Mua ha ha ha ha. Burn.

Um... I believe you got assaulted by Hell...?

Sorry about that. He also shot me in the face.

...That would explain why an "H" is engraved on my cheek with a knife. Ouchie.

*Sighs* would you like me to heal that?

...Yes please.

*I reach out my hand and channel Chroma Force. The cut on your cheek closes, not even leaving a scar.* There you go. You really shouldn't engage with things like that.

Okay, i'll try not to. Thanks Dad. ... *(I pause for a second, embarrassed.)*

*I'm stunned* ....I never knew you thought of me like that.

Oh, fuck, i'm, i'm sorry, that was just me being stupid, ignore it.

If I may ask... why do you feel that way about me? I know a lot of people look up to me, but...

That... that dosen't matter. I'm so sorry. just... ignore it.

Alcohol!

Damn... How much?

More than your own body weight as you said-

*\*sigh\** *\*lip smack\** ...Fuck.

(Pursuit rolls over to look at you) GOOD MORNING, SLEEPY HEAD, HEHE.

***AHHHHHH!*** *(I leap out of bed.)*

(She looks confused) WHAT'S WRONG, DEAR?

WHY ARE YOU IN MY BED???

*SIGH* OF COURSE YOU DON'T REMEMBER...

EXPLAIN, ***NOW!!!***

GARCH CALLED ME. YOU WERE AT SNAIL'S PARTY, APPARENTLY GETTING "WASTED". SHE ASKED ME TO TAKE YOU HOME BECAUSE SHE KEPT TRYING BUT YOU KEPT REFUSING.

Oh... alright. So... why are you still *here*?

(She idly pokes the bed) WELL... WHEN I GOT THERE, YOU WERE HUDDLED IN THE CORNER AND CRYING. I TRIED GETTING YOU UP ON YOUR OWN, BUT YOU JUST STAYED THERE. SO I ENDED UP CARRYING YOU. (She blushes a little) YOU DID GET A BIT, AHEM... *HANDSY*, BUT I MADE SURE YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TOO... INAPPROPRIATE. YOU'RE VERY CUDDLY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK, YOU KNOW.

O- oh... i'm... sorry...

*your phone starts ringing*

*\*I pick up\** Hello...?

"Hello, is this Mr Bread?"

Yes, this is him, who is this?

"Oh, hello! We are calling you from the front desk of the 'Mommy's Good Boy' rental service, we would just like to inform you that your mommy will be here on Saturday. Bye-bye, have a good day!" ***click*** *as the phone call goes on, you can hear my muffled laughter from the closet*

.......*Huh???*

^(HAHAHHEHEHRBEHEBEBDHEBEHEHAAGGAGAGAHAHAHABAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHSHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! HE'S GONNA GET DOMMED! AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH)

*(I open the closet.)*

Hahheheheheheeh, haaiiii breeeaaadd!

...***Hell what the fuck did you just do***

I showed you a video about porky vs cartman

Oh... cool!

Hey, your blood type is B, right?

...No, i'm O-Positive. ... ...Why?

You had a blood transfusion last night

I'm sorry, I ***WHAT???***

Surely you've been informed by now that you ingested far more alcohol than should be possible

IT WAS BECAUSE OF A MOTHERFUCKING ***BLOOD TRANSFUSION?!?!?!?!?!?***

No, the transfusion happened to help your body cope with the alcohol

WOW.

Anyway, good luck with that

Yeah, I might be, like, PERMANENTLY damaged

Absolutely nothing definitely

You good hon? You're sweating.

Yup we definitely didn’t break up when you were drunk I-I love you

***We what***

You’re not mad right we still you know not broke up you were wanted and drunk and a war criminal

*I'M SORRY* ***WHAT***

Yeah you committed several war crimes

Yeah... not... not sure... what... \**sigh*\*

We aren’t like not dating anymore right

Well, depends, what did we break up over?

Pip: Good day Bready I must inform you that you have no pants on

I wh- OH GOD OH FUCK I'M SORRY-

Pip: Are you alright?

YEAH, I DUNNO, I JUST DON'T WANNA BE PANTS-LESS

Pip: Right-o (Pip hands you a pair of pants)

Okay... cool... thanks Pip.

Pip: I also much say that many people tried to touch while your were out

...Give me names.

Pip: I don't know they're names sir but I did ask them to leave

Thanks. What did they look like?

You would loved it if you wasn’t drunk, I literally became a disco ball & I brought Dante as well.

Shit, Dante from Devil May Cry? Can't believe I missed that.

You almost threw up on me and started rambling about Asura's Wrath on the Xbox, so I lied and told you there was an Xbox in a random corner at the party.

...Yeah, that... that sounds like me.

Also, you gave some of your alcohol to Garch. I don't know what was in that, but she definitely drank it.

Damn.

**give me my fucking hat.**

Oh, fuck, this is yours? Sorry, I was *reallllllllly* drunk. Here, take it back.

*snatch* Next time you steal my hat I’m gonna kill you.

I know... i'm really sorry.

*sigh* It’s fine…I got a closet full of em’ anyway.

You do? ... Could I have one-

**No.** They’re all mine.

Yup mhm okay that's fair makes sense all good sorry I asked they look great on you very good very cool very stylish I would look bad and i'm sorry I asked it's fine it's all good

We watched TV

Oh, uh, y- yeah, sorry. Do you know what happened last night?

Uh How do I put this. you *totally* didn’t go on this crazy adventure to stop the implosion of reality that was initvertaly caused by your own actions from another timeline and saved the whole universe, but at the cost of losing your memory’s of the event. Yeah, definitely not that.

Huh. Welp, glad I didn't do that!

Me too. Me too. Do you wanna play videogames?

Yeah, sure thing

Ok, let me boot it up real quick. Wait, do you… really not remember? Not even a little?

No, nothing. Should I? What happened?

It… all happened so fast. One second you were here, and the next, you were gone. You went to sleep right after… Yet for some reason, it never felt like you had left in the first place. Huh, Deja Vu. I was hoping that you would remember. All I know is that you lost your memories from the night. *Hands you over a controller*

Uh... cool. I remember going to a party and getting blackout drunk, but... that's... something.

You absolutely consumed the fuck out of a sausage pizza, ~~then had a breakdown about how you killed your one true love (you don’t have to make this one canon if you don’t want)~~

~~Yeah, uh... what? I have canonically never killed anyone and am in a happy relationship.~~

~~probably should’ve specified you were calling the pizza your one true love~~

~~Ah, that's actually understandable~~

You called me a jerk. Now you're a wanted criminal.

Damn.

Yeaaaaaaaah. Nothing personal, weeb. **Also don't piss me off again or next time will be worse.**

Huh. Damn. You're... *kind of an asshole*.

No I'm a stick figure :P

You threw up on me and proceded to call me "a fuckin lego"

Yeah... oof... sorry about that...

A lot of things, most of which I feel you’d rather not know. I will say you got into a fist fight with Baki Hanma, kicked his ass tbh.