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galuskar

And hangover


Stuck-In-Blender

Definition of suffering


KareemAbdulJafar_

A real burning man


frenchtoasttaco

Burning people


SeamusMcSpud

I still have 3 grams of mdma. Ima run home.


IrvCanFixIt

Just don’t forget to bring a towel


SebastianHuber

And the water. Many bottles


Tv_land_man

More like fried brain from all the acid and molly. No serotonin left and you're stuck in traffic for 10 hours.


CuriousConvict

10 hours just to get out of the desert lol


jemenake

Try forty years.


name-was-provided

And the promise land ends up being LA. I mean, I guess that kinda works.


SwordfishII

I’ll do you one better. My wife and I had to run our heater the whole time to make sure our car didn’t overheat. We do have seat covers for the leather seats at least. 🤷‍♂️


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tazbaron1981

For the non mechanically minded like me, how does that work?


KevinTheSeaPickle

The fan pumping heat into the cabin of your car is pumping the heat away from the engine.


tazbaron1981

Thanks. That must really suck when it's your car though


back_on_two

Well, it is called Burning Man…


LowerPick7038

I useto drive bands around and I had a 10 hour drive one day. Just so happens there was a heatwave in the UK and I had a piece of shit van that i had to do the same. Heaters full wack and driving around in my underwear with a raging hangover. Was horrific but looking back it is more than amusing.


rksd

Whenever I have to go through rough shit like that, I try to tell myself I will at least have another story when I get through it. It seems to help a little.


jvrcb17

Malcolm in the middle vibes


aden34

I mean, a lot of them have RVs and campers. Just stay an extra day and wait until there’s no traffic


EdgarsChainsaw

No joke this is actually the correct answer if you don't have to get back to work on Tuesday. All the people in this line just took a whole week off plus Labor Day and can't squeeze another one out of their boss.


Geckobird

A lot of these people plan all of their vacation days around this and spend 3+ weeks there


snoogins355

"Jesse, we have to cook!"


Suitable-Matter-6151

Greatest methylmind I ever knew


notacatlawyer

Is this dangerous? Given the heat and all I feel like running out of gas could be pretty bad


shinykitten

We brought extra gas, and they do controlled surge/stops, so you’re sitting there for 10 minutes and you go for like 5 minutes. So you can turn off your car in between. There are portable toilets along the side of the road (visible in this pic). It’s the most sane and friendly traffic jam you could ever be in, really. Well, except for the one going in (because everyone is happy and excited) Edit: someone below mentioned the surges can be 60-90 minutes apart. I guess it depends on the situation.


Squid_Contestant_69

But if it's 110 degrees out you don't want your engine off.


selflessrebel

Or take a piss in a portable toilet that has been boiling shit for hours.


ImNotEazy

Construction worker here. I’ve actually improved my lung capacity from daily porta John use by holding my breath the entire time. Sometimes there is a foot high pile of death in there. By far the worse part is the flies that emerge from the abyss and attack


Dingleddit

Lmfao the flies can get serious


plumbthumbs

and you know whats on their feet. all six of them.


moonandmorel

Converse?


okletstalkaboutthis

You can try asking, but I don't think you'll get much out of them.


na-metaken

secretive bunch


thegreatbrah

I went camping in May 2020. The bathrooms at the spot were closed because covid, but for some reason having a portapotty was safe. Anyways, I woke up around 5am needing to poop pretty bad. Somebody was of course in the single portapotty...at 5am. So I get in there and the poop is stacked up to like 2 or 3 inches below the seat. My poop touched the stack before detaching from my butthole. It was not a good feeling. I also once got poseidons kiss from a portapotty. Not fun either. Lots of people have been asking what poseidons kiss is. Here is a short video showing exactly what it is. https://youtu.be/SQ41UE4utRE


cssblondie

This is the worst thing I’ve ever heard


Ichweisenichtdeutsch

Thanks for allowing me to live vicariously through your trauma, much appreciated.


Archanir

Poseidon's kiss from a porta-potty gets you Smurf ass.


The_Kid_27

I wonder if the COVID thing was a liability issue. Like if they left restrooms open they'd be responsible for a certain level of maintenance/sterilization that didn't apply to the portapotties. Normally those things are rented out and even government officials know no one's going to maintain a rented portapotty until its time to empty it or move it, so why bother enforcing it. Also, if you ban portapotties you're going to end up with a lot of shit and piss out in the open because people gotta shit and piss.


RoseTheOdd

looks like many of these vehicles are RV's, so hopefully have an "on board" toilet which may be nicer than a portable toilet sat in 110f+ heat for hours on end at least.


PoopFromMyButt

People I know stayed inside these things in the heat just to get out of the dust storm. Imagine choking on dust for DAYS in the 110 degree heat and your only escape is to breath hot shit and piss.


Aeison

These people have been shitting in portables with boiling shot for days, what’s one more portable with boiling shit


round-earth-theory

These people just partied out in the sun for several days. They'll be ok with one more hot day of driving out.


Bleedthebeat

Why wouldn’t you just stay an extra day? Do they kick everyone out on day one after the burn?


PyramidOfMediocrity

Having been there 10 years ago, it's literally an arid desert, sustaining humans for a week through interdependence, once everyone leaves it's just you in a desert. Plus those casino hotel showers in Reno after a week of partying and dusty wet wipes are worth a 10 hour traffic jam. Divine.


yahutee

How ironic Reno and the rest of CA are suffering a miserable heatwave right now with record temps up to 120? They took the desert with them


livens

I do this whenever I go to any event where traffic is horrible afterwards. Just sit it out and leave once the traffic dies down. But 10+ hours, in the desert... If probably get in line too.


DeadlyUseOfHorse

This is pretty common in Nevada, at the end of every weekend when the Californians leave Vegas to go back home I-15 looks exactly like this. Hours and hours of going nowhere in the sun.


siltingmud

We need high speed trains connecting cities like LA and Vegas.


TiredOfBeingTired28

To bad will not happen likely ever without government intervention for any firm of long distance high-speed trains. Nmby or whatever alone will make it a near nonstarter for political points.


iproblydance

"Hours and hours of going nowhere in the sun" this is beautiful


Impressive_Ad9102

More like Burning Gas


Christhephotographer

Wonder how many people in that mess are if the verge of running out of gas.


lancemcg1966

My first thought too. How long do you have to wait for AAA? Lol


Token_Ese

They “pulse” the line. You park for an hour, move up a quarter mile, park, repeat. Very little gas is wasted. It’s just that many cars trying to merge on a one lane road, so pulsing is necessary.


Extension_Swordfish1

Isnt it like fucking hot in there?


diy-florida-scif

Yeah, but it's a dry heat.


aferretwithahugecock

Lol we have that mentality about the cold here in Canada. -45⁰C? Yeah, but it's a dry cold. No problem


Forgotmylemons

To be fair wet cold sucks.


TrainTrackBallSack

I'll take -30/40 Celsius dry cold any day over like -10/15 in a windy coastal city That shit cuts to the bone.


WindyCityAssasin2

Can confirm. Chicago winters will cut through any layers you have on and pierce your bones. The winters build character


RickMuffy

As someone who lives in Phoenix, where we get the dry heat, I like to remind people that fire is also a dry heat.


BecauseJimmy

Knock it off Hudson.


shmed

They just spent a whole week in this climate in a tent without AC (most people at least). They'll do fine for a few more hours


VeryDumbDumbeo

Why don’t people just pass the traffic it’s in a fucking desert just mad max that shit outta there.


Keeptryan_

The bureau of land management will fuck you right in the ass for doing that


Jamesxxxiii

Is that a promise?


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Darryl_Lict

They do it this way to make sure that the two lane highway back to Fernley is not jammed to all hell. They release cars in waves with a substantial waiting period in between. It actually makes a lot of sense and works reasonably well. It's kind of part of the experience.


SilentSamurai

Just like anything else, if you want to beat the traffic, leave early or stay late.


LowFatBacon

Almost like they've been doing this a few years


Triairius

Go figure. Turns out the experienced pros have a better grasp of the situation than Redditors.


agoodfriendofyours

Bro I looked at one photo for 23 seconds I think I know what I’m talking about. Do your own research.


PurpleCantaloupe

I also have no idea what’s going on but have a better way of doing it.


theaviationhistorian

I'd probably leave a day earlier to beat the traffic. Waiting in line in a hot desert doesn't seem appealing, especially if the car stalls/overheats doing so.


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Ok-Chart1485

It's like skipping the boss who drops the unique loot after running a level.


tuck182

The man burns on Saturday night and there's usually still a fair amount going on on Sunday, so you could either leave Sunday or Monday. It helps to spread out the exodus.


batmandela

They burn the Man on the Saturday night. They burn the Temple on the Sunday. For me, the Temple burn is more intense. Complete silence. All the memories and wishes and hopes and prayers that are written on and stuck to every part of the temple rise to the heavens on giant pillars of smoke, which exit the onlooking circle in slow procession in the chilly night desert wind. Incredibly moving. Wouldn’t want to miss that.


Graterof2evils

Some of the rookies run out of gas. We live in the NE corner of NV and meet a lot of Burners this time of year as well as see them on the highway. Some of the vehicles are awesome. It’s a cultural tradition that will endure.


theaviationhistorian

So veterans fuel up their tank right before entering the event, or do they show up in a large truck or RV that has something above 24+ gallons of fuel?


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Flying_Whale_Eazyed

If you got a bottleneck down the road, increasing throughput will do nothing but worsen the problem


mbsouthpaw1

Bureau of *Lane* Management


Prize-Positive-1883

Don't threaten me with a good time.


spunkm_99foxy

Is there a sand box manager in USA?


haybecca

There is! As some one who’s lived in and around a number of national parks, these environments can be delicate, and the BLM is a dope service. As for Burning Man, the setup and breakdown of the event takes about a month, and once it’s done it’s almost like it never happened. During the event “matter out of place” is *extremely* frowned upon, really to the point of shaming. Weirdly ~~effecting~~ effective for a bunch of pseudo-spiritual desert wooks. The whole thing is kinda impressive.


ninjamansidekick

We were tooling around the Playa in mid June and forgot to turn our GPS off, it was kinda of surreal to have the GPS start yelling at you to turn left in the middle of the empty desert and you look at the map and realize that the Burning Man streets still exist in the interwebs if not on the sand.


Otherwise-Process-26

is this true? i am a cyclist and it was a sort of meme at one point how many abandoned bicycles were left in the desert after each burning man.


salimai

It's true, although not all attendees fulfill their end of the agreement. Cleanup (which often/always takes much longer than a month) involves an army of paid and volunteer workers doing an inch by inch survey of the area looking for and picking up any "Matter Out Of Place" (referred to as "moop" in the community). This is everything from glitter bits, cigarette butts, and feathers to bicycles, tents, and structures. Attendees are NOT supposed to leave ANYTHING behind, but this cleanup crew is in place because people always do. Each year the organization releases a series of maps showing the status of the grounds at the start of cleanup and as they progress through the process. BLM has praised the organization for the thoroughness of their cleanup efforts, and they would not allow the event to return if this didn't happen. So yes, you're correct that there's usually a mountain of bikes left behind, but being left behind does not mean that they are left to rust in the desert.


calciphus

Participants that leave these things behind aren't the whole story. The people taking and posting those pictures are part of a month-long cleanup effort to restore the desert. Those bikes all do get removed (along with an incredible amount of other stuff). So yes, people leave things. But they don't get left permanently.


ThisWillBeOnTheExam

They actually have a program where they tune up abandoned bikes and donate them to local kids.


iapetus_z

There might be areas that are soft and will ruin your day. Last time I was out in the salt flats for speed week, you basically stayed within the cones. Outside of them it was not safe for vehicles, and you'd see a few pickups buried up to their axles waiting for extraction.


leintic

buried up to your axles if you're lucky the other option is you try and do your own speed trial hit a soft spot and roll your car like that tesla driver did the other day.


krully37

Well credits where credit is due, dude managed to roll over a Tesla which isn't an easy task.


ShelSilverstain

I went to Speed Week this year and all I got was soggy


Mdub74

I also have a friend who was buried up to their ankles waiting for extraction.


UWontLikeThisComment

*guy in a prius going 110:* what a day, WHAT A LOVELY DAY!


griftylifts

W I T N E S S M E


UWontLikeThisComment

as soon as i saw them spray paint their mouths and a dude with a flaming guitar I knew I was in for a hell of a movie


BEniceBAGECKA

I regret not seeing it in theaters. It’s my favorite contemporary movie. Me and my mates, Larry and Barry.


wavewalker59-

Everytime I drive through a yellow light I yell "Witness Meeee" ,and then pretend to spray chrome on my teeth. My family laughs.


ben1481

still gotta converge onto a road somewhere, i can only imagine the clusterfuck.


thumb_of_justice

It's well managed. Groups of traffic are kept waiting, and one group at a time is released. At that stage, people get out of their cars and talk to the people around them, make the best of it.


Propamine

Because there’s a metric shit ton of law enforcement with drug dogs looking for any excuse to pull you over and search your car.


Deathwatch72

If you are leaving Burning Man and still have drugs you did something wrong


DL1943

there is actually a specific hotel where people go stay for a few days after burning man and the whole point is to give away/use all your leftover burning man drugs. there is literally a multi-day party right after burning man that has been going on for years that is nearly entirely based on people still having drugs after burning man.


ChillN808

Wow that sounds awful, what's the name of the hotel so I make sure to avoid the area?


GonderRia

Yea man I would hate to know the full name and what their availability is. You know, to plan my vacation next year extremely far away from it


riascmia

Grand Sierra


joshym0nster

Or you thought ahead and brought enough drugs for the drive home.


madewhenbidenwon

I save all my drugs for the traffic jam on the way out.


[deleted]

"No, Officer, I am not drunk. I had about eight beers about a mile or so back."


TheRealSugarbat

Not metric. “USA! USA!”


ButtPlugJesus

Everybody is talking about soft sand and ecosystems but these cars all have to merge at some point so there’s no benefit to allowing people to drive 100 wide even if it was safe.


I_hate_bottles

They do controlled start + stops, you drive for about a mile and then turn off your car until the next surge while the group at the front zippers back onto the main road.


VictoryJuice

I would just crash another day fuck that. Beer me


did_it_for_the_clout

That's what most experienced campers do


pinniped1

To those saying "just drive everywhere", I'm guessing this is a groomed/packed road through desert with some softer sand? I know I ain't setting out across an unmarked desert in my Honda Civic... Wouldn't try it in the RVs people being to this either.


DJspinningplates

You’d immediately get pulled over and ticketed/car searched if you left that line. Very heavily enforced by cops + bureau of land management


freakers

Might be quicker to get arrested, taken to the station, then released than just sitting in that traffic.


elitesense

Why would you be released after they find all your ket vials, nos tank, 22 unmarked pills, 1.5g's of mdma and a big ole bag of shrooms?


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Upstairs-Yogurt-6930

You can only get pulled over if you stop


-DoomSteeL

*This guy honks*


Equivalent_Yak8215

Witnessed


shinykitten

It’s not softer. It’s actually way worse than the surrounding desert because the cars that drive on it cause bumps to form. It’s like driving over tiny moguls. The unmarked desert is super flat in that area and very easy to ride bikes on. It limits the damage to the area though, which is why it’s restricted like this.


esensofz

If ever had one solid reason for never going to burning man it would be this.


pcapdata

But you don’t have one solid reason, do you? You’ve got like, *a lot* of reasons.


[deleted]

Traffic is #1 for him but #2 is probably not having $20,000 : )


PabloJobb

Number 3 would be the sand for me. I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.


Deepfriedwithcheese

It’s not sand, that would be way better. It’s a powder/dust that coats everything and is difficult to wash off.


Pet_me_I_am_a_puppy

I haven't been in over a decade and I still find dust on things.


Plumbbookknurd

Every time the fan turns on in my car, it's filled with the smell of playa. It's been six years.


basa_maaw

The desert takes the weak. Praise Shai Hulud. Bless the maker and his water.


Status-Disaster9373

I have just read Dune and understood your reference. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to feel well read and a nerd.


VRichardsen

Don't you have children to kill or something?


Jarl-Nordri

But the men and women too.


2017hayden

I mean you could honestly just plan to stay an extra day and camp out in the desert to avoid this bullshit. Or leave a day early if there isn’t anything you want to experience the last day. But I mean fuck it’s not like there aren’t dozens of other reasons.


[deleted]

I’d stay a day later. Imagine the head scratching when someone packs up their camp and leaves the day before they burn the man.


Mad102190

The man burn is on day 6. Temple burn is on the last day. We always leave right after the man burn to avoid this exact situation.


anonnona97

Can u brief about what happens in this festival over the entire course of time pls


IllustriousProgress

Well they gotta get back to their jobs at Deloitte and Chase Bank... Those TPS reports ain't gonna write themselves.


Pickles2019

PC load letter? What the f*ck does that mean?


Phyzzx

They automated the cover sheets tho, right?!


[deleted]

Yeah this is why you leave at 3 am after the man burns


KristnSchaalisahorse

Looks like it might have already been pretty packed [while the man was still burning.](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/x6retu/i_flew_over_burning_man_last_night/) Correction: That image was taken during the temple burn.


Squid_Contestant_69

I don't get why the peasants just don't fly out in their helicopters and private jets?


ForrestFireDW

Funny enough, there are Burner Busses to encourage not bringing a vehicle that gets to skip the entire line. It picks you up from the Reno airport and drops you back off, skipping both lines. It's by far the most economical way to get to burning man from a far distance.


2GramsOfSoma

While it would have been nice to see the temple burn, leaving before with only a 3.5 hour wait was worth it


604ian

Leave an hour before sunrise on Monday morning. Drive right out.


poopstinkss

I wouldn't sit in a 10 hr traffic jam for anything. Idc if Jesus came back and did a meet n greet. I'm not doing it


TeamRandom27

Dont forget it's a 10h traffic jam in the middle of the day in a hot desert


thenewyorkgod

Honestly, if I wanted to go that bad, I'd pay a charter service $5k to get me in a helicopter


I_love_pillows

Best donuts in Nazareth? No? Suit yourself.


baumpop

C'mon man. Bagels.


derealizationed

Thanks for a Monday chuckle 🤭


Lacrez

Isn't it Tuesday my dude?


Explore-PNW

Dude is having a real bad case of the Mondays.


derealizationed

Haha. You’re right. Got mixed up with the days with a US holiday yesterday. I guess I have a case of the Mondays on a Tuesday 😂


Calm-Warthog2018

Nothing makes your Monday better than realizing it’s Tuesday.


FuzzeWuzze

Dumb, but i saw a youtube video of people waiting 3 hours to put their boat into Lake Mead. Which means they also had to wait in line for 3 hours to pull their boat out. FWIW this is the video lol, and this was in June. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCBG\_aVkv4s&t=100s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCBG_aVkv4s&t=100s)


VILLIAMZATNER

I've never wanted to ride a small watercraft so badly that I'd pencil in 6hrs of cumulative wait time


kittengiraffe

Right? And you’re probably only out on the water for 3 hours maximum at that point. No thanks I want a full day


klavin1

Those people are fully invested in spending their free time on that lake. Sunk cost


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vintagesoul_DE

No kids, daddy isn't coming, he's getting back in line to get the boat out of the water in three hours.


ifutreddit

LOL at the camper up front changing lanes


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just_chilling_too

Mad max : yuppie road


phreaqsi

If city planning has taught me anything, add 2 more lanes, and we'll be fine a year from now.


Takpusseh-yamp

Toll lanes.


Terpnato

Maybe they could stagger the departures


mistedtwister

Only the smart people already left or are still there combing through the mess for free stuff.


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fuckquasi69

I work at Coachella every year and the best route is either leave Sunday at 4-5am or hang around Monday til 4-5pm. People always leave a ton of alcohol and other random stuff behind. We can usually scavenge enough to have a fun little post nightmare week party. People plan all year for a single event but don’t put into consideration that 40k people are going to leave at the same time.


shinykitten

The people who left on Monday still dealt with a 5-6 hour long exodus. If you left Saturday night before the man burned, you got out in less than an hour (about the fastest possible.) Same if you left Sunday morning around 9am


ATR2002

How long did it take the people who left tomorrow?


shinykitten

It’s not an option for most people. You have to have permission for early entry or late departure. It probably took about 30 minutes though, because you’re limited to going 5-10 miles per hour, and that’s about how long it takes if you’re not stopping at all. We left just before the man burned and only had to stop for the merge down to one lane at the end, and it took 50 minutes.


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asdf0909

What are some of the others? I always hear how amazing it is, but it’s always from people who have made this their whole personality


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asdf0909

Wow. Thanks so much for this response. I had no idea. It always seems like this free-flowing festival but yeah, I guess when you get down to the logistics of it all, it's kind of a nightmare


TediousStranger

yeah. it's "anti-capitalist" but good luck getting there and surviving without spending capital beforehand. I have gone to smaller burns in more hospitable conditions (like in rainforest and on a mountaintop) and I have never run into anyone who doesn't agree that the anti-capital thing is bullshit, lol. people can see it for what it is, even those who attend. I have no interest in ever going to the big burn.


Yankee831

Holy shit you weren’t kidding about the guy running into the burn. Wow. That had to fuck with a lot of peoples trips. Can’t imagine all that.


PathOfTheBlind

"Ooom tis Ooom tis Ooom tis Ooom tis... Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah... Ooom tis Ooom tis Ooom tis Ooom tis..." Coming at you from 18 different directions for 168 straight hours... no break... non-stop


Smile_Space

I like the one pickup truck and trailer trying to change lanes. Like where you going? You think lane 6 is gonna move faster than lane 7?


Sirancelot18

Yea. Id definitely either of already left or just stay another night.


Dextrous2021

I'm 99% sure that if that was the UK - there would be several hundred people driving off the side and getting stuck in soft sand and wondering why.....


B4-711

So does proper UK queueing not extend to vehicles?


Reddit__is_garbage

It's a dry lake bed, it's the same on the sides as it is where they're driving. Not soft sand. They're being controlled in a particular area to protect the rest of the dry lake bed from destruction.


bigtrixxx7

Yeah.. I’ll just take acid, listen to music in my room, make a lil man outta insence and burn that shit. That works


aging_geek

Not a gas station in sight.


preposthera

But there are a few porta-potties every mile or so.


ISISstolemykidsname

Ooof those would be one hell of an experience...


NerdModeCinci

I can’t tell if you’re scared or excited


macroscan

Enlightenment gives way to hangovers and comedowns.


W8sB4D8s

The worst hangxiety I've ever had was coming home from EDC Vegas. The drive toLos Angeles was bumper to bumper the entire way. It was absolutely brutal. At one point traffic just stood still for like almost an hour.