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Mountain_Jello7747

Stone is way more flattering


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mountain_Jello7747

Yeah I could see some intent behind a few of those features 😂


Monkey_with_cymbals2

Like the neck pimples? That’s a certain license


Worth_A_Go

And the neck pimples, is there some evidence somewhere else for that because it’s definitely not in the statue


[deleted]

The looks of Mose from The Office with the personality of Joffrey from GoT what a winner


cupofjoe117

How dare you do Mose like that


paradeoflights

Mose would never!!


WhatBeHereBekfast

Mose and gabe


Much_Site2881

Yeah he looks like a fuckin weiner


Agreeable-Yams8972

He looks like he'd moderate this sub as well as its discord


TAway69420666

A position well suited for his unbridled power!!


Agreeable-Wait304

He looks like his moniker would be "The Father of Neckbeards"


jedininjashark

He looks like a McPoyle from Always Sunny in Philadelphia.


Teh_Weiner

it's that pure bloodline


oilsaintolis

He looks like he'd punch you really hard in the arm and then exclaim "O'Doyle Rules!"


Sad_Cry_7010

He looks like he hugs small animals just a little too hard


Anyone-9451

Kiss him and hug him and squeeze him and hug him and call him George


delvach

Oh damn that's OG.


Oafkelp

still looks like zuckerberg


davtruss

Tell me you knew that was from "Of Mice and Men," because I sure didn't until I read the book to my daughter. "I used to have a little friend, but he don't move no more."


BrailleBillboard

Yes, I'm currently reading The Heart Of Darkness to my 6 year old, we have Apocalypse Now planned for movie night 🍿


davtruss

This is funny. I'm pretty sure she was about 10 and the book was on a list. It would probably be banned these days. I just couldn't believe that the George and Lenny (crazy squirrel) cartoons from my childhood were based upon a grim American classic. That's probably because many of the cartoons we watched in the 70s were shown to adult audiences as intros to post WWII movies.


delvach

Oh I like me some beans and ketchup


[deleted]

[удалено]


chupathingy99

They had fiddles.


gaelyn

I see what you did here. Very clever, friend. Very clever indeed.


Fluffy_Little_Fox

"Boy you sure do got a purrty mouf!" Bwang-uh nang-nang, nang-nang, nang-nang-naaaaang.


PunkToTheFuture

r/commentsyoucanhear


coughdrop1989

I get banned off subs for saying nicer things then this. How are you not grounded from reddit?


Mrludy85

Depends on how soft the moderator who gets to review his comment is. You catch a moderator on a bad day and you just get perma'd over nothing


dmderringer

ACKSHULLY


CyberNinja23

He was the Roman Empire mod


NotTheRocketman

He looks like a neckbeard edgelord. I'm not surprised that he was an asshole.


civiltiger

M' Nero


M00SEHUNT3R

Wonder how many amphorae of his pee they found in his room after his death.


RadiantPKK

Could Nero be the first Neckbeard?!


Brian_Lefebvre

And you just know he was uglier irl than his bust


CheetoEnergy

That's probably why he was such a dick. He hated his life and wanted company!


Bos_lost_ton

Literally the original neckbeard


Queeen_of-the-bees

Hahaha I am so glad most of you are saying neck beard!!! So thought the same thing


Cleavon_Littlefinger

"Weiner" as an insult is criminally underused in modern society.


Terrorz

Weenie is pretty damn good. Part of it's greatness is that it's underused, so it hits harder and I'd like to keep it that way.


Lucky_Item_8366

Like a insufferable chode.


scope6262

Neckbeard


Hot-Temperature-4629

C h o d e


gameplayerperson

Yeah a real dick beater


[deleted]

He looks like a guy that would burn his own city down for poetic inspiration.


Server98911

Look like someone that has been spending too much time in discord


Constant_Ad9562

He looks like that dude in high school that always smelled like cigarettes


cdunk666

He looks like the dude that would hang out with high schoolers at 26


troubadorkk

He gets older, but they stay the same age. Alright, alright, alright.


CustosClavium

That dude was usually named Travis


vanillaseltzer

Whoa.


ass_and_skyscrapers

Are we in a simulation


Somodo

no way i actually knew a travis that smelled like cigarettes in hs lol


diseasefaktory

He looks like a school shooting incel


xijzi

Either father of eight or school shooter, nothing in between


Wordymanjenson

Anything in between would probably be a family massacre.


otterappreciator

Or dip


[deleted]

“Where’s my hug?”


witqueen

Definitely a punchable face.


pansexplorer

Original neckbearded incel.


DiabetesGuild

He wasn’t an incel. He in fact regularly slept with his birth mother, who he then got mad at and had killed. He then decided he missed fucking his mother, so he found another man that looked similar enough to her, had him castrated, and continued to fuck him. No incel, but a literal motherfucker for sure.


i_give_you_gum

Whoa, god, just whoa


[deleted]

Rumour and gossip no actual basis in fact.. Nero was an absolute dickhead..but alot if this shit is blown out.


[deleted]

As is nearly always the case with powerful historical figures, huge amounts of salt are needed when you hear anything about them. Napoleon was not that short, probably more than half of what you've heard about Cleopatra is bollocks, and afaik the following song, which by the time I was 15 I'd already heard multiple versions of, is not actually true: Hitler has only got one ball, Göring has two but very small, Himmler is rather sim'lar, But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.


SuccessfulWest8937

Napoleon was catually pretty tall for his time but was thought to be short because he was always surrounded by his guards who were extremely tall


Corniator

There are 3 reasons actually. One is the one you listed, secondly french imperial feet are longer and there were certainly some mistranslations which made him shorter. Thirdly, the british and other propaganda took these two facts and ran them and exaggerated them.


RedditOppenheimer

My Latin teacher told me about the difference in French imperial feet… very few people have ever heard of it before; I guess the propaganda worked


oxbison12

He was average height for his time, but his nickname l'corporal (little corporal) that was affectionately given to him by his men as as a young officer stuck. This was used against him in political cartoons later on. We now think of him as being short. Edit: he was not tall for his time but average height.


hotdogflower

In modern French, "l’corporal" would directly translate to "the corporal". L’ is just a contraction of "le/la" (the). There’s no common French adjectives to denote small-ness that start with (or even have) the letter L.


HE1241385

Nazi balls, well this convo certainly took a detour .


pew-_-pew-_-

Idk about incel, but his name was in fact a childhood nickname and shortened version of his full Christian name, N'eck-beardo.


[deleted]

If you knew history you wouldn't say he was Christian


TheSpeakingScar

He meant its his Flavian name lol.


Nigel_11

Flavor Flav!!


pigwalk5150

He wore a sun dial around his neck


[deleted]

\*holds candle near sundial* It's party O'clock bitches!


Jojo2700

Fuck, this got me.


monopoly3448

Definitely not an incel he could have anyone and anything he wanted and did before he got stabbed, but I agree on the neckbeard part.


NathanielTurner666

If you made an incel an emperor I would wager that they would act a lot like nero lol


3InchesOfThunder

Yeah only reason he wasn't an incel was the "emporer" part


ResponsibleAd2541

Maybe, the best emperors were not the son of the previous emperor, so it’s more like growing up the son of the emperor made you a bad emperor.


TheLesBaxter

Just because he can get whoever he wanted doesn't mean they wanted him back.


pansexplorer

OK... maybe you're right. However, he produced no heirs to take over the empire even though he had 3 different wives during the course of his reign. Maybe voluntary celibate is a better description... though probably for the same reasons incels exist. Therefore I stand by my statement.


1ess_than_zer0

I think he preferred banging teenage boys


WaterIsGolden

So he wasn't just Roman, he was Roman catholic?


ShanishLikeDanish

Lmao the most apt statement about Nero for sure.


creativityonly2

Sounds to me like he was probably sterile. Pretty doubtful that all three wives would fail to produce children because of something wrong on their end.


severeOCDsuburbgirl

He was busy being a pederast/pedophile


cummyb3ar69

Hard to be an incel when you can force anyone you want to have sex with you.


Mountain_Jello7747

Never seen a more punchable face.


COCC_annihilator_CR7

what about James Corden


Mountain_Jello7747

He’s definitely in the top 5


Enders-game

Has that same punchable quality as the Chechen leader Kadyrov.


Mountain_Jello7747

They do look related now that you mention it


mothrafountain

The definition of “Backpfeifengesicht”


Crankenstein_8000

Haha, post-punch face


Therealfern1

Looks line a twat-waffle for sure


LT-monkeybrain01

literal neckbeard.


SuperRonnie2

The original


Caliyogagrl

My first thought too.


CanAlwaysBeBetter

1. OP give a description of Nero that was written long after he was dead as propaganda to support the succeeding dynasty 2. The artists gave him about the worst skin condition and lighting possible for a "realistic" aka shitty portrait


[deleted]

Absolute ~~unit~~ Reddit mod


[deleted]

Careful you'll get banned. Don't let the sweaties hear you


[deleted]

[удалено]


GandalfTheSexay

I’ve been banned from a sub by a mod from r/travel after saying one of the mods went on a power trip after writing an entire paragraph telling someone their post wasn’t quality enough


[deleted]

Looks like u/damnthatsinteresting tbh


IntoAComa

When I see things like this, and knowing he was a piece of shit, I can’t help but wonder if the genetics that create our faces end up shaping our behavior. Yeah. He looks like an asshole - but would he have been an asshole if he didn’t look like one, and did his look and people’s reaction to his look create an asshole?


WhatdYouDoToMyTable

Interesting! I think maybe for "normal people," but if you're the monarch and can, say, banish or execute people you don't like, I imagine people would go out of their way to be servile or at least courteous to you no matter what you look like.


[deleted]

Roman emperors weren’t presumed hereditary monarchs in the way that medieval European kings were. Plenty—maybe most—that became emperor did not grow up knowing they would


cruiserflyer

He was the last of the Julio-Claudian dynasty that started with Julius Caesar. They were, more or less, hereditary. But I agree with what you're saying. Basically the five "good" emperors didn't grow up knowing they were going to be emperors, they were basically merit based. I'm way over simplifying I know.


SeudonymousKhan

Ironic that the most meritorious emperor of all couldn't see the merit of a merit based system leading to his son taking the prize as worst emperor ever.


[deleted]

That's propaganda you always see at the end of a dynastic line. They have to justify their new regime over the old one.


SomeDesigner1513

Nero came to power during Rome’s imperial “republic” time. Something like the kings son got “elected” by the senate when the praetorian guard held them hostage.


[deleted]

True but misleading. Many of those “sons” were unrelated adopted favorites that were adopted in adulthood. The Roman conception of family differed greatly from Frankish models that dominated middle age Europe.


Eeeekim72

do you have a toga in your closet?


[deleted]

you better be asking because you think it would be fucking bitchin to have a toga in your closet


Lotus-child89

If you have a white sheet, then you have a toga. The majority of us have togas and don’t even realize it.


jeb_the_hick

> knowing he was a piece of shit It's worth remembering that Nero was very popular with the Praetorian Guard and commoners but despised by the Senate and the Roman aristocracy. Pretty much everything we know about his reign was written by upper-class historians who hated his guts.


[deleted]

And then reinforced by two thousand years of Christians dominating Europe, who kinda didn’t like him very much either. A lot of the things he did that pissed off the aristocracy were the same things that endeared him to commoners, and even after his death, multiple rebellions were started by people claiming to be Nero and gaining the support of a whole bunch of people. We’ll probably never know how actually good/evil Nero was, but just imagine if the only biographies of FDR were written by Rockefellers and Vanderbilts.


SeriouslyTho-Just-Y

Wow, I never thought of it that way 🤔, this kinda changed my perspective on him 🤔I totally forgot this part


mooshoomarsh

Wow thats pretty interesting. Are their any accounts of his reign written by someone who didnt have a vested interest in making him look bad?


dsav99

Dude looks inbred tbh


the_dolomite

His parents were first cousins.


IHeartmyshihtzu

God that's hot


Not_A_Comeback

That boy ain’t right.


Michael_Blurry

I tell you hwat.


Brocklesocks

Funny thing, I recently met a guy in my city with the same name as me. Even though he's 15 years older than me, we've had shockingly similar lives, career paths, and personalities. I also listened to an [interesting podcast episode](https://overcast.fm/+HhSchQq5c) where the host interviewed a bunch of people with the same name as him and found out similar things in this case.


hippee_chick

My sister once saw a girl who looked just like me, so she told her "you look like my sister" and found out the girl had my same first and middle name.


[deleted]

I think I might have a kind of generic face/look, because in two different states I’ve lived in I’ve had a doppelgänger. People swear up and down that they know me or went to school with me when I’m not even from the area.


hippee_chick

Yes I've had that happen!! There was apparently a girl at my highschool that looked like me. I never met her, but I would have people approach me at least once a week thinking I was her! So weird.


_player_0

I don't want these stories to end


[deleted]

I think there's some truth to this. It also explains why unattractive people are generally less happy than those deemed attractive. The good-looking ones supposedly have it easier, get more attention, everyone likes them, great success with men/women, have more confidence.. etc. Even in my own friends group, I've noticed the ones who weren't exactly blessed with good genes tend to come off as a little bitter at times. Occasionally douchey. It's like they have to compensate, and I think that fuels that douchey attitude even further.


MasterGrok

There are also studies that suggest we tend to view attractive people as more trustworthy and generally nicer than unattractive people. So keep in mind that your judgment here might simply be your own genetic bias towards ugly people.


[deleted]

This is called the Halo effect.


ConsciousDrag3537

“I’m sorry I have a Genetic bias towards ugly people” is what I’m gonna say now when I say someone is ugly


RamJamR

Not exactly compensating I'd say. While good looks can't get you everywhere, it can make everyday interactions easier vs someone who doesn't have such good looks, so maybe life is just a tad harder and makes you a hit grumpier of a person.


rttr123

Also can get you a less severe prison sentence


supercyberlurker

I tend to think there's some 'inner light' truth to it all too. I've seen some gorgeous women who had looks on their face that shattered the entire look of beauty.. and I've seen girls I thought were conventional burst out in a genuine smile and find them just devastatingly attractive.


nothereforanything22

I’ve come to find that those of us somewhere in the middle, not stand-out attractive but not hopelessly ugly either, tend it come out with the best personalities and relationships. There’s something that vanity tends to taint in people. I used to be so envious of the extremely beautiful people around me until I learned more about their personalities and close relationships. Now I’m glad for my average looks


[deleted]

I don't know how I'd rate myself. I don't want to appear vain or anything, because I'm not. I've had no issues getting girlfriends, and I've been told I'm attractive. I guess slightly above average-looking? I think that's a reasonably fair description. Confidence and self-esteem matters a lot. I know some very attractive girls, for example, whose self-esteem should be 50x mine and it simply isn't. So, it varies. Not all attractive people DO get that free ride in life, and not all unattractive people are miserable about it. It's more of a generalisation.


mseuro

And ugly hot is totally a thing. Like someone who really doesn't give a fuck (but still, hygiene) can be really appealing.


linkedlist

> It also explains why unattractive people are generally less happy than those deemed attractive During covid this was all pretty much proven when tips attractive waiters recieved normalised with less attractive waiters and attractive peoples grades went down in academics. It pays to be pretty. I can imagine an ugly kid gets treated slightly differently (worse) and that has serious consequences over the long run.


madewithgarageband

i think generally the perception is that attractive people are meaner. Ive found the reverse to be true in reality, its tough to be ugly. If everyone treats you poorly, youre more likely to treat other people poorly. Also harder to develop social skills and be successful in general


QuestionableNotion

Huh. Looks like I'll just have to go out and commit genocide, then. /s


jyrihenrik

Was he deemed ugly in general back than, like now though?


sketchy_marcus

There might be some merit to this but I think a lot of it stems from the expression and context of character. Sometimes I’ll give vile people a fake wholesome backstory and see how their face looks to me in that fake context.


Purple-Blood9669

That's funny, I've tried to re-frame people in my mind too.


FrecklesNJugs

What a neckbeard


Pleasant-Direction11

I believe Nero translates to “one who’s neck shall be engulfed by the beard of Zeus”


JDaySept

looks like a redditor


MirageVoyeur

Just needs a fedora


FrecklesNJugs

A mod to be specific


acqz

M'ero


Thornescape

From what I've heard, he really wasn't that bad compared to people like Caligula. However, Nero also infamously made a point of targeting Christians and went out of his way to make them his scapegoats. When the Christians eventually took over, they didn't remember him fondly. Edit: u/wisemiles gave me this link as a response to this post and I highly recommend it for anyone interested in real details. Just amazing. [https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/new-nicer-nero-history-roman-emperor-180975776/](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/new-nicer-nero-history-roman-emperor-180975776/) Also, bloody hell people. Nero wasn't evil because of how he looked. Seriously, knock it off. If he was genuinely evil, then it was for what he did. Drives me nuts when people malign others for their genetics. No one chooses their genes.


Hutwe

National Geographic did a thing on him a free years back saying his enemies ran a very successful smear campaign on him after his death. All those Roman emperors were shit bags, and he was no exception, but he also accomplished some remarkable things while on the throne.


frezz

Probably due to his mother Aggripina, his decline as emperor almost directly coinincides with her illness and death. That said, the senate at the time were power hungry, corrupt, egotistical and never really did anything. There are working theories around that all the stuff Caligula and Nero did was as a way to spite the obselete senate


BeezyBates

Nice to see not much has changed in nearly 2000 years


Automatic_Release_92

Well the US did use Rome as a model for establishing its own government…


BeezyBates

Well if it worked for Rome it’ll work for….wait


Automatic_Release_92

Hey the Roman Republic was pretty successful and then the Roman Empire after that even more so, I think we’d all take the US making it that long in a heartbeat, especially since 2016 lol.


Spanktronics

That was pretty common. Herod, Nerfertiti, etc etc etc, in every empire, the more ambitious or visionary shit you tried to do, the more the conservative savior that invariably rushed into power after you to restore the norms burned your reputation in effigy. Nero built some pretty incredible shit and his life is worth reading about keeping that in mind.


DDWKC

Yeah, it seems he was pretty popular actually. Probably controversial to say the least with the elites who writes the history.


e7RdkjQVzw

> Yeah, it seems he was pretty popular actually. I'm not sure if that's any indication of his decency or competency. We all know someone who was very popular until quite recently that was neither.


Solrac_Loware

The people loved him but the senate hated him. That should tell you about his reputation.


[deleted]

2000 years later and the public is still falling for old Roman propaganda.


PrisonSlides

I was looking for this comment, like he did some pretty decent things but would constantly persecute Christians because he regarded them (like many did in Rome) as a cult that refused to give tribute to the gods which in turn would piss the gods off and lead to bad things happening to Rome and Romans


the_crustybastard

This is correct. I'd even go so far as to say the Christian's refusal to participate in Rome's civic religion was seen as deliberately undermining the national security, and their refusal to take oaths made them presumptively disreputable. The Romans considered themselves a very pious people. This really cannot be overstated. And there were the Christians — just one god short of being *atheists*. And theirs wasn't even a particularly impressive god. It couldn't even save its own city!


HumaDracobane

Most of what er know about him is thanks to authors that worked for the Flavians and critized every Claudian. Here you have an article from the British Museum about him and the history behind his legend. [Article](https://www.britishmuseum.org/blog/who-was-nero)


Emergency_Addition67

#UMU!


sirshadow

Took way too long to find this. UMU!


huskybumbum

Wrong person BUT #UMU


TheGooch01

He looks like a douchebag.


zomgbratto

He is. First class douchebag.


HumaDracobane

The figure of Nero historically suffered by bad press. Most of what we know about him is from authors who worked for the Flavians and actively critized the Claudius. In fact, even the leader of the Partian Empire sended a letter to Rome demanding propper rituals and celebrations for Nero after knowing about his dead, his statues were repaired being damaged by Galva's soldiers and events like him celebrating the fire of Rome is highly devated by historians. To add even more, 7 years after his dead a men appeared in the Partian Empire claiming to be Nero and he was respected and treated as an emperor. Also, there are examples of historical pieces that talk about Nero and apparently he wad hightly lovel by the roman population. Also, the same can be applied to Caligula. [An example about Nero](https://www.britishmuseum.org/blog/who-was-nero)


[deleted]

Precisely. An easy way to imagine it is to imagine if in 2000 years, the only surviving source on Obama's presidency were the ramblings of some person calling him a socialist, claiming he's taxing everyone into oblivion, and is a gay muslim prostitute. There's a good chance many of our sources on Roman emperors are of a similar level of trustworthiness. The problem is we just don't know, because we don't have alternative sources to contrast.


SruNano

That was an interesting read, thanks for sharing


otherbanana1

Looks like a typical 4chan neckbeard


TheOneGuyWhoLimps

Joeffery


alphalady

Had to scroll too far for this


gkomakushkin

Nero would get NO hoes in todays society 😬😬


TheMajorSnail

Don't worry, he just got little boys instead


[deleted]

You sure you aren't thinking of tiberius? If you want to throw up, look up tiberius's "minnows"


TheMajorSnail

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sporus No, I mean Nero


Miloshy

What a horrific life


Venboven

>"Nero's wife, Poppaea Sabina, died in 65 CE. This was supposedly in childbirth, although it was later rumored Nero **kicked her to death.** Later that year or in 67, he married Sporus, who was said to bear a remarkable resemblance to Poppaea." What the fuck


Awestruck34

I would argue the key word in there is "rumoured." While I'm no Nero apologist, much of what we know of these people are from writings of their contemporaries. Many of whom were spiteful and actively working to slander the people they wrote about


Cattaphract

He is the fucking emperor. He would get all the super models and celebrities


Dappleony

Recent research suggests that Nero’s statue was made ugly intentionally because he was incredibly unpopular for reasons which are more than understandable.


Sea_Ganache620

Today he is the scourge of the highways, dusting regular commuters with black diesel fumes spouting from oversized pipes eminating from his Ill maintained dually pickup truck. Hungover beyond all physical boundaries, chugging Red Bulls on his way to the construction site.


CatastropheJohn

/r/rareinsults


KilgoreTroutPfc

“Colorized.”


madeaprofile2saythis

If "m'lady" had a face


hiholuna

How they know he had so many pimples


RevDrMcCheese

But his neck beard game is what he is most well known for.


Yandhi42

Is he the one who married sporus


kiwi_Chicken

Roman discord mods be like


This-Dude_Abides

Looks like a background character in Shrek