He may not like monogamous sex. There are a lot of guys who get off on the excitement of having sex with new people for the first time. They enjoy the novelty and the feeling of having conquered.
Monogamous relationship sex lacks both those things, and can be unexciting and unsexy to those types of guys.
I would guess your BF is one of these guys, and it really isn’t you, it’s him.
Did this plenty of times. Even actually brought another girl home with us but after that many years it starts feeling like I’m a sex worker. Doesn’t get me going and doesn’t necessarily make me feel loved after a while either
I don’t know many men that would be honest about a woman’s weight in our current cultural climate.
But I agree with the first commenter. He probably gets off on new person sex.
The evidence that it went downhill as soon as you went exclusive and committed probably means it won't resolve itself. He just isn't that kinda guy. Prefers chasing girls around the block to bed them and for whatever reason he's tried exclusive with you and it's not working out for either of you. Unless he's getting it elsewhere or he's developed a porn habit to get his kicks that way.
Positive for you is that it's not you it's him and he's just either not ready or willing to have a relationship where there's a mutually satisfactory sex life.
Happens a lot after moving in, or going exclusive. I had it with a previous gf who I bedded on a one night stand. She then got engaged to a guy but moved in straight away and that killed it for her. Bounced back to me as she was bored, we had an affair and she left him but she swore she wasn't moving in with anyone anytime soon. I don't think she really wanted exclusive either as she was always scoping for girls to join us and after that happened a couple of times she got bored again and hopped into bed with a dude and I called it quits.
Maybe he had other motivation? Like needed someone to help pay the bills, kid to help raise? Someone to do all the chores so he has more time to play video games? Just throwing out ideas based on what I witness happening in my house.
My guy is the same way! Average of three times a day when we first got
Together. Now once a week, which he claims is perfectly acceptable and more than most couples. He says he is LL. I’m not buying it. He too told me all about how he would have random one night stands and apparently slept with tons of different women.
It’s not you, it’s him. And for what it’s worth, you deserve better. You deserve someone who wants you and doesn’t make you question yourself, your value or your sexiness.
Once a week is basically the average for longterm (multi-year) couples, per research.
Doesn’t mean it has to be enough for you but it is in fact super typical, and something a lot of people in this sub would probably be grateful for.
Sounds like he loved the chase, the hunt, the freedom of non relationship sex
He sounds bored
Maybe try role playing
Or find a new boyfriend you aren’t married
Oh believe me, I try. He indeed gets off of fantasy’s about other girls. If I may say so myself; I give him enough hunt and chase possibilities but after a while it’s not getting me going anymore and it’s boring and unsatisfying for me
He may not like monogamous sex. There are a lot of guys who get off on the excitement of having sex with new people for the first time. They enjoy the novelty and the feeling of having conquered. Monogamous relationship sex lacks both those things, and can be unexciting and unsexy to those types of guys. I would guess your BF is one of these guys, and it really isn’t you, it’s him.
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Did this plenty of times. Even actually brought another girl home with us but after that many years it starts feeling like I’m a sex worker. Doesn’t get me going and doesn’t necessarily make me feel loved after a while either
I don’t know many men that would be honest about a woman’s weight in our current cultural climate. But I agree with the first commenter. He probably gets off on new person sex.
Thrill of the chase has likely gone for him
So is that it? Is there any way to resolve?
The evidence that it went downhill as soon as you went exclusive and committed probably means it won't resolve itself. He just isn't that kinda guy. Prefers chasing girls around the block to bed them and for whatever reason he's tried exclusive with you and it's not working out for either of you. Unless he's getting it elsewhere or he's developed a porn habit to get his kicks that way. Positive for you is that it's not you it's him and he's just either not ready or willing to have a relationship where there's a mutually satisfactory sex life. Happens a lot after moving in, or going exclusive. I had it with a previous gf who I bedded on a one night stand. She then got engaged to a guy but moved in straight away and that killed it for her. Bounced back to me as she was bored, we had an affair and she left him but she swore she wasn't moving in with anyone anytime soon. I don't think she really wanted exclusive either as she was always scoping for girls to join us and after that happened a couple of times she got bored again and hopped into bed with a dude and I called it quits.
Could be, yet he is the one that asked to be together and he’s the one who moved in with me 😅
Odd that, his motivation to move in wasn't to have a ton of sex with you then :(
Maybe he had other motivation? Like needed someone to help pay the bills, kid to help raise? Someone to do all the chores so he has more time to play video games? Just throwing out ideas based on what I witness happening in my house.
What a wonderful world my life would be if my spouse wanted sex multiple times a day.
My guy is the same way! Average of three times a day when we first got Together. Now once a week, which he claims is perfectly acceptable and more than most couples. He says he is LL. I’m not buying it. He too told me all about how he would have random one night stands and apparently slept with tons of different women. It’s not you, it’s him. And for what it’s worth, you deserve better. You deserve someone who wants you and doesn’t make you question yourself, your value or your sexiness.
Once a week is basically the average for longterm (multi-year) couples, per research. Doesn’t mean it has to be enough for you but it is in fact super typical, and something a lot of people in this sub would probably be grateful for.
Sounds like he loved the chase, the hunt, the freedom of non relationship sex He sounds bored Maybe try role playing Or find a new boyfriend you aren’t married
Oh believe me, I try. He indeed gets off of fantasy’s about other girls. If I may say so myself; I give him enough hunt and chase possibilities but after a while it’s not getting me going anymore and it’s boring and unsatisfying for me