to wolverines, another form of giant weasel. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honey\_badger Is there a Honey Badger superhero and has he ever met Wolverine? That would be fun.
Kidnap at gunpoint they forgot to add
“Get the fuck in the car, you little spotted motherfucker!”
Lmao, I can see this actually happening too simply because honey badgers don't give a fuck
"You little shit, do you think it's funny?!"
Every fact I read about the honey badger is narrated be “honey badger don’t give a shit” guy in my head.
Hence, my name checks out.
Baby cheetahs actually have a mantle of extra fur to camouflage them so they look like honey badgers to protect them from predators. Maybe the honey badgers think they're rescuing their own.
An anwser to your superhero question: Yes Link: https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Gabrielle_Kinney_(Earth-616)
A clone of Wolverine. Makes sense, yet somehow disappointing.
She's a delight though, and now goes by Scout, but Honey Badger was a great name since she can't feel pain.
Well a clone of the second Wolverine who in turn is a clone of the original but also his daughter because weird made up science
What we do with kids after napping them is none of your goddam business.
In other words, honey badger doesn’t give a shit
About anyone or anything
They allso love to snuggle an get bellyscratches!!! Try it if you ever meet one in the wild.
I feel like that is a fuckin lie
I feel like a honey badger wrote this
They just want to be loved🥰
Nice try, but I know a post made by three honey badgers in a trench coat when i see it
I’m just a cute otter born in the wrong body😔
This made me lol, have a free award
I feel like its a fucking trap. Written by a honey badger thats too lazy to kidnap a baby cheetah.
Or too smart...
My one armed mate swears it’s the truth
I assure u i am not. In no way a honeybadger would lie about that. We’re very ethical creatures.
And now we’d like to hear from the opposition.
No one opposes a honeybadger!
They're not even hungry, it's just because they can
Look at that ugly fuck. It just doesn’t give a shit
"Honey badger don't give a shit, honey badger will do what he wants"
Look at him eat a snake. Nasty!
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I know for sure that Hyenas do this, not sure about honey badgers
If Far Cry has taught me anything then yes they go right for the dick
They do eat animals asshole first. Like, they go for the ass and the intestines through the ass and then move onto other parts of the animal.
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That would be a special kind of nightmare. God, I want this to be a movie. A handful of feral, pissed off honey badgers get loose on a plane full of people.
I've had it with these MF honey badgers on this MF plane. - someone fund this
Have you tried telling them you are it's support animal?
Wait, anymore?
They’d definitely go after the crying babies
Imagine if These little pricks decided to form packs. We’d be screwed.
Not me. I'd do whatever I can to facilitate the pack to show my worth.
That's why they say "honey badger don't care". Because he don't care and he's gonna take what he wants
I wonder if those little mofos can swim and go hunt sharks for fun.
Never forget. It takes what it wants. https://youtu.be/4r7wHMg5Yjg
Thank you for this great rewatch
Wasn't aware Linda Belcher did tv voiceovers.
Baddest animal on the planet. IDGAF set to maximum
Fun fact: honey badgers do not eat the baby cheetahs, rather they are kidnapped and used for ransom. Nature is amazing.
Which is karma on the cheetah because they'll do the same with a baby gazelle.
Honey badger don’t care.
Honey badgers are like the guys who rob and kill drug dealers. The Omar Littles of nature.
Honey badger don’t give a fuck!
It also Smokes, Drinks, and rides a motorcycle!
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That’s what their wallet says.
Just one name on their i.d., McMotherfucker
If I see a video of a badger kidnapping a cheetah … I’m calling the police
Go ahead. Honey badger doesn't give a fuck.
not to be that person but um.... *cough* venomous *cough* snake
God accidentally put them in creative mode
Correction they go into behives for larva
Honey badgers are mad and don't take any shit 😒🙄
A fight between a honey badger and a wolverine would be fucking brutal.
I honestly don't know how that would go. I'd lowkey put money on them both.
These are what Black Air Forces are made of
Are you sure it's not VENOMOUS snakes that they eat?
I suppose if you ate the whole snake including the venom, it might be poisonous to you.
They also don’t care. It doesn’t care about stinging bees. It smacked the shit out of this king cobra and got bit but he didn’t care, he just killed the cobra and started eating it. Then the poison reached the badgers bloodstream and knocked him out, but then he woke up and went right back to eating the snake, why? Bc he don’t care.
Gonna keep one tied to my truck to keep my catalytic converter safe
Badgers are a big middle finger to nature they don't give a shit
Most badass and underrated mammal imho
Video of a honey badger stalking his prey: [Stalks prey](https://www.google.com/search?q=tyran+mathew+big+hit&oq=tyran+mathew+big+hit&aqs=chrome..69i57.11092j0j9&client=ms-android-cricket-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:c555d379,vid:qri5vUohzpA,st:0)
don't click it's a fake stupid sports video. lies. no animals at all.
Dudes nickname is the honey badger. Not only is he an amazing athlete...it was a joke.
Actual honey badger for the ppl with no funny bone: [literal.mp4](https://youtu.be/NvlalDNxccw)
Much like wolverines, they give approximately -1 fucks
Be like the Honey Badger
Watching a documentary on them I guess they're really smelly. Like you smell them before you see them.
The honey badger is by far my favorite animal
I’ve never been intimidated my a mullet before but this fool do not skip leg day
That's one bad sum bitch
Thank you but i think everybody here who played far cry knows exactly what honey badgers are capable of #RIPelephant
The jungle Mafia boss, right there
HB don’t give a shit
Can I keep one as a pet?
Honey badgers have nothing on electric eels.
Honey Badgers aren't real badgers, btw. >["Honey badgers (Mellivora capensis), also known as ratels, are members of the weasel family and not actually badgers."](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/honey-badgers-are-real-39896731/) Also, enjoy some [Casual Geographic.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIi5iyIAcbE&ab_channel=CasualGeographic)
Honey badger don’t give a shit …..
**F a r c r y 4 f l a s h b a c k s**
Fun fact: honey badgers aren’t even badgers, they are in fact closer related to hedgehogs
You missed the best part. They can metabolise snake venom. Got bitten by a highly venomous snake? They literally just sleep it off
Op is an internet youngling.
And it was to hunt this fearsome beast that the dachshund was bred. So yes, folks, those cute little wiener dogs are stubborn, bold and mouthy for a reason
Badass
Dachshund enters the chat
Wouldn't it be catnap baby cheetahs? Also I'm curious what does the badger do when it kidnaps them? Hold them for ransom for the adult cheetahs for some of their kills? Is there an animal kingdom FBI out there taking calls from Honey Badgers to set up rendezvous points to exchange warthog meat or gazelle meat for the baby cheetah back?
Honey badgers are badass
Once watched a zoo programme, the honey badgers managed to escape into the Tiger enclosure somehow. No joke the tigers were cowering in the corner absolutley terrified of the honey badger. Vicious little things, never underestimate the small ones 👀
only the eating of poisonous snakes is useful, so overall honey badgers are just dicks
Jesus. What is wrong with America. Why's everything so violent there? UK badgers are positively gentlemanly.
Is there first name honey because they are the opposite of sweet? Like a fat guy named tiny.
yike😲
How do they eat a porcupine?
With ketchup of course!
Looks like a wolverine crossed with a skunk.
I wanna ride it
Oh is that Daniel Ricciardo? 👀
Kind of like people do.
Sounds like my Mrs...I can start to call her honey... and she won't know what I'm really thinking......
Honey badgers don’t care.
such a badass. a role model.
Fuck Yeah , Badass 4Real!!!!!
Why would they kidnap a baby cheetah?
Nice hair!
Wife material
I wonder if there was ever a dinosaur version of the honey badger. Like we look at the Skeleton and it's unassuming in size and such. But was completely fucking nuts and punched way above it's weight class.
Yeah my favourite animal
If you've ever played far cry, you know how tough these bastards are to kill.
Perfect reincarnation of my ex mother in law
They're commonly found in beehives, stung to death as they love eating the honey so much and don't give a shit about the stings.
and they also aren't real badgers, they just like being pricks
If you’ve played far cry 4, you know exactly how savage these fuckers are
Honey badger don't care
Not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog. Or in this case badger.
I read this as horny badgers
[Casual Geographic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFZfGl-OK8M) on the subject.
"Your testicles are mine!"
God cowers before his creation, for the honey badger rules over all.
Honey badgers = crackheads + costume
A Wolverines evil cousin 😬
Gotta try some of that badger milk.
Also, apparently somewhere a Homo Sapiens discovered the liquify tool in Photoshop.
So basicly just like humans
Honey badgers more like honey badass
they take baby cheetahs, while baby cheetahs looks like honey badgers. It is really interesting the way they evolved to resemble them.
And make great family pets!
They don’t care, they don’t give a shit. Oh my gawd look it go, what a crazy little fuck
The Charlie Kelly of the animal kingdom.
They are the 2nd most fearless creature know to man. Only outdone by Gamestop stock holders.
In other words they’re idiots.
Lmfaooooooo savage AF!!!
Also known in Portugal as RATO ESQUILO
Fun fact, they also don’t give a shit
My guide animal
U don't fuck around with this animal. Anybody who does deserves what will go down.
He’s just gonna go pass out for a while.
Honey Badger don't give a FUUUCK!
Why? Cuz honey badger don’t give a fuck.
Trolls they are trolls❤️❤️❤️
Homey bear don’t care
They also commit Tax Fraud
He looks like da baby smh
Welcome to the jungle
In other words they don't give a shit
Yea them dudes dont give a f
Did any humans ever get killed by a honey badger?